0:00:08 > 0:00:15This programme contains some strong language
0:00:24 > 0:00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Go-oo-oo-od evening, good evening, good evening, good evening,
0:00:35 > 0:00:37good evening, good evening, and welcome to QI,
0:00:37 > 0:00:41where tonight we're doing the maths and making the money.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Let's meet our mathematical masterminds.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46The irrational Aisling Bea.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48APPLAUSE
0:00:50 > 0:00:53The recurring Susan Calman.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54APPLAUSE
0:00:57 > 0:00:59A prime example, Sandi Toksvig.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00APPLAUSE
0:01:03 > 0:01:06And the square root of f-all, Alan Davies.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:01:12 > 0:01:14So, let's get their numbers.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Susan goes:
0:01:15 > 0:01:18# One, two, three, four... #
0:01:18 > 0:01:19Aisling goes:
0:01:19 > 0:01:21# Two, four, six, eight... #
0:01:21 > 0:01:25- Sandi goes: - # Five-seven-oh-five! #
0:01:25 > 0:01:27And Alan goes:
0:01:27 > 0:01:28- CHILD:- 'Two twos are six!
0:01:28 > 0:01:32'Two threes are seven. Two fours are 24.'
0:01:32 > 0:01:35LAUGHTER Well done.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39It's getting worse, you know.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Now, before we start, we've already done a little market research
0:01:42 > 0:01:46to see if many heads are better than one.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49We've asked a random selection of our studio audience to guess
0:01:49 > 0:01:52how many sweets are in this jar,
0:01:52 > 0:01:57and we want each member of the panel to do the same, right?
0:01:57 > 0:01:59So you can write down your thoughts.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01I'll come back to you at the end of the show
0:02:01 > 0:02:02and ask you for your best guesses.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06The winner will get to call themselves Smarty-Pants.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Can I just check that they are actually sweets first of all?
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Oh, yes, they really are individual chocolate beans.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- I've done it already.- Wow!- Done.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20You can put it away till the end of the show.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24Now, what was this man very good at doing with his fingers?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29This man being the man sitting down with the crown.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31He kind of looks like he's doing the Macarena,
0:02:31 > 0:02:33but I don't think they used to do that.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Is it a card trick? Is it a "nothing up my sleeves", is it one of those?
0:02:36 > 0:02:38It looks like that.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39- AISLING:- Is the man in the middle Jesus?
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I know that face from somewhere.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- We're in the Old Testament. - Oh, are we?- Well...
0:02:46 > 0:02:48The man in the middle is Daniel.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51He was in a lion's den, if you remember.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54He was in prison and he was released from prison
0:02:54 > 0:02:56because he had the ability to interpret...?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58- Dreams.- Dreams.- Dreams.
0:02:58 > 0:03:03And the King whose dreams he interpreted was?
0:03:03 > 0:03:04Happy.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05LAUGHTER
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- Asleep.- N, N, N...
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Nestafarius.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11- Nebuchadnezzar. - Nebuchadnezzar.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13- Oh, I was close. - Yes, yes.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Nebuchadnezzar, who was king of?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16All things around him.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19- Babylon.- He was.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Yes.- And the Babylonians were very good
0:03:22 > 0:03:23at doing what with their fingers?
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Gardening. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- What's the theme... Yes, no, you're right. What's...- Green-fingered.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- Babylon is...- What's the theme of our show tonight?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Babylon is where... - Adding up, adding up.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35- Maths.- Yeah.- Maths.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Babylonians, I won't say they invented mathematics, exactly,
0:03:38 > 0:03:40but they had a counting system on their fingers which was
0:03:40 > 0:03:42different from ours.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45How's our counting system work? One, two, three, four, five...
0:03:45 > 0:03:47One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Phew!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49And therefore, because of that...
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- Decimal, decimal.- We have a decimal system, based on ten.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54But they have a different system,
0:03:54 > 0:03:56they counted on their fingers differently.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- Oh, they did the... - One, two, three...
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- They went one, two, three, four... - They went the JOINTS of the fingers.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05- Yeah, the joints.- Yes. One, two, three. Four, five, six. Seven, eight, nine, Ten, 11, 12.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08And then they'd put their thumb up. 13, 14, 15.
0:04:08 > 0:04:1016, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21,
0:04:10 > 0:04:1222, 23, 24.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Put their finger up.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17And so on, until they got to 60, which is five iterations of 12.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20After that you'd need another person.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Yes, exactly. Just as we would need another person after ten.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27That's the point. And they had a very successful system.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Why is that important and influential?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Well, it's the hours of the day, is it?
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Hours of the day, 60 minutes in an hour.
0:04:35 > 0:04:3660 seconds in a minute.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39But the 24 divides into more than any other number,
0:04:39 > 0:04:41divides by two, three, four, six, eight...
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- Oh, Alan, you're on fire! - ..and 12.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:04:51 > 0:04:52- Yeah! Absolutely right. - Good boy!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54We also have 360...
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Degrees.
0:04:56 > 0:05:01..degrees in a full circle. 12 inches to a foot.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03- 12 is so much more pleasing, I think.- It is.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Well, it's factorisable,
0:05:05 > 0:05:07and therefore it's a much more natural way.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10It seems like it was some chap with more time on his hands.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Ten is easy - you look and think, "There's ten," straight away.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16He's thinking, "But we could be more creative," and he's working out...
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- Isn't he? He's got more time. - But they didn't have the internet.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21They were just looking at their hands, going,
0:05:21 > 0:05:24"I wish I had a Game Boy. May as well count my knuckles."
0:05:25 > 0:05:26I've got a question.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Yeah?
0:05:28 > 0:05:31When you want to say to someone, just one, I just want one.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- You know, across a room. - Yeah.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Get me two, get me two. How do you do that?
0:05:36 > 0:05:37Do you have to go like that?
0:05:41 > 0:05:44If you go like that it means three, you get three of everything.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46It's a very interesting question.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I'm only going to tell you this three more times.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51If you were Roman, that would be five, wouldn't it?
0:05:51 > 0:05:52It's very confusing.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- Yeah, the Romans, that's five. Yeah. - There you are, that's it.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59Now, last night, I tossed two heads at the same time.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01What are the chances? What?
0:06:03 > 0:06:06- I don't understand, what are you doing? No, no, what?- No, no.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- Yeah, no, it's fine.- No, no, I misunderstood, I misunderstood.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11It's completely fine.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Two coins at the same time?
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Yeah, a coin here, a coin there.
0:06:15 > 0:06:16I just want to know what the odds are.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Because I'm tempted to say one in three, but I bet it's not.
0:06:19 > 0:06:20Well, what...
0:06:20 > 0:06:21KLAXON
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- SUSAN:- It's seven in 94.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30- No, you've got two coins, right. - Yeah.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33There are four possible outcomes.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34There's heads-heads.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Heads-tails.
0:06:36 > 0:06:37Yeah.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38Tails-tails.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40- And tails-heads. - Tails-heads.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- Tails-heads. Yeah. - Yeah. So it's one in four.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44- One in four.- One in four. - It's one in four.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Does it have anything to do with whether you normally toss
0:06:47 > 0:06:50with your right hand or toss with your left hand?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52That's assuming it's an equal toss.
0:06:52 > 0:06:57The thing is, it's not that difficult a thing to understand mathematically,
0:06:57 > 0:07:03but this was given to Members of Parliament as a question in 2012.
0:07:03 > 0:07:0660% of MPs got it wrong.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Did that include the Chancellor of the Exchequer?
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Well, there was a split on party lines.
0:07:11 > 0:07:1447% of the Tories got it wrong.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18And 77% of Labour MPs got it wrong.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Now, listen, can I...? I should have said this at the beginning,
0:07:23 > 0:07:26I have to be very honest, I am phobic about maths.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28No, I understand.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31I was like you, I was also... My father's a mathematician,
0:07:31 > 0:07:34a physicist, and I was phobic about maths.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- Yeah.- I always said, "Oh, no, I'm allergic to maths, I can't do it."
0:07:37 > 0:07:41- But, actually, it's very beautiful, isn't it, it's really... - Oh, now I love it.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- I wish one could be turned on to it. - Yeah.- I'm going to get turned on tonight to maths.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46All right.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49My thinking, Stephen, is if it's a head and a tail, that's one outcome.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Yeah.- And then a tail and a tail and a head and a head.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55I'm not counting which coin does a thing.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56I'm still sticking with three.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Ah, then you think it's one in three.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00And you're still wrong.
0:08:01 > 0:08:02But I'd give them a break, though,
0:08:02 > 0:08:04because if I was in parliament and I was like,
0:08:04 > 0:08:07"Listen, I know you said you're going to fix the housing system
0:08:07 > 0:08:09"and you're going to sort my benefits,
0:08:09 > 0:08:11"but the big question is - I've got two coins.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14"I've got really good hands, I can flip them at the same time.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15"What's the probability of each hand?"
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Like, if he could pull that out and go, "You're a witch!"
0:08:18 > 0:08:20and then... You wouldn't trust them.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Do you know the story of the professor of mathematics
0:08:22 > 0:08:25at the University of Warwick, Jeffrey Hamilton,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27giving a lecture in the 1970s on this topic?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29He was talking about probabilities
0:08:29 > 0:08:32and about it either coming down heads or coming down tails
0:08:32 > 0:08:35and how you could calculate that it was going to be either one
0:08:35 > 0:08:37or the other, and he tossed the coin in the air
0:08:37 > 0:08:41and it fell from his hand and it rolled across the lecture theatre
0:08:41 > 0:08:43and ended up exactly on its edge.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47So I like the fact there is a chance element in all these things.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Always, absolutely. Yeah.
0:08:48 > 0:08:53And of course, ordinary people who are not MPs are just as fallible.
0:08:53 > 0:08:58In fact, 74% got it wrong - only 3% more stupid than the Labour MPs.
0:08:59 > 0:09:04- At least then they're representing the common man.- Yeah.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08There was a third-pound burger, the A&E company, the rival to McDonalds.
0:09:08 > 0:09:13People preferred it to the McDonalds version, but it failed.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16When people were asked why they didn't buy it, they said,
0:09:16 > 0:09:17well, it was a con.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Oh, they thought it was less than a quarter pound?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22They thought you got less meat.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25AMERICAN ACCENT: It's only a third, it's not a quarter!
0:09:25 > 0:09:27And three is a smaller number than four,
0:09:27 > 0:09:32therefore a third of a pound must be less than a quarter of a pound.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- Oh, my God.- And this is the most powerful nation on Earth.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36LAUGHTER
0:09:36 > 0:09:40This is also the nation where nine out of ten high school graduates
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- think that Joan of Arc is Noah's wife, so...- Yes.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45LAUGHTER
0:09:45 > 0:09:47But on the subject of probability, I've got this.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50It's really interesting, it's a probability issue.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51You want a pack of cards each.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55- I can't catch. - Oh, well caught.- Well held.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56We've got some for you. All right.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59I want you to take the cards out and give them a good shuffle,
0:09:59 > 0:10:01good shuffle. I'm going to do the same.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03I've just shuffled them.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07LAUGHTER
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Beautifully done.
0:10:09 > 0:10:14Sandi's, Sandi's, Sandi's... Look at her, she's like a croupier.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15Jesus!
0:10:17 > 0:10:18Yeah. Very good.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Oh, no.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Very good.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23- Yes, I've shuffled, I've riffle shuffled.- Yeah.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27- I'm not a gambler.- OK. OK, so can you shove your cards in here?
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Oh, all right, then.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31All right. Thank you. I'll give it a good shake.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Is this going to be one of those Derren Brown ones where we
0:10:34 > 0:10:36all can't eat for a week, or something like that?
0:10:36 > 0:10:39No, nothing like that. There you are. There you go.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42All right. It's just about probability, it's not a big deal.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Is there anything you can't turn your hand to, Stephen? Now it's magic.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47You haven't seen me turn my hand to anything yet.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50OK. And I'll put my cards in, as well.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54There we go. All right. And give it all a good shake.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55All right, so you take one card out.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Don't look, and if you can put it close to your chest,
0:10:58 > 0:11:00but not, no, no, don't look.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- I've looked, I know what it is. - Well, it doesn't matter. All right.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06The point is to shove it close to your chest so that that's where you're going to...
0:11:06 > 0:11:08That's not your chest, darling.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10The reason to shove it close to your chest is so that
0:11:10 > 0:11:12when you reveal it, it's camera height.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- Oh, right.- That's all it is.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17All right. So take one out, feel it, yeah, random. All right.
0:11:17 > 0:11:23- Magic.- Yeah, very good, very good. All right. I'll do the same. All right. All right.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25I'll do the same. OK, so the point is it's about probability.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28The first card you choose, it could be anything.
0:11:28 > 0:11:33The second card, the probability it's going to be the same card is quite small.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36And it's even less likely that three cards will be the same,
0:11:36 > 0:11:37and so on and so on.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40The chances that you'd get all the cards the same
0:11:40 > 0:11:44is about one in two billion.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Now there is a possibility,
0:11:46 > 0:11:50but a very unlikely possibility, that two of the cards will be the same.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- OK.- So Sandi, you'll reveal your card.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- Yours is the six of clubs, all right.- Me?
0:11:56 > 0:11:58OK, and you reveal yours. Oh, my God!
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Oh!
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Now Alan. Oh! You reveal yours.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05Oh, no, surely not.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08No, oh, my God! And mine as well!
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Oh, there you go!
0:12:09 > 0:12:12APPLAUSE Funny, how can that happen?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15There it is.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17- Burn him!- He's a witch.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Yeah. There you are. OK.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- He's a witch. - That's a very good trick.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- Thank you very much.- That's very good.- That's terribly good.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25APPLAUSE
0:12:28 > 0:12:30- All right, there we are. - Fantastic, honestly.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- That was really good. - Oh, you're sweet, thank you.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35It was like Paul Daniels was in the room.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36If only he was in the bag.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39LAUGHTER
0:12:39 > 0:12:43So the chances were about one in two billion that you'd get all
0:12:43 > 0:12:46the cards the same and it just happened this evening.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50I'm amazed. So, tell me now, do animals count?
0:12:51 > 0:12:56Do you mean in life, in a sort of sociological...?
0:12:56 > 0:12:59- They count very much, in that sense. - They count.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02But do they count in the sense of actually...?
0:13:02 > 0:13:06From what I know, there are some animals that can count.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Yes, you're right.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- They all lined up for Noah. I'm just saying.- Yeah.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Yeah, and that's a fact story, a true fact story.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- That's a fact story, so... - Yeah.- You don't hear them fighting.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Have you any thoughts on this side of the room?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Well, I can imagine a monkey can count.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Surely.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25There must be a rhesus monkey with an accountancy degree,
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- there must be.- Yeah.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30But you're spot on. Not only monkeys, but monkeys certainly are.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Apparently chicks when they hatch
0:13:32 > 0:13:34can show some propensity towards being able to count.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36One, two, three, four, five, chicks.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40Because you can see their heads counting, can't you, they're like one, two, three, four.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44Well, let me give you a list of some of the animals that have been
0:13:44 > 0:13:45spotted counting.
0:13:45 > 0:13:49Pigeons, parrots, raccoons, ferrets, rats, salamanders, honeybees,
0:13:49 > 0:13:51monkeys and apes
0:13:51 > 0:13:55have all been seen to count, add and subtract.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Rhesus monkeys - funny you should mention them -
0:13:57 > 0:14:02at Columbia University have shown they can arrange up to nine objects in the correct numerical sequence.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05It's always rhesus monkeys. Do you not feel sorry for them?
0:14:05 > 0:14:09- They're always saying, oh, let's teach them to speak French, or... - Yeah, you're right.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Crows and parrots can count up to five or six.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Cormorants can count up to seven. Now how do you know that?
0:14:14 > 0:14:16They take seven fish back to the nest.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18- Not quite that. - Something like that.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22Actually, Chinese fishermen have trained them to catch fish for them.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25And what they do is they put a ring round their throat,
0:14:25 > 0:14:27so that they can't swallow fish themselves.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32So they catch the fish, but dump them on the deck of the boat.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36And how they've trained them is that once they get past seven, on
0:14:36 > 0:14:41the eighth they get rid of the ring and the cormorant can catch its own.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43I love that, when they make up their own mind.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46There used to be a bear at Regent's Park Zoo in the 1920s
0:14:46 > 0:14:49that was fed biscuits by the general public.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52And on Mondays it was half price and so they got a lot more biscuits.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54And so on Tuesdays the bear used to take day the off.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Yes, that's it.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59He counted days, or she counted days - ursine calendar.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00It's brilliant.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02But I suppose it's when in need, like you wouldn't be needing
0:15:02 > 0:15:05to count up stuff if you're a bear, like, you're not...
0:15:05 > 0:15:08But sometimes you'll see, maybe they need to count how many kids they have.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Yes, yeah.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12And they can tell if one of them has gone missing.
0:15:12 > 0:15:17Although ducks are rubbish at that, they are. I live on a house boat for many, many years,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20and we're forever trying to get baby ducks to join back up
0:15:20 > 0:15:22with Mother, who'd just gone off.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23She was off down to Battersea.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27Sandi, loads of your stories of what you do for entertainment are like,
0:15:27 > 0:15:30we used to try and convince ducks to hang out with each other...
0:15:30 > 0:15:33I suffer from a fatal condition, Aisling,
0:15:33 > 0:15:35which is posh voice, no money.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:41 > 0:15:44That sounds absolutely awful, I would hate to have that.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48What's funny about this, though, is that birds have got tiny,
0:15:48 > 0:15:52- tiny brains. Really, you would expect nothing of a bird.- Mmm.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55And yet some of the primates have got quite big brains.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57You'd think they'd be more than counting and yet
0:15:57 > 0:16:00they don't seem to be doing more than count to five, like the birds.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02I don't think it's anything to do with the brain
0:16:02 > 0:16:05because I remember being in the desert in Africa
0:16:05 > 0:16:08and there were ants I was shown who apparently work out their shadow
0:16:08 > 0:16:11and the angle of the sun in order to get their path back home.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Now, really, that's kind of trigonometry, isn't it?
0:16:13 > 0:16:16And you wouldn't think an ant would be doing it.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19But they actually use their own shadow to work out...
0:16:19 > 0:16:21to calculate their route.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Yes, and there are mosquito fish, which is a kind of carp,
0:16:24 > 0:16:26and they are able to count, it seems.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30If they are harassed by a male they take refuge in a shoal
0:16:30 > 0:16:31of other mosquito fish.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33They can count on their female...
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Yeah, but they detect the difference between just one or two or
0:16:37 > 0:16:39two or three or three or four. They can't tell
0:16:39 > 0:16:42the difference between four or five, so, you know, it's basically
0:16:42 > 0:16:45a small amount they can tell and they hide in the largest number.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49It may be because the male mosquito fish has the largest penis
0:16:49 > 0:16:53- of any fish relative to its body. - Oh, God.
0:16:53 > 0:16:54It's 70% of its length.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56And it's barbed.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58I don't think it's possible to come on this programme
0:16:58 > 0:17:00and not discuss the penis.
0:17:00 > 0:17:05No, it isn't. Not while I've got a breath in my body, Sandi!
0:17:05 > 0:17:07LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:10 > 0:17:15Now, why don't bankers give a damn what people think of them?
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Because they're psychopaths and they lack empathy.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Something like one in ten people who work on Wall Street have
0:17:22 > 0:17:25- psychopathic tendencies. Apparently. - Yes, it's true, yes.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- But that leaves 90% perfectly fine, doesn't it?- Yeah.
0:17:28 > 0:17:33It must be because in their world it all seems fine, what they do.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36That's probably true. But there's a funny thing about money.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Are you aware of that Hollywood phrase?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40I think it was William Goldman - "follow the money".
0:17:40 > 0:17:43You follow the money when you watch a movie.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45So if you see a movie and someone, you know,
0:17:45 > 0:17:48has a suitcase of money, everyone...
0:17:48 > 0:17:51You can register it, watch their eyes move -
0:17:51 > 0:17:54people watch the money. You can't help it, it's very human.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57You know, the first time you get a load of cash in your hand,
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- which occasionally I have, it's just...- That's the point.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02You know that scene in...
0:18:02 > 0:18:04What's the one where Demi Moore rolls around the bed on the money?
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Indecent Proposal. And she puts... I've done that...
0:18:08 > 0:18:10LAUGHTER
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- Which William Goldman was... - ..with 40 quid. But it does feel...
0:18:14 > 0:18:16- If you get a...- In change.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20And that's the point of our...
0:18:20 > 0:18:23That's the point of our question.
0:18:23 > 0:18:28The physical proximity to money changes the way you feel.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32It seems that you can prove that being close to money makes you
0:18:32 > 0:18:34care less about what people think of you.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37That must be quite a new thing, cos money's quite new.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39There used to be like... You used to, when you had a good night,
0:18:39 > 0:18:41come home and throw chickens on yourself
0:18:41 > 0:18:43because that was how you...
0:18:44 > 0:18:46But now it's cash.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48But let me take you through the experiment.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Test subjects were asked who they wanted to work with.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54They were told randomly either that everyone else wanted to work
0:18:54 > 0:18:57with them or they were told that nobody did.
0:18:57 > 0:19:02So half the subjects felt rejected by their peers, half felt reinforced.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Now, some of the subjects had been previously exposed to money
0:19:05 > 0:19:08and they were just told it was a test for manual dexterity -
0:19:08 > 0:19:11could you count out this money very fast?
0:19:11 > 0:19:14And the other half were asked the same question,
0:19:14 > 0:19:16but it was bits of blank paper.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19The ones who had handled the money were not offended
0:19:19 > 0:19:22when told that nobody wanted to work with them.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25The ones that had handled the paper were offended.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27I've got a Scottish fiver.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Coming here, trying to buy England!
0:19:32 > 0:19:34LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:19:38 > 0:19:42- It's a status thing, maybe it makes you feel more important.- Exactly.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45- I think it can make you feel safer. - Even if it isn't yours, yeah.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Because you can buy your way out of any trouble, as we all know.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51It's just, you just buy your way out, as I... Yep.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- So it makes you feel, erm, safer, I think, perhaps.- Yeah.
0:19:57 > 0:19:58It's weird, isn't it?
0:19:58 > 0:20:02And they also used money to test people feigning blindness.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04If someone says, "I'm blind,"
0:20:04 > 0:20:07they go, "All right, let's test your blindness."
0:20:07 > 0:20:10"Can't see anything." "Read this." "Can't see it."
0:20:10 > 0:20:14Then you wave a £50 note in front of them, they go, "Oh, wow."
0:20:15 > 0:20:16A £5 doesn't work,
0:20:16 > 0:20:19but a £50 note is almost impossible for you not to look at it.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22This is clearly a test not done by the NHS, who don't have a £50 note.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Well, there was an ophthalmic optician who didn't, so instead
0:20:25 > 0:20:29he put a Post-it Note on his forehead saying "go fuck yourself".
0:20:29 > 0:20:33And similarly, people couldn't help looking at it.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Now, what illegal substance can be found in the pockets
0:20:36 > 0:20:38of most of our audience?
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- How did it get there?- Cocaine.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Cos it's on banknotes.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Is the right answer.- Yes! - Yes, absolutely.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47APPLAUSE
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Most of our audience...
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Most of our audience have residue of cocaine in their...
0:20:52 > 0:20:54I can see everyone shuffling around...
0:20:54 > 0:20:56They're licking their money.
0:20:56 > 0:21:03More than 99% of banknotes in circulation have detectable cocaine.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04- What?!- Yes.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08It's why drug dogs sometimes have difficulty in identifying.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Cos I get the sleeper train home and there's always a drug dog there.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Not for me, it's just a... It's because it's a good way
0:21:14 > 0:21:18of smuggling drugs up to... up north, the sleeper train.
0:21:18 > 0:21:23You don't want to go on the train. You want to get an actual mule.
0:21:23 > 0:21:28Nobody is going to expect somebody to have drugs on a mule
0:21:28 > 0:21:31because it's too obvious, isn't it?
0:21:31 > 0:21:34I'd love somebody arriving into Glasgow on a mule.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36- On a mule.- Nothing to see.
0:21:36 > 0:21:37- AISLING:- All right, lads?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39SHE IMITATES HOOVES
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- Can you clean it off? I mean, I don't want it.- Not really, no.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- Paper.- Put a hairdryer over it and you can blow the dust off, maybe.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47- That won't do it. - There used to be a hotel, Stephen,
0:21:47 > 0:21:50in New York, where the concierge was famous for washing the coins.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52If you didn't like the coins in your pocket, I believe
0:21:52 > 0:21:54he would put them in a jar and wash them for you.
0:21:54 > 0:21:55I can't think which one it was.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Are there hotels where they don't do that?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59LAUGHTER
0:21:59 > 0:22:02I don't know, I have no money, I have no idea.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Now, let's leave the filthy moolah.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07What do moon-starers do,
0:22:07 > 0:22:10and why might they call themselves that?
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Well, the clue would appear to be in the question.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Yeah.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18It's too obvious, I'd say they watch bare arses all the time.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- Yeah.- Well, moon-starers is an anagram of astronomers.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24- Yay! Points to you.- Good work.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26APPLAUSE
0:22:28 > 0:22:29- Good work! - That was damn fast.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32It's not an anagram, it's an aptagram. Sorry.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- Oh!- You're right, yeah.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37I'll never win, Sandi Toksvig, never!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39What's an aptagram, Sandi?
0:22:39 > 0:22:41An aptagram is an anagram that, where the word
0:22:41 > 0:22:43means roughly the same.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Like Apple Macintosh and laptop machines.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Yeah. Semolina - is no meal.
0:22:48 > 0:22:49Yeah.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Yes, moon-starer is an anagram of astronomer.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56In what time in history was that a relevant thing,
0:22:56 > 0:22:59the idea of anagrams and astronomers?
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Well, it must have been around the time of Galileo, surely.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05It was indeed, the early 17th century.
0:23:05 > 0:23:06But he wouldn't have spoken English,
0:23:06 > 0:23:09so why would he have changed his name to moon-starer?
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Yeah, this is an example of an anagram. He...
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Oh!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16He didn't use English anagrams, he used...?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Gree...Latin.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23Latin, very good. There he is.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27Why would they have used ars magna, great art, in that?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29- Oh, and that's moon is the ars. - And ars magna is?
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- And then magna is... - Is an anagram of anagrams.
0:23:33 > 0:23:34ALL: Oh.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- So, yes. But anyway, why... - Well, because the Church took a dim view of...
0:23:37 > 0:23:41Not because of the Church, although the Church did take a dim view of what he did.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43I like his very casual approach to the telescope.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45- He's just sort of...- Yeah.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Now I'm going to have a cigarette and now I'm going to look again.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Was it just to make the whole thing more fun?
0:23:50 > 0:23:51If only it was that.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55In fact, even in his day, there was scientific rivalry.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56So if you discovered something
0:23:56 > 0:23:59and you wanted to tell a friend about it and you didn't want
0:23:59 > 0:24:03anyone else to intercept the news, you gave it in anagram form.
0:24:03 > 0:24:04Oh, it's like codes at school.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Yes, it is. Exactly that, yeah.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Do you think they ever used to, like, rub around the telescope with
0:24:09 > 0:24:12ink and then run away and then he'll go, "Oh, what's that?
0:24:12 > 0:24:14"Oh, no, my eye! Oh, that's trickery."
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Who was his great rival and friend?
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Is it an anagram?
0:24:17 > 0:24:19I'm going to say Copernicus.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21No, no, it wasn't Copernicus. It was Kepler.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23And he sent him an anagram
0:24:23 > 0:24:26because he had discovered the rings of Saturn in 1610.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28ALAN CHORTLES
0:24:28 > 0:24:30No, not Saturn, that's Uranus!
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm laughing at the wrong one.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39- It's not the right planet, but it's still funny. - I knew one of them was funny.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41And he sent Kepler this.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44- Oh, my!- Ah, "smaismrm..."
0:24:44 > 0:24:46- Oh. Yeah.- Yes.
0:24:46 > 0:24:47- "Nugttauriras..."- Great.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Stick that where the sun don't shine.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52- It's pretty obvious what he's putting there.- Yeah.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56- That's...- I feel embarrassed asking you to say what it is.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57I feel bad.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00It's more important that the audience work it out.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Yeah, you're right.- I don't want to spoil the joy for them all.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04You're right.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06It's a Latin phrase, it actually is an anagram...
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I have discovered the rings of Saturn.
0:25:08 > 0:25:14Yes, it is that. Altissimum planetam tergeminum observavi.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- OK.- "I have observed the highest planet to be triplets."
0:25:17 > 0:25:21- Seen it.- I know.- Does he mean he's seen the moons of it, or something? What does he mean by triplets?
0:25:21 > 0:25:24He thought they were moons, but in fact we now know them to be rings.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26That must have been so exciting. Do you not think?
0:25:26 > 0:25:29It must have been so thrilling, just that one moment
0:25:29 > 0:25:32when that suddenly has happened and nobody else has seen it.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35I think it's quite clever, but they worked out they're planets
0:25:35 > 0:25:38because they were moving across the sky and the stars weren't.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41I think it was just the first thing that made them think something was afoot.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- Oh, I know, and that's what... - That one's moved. Why has that star moved?
0:25:44 > 0:25:46- It's not a star, it's Jupiter.- Yeah.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- And planet is from the Greek for wanderer, it means a wanderer.- Oh.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52They do this thing, I don't know if they're still doing it,
0:25:52 > 0:25:55but they did it for a long time, once a month in Reykjavik,
0:25:55 > 0:25:57the government would turn out all the street lighting
0:25:57 > 0:26:01and there would be a lecture on the public radio about the stars.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- And people would go outside. - Oh, brilliant.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06And they got rid of all the ambient light and you could look up and listen to the lecture
0:26:06 > 0:26:11- about what you were looking at. Do you not think that would be a wonderful thing?- That is brilliant.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15- Yeah.- Yeah, I love that. - But in terms of anagrams, this isn't an anagram, it's actually
0:26:15 > 0:26:20a limerick composed by someone, which I invite you to recite to me.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21See if you can.
0:26:21 > 0:26:22Uh?
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Yes. That's a shock, isn't it?
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- Yes.- And you can do it.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- Can you?- Yes.- Yep. - Yes, you can, it is a limerick.
0:26:29 > 0:26:30- OK. OK.- Right.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33You have to ask yourself what these number are, in fact.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35- They have some other... - A dozen and 12 dozen.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38Ah! Yeah, 12, but 144 is also called a...?
0:26:38 > 0:26:40A gross.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43So a dozen, a gross, a score,
0:26:43 > 0:26:48plus three times the square root of four... SUSAN LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:26:48 > 0:26:50..divided by seven. You're all right, you're doing well.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Plus five.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Well, calm down. I might have to slap you.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Yes!
0:26:59 > 0:27:00Are you all right?
0:27:00 > 0:27:03The episode of QI where Stephen just slaps me.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07It's not enough to be a limerick, it has to be true.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09What's nine squared?
0:27:09 > 0:27:10- 81.- Yeah.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14And as you know, 12 + 144 + 20 + 3...
0:27:14 > 0:27:19x the square root of four ¸ 7 + 5 x 11 is 81.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21- 136.- 81.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24No, 81. So, say it again now as a limerick. You can do it now.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26- Yes, yes.- Go on. - Go on, then, Susan.- Argh!
0:27:27 > 0:27:29A dozen... A dozen...
0:27:29 > 0:27:31A dozen, a gross and a score
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Plus three times the square root of four
0:27:34 > 0:27:35Divided by seven
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Plus five times eleven
0:27:37 > 0:27:41Equals nine squared plus not a bit more.
0:27:41 > 0:27:42There you are, well done!
0:27:42 > 0:27:44APPLAUSE
0:27:48 > 0:27:51It was a guy called Leigh Mercer who came up with that. It's rather good.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54- 12 + 1 = 11 + 2.- It does.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58Yeah, but in what other ways does 12 + 1 = 11 + 2?
0:27:58 > 0:28:01- Oh, is it an anagram, then? - They're anagrams of each other.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05"Twelve plus one" written out is an anagram of "eleven plus two".
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Wow, you really have had too much time on your hands.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13These were worked out by Nelson Mandela on Robben Island.
0:28:13 > 0:28:17- I think they're rather fabulous, so there.- They're marvellous.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19All right, OK.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23Now, what's the biggest mistake anyone's ever made with a pencil?
0:28:23 > 0:28:24Hmm.
0:28:24 > 0:28:25Oh, I say.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28Oh, no, it's got to be a miscalculation or something.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Well, ah, you'd... "Ah, aah..."
0:28:30 > 0:28:31"Yeah. Aah..."
0:28:31 > 0:28:34MORE IMPRESSION: "Aah, aah, now, now..."
0:28:34 > 0:28:36- Lead poisoning? Sucking on the lead? - "Steady."
0:28:36 > 0:28:39It's not a, it's not a historical miscalculation?
0:28:39 > 0:28:40No, it's astonishing.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42It took place in New York... HE GRUNTS LOUDLY
0:28:42 > 0:28:44..in the '90s, I think it was.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46- I'll tell you exactly... - All right, Stephen?
0:28:46 > 0:28:48Was that a pencil there?
0:28:48 > 0:28:49Yeah. Just testing...
0:28:49 > 0:28:51Were you miscalculating with a pencil there, sir?
0:28:53 > 0:28:54I eased it in.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58I eased it in and it was all fine.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01Chapter four, I eased it in and it was all fine.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05In 1998, there was a problem with pencils.
0:29:05 > 0:29:08- "Problem with pencils." - "Problem with pencils."
0:29:08 > 0:29:10"A pencil problem," basically, yeah.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13There's no reason for you to guess what it was.
0:29:13 > 0:29:18I went to the Pencil Museum in Keswick. What a museum that is!
0:29:18 > 0:29:20- Ah.- No, it's seriously...
0:29:20 > 0:29:23They've got a hall of fame of famous people that have visited.
0:29:23 > 0:29:26- Phill Jupitus is on it.- I've been there.- It is a very good museum.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29- It's a fabulous place. - Ah, fabulous. It's not that.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31It was pencils given to children.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Ah, drugs. Was it the one...?
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Time for drugs!
0:29:37 > 0:29:39I know what it was, they printed, for children,
0:29:39 > 0:29:41pencils that said "do not use drugs" on them,
0:29:41 > 0:29:44and when they sharpened them, eventually it said "use drugs."
0:29:44 > 0:29:46- Oh, you've dropped one.- Ah.
0:29:46 > 0:29:48- You're right. - Very good, very good.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50- Here they are. - That's "hil-ah-rious".
0:29:50 > 0:29:54They say here, "Too cool to do drugs."
0:29:54 > 0:29:57You shave it and it goes, "cool to do drugs."
0:29:57 > 0:29:59"Cool to do drugs."
0:29:59 > 0:30:01And then you shave it again and it goes, "do drugs."
0:30:01 > 0:30:03- Yes!- Do drugs. - There you are.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06It was a bit of a mistake,
0:30:06 > 0:30:10but well done, Sandi. So, other mistakes include, in 1945,
0:30:10 > 0:30:15the Arkansas legislature accidentally repealed all their laws at once.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17With a pencil?
0:30:17 > 0:30:22No, they had an act with the words - "All laws and parts of laws,
0:30:22 > 0:30:26"and particularly Act 33 of the Acts of 1941, are hereby repealed."
0:30:26 > 0:30:32They just meant the particular one, but it legally meant all their laws.
0:30:32 > 0:30:36And then in 2003, the German agency responsible for TV licences
0:30:36 > 0:30:41sent a series of reminders to St Walpurga, to pay her licence fee.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45She died in 777.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49Never having paid for her licence!
0:30:49 > 0:30:51No. It didn't stop them asking.
0:30:51 > 0:30:54And then in the Australian Morning Bulletin,
0:30:54 > 0:30:57which of course is called The Bully,
0:30:57 > 0:30:59they said there was an error
0:30:59 > 0:31:03printed in a story titled Pigs Float Down The Dawson, on page
0:31:03 > 0:31:0711 of yesterday's Bully. The story, by reporter Daniel Burdon, said
0:31:07 > 0:31:12that "more than 30,000 pigs were floating down the Dawson River."
0:31:12 > 0:31:15Actually, what the owner of the piggery said was,
0:31:15 > 0:31:17that "30 sows and pigs".
0:31:17 > 0:31:19LAUGHTER
0:31:22 > 0:31:25"We'd like to apologise for the error."
0:31:25 > 0:31:28Rather tragically, a group of volunteers in 1992 in France,
0:31:28 > 0:31:31who had volunteered to get rid of graffiti in the caves.
0:31:31 > 0:31:36- And they had a great big scrub away at a cave and...- Oh...
0:31:36 > 0:31:38Oh, no, not ancient cave paintings!
0:31:38 > 0:31:41- ..got rid of a 15,000-year-old bison painting.- Oh, no!
0:31:41 > 0:31:42Exactly!
0:31:42 > 0:31:46- You'd be really kicking yourself after that.- Yeah. Oops! Yeah.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49I was telling you about the law in Ireland recently.
0:31:49 > 0:31:51There were two within the one week.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55- The first one was where drugs were legal for 48 hours.- Oh, yes.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57And people, like, just went nuts. Well, they didn't go nuts.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00The said, "We're going to go nuts, but we won't really,
0:32:00 > 0:32:01"just in case we get in trouble."
0:32:01 > 0:32:05And then the other one was the translation of the Marriage Act
0:32:05 > 0:32:09- in English, the translation in Gaelic...- Mmm.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11..technically, because of the way it was worded,
0:32:11 > 0:32:14forbid marriage between a man and a woman.
0:32:14 > 0:32:18It said "marriage is between men or women,
0:32:18 > 0:32:20"but it's not between men and women."
0:32:20 > 0:32:22So it technically made all marriage illegal.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24They had to twist that one as well.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27So, now, why did a failure to sell mirrors
0:32:27 > 0:32:30massively improve modern media?
0:32:30 > 0:32:32Because you can't put a mirror on a selfie stick.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Is that it?
0:32:34 > 0:32:37Well, selfies, oddly enough, are rather close to it.
0:32:37 > 0:32:40- A medieval version of selfies, at least.- Medieval?
0:32:40 > 0:32:44We're going back to the mid-15th century.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46- People used to go on...? - Pilgrimages.
0:32:46 > 0:32:47Pilgrimages.
0:32:47 > 0:32:52And a pilgrimage was a visit to a holy place, where there would be...
0:32:52 > 0:32:54Sandwiches.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57There would be sandwiches, but what were you going to see?
0:32:57 > 0:33:00- Some kind of shrine or something. - Shrine, a shrine, relics.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02- Shrine. Oh, relics.- Relics. - I love a good relic.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Bones, material, bits of beard, bits of body,
0:33:05 > 0:33:08bits of the true cross, bits of all kinds of stuff.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11- Porn.- Yeah.- And they were so popular that you might go there
0:33:11 > 0:33:13and you couldn't even get close to it.
0:33:13 > 0:33:15So you'd hold up a selfie stick, as it were.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17It wouldn't be a selfie stick.
0:33:17 > 0:33:21It would be a box with a lid and the lid was a mirror.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24And the mirror would see the relic.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27And the beams and the rays would hit the mirror
0:33:27 > 0:33:30and go down into the box and you'd close the box and you'd go home
0:33:30 > 0:33:35and it contained the images, in your head at least, of the holy relics.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37- Did it, really?- Seriously, one of the best pieces
0:33:37 > 0:33:40- of medieval marketing I've ever heard.- Yeah.
0:33:40 > 0:33:44Yes. And this particular man was making mirrors.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47And he made these mirrors for Aachen,
0:33:47 > 0:33:50and Aachen had Mary's robe from the night Jesus was born.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52It had Jesus' swaddling clothes.
0:33:52 > 0:33:55It had the cloth in which John the Baptist's head was wrapped,
0:33:55 > 0:33:58after he was decapitated.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00The loincloth Jesus wore on the cross.
0:34:00 > 0:34:04So this person we're talking about made mirrors for pilgrims to
0:34:04 > 0:34:08go to Aachen, but unfortunately he didn't sell any.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11So he went back to his home town of Mainz,
0:34:11 > 0:34:17and in 1450 he produced something that changed the world for ever.
0:34:17 > 0:34:23A print, a stamp, a print version, Stephen, of what they'd see in...
0:34:23 > 0:34:26- Print... - And it was stamped.- Postcards.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28No, Sandi, that's kind of my idea. No.
0:34:28 > 0:34:29- Souvenir mugs. - No.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32He created printing. He created the printed word.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35- MAN IN AUDIENCE:- Johan Gutenberg. - Thank you, audience.
0:34:35 > 0:34:36APPLAUSE
0:34:39 > 0:34:42He's Johannes Gutenberg. In 1450, he created the Gutenberg Bible,
0:34:42 > 0:34:44and then other books he created.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46- Oh, yes. - It changed the world totally.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48But unfortunately, the mistake was he went to basically
0:34:48 > 0:34:52a kind of Dragons' Den, who funded him.
0:34:52 > 0:34:53He took a wine press,
0:34:53 > 0:34:57he converted the wine press into a letter press, to create books.
0:34:57 > 0:35:00And then he had a Duncan Bannatyne character, "I'm out. Out."
0:35:00 > 0:35:04- But his investors... - "Don't like it, never take off, I liked your mirrors better.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07- "No. I'm out."- Well, they, unfortunately they took all the money, the investors,
0:35:07 > 0:35:12the dragons took all the money. He died destitute in 1468. Very sad.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15The most influential figure of his age, in those terms.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18One of the first printers in Britain was called Wynkyn de Worde.
0:35:18 > 0:35:21- Yes, he was.- Don't you think that's so delightful?
0:35:21 > 0:35:23- There's a society, a Wynkyn society. - Wynkyn society, yeah.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26And then, of course, Caxton was the other great one.
0:35:26 > 0:35:27But, yeah.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29Before he invented the printing press,
0:35:29 > 0:35:31Gutenberg was a failed mirror-maker.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35And so we enter the mad world of mangled misconceptions that we
0:35:35 > 0:35:37call General Ignorance.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40And, given the show's theme,
0:35:40 > 0:35:43we've even spent a bit of money on a mathematical machine.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45Ooh!
0:35:45 > 0:35:47Yeah, you'll be impressed with that.
0:35:47 > 0:35:48Ooh.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51It looks like a happy face that's taken a lot of drugs.
0:35:51 > 0:35:52LAUGHTER
0:35:52 > 0:35:54- It does a bit, doesn't it?- Yeah.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57- It's lovely. - But what is it, Stephen?
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Well, I just want to know who first proved the theorem
0:35:59 > 0:36:01that this model demonstrates.
0:36:01 > 0:36:03- Pythagoras.- Pythagoras.
0:36:03 > 0:36:04KLAXON
0:36:04 > 0:36:06Oh!
0:36:09 > 0:36:11My grandfather, who was from Hungary,
0:36:11 > 0:36:14always pronounced it "Peeta-goras."
0:36:14 > 0:36:16"So that at school doing the mathematics,
0:36:16 > 0:36:18"are you studying Peeta-goras?"
0:36:18 > 0:36:21And I thought this man, Peter Goras, who was Peter?
0:36:21 > 0:36:25No, it wasn't Peter Goras who first proved it.
0:36:25 > 0:36:29- Oh.- What is it, the theorem that needs to be discussed here?
0:36:29 > 0:36:31A squared equals B squared plus C squared.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34- Yeah, yeah, it's...- The sum of the two, the squared of two smaller sides.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37The sum on the two squares is equal to the sum on the hypotenuse, exactly.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39Yeah, that big one should go into the other two.
0:36:39 > 0:36:42So you can see here, the yellow, that's the triangle.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44These are its two sides.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46And these are the squares of the two sides,
0:36:46 > 0:36:49they are literally geometrically expressed as squares,
0:36:49 > 0:36:52rather than just mathematically, as if that was, say, X,
0:36:52 > 0:36:56it's just not X squared, but it is literally the square, there.
0:36:56 > 0:36:58And there's Y squared.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01And it's supposedly equal to Z squared, which is
0:37:01 > 0:37:02the longest side, the hypotenuse.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05Because here's the right angle, here.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07These are not right angles, obviously.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10And there's that. How can we show they're equal?
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Well, there are all kinds of ways, but here's one way.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Drumroll, please.
0:37:15 > 0:37:16Oh, yes.
0:37:16 > 0:37:17THEY BANG THE DESKS
0:37:17 > 0:37:19All right, let's go.
0:37:21 > 0:37:22Ooh.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25Oh, that's very clever.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27There it goes, pouring into the first square.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29- Wow!- Expensive. - Is it going to fill it up?
0:37:29 > 0:37:31- Wow.- Shut the front door!
0:37:31 > 0:37:34- Oh, Well, it definitely equals X squared.- Yes.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36Does it equal Y squared as well?
0:37:36 > 0:37:37I need to go to the toilet.
0:37:37 > 0:37:38LAUGHTER
0:37:39 > 0:37:42There's Y squared, it's filling up, it's filling up,
0:37:42 > 0:37:44it's filling up, it's full. And there it is.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46Hurray!
0:37:46 > 0:37:47APPLAUSE
0:37:49 > 0:37:50Isn't that satisfactory?
0:37:52 > 0:37:54Highly satisfactory.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56It's the first theorem most people learn at school.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59It's Pythagoras's theorem by name,
0:37:59 > 0:38:03but it wasn't, it was used many, many years before him - people used
0:38:03 > 0:38:07it to build buildings and Euclid demonstrated it before him.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09But we give it the name of Pythagoras.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Who is Euclid, then? He was even before?
0:38:11 > 0:38:13- He's the father of mathematics. - Euclid?
0:38:13 > 0:38:15- Oh, was he?- Yeah.- Yeah. - Oh, Euclid, yes.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Before him, nothing.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20The greatest. Yeah, well done to Euclid, we love Euclid.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23So, let's take this model away. Let's hear it for him.
0:38:23 > 0:38:24APPLAUSE
0:38:29 > 0:38:33Now, by the end of Elizabeth I's reign, there was
0:38:33 > 0:38:35a really extraordinary number of English dukes.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38Five points for every one you can name.
0:38:38 > 0:38:40- OK.- Norfolk.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43KLAXON
0:38:44 > 0:38:46- Cambridge.- Cambridge?
0:38:46 > 0:38:49KLAXON
0:38:49 > 0:38:51Erm, Hazzard. Dukes Of Hazzard.
0:38:51 > 0:38:52Hazzard?
0:38:52 > 0:38:54KLAXON
0:38:54 > 0:38:56APPLAUSE
0:38:59 > 0:39:01Is it some devilish trick and there aren't any at all?
0:39:01 > 0:39:03I said it was an extraordinary number.
0:39:03 > 0:39:07- The extraordinary number is none, exactly.- Ah! Well done.
0:39:07 > 0:39:08No dukes.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Can't believe I fell for that one.
0:39:13 > 0:39:16By the end of her reign, there were certainly no royal dukes
0:39:16 > 0:39:21because royal dukes are the issue of the monarch, essentially, and there
0:39:21 > 0:39:25weren't any because Queen Elizabeth was a virgin queen and didn't marry.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28And there were also no other dukes.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31Are dukes always the children of the queen or king?
0:39:31 > 0:39:33Royal dukes are, but other dukes aren't.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36We have dukes of Marlborough, dukes of Buccleuch and so on.
0:39:36 > 0:39:38And they were always into music
0:39:38 > 0:39:41and that's where you get the duke box, which is...?
0:39:42 > 0:39:45- I think you've understood it 100%. - Yep.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50There weren't very many peers by the time Queen Elizabeth died.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52There was one marquess, 18 earls and 37...
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Wigan Pier.
0:39:54 > 0:39:57That hadn't been built yet, so even that didn't exist.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59I know, it was a shocking thing, but, yeah.
0:39:59 > 0:40:03The best peerage joke connected to Queen Elizabeth I
0:40:03 > 0:40:06was told by John Aubrey, whose diaries are fantastic.
0:40:06 > 0:40:07This involves the Earl of Oxford,
0:40:07 > 0:40:10who some people think wrote the plays of Shakespeare.
0:40:10 > 0:40:11He didn't.
0:40:13 > 0:40:17He wrote this - "this Earl of Oxford, making his low obeisance to
0:40:17 > 0:40:22"Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a fart, at which he was
0:40:22 > 0:40:25"so abashed and ashamed that he went to travel seven years.
0:40:28 > 0:40:32"On his return, the queen welcomed him home and said,
0:40:32 > 0:40:35"'My Lord, I had forgot the fart.'"
0:40:37 > 0:40:39Well, there you are. Yeah, good.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42In the early 17th century, there were no dukes in England at all.
0:40:42 > 0:40:46And that is very nearly all we have time for. However, we still
0:40:46 > 0:40:51have to see if the QI audience has solved the sweet-jar challenge.
0:40:51 > 0:40:55Because what we wanted to do was to take their average.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59The idea is that we would arrive at the wisdom of crowds.
0:40:59 > 0:41:03It was a man called Francis Galton who first came up with that phrase.
0:41:03 > 0:41:07He went to a fair where there was weighing the pig
0:41:07 > 0:41:09and no-one individually got it right,
0:41:09 > 0:41:12but he noticed that if you added up all the guesses
0:41:12 > 0:41:17- and divided them to get the average it was exactly on the weight.- Wow.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20We're hoping we'll get that here. So, reveal yourselves.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23What have you come up with?
0:41:23 > 0:41:241,500.
0:41:24 > 0:41:266,024,000.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29I've put 1,000 underneath,
0:41:29 > 0:41:32though, cos I realised I'd really miscalculated when I saw Sandi's.
0:41:32 > 0:41:37- Right.- So 1,000 is my answer.
0:41:37 > 0:41:40- 1,966. 12.- Yeah, just in case.
0:41:40 > 0:41:42Just in case what?
0:41:42 > 0:41:45Just in case what I see isn't what it appears to be.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47Or...
0:41:47 > 0:41:49Ah, clever!
0:41:49 > 0:41:51Clever, clever, clever.
0:41:51 > 0:41:58OK, so, the average of the audience's guess is 2,412.
0:41:58 > 0:42:05The actual number of Smarties in that jar is 3,890.
0:42:05 > 0:42:09So, the audience are the closest. Congratulations.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11APPLAUSE
0:42:11 > 0:42:13And that concerns the wisdom of crowds.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17So, the time has come to tally up the scores.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19Oh, my actual, oh, my actual.
0:42:19 > 0:42:23So, in first place, with a magnificent two points,
0:42:23 > 0:42:24it's Aisling Bea!
0:42:24 > 0:42:25Oh!
0:42:25 > 0:42:27APPLAUSE
0:42:29 > 0:42:34And with an earth-shattering zero, it's Sandi Toksvig.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36APPLAUSE
0:42:38 > 0:42:41A more than respectable minus six, Susan Calman.
0:42:41 > 0:42:42APPLAUSE
0:42:46 > 0:42:50And on his terms, really quite handsome, minus 43,
0:42:50 > 0:42:51Alan Davies.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53APPLAUSE
0:42:58 > 0:43:02So, it's goodnight from Susan, Sandi, Aisling, Alan and me.
0:43:02 > 0:43:06And I'll leave you with this dark observation from Joseph Stalin.
0:43:06 > 0:43:08My favourite dictator.
0:43:08 > 0:43:12"The people who cast the votes decide nothing.
0:43:12 > 0:43:16"The people who count the votes decide everything." Goodnight.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE