0:00:22 > 0:00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Hey!
0:00:30 > 0:00:32How nice!
0:00:33 > 0:00:35How lovely.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Good evening.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42And welcome to QI, for a show all about numbers.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Tonight, we will cross the divide and go forth and multiply,
0:00:45 > 0:00:47and in addition, we will subtract lots of points from Alan.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49So... LAUGHTER
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Let's meet our four fine figures. The rational Colin Lane...
0:00:52 > 0:00:56- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Thank you.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57..the complex Sarah Millican...
0:00:57 > 0:00:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:01 > 0:01:04..the imaginary Noel Fielding...
0:01:04 > 0:01:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:08 > 0:01:11..and the extremely random Alan Davies.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:17 > 0:01:19So, if they would like to grab my attention,
0:01:19 > 0:01:21they can count on their buzzers and Colin goes...
0:01:21 > 0:01:25# One, two, three, four, five. #
0:01:25 > 0:01:26Sarah goes...
0:01:26 > 0:01:27# Five, four, three, two, one. #
0:01:27 > 0:01:29- That's pretty good. - Ah, that's very good. Noel goes...
0:01:29 > 0:01:32# Two, four, six, eight. #
0:01:32 > 0:01:34And Alan goes...
0:01:34 > 0:01:36# ABC, ABC. #
0:01:36 > 0:01:37LAUGHTER
0:01:40 > 0:01:42So, here is question one.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Which is the loneliest number?
0:01:45 > 0:01:46# Three, four, five. #
0:01:46 > 0:01:47- Yes?- One?
0:01:47 > 0:01:49No.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51It's the obvious one, but it's not that one.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54So, maybe two is the loneliest number,
0:01:54 > 0:01:57because it's next to the one that gets talked about the most.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59And do you know what?
0:01:59 > 0:02:01I would make that entirely a correct answer
0:02:01 > 0:02:04if it wasn't so horribly wrong. No.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06- ALAN:- Three is the magic number. - Three is the magic number.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Well, I've never tried, but so they say.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11LAUGHTER
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- NOEL:- Is it 13, cos it's quite unlucky,
0:02:14 > 0:02:16so the other numbers don't want to go near it?
0:02:16 > 0:02:18LAUGHTER
0:02:18 > 0:02:20- OK, so it is an unpopular number.- Nought.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- No, it's quite a high number. So, there's a mathematician...- 100.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- You're going in the right direction. NOEL:- And 14.- 200.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28- No, we're not going to play this higher or lower.- 101.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30- 79.- 102, 103, 104...110.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33- Yes!- 110?- It's 110.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35- 110.- Alan gets the point.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:38 > 0:02:40So, now...
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Now, I don't speak now for the rest of the evening.
0:02:43 > 0:02:44Yep, that's it.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46So, there's a mathematician called Alex Bellos
0:02:46 > 0:02:48and he wanted to find the world's favourite number.
0:02:48 > 0:02:53So, he asked a lot of people and 30,023 people responded.
0:02:53 > 0:02:59And the lowest whole number that nobody chose was 110.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03- It was everybody's least favourite number. AUDIENCE:- Aw.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06So, QI has adopted it as our favourite number.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07- Yay!- Yes.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09APPLAUSE
0:03:11 > 0:03:15That was a very, very lukewarm round of applause.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16You prefer number seven, don't you?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19CHEERING
0:03:19 > 0:03:21OK, well, why might you prefer number seven?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23That's a really interesting thing.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24- NOEL:- Is it the lucky number?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26- It's the world's favourite number.- Oh.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30That is the one that Alex Bellos discovered most people preferred.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32And, in fact, there was a National Lottery draw
0:03:32 > 0:03:34which rather bore this out.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35The 23rd of March 2016,
0:03:35 > 0:03:38five of the six numbers were multiples of seven, OK?
0:03:38 > 0:03:40So, there was 7, 14, 21, 35, and 42,
0:03:40 > 0:03:42and the other one was 41
0:03:42 > 0:03:44and so many people chose them,
0:03:44 > 0:03:47you got more money from matching four numbers
0:03:47 > 0:03:49than you did from matching five.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53So, four numbers you got £51 and five right you got £15.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55When you were talking about a threesome,
0:03:55 > 0:03:57I was trying to work out if I've had a sevensome.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58A sevensome?
0:03:58 > 0:03:59I think I have.
0:04:01 > 0:04:02I haven't.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I have.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08If you can count your pets then I probably have.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Doesn't count if they're sleeping on the bed at the time,
0:04:13 > 0:04:15that doesn't count.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Anyway, moving on. Now, have a look at these different numbers.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20So, number one, anybody know what that one is
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- right there in the middle? COLIN:- Er...
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- The hieroglyph. - I'm not good on hieroglyphics.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26Pass.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29So, what were you saying, Colin? You were making a noise.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- You were just making the noise? - I was just making a noise.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- What was the noise? - Err.- Yeah. So, that's...
0:04:33 > 0:04:38- Weirdly, it's quite close to the correct answer.- Is it?- Yes.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39It's a man holding his hands up,
0:04:39 > 0:04:43and he's most likely called either Huh, or Huuh,
0:04:43 > 0:04:45or huh-huh-huh-huuuh.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47The thing is, there are no vowels in hieroglyphs
0:04:47 > 0:04:48and we don't know how it's pronounced,
0:04:48 > 0:04:51but it's going to be some kind of vowely-H sound,
0:04:51 > 0:04:53and he represents a million for the Egyptians.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- Oh.- I think he's just going like, "I've no idea how many."
0:04:58 > 0:04:59I think he's lost his keys.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Someone went, "Do you know where your keys are?"
0:05:01 > 0:05:02And he went, "I don't know."
0:05:02 > 0:05:04They're on your elbows, mate.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10He basically represents infinity because to the Egyptians
0:05:10 > 0:05:13a million is a very large, undefined number.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16A bit like the way we use myriad so myriad actually means 10,000
0:05:16 > 0:05:17but that isn't how we use it.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20We use it as a symbol for something huge.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23The Egyptians also had a symbol for 10,000 but it's just that.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26A bent finger is 10,000 in...
0:05:26 > 0:05:29So, if I ever go to you, "You owe me..."
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- COLIN:- So, if you say something in parentheses...- Oh.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35..then you also owe me 40,000.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- Yes.- Yes.- Or you're doing shadow rabbits.- Yes!
0:05:41 > 0:05:44- Either way, it's a fun evening ahead.- Yeah.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Let's have a look at the other ones that we've got,
0:05:46 > 0:05:48other than our Egyptian.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51So, the eye, anybody know what the eye is, another pictogram?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Well, because I'm from Australia,
0:05:53 > 0:05:56is it just a weird kind of Sydney Harbour Bridge, perhaps?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- Oh, I like that.- It could be.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- Yes.- I'll go for five.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01No, it's four, three.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- -1.- Hmm, hmm, hmm.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- Two.- Zero.- Yeah!- Zero?- Zero!
0:06:05 > 0:06:06- Zero, very good. NOEL:- Zero?
0:06:06 > 0:06:08It looks like I'm working you today.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13It's the Mayan number zero.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Why didn't they just write zero, the Mayans?
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Oh, because they were very busy doing a lot of clever things
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- for us to find later.- Oh.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24They had the concept of zero by about 30 BC,
0:06:24 > 0:06:26at which time the Romans and the Greeks didn't bother with it.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- Couldn't be arsed.- They didn't have a number zero.- Why's it eye shaped?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32It looks like the eye's got prison bars over it.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Like they've outlawed looking.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40No, the Greeks didn't bother with it, cos maths was more geometry for them,
0:06:40 > 0:06:42so the zero didn't make any sense.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46In fact, we don't get the zero in Europe until about the 13th century.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Before that, couldn't be arsed.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Let's have another look. OK, number three there.
0:06:53 > 0:06:59Two to the power of 74,207,281 minus one.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Is it going to be the highest prime number or something?
0:07:01 > 0:07:04It is. The largest prime number. You are on fire tonight.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:09 > 0:07:10It's a Mersenne prime.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12It is the largest one they've ever discovered
0:07:12 > 0:07:14and it was discovered, obviously, by a computer.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Dr Curtis Cooper at the University of Central Missouri
0:07:17 > 0:07:20set the computer off and then there was a glitch and an e-mail saying,
0:07:20 > 0:07:23"We found it! We found it!" went unnoticed for months
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- until they discovered it by accident.- It went into spam?
0:07:26 > 0:07:27It went into spam, yes!
0:07:30 > 0:07:35It contains 228,388,618 digits in total.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39It's basically 2x2x2 74 million times...
0:07:39 > 0:07:41- Wow.- ..minus one.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43That's my lucky number.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47But it's impossible to believe these things, isn't it,
0:07:47 > 0:07:50that it's not divisible by anything at all?
0:07:50 > 0:07:52- That's... - That's absolutely mind-blowing.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- Mind-blowing, isn't it, that that's a prime number?- Yeah.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59So, the next one, number four there, eight billion and 85.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Any thoughts what that might be?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- That's a huge number, isn't it? - Bacteria on your person?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Oh, gross me out.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07LAUGHTER
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Bacteria within your person?
0:08:09 > 0:08:10SANDI AND SARAH GROAN
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Bacteria trying to get out of your person.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I've honestly never felt so filthy.
0:08:18 > 0:08:23So, if you were to write out all the numbers from one to ten billion
0:08:23 > 0:08:27in words and organise them into alphabetical order,
0:08:27 > 0:08:30this is the very first one that would be an odd number.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34And that is because eight is the very first number alphabetically.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35It begins with E.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Also, all the numbers beginning with eight
0:08:38 > 0:08:40have to come before the next number, which would be 11.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43So, it goes eight, eight billion, eight billion and eight,
0:08:43 > 0:08:47eight billion and 18, eight billion and 80, eight billion and 88,
0:08:47 > 0:08:49eight billion and 85,
0:08:49 > 0:08:53so, it's the very first one that is an odd number.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55OK, would it be a problem if you just explained that again?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Did you wish to take the news with you to Australia?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Look what I brought back from England,
0:09:04 > 0:09:08this amazing piece of information, that I still don't understand.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12- NOEL:- I'm trying to work out a face that I can do that would be
0:09:12 > 0:09:14as if I did understand that.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Were you good at maths at school, Noel?
0:09:20 > 0:09:22- No, terrible. - Why do you think that is?
0:09:22 > 0:09:23Cos I wasn't good at it either.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24It didn't make sense to me.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27You know that whole thing, a minus and a minus is a plus,
0:09:27 > 0:09:28you know this is a thing?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30So I used to say, "I don't have four sheep
0:09:30 > 0:09:32"and you DON'T give me four sheep,
0:09:32 > 0:09:34"how is it I've got eight sheep suddenly running around?"
0:09:38 > 0:09:42APPLAUSE
0:09:43 > 0:09:45How have you got eight sheep
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- and who on earth put them into alphabetical order?- Yes!
0:09:48 > 0:09:50LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
0:09:50 > 0:09:52What about you, Colin? Did you do well at school?
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- Well, I was bullied at school. - Oh!- Yes.- Everybody.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56- AUDIENCE:- Aww.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58A kid stole my lunch and gave me a wedgie
0:09:58 > 0:10:01and then I decided to give up teaching, so...
0:10:03 > 0:10:05APPLAUSE
0:10:07 > 0:10:09I like that. My very last school report,
0:10:09 > 0:10:11you're supposed to get a nice one at the end
0:10:11 > 0:10:13to send you off into the world and it just said,
0:10:13 > 0:10:15"Sandra has a tendency to overdramatise."
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Let's have a look back at the ones we have left in our number cloud.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24142,857.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28If I tell you it's a cyclic number, does that mean anything to you?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- No, is it to do with bicycles? - Oh, I like that.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34"How many bicycles in Paris?" that kind of thing.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35No. So, if you take this number
0:10:35 > 0:10:39and you multiply it by any number between one and six,
0:10:39 > 0:10:42the answer will always be an anagram of the original number.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- AUDIENCE:- Ooh.- So, it will just keep all those numbers.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Look there, times two, times three, times four.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48- Good noise!- Yeah.- "Ooh.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52"We don't understand, but we're going to make a noise."
0:10:52 > 0:10:55This is the beginnings of subjugation.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58This number is an anagram of the other numbers.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01"Ooh, numbers."
0:11:01 > 0:11:02When you get to the magic number seven,
0:11:02 > 0:11:05you can see it doesn't work any more. It only works from one to six.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07- Extraordinary. - Let's have a look at the number 43.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Anybody know about the number 43?
0:11:09 > 0:11:12What I say my age is.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16- Just joking. - Are you older or younger?
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- I'm older, yes.- See, I was being polite.- Yes, thank you.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Boys don't mind about their age, do they?
0:11:23 > 0:11:26- Do boys mind about their age? - They pretend that they...
0:11:26 > 0:11:28- You're shaking your head. - I don't mind about my age.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31- I don't mind about mine. - I'm 38 and proud.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37- Nothing wrong with that. - I'd no idea. A year older than me.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40LAUGHTER
0:11:40 > 0:11:42The 43 goes to Friern Barnet.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- Does it?- Yep.- It's a bus?- It's a bus.- To you it's a bus number.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48It's a Frobenius number. I'm not helping, am I?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- No.- They didn't even give you an "Ooh".
0:11:52 > 0:11:55I'm going to explain it in terms of McDonald's, OK?
0:11:55 > 0:11:58So, this is a mathematical problem posed by a German
0:11:58 > 0:12:01called Ferdinand Frobenius in the early 20th century.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Let's say it's Chicken McNuggets.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07They are only sold in multiples of six, nine and 20.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12And 43 is the largest number of McNuggets it's impossible to buy.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17You could get 41, because you could have 20 and nine and six and six.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20You could have 42 because you could have four lots of nine and a six.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23You could have 44, because you could have four lots of six and a 20.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27You cannot buy 43 McNuggets.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32You'd have to throw some away.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Not even if you know Ronald McDonald?
0:12:34 > 0:12:37No.
0:12:37 > 0:12:42Now for question number two which is aptly about number twos.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44What can we do about the international poo shortage?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- # Three, two, one. # - Yes, Sarah.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- We could all get IBS.- Oh.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52I hadn't even thought of that.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- That man in the picture's very pleased with his.- Yeah.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59He's going to need some cream on after that, I reckon.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Too much or too little poo?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Too little.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- Is it animal as opposed to human, though?- Yes, it is.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08- So, why might that be a problem? - Fertilisation.- Farmers.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10- It is fertilisation, it is.- Yeah.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12- It isn't so much farmers but it is fertilisation.- Right.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15So, the death of lots of the Earth's large animals,
0:13:15 > 0:13:17it's had a knock-on effect on the smaller species
0:13:17 > 0:13:20due to a worldwide lack of excrement
0:13:20 > 0:13:23and it is really extraordinary because the natural fertilisation
0:13:23 > 0:13:26which you would find on land with animal faeces,
0:13:26 > 0:13:29it is dropped to 8% of what it was at the end of the last ice age.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- They're just not... COLIN:- So, it's just animal number twos?
0:13:32 > 0:13:36- Yeah.- So we can't do our bit? We... - Well, I don't...
0:13:36 > 0:13:38No.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40It's kind of you to offer but I don't know about Australia
0:13:40 > 0:13:42but they have laws here and...
0:13:43 > 0:13:46APPLAUSE
0:13:48 > 0:13:51And I thought you were going to be different.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Oh, I am different but you haven't looked closely enough.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59So, we need animal poo and in the oceans it's even worse.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02So, faecal nutrients in the ocean are estimated at only 5%
0:14:02 > 0:14:03of what they were historically.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06If you think there's been a decline in the number of whales
0:14:06 > 0:14:08and it was always thought that would cause the number of krill
0:14:08 > 0:14:09to increase because, of course,
0:14:09 > 0:14:11that krill is the very thing that they eat,
0:14:11 > 0:14:14that hasn't materialised because the poo from the whales
0:14:14 > 0:14:16that fertilises the plants that the krill eats
0:14:16 > 0:14:19is no longer there in the quantities that it was.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22And it's called trophic cascade, it's the process by which
0:14:22 > 0:14:24a top predator helps the rest of the ecosystem.
0:14:24 > 0:14:2792% less poo than there was at the end of the ice age?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Yeah, on the land.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31- And 95% in the ocean.- Wow.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Now, here's a really crap link.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40I'm making some of this up as I go along.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42What do these things have in common?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44- So, we've got some die.- Die.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Clearly an English church
0:14:46 > 0:14:48cos there's something half-timbered about it.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50- A lava lamp, some neon and... - Eminem.- ..Eminem.- Eminem.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52So, what have they got in common?
0:14:52 > 0:14:55It's the odd one out. It is an odd one out round?
0:14:56 > 0:14:58It's quite a random thing.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Is it anything to do with where they originated or something like that?
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- No, they use... - Did you say the word random?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05- Is it to do with random. - Is it because they're random?
0:15:05 > 0:15:08They're all ways of generating random numbers.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09So the easiest one is the tossing of the dice,
0:15:09 > 0:15:13that's probably one of the oldest ways of creating random numbers.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15People have been doing it forever.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Assuming the dice is not loaded in any way
0:15:17 > 0:15:19then you will get a random number.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Computers can't actually generate random numbers,
0:15:21 > 0:15:24they do everything by a pattern. It's sort of a pseudorandom thing.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Say you used a computer to pick lottery numbers,
0:15:26 > 0:15:28if you knew the pattern, you'd be able to cheat.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29They don't actually do it.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31But you need tables of random numbers,
0:15:31 > 0:15:32they're very useful in statistics
0:15:32 > 0:15:34but you can't roll tens of thousands of dice,
0:15:34 > 0:15:36that would be ridiculous.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38The very first table which was in 1927 was created by taking
0:15:38 > 0:15:40the middle digits from the area measurements
0:15:40 > 0:15:44of 41,600 English churches.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Then there was a company called Lavarand in 1996
0:15:47 > 0:15:50and they took pictures of lava lamps
0:15:50 > 0:15:52and they extracted the data from those photos
0:15:52 > 0:15:54and they used that to generate random numbers.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56So all the things that we were looking at
0:15:56 > 0:15:58were to do with the generation of random numbers.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01And the rapper, there was a guy at Florida State University,
0:16:01 > 0:16:02George Marsaglia,
0:16:02 > 0:16:07and he created a list of 4.8 billion randomly produced noughts and ones
0:16:07 > 0:16:10by taking a number of rap songs and turning them into digital files.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14So, these are all... I know. I mean, that he's got the time.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15Yes.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Why isn't the dice just enough for these people?
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Presumably because you need millions of numbers
0:16:19 > 0:16:22rather than just, "Ooh, it's a six."
0:16:23 > 0:16:27- It's not all about board games, I've just realised.- No.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29In the past, they used to use the random selection
0:16:29 > 0:16:31as a way of making political appointments.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33They used to use something called sortition and what it is,
0:16:33 > 0:16:35it's random selection, which I quite like.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38People have just suggested it for the House of Lords in this country.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40It might be you or it might be a member of the audience
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- or it might be you.- That's the old Plato thing, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47Chosen against his will because he was the best candidate.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- Yeah.- The philosopher king.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Here it would be probably David Beckham or someone.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56I suppose we use it a bit, we use it for jury service, don't we?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58And the Venetians, for years and years and years,
0:16:58 > 0:17:00they used drawing of lots to select the Doge.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02There were nine stages of drawing lots,
0:17:02 > 0:17:07fantastically complicated system but carried on for about 500 years
0:17:07 > 0:17:11and it was semi-random but the idea was that it helped people through
0:17:11 > 0:17:12who are not just the people with money
0:17:12 > 0:17:15or people who were good at demagoguery or that kind of thing.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19So, anyway, let's go forth and multiply with our fourth question.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22How did the Danish government convince its citizens to multiply?
0:17:22 > 0:17:25This is one of my Randy Scandies.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27You mean...
0:17:27 > 0:17:29- Actually?- I do mean that.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Was it financial incentives?
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- There were incentives.- We all need incentives anyway, don't we?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36What, to procreate?
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Just, you know, the bit before that, as well.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Right. I'm fine, but OK.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Incentivise me.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48I can narrow it down. It's actually a place called Thisted,
0:17:48 > 0:17:51which is in Jutland, so the mainland, the bit that sticks out from Germany.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54What happened? 2015, the local authorities were going to close down
0:17:54 > 0:17:56the local school and everybody
0:17:56 > 0:18:00was very upset in the local area so they struck a deal that the people
0:18:00 > 0:18:04would procreate as much as possible if they kept the school
0:18:04 > 0:18:06and the leisure facilities open.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10Nothing says "I'm bringing sexy back" like a council memo.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Did they all do it? Did they all have to have kids?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Well, as many as possible. They were encouraged to have kids.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18I have to say, it's a lovely place, Thisted.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22Not a lot to do. Number three on their own website of things to do
0:18:22 > 0:18:25in the area is visit the candle shop.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Sexy candles for around the bath.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34There's been lots of times before, Britain has had its own panics
0:18:34 > 0:18:37about falling populations because of the war and contraception and so on.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39So, in 1921, the Daily Express
0:18:39 > 0:18:43ran a competition to find Britain's largest family.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47The News of the World offered a free tea tray
0:18:47 > 0:18:51to any mother who gave birth to her tenth child.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Don't want your bloody tea tray, I'll take your head off with it.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59And the French still give medals for having large families.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02That's still a thing. The Medaille de la Famille Francaise.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04How many kids for bronze? What do you reckon?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07- Six.- Four to five. Silver, six to seven.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Gold, eight plus.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12I thought you said 45, for a second there.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16There is so much wrong with that picture, I can't begin.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- Go on.- Why are they creating a human bench for their two children?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- That is worrying.- Have they glued their heads together?
0:19:23 > 0:19:28Maybe they're ventriloquists and that's how they hold their toy.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31Just used to holding people like that.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37Now, how many great nights out can you have in a single week in Wales?
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- Seven.- Seven.- It's not seven.
0:19:42 > 0:19:43- Six.- Eight.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Eight. The Welsh word for a week "wythnos"
0:19:45 > 0:19:47translates as eight nights.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49If you start counting a week on a Sunday night
0:19:49 > 0:19:51and you finish on a Sunday night, which is how they used to do it,
0:19:51 > 0:19:55- that's eight nights. - But then that's wrong.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57- Did nobody put them straight? - It's wrong to us now.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I mean, lots of things have changed.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01So, in old English, the day used to begin at sunset
0:20:01 > 0:20:03so what was Wednesday night to an Anglo-Saxon
0:20:03 > 0:20:06would be Tuesday night to us now, so that's changed.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08And in some Muslim countries, for example,
0:20:08 > 0:20:11where Friday is the holy day, you have a Friday, Saturday weekend,
0:20:11 > 0:20:13the working week then starts on a Sunday.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Where can you get your hair done on a Sunday three in the afternoon?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21That's a very good point.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24And whose diary is that?
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Because I'm having lunch with them.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- They can drive, that's nice.- I know.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Well, I think if they had any manners,
0:20:31 > 0:20:35- they'd get their hair done before they had lunch with you.- Yes.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Or it means that two days after lunch with Sandi,
0:20:37 > 0:20:39you better get your hair done.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42- NOEL:- She's a messy eater.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Anybody know what half of a fortnight is?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Imagine Jane Austen, for example. Jane Austen?
0:20:50 > 0:20:52I'm not familiar with Jane Austen.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53It's a sennight.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55There's a lovely bit in Pride And Prejudice
0:20:55 > 0:20:58where Mr Collins says he will trespass on your hospitality
0:20:58 > 0:21:02from Monday, November 18th to the Saturday sennight following.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Do people still talk like that?
0:21:04 > 0:21:06We should bring those things back, don't you think?
0:21:06 > 0:21:07Mind you, wouldn't your heart fill with horror
0:21:07 > 0:21:10if somebody's coming to stay for a sennight?
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- How long is that again? - Seven nights.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15How long are you staying for?
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I'm staying four nights which, traditionally,
0:21:21 > 0:21:24it should only be three nights, something about fish or something?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- You shouldn't stay... - It's Dickens, I think.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28He said that fish and overnight guests are exactly the same,
0:21:28 > 0:21:30- they both go off after three days. - Yes.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Originally he was referring to Hans Christian Andersen,
0:21:33 > 0:21:34who apparently was staying with him
0:21:34 > 0:21:36and was a truly terrible house guest.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38What if you put your guest in the fridge?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Oh!
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Or freezer, even.- Yes, that's... - Could last three months, then,
0:21:43 > 0:21:45or, you know, ten years, like we all do.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Eight nights on the town in Wales makes for a long, long week.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Now, here's something nice.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56Cake. You've each got a cake and a knife.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58And here is the challenge.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02I want you to cut two pieces of exactly equal size.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Now, you can use three cuts to do it, but in such a way
0:22:05 > 0:22:08that the cake is still moist for you to have some more tomorrow.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11What would be the best way of cutting it?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Could the cake stay moist in my tummy?
0:22:13 > 0:22:16- Because then you just half it. - Then you could just half it. No.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18So, the idea is that there is cake for tomorrow.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21So, we're going to start with Alan and Colin first.
0:22:21 > 0:22:26- What is your...?- Well, my theory is that we cut through the middle.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- OK.- This is going to be difficult, but we're going to do it.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33- Right.- And then, we take the top off.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35- OK.- Yes.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38And we eat the bottom bit.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40You're going to eat the whole of the bottom bit?
0:22:40 > 0:22:43But that's quite a large piece of cake, isn't it?
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Yeah, yeah.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47We're two men in our 30s, we love cake.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Take the top of. Colin will remove the bottom of the cake.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Then put the top back down again.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01That's moist for tomorrow and then we cut this... place that there,
0:23:01 > 0:23:04we cut completely in half, like that.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07- Two equal pieces. - Wow, that's very good.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09APPLAUSE
0:23:14 > 0:23:18Do you think anybody who likes the filling is going to be mildly disappointed?
0:23:20 > 0:23:21So, let's go over to...
0:23:21 > 0:23:23- I've got an idea. - No, do it with the cake!
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- I'm just going to draw it first. - Oh, fine.- Is that OK?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28- Yes, darling, you do what you like.- Yeah.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30LAUGHTER
0:23:30 > 0:23:35What if we cut it like, in a way that we could...back together?
0:23:35 > 0:23:38We cut like a bit out of here and a bit out of here
0:23:38 > 0:23:39and then just smush...
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Yeah, just...
0:23:41 > 0:23:43That would be better, wouldn't it?
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- Do you want to do it?- That was a shambles, what they did.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- The smushing doesn't sound good. - I reckon we have to do this first.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52- Do you think?- Yeah, go on. - COLIN:- That's good.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54- AUDIENCE:- Oh!- NOEL:- No?
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Shush now. Shush, shush, shush now.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58The audience are trying to be helpful, but are not.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01- Well, they are. They are being helpful.- OK. Go for it, Sarah.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03OK. So...
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- Oh, it's tough.- Delicious is what you're looking for.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08LAUGHTER
0:24:08 > 0:24:10- And then, that. - You've just drawn Pac-Man.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11That doesn't make any sense.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13So, take out your pieces.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16These are our pieces.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Noel, were you calling US a shambles?
0:24:21 > 0:24:25Is that what you were saying? There you go.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27APPLAUSE
0:24:32 > 0:24:35So, there is a mathematical way of doing it.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38There was a man called Francis Galton. An extraordinary fellow.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41He was an explorer and he was the very first person to come up with the idea
0:24:41 > 0:24:44of a weather map and he was also slightly obsessed with the idea
0:24:44 > 0:24:47of sharing a Christmas cake with his wife in an even manner.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50So, what he did was he wrote a long treaties on the subject,
0:24:50 > 0:24:52which he sent to Nature magazine.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54You were absolutely heading in the right direction.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57What you do is you cut it right down the middle like this
0:24:57 > 0:24:59and then you pull out the entire centre piece.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02- Ah, that was it! - That's only two cuts though.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Wait, I haven't finished. You pull out the whole thing like this
0:25:05 > 0:25:09and then you cut that one in half, so then you have two pieces.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- We were nearly there. - You were very nearly there.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14You have two pieces of cake like that and then you simply push
0:25:14 > 0:25:16the cake back together.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Looks very similar to ours.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- Are you writing that down now, Noel? - Yeah, I am.- Yeah.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29So, only if there's two people though. I mean, what if...?
0:25:29 > 0:25:32- There's usually 19.- Then usually the whole cake gets eaten, I think.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34It's not really a problem.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37The same with two with me, to be honest.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40There's actually a branch of mathematics called fair cake-cutting
0:25:40 > 0:25:43which is about optimising the division of resources.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45In Chinese economics, they talk about cake theory
0:25:45 > 0:25:48and it's slightly different because the debate is whether
0:25:48 > 0:25:51it's more important to divide the cake fairly
0:25:51 > 0:25:53or to bake a bigger cake.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59So, that's how you can halve your cake and eat it.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02But now to a question about wrong numbers.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06Where's the worst place in the world for nuisance calls?
0:26:06 > 0:26:09LAUGHTER
0:26:09 > 0:26:11That is a great picture.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Do you not think you thought more carefully about making
0:26:13 > 0:26:16a phone call when you had to dial it one number at a time?
0:26:16 > 0:26:19If you had to dial someone who had lots of eights and nines in it,
0:26:19 > 0:26:21- sometimes you wouldn't bother. - You just couldn't be arsed.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24I actually did that, I bought a retro phone
0:26:24 > 0:26:26- because I liked the look of it. - Yeah.- And after about a week,
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- I went, "Oh, this is killing me." - Yeah.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31It's so boring.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35When I was a child, we had a holiday home in the country in Denmark
0:26:35 > 0:26:37- and there were so few...- Ooh!- Yes.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41There were so few telephones that our number was seven.
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Really?
0:26:46 > 0:26:48A woman used to put the calls through and then listen in
0:26:48 > 0:26:50and you knew that.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52You could hear her breathing.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55So did you ever get people ringing up and then just go,
0:26:55 > 0:26:57"I think you've got the wrong number"?
0:26:57 > 0:27:00- Yes. "You want number nine." - "I wanted six."- Yes.- "I wanted six."
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Easily done.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Worst place in the world for nuisance calls.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05- What do you reckon? - I know what that call is,
0:27:05 > 0:27:07someone's saying there's a poo shortage,
0:27:07 > 0:27:11you haven't got anything in your nappy, have you?
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- COLIN:- I can help out. Constantly.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14Just working on it now.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Wouldn't it be the country with the most people in?
0:27:16 > 0:27:20No, ironically, the place with the fewest telephones for a short while.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23So, it's the Pacific island of Niue.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25It looks fab, doesn't it?
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Niue. So, in the early '90s, people were constantly woken up
0:27:28 > 0:27:32by heavy breathers because the country was the home of an extremely
0:27:32 > 0:27:36lucrative sex line business and people often used
0:27:36 > 0:27:38to dial the wrong number.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42There were only 387 telephones on the island and the phone numbers
0:27:42 > 0:27:45only had four digits so people were often misdialling.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48So, this is people ringing the wrong number and expecting a sex line?
0:27:48 > 0:27:53- Yes.- So, if they're already heavy breathing, they've started already.
0:27:53 > 0:27:54I didn't know this.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59Maybe it was just a helpline for asthma, people with asthma.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Nothing sexual. That guy's trying to ring nine people at the same time.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07That's not going to work.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09I once picked up the phone and somebody said,
0:28:09 > 0:28:10"You're supposed to be a fax!"
0:28:10 > 0:28:14And you think, "I have no idea what to say back to them."
0:28:14 > 0:28:16- Beep.- Yeah.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20So they had a terrible time because people were constantly getting wrong
0:28:20 > 0:28:23numbers and Belgium was another country that ran sex lines
0:28:23 > 0:28:25for quite a while. When they were banned,
0:28:25 > 0:28:28this is the most brilliant thing, they started a new thing,
0:28:28 > 0:28:30which was cookery lines with recipes read
0:28:30 > 0:28:32in the most sexual way possible.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37- They had to read out sexy recipes. - What's a sexy recipe?
0:28:37 > 0:28:39- Toad in the hole.- Toad...
0:28:40 > 0:28:43- Toad in the hole! - Toad in the hole.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45I can't think of anything more exciting, I think.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48I quite fancy a toad in the hole.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51Last time I had that, I had a football under my arm
0:28:51 > 0:28:54and a catapult in my pocket.
0:28:54 > 0:28:55Two weeks ago.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01You used to be able to get toad in the hole followed by spotted dick.
0:29:01 > 0:29:02Yeah.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04- There's a recipe you could read out. - Yeah.
0:29:04 > 0:29:05So, here's the thing.
0:29:05 > 0:29:07We're going to make our own nuisance call this evening.
0:29:07 > 0:29:11There is a number that anybody can ring in Sweden
0:29:11 > 0:29:15and it's a scheme set up by the country's tourism authority
0:29:15 > 0:29:18to celebrate 250 years of free speech in Sweden
0:29:18 > 0:29:21and it's called Ring a Random Swede, OK?
0:29:23 > 0:29:24It's genuinely a random thing.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27We've no idea who we're going to get.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29We've already pre-selected a question from a member
0:29:29 > 0:29:32of the audience and the question is why do you eat rotten fish?
0:29:34 > 0:29:36Does anybody speak Swedish?
0:29:36 > 0:29:38Here's the marvellous thing about Scandinavians,
0:29:38 > 0:29:41- their English is really coming along.- OK.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51So, the marvellous sound department are going to put the call through
0:29:51 > 0:29:55now and obviously we'll have to explain what it is we're doing to this person.
0:29:55 > 0:29:56PHONE DIALS
0:30:23 > 0:30:26This whole thing's making me very anxious, I don't know why.
0:30:26 > 0:30:27Is it? Just talking to somebody you don't know?
0:30:27 > 0:30:30Because I think if somebody rang me randomly, I'd be so pissed off.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32- I know, but people have signed up for it.- Oh, they want it.
0:30:32 > 0:30:34They've signed up to be Random Swede.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36It's not like you just... MAN SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:30:36 > 0:30:40- Hello.- Hello.- Hi, my name is Sandi, I'm ringing from London.
0:30:40 > 0:30:41Who's that?
0:30:43 > 0:30:47Robin. Hi. You're my Random Swede that I'm ringing.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Is it your first phone call from an English person?
0:30:53 > 0:30:55Oh!
0:30:55 > 0:30:58Well, this is kind of exciting, Robin, because I'm ringing you
0:30:58 > 0:31:01from a live television studio in London.
0:31:01 > 0:31:05You're on the BBC right now, is that OK?
0:31:08 > 0:31:11OK. I tell you what, we'll have a round of applause from our audience.
0:31:11 > 0:31:12Maybe you can hear that.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14APPLAUSE
0:31:20 > 0:31:22So, what do you do, Robin?
0:31:26 > 0:31:28Are you actually in the shop?
0:31:28 > 0:31:31OK. So, we have a question from our audience.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34You may be buying this now, what do I know?
0:31:34 > 0:31:37Why do Swedish people eat rotten fish is the question
0:31:37 > 0:31:38we want to ask you.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52So, what are you going to buy, Robin, for your dinner?
0:31:57 > 0:31:59- Nice, sounds nice. - Parmesan, that sounds lovely.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01- (Very good English.) - Yes, very good English.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04Can you ask him how he's going to divide the chicken?
0:32:04 > 0:32:05Yeah.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09- And to keep it moist the next... - Yeah.
0:32:10 > 0:32:11So here's the thing, Robin...
0:32:11 > 0:32:13ROBIN LAUGHS
0:32:15 > 0:32:18Are you all right if we put this on the BBC?
0:32:18 > 0:32:20OK.
0:32:20 > 0:32:23On BBC Two. It's called QI, do you know QI?
0:32:25 > 0:32:27No.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29You have your own version in Sweden of QI.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32- Intresseklubben.- Could you ask him...?- Intresseklubben.
0:32:32 > 0:32:37- Could you ask him what time should he expect us for dinner?- Yes, so...
0:32:37 > 0:32:39The whole audience wants to come for dinner.
0:32:39 > 0:32:41It was lovely to speak to you, Robin.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43APPLAUSE
0:32:48 > 0:32:51- His English was pretty good.- That English, coming along, wasn't it?
0:32:51 > 0:32:53Yeah, coming along.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55You'll never meet an unfriendly Swede, that's my view.
0:32:55 > 0:32:58No, darling, that's because they're usually drunk.
0:32:58 > 0:32:59LAUGHTER
0:32:59 > 0:33:00It's a Danish-Swedish thing.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02OK, new question.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04How does it feel to be a 9-ender?
0:33:04 > 0:33:06- Anybody know? - If you've lost a finger?
0:33:07 > 0:33:09Oh! It's not that.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11It's about our ages.
0:33:11 > 0:33:13Oh, is it if you're sort of 19, 29, 39?
0:33:13 > 0:33:14Yes, it's exactly that.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16They did a study in 2014,
0:33:16 > 0:33:19Adam Alter and Hal E Hershfield of New York University,
0:33:19 > 0:33:22and people who have nine at the end of their age
0:33:22 > 0:33:25are more likely to be looking for purpose in their lives.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27I think the idea is that we see a new decade
0:33:27 > 0:33:29- as a sort of watershed moment. - A milestone.
0:33:29 > 0:33:30- A milestone, exactly right.- Yes.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32So, more likely to be registered on dating sites
0:33:32 > 0:33:35looking for extramarital affairs, for example.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37More likely to run a marathon
0:33:37 > 0:33:39or commit suicide.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42I don't think that's an either or, I don't think that's...
0:33:42 > 0:33:45And also to do better in marathons cos they're better motivated.
0:33:45 > 0:33:46And lots of examples,
0:33:46 > 0:33:48Buddha renounced all his possessions when he was 29,
0:33:48 > 0:33:50Agatha Christie published her first book at 29,
0:33:50 > 0:33:53Alexander Graham Bell transmitted his first sentence by telephone
0:33:53 > 0:33:55at 29, so there are lots and lots of examples.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57- I started doing stand-up at 29. - Did you?- Yeah, yeah.
0:33:57 > 0:34:02Peter Schmeichel won his first Premiership winner's medal at 29
0:34:02 > 0:34:05and this year, his son Kasper
0:34:05 > 0:34:09has won his first Premiership medal at 29.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12- Wow, that's kind of spooky. AUDIENCE:- Ooh.
0:34:12 > 0:34:13APPLAUSE
0:34:13 > 0:34:16- That is kind of spooky. - And they're both goalkeepers.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18And they're both Danish.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21Yes, well, there's a Randy Scandi.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24- I've come up with a Randy Scandi! - Yeah.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27Right, let's play How Many People In The Audience...
0:34:27 > 0:34:30Each of my panellists has got a coloured card
0:34:30 > 0:34:32and the audience also has coloured cards
0:34:32 > 0:34:36and I'm going to get them to stand up and I want you to
0:34:36 > 0:34:39tell me which item on this list relates
0:34:39 > 0:34:42to the number of people who are standing.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44We're going to start with Colin, what colour is your card?
0:34:44 > 0:34:50- Blue.- So, could all the blue card people stand up, please?
0:34:50 > 0:34:51What do you reckon, Colin?
0:34:51 > 0:34:54- How many people do you think that is?- Erm...
0:34:56 > 0:34:58It's about 182.
0:34:58 > 0:35:02- OK.- It's 230 people.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05It took 230 people to do one of these five things.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Selfie fatalities in 2014.
0:35:08 > 0:35:12It is not. It is something a little bit more substantial.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15- Built the Eiffel Tower.- Built the Eiffel Tower is absolutely right.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18Built by 230 people in two years.
0:35:18 > 0:35:22Sit back down again and we will come to Sarah.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23What colour is your card?
0:35:23 > 0:35:26- I have red.- So, could I have the red cards standing, please?
0:35:26 > 0:35:28How many do you think that might be?
0:35:29 > 0:35:31- 100, maybe.- 69.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35So, have a look at the list, what do you reckon?
0:35:35 > 0:35:37I think maybe the selfie fatalities.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39You keep going for that one. It isn't that.
0:35:39 > 0:35:43It's the world record number of children born to a single mother.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45No way.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48- What?- All of you are now related.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51It's a woman called Valentina Vassilyev.
0:35:51 > 0:35:52She had 16 pairs of twins,
0:35:52 > 0:35:54she had seven sets of triplets
0:35:54 > 0:35:59and four sets of quadruplets in 40 years, between 1725 and 1765.
0:35:59 > 0:36:01In total, 27 births.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04Her husband, Feodor Vassilyev,
0:36:04 > 0:36:08went on to have a further 18 children with his second wife.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11So, he left her?! After all of those kids!
0:36:11 > 0:36:13I think she died. I think she died.
0:36:13 > 0:36:15It's unbelievable, isn't it?
0:36:15 > 0:36:17But the way she was having children
0:36:17 > 0:36:22was someone was unscrewing her and they were just getting out...
0:36:22 > 0:36:23But this is a wrong that ought to be righted.
0:36:23 > 0:36:25The Guinness Book of Records describes Valentina
0:36:25 > 0:36:28as the wife of Feodor without mentioning her own name
0:36:28 > 0:36:30and she deserves absolutely her own name as credit.
0:36:30 > 0:36:34- Oh, boo!- Valentina, she was called. - Do you know how young she started?
0:36:34 > 0:36:35Well, over 40 years she had the children...
0:36:35 > 0:36:38- Oh, my God.- ..so must've started very young indeed.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40- She was four.- Yes.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Let's have a look at yours, Noel. What colour is your card?
0:36:43 > 0:36:47White. Let's have all the white cards stand.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49How many people do you reckon that is?
0:36:49 > 0:36:52- 50?- 49, almost exactly right.
0:36:52 > 0:36:56- What does that represent? COLIN:- (Selfie fatalities.)
0:36:56 > 0:37:00Everybody's gone for the selfie fatalities, what do you reckon?
0:37:00 > 0:37:02QI contestants.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05You should have gone for the selfie fatalities.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12That number of people, very sadly, in 2014, died taking a selfie.
0:37:12 > 0:37:1616 came from a fall, four from a gunshot, one from an animal,
0:37:16 > 0:37:18I don't know what the story is, I've no idea.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21The most common place apparently to die taking a selfie is in India.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Followed by Russia.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26I tell you what, Alan, why don't you get the whole audience to stand up?
0:37:26 > 0:37:28Everyone, please rise.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30There we are. AUDIENCE RISES NOISILY
0:37:30 > 0:37:34- So, that's the entire audience. - Oh, I've heard that noise before.
0:37:38 > 0:37:41Turn your back for two seconds.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44625 people is the QI audience.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47I can tell you it represents people who died in a certain way.
0:37:47 > 0:37:52They didn't die together. It was 625 individual incidents.
0:37:52 > 0:37:54- Domestic accidents? - It's an accident in the home.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56Coming to panel shows?
0:37:59 > 0:38:02The word coming is going to be most...
0:38:02 > 0:38:04No. No!
0:38:04 > 0:38:07- Getting jiggy? - It's the number of people in 2014
0:38:07 > 0:38:11who died from autoerotic asphyxiation.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14Sit down, you dirty bastards!
0:38:17 > 0:38:22Sorry, I'm confused. I thought for a moment you were all autoerotics.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25That's how to explain the dangers of autoerotic asphyxiation
0:38:25 > 0:38:27using our studio audience.
0:38:27 > 0:38:32All of which talk of hard sums brings us to the insoluble equation
0:38:32 > 0:38:36that is general ignorance. So, fingers on buzzers, please.
0:38:36 > 0:38:41In terms of numbers, which is the most common vertebrate in the world?
0:38:41 > 0:38:42# ABC. #
0:38:42 > 0:38:44- Alan.- Humans.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46KLAXON
0:38:46 > 0:38:47SLIGHT CHEERING
0:38:47 > 0:38:49We never knew you liked the klaxon!
0:38:49 > 0:38:52We'll get some more. We'll get some more.
0:38:52 > 0:38:53Seven billion humans.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56I can tell you already there are more chickens than there are...
0:38:56 > 0:38:58# ABC. #
0:39:01 > 0:39:03- Chickens. - Chickens, that should do it.
0:39:03 > 0:39:05KLAXON
0:39:10 > 0:39:11# Three, two, one. #
0:39:11 > 0:39:13- It's not rats?- No.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15KLAXON
0:39:15 > 0:39:17It's not rats.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19- NOEL:- I have got it.- Yes.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22People who died of auto asphyxiation.
0:39:24 > 0:39:25- It's a fish.- Fish, fish!
0:39:25 > 0:39:29It's a fish called the Bristlemouth and it's tiny.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32It is smaller than your finger but if it opens its mouth up wide
0:39:32 > 0:39:34it's got these incredible needle-like teeth.
0:39:34 > 0:39:38It's an amazing fish. It glows and it eats even smaller creatures,
0:39:38 > 0:39:41which you can see there, called copepods, but they are not vertebrates.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44But this is the largest number of vertebrates in the world.
0:39:44 > 0:39:48They live in the sea between half a mile and three miles down and until
0:39:48 > 0:39:51the 21st-century, so they got the very fine dredging nets,
0:39:51 > 0:39:53we didn't really know how many there were.
0:39:53 > 0:39:56The estimate now is that there are as many as a dozen
0:39:56 > 0:39:59- per square metre of ocean surface.- Whoa.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01And they disguise themselves as diagrams.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04They do.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06Protandrous, do you know what that means?
0:40:06 > 0:40:07- No.- They're protandrous. They...
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Like Chrissie Hynde? No.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14- I don't know about that. They're male first hermaphrodites.- Wow.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16The most common animal in the world is an invertebrate.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18It's the nematode worm.
0:40:18 > 0:40:22Four out of five of all animals is a nematode worm.
0:40:22 > 0:40:24Anything that comes at you like that without any eyes...
0:40:28 > 0:40:31That's why some of us made the life choices we did.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:40:38 > 0:40:42What colour bricks did they build Number 10 with?
0:40:42 > 0:40:44- Oh, red ones, surely. They're dirty.- NOEL:- White.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46Black.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48KLAXON
0:40:49 > 0:40:50No. Yellow.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53There was lots and lots of pollution and in fact when it was cleaned off
0:40:53 > 0:40:56in the '50s and '60s, they thought, "Oh, we better paint it black
0:40:56 > 0:40:58- "cos everyone's expecting it to be black."- Oh, no, really?
0:40:58 > 0:41:01And can you see the zero on the ten is slightly askew?
0:41:01 > 0:41:05It's an homage to old number which was always very slightly askew.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07The White House is also made with yellow bricks
0:41:07 > 0:41:09so that is a curious thing,
0:41:09 > 0:41:12they are in fact sandstone underneath all that white paint.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14They may not look it but the White House
0:41:14 > 0:41:15and the front of Number 10 Downing Street
0:41:15 > 0:41:18are both a similar shade of yellow.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22The word noon comes from the word nun, which meant nine,
0:41:22 > 0:41:25so with that in mind, if you had to meet a ninth-century nun
0:41:25 > 0:41:29at noon, what time would you noodle off to the nunnery?
0:41:33 > 0:41:36Noon means nun, which came from nine,
0:41:36 > 0:41:38you're meeting the nun at nine.
0:41:38 > 0:41:40Nun, what time would you meet if you were meeting the nun at noon?
0:41:40 > 0:41:4212?
0:41:42 > 0:41:44KLAXON
0:41:46 > 0:41:48- Nine.- Yeah. No.
0:41:48 > 0:41:50KLAXON
0:41:52 > 0:41:53There isn't a nun.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55KLAXON
0:41:59 > 0:42:01- Anyone else want to have a go? - Just call them, instead.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03Until the mid-12th century,
0:42:03 > 0:42:05the word noon meant three o'clock in the afternoon.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07Ah, bollocks.
0:42:09 > 0:42:13You were so winning, as well. You just destroyed your score.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15It goes back to old Christian prayer times,
0:42:15 > 0:42:18so it used to be that the day began at 6am,
0:42:18 > 0:42:20so that was known as the prime or the first hour
0:42:20 > 0:42:23and then you have terces, so the third hour, that would be 9am today.
0:42:23 > 0:42:27- Nonny's the ninth hour.- That guy in the orange has got my haircut.
0:42:29 > 0:42:32He's praying for a new one.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35"Please, I don't want to be in Cabaret any more!"
0:42:38 > 0:42:42Until the Middle Ages, noon was 3pm and all this talk of time makes me
0:42:42 > 0:42:44realise it must be time for the scores.
0:42:44 > 0:42:46In last place with -41 is Alan.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48APPLAUSE
0:42:50 > 0:42:53It should be Sarah next, but we're going to skip over that
0:42:53 > 0:42:55and we're going to put in third place Colin, with -9.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58- Thank you. - APPLAUSE
0:42:59 > 0:43:02Thank you. And in second place, Noel, with one point!
0:43:02 > 0:43:04APPLAUSE
0:43:05 > 0:43:09So, Sarah actually got -26, but I was supposed to do a gig for Sarah
0:43:09 > 0:43:13and I let her down by becoming the new host of QI and I couldn't do it,
0:43:13 > 0:43:16so this week's winner, to make up for it, is Sarah Millican!
0:43:16 > 0:43:18APPLAUSE
0:43:27 > 0:43:29That's all from Sarah, Noel, Colin,
0:43:29 > 0:43:32Alan and me. And I leave you with this number-related,
0:43:32 > 0:43:35Neolithic newspaper nugget from the Eastern Evening News.
0:43:35 > 0:43:40When two men stole six sheep from a farm at Mumford,
0:43:40 > 0:43:43they found that they could only get five of them into the back of their van.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46So, the other one had to sit in the cab between the two men.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49But the men had to pass through Watton on their way home.
0:43:49 > 0:43:53Fearing that the sheep sitting in the cab might be conspicuous,
0:43:53 > 0:43:55they disguised it by putting a trilby hat on its head.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58Goodnight.