0:00:24 > 0:00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Hello, and welcome to QI,
0:00:35 > 0:00:40which tonight is an omnibus of Oddballs.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44Let's meet our obliging odd-fellows. An odd bod, Jason Manford.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48- APPLAUSE - Odd? Odd bod?
0:00:48 > 0:00:51An odd fish, Jimmy Carr.
0:00:51 > 0:00:52APPLAUSE
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Really? Odd fish? OK, fine.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58An odd lot, Victoria Coren Mitchell.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00APPLAUSE
0:01:00 > 0:01:02What is an odd lot?!
0:01:03 > 0:01:06And Odds Bodkins, Alan Davies.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07- APPLAUSE - Hello.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Right, let's hear their Odd Ball buzzers.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Jason Manford goes...
0:01:18 > 0:01:20TABLE TENNIS BALL BOUNCES
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Very good.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Jimmy goes...
0:01:23 > 0:01:24BALL BOUNCES HEAVILY
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Oh.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28Well, my apologies.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30A Mexican lunch.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31Victoria goes...
0:01:31 > 0:01:33PINBALL MACHINE PINGS
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Oh, you... And Alan goes...
0:01:37 > 0:01:38# Bouncy bouncy
0:01:38 > 0:01:40# Bouncy bouncy
0:01:40 > 0:01:41# Bouncy bouncy
0:01:41 > 0:01:44# Bouncy bouncy. #
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Oddly enough, we start with Oddball games.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51So you've each got a selection of odd balls under your desks.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Odd balls coming up.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Kindly invent a new ball game, and I would like you to use your heads.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59LAUGHTER
0:01:59 > 0:02:01- That was funny. - What did you do, just...?
0:02:01 > 0:02:02I threw it at his head, look.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Not the baseball!
0:02:10 > 0:02:12OK, can we get the orange one back again?
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Can we have it thrown back by somebody?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Somebody will throw it to us, I'm sure. Come on.- Oh, whoa!
0:02:17 > 0:02:18- That was terrifying! - Do you know what?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20If you can't throw, don't volunteer.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- Unbelievable! Unbelievable. - Underarm, as well.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25If it comes over here again, I'll put a bloody knife through it!
0:02:29 > 0:02:30- Curmudgeonly old man.- OK.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33There is a German game called Headis,
0:02:33 > 0:02:35and it is ping-pong played without a bat,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38where you just hit it with your head.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41So, it was invented by a sports science student.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43- Push.- But don't forget the net.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- The net?!- Yes - so, there's a net in the way, right?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49OK, are you ready? Try now.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50Yes!
0:02:50 > 0:02:51APPLAUSE
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Can you get that?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02- Result. - APPLAUSE
0:03:02 > 0:03:04He caught the ball.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08It was in 2006, his name is Rene Wegner,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10and he invented this game Headis.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11It is now played internationally.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15It is on the official sports programme of 15 German universities,
0:03:15 > 0:03:18and have a look at this, because the top players are extraordinary,
0:03:18 > 0:03:20and they use sort of noms-de-guerre -
0:03:20 > 0:03:24like, well there's things like "the Sausage Seller", "Leek Face",
0:03:24 > 0:03:28- and "Bob Der Headmaster", which I'm...- Wow.- ..very pleased with.
0:03:28 > 0:03:29And they have astonishing rallies.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31So they're replaced the bat with their heads.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34I suppose it's better than the ball.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Oh!
0:03:35 > 0:03:36ALL: Ooh!
0:03:36 > 0:03:37APPLAUSE
0:03:40 > 0:03:43I can't help thinking of the corners of the table.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45I know, yes.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Another ball game we've discovered is a Swiss game
0:03:47 > 0:03:51called Hornussen, and this is one of Switzerland's national sports.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53You have two teams, but there seems to be no limit
0:03:53 > 0:03:55to the size of the team, or the size of the pitch,
0:03:55 > 0:03:58and there is a ball, which stands on this little thing like this,
0:03:58 > 0:04:01and then what looks like a bendy golf club, right?
0:04:01 > 0:04:04And you hit the ball and it goes out into a field,
0:04:04 > 0:04:07and then the opposition have these enormous sort of placards.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09So here's the guy who hits the ball.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13It's a bendy golf club, yeah -
0:04:13 > 0:04:18and then a guy with a placard... LAUGHTER
0:04:18 > 0:04:21..tries to stop the ball, OK?
0:04:21 > 0:04:23And yes, a lot of shouting...
0:04:23 > 0:04:27..and then - oh, there they are - and there seems to be no limit.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- That is good.- It's good! - That is brilliant.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31It's been around since the 17th century,
0:04:31 > 0:04:33and it evolved from the ancient tradition
0:04:33 > 0:04:38of hitting burning logs down the mountainside to expel evil spirits.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39LAUGHTER
0:04:39 > 0:04:42But the ball can go up to 306km per hour -
0:04:42 > 0:04:43I mean, it's a fantastically fast thing.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Ah, well, that explains why that fellow in the video
0:04:46 > 0:04:48- didn't have many teeth left. - Yeah, I think that's the thing.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- 300km an hour?- Yeah, yeah.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- That's really fast, isn't it? - It's really fast.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54This game I like the look of,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56although I would not be able to play it.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59It's called Cycle Ball, it was invented in 1893,
0:04:59 > 0:05:01it is enormously popular in Germany.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02Anybody work out how you play it?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Is it not like polo, but they're on bicycles?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Yes, and you have to use the front wheel of the bicycle -
0:05:07 > 0:05:11and, again, just extraordinary skill that the players have with this.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Obviously, it's tremendously exciting.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15- Wow!- Ooh, what a goal. Oh, nice.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17- Yeah, yeah. Look.- Ooh, he's lobbed him.- He's lobbed him...
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- Ooh, ooh!- Crikey O'Reilly. - Oh, this is a good show reel.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23- Yeah, that's, I mean... - I would actually watch that.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25- It's quite exciting, don't you think?- Yeah.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26- I would totally watch that.- Yeah.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28This is, I think, I seem to...
0:05:28 > 0:05:29- For - I mean, for a bit.- Yeah.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31LAUGHTER
0:05:32 > 0:05:34One I like is a game called Pushball.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36So, there's a guy called Moses Crane, in the 1890s,
0:05:36 > 0:05:38who watched a lot of American football, and he got confused.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41You know in American football they always have sort of like a scrum?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43They couldn't find the ball, so he invented this game.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45- "It's so big!"- It is.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49It's a six foot ball that weighs 50 pounds.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Wow.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55- So those guys are about to die. - Yeah!
0:05:55 > 0:05:57No, the idea is you have to either get it across the line,
0:05:57 > 0:06:00or you have to get it across a crossbar.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02People played it on horseback.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Is that the... Is that the American remake of The Prisoner?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12We did some filming once for Jonathan Creek
0:06:12 > 0:06:14and there was a polo ground.
0:06:14 > 0:06:19There was an Argentinian polo player milling around in jodhpurs.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21The make-up and wardrobe department, I swear to God,
0:06:21 > 0:06:23all began to ovulate simultaneously.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26And I thought to myself,
0:06:26 > 0:06:28he was magnificent.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32He was the sexiest thing you've ever seen in your life
0:06:32 > 0:06:34just wandering about in jodhpurs and boots
0:06:34 > 0:06:36looking for his pony.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38There's a line in one of the Jilly Cooper books,
0:06:38 > 0:06:40"Well, everyone looks sexy in jodhpurs."
0:06:40 > 0:06:42No.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45No. Some people look like badly packaged sausages.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Do you know a football club in Telemark in Norway
0:06:51 > 0:06:53called the Odds Ballklub, do you know that?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54I do not know of them.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57It's just known as Odds, so its greatest claim to fame is that
0:06:57 > 0:07:01it had a goal, believed to be the longest headed goal ever scored.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04There was a man called Jone Samuelsen and he...
0:07:04 > 0:07:05From within his own half...
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Well, he's cheating, to be fair.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08Yes.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Look at that beauty.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13From within his own half, he headed the ball 190 feet.
0:07:13 > 0:07:18So unbelievable, they called the police in to make sure it was real.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Someone would have thought it
0:07:22 > 0:07:25and then someone would have had to agree with them.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- Yeah.- "Have you seen that header that went in from the other half?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- "We'd better ring the police."- Yeah.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32LAUGHTER
0:07:32 > 0:07:35The thing I really love is when football is played
0:07:35 > 0:07:38in a district of Bangkok called Khlong Toei.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40It's a really densely populated area,
0:07:40 > 0:07:42there is no space to play football,
0:07:42 > 0:07:45so what they have done is reclaimed patches of an odd size.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47They carefully designed a pitch
0:07:47 > 0:07:50so that it is exactly two different halves.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Look at that. That is just to make it fit in
0:07:52 > 0:07:54so they can play a fair football game.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55That's brilliant.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57- They play round the corner?- Yes.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59They can't even see the ball coming.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Wonderful, I love that.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04You say it's a good use of the space,
0:08:04 > 0:08:06but they could have built a hospital.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08LAUGHTER
0:08:09 > 0:08:11It's all relative.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13I'm going to guess the football pitch was cheaper,
0:08:13 > 0:08:17what do you think? OK, balls away, please.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- Balls away.- I should never have got them out.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Now, here's an odd question.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26How can I persuade you to do what I want using only my thumb?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28- Er...- Ah, well, now, well...
0:08:30 > 0:08:32- I can think of a couple of possibilities.- Yeah.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35- Just...- Yes?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- No, I've got nothing that isn't filth.- Nothing.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39- Nothing, no? - Nothing that isn't filth.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42It is known as the "thumb of power" and it's a hand gesture
0:08:42 > 0:08:45used very widely by modern politicians when they make speeches.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Oh, it's to stop you doing this, isn't it? To stop you going...
0:08:47 > 0:08:49- Yeah.- "You!" - Apparently it's more powerful -
0:08:49 > 0:08:51don't do that because people don't like it,
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- but if you do that, you look like you're a powerful person.- Yeah.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56- Never do that as a politician. - No.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59There's a science of oratorical hand gestures,
0:08:59 > 0:09:01and it's called chironomia,
0:09:01 > 0:09:05and it was set out in precise detail in 95AD, so a really long time ago,
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Quintilian's Institutio Oratoria.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10It says here, "One of the commonest of all the gestures
0:09:10 > 0:09:14"consists in placing the middle finger against the thumb
0:09:14 > 0:09:16"and extending the remaining three.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17"It is suitable in the statement of facts,
0:09:17 > 0:09:20"but in that case the hand must be moved with firmness
0:09:20 > 0:09:21"and a little further forward
0:09:21 > 0:09:24"while, if we are reproaching or refuting our adversary,
0:09:24 > 0:09:27"the same movement may be employed with some vehemence and energy,
0:09:27 > 0:09:30"since such passages permit of greater freedom of extension."
0:09:30 > 0:09:33- You know, I'll tell you who does it...- Yes?
0:09:33 > 0:09:35I think, Paulie Walnuts in the Sopranos.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Does he?- And Spider-Man.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38LAUGHTER
0:09:39 > 0:09:41But the study of oratory and rhetoric
0:09:41 > 0:09:43dates back a really long time -
0:09:43 > 0:09:46and there's all sorts of rules about classic rhetoric
0:09:46 > 0:09:49based around the rule of three, which is the same as in comedy.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52So, tricolon, "I came, I saw, I conquered."
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Or veni, vidi, Visa - "I came, I saw, I shopped."
0:09:55 > 0:09:59Molossus, so that's three stressed syllables.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00"Yes, we can."
0:10:00 > 0:10:03And epizeuxis, so, "Location, location, location,"
0:10:03 > 0:10:05when you repeat the same word over and over again -
0:10:05 > 0:10:07but it hasn't changed, it hasn't changed.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09So you get ethos, logos and pathos,
0:10:09 > 0:10:12those are the three modes of persuasion.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15So, ethos is how you establish the credibility of the speaker.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18So, "Watch QI, I'm on it."
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Logos, you present the logical argument.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22"Watch QI, it's really good."
0:10:22 > 0:10:24And pathos, appeal to the emotions.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26"Watch QI or we shoot this kitten."
0:10:26 > 0:10:27LAUGHTER
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I was just using it as a rough example.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35There have been manuals about how you gesture
0:10:35 > 0:10:36since there have been speeches.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- This is a wonderful one. - Oh, I've done this on a stag do.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- LAUGHTER - It's brilliant.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- Zorb - zorb football, it's called. - You run downhill.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50It's a right laugh, 12 of you, "Boing, boing..."
0:10:50 > 0:10:53We didn't dress like that.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54Hob, dob, do.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Hob, dob, do.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Hob, dob, do.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Ao.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02LAUGHTER
0:11:04 > 0:11:06I think he might - I think he might be learning the Macarena.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07LAUGHTER
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I'm totally sure.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14A study of TED talks - anybody given a TED talk?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Erm, no, I think we'd remember.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- No?- Have you given a TED talk?
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- Of course I have, yes. - What was your TED talk?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22I gave a TED talk on how feminism could save the world.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24CHEERING
0:11:28 > 0:11:31What about the other half of the audience? Nothing!
0:11:31 > 0:11:33They know their place.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Anyway, no, it's cool. So, the most successful ones tend to be the ones
0:11:40 > 0:11:42when people use lots of hand gestures.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44And politicians can't help but use them.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47My favourite example is Richard Nixon
0:11:47 > 0:11:50on the day that he was made to resign as President,
0:11:50 > 0:11:52that's what he chose to do as he left.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56He clearly hadn't got the message it hadn't gone all that well.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58I think I could play a young Nixon.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01- Yes, actually, that's slightly terrifying, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04And Angela Merkel always holds her hands like that.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07In fact, in Germany, it's known as the Merkel-Raute,
0:12:07 > 0:12:10the Merkel diamond, that's just how she always holds her hands.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Trump, also, lots of signature hand signals.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14When Donald Trump took to office, little did he know.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17LAUGHTER
0:12:17 > 0:12:18APPLAUSE
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- JASON:- Very good.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- VICTORIA:- I like Angela Merkel's one -
0:12:24 > 0:12:26it's like she's going to go, "Open the door, see all the people."
0:12:26 > 0:12:28It does look like that!
0:12:28 > 0:12:30GERMAN ACCENT: "I have ze steeple and zen - oh, look.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34"Ah, zere's no British people."
0:12:34 > 0:12:35LAUGHTER
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- There's a whole conspiracy theory around that.- Oh?
0:12:40 > 0:12:43It's about an Illuminati symbol.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46I did it once inadvertently on a TV show, like,
0:12:46 > 0:12:47for like a split second.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Someone did a freeze frame on it and went,
0:12:49 > 0:12:51"Oh, Illuminati. That guy's in the Illuminati."
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Which I am, but that's not...
0:12:56 > 0:12:59If you Google it, there's lots of pictures of Jay-Z doing this...
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- Like... - Jay-Z's in the Illuminati?!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- You heard it here first.- Oh, my!
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Victoria, when you have your photograph taken,
0:13:06 > 0:13:08isn't it awkward to know what to do with your hands?
0:13:08 > 0:13:10If you're a woman, especially.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12- You can't put your hands in your pockets, can you?- No, yes, terrible.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I've read things that say, you know,
0:13:14 > 0:13:16if you put one foot forward, you look thinner.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I like the idea of the one foot forward.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21- Just do that. Always just do that. - Why is that?
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Because people will always remember you.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24LAUGHTER
0:13:28 > 0:13:29"Remember that man
0:13:29 > 0:13:32"that thought there was a robbery going on all the time?"
0:13:32 > 0:13:33"Yeah, I remember him, yeah."
0:13:33 > 0:13:34- VICTORIA:- Am I alone in this?
0:13:34 > 0:13:36When you see great-looking women at premieres,
0:13:36 > 0:13:38and they have a picture and they're looking over...
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Whenever I see a picture like that, I don't understand how they do it.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- No.- They used to have a pose they did on Page 3
0:13:44 > 0:13:46where it got the tits and the bum in the same shot.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Really?
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Tits and the bum in the same shot?
0:13:52 > 0:13:53AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:13:55 > 0:13:57I think I've got it.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Yeah?- You be the bum, you be the bum, and I'll...
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Bend over, be the bum, like that.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06There we go.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09APPLAUSE
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Enough oratory.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Let's look at some optical odds and sods.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Which of these paintings is awful?
0:14:18 > 0:14:22- Is awful.- Awful. - As in terrible.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Which painting is awful?
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Well, the bottom right, as I'm looking at it.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28- You don't like that? - A kid's done that.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Yes, and you think it's awful?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Well, not, I mean... Er, yeah.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33OK.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Some nice six-year-old called Eloise Fell
0:14:35 > 0:14:37and now you've made her feel terrible.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38LAUGHTER
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- Top row.- You want to go top row, what do you think about it?
0:14:43 > 0:14:44It's upside-down.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47So this is actually rather a famous painting,
0:14:47 > 0:14:51it is called Libre Mer and it is by Spain's premier abstract artist,
0:14:51 > 0:14:53a man called Antoni Tapies.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55So what we're talking about is what's known as
0:14:55 > 0:14:57outsider art. It is called all sorts of things.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59You know, people call it naive painting,
0:14:59 > 0:15:01or they call it primitive painting, or whatever,
0:15:01 > 0:15:04and now a lot of this work is worth an absolute fortune.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06But have a look at some of the others,
0:15:06 > 0:15:09- some of them you must recognise. - Lowry, we know Lowry.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Yeah. He was variously described in his day as a Sunday painter,
0:15:12 > 0:15:13a concealed sophisticate,
0:15:13 > 0:15:15deceptively simple, all those kind of things.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Primitivist. In fact, he had trained and he looked very annoyed
0:15:18 > 0:15:20when people called him a Sunday painter.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23He said, "I'm a Sunday painter who paints every day of the week."
0:15:23 > 0:15:25He wasn't very well thought of and that is quite often the case
0:15:25 > 0:15:27from people in the outsider art category.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30It was also known as art brut, raw art.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33In fact, the one on the top left there is Jean Debuffet,
0:15:33 > 0:15:35it's actually a sculpture.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38And he rejected what he called beauty in art.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40He said he liked the savagery of it,
0:15:40 > 0:15:43especially art that exists outside the normal tradition of art.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Initially it was people, as it were, outside of society,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49it was people who had been put into an asylum,
0:15:49 > 0:15:52rough sleepers, anybody who'd been socially excluded.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54One of my favourites is Grandma Moses,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56she didn't start painting until she was 78.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58So bottom left there.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00She was a friend of Norman Rockwell's.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03What I like is that she was named as Mademoiselle's Magazine
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Young Woman of the Year at the age of 88.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- Brilliant! - Isn't that wonderful?- That's great.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10She hadn't started painting until she was 78.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12There's a difference between the naive art and the bad art.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15There is a Museum Of Bad Art in Boston, Massachusetts
0:16:15 > 0:16:16and here are two examples from it.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19You see, I have no confidence about this,
0:16:19 > 0:16:22I don't... You could have told me these are hugely expensive paintings
0:16:22 > 0:16:26that went for millions and everyone thinks they're wonderful
0:16:26 > 0:16:28and I'd go, "Wow, OK." I don't know why they're awful.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Why are they worse than the ones we looked at before?
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Yeah.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34They say that the definition of bad art is that it lacks
0:16:34 > 0:16:37both artistic inspiration and technical competence.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39If it's meant to be a picture of a horse,
0:16:39 > 0:16:40it lacks technical competence.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41LAUGHTER
0:16:41 > 0:16:44If it's a horse that's run into some French window...
0:16:47 > 0:16:51My kids bring pictures home sometimes, we put them on the wall.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54- Yeah.- I mean, a lot of them are rubbish.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55Like, terrible.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Eloise Fell, who you picked out, our lovely six-year-old...
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Be nice about my painting, or the dog gets it.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Pathos. Pathos.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09What's the youngest someone's been taken seriously by the art world?
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Well, Picasso, by the time he was 18 could draw anything to look
0:17:12 > 0:17:14exactly the way it was supposed to.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16He said he spent the rest of his life trying to draw like a child,
0:17:16 > 0:17:18trying to release the child inside himself.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21But, yeah, I guess because we're not trained in what to look for
0:17:21 > 0:17:24we would...if you said that was done by a genius,
0:17:24 > 0:17:26we'd go, "Oh, right." And that's worth £12 million.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29"All right, fair enough." Like the Tracey Emin unmade bed thing,
0:17:29 > 0:17:33we've all got unmade beds but she's made millions of pounds out of it.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Like, how... What separates that from the rest of us?
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Pure evil.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39LAUGHTER
0:17:43 > 0:17:45I sometimes think it would be nice if artists
0:17:45 > 0:17:47would think inside the box, for a change.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Now, here's another kind of outsider.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53How did this man's bare bottom help Britain win World War I?
0:17:53 > 0:17:55He looks really different with his suit off, doesn't he?
0:17:55 > 0:17:57LAUGHTER
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Like, you wouldn't even know that was him.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Do you know what that bit's called, the cleft there?
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- Do you know what that's called? - The fun bit?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Which cleft are we talking about?
0:18:07 > 0:18:08Where you might park your bicycle?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11No, I don't know what that's called. I'm excited to learn.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13It's called the intergluteal cleft.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15You old romantic, you.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20It's just a great thing to say to a builder as you go past.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22"Oh, hello, intergluteal cleft on display.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24"And your sacral dimples."
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Give us a clue about the man -
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- did something go into his bottom or come out of it?- Well...
0:18:30 > 0:18:33- The man is called William Lawrence Bragg...- Oh!
0:18:33 > 0:18:36..he was a physicist. He was a Nobel laureate.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40In fact, he remains the youngest recipient of the Nobel Prize -
0:18:40 > 0:18:43he received it in 1915, along with his father, a famous physicist.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46In 1915, he was serving as a subaltern in Flanders,
0:18:46 > 0:18:50trying to find out ways to use sound to locate enemy artillery.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53So, one day he was sitting on the latrine
0:18:53 > 0:18:56at the house where he was billeted - it was a tight little closet,
0:18:56 > 0:18:57with no window at all, and he'd shut the door,
0:18:57 > 0:19:00and so there was no other opening to the outside world
0:19:00 > 0:19:02apart from the one that he was sitting on -
0:19:02 > 0:19:04and he noticed that when there was gunfire nearby,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07his backside momentarily lifted off the seat.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Even when he didn't really hear the explosion,
0:19:09 > 0:19:11there was a sort of a thing, like this -
0:19:11 > 0:19:13and meanwhile, another physicist he was working with,
0:19:13 > 0:19:17a man called William Tucker, was billeted in a tar paper hut,
0:19:17 > 0:19:20and he noticed that by his cot there were just a couple of little holes,
0:19:20 > 0:19:22and even on a day when there was no wind,
0:19:22 > 0:19:24little puffs of air were blowing through,
0:19:24 > 0:19:26and they compared notes, the two of them,
0:19:26 > 0:19:29one from the loo and one from these two little holes,
0:19:29 > 0:19:31and they deduced that this was the result
0:19:31 > 0:19:34of inaudible low frequency sounds of artillery,
0:19:34 > 0:19:36and they set about devising detectors,
0:19:36 > 0:19:38and by 1917 it was so advanced
0:19:38 > 0:19:40that the allies had a really devastating advantage
0:19:40 > 0:19:43in locating and targeting enemy guns...
0:19:43 > 0:19:44- Wow.- ..and it all came about
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- because his backside lifted off the lavatory.- Ooh!
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Is this maybe the most inspiring story I have ever heard...
0:19:49 > 0:19:51- About a lavatory.- ..about a men's toilet and holes in a wall.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53LAUGHTER
0:19:55 > 0:19:57- Normally, these end super differently.- Yeah, yeah.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Normally it's, "Then they had to shut down that garage."
0:19:59 > 0:20:01LAUGHTER
0:20:01 > 0:20:04And did they have to use his specific arse on all of this?
0:20:04 > 0:20:05No, I don't...
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Did he have to go round the whole - "Oh, it's over there."
0:20:07 > 0:20:10That's how he discovered it. You get other ones in history.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Martin Luther, so 16th century,
0:20:11 > 0:20:13he also had his eureka moment sitting on the privy.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Martin Luther, the man who led to the Reformation,
0:20:16 > 0:20:19suffered from terrible constipation and he was sitting there for so long
0:20:19 > 0:20:22- that he decided to read the New Testament in Greek.- Yeah.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25That's when you start reading the back of the Domestos bottle.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26LAUGHTER
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Why is there a phone number...?
0:20:30 > 0:20:33And his theological breakthrough, the Justification By Faith,
0:20:33 > 0:20:36happened while he was sitting on the loo, suffering from constipation.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39There are still 40,000 outside lavatories in the UK.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I'm surprised they've not all been turned into cereal cafes or summat.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45That's the sort of thing people keep doing now,
0:20:45 > 0:20:46turning toilets into bars.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- Yeah, there's one not far from here. - Yeah?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- It's a toilet. - That turned into a bar?
0:20:50 > 0:20:52It's called The Toilet, I think.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I think it is, actually, that's right!
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Where you go to the loo, God knows.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00You can go out on the street and do it up the side of a pub, like...
0:21:02 > 0:21:04There used to be a thing,
0:21:04 > 0:21:07when people were peeing up the sides of buildings, boys, let's be honest.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- Let's be honest, yeah. - Boys peeing outside buildings.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- And talented girls.- Yeah, and talented - very talented girls
0:21:12 > 0:21:14who were straight from Page 3,
0:21:14 > 0:21:16showing their arse and their tits at the same time.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Lots of London buildings had special tilted metal bars,
0:21:19 > 0:21:22so that if somebody did pee against it,
0:21:22 > 0:21:25the pee would splash back on the person's shoes.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28The most southerly public loo in Britain
0:21:28 > 0:21:30is on the island of the Minquiers.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Here is a picture of it. It says, "This toilet has the distinction
0:21:33 > 0:21:35"of being the most southern building in the British Isles.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39"Please use with care as the nearest alternative is in Jersey, which is 11 miles away."
0:21:39 > 0:21:40LAUGHTER
0:21:40 > 0:21:43It looks like those rocks are leaning against the toilet.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46It looks like they're queuing up, doesn't it?
0:21:46 > 0:21:49It does look like a queue, doesn't it, and they've solidified waiting.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51LAUGHTER
0:21:51 > 0:21:55"Oh, hello, we're the Minquiers.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57"Is there anyone in there?"
0:21:57 > 0:21:59That's a great title for a band.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02- "Hey, hey, we're The Minquiers." - "Hey, hey, we're The Minquiers."
0:22:02 > 0:22:06On a lighter note, who takes their mother-in-law to a lunatic asylum?
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- LAUGHTER - Ooh...
0:22:09 > 0:22:11- Terrible picture.- Look at us there.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- I'm just thinking of mother-in-law jokes now.- Go on, then.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Well, the Les Dawson one is the best mother...
0:22:15 > 0:22:17KLAXON Ah!
0:22:17 > 0:22:21- I haven't even told a joke! - APPLAUSE
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Damn you! That is not fair!
0:22:26 > 0:22:28He had the cl...,
0:22:28 > 0:22:31I was walking down the street with my wife
0:22:31 > 0:22:33and I saw my mother-in-law,
0:22:33 > 0:22:36and she was being beaten and robbed by six men.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38And my wife said, "Aren't you going to help?"
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- I said, "No, six should be enough." - LAUGHTER
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- AS LES DAWSON:- I knew the mother-in-law was around,
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- because all the mice were throwing themselves on the trap.- Yeah!
0:22:49 > 0:22:51- He's amazing, amazing. - Fantastic comic.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- Is this the old school... Like, the day out?- Yeah.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- Like you would take...- Yeah. - ..to watch.- Absolutely right.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58- It was just down the road from here, wasn't it? Bethlem Hospital.- Yeah.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00You could go and they had a viewing gallery,
0:23:00 > 0:23:02- where you used to watch the crazy people.- Yeah.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05In 19th-century America, if you could afford a honeymoon,
0:23:05 > 0:23:07you would go on a grand tour, like you'd go to Niagara Falls,
0:23:07 > 0:23:10but you would also take an excursion to an insane asylum, prisons,
0:23:10 > 0:23:13battlefields, homes for the deaf and dumb, orphanages -
0:23:13 > 0:23:16and it was normal practice to take your new in-laws along with you.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Can you imagine?
0:23:18 > 0:23:22It's funny how, like, there's a part of you that hears about that,
0:23:22 > 0:23:24and you suddenly think, "Oh, well, I'm glad we've moved on,"
0:23:24 > 0:23:27and then you think, "Isn't Big Brother still on the telly?"
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- Yeah, yeah. - And Britain's Got Talent auditions.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33- Yeah, I know! - It's pretty much the same thing.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I only actually watch those at the beginning,
0:23:35 > 0:23:38when you've got the nutters. "Where are you from?" "Hull."
0:23:38 > 0:23:41"Where are you from?" "Carlisle." "Where are you from?" "Narnia!"
0:23:41 > 0:23:42"Right, you're in."
0:23:42 > 0:23:44LAUGHTER
0:23:44 > 0:23:47So, odd outings, and odd days out, if you were interested -
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- sewage treatment works, for example. - Oh, yeah.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52The Sha Tin sewage works in Hong Kong
0:23:52 > 0:23:55offers, "Thematic tours, display panels,
0:23:55 > 0:23:57"model exhibitions and game booths,"
0:23:57 > 0:23:59as well as "stage performances,
0:23:59 > 0:24:01"a fun area for kids and photo-taking corners."
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Can you see the guy in the bottom right?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06LAUGHTER
0:24:06 > 0:24:09That really, that's very much like, "Oh, this is a terrible..."
0:24:09 > 0:24:11- Yeah!- "I thought it was a funny idea,
0:24:11 > 0:24:13"and now I'm here and it's bad."
0:24:13 > 0:24:15There's a treatment plant in New Zealand.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19"Sturdy, flat-soled and closed-in shoes are required,
0:24:19 > 0:24:20"and rain coats are recommended."
0:24:20 > 0:24:22AUDIENCE GROANS
0:24:22 > 0:24:24That sounds like they need a redesign,
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- if you've got to wear a raincoat.- Yeah.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28- Going on a log flume. - LAUGHTER
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Yeah. "Close your mouth!"
0:24:40 > 0:24:42The Dubbo Sewage Treatment Plant in New South Wales,
0:24:42 > 0:24:47their open day includes "spectacular drone footage plus a free barbecue."
0:24:47 > 0:24:49As the man in charge said, "I would be surprised
0:24:49 > 0:24:52"if we didn't have at least dozens of people through."
0:24:52 > 0:24:54LAUGHTER
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Other open days on offer, a halal abattoir in the West Midlands.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03A cigarette filter factory being demolished because of asbestos.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05- That is the one that you want to go and see.- Wow!
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- There's an open day there. - Yes.- You can go...
0:25:07 > 0:25:10- You can go.- Well, that's date night sorted.- Mmm.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12The council tip in Padworth, Berkshire holds a free
0:25:12 > 0:25:14family fun day.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15LAUGHTER
0:25:15 > 0:25:19A chance for children to sit in a bin lorry.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Now, here's something rather odd, who keeps their cheese in the bank?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24The Swiss.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26It should be, shouldn't it?
0:25:26 > 0:25:29You're not far off, though, it is about cheese and money.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32In this case, it is about overdrafts.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Since the 1950s, the regional banks in Emiliano have accepted
0:25:35 > 0:25:40Parmesan as collateral against overdrafts of cheese producers.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43The bank needs to help with cash flow, and so they accept young
0:25:43 > 0:25:45wheels of Parmesan as security.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48- What's the deal with the Parmesan? I like the taste of Parmesan.- Mmm.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50But it smells like sick, what's going on?
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Well, it does give off bacteria.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Cheese and the stuff that's growing in your feet
0:25:54 > 0:25:57is almost exactly the same kind of bacteria that it's giving off.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59I'm really working up an appetite.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01So next time the guy comes round, no.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03"Parmesan?" "No, you're all right, mate."
0:26:03 > 0:26:06"You're all right, but can I have a lick of your sock?"
0:26:06 > 0:26:09- The banks have special cheese vaults...- They actually take it?
0:26:09 > 0:26:12They take it. Millions of pounds' worth of Parmesan
0:26:12 > 0:26:14in a climate-controlled vault.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16There are specialist staff who clean the cheese
0:26:16 > 0:26:19and hit it with little metal hammers to make sure it hasn't gone soft.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21- To this day, they do this?- Yes.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24It is thought that without it, the Parmesan industry would have died
0:26:24 > 0:26:27because it takes so long for it to mature.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29As with any valuable commodity, of course,
0:26:29 > 0:26:31it's a wonderful thing for thieves.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Parmesan is the most stolen food on the planet.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37- Wow!- In fact, more than 3% of all cheese produced in the world
0:26:37 > 0:26:39is stolen each year.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40LAUGHTER
0:26:40 > 0:26:43And the most large-scale theft of cheese is Parmesan in Italy.
0:26:43 > 0:26:462013-15, six million euros' worth stolen,
0:26:46 > 0:26:48most notably from Italian bank vaults.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51So 2009, they tunnelled into a vault and made off with
0:26:51 > 0:26:54570, 40kg wheels of cheese.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Imagine being the kids of those robbers.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Every day... "What's for dinner?
0:26:58 > 0:26:59"Oh, you're joking!"
0:26:59 > 0:27:01LAUGHTER
0:27:01 > 0:27:03It's the most shoplifted item in Italy, Parmesan.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06It is 10% of all goods stolen from shops and, in fact,
0:27:06 > 0:27:09they've now started microchipping some cheeses
0:27:09 > 0:27:11to make them traceable.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- You can get it up your sleeve, I suppose.- Yeah.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15It's easy, it's a good shape.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18The world's most expensive cheese, Pule,
0:27:18 > 0:27:20anybody know what it's made from?
0:27:20 > 0:27:22It's from the Balkans. It's a creature that...
0:27:22 > 0:27:23A war criminal?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25It's a wa... LAUGHTER
0:27:29 > 0:27:31APPLAUSE
0:27:33 > 0:27:36It's made from the Balkan donkey's milk.
0:27:36 > 0:27:37- Oh.- Yeah.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40That sounds like a euphemism, doesn't it?
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- LAUGHTER - Donkey cheese.- Donkey cheese.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44- About £1,000 a kilo.- Wow!
0:27:44 > 0:27:46The weirdest and the most disgusting is casu marzu.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48It's a sheep cheese from Sardinia.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50It means rotten cheese
0:27:50 > 0:27:53and it is literally filled with maggots.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55AUDIENCE GROANS
0:27:55 > 0:27:57There's live insect larvae in there
0:27:57 > 0:28:01and locals consider it unsafe to eat once the larvae have died.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04So it's served while these translucent white worms,
0:28:04 > 0:28:06about a third of an inch long,
0:28:06 > 0:28:08- are still squiggling.- Wow.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Some people clear the maggots from the cheese before consuming,
0:28:11 > 0:28:13others think, "Get right in there!"
0:28:13 > 0:28:14- You don't have to eat everything. - No.
0:28:14 > 0:28:15LAUGHTER
0:28:15 > 0:28:18The people who leave the maggots, they have to cover the cheese
0:28:18 > 0:28:20with their hands because when disturbed,
0:28:20 > 0:28:22the maggots can jump six inches in the air.
0:28:22 > 0:28:23Stop it!
0:28:23 > 0:28:25It's like my dad still eats tripe.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27I'm like, "Dad, we're not even at war."
0:28:27 > 0:28:28LAUGHTER
0:28:30 > 0:28:33"People are making food now that's nice."
0:28:33 > 0:28:35So another way to secure your overdraft,
0:28:35 > 0:28:37hunting, shooting, fishing types in the UK
0:28:37 > 0:28:39would deposit their valuable shotguns after the end
0:28:39 > 0:28:41of the shooting season.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44With their stockbrokers they would buy shares,
0:28:44 > 0:28:46and this was a perfectly reasonable way to do it.
0:28:46 > 0:28:47When the shooting season reopened
0:28:47 > 0:28:49they would sell their shares and buy their guns back.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51That was another way of having an overdraft.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54So you go in with a gun and you say, "Give me some money?"
0:28:54 > 0:28:57- It seems like it. - It feels like an armed robber
0:28:57 > 0:28:59that's sort of lost his bottle.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01They walk into a bank with a shotgun and they go,
0:29:01 > 0:29:02"What are you doing?"
0:29:02 > 0:29:04"Er, I want to buy some shares."
0:29:07 > 0:29:09Then he just styled it out.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11He went, "Yeah, yeah, I thought maybe you could just..."
0:29:11 > 0:29:13"Why is it loaded?" "No reason."
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Anyway, moving on.
0:29:16 > 0:29:20Which is the odd one out of these four?
0:29:20 > 0:29:22Odd, odd, odd or odd?
0:29:22 > 0:29:24Um...
0:29:24 > 0:29:25Er...
0:29:25 > 0:29:27KLAXON
0:29:28 > 0:29:30It feels like this is...
0:29:30 > 0:29:31I can't... Yeah.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34I think the last one we pick is going to be the good one, right?
0:29:34 > 0:29:35- Do you think?- One.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37KLAXON
0:29:38 > 0:29:42Does someone get paid when that sound effect goes off?
0:29:42 > 0:29:44KLAXON
0:29:44 > 0:29:45LAUGHTER
0:29:45 > 0:29:47APPLAUSE
0:29:50 > 0:29:53They've been waiting 15 years for that gag!
0:29:56 > 0:29:58So they are all acronyms.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01The number one ODD is One-Day Decorating.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03And this is a service you can get, particularly in California.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05It's called the One-Day Decorating.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07Anybody have any idea what that might be?
0:30:07 > 0:30:10Um, decorating in a single day.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12No, it's slightly weirder than that.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15It's professional furniture rearranging.
0:30:15 > 0:30:19- Ah.- So, it's a person who comes in, looks at how you've had it for ages
0:30:19 > 0:30:20and goes, "It's not working."
0:30:20 > 0:30:22And just moves everything around.
0:30:22 > 0:30:23That's it.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26It's a rearrangement specialist.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28- I like that.- Yeah. OK, here's the next one.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31Outdoors And Dirty - they're pastimes for the person
0:30:31 > 0:30:32who likes to be active.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35That's presumably on, like, dating sites and things.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37- It's things like camping and hiking and climbing.- OK.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39Paintballing, that sort of thing.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42The other that we had was the Official Designated Driver.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45This is an idea that began in Scandinavia as early as the 1920s
0:30:45 > 0:30:47but in the 1980s, the US had a campaign
0:30:47 > 0:30:50led by the Harvard School of Public Health
0:30:50 > 0:30:51because at the time drink-driving
0:30:51 > 0:30:53was one of the leading causes of death in the US,
0:30:53 > 0:30:54aged between 15 and 24.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57What they did is, they approached Hollywood script writers,
0:30:57 > 0:30:59people writing sitcoms and movies and so on
0:30:59 > 0:31:02and they got them to put lines in.
0:31:02 > 0:31:04So he'd say to somebody, "Would you like a drink?"
0:31:04 > 0:31:08"No, thanks, I'll just have a soft drink because I'm driving these guys home."
0:31:08 > 0:31:10That was how they introduced the idea
0:31:10 > 0:31:12of the Official Designated Driver.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15When it became part of culture, death figures dropped dramatically,
0:31:15 > 0:31:17it really did work. So the odd one out, obviously,
0:31:17 > 0:31:19- is the other ODD.- Ah.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21How could we possibly have got this?
0:31:21 > 0:31:23It's the word "odd" four times.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26- I know. The point of the game is for you not to win.- Oh.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28LAUGHTER
0:31:29 > 0:31:32It is an actual thing, Oppositional Defiance Disorder.
0:31:32 > 0:31:33It is the odd one out
0:31:33 > 0:31:36because it's the only bona fide medical condition.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38And, I don't really get this, OK,
0:31:38 > 0:31:41because it's when children, or teenagers exhibit
0:31:41 > 0:31:42an ongoing pattern of defiance.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44- Is it teenagers being...?- Yeah.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46You know, argumentative, angry.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50- So you can actually go and see a doctor...- My child's a bit ODD.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52- You child, ODD.- Yeah.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54Just, it's a diagnosis.
0:31:54 > 0:31:56It turns out that ODD was the odd one out.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58What were the odds?
0:31:58 > 0:32:00LAUGHTER
0:32:00 > 0:32:03Now, what do vegetarian goatsuckers eat?
0:32:03 > 0:32:05LAUGHTER
0:32:05 > 0:32:09- Right, wow... - Can you show that on television?
0:32:09 > 0:32:11I think that's taking vaping too far.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14Is that a goat bagpipe?
0:32:14 > 0:32:16It is a goat bagpipe.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18He's done something odd to his hair.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20Yeah, his hair, that's the problem with that picture.
0:32:20 > 0:32:21LAUGHTER
0:32:23 > 0:32:26So vegetarian goatsuckers, what do they eat?
0:32:26 > 0:32:27He must eat the rest of the goat, surely,
0:32:27 > 0:32:29before it becomes his instrument?
0:32:29 > 0:32:31It's a vegetarian goatsucker.
0:32:31 > 0:32:33- VICTORIA:- So...
0:32:33 > 0:32:34- Not goats.- It's no use saying that.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36What's a goatsucker?
0:32:36 > 0:32:39- It's a kind of bird, it's an order of birds called goatsuckers...- Oh.
0:32:39 > 0:32:40..and they were named
0:32:40 > 0:32:43because there was an ancient belief that they lived nocturnally
0:32:43 > 0:32:44sucking the milk from the teats of goats,
0:32:44 > 0:32:46- which sent them blind. - Ooh, God!- Ooh, hello.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49- Feels like a fun-size owl.- Well...
0:32:49 > 0:32:51Like, if you're like, "Oh, I want to get an owl,
0:32:51 > 0:32:52- "but I haven't got the space."- Yeah.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54LAUGHTER
0:32:54 > 0:32:55"I'll get one of these."
0:32:55 > 0:32:58They're called oilbirds, also known as guacharo,
0:32:58 > 0:33:02and they are the only vegetarian species of goatsuckers.
0:33:02 > 0:33:03Most goatsuckers eat insects.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05These oilbirds eat fruit.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Sorry, you said that like it's like a huge surprise to us.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09- What?- We only just heard they existed,
0:33:09 > 0:33:12and you went, "These are the only ones that are vegetarians."
0:33:12 > 0:33:14Well, I've just found out. I mean, I literally couldn't care less.
0:33:14 > 0:33:15LAUGHTER
0:33:15 > 0:33:18And I'm speaking on behalf of everyone in the room
0:33:18 > 0:33:21when I say, "No, really, these are the only vegetarian ones?!
0:33:21 > 0:33:23"Wow, let's get this down."
0:33:24 > 0:33:27What are you talking about? You've lost your mind!
0:33:30 > 0:33:32They live in caves in the northern part of South America.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35Well, no wonder they're vegetarian - what is there to eat in there?
0:33:35 > 0:33:38Well, the thing about them is that they get so fat
0:33:38 > 0:33:42from the fruit that they eat that they become incredibly plump
0:33:42 > 0:33:44and there's an annual oil harvest,
0:33:44 > 0:33:46where people take the plump babies in their thousands,
0:33:46 > 0:33:49the local people, and they render them for the oil.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51Because apparently, it's excellent for fuel, and also for cooking.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53Do they still suck the goats?
0:33:53 > 0:33:55Nobody sucks goats, it's...
0:33:55 > 0:33:57There is no goat-sucking.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00- How do you get the oil out of the bird?- This is like a...!
0:34:00 > 0:34:02Well, you can render any bird for its fat.
0:34:02 > 0:34:03If you've ever cooked a duck,
0:34:03 > 0:34:05you can get an enormous amount of duck fat out of it.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08- Imagine a world where I've never cooked a duck.- OK.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10- LAUGHTER - Imagine - I mean, it's...
0:34:12 > 0:34:13I mean, it's like...
0:34:13 > 0:34:16We're not really on the same wavelength here at all.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19But fat runs off a chicken.
0:34:19 > 0:34:20Have you cooked a bird of any kind?
0:34:20 > 0:34:23- You'll have a drip tray.- Yes. Yes, you have a drip tray.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25- You've got one under your bed.- Yeah.
0:34:25 > 0:34:26LAUGHTER
0:34:28 > 0:34:29APPLAUSE
0:34:33 > 0:34:36Do you remember when Sandi had a breakdown on television
0:34:36 > 0:34:38and she was talking about goatsuckers?
0:34:38 > 0:34:40And then we just gave up, we asked about three times,
0:34:40 > 0:34:42"What has this goat got to do with anything?"
0:34:42 > 0:34:44and she just went, "Oh, it's a bird,"
0:34:44 > 0:34:47and then she kept on talking about goats for ages before,
0:34:47 > 0:34:48but then we just let it go.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50You could look back on it as the tipping point,
0:34:50 > 0:34:51they say that was it, it was one show too many -
0:34:51 > 0:34:53and she explained to everyone,
0:34:53 > 0:34:54"It's the only vegetarian goatsucker,
0:34:54 > 0:34:56"but it doesn't suck goats, doesn't do it,"
0:34:56 > 0:34:59- and she thought it made sense. - Yeah, and then...and then she was...
0:34:59 > 0:35:02..she was someone's mother-in-law, and then she ended up in an asylum.
0:35:02 > 0:35:03LAUGHTER
0:35:03 > 0:35:05And we went to visit her. Yeah.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08It was an ancient belief that they sucked
0:35:08 > 0:35:11the teats of goats for the milk, but they don't.
0:35:11 > 0:35:15Sometimes, in the old days, they got things wrong.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18I'd quite like to live in a cave.
0:35:18 > 0:35:19Would you? Why?
0:35:19 > 0:35:22I don't know, I always like being in a cave.
0:35:24 > 0:35:27Whenever I'm in a cave, I feel quite relaxed.
0:35:27 > 0:35:30This is the weirdest therapy session of all time.
0:35:30 > 0:35:34I went into some really big caves once, and it was great in there.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36LAUGHTER
0:35:38 > 0:35:41I'd say whatever Sandi's got is catching.
0:35:41 > 0:35:42LAUGHTER
0:35:42 > 0:35:44And do you know what?
0:35:44 > 0:35:47If my calculations are correct, I think the wind's blowing that way.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50I don't think Jason's got much hope.
0:35:50 > 0:35:51But you talk about the things that -
0:35:51 > 0:35:54you say they're called goatsuckers and you don't believe me,
0:35:54 > 0:35:56- there are... - Oh, we're back to this, are we?
0:35:56 > 0:35:59I mean, God bless Alan for taking one for the team,
0:35:59 > 0:36:03but you really... Oh, yeah, no, back to the goatsuckers, yeah,
0:36:03 > 0:36:06let's pull this round, because this lot can't believe it.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09There is a thing that's also known as an oilbird,
0:36:09 > 0:36:12but the type of bird it is a goatsucker.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14That's just the - what they became called
0:36:14 > 0:36:16even though it isn't actually the...
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Hundreds, thousands of years ago somebody went,
0:36:18 > 0:36:22- "I bet they suck the teats of goats."- Yes, exactly.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24- "Let's call them goatsuckers." - Yes, and it stuck.
0:36:24 > 0:36:26Everyone else went, "But they don't do that."
0:36:26 > 0:36:28- "I've named them now!"- Yes.
0:36:28 > 0:36:32"OK? I've written it down in the bird book!"
0:36:32 > 0:36:33LAUGHTER
0:36:34 > 0:36:37It's like that joke, "You shag one sheep..."
0:36:37 > 0:36:38Yeah, exactly.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42One of them mistook a goat's nipple for a berry...
0:36:42 > 0:36:45..and the whole species was named.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48Right, moving on.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51The oilbird is the only vegetarian goatsucker.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54It eats nothing but fruit. Right.
0:36:54 > 0:36:56Let us move on to the outer limits of knowledge,
0:36:56 > 0:36:58the odd world of General Ignorance.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00Fingers on buzzers, please.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03How many time zones are there in China?
0:37:03 > 0:37:04Ooh.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06Yes, Jimmy?
0:37:06 > 0:37:07One.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10- Yes.- Come on! - You're absolutely right, one.
0:37:10 > 0:37:11APPLAUSE
0:37:13 > 0:37:16- So...- No, no, no, don't even explain, let's just...
0:37:16 > 0:37:18Let's just enjoy that moment for a second.
0:37:18 > 0:37:20I mean, I've never got anything on this bloody show.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23- You're absolutely right.- It's one, actually.- Why do you think that?
0:37:23 > 0:37:26Well, do you know what? That's not important. What matters is...
0:37:26 > 0:37:27LAUGHTER
0:37:27 > 0:37:29- ..there's one time zone in China. - Yeah.
0:37:29 > 0:37:31- You can take that to the bank.- Yeah.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34I imagine the Communist Party decided what the time was
0:37:34 > 0:37:36- and that was it.- Yeah. You're absolutely right.
0:37:36 > 0:37:37So, given the size of the nation,
0:37:37 > 0:37:40- you would think that it would be many different...- At least four.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42At least four - but it's always Beijing time,
0:37:42 > 0:37:44no matter where you are. So, if it is noon in Beijing,
0:37:44 > 0:37:46then 3,000 miles away, it is also noon.
0:37:46 > 0:37:47It was standardised, time, in 1949,
0:37:47 > 0:37:49following the revolution and the civil war.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52Are there people in the middle of the night forcing lunch down them?
0:37:52 > 0:37:55- Yes.- "Ooh, lunchtime again."
0:37:55 > 0:37:57HE YAWNS Yes.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59In the summer, there are places where the sun sets
0:37:59 > 0:38:01in the middle of the night, and then in the winter
0:38:01 > 0:38:04the sunrise might not come until ten o'clock in the morning.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06Hang on, what's this? Is this an eye cutting out salon?
0:38:06 > 0:38:07That's right.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09LAUGHTER
0:38:10 > 0:38:12He's the village blinder.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17I'm looking for a haircut,
0:38:17 > 0:38:19have you got anything near an oil pipeline?
0:38:20 > 0:38:23First adoption of standard time in Britain?
0:38:23 > 0:38:25- Why did we adopt it? - Was that wartime?
0:38:25 > 0:38:27No. 1847, so we're talking about the railways.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30It's because there's no point in having the railways
0:38:30 > 0:38:32- if you're all on different times. - Oh.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34You say that, but I don't know if you've used Southern Rail...
0:38:34 > 0:38:36LAUGHTER
0:38:38 > 0:38:39GMT. You start to get it -
0:38:39 > 0:38:421855, about 98% of the country is using it,
0:38:42 > 0:38:45and then it became Britain's legal time in 1880 -
0:38:45 > 0:38:47but there were still places,
0:38:47 > 0:38:49some British clocks have got two minute hands,
0:38:49 > 0:38:52so there is a still working public clock
0:38:52 > 0:38:53over the old Corn Exchange in Bristol,
0:38:53 > 0:38:56and it has a black minute hand for GMT
0:38:56 > 0:38:59and it has a red minute hand for what was known as Bristol Time,
0:38:59 > 0:39:01and it's ten minutes behind,
0:39:01 > 0:39:03and that clock is still working.
0:39:03 > 0:39:04Ten minutes behind!
0:39:04 > 0:39:06- I've done some gigs in Bristol, that makes sense.- Yeah.
0:39:06 > 0:39:08LAUGHTER
0:39:08 > 0:39:10Sometimes they don't get it straight away.
0:39:10 > 0:39:11RENEWED LAUGHTER
0:39:11 > 0:39:13I think they might be in.
0:39:15 > 0:39:19- That reaction.- What should I do if my child has got flat feet?
0:39:19 > 0:39:22Oh, store them on a flat surface.
0:39:22 > 0:39:24LAUGHTER
0:39:24 > 0:39:25Why would I mind?
0:39:25 > 0:39:28Ah, well, you're absolutely right, it doesn't matter.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30- Nothing, nothing. - It doesn't matter in the slightest.
0:39:30 > 0:39:32- I've got very flat feet. - Yes, it doesn't matter.
0:39:32 > 0:39:33I mean it doesn't matter to me.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35I don't give a damn about your feet. LAUGHTER
0:39:35 > 0:39:37You've... You've really changed.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39You were super-friendly earlier.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Why has it ever mattered?
0:39:41 > 0:39:43You used to be able to get out of military service.
0:39:43 > 0:39:46- Yeah.- Pike in Dad's Army - it was his feet, wasn't it?
0:39:46 > 0:39:48- Yeah.- That and his stupidity.
0:39:48 > 0:39:49LAUGHTER
0:39:49 > 0:39:51It's an old wives' tale, and we have no idea
0:39:51 > 0:39:54why both the medical and the military establishment
0:39:54 > 0:39:56decided to adopt it as something that was important -
0:39:56 > 0:39:58and you could indeed be given exclusion from service
0:39:58 > 0:40:00in the Armed Forces because you had flat feet.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02- Not any more. - Those are nice little feet.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04- They're so... I love babies' feet. - Mm.- They're just so...
0:40:04 > 0:40:06Like little slices of rare roast beef.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08LAUGHTER
0:40:08 > 0:40:10OK, that wasn't where I was going, but, yes.
0:40:10 > 0:40:11LAUGHTER
0:40:11 > 0:40:14- JASON:- I've got a feeling the wind's blowing the other way now.
0:40:14 > 0:40:15LAUGHTER
0:40:17 > 0:40:19It's really, it used to be seen as a disability.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Some people thought it needed treatment, even surgery,
0:40:21 > 0:40:24- but nowadays it's...- That would feel like taking the piss,
0:40:24 > 0:40:26if you parked in a disabled bay and went, "Yeah, I've got..."
0:40:26 > 0:40:29- Flat feet, mate.- Flat feet. - "I've got very flat feet."
0:40:29 > 0:40:32What we think now is that feet just come in different shapes and sizes.
0:40:32 > 0:40:33- That'll be it.- Like ears and noses,
0:40:33 > 0:40:35they come - you know, there's no right or wrong.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38It's possible that the whole concept of arched feet
0:40:38 > 0:40:39is just a cosmetic ideal.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41People thought it was rather beautiful.
0:40:41 > 0:40:42I don't really get the foot fetish thing.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45- Do you not? - Like, how did that start?
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Well, there was a goatsucker and...
0:40:47 > 0:40:48LAUGHTER
0:40:48 > 0:40:49APPLAUSE
0:40:53 > 0:40:56The best treatment for flat feet is no treatment at all.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58When a boa constrictor squeezes its prey,
0:40:58 > 0:41:00what is the cause of death?
0:41:00 > 0:41:01Oh, that's so horrible.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03No, snakes are brilliant.
0:41:03 > 0:41:04It'll be something creepy.
0:41:04 > 0:41:07- Yeah.- Snakes are real murderers.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10Is the answer, you're beaten to death with a candlestick?
0:41:10 > 0:41:13Oh! In the library by the boa constrictor.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16They are the absolute Agatha Christie of killers.
0:41:16 > 0:41:18Do you know, I normally quite like snakes,
0:41:18 > 0:41:20- but that one is just rude.- Yeah.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23Don't they, don't they sort of trigger a heart attack?
0:41:23 > 0:41:25- Yes, that is exactly right. - Is that their thing?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:41:25 > 0:41:27It used to be thought that they squeezed so hard
0:41:27 > 0:41:29that the victim couldn't breathe,
0:41:29 > 0:41:31and that each time the prey exhaled,
0:41:31 > 0:41:32the snake would tighten its grip
0:41:32 > 0:41:34until they couldn't breathe any more -
0:41:34 > 0:41:35but what they've now discovered is,
0:41:35 > 0:41:37it's stopping the blood flow to the vital organs.
0:41:37 > 0:41:38They've done these studies
0:41:38 > 0:41:40to know how the snake knows when to stop squeezing.
0:41:40 > 0:41:44Dickinson College in Pennsylvania, they gave their boa constrictor
0:41:44 > 0:41:49dead rats into which little robot hearts had been inserted.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51So, although the rat was dead, it still had a heartbeat,
0:41:51 > 0:41:53and the snakes didn't relax their grip
0:41:53 > 0:41:55until they turned off the heartbeat.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58They seemed to have the ability to work out, to monitor the heartbeat.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01They're like a, they're like a demon blood pressure cuff.
0:42:01 > 0:42:02LAUGHTER
0:42:02 > 0:42:03Listen to the things people have done,
0:42:03 > 0:42:05and you haven't even cooked a duck!
0:42:05 > 0:42:07LAUGHTER
0:42:07 > 0:42:09APPLAUSE
0:42:14 > 0:42:18That's told me! That's told me.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Time to look at some odd numbers.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22It is the final scores -
0:42:22 > 0:42:26and our winner, with minus four, this is very exciting,
0:42:26 > 0:42:27is Victoria.
0:42:27 > 0:42:30- Oh, fair play. - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:42:33 > 0:42:36In joint second place, with minus eight,
0:42:36 > 0:42:38it's Jason and Alan.
0:42:38 > 0:42:40- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - Oh!- That's good.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42We came second.
0:42:44 > 0:42:45I've never even cooked a duck!
0:42:45 > 0:42:47Or sucked a goat.
0:42:47 > 0:42:48In...
0:42:48 > 0:42:50- LAUGHTER - Well...
0:42:51 > 0:42:54- Too much information. - I had a fabulous gap year,
0:42:54 > 0:42:55I don't want to discuss it.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58With minus 23, last place goes to Jimmy!
0:42:58 > 0:43:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:07 > 0:43:08So, Victoria takes home
0:43:08 > 0:43:10our objectionable object of the week.
0:43:10 > 0:43:14It's this lovely piece of outsider art by her six-year-old.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16APPLAUSE
0:43:17 > 0:43:20So, it's thanks to Victoria, Jimmy, Jason and Alan -
0:43:20 > 0:43:23and we leave you with a memory of Winston Churchill,
0:43:23 > 0:43:26who was not only a great orator, but a great student of oratory.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28He used to rehearse his speeches constantly
0:43:28 > 0:43:29to make them sound natural.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31He'd practise in the bath, for instance,
0:43:31 > 0:43:33and it's said that the first time his valet heard him doing this,
0:43:33 > 0:43:35he asked, "Were you speaking to me, sir?"
0:43:35 > 0:43:38"No," said Churchill, "I was addressing the House of Commons."
0:43:38 > 0:43:39Good night.
0:43:39 > 0:43:40APPLAUSE