0:00:23 > 0:00:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:32 > 0:00:36Goodbye...and thanks.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Thanks for coming to IQ.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Tonight, we're in opposite world,
0:00:41 > 0:00:43where everything you thought was right
0:00:43 > 0:00:46is either wrong or left, and vice versa.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Or it might be the other way round.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Anyway, up in reverse order,
0:00:50 > 0:00:51these are not my guests.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53On the contrary, Sara Pascoe.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:58 > 0:00:59No way, it's Jimmy Carr.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:04 > 0:01:06It definitely can't be Colin Lane.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:10 > 0:01:14And I can't believe it's not Davies Alan, but it is.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:22 > 0:01:24So, because we're doing opposites tonight,
0:01:24 > 0:01:27every time you get something wrong, you get a bonus.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29- Ah.- That's good, isn't it?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Alan's big night.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Let's listen to the buzzers. Sara goes...
0:01:36 > 0:01:39# Night and day... #
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- That's nice. Fits with our theme. - Classy. Beautiful.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43That's very nice, isn't it? Colin goes...
0:01:43 > 0:01:48# Ebony and ivory... #
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Aah, I want a drink now.
0:01:50 > 0:01:51Jimmy goes...
0:01:51 > 0:01:56# Love and marriage, love and marriage... #
0:01:56 > 0:01:58They're not really opposites, are they?
0:01:58 > 0:02:02- What, love and marriage?- Yeah. - If you're doing it right.- Oh.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04And Alan goes...
0:02:04 > 0:02:06# In, out, in, out
0:02:06 > 0:02:07# In, out, in, out
0:02:07 > 0:02:10# In, out, in, out Shake it all about... #
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Very base level Kama Sutra there.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Oh, dear.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27"In, out, in, out, in, out, shake it all about," you'll be fine.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Anyway, rather than getting to business,
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- we should do the opposite and have some fun...- Woohoo!
0:02:33 > 0:02:35..so I've got some alcopops, like this.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37I've got some... Look at these.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- There's your balloons.- Thank you.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43And I've got fun chocolates.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45There's another balloon for you.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47OK. So, here's the thing...
0:02:47 > 0:02:49- Sorry, I've dropped mine. - ..it's party time...
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Oh, you've dropped your balloon.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Hang on a minute.- Jimmy's going to be a silly billy.- No, don't.
0:02:57 > 0:02:58APPLAUSE
0:03:01 > 0:03:02I'll do it.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05OK, thanks, Colin.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- Sorry.- Yes?- If you just...
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Could you hold up the red balloon for a second there?
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Cos it'll look like a Banksy.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15There you go.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22That took the... Party time, OK?
0:03:22 > 0:03:23Oh, yeah, here we go.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26You are driving home from the shops, you are so excited.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28- That's good, isn't it, Colin? - Oh, that's me!
0:03:28 > 0:03:30ALL: Aww!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32You're so excited that, unfortunately,
0:03:32 > 0:03:33- you crash into a tree.- Oh.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Yeah.- And that's why you used my face?
0:03:38 > 0:03:41In Australia, they drive right-hand drive, right, Col?
0:03:41 > 0:03:45- Yes, they do.- So technically... - So it's technically wrong?
0:03:45 > 0:03:47- Yeah.- And in that photo, I probably miss the tree,
0:03:47 > 0:03:49if you see the perspective.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- Let us imagine, you've crashed into a tree...- Yeah.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55..I want to know what happens to the helium balloons?
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- They...- Well, I'm more worried about him!
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Yeah. What about me? What about me?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- Yes.- Yeah, that's quite heartless.- Yeah, sorry.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03If the helium balloons pop and then you ring the ambulance,
0:04:03 > 0:04:06they won't believe you, they'll think you're doing a prank call...
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- That's right.- ..because you'll sound like a silly boy.- Yes.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10Alan, what were you going to say?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13- They're going to keep going. - Which way?
0:04:13 > 0:04:14Up?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16KLAXON BLARES
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Is it something to do with the air bag?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Cos the airbag's going to get released
0:04:25 > 0:04:27and then there's another gas in the car.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28So, do they fall in love...
0:04:29 > 0:04:30..and run away together?
0:04:30 > 0:04:34You look like a snooker player on a night out.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42No, but you're on the right... No, it's nothing to do with the air bag.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44- OK.- So, helium less dense than air. - Yeah.- All right.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46So, everything else is going to get thrown forward,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48the alcopops and chocolates are going to get thrown forward.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50- They stay still. - KLAXON BLARES
0:04:53 > 0:04:55This is a stupid show!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- They go down, they go down. - No.- They go backwards.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- They go down. They go down. - They go backwards!
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Backwards.- They go backwards, they go backwards.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04# Ivory... #
0:05:04 > 0:05:05They go backwards.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Then, when you accelerate,
0:05:07 > 0:05:09what's going to happen to the helium balloon?
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- Cos the helium balloon's gone backwards.- They'll go sideways.
0:05:12 > 0:05:13- They're going to go...- Up.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15- ..the same, they're going to go forwards.- Forwards.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Yes, they're going to go forwards. Exactly.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20OK, so enough party time, let's put things away.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Cos there's a limit to the amount of fun you're allowed. There you go.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Where do you want to put it? Oh, under there.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Then the set will gradually levitate.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32- It's going well so far.- I know.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43You just look, like, a bit washed up, things aren't so good.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47"I used to be someone, now I just play for cash in pubs."
0:05:49 > 0:05:50I'll be happy.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53I thought you looked like a really ambitious porn star.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01Like I would know!
0:06:03 > 0:06:06OK, so we're doing opposites, what's the opposite of monopoly?
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Fun.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- The danger of thinking it's fun. - Yeah. Extra point.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15OK, the actual word "monopoly"?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Panoply is what you think it's going to be.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19That's like a display of pineapple, is it?
0:06:20 > 0:06:22So what does a monopoly mean?
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- One single...- Supplier.- OK. - Single supplier.- OK.- OK.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30- So mono...poly?- It's what we long for in the railways again.- Yes.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34So, monopoly, a single supplier holding consumers to ransom.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36So, what we're looking for is a single consumer
0:06:36 > 0:06:38who can hold suppliers to ransom. It's called a monopsony.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40It is the opposite of monopoly, it's possibly...
0:06:40 > 0:06:43I love the way you kept going with that question
0:06:43 > 0:06:46and that, never in a million years, were we going to get it.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49I did economics A-level for a year and that's what it felt like.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52So, what's an example?
0:06:52 > 0:06:56So, the BBC, for example, has a monopsony on radio drama, right?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Lots of people want to write it, lots of people want to be in it,
0:06:58 > 0:07:01but, pretty much, the BBC are the only people who produce it.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03So, there are lots and lots of suppliers,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05- but there's only one consumer. - And one listener.
0:07:08 > 0:07:09She's very lonely.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- She's very lonely.- She's doing the washing-up, she's fine.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15She can't afford a telly. She just can't afford one.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17She won't be seeing this.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21So, a single passenger, say, disembarking from a train,
0:07:21 > 0:07:23and there's lots of taxis waiting,
0:07:23 > 0:07:26that would be another example. There's only one consumer
0:07:26 > 0:07:29and everybody is vying for their custom, so it's a monopsony.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32So, monopsony is the opposite of monopoly, but nobody ever uses it.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35And there are lots of words called orphaned negatives.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37So, these are words that have the opposites,
0:07:37 > 0:07:39but nobody uses them, they are now obsolete.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43So, what would be the opposite of ineffable?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46- Effable.- Effable.- Effable. - Effable, but nobody ever uses it,
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- it's a perfectly good word, isn't it?- I've heard people say that.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Effable? It's not effable?- "Oh, he's got nice trousers on today.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53He's totally eff-able.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56In that sense.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57APPLAUSE
0:07:59 > 0:08:01In polite company.
0:08:01 > 0:08:02Yeah, well, funny and...
0:08:02 > 0:08:04..thank you.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06I really appreciate it.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07They're very roomy.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09But there are a lot of good ones.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Incessant, so cessant.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Nobody talks about cessant any more.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14There's a weird thing about this word, OK?
0:08:14 > 0:08:16What it tells you in the dictionary
0:08:16 > 0:08:18is that "cessant" hasn't been used since 1701.
0:08:18 > 0:08:19What happened that year?
0:08:19 > 0:08:22They thought, "Do you know? I'm done with that word."
0:08:22 > 0:08:24What about, for you, what about disdain?
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Oh, yes, the opposite of being a good Dane, yes, a disdain.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31ALAN AND COLIN: Dis Dane, dat Dane.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- Dis Dane.- Yeah.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40The opposite of insipid?
0:08:40 > 0:08:41Sipid.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43It is just sipid.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44- Sipid used to mean savoury.- Oh.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46So people would say something was sipid.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Does anyone ever say beknownst?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49- Unbeknownst.- Unbeknownst to me.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Beknownst to me.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Nocent, anybody?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Yes-cent.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- Innocent.- Innocent.- Innocent, so a nocent... Yeah, a nocent
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- was a criminal.- Oh.- In-nocent. - Until about the 17th century,
0:09:04 > 0:09:06so nocentem, Latin meaning "to harm".
0:09:06 > 0:09:07Is nonchalant...
0:09:07 > 0:09:09- chalant?- Chalant. I suppose...
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- Chalant.- Yes. I'm going to refer to you as chalant, I like that.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14- I think that sounds rather good. - Chalant.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Yeah, chalant and effable.
0:09:19 > 0:09:20Stop it, you.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22To be fair, Jimmy, I had to have it pointed out to me.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32You know, the only downside to that with Jimmy is,
0:09:32 > 0:09:35he does have to keep one foot on the floor at all times.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41Well, someone has to keep one foot on the floor or everyone falls over.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43OK.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Take that away with you as a thought.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Inflammable?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- Oh, I hate... Inflammable and flammable?- Hmm.- Same thing.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55It is exactly the same thing, it's not an orphaned negative at all.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57In fact, the opposite of flammable is non-flammable.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59"Explosif."
0:09:59 > 0:10:01- I beg your pardon? - Just... Just reading.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02Oh, explosif.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07It used to be inflammable cos it comes from the Latin inflammare.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09But they adopted flammable deliberately in the 20th century,
0:10:09 > 0:10:11because, honestly, inflammable seemed ambiguous,
0:10:11 > 0:10:13so that is one of the reasons why we now say flammable
0:10:13 > 0:10:15- and then non-flammable.- Oh.- Right.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Anybody know what a contronym is?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Oh, so it's like synonym?
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Yeah?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- Antonym?- Antonyms, yes.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Somebody who's constantly contrary.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28So, it's a word that is also its own opposite.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31So, screen, which means to show - like screen a film -
0:10:31 > 0:10:32and screen also means to hide.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- Yeah, hide. That's nice. - Another example, bound.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37So fastened to the spot and also heading somewhere.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Oh, that's good, isn't it?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- That's really nice.- They're good, aren't they?- Yes.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Fast, so moving quickly, and stuck and unable to move. It's the two...
0:10:44 > 0:10:46And also, I always with fast food, to fast is not to eat.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50- And then also to eat loads really cheaply.- Yeah, there you go.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- Contronyms... I think we may need marijuana for this.- Yeah.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57It appears to me like this should be a conversation that happens like,
0:10:57 > 0:11:01- "Yeah, man, fast."- Yeah.- Yeah. - "Yeah."- "Cos it's like..."
0:11:01 > 0:11:03"But, no, man, fast food."
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I love that your impression of someone on drugs
0:11:06 > 0:11:07means you've never taken them.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12- You can have stoned...- Yeah. - ..as in stoned.- Yeah?
0:11:12 > 0:11:17And stoned as in what happens to you in some places if you're stoned.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21- Yes.- Do you see?- Yes. - See my meaning?
0:11:21 > 0:11:22Antigrams.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Anybody know what an antigram is?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26It is the opposite of a gram.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30So, these are words where, if you do an anagram,
0:11:30 > 0:11:34the anagram itself has the opposite meaning to the original word.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36- So...- Impossible!- Whoa!
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Yeah. Dormitories, tidier rooms, is one, there's one.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Customers, I like this one,
0:11:40 > 0:11:42the anagram is store scum.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46APPLAUSE
0:11:47 > 0:11:50There's a few people out there work in retail.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Here's another one, an antigram.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57A volunteer fireman -
0:11:57 > 0:11:58I never run to a flame.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02And forty-five is an anagram
0:12:02 > 0:12:04of over fifty.
0:12:06 > 0:12:07That's just a woman lying, basically.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Now, you need to sort the sheep from the goats.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14So, let's play...
0:12:21 > 0:12:24This has really dumbed down, hasn't it?
0:12:24 > 0:12:26I like it, I like it.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28This show used to be something. I mean...
0:12:28 > 0:12:31What is the difference between a sheep and a goat?
0:12:31 > 0:12:34I think it's something that they do, rather than what they look like.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- OK. What do you think it is that they do?- Jumping.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40I think... I love that clip so much when people are doing yoga...
0:12:40 > 0:12:41- Yeah.- ..and the goats are jumping on them.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43And I've never seen a sheep...
0:12:45 > 0:12:47- Seriously? - You've not seen this?- No...
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Basically, there's all these people and they're doing downward dogs,
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- and then tiny goats... - I'm going to stop you right there.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57- They're doing yoga poses... - Oh, I see.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- ..with their bums in the air... - Right.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01..and goats are just jumping on them, like they're hillocks,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04from person to person. It went crazy.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05What kind of a class is that?!
0:13:05 > 0:13:07But the problem is...
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- So, you're supposed to be so focused on your yoga...- Yes.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- ..you ignore the goats... - Don't notice the goats.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14..and the goats are just, like, having a crazy great time.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16This is everything I hate about yoga.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19There's goats jumping on your arse
0:13:19 > 0:13:22and you don't go, "Ha-ha."
0:13:22 > 0:13:23That's craziness.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25You can, but then you're bad at yoga.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- Can I just say...? - Whereas the sheep...
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Yeah, don't go to yoga.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34- They're much more pilates people, the sheep.- Yeah.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36I've never seen a sheep jump. That's my point.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- I think goats are very agile. - Sheep can jump.- Sheep jump?- Yes.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- They can jump.- Yeah, they jump over...- In your dreams!
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Because sometimes they jump for no reason at all.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Can I just say, my game has not gone where I was expecting, all right?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49The simplest way to tell them apart
0:13:49 > 0:13:51is that goats' tails point upwards.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53That is the easiest way.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54It's almost like they're asking for it.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00- Don't listen to him, he's a bad man! - That is a kind of...
0:14:00 > 0:14:02That's why they have the horns, right?
0:14:02 > 0:14:04- That's the whole point of the horns. - Yeah.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- AUDIENCE GROANS - Don't listen to him either!
0:14:06 > 0:14:07They're both terrible men.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10So sorry.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12You've ruined the yoga class.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Everything's ruined.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17So, another clear distinction is kind of a martial arts style.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21So, rams back up and charge in order to butt heads,
0:14:21 > 0:14:23whereas billies will rear up.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24Look at that, that's fantastic.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27- They'll rear up on their hind legs and try and nut their opponent.- OK.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29And when the two species fight each other,
0:14:29 > 0:14:31the ram's style gives an advantage,
0:14:31 > 0:14:33cos he hits the billy in the middle, amidships there.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35But also, another difference between them is...
0:14:35 > 0:14:37...they look different.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, Alan, slow down.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42What are you talking about?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44One's a sheep and one's a goat.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Look different.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Spelt differently.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50- Tails.- They have different names. - Different names.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51OK.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Let's find out whether you're right,
0:14:53 > 0:14:55whether it is in fact cos they look different,
0:14:55 > 0:14:57as we play...
0:14:57 > 0:14:58..Sorting The Sheep From The Goats!
0:14:58 > 0:15:01- Yay! - CHEERING
0:15:04 > 0:15:07I'm telling you, Jimmy, you're going to be hosting this before long,
0:15:07 > 0:15:10this quiz show.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12OK, here we go, first picture.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16- Goat.- Sheep, sheep. - KLAXON BLARES
0:15:16 > 0:15:17In your face!
0:15:17 > 0:15:19You had it, it's a sheep.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21The giveaway is the long, floppy ears there.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- That's definitely a sheep. OK. - And the fact that it's a sheep.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26All right. Next one.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28- Ah.- Oh.- Sheep.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37Colin, say the opposite of what it looks like, I think that's the game.
0:15:37 > 0:15:38- Say the opposite.- A dog.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41It's an angora goat. Next one.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43What are we going for?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45I'm saying sheep cos it looks like a goat.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48OK, the main reason we know it's a sheep is cos the tail is down.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50OK, next one.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52What do we reckon about this one?
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- Pig sheep.- It is a pig.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02It's a curly-coated Mangalica from Austria or the borders of Hungary.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05The really extraordinary thing was, I talked about sheep's tails
0:16:05 > 0:16:07hanging down, so about a quarter of the world's sheep
0:16:07 > 0:16:09are what they call "fat-tailed" varieties,
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- so they store fat in their tails. - Whoa!- They've got booties.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Yeah, just like a camel stores fat.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Can we show that?
0:16:20 > 0:16:22I'm not sure... That feels like...
0:16:22 > 0:16:24I'm not sure how our researchers come up with this stuff.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26That feels like it was quite a specialist search
0:16:26 > 0:16:29and they went, "You know what? That could be in the show."
0:16:29 > 0:16:31So, they store fat in their tails,
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- rather like the camel stores it in their hump...- Yeah.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36..and there are various sources, so Pliny the Elder,
0:16:36 > 0:16:37- right up to Bruce Chatwin.- Oh.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40They state that some of these sheep were actually fitted
0:16:40 > 0:16:43with a wheeled trolley to carry their tails around behind them...
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- Ah, the...- Oh.- ..because there was so much fat in them.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47The Kardashian sheep, yes.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I am familiar.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55It's a picturesque motion. OK, now that we've all become experts
0:16:55 > 0:17:00in animal identification, can you tell me what this is?
0:17:00 > 0:17:01ALL: Aww!
0:17:01 > 0:17:05Has someone drawn a face on my testicle?
0:17:07 > 0:17:09I love that you're not sure.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13I hope they haven't drawn a paw on your testicle as well.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14The paw's always there.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20The paw's on one of my testicles, the other to don't have one.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24It feels like it's a hedgehog without his spikes.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27You're absolutely right. That is exactly what it is.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- It didn't grow them from birth.- Aw!
0:17:30 > 0:17:33This is so sweet. Presumably from some kind of trauma.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34- ALL:- Aww!
0:17:34 > 0:17:35We don't know. It was taken...
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Oh, you've really got this one bad, haven't you?
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Aww!
0:17:42 > 0:17:43Aww!
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Aww!
0:17:48 > 0:17:50One spineless hedgehog and you all lose it.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Sums of this country up, if you ask me.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Let's check out the next one.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58This one's an "Aww!"
0:17:58 > 0:18:00- ALL:- Aww!
0:18:00 > 0:18:02What is this part of the show?
0:18:04 > 0:18:05Kill the vegan.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07He looks quite cross, though, doesn't he? He's like,
0:18:07 > 0:18:09- "What did you say? What did you say?"- Hang on.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11- Are all birds doing that the whole time?- Maybe.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13And we've just seen what they're really like.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Cos you look at birds and go, "Oh, he's adorable,"
0:18:15 > 0:18:17but they're actually going, "Come on, then!"
0:18:17 > 0:18:20"I can't get my hands on my head!
0:18:22 > 0:18:25"Damn you, evolution!"
0:18:26 > 0:18:30What happened there? Was he allergic to piri piri sauce?
0:18:30 > 0:18:34Is he essentially upset because somebody's prodding him in the back
0:18:34 > 0:18:36with a bendy sausage?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Yeah, that's not good.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42That's the weirdest part of that photo, in my opinion.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47That is a cockatoo, a Moluccan cockatoo who has lost his feathers.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50He is... He is... I would describe him as plucked.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Now, what's the opposite
0:18:55 > 0:18:57of a plant-eating sheep?
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- A plant that grows sheep. - It's a sheep.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06See, just when I think what I said is really clear...
0:19:08 > 0:19:10You now sound like a vegan who's really hungry.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- The opposite of a plant-eating sheep would be a...?- A sheep-eating plant.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Yes. Yes.
0:19:17 > 0:19:18Well done, Colin.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Colin, I'm just going to remind you, I said at the beginning...
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- Yes?- ..the more you get wrong, the more points you get.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33I don't know if that's going to affect you in any way.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38I've been on this show about six or seven times
0:19:38 > 0:19:41and I still don't know what the rules are.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I have no idea.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45So, there is said to be a sheep-eating plant.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48It is called the Puya chilensis. There it is.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Same family as the pineapple.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52- And what it does... - It sounds like...
0:19:52 > 0:19:54This is someone that's stolen a sheep
0:19:54 > 0:19:56and his friend's gone, "Where's my sheep?"
0:19:56 > 0:19:58And he's gone, "What, your sheep?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00"It was the bloody plant, mate."
0:20:00 > 0:20:02"Bloody... Oh, you should have been here."
0:20:02 > 0:20:04"Don't take your eyes off that pineapple."
0:20:05 > 0:20:09So what happens is, the sheep gets entangled in its spiny leaves
0:20:09 > 0:20:11and then the sheep starves to death.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13ALL GROAN
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Then the animal decays and it takes the nutrients,
0:20:16 > 0:20:17as it decays, into the soil.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19It's described as a proto-carnivorous system,
0:20:19 > 0:20:22so it's unnaturalistic cos that suggests the plant
0:20:22 > 0:20:24is on the evolutionary path towards being a carnivore
0:20:24 > 0:20:27and other people don't think that's right at all in terms of evolution.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31There is one in Surrey, the Royal Horticultural Society in Wisley.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34In 2013, it bloomed for the very first time in 15 years.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36The spokesman said,
0:20:36 > 0:20:39"We keep it well fed with liquid fertiliser,
0:20:39 > 0:20:43"as feeding it on its natural diet might prove a bit problematic."
0:20:44 > 0:20:46I like the idea of those smart women
0:20:46 > 0:20:48going to the Royal Horticultural Society in Wisley going,
0:20:48 > 0:20:50"My God, that plant's got a sheep."
0:20:51 > 0:20:54So there's nearly 600 species of carnivorous plants.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57So anybody know what this one is?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59It's the Venus flytrap, surely?
0:20:59 > 0:21:04Let's just see if we can get it to think that I'm flying in.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Oh!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I mean, I'm not the toughest person on the planet,
0:21:10 > 0:21:12but it is quite strong.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14So nearly 600 species of carnivorous plants,
0:21:14 > 0:21:16about 300 more proto-carnivorous
0:21:16 > 0:21:19and they have a different range of approaches, so the Venus flytrap
0:21:19 > 0:21:22obviously it actively traps insects but there are others
0:21:22 > 0:21:25which might trap an insect and then feed on the faeces left
0:21:25 > 0:21:29- by other bugs which come to eat the trapped insect.- Oh, OK.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31So the one on the right there is a South African plant
0:21:31 > 0:21:33called a Roridula and it does just that.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Isn't that odd, though, that we're all familiar with the Venus flytrap,
0:21:36 > 0:21:38so when we were sit here and watch a plant go, "Schoof!" like that,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41we'll just shrug that off but that's actually really frightening.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44It is slightly terrifying, isn't it?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47If that was massive, it would do it to us, it's only a matter of time.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- Well, it could...- Especially view, Sandi, let's face it.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54I'm just going to give you that.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58You can just keep it away from me and that will be lovely.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05There's also a story of a man-eating tree in Madagascar.
0:22:05 > 0:22:081874, New York World wrote about this,
0:22:08 > 0:22:10supposedly a woman had been eaten alive.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13In fact it was a hoax, but it became a sort of enduring myth
0:22:13 > 0:22:16and as late as 1925, there was a book called
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Madagascar, Land Of The Man-eating Tree.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21It was written by a curious man called Chase Osborn.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23He was an ex-governor of Michigan.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25He did genuinely search for the tree, but it's a myth...
0:22:25 > 0:22:28..or is it?
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Now, this is a human optogram.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34What does it prove?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36I always thought optograms
0:22:36 > 0:22:38was that thing where they could look in your eye
0:22:38 > 0:22:39and see who had murdered you.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43- What now?- This was, like, before, like, DNA and stuff.
0:22:43 > 0:22:44And they were like, "Oh, no..."
0:22:44 > 0:22:46I think we always had DNA, it's really...
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Yeah, but it's not...
0:22:47 > 0:22:50- More like before we knew about it. - We could test it, yeah.- Yes, OK.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52So, it was like, "Oh, I'm a Victorian policeman,
0:22:52 > 0:22:54"this woman's died.
0:22:54 > 0:22:55"I know, we'll get her eyes out,
0:22:55 > 0:22:57"have a look on the retina,
0:22:57 > 0:22:59"the last thing she's seen, that'll be the killer."
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Was that, like, a commonly held belief?
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Well, it began in the 17th century.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05So, there was a priest called Christoph Scheiner,
0:23:05 > 0:23:08and he'd claimed he had seen the image of a flame
0:23:08 > 0:23:11on the retina of a frog that he had been dissecting.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14So, then you get the development of photography, so that's about 1840s,
0:23:14 > 0:23:17and that seemed to provide a sort of theoretical basis for this notion.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20There was a German physiologist called Wilhelm Kuhne.
0:23:20 > 0:23:231878, he immobilised a rabbit
0:23:23 > 0:23:26and forced it to look at a window for three minutes.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Then he decapitated it,
0:23:28 > 0:23:30cut open the eye and, the next day,
0:23:30 > 0:23:33he said that the retina dried and revealed an image of the window.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36That was the last thing that the rabbit had been staring at.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Bullshit.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40- Right, so he was able... So, he was...- Rubbish!
0:23:40 > 0:23:42He was able to reveal that he killed the rabbit?
0:23:42 > 0:23:47- Yes.- That's a bit of luck. I could have saved him a bit of time there.
0:23:47 > 0:23:501880, he decided to repeat this experiment
0:23:50 > 0:23:51with the head of a guillotined murderer,
0:23:51 > 0:23:53a man called Erhard Gustav Reif,
0:23:53 > 0:23:55and his left eye was dissected
0:23:55 > 0:23:57ten minutes after he died,
0:23:57 > 0:23:59and the resulting optogram is that picture that we saw
0:23:59 > 0:24:01- at the very beginning... - Oh, so it's the guillotine.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Yes, so it's been suggested it's the blade of the guillotine.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07It seems very unlikely, he was blindfolded at the time.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11The last bit of toast he had.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Unfortunately, all we have is that sketch.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15We don't have the actual image.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18So, this idea about optograms was taken up by fictional writers,
0:24:18 > 0:24:20so Jules Verne and some of the popular press,
0:24:20 > 0:24:23and it appears, because this was widely believed,
0:24:23 > 0:24:25that some killers took the precaution
0:24:25 > 0:24:27of taking their victims' eyes with them,
0:24:27 > 0:24:29- to make sure there was no photo. - They seem really, principally,
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- to be concerned with her hat in that picture.- Yes.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38"Where's her hat?" "I think it's over there."
0:24:38 > 0:24:40"I can't reach it!"
0:24:42 > 0:24:44"Take a step nearer."
0:24:44 > 0:24:46There's been research into this idea, optography,
0:24:46 > 0:24:48as recently as 1975.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Evangelos Alexandridis of the University of Heidelberg,
0:24:51 > 0:24:53he produced a number of images from...
0:24:53 > 0:24:55- It's always the eyes of dead rabbits.- Oh!
0:24:55 > 0:24:58- It's not nice.- They've got such big eyes maybe?- Yeah.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Bright eyes, famously bright eyes.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02They eat a lot of carrots.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06- Did you know that carrots are not... - Yeah.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08- OK. Not dead when you eat them. - Carrots are not what?
0:25:08 > 0:25:11They die in your stomach, they don't die when you bite into them.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- They only die in your stomach. - That's why they're so delicious.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17But, no, it's worse than you think,
0:25:17 > 0:25:19because I've been eating baby carrots.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23I'm a monster!
0:25:27 > 0:25:30I'm surprised this guy from the University of Heidelberg did manage
0:25:30 > 0:25:33to produce some images, so there may be some underlying scientific basis
0:25:33 > 0:25:35for this notion but we're not really sure.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Do you know where Albert Einstein's eyeballs are?
0:25:38 > 0:25:40- They weren't buried with him?- No.
0:25:40 > 0:25:431955, they were removed during his autopsy
0:25:43 > 0:25:44and they were given as a gift
0:25:44 > 0:25:46to his personal physician Henry Abrams.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Oh, and they made the first one of those desk toys.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54APPLAUSE
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Oh, my God!
0:25:58 > 0:26:01As far as we know, they're in a safe deposit box in New York City
0:26:01 > 0:26:02but there's quite a thing of it.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Do you know where Napoleon's penis is?
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Is it Wellington's house?
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Again, we're not entirely sure.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13We think it's in a special box in New Jersey.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17In a special box? What are you like? I'll do the filth.
0:26:17 > 0:26:18It was taken off at the autopsy
0:26:18 > 0:26:21and then it was sort of displayed around the world,
0:26:21 > 0:26:22and much mocked for its size. POP!
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Yes.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28And in the end,
0:26:28 > 0:26:30a urologist in New Jersey, called Dr John Lattimer,
0:26:30 > 0:26:32he bought it and he was so upset
0:26:32 > 0:26:35at people teasing Napoleon's penis - I mean, weird -
0:26:35 > 0:26:36he had a special box made
0:26:36 > 0:26:39and it's in the family home in New Jersey, as far as we know.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- There's a penis for sale in London. - Sorry?- I was looking into it.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Oh, yes.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Thought I might get an upgrade.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50I was in a very strange store in the East End of London,
0:26:50 > 0:26:52and the last man that was hanged in Britain,
0:26:52 > 0:26:54they have his penis for sale.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Do they? How much is it? - How much? Yes.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Yeah. And was he hung?
0:27:02 > 0:27:03APPLAUSE
0:27:05 > 0:27:09- Perfect. - Anyway, an optigram won't prove
0:27:09 > 0:27:11you're guilty or innocent, for that matter.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Here is a simple one.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Who's the opposite of Tarzan?
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Yes?
0:27:20 > 0:27:21Nazrat.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22KLAXON BLARES
0:27:27 > 0:27:30- Yes, OK, I'll have a crack.- Yes, OK?
0:27:30 > 0:27:33- Yes?- So, it's going to be a wild...
0:27:33 > 0:27:34Like, an ape raised in a city.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36So, Wayne Rooney, Liam Gallagher?
0:27:39 > 0:27:41They shave and they walk upright, but it's not good, is it?
0:27:41 > 0:27:44- They should be with their own kind.- Well, in a...
0:27:45 > 0:27:47In a way, you're right.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50The opposite is an ape brought up as an English gentlemen,
0:27:50 > 0:27:52and there was such a thing. It was a lowland gorilla, who was...
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Oh, my God, he looks so human!
0:27:55 > 0:27:58It was a lowland gorilla orphaned by hunters in the Gabon.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01He was put up for sale in the Derry & Toms department store.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04He was known as John Daniel. He was bought, in 1918, for £300.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07So, that's about £20,000 today.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09He was bought by Major Rupert Penny
0:28:09 > 0:28:12and entrusted to his sister, Alyce Cunningham.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14And he lived in a country house in Gloucestershire. Why not?
0:28:14 > 0:28:17And he was brought up as a boy, not as a gorilla.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20Although, I say a boy fond of drinking whisky and port.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22He was fed on children.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25- No, went to the village school. - How did he do?
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Well, this is the thing,
0:28:27 > 0:28:29he was quite good at making his own bed,
0:28:29 > 0:28:31he was quite good at doing the washing-up.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33He could use light switches and the lavatory.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35- Oh, was it one of those Montessori schools?- Yeah.
0:28:37 > 0:28:38He preferred the company of women.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40When there was a group of men,
0:28:40 > 0:28:42- he would urinate on them, which is not...- Oh!
0:28:43 > 0:28:46And he would walk into people's houses and help himself to cider.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48It's actually kind of a sad story
0:28:48 > 0:28:51because, eventually, he grew too big and Alyce couldn't manage him,
0:28:51 > 0:28:53and she sold him to an American for 1,000 guineas,
0:28:53 > 0:28:56and she thought he was going to have a wonderful life in Florida.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59But, in fact, he was made to join the Barnum & Bailey circus
0:28:59 > 0:29:01- and was displayed in a zoo in Madison...- Aww.- Hey, hey, hey.
0:29:01 > 0:29:05- Yeah, yes.- Let's try and focus on the positive - show business.
0:29:05 > 0:29:06He got into show business.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08And his health deteriorated,
0:29:08 > 0:29:11and Alyce was sent a telegram to say that John Daniel was pining for her.
0:29:11 > 0:29:12She set sail for America
0:29:12 > 0:29:15but, very sadly, he died of pneumonia before she arrived,
0:29:15 > 0:29:17- aged just four and...- Oh! - Yes, it's a really sad story.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20And he was given to the American Natural History Museum,
0:29:20 > 0:29:22where you can still see his body displayed.
0:29:22 > 0:29:23But he did...
0:29:23 > 0:29:26For that brief period of time, he was a boy in Gloucestershire
0:29:26 > 0:29:28- growing up.- Living as a boy. - Living as a boy, yeah.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30But a chimpanzee is all right
0:29:30 > 0:29:32until they get to about a year old, and then they'll rip your arm off.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34- Well, here is the thing... - That's the trouble.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37And tigers are like that. We had a tiger on Jonathan Creek, right?
0:29:37 > 0:29:40And they brought this tiger in with a chain, and about three handlers.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43And they said, "Will Alan do a photo with the tiger?"
0:29:43 > 0:29:46So, I was a bit apprehensive, and I said, "Are you sure?
0:29:46 > 0:29:49- "I mean, it doesn't know me."- Yeah. - They said, "Oh, no, it's fine.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51"They're not really a danger until they're about 12 months old."
0:29:51 > 0:29:53I said, "Oh, good, good. How old is this one?"
0:29:53 > 0:29:55And he goes, "It's 11 months."
0:29:57 > 0:30:00Now, we're going into orbit, so here's a thought, right?
0:30:00 > 0:30:05We have all this nuclear waste stinking the place up,
0:30:05 > 0:30:08instead of keeping it underground, why don't we do the opposite
0:30:08 > 0:30:12and just fire it into the sun and forget about it?
0:30:12 > 0:30:14I've only just started recycling.
0:30:16 > 0:30:20If you fired it all at the sun, wouldn't Rupert Murdoch be upset?
0:30:22 > 0:30:25Suddenly it seems like a good idea, doesn't it?
0:30:25 > 0:30:26APPLAUSE
0:30:32 > 0:30:34Presumably because it would be very dangerous
0:30:34 > 0:30:36and the sun would explode and we'd all die?
0:30:36 > 0:30:37No, I think the sun could cope.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39Would it make a more powerful and send it back?
0:30:39 > 0:30:42- Ah!- The first thing is, it's unbelievably dangerous to put
0:30:42 > 0:30:46nuclear waste in a rocket, right, because if the rocket explodes,
0:30:46 > 0:30:48then you'd have the world's biggest dirty bomb.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51But the major objection to this superficially attractive idea
0:30:51 > 0:30:55is that, counterintuitively, it is extremely difficult to get something
0:30:55 > 0:30:58to fall into the sun. So you think it would be easy, all right, yes?
0:30:58 > 0:31:01- Yeah.- So imagine that this is the sun and we are travelling round,
0:31:01 > 0:31:05but we are constantly drawn, aren't we, towards the sun?
0:31:05 > 0:31:09But we're also travelling really fast around the sun,
0:31:09 > 0:31:11so we're travelling at 30 kilometres per second,
0:31:11 > 0:31:14- so that's 67,000 miles per hour. - Hold on to something!
0:31:14 > 0:31:16So we might miss the sun and hit ourselves again?
0:31:16 > 0:31:19Well, no, we wouldn't hit ourselves, but in order to get something to go
0:31:19 > 0:31:22into the sun, what we actually have to do is get it to slow it down
0:31:22 > 0:31:24until it's not going sideways any more.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Cos with a tiny bit of sideways speed, you would miss the sun
0:31:26 > 0:31:30and it would just whip around and in order to get our object to fall into
0:31:30 > 0:31:32the sun, you'd need to get the speed down to zero,
0:31:32 > 0:31:34so that means thrusting the rocket backwards
0:31:34 > 0:31:37about 67,000 miles per hour.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40Have you seen the documentary about this where it actually happens?
0:31:40 > 0:31:44- It is possible to do it.- I'll refer you to Superman 4.- Oh, sorry.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48Because he took all the bombs
0:31:48 > 0:31:50- and he threw them at the sun and it was fine.- Well, he had the power.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53The trouble is we don't have a rocket that's powerful enough.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56Nasa's new Horizon craft can go at 36,000 miles per hour -
0:31:56 > 0:31:59that's 53% of the power that we actually need
0:31:59 > 0:32:02to get the rocket to fall into the sun. It's called a sun dive.
0:32:02 > 0:32:06So weirdly, rather perversely, it would actually be easier
0:32:06 > 0:32:09to send our cargo of nuclear waste out into deep space
0:32:09 > 0:32:12than it would be to drop it into the sun,
0:32:12 > 0:32:14because we actually need less power
0:32:14 > 0:32:16to get out of the solar system altogether.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18OK. Here for the audience, ready?
0:32:18 > 0:32:20By a cheer,
0:32:20 > 0:32:22who's fed up with austerity?
0:32:22 > 0:32:25CHEERING
0:32:25 > 0:32:27Me too. So, time to take the opposite tack, I reckon.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30Let's have a bit of ostentatious consumption.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33So, I've got some menus here, for you, from a Chinese restaurant.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35- Chinese takeaway, Col? - Oh, excellent.- There you go.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38- Chinese takeaway. - Now, the Kangxi Emperor,
0:32:38 > 0:32:39who ruled China around 1700,
0:32:39 > 0:32:42was THE most ostentatious eater of all time.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44So, here is my question,
0:32:44 > 0:32:47which of his eight mountain delicacies do you fancy?
0:32:47 > 0:32:49- Leopard foetus?- Yeah.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51And this... And these are... These are...
0:32:51 > 0:32:53I can't...
0:32:53 > 0:32:55The vegan can't talk any more, she's having a panic attack!
0:32:57 > 0:32:59I don't think there's anything here for me.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03- Well, apart from the... - Are we not having a seaweed?
0:33:03 > 0:33:06Well, there is vegetarian stuff here, there's the boar's testicles.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09You don't necessarily have to kill the boar for those.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11- That isn't how veganism works.- Oh.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14It is an actual menu from the birthday of the Kangxi Emperor,
0:33:14 > 0:33:16who was on the throne from 1661 to 1722.
0:33:16 > 0:33:19Oh, you'd be so thrilled to get an invite to the Emperor's party.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22"What are we having? Is there going to be cake?"
0:33:22 > 0:33:24"No, better than that, monkey brain."
0:33:24 > 0:33:27He called it the Manchu Han Imperial Feast,
0:33:27 > 0:33:30so it's kind of like a fusion-style blowout, really.
0:33:30 > 0:33:33Because he was trying to reconcile rival factions
0:33:33 > 0:33:36so he was showcasing both the Manchu and the Han cuisine.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38The meal lasted for three days,
0:33:38 > 0:33:40there were six successive banquets,
0:33:40 > 0:33:43124 starters and 196 main courses.
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Look, that's that hedgehog.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50That looks like the brain of something in that one -
0:33:50 > 0:33:52is that the brain of something?
0:33:52 > 0:33:57- Yes, that is a brain.- Monkey brains.- I wonder what it's thinking?
0:33:57 > 0:33:59The seafood platter included
0:33:59 > 0:34:02sea slug, fish tripe, swallow's nest, shark's fin and fish bones.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05But it was the mountain delicacies that really pushed the boat out,
0:34:05 > 0:34:08that was your leopard foetus and your camel's hump and so on.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10But that kind of opulence is extraordinary.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12There's a marvellous story about the first Earl Spencer,
0:34:12 > 0:34:16so that's Princess Diana's great-great-great-great-grandfather.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19In the 1750s, he had the finest house in London.
0:34:19 > 0:34:21He was especially proud of an innovation - carpets -
0:34:21 > 0:34:24but he could only afford three of them so he had this system
0:34:24 > 0:34:27whereby as the guests moved through the house, the doors would close
0:34:27 > 0:34:29behind them and they would roll up the carpet
0:34:29 > 0:34:32and they would run round and lay it out.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34And there was a guy called Henry Paget,
0:34:34 > 0:34:38who was the fifth Marquess of Anglesey, so 1875 till 1905,
0:34:38 > 0:34:42he modified his car so that the exhaust pipe sprayed perfume.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46- Wow!- That's like those new pants You can get. Have you seen them?
0:34:47 > 0:34:49There's these new pants. It's true.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52You and I live on a parallel universe.
0:34:52 > 0:34:57There's these pants that if you fart, it smells of mint.
0:34:57 > 0:34:59Well, actually, that sounds very sensible.
0:35:01 > 0:35:05Now, what is this guy's problem?
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- Yes?- Goats.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10Yeah...
0:35:14 > 0:35:16He couldn't find any.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18I think I know this.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20He was asleep and he's farted.
0:35:21 > 0:35:26He's farted with quite some force, so much force he's lifted himself up
0:35:26 > 0:35:27and his cock's fallen off.
0:35:27 > 0:35:30He does appear to have no genitals at all.
0:35:30 > 0:35:33Sometimes from a distance, Sandi, it looks like that.
0:35:33 > 0:35:37Sometimes they're moving so fast they become a blur.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43See, I wouldn't know whether that's true or not.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46They're both lying.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48Colin, what do you reckon?
0:35:48 > 0:35:49He's doing an upward dog.
0:35:51 > 0:35:52So I do have a theory,
0:35:52 > 0:35:55so in the olden days they thought that people used to be...
0:35:55 > 0:35:58You know, like, The Exorcist, cos they thought the devil was in you
0:35:58 > 0:36:01and they now think it's a kind of encephalitis...
0:36:01 > 0:36:02Well, it is a medical thing.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05It is a depiction of the effects of tetanus.
0:36:05 > 0:36:10It is quite a famous painting, 1809, of a condition called opisthotonus,
0:36:10 > 0:36:11by Sir Charles Bell.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13The interesting thing about it is
0:36:13 > 0:36:15when you get the fossils of dinosaurs,
0:36:15 > 0:36:18particularly Archaeopteryx, so things with long necks,
0:36:18 > 0:36:20they are often found in the same death pose.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23You often see them with the head thrown back and the tail extended,
0:36:23 > 0:36:26the mouth wide open and nobody really knew why.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29So there were lots and lots of theories about this
0:36:29 > 0:36:31and in the end they began to decide,
0:36:31 > 0:36:34"Well, actually, most of them must have died of tetanus,"
0:36:34 > 0:36:36because the pose is exactly the same.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38So rusty nails were around in those days?
0:36:40 > 0:36:45But then Achim Reisdorf and Michael Wuttke of the University of Basel
0:36:45 > 0:36:47in 2012, they did a really practical experiment
0:36:47 > 0:36:49to see whether it really was tetanus.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51Did they give birds with long necks tetanus?
0:36:51 > 0:36:53No, no, what they did was, they bought
0:36:53 > 0:36:55a load of chicken necks from the butcher.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57Nobody wants those, really, but it's fine.
0:36:57 > 0:36:58And they dropped them in water.
0:36:58 > 0:37:02And immediately the necks all bent backwards by 90 degrees.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05And then three months later after they had rotted some more
0:37:05 > 0:37:08they had twisted further backwards to 140 degrees
0:37:08 > 0:37:10and what they concluded was that the neck ligaments,
0:37:10 > 0:37:13they're normally weighed down by the chicken's head, were freed
0:37:13 > 0:37:16by the buoyancy of water to assume their default position.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18Their default position was slightly upwards.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21- That's such a good experiment. So clever.- And so simple.
0:37:21 > 0:37:25So, that is your consignment of general knowledge for this week.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Now it's time for the opposite, General Ignorance,
0:37:27 > 0:37:29- fingers on buzzers, please. - Ah, too easy, come on.
0:37:29 > 0:37:31This is a telescope called Amanda.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33She's at the South Pole.
0:37:33 > 0:37:37So, first of all, what constellation must she be pointing at?
0:37:37 > 0:37:38# Ivory... #
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Southern Cross.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43KLAXON BLARES
0:37:45 > 0:37:49Amanda is the Antarctic Muon and Neutrino Detector Array,
0:37:49 > 0:37:51is what Amanda stands for.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54So, what might Amanda be pointing at?
0:37:54 > 0:37:56Is someone getting changed nearby?
0:37:56 > 0:37:58Or is she checking out her ex boyfriend?
0:37:58 > 0:38:01So, we're playing Opposites, right, it wasn't Southern Cross.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03- Oh.- North... The North Pole.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05Yes, she is pointing towards the northern sky,
0:38:05 > 0:38:07so she's pointing towards, what would we have?
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Ursa Major. Polaris.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11The same is true of an even bigger one,
0:38:11 > 0:38:14the Ice Cube Cosmic Neutrino Detector.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17So, the thing about this is, although she's at the South Pole,
0:38:17 > 0:38:20she's actually pointing down into the ground.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23So, she is pointing towards the northern skies.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25Why didn't they just put it at the North Pole?
0:38:25 > 0:38:26LAUGHTER
0:38:26 > 0:38:29Because she's designed to detect neutrinos.
0:38:29 > 0:38:33- Oh!- These are really, really small, sub-atomic particles.
0:38:33 > 0:38:34They don't interact with matter.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37So, they normally pass straight through the planet.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Me neither, to be honest.
0:38:39 > 0:38:40LAUGHTER
0:38:40 > 0:38:43They're teeny, tiny particles
0:38:43 > 0:38:45that travel at near-light speeds.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49They are really an important part of the universe's essential ingredients.
0:38:49 > 0:38:50Whoop! I think I've got one.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52- Well...- In your dreams!
0:38:52 > 0:38:54..if you held your hand up to the sun,
0:38:54 > 0:38:57a billion neutrinos would pass through your hand
0:38:57 > 0:38:59as you held it up to the sun.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01- I have a question that's...- Yes? - It's related to this.- OK.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04- The constellation on the right there...- Yeah?
0:39:04 > 0:39:06Is that called the Rat Slowing Down?
0:39:06 > 0:39:11LAUGHTER
0:39:11 > 0:39:12ALAN SCREECHES
0:39:12 > 0:39:13"I've gone way too quick!"
0:39:13 > 0:39:15I think he's gone out of that spin in the middle,
0:39:15 > 0:39:17- and gone, "Whoa!"- Yeah.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19So, these have almost no mass and no electric charge,
0:39:19 > 0:39:21and they're incredibly difficult to detect.
0:39:21 > 0:39:25Basically, we need to know. It's one of the great building blocks of the universe.
0:39:25 > 0:39:26Why do we need to know?
0:39:26 > 0:39:29Because it's one of the fundamental questions in physics -
0:39:29 > 0:39:30how are things made?
0:39:30 > 0:39:31That's the thing with science, Jimmy.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34"We don't know what we're looking for but we have to look.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37- Yeah. - Also, once we get to time travel...
0:39:37 > 0:39:40It's really for better episodes of Doctor Who. That's why we're here.
0:39:40 > 0:39:41LAUGHTER
0:39:41 > 0:39:44Now, there are cat lovers and there are cat haters,
0:39:44 > 0:39:47but whose lap will the cat sit on?
0:39:47 > 0:39:49# Day... #
0:39:49 > 0:39:52Cats always go to the people who don't like them or who are allergic.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54KLAXON BLARES
0:39:54 > 0:39:56Um, yes, they do.
0:39:56 > 0:39:57- No.- They do.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Well, the only scientific study that we found,
0:40:00 > 0:40:01in fact, finds the opposite. So...
0:40:01 > 0:40:03They've only done one?
0:40:03 > 0:40:05What are they spending their money on?!
0:40:05 > 0:40:06You know the cat on the right there,
0:40:06 > 0:40:09the cat on the right that's being kissed by the lady is...
0:40:09 > 0:40:11- I think that cat's married. - LAUGHTER
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Just from the expression of,
0:40:12 > 0:40:16"Oh, my God! Don't take a picture, how am I going to explain this?"
0:40:16 > 0:40:18So, people who believe the perverse cat theory,
0:40:18 > 0:40:20- there are various explanations.- Yes, yeah.
0:40:20 > 0:40:22Well, first, cats don't like being stared at
0:40:22 > 0:40:24is one of the reasons that they give.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27They perceive it as aggression, so they prefer people who ignore them.
0:40:27 > 0:40:28Cats pick up hostile body language
0:40:28 > 0:40:31- and they act to try and placate it, that's one of the things.- Yeah.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33In fact, there's only one small study has been done
0:40:33 > 0:40:36by the Anthro-zoological Institute at the University of Southampton,
0:40:36 > 0:40:39and they were unable, really, to find much effect at all.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41They had eight cat-lovers, eight cat-haters
0:40:41 > 0:40:43and the cats didn't seem to be bothered who they went to.
0:40:43 > 0:40:45- They were... - Not exactly a wide study.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47It's not a massive study, Colin. LAUGHTER
0:40:47 > 0:40:49- No, yeah. - Felines don't make beelines
0:40:49 > 0:40:51towards people who hate cats.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54This painting, have a quick look at this painting, what is it?
0:40:54 > 0:40:56The Scream?
0:40:56 > 0:40:57Yes, The Scream by Edvard Munch.
0:40:57 > 0:40:58What does it depict?
0:40:58 > 0:41:01Anyone...looking at London house prices.
0:41:01 > 0:41:02LAUGHTER
0:41:04 > 0:41:07- It's a... Now, I know this.- Yes.
0:41:07 > 0:41:08I think.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11But it's someone who is hearing screams
0:41:11 > 0:41:13from a hospital or something.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16You're nearly there. So, it is actually not somebody screaming,
0:41:16 > 0:41:19- it is somebody... - Somebody hearing screams.
0:41:19 > 0:41:22..hearing a scream of nature, is what Edvard Munch said.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24So, it's a figure of indeterminate gender,
0:41:24 > 0:41:27she or he, they're not screaming, they're hearing a scream.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29So, it's the opposite of what we might think it is.
0:41:29 > 0:41:32The scream of nature in German, Der Schrei der Natur.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34So, his account of the inspiration for this painting
0:41:34 > 0:41:35further bears this out.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37"I stopped and looked out over the fjord,
0:41:37 > 0:41:40"the sun was setting and the clouds turning blood red.
0:41:40 > 0:41:42"I sensed a scream passing through nature.
0:41:42 > 0:41:44"It seemed to me that I heard the scream.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47"I painted this picture, I painted the clouds as actual blood.
0:41:47 > 0:41:49"The colour shrieked. This became The Scream."
0:41:49 > 0:41:51He sounds like a bloody great laugh, doesn't he?
0:41:51 > 0:41:53LAUGHTER
0:41:53 > 0:41:56The scream in Munch's The Scream is heard and not seen.
0:41:56 > 0:41:57And that's your lot for tonight.
0:41:57 > 0:41:59Let's have a look at the scores.
0:41:59 > 0:42:04Well, with a rather magnificent minus 47...
0:42:04 > 0:42:05Colin.
0:42:05 > 0:42:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:09 > 0:42:10Sara, with minus 14.
0:42:10 > 0:42:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:12 > 0:42:15I'm happy with that. I'm happy with third.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17With a very, very creditable minus six...
0:42:17 > 0:42:20Alan. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:20 > 0:42:22Thank you very much.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26With a full 8 points, it's Jimmy.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:33 > 0:42:36That means, Colin, that you are the winner
0:42:36 > 0:42:40- and as you would expect... - Oh, I thought I'd won!- No.
0:42:40 > 0:42:43Tonight's prize is the very opposite of an objectionable object,
0:42:43 > 0:42:46it's this extremely tasteful QI mug.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48There you are, congratulations.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:51 > 0:42:56It only remains for me to thank Sara, Jimmy, Colin and Alan.
0:42:56 > 0:42:57I leave you with this quote
0:42:57 > 0:43:00that is definitely apposite, or maybe just the opposite of opposite,
0:43:00 > 0:43:03from the economist, JK Galbraith.
0:43:03 > 0:43:05"Under capitalism, man exploits man.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08"Under communism, it's just the opposite."
0:43:08 > 0:43:10Thank you and goodnight.
0:43:10 > 0:43:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE