0:00:26 > 0:00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Hey! Hello!
0:00:34 > 0:00:38Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
0:00:38 > 0:00:42And welcome to QI, the show-off show that sits at the front of the class,
0:00:42 > 0:00:44shouting, "Me, sir! Me, me, me, sir, me!"
0:00:44 > 0:00:48while other quiz shows are snogging behind the bike sheds.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Tonight, we're celebrating genius
0:00:50 > 0:00:53with four of the most brilliant minds in the country,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56the Einstein or entertainment, David Mitchell!
0:00:56 > 0:00:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:59 > 0:01:03The Da Vinci of drollery, Dara O Brien!
0:01:03 > 0:01:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:06 > 0:01:08The Galileo of gags, Graham Norton!
0:01:08 > 0:01:10CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:01:13 > 0:01:15And the Morecambe of wise, Alan Davies!
0:01:15 > 0:01:17CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:01:21 > 0:01:23But before our SWAT team of swots
0:01:23 > 0:01:25done their white coats and clever clogs,
0:01:25 > 0:01:28we should hear their buzzers, and Dara goes...
0:01:28 > 0:01:31BELL
0:01:29 > 0:01:31University College Dublin, O Brien!
0:01:31 > 0:01:33David goes...
0:01:33 > 0:01:36BELL
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Peterhouse, Cambridge, Mitchell!
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Graham goes...
0:01:37 > 0:01:40BELL
0:01:38 > 0:01:40University College, Cork, Norton!
0:01:40 > 0:01:41And Alan goes...
0:01:41 > 0:01:44PING!
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Can I have a P, please, Bob?
0:01:44 > 0:01:45LAUGHTER
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Oh, that's...
0:01:47 > 0:01:50APPLAUSE
0:01:50 > 0:01:54That's completely unfair because Alan is a graduate of the University of Kent,
0:01:54 > 0:01:58and he holds an honorary doctorate, so, Alan, could you press your buzzer again?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00BELL
0:01:59 > 0:02:00The doctor'll see you now!
0:02:00 > 0:02:02LAUGHTER
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Now, a very difficult first question, so I'm going to give you a bit of help.
0:02:06 > 0:02:11- What I'd like you to do, you should have a bit of tissue somewhere near. - ALAN:- I can't see anything!- No!
0:02:11 > 0:02:13- Have you got tissues anywhere?- Yeah.
0:02:13 > 0:02:18I want you to stick a piece of tissue up your left nostril as if you had a nosebleed or something.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20It's weird, OK. Left nostril, very good.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24You've all passed that test. Well, two of you have.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27I'm going for real penetration.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31I can feel that up there.
0:02:31 > 0:02:36If it came out your ear, that would be a worry. All right, now say something intelligent.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39LAUGHTER
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Er...
0:02:43 > 0:02:46A squared equals B squared plus C squared.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49That's very good! If...
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Pythagoras's theorem, you know.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52Yeah, excellent!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Well, no, what this is about,
0:02:54 > 0:02:58do you breathe through your left nostril, your right nostril or both?
0:02:58 > 0:03:00- My arse.- Oi!
0:03:00 > 0:03:05I've always suspected one works better than the other, but I've never kept a note of which it is.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09Well, some people do keep notes of how people breathe.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- Does it not alternate?- You're right, Dara O Brien, it does alternate.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15It has a periodicity of four hours.
0:03:15 > 0:03:21You swap from being mostly left to mostly right, and what's completely weird
0:03:21 > 0:03:25is that you answer questions on different types of subject better
0:03:25 > 0:03:28according to which side you're breathing through.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Am I going to asphyxiate at about half past 12?
0:03:30 > 0:03:35You might, that's a good point! You can breathe through your mouth if you want to.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Should we be keeping notes of when our...you know,
0:03:37 > 0:03:40of what shift work our nostrils are on?
0:03:40 > 0:03:45Oh, the left will be in charge from one till four, that's when I should be doing maths-based things,
0:03:45 > 0:03:47like my tax return.
0:03:47 > 0:03:53If I'm going to write a poem, I'll wait till the more creative right nostril comes on at about 4pm.
0:03:53 > 0:03:59- Breathing through the right nostril, you should be better at visual and spatial tasks.- GRAHAM:- So, now?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Yes, you should be good at visual and spatial things.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05If you block the right one, you should be better at verbal things.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07I know it sounds mad, but you've probably
0:04:07 > 0:04:10heard of the study in '89 called Unilateral Nostril Breathing...
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Oh, that old thing!
0:04:12 > 0:04:15..by Block, Arnott, Quigley and Lynch.
0:04:15 > 0:04:20So why don't all sports people constantly block their left nostrils?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Well, you've probably seen what a lot of sports people do.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27They put a piece of Elastoplast, plaster, the anti-snoring thing,
0:04:27 > 0:04:33and they do that so they're both open at the same time so they get maximum, I guess.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35And often they snort drugs as well.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39- They don't!- When we watch a sports person with one of those things on,
0:04:39 > 0:04:45- they're not only at their best at sport, they're also at their most verbally dextrous?- Indeed!
0:04:45 > 0:04:50- And visually and spatially because both are wide open.- Otherwise they can't even go, "Mine!"
0:04:50 > 0:04:56- No, what have you got? What have you found?- I think I lost the end.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Ohhh!
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- Oh, dear. - It'll reappear, won't it?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Somewhere, yeah, eventually.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06You'll cry it out at some point.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Are these going on eBay?
0:05:10 > 0:05:13- They could do - do you want to sign it?- All right, yeah.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15I think I've already left my mark.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19Blocking the right nostril makes you more emotionally negative,
0:05:19 > 0:05:24according to another study, a higher score on the Spielberger State Anxiety Inventory.
0:05:24 > 0:05:30- So if you wish to feel slightly more cheerful, don't block the right nostril.- So that's why now...
0:05:30 > 0:05:34- Now you're quite happy.- You're quite bouncy and happy, aren't you?
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Oh, now... There, you see, you've blocked the right nostril.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40It's terribly sad.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42LAUGHTER
0:05:42 > 0:05:46Keep them in, I'm going to ask you a question that will test your visual-spatial.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Left? - In the left, keep them left, OK.
0:05:48 > 0:05:53It seems the quickest way to improve verbal reasoning is to shove a tissue up your left nostril.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Let's see how they've worked. Consider...
0:05:56 > 0:06:00an N-dimensional hypercube and connect each pair of vertices
0:06:00 > 0:06:04to obtain a complete graph of two to the power N vertices.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Colour each of the edges of this graph using only the colours red and black.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11What is the smallest number, the smallest value of N
0:06:11 > 0:06:16for which every possible such colouring must necessarily contain a single coloured
0:06:16 > 0:06:19complete sub-graph with four vertices which lie in a plane?
0:06:19 > 0:06:20Six!
0:06:20 > 0:06:23That is exactly what people used to think.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25LAUGHTER
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- APPLAUSE - That's amazing.
0:06:28 > 0:06:33- That's absolutely extraordinary. - Further up there, further!
0:06:34 > 0:06:39Yeah, until 2003, most graph theorists thought the correct answer was probably six.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- I can only apologise.- But...
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Come in here with your old graph-theory knowledge, how dare you!
0:06:45 > 0:06:49It's so difficult, when you've got a busy showbiz lifestyle, to keep up with the graph theory?
0:06:49 > 0:06:53It's probably only eight or nine hours a day you're devoting to it now.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- Well, I have to say, I've got Graham's number.- Six?
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- Have you got Graham's number? - Er, no.- Ah!
0:06:59 > 0:07:04- We don't have that sort of relationship.- You've not got that sort of relationship!
0:07:04 > 0:07:08There is such a thing, which is relevant to this, Graham's number.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- But it's bigger than six. - < Of course it is.- It is so...
0:07:11 > 0:07:16- It is really big. Try and think of a really, really big number.- 17.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Do you know what? It's even bigger than that!
0:07:20 > 0:07:22This number, all right...
0:07:22 > 0:07:28Now get hold of this idea - this number is so big that all the material in the universe, right,
0:07:28 > 0:07:32couldn't make enough ink to write it out.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35It's called Graham's number, named after Ronald Graham,
0:07:35 > 0:07:39and weirdly enough, scientists know that it ends in a seven, which is really strange.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43Why would it end in a seven?! Turn it into an eight and then it's a bigger number!
0:07:43 > 0:07:49I didn't say it was the biggest number ever, it's just this is Graham's number, which is huge.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53- You could have Norton's number. - Yeah, Graham Norton, I made it an eight at the end.
0:07:53 > 0:07:59- You can remove your tissues, incidentally, now.- I think I'll miss it now.- Oh, will you? OK.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02I'm worried about what might come out when I pull it.
0:08:02 > 0:08:08This problem, this graph problem, it seems - imagine the cube with lots of different dimensions
0:08:08 > 0:08:11where each corner is connected with red or black lines to every other,
0:08:11 > 0:08:14what is the fewest number of dimensions so that you end up with
0:08:14 > 0:08:17at least one single coloured square with the same colour diagonals?
0:08:17 > 0:08:23Until 2003, they thought it was six. Now it's been shown that there must be at least 11. It may be 12,
0:08:23 > 0:08:27but it's somewhere between 11 and Graham's number, that enormous number.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32- There's quite a lot of room for error, isn't there?- That's not really an answer, is it?
0:08:32 > 0:08:36The greatest mathematical minds in the world just don't know what the answer is.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- I don't understand the question. - Neither do I.- They don't either, to be honest,
0:08:40 > 0:08:43and they're really hoping nobody checks.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46What they do know is it ends in a seven.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Why are exams so much easier for youngsters these days?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- BELL - Dublin, O Brien!- Yes, Dara.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Thank you very much.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58Firstly, are they actually easier these days, or are they simply marked more generously?
0:08:58 > 0:09:02It is just one of these things, this may be a national thing you do,
0:09:02 > 0:09:07but you've a tendency to presume that you have a very stupid generation of kids in this country.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Then you set them a series of exams, they all get As, and you go, "Proof!"
0:09:11 > 0:09:16- That proves they're stupid, yes! - It is a horrendous Catch 22 if you're a 17-year-old.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19My problem with exams, though, is that more and more people get As,
0:09:19 > 0:09:24so whether that's because they're getting more intelligent or the exam's getting easier, or both,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26it still is defying the point of the exam.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31The point in exams is to tell people apart, not just to go, "You're all great academically!
0:09:31 > 0:09:33"Everyone can be professor of Latin!
0:09:33 > 0:09:38"Share the professor of Latin's salary between you!
0:09:38 > 0:09:43- "And starve!"- You're right, it should be done by a percentile. - Which is how it used to be done.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47And that's the point of our IQ test, and what's interesting about the IQ test
0:09:47 > 0:09:52is that each year it gets better by 0.3%,
0:09:52 > 0:09:56so 3% every ten years, children get smarter, so they have to normalise.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00So if you go back to your great-great-grandparents,
0:10:00 > 0:10:04they would be, under the Mental Health Act of 1983, retarded.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08- Well...- Because they would have an IQ of 70.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12My great-grandfather signed his marriage certificate with a cross so...
0:10:12 > 0:10:16- Was his name Xavier? - I don't think it was!
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Well, perhaps he should have used a pen.
0:10:23 > 0:10:28The only thing that you might say is quite interesting about this, it's called the Flynn effect,
0:10:28 > 0:10:32the fact that people are getting the better at it. Under American law,
0:10:32 > 0:10:37if you have an IQ of 70 or less, you cannot be executed for a capital crime.
0:10:37 > 0:10:42You're considered retarded, and therefore Flynn has often had to go...
0:10:42 > 0:10:45People might have an IQ of 72, which means they're going to die,
0:10:45 > 0:10:50and he will say, "Yeah, but this was taken when he was a child,
0:10:50 > 0:10:56"and revising upwards the 100 norm, he's actually 68 or something, so he is technically retarded,"
0:10:56 > 0:10:58and he can save lives by doing that.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Quite easy to throw an IQ test, I'd have thought.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04- Yeah, but they're taken as children. - They're not smart enough to throw an IQ test!
0:11:04 > 0:11:10That is really planning a murder, if you're seven, going, "I'll put a circle here...
0:11:14 > 0:11:17"In 15 years, you're dead!"
0:11:17 > 0:11:20It's kind of the reverse of the sort of eugenicist argument that
0:11:20 > 0:11:25the Americans are using, where they're letting the stupid live.
0:11:25 > 0:11:30But anyway, young people find IQ tests easier than their parents
0:11:30 > 0:11:34because apparently they're exposed to more problem solving in their life.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38Maybe geniuses are born, not made, and if so, how would you create a genius?
0:11:38 > 0:11:42Is there a way of ensuring a genius?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Breeding two geniuses together...
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- Well...- ..and then giving them a high-fibre diet,
0:11:47 > 0:11:50exposed to lots of vitamin D from the sun...
0:11:50 > 0:11:54You mention eugenicists earlier. Tell me what eugenics is, then.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Yeah, tell us about your theory of eugenics!
0:11:57 > 0:12:04I'm not sure, is it sort of generally trying to breed people to be brighter and stronger and better at things,
0:12:04 > 0:12:08and stopping people from breeding if you think they might have stupid or feeble...?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- People farming!- Nazism.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12People husbandry, isn't it?
0:12:12 > 0:12:17As Alan said, Nazism, of course, is a thing that...
0:12:17 > 0:12:22There were people, quite respectable antecedents and liberal points of view before Nazism
0:12:22 > 0:12:25who believed that eugenics may be a good idea.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- Lots of them, yeah. - Bernard Shaw and many others.
0:12:28 > 0:12:33I did a game show in America a while ago, and there was a contestant on it, this woman,
0:12:33 > 0:12:37and her sort of interesting fact, her fun fact about herself
0:12:37 > 0:12:40was that her father had been a serial killer, right?
0:12:40 > 0:12:46- LAUGHTER - And her other fun fact was she hadn't told her husband
0:12:46 > 0:12:50that her father was a serial killer until after they were married!
0:12:50 > 0:12:54So it's a light-hearted thing, but I'm trying to say to her,
0:12:54 > 0:12:58"Do you think maybe your husband would have been concerned about having children
0:12:58 > 0:13:02"given that there's a serial killer in you somewhere?"
0:13:02 > 0:13:09And she went, "No, no, no, he's been through similar things - his father committed suicide."
0:13:09 > 0:13:14And you just thought, "You've a serial killer and a suicidal man,
0:13:14 > 0:13:17"and you thought that was a good gene pool to be splashing around in!"
0:13:17 > 0:13:22You would give birth to a child who kills himself lots of times.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24A serial suicide, it's terrifying!
0:13:24 > 0:13:28When you say after she'd married him, how long...
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Was it before the speeches?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33LAUGHTER
0:13:33 > 0:13:37"Dad's about to say a few words, this might be worth catching."
0:13:37 > 0:13:43This may explain why he went with orange.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48The only one with plastic cutlery at the wedding reception.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54"Why are they wheeling your dad around with a cage over his face?"
0:13:55 > 0:14:00I suppose what you'd do, then, you'd have a "Come as a serial killer" themed wedding.
0:14:01 > 0:14:08Can we just go back to the past? And on the subject of creating geniuses, who was one of the great geniuses?
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Well, Da Vinci.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Da Vinci is exactly the man I was after.
0:14:12 > 0:14:17He was known to be a genius in his own time. I mean, they knew how astoundingly great he was.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21His brother, Bartolomeo, actually...
0:14:20 > 0:14:21Was an idiot.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24That's awful!
0:14:24 > 0:14:29Bartolomeo married, and he decided he wanted their child to be like
0:14:29 > 0:14:32his brother, Leonardo, and oddly enough, it sort of worked.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33There's Leonardo dying.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37It shows he was kind of worshipped, they realised how great he was.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39What's Rodney Bewes doing in the background?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Yeah, it's defo Rodney Bewes!
0:14:45 > 0:14:46He does look like Rodney Bewes.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Rodney Bewes is the Highlander, is he?
0:14:50 > 0:14:53What a weird, unsettling thing to discover that would be,
0:14:53 > 0:14:58in the context of the credit crunch and everything, suddenly to discover that Rodney Bewes was immortal.
0:14:58 > 0:15:03I mean, can you imagine on the news, "And today it emerged that
0:15:03 > 0:15:07"actor Rodney Bewes has been alive for as long as time"?
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Given the things we've been talking about where I'm pretending to know
0:15:11 > 0:15:15- what you're talking about, I actually really don't know who Rodney Bewes is.- Oh!
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Do you remember The Likely Lads?
0:15:18 > 0:15:21- We didn't get that in Ireland, did we?- No, we didn't.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25- James Bolam...- I know who he is!- And Rodney Bewes. They played a couple...
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- That's basically him there. - Oh, right! >
0:15:27 > 0:15:32The chance of me meeting him in the future are very high.
0:15:32 > 0:15:40I have to say, the whole point about QI, right, is that the rest of the world talks about cultural things,
0:15:40 > 0:15:45reality TV and pop stars and Rodney Bewes, and we talk about Leonardo.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48And what you've done by coming on... No, you actually!
0:15:48 > 0:15:54We started talking about Leonardo, and we've arrived at Rodney Bewes! That's the wrong direction!
0:15:54 > 0:15:56I didn't even know who he was!
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Don't blame me!
0:15:59 > 0:16:01You're so right!
0:16:01 > 0:16:05I'm sorry! I was very unfair on you, Graham.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09I was wafting in the rarefied air of Leonardo.
0:16:09 > 0:16:15The stink bomb of Rodney Bewes was exploded over there.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19To me, Rodney Bewes looks older there than Rodney Bewes in our present time so I think
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Rodney Bewes must, in the future, travel back in time
0:16:23 > 0:16:28to check Leonardo da Vinci's pulse to make absolutely sure he's dead,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31using the futuristic technology of pulse checking.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35The others are all going, "What's this weirdo Rodney Bewes doing?"
0:16:35 > 0:16:39The one on the right has his head in his hands, "It's so embarrassing."
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Why's he holding his hand?
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Yes, Leonardo was such a genius he predicted the Likely Lads.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47LAUGHTER
0:16:47 > 0:16:51He wanted James Bolam and Rodney Bewes has turned up.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54That's why he's going, "Oh, no, it's Bewes."
0:16:54 > 0:16:59The one on the right has definitely got his hand on his head for that reason.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01We ordered John Cleese and Connie Booth.
0:17:01 > 0:17:07The one on the left is gesturing towards Rodney Bewes as if to say, "Leonardo, who's this dick?"
0:17:07 > 0:17:08LAUGHTER
0:17:08 > 0:17:12"Seriously? Rodney Bewes?" >
0:17:12 > 0:17:16"You brought Rodney Bewes here as a doctor?!"
0:17:16 > 0:17:18That's Matthew Kelly anyway, that one.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Oh no! No, don't make it Matthew Kelly.
0:17:22 > 0:17:29Oh, Lord. I've now got a horrible feeling that the Brian Blessed on the end has had his head sawn off.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33He's had his brain taken out.
0:17:33 > 0:17:38- AS BRIAN BLESSED: - That is no longer Brian Blessed! He's turned into somebody else!
0:17:38 > 0:17:41APPLAUSE
0:17:41 > 0:17:43I wanted...
0:17:43 > 0:17:47I wanted to discuss the fact that, unbeknownst to him,
0:17:47 > 0:17:50when Leonardo died, he had a nephew called Pierino,
0:17:50 > 0:17:53who was brought up to be a genius and actually kind of was.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56He was sent to Florence and demonstrated great talent,
0:17:56 > 0:18:01- but sadly he died aged only 22, leaving 20 works behind him.- Pushed out of a window by Michelangelo.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Or possibly by Mozart.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Working in tandem.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Yes...
0:18:09 > 0:18:16- Having stolen Rodney Bewes' time-travelling technology. - Exactly, it all makes sense.- Yes.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Sort of, yeah.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Which was the first animal to be cloned?
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Well it can't be...
0:18:25 > 0:18:27It's not Dolly the sheep then.
0:18:27 > 0:18:32No, you're right. You have all been so good at avoiding the honey traps.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35No, but I thought it was Dolly the sheep, but it's not.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39Not the first animal, no. We have to go back to the 1880s for the first cloning.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Yes, it was a sea creature actually.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44- An octopus or something? - No, it was a sea urchin.
0:18:44 > 0:18:49There's one. This was a German called Dreisch who did it in 1885.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54But in 1902, another German, Hans Spemann, cloned a salamander.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58He used a rudimentary noose to to separate the cells of an embryo,
0:18:58 > 0:19:02and the noose was made of the hair of a human baby.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06He used it as a lasso just to separate. Isn't that marvellous?
0:19:06 > 0:19:11- That's fiddly work. - It is very fiddly work.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14There must have been lots of times where he used to go... SHOUTS
0:19:17 > 0:19:21"Could I please have another baby's hair?"
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Go back to the baby. "Argh!"
0:19:27 > 0:19:29"One Guinea, madam."
0:19:29 > 0:19:32All the people trying to keep him calm. "Would you like another...
0:19:32 > 0:19:34"NO, I DON'T WANT ANOTHER COFFEE!"
0:19:34 > 0:19:39They'll go, "Do you want me to have a go?"
0:19:39 > 0:19:45But Dolly, Dolly was in 1996, Dolly the sheep was the one you cleverly avoided. But why Dolly?
0:19:45 > 0:19:53- Why poor Dolly, do you know?- It was named after Dolly Parton because the cell came from the mammary glands.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54Correctly correctington.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Well done, sir. Excellent.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58APPLAUSE
0:20:01 > 0:20:06Do you think there was a point where they go, "We can just get another sheep and say there it is.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08"It's genetically identical that one, yes.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12"Those two sheep look similar, well, that's because they're genetically identical."
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Oddly enough, things can be genetically identical and rather surprising,
0:20:16 > 0:20:20because the first cat to be cloned was called Rainbow
0:20:20 > 0:20:24and her clone was known as CC. There.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27They just didn't put the effort in, did they?
0:20:27 > 0:20:31They went to all the pet shops for that little faker.
0:20:31 > 0:20:38They could at least have sent the guy who they sent to get the kitten with a photo.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Not just, "Get any cat."
0:20:41 > 0:20:44The little kitten is called CC.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- Points if you can guess what that stands for.- Cat clone?
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Wittier, or sort of wittier.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51- Say? - AUDIENCE: Copycat.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Points to the audience. Copycat, you see?
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Very good.
0:20:55 > 0:21:00The operation was known as Operation Copycat, it was part of a larger project to clone a dog.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03LAUGHTER
0:21:03 > 0:21:06It was called Missy, Missyplicity named after a dog named Missy.
0:21:06 > 0:21:11The world's first cloned dog from Korea was called Snuppy.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Then they ate it.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14LAUGHTER
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Anyway, the point is the first animal to be cloned was the sea urchin way back in 1885.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Since then, many other animals have been given the treatment,
0:21:26 > 0:21:29including the first cloned cats which look nothing like each other.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33No, it doesn't take a genius to know that it's time to look for some general ignorance.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Fingers on buzzers, if you would. How old are you?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39LAUGHTER
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- BELL - Norton.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44How old do I look?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46BELL
0:21:46 > 0:21:49How old do I feel?
0:21:49 > 0:21:52It just shows you the effect of this game, though.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55You ask a question, and all four of us think that's something
0:21:55 > 0:21:59I definitely know the answer to, but I've been made so uncertain that
0:21:59 > 0:22:03I'm not even willing to give my own age, name or address.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06How can this possibly be a trap? I am 37.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- BELL - 37. There we go, no points for that.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12ALARM BLARES
0:22:13 > 0:22:15But that's not wrong!
0:22:15 > 0:22:19DAVID: Don't accept it, you are!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21GRAHAM: We should all do it.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23BELL 34.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- 34, eh?- 34. ALARM BLARES
0:22:28 > 0:22:29You don't want to do this.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- BELL - Graham Norton, 46.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34ALARM BLARES
0:22:35 > 0:22:37ALAN: I'm not doing it.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38LAUGHTER
0:22:38 > 0:22:43Obviously, as the baby that was called Graham,
0:22:43 > 0:22:46or Dara or David or Alan,
0:22:46 > 0:22:50arrived on the planet the number of years ago that you said,
0:22:50 > 0:22:53but that's not how old you are whenever I touch you.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55If I touch your arm, how old is that arm? Is it as old as that?
0:22:55 > 0:22:58About six weeks old, something like that?
0:22:58 > 0:23:01DAVID: Is it five years we replace our entire selves?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04There are different bits of one, that's right.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08- DARA: Your cells regenerate.- Your red blood cells last only 120 days.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11A liver has a turnaround time of 300 to 500 days, 1.5 years.
0:23:11 > 0:23:12GRAHAM: Hurry up!
0:23:12 > 0:23:16LAUGHTER
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Give it a chance to recover.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23The entire human skeleton is replaced every 10 years or so, so all of your bones.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Really? That's good, isn't it?
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Yeah, it is!
0:23:27 > 0:23:30They're replaced in an aged way, rather annoyingly,
0:23:30 > 0:23:34- rather than a brand new one. - So they're replaced with second-hand ones?
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Not exactly used, no.
0:23:35 > 0:23:41I'm thinking of trading in my eight year-old Mazda for an eight and a bit year-old Mazda.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45I'm afraid that's how it goes, yes. It's all rather unfortunate.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48An adult's body may turnout somewhere between seven and ten years old
0:23:48 > 0:23:52in terms of its cells, though some cells are much younger.
0:23:52 > 0:23:57And 98% of the 7 billion billion billion atoms in the human body are replaced yearly.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01I think some of my socks are older than I am.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03That's a marvellous thought.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07I feel I should defer to them.
0:24:07 > 0:24:12Yes, you've been around longer than me. Most of the cells in your body aren't your own, they're not human.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15This is bacteria?
0:24:15 > 0:24:19Yes, they're bacteria. In fact, more than 500 different species,
0:24:19 > 0:24:23more than ten times the number of human cells. Isn't that interesting?
0:24:23 > 0:24:27On average, all the cells in your body are around ten years old.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31How did the Church of England originally react to Darwin's theory of evolution?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- They weren't happy about it. - They weren't happy about it!
0:24:34 > 0:24:37BELL They didn't get it, I don't think.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Nobody really got it for a while.
0:24:39 > 0:24:44He delivered it to a meeting of the Royal Society, I think it was, and people just kind of went, "Oh, OK."
0:24:44 > 0:24:47That's true of his original paper, but when he published
0:24:47 > 0:24:50The Origin Of Species, it was a massive bestseller.
0:24:50 > 0:24:55It fact it sold out even before it was printed, and he was a gigantic figure of his time.
0:24:55 > 0:25:00He was one of only five people not royal to be given a burial at Westminster Abbey.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02They absolutely understood his greatness.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06The surprising thing is the Church of England were not that worried at all.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09But for many years most churchmen had encouraged people to believe
0:25:09 > 0:25:12that a lot of the Bible was metaphorical,
0:25:12 > 0:25:15not literally true, but if there's anything
0:25:15 > 0:25:19- shocking about it to them, it's that it shows nature doesn't care.- Yes.
0:25:19 > 0:25:25The idea of a linear evolution they thought was fine, that might have been part of God's plan,
0:25:25 > 0:25:30but the true understanding of evolution also shows that nature is completely horrific.
0:25:30 > 0:25:35That was the major part the Victorians hated because they loved the countryside and birdsong.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38This is Alexander's All Things Bright And Beautiful.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42And instead they're locked in a vicious struggle for survival where all...
0:25:42 > 0:25:48All animals are hungry and afraid and they die before they get old and it's a miserable, hard life.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Unless they live in zoos, where they're quite stress-free.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54It is, it's a life they wouldn't expect in the wild.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57The Origin Of Species was widely respected by mainstream churchmen
0:25:57 > 0:25:59at the time of its publication.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Finally, how many brains did the man with two brains have?
0:26:03 > 0:26:06- Two.- Yes.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08LAUGHTER
0:26:08 > 0:26:09That's brilliant!
0:26:09 > 0:26:11APPLAUSE
0:26:11 > 0:26:13It's so cruel!
0:26:15 > 0:26:18He's wise enough to spot a double bluff.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21This is a technique of the bully.
0:26:21 > 0:26:27You hit us and then you go, "What, did you think I was going to hit you?
0:26:27 > 0:26:31"I wasn't going to hit you. I've just lifted my hand to stroke you."
0:26:32 > 0:26:34HE WHIMPERS
0:26:36 > 0:26:40You're so right, that's exactly what we do.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44The fact is that Dr Michael Gerschwin has proved that we all have two brains.
0:26:44 > 0:26:51Your gut has an enteric nervous system and it's the only part of the body that can operate
0:26:51 > 0:26:56perfectly if all connections are cut from the upper brain, from the real brain, the thing we call the brain.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00It doesn't have the intelligence and consciousness of the brain, but it operates separately.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02In that sense we do have two brains.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06How bright would our stomachs be in the animal kingdom?
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Would they be cleverer than an octopus?
0:27:07 > 0:27:13I doubt it, I think they're just good at one thing and that's preparing poo for exit.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Basically, it's not even the stomach, it's the gut.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20It's the greater and lesser intestine, the colon.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25Like all of us, The Man With Two Brains actually did have two brains, according to the latest thinking.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28The gut does act as a separate brain, so pens down, stop writing.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31That's it for our exam today, geniuses. Time to mark your papers.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Well, my goodness, my gracious,
0:27:33 > 0:27:37the newcomer with minus 19, Graham Norton.
0:27:37 > 0:27:38APPLAUSE
0:27:42 > 0:27:47In third place, with minus eight, David Mitchell.
0:27:47 > 0:27:48APPLAUSE
0:27:52 > 0:27:57In second place with a very respectable minus seven, Dara O Brien.
0:27:57 > 0:27:58APPLAUSE
0:28:01 > 0:28:05Which can only mean, with today's geniuses of geniuses of genius
0:28:05 > 0:28:07is Alan Davies with four points!
0:28:07 > 0:28:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:15 > 0:28:19So that's all from QI. My thanks go to Graham, Dara, David and Alan.
0:28:19 > 0:28:22I leave you with our genius Leonardo da Vinci's favourite joke.
0:28:22 > 0:28:26It was asked of a painter, why, since he made such beautiful figures,
0:28:26 > 0:28:31which were of dead things, why his children were so ugly, to which the painter replied
0:28:31 > 0:28:35that he made his pictures by day, but his children by night.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:44 > 0:28:46E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk