0:00:26 > 0:00:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Oh!
0:00:30 > 0:00:37Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening.
0:00:37 > 0:00:44And welcome to an idiot-proof episode of QI for a quite interesting look at intelligence.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48Joining us tonight are some of the biggest brains of Britain.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51The discerning David Mitchell.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56The judicious Jo Brand.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03The perspicacious Phill Jupitus!
0:01:08 > 0:01:11And the...Alan Davies.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21And they're absolutely buzzing with intelligence. David goes...
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- MASTERMIND THEME - Jo goes...
0:01:26 > 0:01:28MASTERMIND THEME
0:01:30 > 0:01:34- Phill goes... - MASTERMIND THEME
0:01:34 > 0:01:37- And Alan goes... - "Er, pass."
0:01:38 > 0:01:40LAUGHTER
0:01:40 > 0:01:42There we are.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48Don't forget your "Nobody knows" jokers. Would you dream of forgetting them?
0:01:48 > 0:01:54Yes, in this series there is one question to which nobody knows the answer.
0:01:54 > 0:02:01Question one is pretty challenging and very much what is discussed by academics in the finest universities
0:02:01 > 0:02:07so you may want to make notes. How do you get a goose interested in volleyball?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Jo?
0:02:09 > 0:02:15I'd like to reply with a question. How do you get ANYONE interested in volleyball?
0:02:15 > 0:02:18I believe the removal of clothes is part of the...
0:02:18 > 0:02:21That's beach volleyball.
0:02:21 > 0:02:26Well, when I say "in volleyball", I should use an indefinite article.
0:02:26 > 0:02:33- There's being interested in volleyball and in a volleyball. - Ah! Make one out of goose food.
0:02:33 > 0:02:39Oddly enough, you don't need to do that. Their natural egg is light blue and flecked with grey.
0:02:39 > 0:02:45Scientists have found that you can make the eggs bigger and bigger and really bright blue
0:02:45 > 0:02:50with great big black polka dots and they'll sit on those instead.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54- There's no upper limit... - It's about the shape and the colour.
0:02:54 > 0:03:01It's like us. We should eat enough food to keep ourselves alive, but we have no upper limit.
0:03:01 > 0:03:09- We'll eat another bar of chocolate and end up looking like me.- Is that why you wear the Cadbury's livery?
0:03:09 > 0:03:11LAUGHTER
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Hoping for a freebie as always.
0:03:14 > 0:03:20It is, evolutionarily speaking, the bigger the egg, the more likely it is to want to sit on it
0:03:20 > 0:03:27- because it's more likely to be a healthy, larger chick.- "This will be the most amazing goose ever!"
0:03:27 > 0:03:33And so they'll sit on a volleyball. That's a kind of flaw in nature, if you like.
0:03:33 > 0:03:39We have to include ourselves in this. There are certain things we don't need in excess,
0:03:39 > 0:03:45like sugar and fat and sex, but we spend lots of time eating chocolate and doing things on the internet.
0:03:45 > 0:03:50Sounds like my perfect holiday. Sugar, fat and sex. Yes, please!
0:03:51 > 0:03:57- But we've got the awareness that we do that.- We do.- The goose on the volleyball isn't thinking,
0:03:57 > 0:04:02"This is a bit much. The world doesn't need giant geese."
0:04:02 > 0:04:07You're right. We have the extra curse of consciousness that we are fools.
0:04:07 > 0:04:14It's called supernormal stimuli and it seems to exist in a lot of species, actually.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Anyway, geese like their eggs the bigger the better.
0:04:17 > 0:04:23They don't know when to stop, which seems stupid, but name an intelligent bird.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Yes?
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Me.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:04:34 > 0:04:40I don't think there are any intelligent birds. Their brains are so incredibly tiny.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44- Well...- Like an owl. I know this as a thing.
0:04:45 > 0:04:51- 65% of the skull is the eyes. The brain is virtually nothing. - You're right.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54It's very hard to judge in a bird.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Can they count, is one. There are birds that can count.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Cormorants can count to eight.
0:05:01 > 0:05:07You may say, "No, hang on..." but they are used by Chinese fishermen.
0:05:07 > 0:05:13- They catch a fish and drop it on the boat...- One!- And the eighth one they keep for themselves.- Eight!
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- "That's mine."- Finished.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20"Nine!" Erp!
0:05:20 > 0:05:27But the generally smartest group is not smart because they count, but because they solve problems.
0:05:27 > 0:05:33- These are the corvids.- Crows! - The crows, the ravens, the jackdaws,
0:05:33 > 0:05:37the magpies. What's interesting is they can look at a problem.
0:05:37 > 0:05:42I've seen experiments where they've had a gate that's pulled up on a string
0:05:42 > 0:05:46which goes round a sort of pulley system and they will look at it
0:05:46 > 0:05:51and then go straight to pull the right piece of string.
0:05:51 > 0:05:57We've got film here, for example, of a crow. There. It hasn't seen this hook at all.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Ever. It's its first time.
0:06:00 > 0:06:05It's working it out. It's seen that it has a bent end.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- And now it's pulling that out. - How bizarre.- Quite extraordinary.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12And now it's got its food.
0:06:12 > 0:06:19- They do seem like the most evil birds.- They're often considered creatures of ill omen, aren't they?
0:06:19 > 0:06:23But you're just seeing them with Carmina Burana playing.
0:06:23 > 0:06:30- Imagine a crow...- I should get something else for my iPod? - Tijuana Taxi by Herb Alpert.
0:06:30 > 0:06:35That's a nice crow. Put a sombrero on it, take the edge off it.
0:06:35 > 0:06:41- But if you had Carmina Burana and a robin, you wouldn't think it was evil.- I would!- Would you?
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Dirty bastard robin!
0:06:44 > 0:06:50Anyway, there are intelligent birds and the crow family display intelligence aplenty.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54How long does the perfect job interview last?
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Yes, Jo?
0:06:56 > 0:06:59How long does a blowjob take?
0:06:59 > 0:07:02LAUGHTER
0:07:05 > 0:07:12The extraordinary thing is the answer is exactly what I've got on my card - 12 seconds!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- LAUGHTER - You're absolutely right!
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Wow. Very good.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22It does seem that 12 seconds is enough.
0:07:22 > 0:07:28And, bizarrely, you don't even have to hear. You can see video of someone and most people will agree
0:07:28 > 0:07:34to give him or her the job. After 12 seconds, the mind has been made up, it seems.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38Something about the attitude, the confidence, whatever it is,
0:07:38 > 0:07:42if it hasn't come across in 12 seconds, it won't.
0:07:42 > 0:07:47- Or so it would seem. Have you ever had to apply for a job?- Loads.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51- Never got any of them. - You're here, aren't you?- True.
0:07:51 > 0:07:57- But I slept with you, as you well know.- One of the best 12 seconds of my life!
0:08:05 > 0:08:09But I have applied for loads of jobs and not got a lot of them,
0:08:09 > 0:08:13but so much is to do with appearance, isn't it?
0:08:13 > 0:08:20As a fat person, you are pretty swiftly written off if there's a thin person in the offing.
0:08:20 > 0:08:27- That sort of thing makes a really big difference. - And they would never dare admit it.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Well, they told me a few times.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34"We'd love to employ you, but we've got a thin person."
0:08:34 > 0:08:40- "I understand."- Outrageous! How about you, Alan? What have you done before you went into comedy?
0:08:40 > 0:08:44- I never wanted to have a job. - Really?!
0:08:44 > 0:08:49- In the event of an interview, wear flip-flops. - LAUGHTER
0:08:49 > 0:08:53You will never be employed. Go in, put your feet up on the desk.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59- And they'll get the next person in! - That's fair.
0:08:59 > 0:09:05We have here a list of job interview questions you shouldn't ask, if we're the interviewing panel.
0:09:05 > 0:09:13You're not to ask, "Are you a smoker?" "Are you originally from the OK?" The UK!
0:09:13 > 0:09:17But if you're interviewing for a cowboy, it's a good question.
0:09:17 > 0:09:23I was going to say it's not OK to say, "Are you originally from the UK?" I screwed it up.
0:09:23 > 0:09:30- "Do you have children who need to be looked after?"- "In the event of a fire, will you stop working?"
0:09:30 > 0:09:38"Do you plan to have children in future?" And then, "What are your weaknesses?" is a common one.
0:09:38 > 0:09:44The temptation, of course, is to attempt to subvert it by naming a weakness that is a strength.
0:09:44 > 0:09:50"Oh, my trouble is I'm just a terrible perfectionist. I can't stop until it's perfect."
0:09:50 > 0:09:56- "I'm so punctual!"- "My problem is I'm really nice. I'm too nice."
0:09:56 > 0:10:01That is transparent. Don't do that. Say one that is not terrible,
0:10:01 > 0:10:06like, "I tend to get bogged down in details, but I'm making an effort."
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- "I'm a terrible thief." - LAUGHTER
0:10:11 > 0:10:16- "I love other people's stuff." - "I can't concentr... Oh, look! A squirrel!"
0:10:16 > 0:10:23"What are your weaknesses?" "Heroin and masturbating, not necessarily in that order."
0:10:24 > 0:10:30- "What are your strengths?" Here's another one.- "My odour. I've got a powerful odour.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34"It only gets stronger as the day goes on."
0:10:34 > 0:10:36LAUGHTER
0:10:38 > 0:10:46- You're still wearing your "I don't want a bloody job" hat! - "These feet stink by four o'clock."
0:10:46 > 0:10:53Don't say, "I'm confident, outgoing and a natural leader." That suggests a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler.
0:10:53 > 0:11:00Say, "I have good interpersonal skills." If I met someone who said that, I'd get a rusty knife and...
0:11:00 > 0:11:06- Until they bled to death! - "I've got good interpersonal skills" is proof that you don't!- Exactly!
0:11:06 > 0:11:10You immediately annoy the person you're talking to.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14"I'm comfortable taking instructions from idiots like you."
0:11:14 > 0:11:17LAUGHTER
0:11:17 > 0:11:23There are weird things like the person interviewing you falls asleep. The smart thing to do
0:11:23 > 0:11:27- is leave a note saying, "I enjoyed meeting you."- Is it?!
0:11:27 > 0:11:32- I'd say that's an incredibly unassertive thing to do.- I agree.
0:11:32 > 0:11:37"Wake up, you lazy sod! This is my life we're talking about!"
0:11:37 > 0:11:39So you mustn't lick their face?
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- LAUGHTER - Now that would be good.
0:11:42 > 0:11:48Imagine them waking up and you're there with your tongue on their nose.
0:11:51 > 0:11:58I had a job in the Civil Service - loved that(!) - for six months and they asked me the wrong question.
0:11:58 > 0:12:04If they'd said to me, "Are you likely in three months' time to get pissed in the club bar,
0:12:04 > 0:12:08"go back to your desk, fall asleep and then fall off your chair?"
0:12:08 > 0:12:14I could have said yes and they could have not given me the job, but that is what happened and I got sacked.
0:12:14 > 0:12:21- They stupidly didn't have a question for that.- The wrong question.- No one but themselves to blame.- Absolutely.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25They also ask, "How many piano tuners are there in the UK?"
0:12:25 > 0:12:30- What?!- It tests your initiative or your wit when you give an answer.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34"Will you take advantage of Bring Your Kestrel To Work Thursday?"
0:12:34 > 0:12:39The whole thing sounds horrible, the world of job interviews.
0:12:39 > 0:12:46The thing that seems unfair to me is people expected to pretend to care about jobs they don't care about.
0:12:46 > 0:12:52You should be allowed to say, "You can't put in my contract that I have to seem like I give a shit".
0:12:52 > 0:12:55- LAUGHTER - That's expecting too much.
0:12:55 > 0:13:00I really like living in a country with such poor customer service.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02I've got respect for that.
0:13:02 > 0:13:09"This is a horrible train, you're tearing tickets. Of course you're in an awful mood."
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Now that you've put it like that I shall feel better about it.
0:13:13 > 0:13:19Why have a cheesy grin on your face if you work in an awful supermarket?
0:13:19 > 0:13:22It's the sign either of a liar or a moron.
0:13:22 > 0:13:28- Exactly.- It's funny when people are rude in shops, isn't it? It still takes you by surprise.
0:13:28 > 0:13:34My wife went to a shop today to buy an ironing basket. "I've never heard of such a thing.
0:13:34 > 0:13:41- "I have no idea where you would find something like that."- "You've just put two words next to each other
0:13:41 > 0:13:47- "in a mad way!" - Me and my mates would deliberately go to a Chinese restaurant
0:13:47 > 0:13:51near Wardour Street because they were so foul to you.
0:13:51 > 0:13:58The best ever time we went there, we were actually moved mid-meal to a different floor.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00LAUGHTER
0:14:00 > 0:14:03"You go upstair now!"
0:14:04 > 0:14:09"Excuse me?" "You go upstair now. This table booked."
0:14:09 > 0:14:13"I'm in the middle of my dinner!" "You go upstair!"
0:14:13 > 0:14:17An army of waiters moved our meal. I was pissing myself!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20LAUGHTER Fantastic.
0:14:20 > 0:14:27Job interviews only need to last 12 seconds, it seems. Would you like to see an ingenious interlude?
0:14:27 > 0:14:32- I've been trying to get better at these chemistry experiments. - These are my favourite bits.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35They are fun. This is a speaker, as you can see.
0:14:35 > 0:14:42This is cornflour mixed with water, as you would buy in any high street cornflour shop or supermarket.
0:14:42 > 0:14:48- It's used as a thickening agent. - It's not green, though.- We've made i green to make it stand out more.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53It has a particular property. It's a non-Newtonian fluid. It's very peculiar.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56I'm going to pour it here. Gloopy, I think, is the word.
0:14:56 > 0:15:02And unlike most liquids which change their viscosity according to their temperature,
0:15:02 > 0:15:05these change according to pressure
0:15:05 > 0:15:09and we hope that a bit of sound played by Ben, our sound man...
0:15:09 > 0:15:12- LOW VIBRATING SOUND Hello!- It's beginning to vibrate.
0:15:12 > 0:15:18As it gets louder, the effect will get more extraordinary... It's a wonderful feeling.
0:15:18 > 0:15:23- LAUGHTER - I might be able to give it a tickle with a spoon. There we go.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25There you are.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27If I keep... Oops!
0:15:27 > 0:15:33And you start to get basically little Morphs making love with each other.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35LAUGHTER
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- It's so weird. - Isn't it? There you go.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43You have just screwed every stereo of every QI viewer.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Isn't that creepy?
0:15:47 > 0:15:51- Margaret, get the cornflour! - It's like little wavy, green people.
0:15:51 > 0:15:55And they're all rising and making love.
0:15:55 > 0:16:02- That's what you say!- You're adding that.- It looks like it. - I think they're being burned alive.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06- Some of them are waving. - "Help me, I'm drowning!"
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Isn't it extraordinary?
0:16:08 > 0:16:12And all that is is water and cornflour. It's quite amazing.
0:16:12 > 0:16:17- What?!- It's the actual vibrations, the physical effect that changes the viscosity.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Let's all gather round.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24- They climb out... They look as if they're trying to climb out.- Yes.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30- It's rather beautiful. - That is fantastic.- Isn't it?
0:16:30 > 0:16:33It's like a glimpse into hell, isn't it?
0:16:33 > 0:16:38- All the souls writhing around, trying to escape. - That's just what it looks like.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- Maybe it is.- Yes, souls in agony.
0:16:41 > 0:16:46And then it goes quiet again and settles back into liquid form.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- Isn't that amazing? - APPLAUSE
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Well, I've got, um...
0:16:55 > 0:16:59I've got clingfilm, but they've not furnished me with a wet wipe.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Oh, look at the muck on 'ere!
0:17:04 > 0:17:10- Would you like a tissue? - "I was at work tonight and I got green gunk all over me purple suit!
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- "Eeh, I look like Jack Nicholson!" - Oh, there we are.
0:17:13 > 0:17:18There are various non-Newtonian fluids. They are working on a liquid armour,
0:17:18 > 0:17:24which is weird, but the higher the pressure of the bullet, the more solid the liquid will become.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28- How am I only seeing this for the first time tonight?- It's exciting.
0:17:28 > 0:17:34Every time I go round someone's house, why aren't they playing dub reggae and getting the cornflour out
0:17:34 > 0:17:40You know what to do next time. Now, what is this robot designed to do?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- "MASTERMIND" THEME - Blimey! Yes?
0:17:44 > 0:17:47To overthrow the puny humans?
0:17:47 > 0:17:50That's what most robots are designed to do.
0:17:50 > 0:17:55- It's for hanging a jacket on.- This is actually an iron-shirt robot.
0:17:55 > 0:18:01It irons your shirt. You put on a shirt and it puffs up and irons it, gets rid of its creases.
0:18:01 > 0:18:06I think it might be a replacement husband because it's just sitting there doing fuck-all.
0:18:07 > 0:18:12That would be a good job. The fact is, there was so much promise for robots
0:18:12 > 0:18:15and a lot of artificial intelligence research.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Sorry, is it just this atmosphere? Are you thirsty?
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Can we have a drink? Thank you.
0:18:22 > 0:18:29- I've got a friend here who's going to give me a drink.- It's not like Yo! Sushi, is it?- No. Here we are.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32APPLAUSE
0:18:35 > 0:18:37'This is for you.'
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Thank you.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44That's very kind of you. Welcome to QI, Asimo.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47'Thank you, Stephen. It is great to be here.'
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Isn't he marvellous?
0:18:49 > 0:18:54"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, opening doors..."
0:18:55 > 0:19:02- You're the most advanced humanoid robot on the planet? Is that right? - 'That is what they tell me.'
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Why don't you show us what you can do?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07'I would love to.'
0:19:08 > 0:19:13- Is he going to kill me? - Honestly, I promise you you are going to be impressed.
0:19:14 > 0:19:19I mean, this is... This movement that is so simple to us...
0:19:19 > 0:19:26They can do calculations we could never dream of doing, any computer, but this movement he's doing...
0:19:26 > 0:19:28He's going to go down a step, right?
0:19:28 > 0:19:33- Give him time. - If he falls over, that's 20 million quid up the Swanee!
0:19:33 > 0:19:36APPLAUSE
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Now...
0:19:41 > 0:19:43LAUGHTER
0:19:43 > 0:19:49Now he'll do something that I think no-one in this room will ever have seen, which is truly miraculous.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52"Studio audience killed by runaway robot!"
0:19:52 > 0:19:57No, he's going to run. I'd like you to run, Asimo. This takes him a bit of time.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01Both feet will leave the ground and he will run.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03There he goes.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Ohh! APPLAUSE
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Isn't that amazing?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10- It is.- Isn't that incredible?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Well done.
0:20:16 > 0:20:21Well done, Asimo. I think it's only fair that you get some points.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25'Thanks, but what I would really lik is a dance with Jo.'
0:20:25 > 0:20:27LAUGHTER
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- Oh, my word! - I think that can be arranged.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38He wouldn't say that if he'd met me.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41'Hi, Jo.'
0:20:41 > 0:20:45Hi, Asimo. I'm married. Sorry.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50DISCO MUSIC
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Oh, yes!
0:21:13 > 0:21:15CHEERING
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Well done, everybody.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - And he's bowing!
0:21:31 > 0:21:33LAUGHTER
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Amazing!
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- I've scored! - Thank you very much, Asimo.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Goodbye then.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- What's the battery like on one of these?- Love you!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47APPLAUSE
0:21:52 > 0:21:54There he goes.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- Round the corner.- I can't help feeling he's heavily weaponised.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02- Should be in the movies. - Why do you think he's called Asimo?
0:22:02 > 0:22:07It's bloody depressing that even a robot can dance better than I can!
0:22:08 > 0:22:11I presume it's an acronym, is it?
0:22:11 > 0:22:16- Asimo?- Is it a tribute to Isaac Asimov?- No, that's what a lot of people assume.
0:22:16 > 0:22:22It's a coincidence. It's from the Japanese. "Asi" means "feet" and "mo" is short for "movement".
0:22:22 > 0:22:26They're most proud, you can see why, of his extraordinary ability.
0:22:26 > 0:22:32The amount of technology that goes into a machine that can walk bipedally like that and run!
0:22:32 > 0:22:38I'm not absolutely sure about the voice. It sounds a bit like Michael Jackson which is a bit chilling.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Yeah, it would be more reassuring if it was a mechanical voice.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44What, like a more sort of...
0:22:44 > 0:22:48GRUFF VOICE: "Hello, Jo, do you want to dance?"
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Or maybe Bernard Manning?
0:22:50 > 0:22:54- Or Ste-phen Haw-king, it could talk to you like him.- That's very good.
0:22:54 > 0:22:59I think it would have been more reassuring if its dancing was like robotic dancing,
0:22:59 > 0:23:02rather than trying to be human.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05I find its attempts to be human tragic.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07LAUGHTER
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Well, aren't you easily pleased(?)
0:23:09 > 0:23:15I'd like for it to be like Jerry Springer. The robot runs on and goes "Who are you cal-ling rub-bish?"
0:23:15 > 0:23:17LAUGHTER
0:23:17 > 0:23:22Then big blokes in QI black T-shirts have to pull it off... LAUGHTER
0:23:22 > 0:23:26ROBOTIC VOICE: "Get off me, you slags! Get off me, you slags!
0:23:26 > 0:23:28"He was asking for it."
0:23:28 > 0:23:31"I want a DNA test!"
0:23:31 > 0:23:33LAUGHTER
0:23:33 > 0:23:34APPLAUSE
0:23:38 > 0:23:43At the moment, he can recognise people, objects and gestures. He has cameras in there.
0:23:43 > 0:23:50He can calculate distances and the direction of movement and create flexible routes to a destination.
0:23:50 > 0:23:55He can hear and speak to an extent. He can understand about 50 different calls and greetings,
0:23:55 > 0:23:59as well as 30 different commands and react to them accordingly.
0:23:59 > 0:24:05There's a long way to go, but I was bloody impressed. Thank you very much to Asimo and his handlers.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08APPLAUSE
0:24:11 > 0:24:17That brings us to the all-too human world of general ignorance. Fingers on buzzers, if you please.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21How many piano tuners are there in the UK?
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Is the right answer!
0:24:25 > 0:24:29- 'Nobody knows.'- Yes, get in there... - APPLAUSE
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Yes, it's a very strange thing,
0:24:32 > 0:24:38but even the British Association of Piano Tuners has no idea how many piano tuners there are.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Somewhere between 1,000 and 10,000 is their guess.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46- That's a very wide gap.- It is a very wide gap. They just don't know.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51You could try and work it out. You could look in the Yellow Pages and count them.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55Don't people have to put what their job is in the Census?
0:24:55 > 0:25:00A piano tuner is often a moonlighting job, not necessarily a full-time one.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Now, when was time immemorial?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07# The Simpsons! #
0:25:07 > 0:25:10LAUGHTER
0:25:12 > 0:25:15HUMS "THE SIMPSONS" THEME TUNE
0:25:17 > 0:25:21- The time before The Simpsons started?- That would count.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25- I don't understand what "time immemorial" means. - If you say, for example...
0:25:25 > 0:25:31If you can prove in a court of law that you've been grazing your sheep on some land since time immemorial,
0:25:31 > 0:25:35you don't have to re-justify your right to do it.
0:25:35 > 0:25:42- It's an established practice that has been done since time immemorial. - It doesn't mean "for ever"?- No.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45It specifically, originally meant the 6th of July, 1189.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47LAUGHTER
0:25:47 > 0:25:54There must have been a lot of excitement in the run-up to that. "It's time immemorial tomorrow!"
0:25:55 > 0:25:59- And there'd be... - "At last we can get things sorted.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02"Whatever's happening tomorrow, we stick to."
0:26:03 > 0:26:09It was the day of the coronation of a particular sovereign in our country.
0:26:09 > 0:26:15- Richard I.- You read History and that's damn good. It wasn't a wasted education. It was indeed Richard I
0:26:15 > 0:26:18who was crowned in 1189.
0:26:18 > 0:26:23It was decided then that the first Statute of Westminster,
0:26:23 > 0:26:28which was a few years after his reign, it defined his reign as the limit of legal memory.
0:26:28 > 0:26:33Did they have to raise such an army just to catch those two seagulls?
0:26:33 > 0:26:36LAUGHTER
0:26:36 > 0:26:38"There they are!
0:26:38 > 0:26:41"After them, men!
0:26:41 > 0:26:44"They've been flying since time immemorial!"
0:26:44 > 0:26:50The one on the right is saying, "I can't believe we're doing all this for those two poxy seagulls!"
0:26:50 > 0:26:56Do you think the French, when they saw them, thought, "Oh, my God, it's the Red Cross people!
0:26:56 > 0:27:00"Try and not meet their eye. Sorry, mate, I've got to go. I can't stop."
0:27:02 > 0:27:05It brings us to the end of this QI IQ test,
0:27:05 > 0:27:10so hand in your papers and I'll tally up the scores and oh, my goodness me!
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Well, it's very exciting, actually.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Top of the class
0:27:15 > 0:27:17with four points
0:27:17 > 0:27:20is David Mitchell!
0:27:20 > 0:27:22APPLAUSE
0:27:24 > 0:27:28In second place with minus four is Phill Jupitus.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31APPLAUSE
0:27:34 > 0:27:37And in third place with minus eight is Jo Brand.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40APPLAUSE
0:27:42 > 0:27:46In clear last place with minus 16 is Alan Davies.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49APPLAUSE
0:27:51 > 0:27:53But...
0:27:53 > 0:27:58the clear, clear winner this week with an extraordinary 32 points
0:27:58 > 0:28:01is the magnificent Asimo!
0:28:01 > 0:28:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:12 > 0:28:18So it's good night from David, Phill, Jo, Alan and not forgetting Asimo and me.
0:28:18 > 0:28:24And I just want to share with you the cover story of a recent National Geographic magazine,
0:28:24 > 0:28:29which is about the recreation by archaeologists at Gobekli Tepe in Turkey.
0:28:29 > 0:28:35It's the oldest temple in the world. Some people think it's the oldest building in the world.
0:28:35 > 0:28:40It's 11,600 years old and what excites me is that it looks like this.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Does it remind you of anything?
0:28:42 > 0:28:45Good night. On that bombshell, good night.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48APPLAUSE
0:29:04 > 0:29:08Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd 2011
0:29:08 > 0:29:11Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk