0:00:31 > 0:00:35Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening,
0:00:35 > 0:00:37good evening, good evening, good evening.
0:00:37 > 0:00:42Hello. Happy Christmas and welcome to QI on ice.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46To keep us warm while Jack Frost is nibbling at our chestnuts,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48my stable is fairly heaving with red-nosed reindeer.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Ding-dong, it's Sean Lock.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Why, aye, the lad's in a manger. It's Ross Noble.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:00 > 0:01:04And bless my rissoles, it's that merry gentleman,
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Father Christmas himself, Brian Blessed.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08ENTHUSIASTIC CHEERING
0:01:15 > 0:01:18And as the old carol says, "Hither page and stand by me,
0:01:18 > 0:01:21"Yonder peasant, who is he?" It's Alan Davies!
0:01:21 > 0:01:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:28 > 0:01:32So let's hear your jingle bells. Sean goes...
0:01:32 > 0:01:34SLEIGH BELLS JANGLE
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Ross goes...
0:01:36 > 0:01:38BELLS CHIME
0:01:38 > 0:01:40How pleasant. Brian goes...
0:01:40 > 0:01:42CHURCH BELLS PEAL
0:01:45 > 0:01:47And Alan goes...
0:01:47 > 0:01:49PARTY HORN BLOWER SQUEAKS
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Thanks for putting us in a party mood.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Don't forget that this year,
0:01:54 > 0:02:00we are celebrating our ignorance with the Nobody Knows bonus.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02"NOBODY KNOWS" FANFARE
0:02:02 > 0:02:08Identify the one question tonight to which nobody knows the answer and you can get points galore.
0:02:08 > 0:02:13Can you do me a favour? Can you just put that there?
0:02:13 > 0:02:15It really is the Riddler!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17LAUGHTER
0:02:17 > 0:02:20He does look like the Riddler! Very good!
0:02:20 > 0:02:24Now Christmas, of course, is a time for relaxing and feasting,
0:02:24 > 0:02:25so answer me this.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Where do they take the most days off work
0:02:28 > 0:02:33and have the most expensive Big Macs in the world?
0:02:33 > 0:02:37Resolute in Canada, where the Eskimos, the Inuit,
0:02:37 > 0:02:41six months of the year it's dark there and they have great,
0:02:41 > 0:02:46big, bloody Big Macs and wonderful great big steaks and lots of sex.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- LAUGHTER - They've got to shag all the winter.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51That's true.
0:02:51 > 0:02:57That's like the best voiceover ever. "Bloody big Big Macs!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59"Shag the life out of you!"
0:02:59 > 0:03:03It's a good answer.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05This is a country themed to our series.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08- Iceland. - Iceland is the right answer.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11It's extraordinary how many days off they take.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Per thousand people, they take off 367 days in the year,
0:03:14 > 0:03:17compared to about 20-odd in Britain
0:03:17 > 0:03:19and one in Switzerland.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23- Probably minus seven in Germany. - Have they always got a cold?
0:03:23 > 0:03:27I think they just have that attitude to life.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- Because they're lazy. - Possibly.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35It's the access to all those delicious prawn rings.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36At such low, low prices.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40MEXICAN ACCENT: "I'm not going to work today."
0:03:42 > 0:03:45"I've got another one. "I'm not going to work today."
0:03:45 > 0:03:46"That's how we talk."
0:03:46 > 0:03:49MEXICAN ACCENT: "That is how we talk in Iceland."
0:03:49 > 0:03:54"It's very cold here! You want some more prawns, it's all frozen!"
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Their Big Mac is more than twice a Big Mac in Britain.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01It's so expensive that McDonald's has withdrawn from Iceland.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03It's a very odd country. Have you been, Brian?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I've not. It's one of the few countries I've not been too.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08It's full of firsts.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11It has more Nobel Prize winners per capita than any country on earth.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Do you know how many it's had?
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- 14.- No. - One.- Yes.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18One is the right answer but the population is so small,
0:04:18 > 0:04:23320,000, which is roughly the population of Croydon,
0:04:23 > 0:04:26that as a per capita average...
0:04:26 > 0:04:31There he is, Laxness. He won the 1955 Nobel Prize for Literature.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34He was the only one to win but because it's such a small population,
0:04:34 > 0:04:38it's four times more on average per capita than the United States.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42It shows how useless statistics are, really.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46It also uses three times more electricity than any other country on earth.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48But what's good about their electricity?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Geothermal activity.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54100% of it is from either hydro-electric or geothermal.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57In that sense, it's the cleanest electricity in the world.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Doesn't everybody live on the edge?
0:04:59 > 0:05:03Do you mean, like, "Let's take loads of drugs.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06"Let's drive our cars as fast as possible."
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- Literally live on the edge. - Live fast, die young.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13Living on the edge in Iceland is going out in just your pants.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15You don't have to drive a car, even.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18It's not wearing your thermals for a day.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22On the coast, I mean. I think pretty much everyone lives on the coast.
0:05:22 > 0:05:27It's also the world's youngest country. What do I mean by that?
0:05:27 > 0:05:31- It's volcanic, so it came up... - Geologically, it's the world's youngest country.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- It has the world's oldest... - Parliament?
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Yes! Yes, yes. 947AD and do you know what it is called?
0:05:37 > 0:05:39- The Yakult. - Do that voice again.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Is it "Ye Olde Parliament".
0:05:44 > 0:05:47"Shall we pass laws?" "No, we're living on the edge."
0:05:47 > 0:05:49"We don't need no laws."
0:05:49 > 0:05:52"We've got a prawn ring and all that."
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- What is a prawn ring? - You don't know?- No, I don't.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- It's prawns arranged in a ring. - Is it battered?
0:05:58 > 0:06:03It's a ring of prawns. WOMAN CACKLES
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Run around a bit, that's what the old comics used to say!
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- Run around a bit, will you? - I paid for two.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13There should be one over there.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18- So it's party food?- Yes.
0:06:18 > 0:06:23- I had you down as an Iceland man. - No, no. Sadly not.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27It comes in like a little plastic circle, circular cover.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31It's individual prawns in a layer?
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Imagine a show called One Man And His Prawn.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38He whistled and they all perfectly got themselves
0:06:38 > 0:06:41into a circular pen and they were photographed.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- That's what it looks like. - So they're all aligned.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48It's like when they get attacked, that is what they do, go into a circle to defend themselves.
0:06:48 > 0:06:53You want to get yourself a tiny sheepdog...
0:06:53 > 0:06:55HE WHISTLES Come by.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- You need a prawndog! - You need a prawndog.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00What's the aquatic equivalent of sheepdog?
0:07:00 > 0:07:02What are you talking about, Ross?
0:07:02 > 0:07:07You're talking absolute nonsense. Sheepdogs for prawns?
0:07:07 > 0:07:11You don't get a sheepdog, you get a prawndog for prawns!
0:07:13 > 0:07:17That is, one, why I keep losing that competition.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Two... - The prawns are all over the shop.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23And two, I've got prawns everywhere and I've been banned from Crufts.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27- It's out of order. Appalling. - Very good.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- Forget it. - Excellent. Right.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35The point is, Iceland is a world leader in surprising areas.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Here's something quite interesting.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Two points for anyone who can tell me this.
0:07:41 > 0:07:46In what way is Iceland's most recent volcano similar to Genghis Khan?
0:07:46 > 0:07:50I think they are both shag nasties.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Genghis Khan has apparently shagged everything that moves
0:07:55 > 0:07:59and he is the father and mother of all populations in Europe and Asia,
0:07:59 > 0:08:03so he shagged everything that moves.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06And the volcano, of course,
0:08:06 > 0:08:10has spurted out, had an orgasm of ammonia and has fertilised Europe.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Am I right?
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Damn good answer.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:19 > 0:08:22To be brutally honest, that's not what's on my card.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Oh, shit.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27If there was no such thing as science, you would be right.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32I think I know what it is. I think, obviously, that volcano stopped lots of transport.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37He must have stopped something happening which the volcano stopped happening.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41You are in the right area. The odd thing is it's beneficial, especially at the moment.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43It's a thing we talk about a lot.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47That volcano poured out, they reckon,
0:08:47 > 0:08:50between 150,000 and 300,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53A huge amount of carbon came out as a result of it,
0:08:53 > 0:09:00but if you remember, no-one flew for however long it was
0:09:00 > 0:09:03and the lack of flying saved three million tonnes.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07In fact, it was a huge offset of carbon
0:09:07 > 0:09:11and in the case of Ghengis Khan, he slaughtered his way across the world
0:09:11 > 0:09:14and had the largest empire the world has ever seen,
0:09:14 > 0:09:20four times that of Alexander, twice the size of the Roman Empire, and he killed about 40 million people.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24The result was there was so little farming that the forests grew back
0:09:24 > 0:09:28and you can time a huge benefit to the world from his slaughter.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- That's extraordinary, isn't it? - What do we have to pronounce?
0:09:31 > 0:09:33That's what I was...
0:09:33 > 0:09:36How did you know I was going to ask that as a supplementary question?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- I thought you already did. - Did I already say it?
0:09:39 > 0:09:41- Either that or I read it off the autocue.- You read it!
0:09:41 > 0:09:45You great big cheater!
0:09:45 > 0:09:46APPLAUSE
0:09:48 > 0:09:52- It's only there.- I'd now like you to pronounce the name of the volcano.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- It's written up there for you. - Oh, God alive!
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Eye-eye-yarpn-oy-ey-jurp prawn rings.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01You should have been a news reader.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03With your accent, you've got the best chance.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Ay-ach-jolla-jokull.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08It looks a bit like that, yeah. Any thoughts?
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Ee-jaff-yallie-jock-rull.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Brian, have a go.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17EE-YA-JAFF-JALLA-JOKULL!
0:10:18 > 0:10:20LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:20 > 0:10:23There's an Icelandic woman just gone...
0:10:23 > 0:10:25You may have set it off again, doing that.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31I think the umlaut changes it, doesn't it? Those little dots.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34I think actually the way you are supposed to pronounce it is "udj".
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- If only.- It changes it.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Apparently it's... EY-ya-fyat-lah-YOH-kuhtl.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Is that translated as "big smoky bastard"?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50"You will go by ferry".
0:10:50 > 0:10:53That's basically the answer.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56One of the oddest things about Iceland - I'll show you.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Have a look at this. These are Icelandic.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01What do you reckon they are?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- Legs.- Yes.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06If I were to tell you that those are empty, does that help?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Hollow legs.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Oh, are they Icelandic cock pants?
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Is it because, like, when you go out on the beach, everything shrinks,
0:11:17 > 0:11:21so you put them on and then it gives you a little bit of profile.
0:11:21 > 0:11:26Are they a pair of trousers? A pair of ski pants?
0:11:26 > 0:11:29They are a pair of trousers made of human skin.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34They are on display at the Icelandic Museum of Witchcraft,
0:11:34 > 0:11:38which is an extraordinary place because Icelandic witchcraft is pretty odd.
0:11:38 > 0:11:43What happens is you ask a friend when he dies, can you have his skin?
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Can I have your legs?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48If he gives you permission, you flay the skin below the waist,
0:11:48 > 0:11:52completely, in one piece, and you wear them as tights.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54It gets weirder.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56You then have to steal, from a widow, a coin
0:11:56 > 0:12:02and you put the coin inside the scrotal area, the sack,
0:12:02 > 0:12:05as you see, the whole thing is more or less complete,
0:12:05 > 0:12:07with a written incantation.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11- And then... - You open a bank.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14APPLAUSE
0:12:17 > 0:12:20And that's how the Icelandic economy works.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25They sort of do because then the scrotum apparently fills with money.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27That's the incantation.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30They are sort of necro pants. There is an official...
0:12:30 > 0:12:35Necro pants! That's the sort of thing you see advertised at three o'clock in the morning.
0:12:35 > 0:12:40- "Do you want necro pants?" - The Icelandic name is nabrok.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Now, I've got a little task for you to do. A Christmas party game.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48I've got these phone books here and they have been interleaved.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51There's no glue or anything. They are like a pack of cards.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- One page goes inside another. - That must have taken ages.- It did.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Our props people are very proud of their work.
0:12:57 > 0:12:58- There you are.- We'll share.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01What I want you to do, you've got ropes, there,
0:13:01 > 0:13:03is just pull them apart.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05You can take one each.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- Pull them apart. - It can't be done.- Go on.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13You can't, can you? You literally can't. It's quite extraordinary.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- Strong as Brian is. - Pull, Brian. Pull!
0:13:18 > 0:13:20LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Sean's alive!
0:13:31 > 0:13:33LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:37 > 0:13:40How come your water wasn't spilt? That's magical.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Yes, it's an old trick.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Me and Brian have been doing this trick for years.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50I was trying to sit on top of my tipped-up chair.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52A man as strong as Brian,
0:13:52 > 0:13:56he may be able to pull Sean off his chair but it can't be done.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00In fact, you need 8,000lbs of force in order to do it. It's bizarre.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03It's friction and it's just replicated each time. I know.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06If you loosen them...
0:14:07 > 0:14:09This time it's me!
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- It's personal. - Having a tantrum.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Still can't do it!
0:14:31 > 0:14:33AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:14:42 > 0:14:43Has anyone got a lighter?
0:14:43 > 0:14:47No. And you can stop reading the escort pages as well.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Very good eyesight from there!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I know my Alan!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55- Well, there you are. - WOMAN CACKLES
0:14:55 > 0:14:58The fact is, yes, surprising as it...
0:14:58 > 0:15:00LAUGHTER
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Nurse, she's out of bed again!
0:15:04 > 0:15:06From Iceland to Alaska.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11The Eskimo-Indian Olympics have been held every year since 1961.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Phone books are not involved, but these are.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16More toys for you to play with.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Voila. Voila.
0:15:18 > 0:15:22And I'm afraid you have to be prepared to get sticky.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26These lubed rods, here, which are very icky.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32He's been trying to get me to do this for years.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36Sorry, Stephen, but this contravenes my super injunction.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42APPLAUSE
0:15:44 > 0:15:47All you have to do is work out what the sports are
0:15:47 > 0:15:50in the World Eskimo-Indian Olympics, as they're now called.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- That's obviously... - You can play it with Brian.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56It's actually...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Each ones of these games is, like most games,
0:16:00 > 0:16:01to hone the skills you need
0:16:01 > 0:16:04for the environment in which you live.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Is this a two-person game?- It is. You each...- Is it fire?
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Leave the string for the moment and grab the stick and...
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- It's all right. - Is that what I think it is?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18No, you have to do it with your hands. No.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20That's it.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23It's the one who can, without twisting or jerking,
0:16:23 > 0:16:25the one who can get the stick off the other.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- Oh, Christ, I've got no chance! - LAUGHTER
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Woo-hoo!
0:16:34 > 0:16:36There you can see them doing it.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Well, have a go.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42This time... This time you're going on the floor.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47- There you go.- You're holding my hand there, Brian.- Sorry!
0:16:48 > 0:16:53- No twisting or jerking.- Hold on to one side.- My hands are too big.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56- Can you go...- Oh, look!
0:17:00 > 0:17:03LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Fabulous.
0:17:08 > 0:17:14- Fabulous. And we have a string game yet to play.- Oh, great(!)
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- Let me guess. We have to wrap round our balls and pull.- No, we don't.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20You do have to wrap it around an organ.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23That's it! Forget it!
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Fortunately, not an organ of generation.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29An auditory organ, one of your ears.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Each wraps it around the ear.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35You wrap the other end round your ear and you pull.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38With your ear! With your ear!
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Come on boys, be brave.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46- Is it round your ear? - It's a pain endurance test.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- I'll go round the other ear. - Look what's happened to his ear.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51I don't want that to happen to my ear!
0:17:51 > 0:17:54As you can see from the photograph,
0:17:54 > 0:17:57it's endurance and pain are really the...
0:17:57 > 0:17:59You've got glasses on.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Hello.
0:18:03 > 0:18:08- I've got quite springy ears.- Is that an advantage or disadvantage?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- It's a disadvantage, because they're very, very springy.- Wow!
0:18:11 > 0:18:16I declare the winner there Brian. Whose been winning on your side?
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- You've turned it into a plait. - I cheated, look. I've tied it.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24Definitely cheating.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28These are official sports of the Eskimo Olympics. It's a very fine part of the world,
0:18:28 > 0:18:32I don't know if you've ever been there? It's very beautiful.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- You've been there, I'm sure.- Yes. - Icy wastes.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38Now, in 1845, Sir John Franklin led an expedition to the Arctic
0:18:38 > 0:18:42to discover the Northwest Passage.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45A group of his men set off across the ice
0:18:45 > 0:18:50with a sled-load of button polish, handkerchiefs,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53curtain rods and a writing desk.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Why? What were they doing?
0:18:55 > 0:18:58BUGLE SOUND
0:18:58 > 0:18:59"Nobody knows."
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Yes! You are right!
0:19:01 > 0:19:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Well done.
0:19:06 > 0:19:11My assumption is that, sadly, none of them made it back.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15No, they didn't. It is one of the most disastrous expeditions in history.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18They were off on a sled-boot sale.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24It was 128 men who all perished in this expedition.
0:19:24 > 0:19:2935 different rescue parties tried over decades to find them, and find out what happened.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33It wasn't until the 1980s that it was discovered precisely what happened to them.
0:19:33 > 0:19:38Their bodies were well preserved in ice. Do you know what it was that they discovered?
0:19:38 > 0:19:42Laurence Llewelyn Bowen going, "Those curtains are terrible."
0:19:42 > 0:19:44It was discovered that their bodies
0:19:44 > 0:19:46were filled with toxic levels of lead,
0:19:46 > 0:19:49and they had gone on the expedition
0:19:49 > 0:19:54with some very early examples of canned food, and the solder that was used was lead-solder.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Lead poisoning, amongst other things,
0:19:56 > 0:20:00can make people have mass delusions, and so these poor people
0:20:00 > 0:20:03loaded the sled with button polish, and handkerchiefs,
0:20:03 > 0:20:06and a writing desk, and went off into the wasteland.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10I know it sounds funny, but it is awful, isn't it?
0:20:10 > 0:20:14I imagine they went to open a really disappointing shop. A pound shop on ice.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18We know from the archaeology of it that that is what they did,
0:20:18 > 0:20:21but as Alan rightly said, nobody knows why they did it,
0:20:21 > 0:20:24except that it was some sort of delusion that they must've had.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Now, where's the best place to look for the abominable snowman?
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- I think this is an area of your expertise.- Yeah, yeah, on your left.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34I'll start it all off for the lads. Yes, yes, yes.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Of course, you are looking at one.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40It is called Sasquatch, Bigfoot in Canada,
0:20:40 > 0:20:44and in Russia it is called the Almas Giant, or the Yeti,
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Sukpa, or Meh-Teh-Ma.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Then in China they have their own hairy men,
0:20:48 > 0:20:51and it is Sukpa, Meh-Teh-Ma out there as well, yeti.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55And then in Sumatra it is called Orang Pendek, or "upright man,"
0:20:55 > 0:20:57not meaning an orang-utan.
0:20:57 > 0:21:02There is no doubt at all that yetis obviously do exist.
0:21:02 > 0:21:07There are great parts of the world that we don't know about.
0:21:07 > 0:21:13When I was in Mongolia, the Mongols were telling me that in the late autumn you get migrations
0:21:13 > 0:21:18of dozens, and dozens, and dozens of Almas Giants,
0:21:18 > 0:21:20and they see them in the distance.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24So, I want to go out there one day, and go to northern Mongolia
0:21:24 > 0:21:27and just go... BELLOWING ROAR
0:21:27 > 0:21:30And I think that might scare them off.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Brilliant. Well, that's fantastic, thank you very much.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37APPLAUSE
0:21:37 > 0:21:40There are some who are disbelievers. You are a believer?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Yes, from the different people I meet, the trackers I meet,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46you have to remember that the large mountain gorilla
0:21:46 > 0:21:48was only discovered about 90 years ago.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52- Yes.- That's a giant mountain gorilla in Rwanda.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56There are so many more discoveries. We are discovering them all the time.
0:21:56 > 0:21:57There is so much to discover.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00So I think, I don't think we've scratched the surface yet.
0:22:00 > 0:22:05And there are indeed centres for the study of them. One in Siberia, and one in the Bhutanese area.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09- It has a Yeti Park, that's right. - It's a hell of a thought.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13Well, that is a brilliant answer, and completely correct, of course.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16And now, an icy chill strikes the cockles as we brave
0:22:16 > 0:22:18the frozen wastes of general ignorance.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22So, frostbitten fingers on your buzzers as we ask, quickly,
0:22:22 > 0:22:26- what are igloos usually made from? - CHURCH BELLS RINGING
0:22:28 > 0:22:29- Blue ice?- Oh!
0:22:29 > 0:22:32KLAXON SOUNDS
0:22:32 > 0:22:36No. You get a forfeit. They are not made of ice, at all.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40- They are made from glue. - Nice thought.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43- Is it an Apple glue.- iGlue?
0:22:43 > 0:22:44Very good.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Very good.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55They're usually made from Caribou hide.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58That is the usual igloo, very, very rare for them
0:22:58 > 0:23:01to made out of blocks of snow of the cartoonist's fame.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05There's your typical igloo, and there's your cliche igloo,
0:23:05 > 0:23:07which is very rare.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Now, what do you say to a husky, to make it go?
0:23:14 > 0:23:16I like that, that's a good shot of Brian.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- Most people think that you're supposed to say...- Mush?
0:23:21 > 0:23:24In fact, for years that hasn't been said.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Mush actually comes from the French "marche". Just meaning "go."
0:23:28 > 0:23:32I thought it was just cockneys, "Come on, mush.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34"Come on, dogs, all in, all in."
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- So there are trends in what huskies respond to?- Very much so.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40So the huskies, if you say "mush" now,
0:23:40 > 0:23:42they would go "Oh, that is so..."
0:23:42 > 0:23:45"That is so last year."
0:23:45 > 0:23:47You got to say, "Wicked," or "Sick."
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Well, possibly, possibly wicked or sick.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52They say "Hike-on" or "Hike."
0:23:52 > 0:23:56- The fact is, they're so keen to do it, aren't they?- Yes.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58They get fantastically excited and happy.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02It is one of the most exhilarating things you can do. It is fantastic.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06It is interesting, when I did go to Mongolia,
0:24:06 > 0:24:11in actual fact, the Mongols have mainly huskies and wolves.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13They don't have dogs.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16When I had a fire woman mending all the fires,
0:24:16 > 0:24:18she had a great big bloody wolf.
0:24:18 > 0:24:23It was in my tent, he slept with me, this wonderful wolf. It adored me.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I gave it Mars Bars, and things like that.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31She said, "He will climb with you, go climb."
0:24:31 > 0:24:35And I climbed 14,000 feet up this ridge, and I climbed it with a wolf.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38We came back down, got back into my tent.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42You have to understand, ladies and gentlemen, even at my age,
0:24:42 > 0:24:44in my 70s, I'm a randy bastard.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47I was missing my wife horribly.
0:24:47 > 0:24:53I took this great big bloody wolf, looked at its face, and I went,
0:24:53 > 0:24:56# Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme What I cry for
0:24:56 > 0:25:01# You know you got the kind of kisses that I'd die for
0:25:01 > 0:25:04# You know you made me love you. #
0:25:04 > 0:25:08MAKES MUSICAL SOUND AND HOWLS
0:25:08 > 0:25:10It absolutely adored me.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Right, you know earlier,
0:25:12 > 0:25:15you were saying you don't suffer from altitude sickness?
0:25:15 > 0:25:18I think you do.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21I think we've worked out,
0:25:21 > 0:25:24we know why Brian's huskies were going so fast.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27"Hike, hike!" "Quickly, boys, he's gaining on us."
0:25:29 > 0:25:30Dear God.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32The whole time they're pulling him,
0:25:32 > 0:25:38"He's still there! Come on. Bastard, he's fast""
0:25:38 > 0:25:43Well, they are extraordinary animals.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46A 73-strong team once pulled a 10-tonne truck.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- They are pretty impressive animals. - They are amazing.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53Finally, to round off this merry edition of QI,
0:25:53 > 0:25:58let's see if we can perform, between us, a Christmassy song.
0:25:58 > 0:26:03You've each got some bells. Now, this could be a disaster.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07Put on your hats, there's a darling.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11I don't mean to alarm you, but mine has a fuse.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17- Now, have you got one of these cards here?- It's really tight.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21You see those bells? Your bells are numbered,
0:26:21 > 0:26:25and you should have a card, and we're going to see if... That's it.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28- Tuning up. - Have you got your number's clear?
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Don't do that. Stephen's butler'll turn up.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36- I've got a baton.- You rang, sir?
0:26:36 > 0:26:39We're going to try and play a Christmassy tune. OK?
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Are you ready? Have you got your numbers?
0:26:41 > 0:26:45Can you see the numbers on your cards? One, two, three.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46- One. - DING
0:26:46 > 0:26:48- Four, four. - DING
0:26:48 > 0:26:49- Five. - DING
0:26:49 > 0:26:52- Four, three, two, two. - DINGING
0:26:52 > 0:26:56- Two, five, five, six. - DINGING
0:26:56 > 0:26:59- Five, four, three, one. - DINGING
0:26:59 > 0:27:02- One, six, six, seven. - DINGING
0:27:02 > 0:27:04- Six, five, four, two. - DINGING
0:27:04 > 0:27:06- One, one, two, five. - DINGING
0:27:06 > 0:27:10- Three, four. - DINGING
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Well done.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13APPLAUSE
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Brilliant.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18Staggering.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Such musicianship. Most impressive.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28And with that, we must look at the horrible cacophony of the scores.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32And it makes absolutely fascinating Christmas reading.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36I'm sorry to say that in last place, with minus eight, it's Sean Locke.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38APPLAUSE
0:27:40 > 0:27:45In third place, with a very credible minus three, it's Ross Noble.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47APPLAUSE
0:27:50 > 0:27:54Our first-timer, in second place, with minus two, Brian Blessed.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:58 > 0:28:02But, do my eyes deceive me? With plus nine,
0:28:02 > 0:28:05a runaway winner, Alan Davies!
0:28:05 > 0:28:06CHEERING
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Well, there you are.
0:28:13 > 0:28:17So all that's left me, is to thank Brian, Sean, Ross,
0:28:17 > 0:28:21and of course Alan, and to leave you with this comforting thought from RG Daniels -
0:28:21 > 0:28:24"The most delightful advantage of being bald
0:28:24 > 0:28:26"is that one can hear snowflakes."
0:28:26 > 0:28:29Good night, and a very merry Christmas!
0:28:41 > 0:28:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:43 > 0:28:47Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk