0:00:28 > 0:00:32APPLAUSE
0:00:33 > 0:00:38Goooooooood evening, good evening, good evening, good evening,
0:00:38 > 0:00:42and to a greater or lesser extent, good evening and welcome to QI,
0:00:42 > 0:00:46where tonight, my companions and I are plunging into the jungle.
0:00:46 > 0:00:51And helping me swing my machete are, the King of the Jungle, Greg Proops.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54APPLAUSE
0:00:55 > 0:01:00The King of the Swingers, Reginald D Hunter.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02APPLAUSE
0:01:02 > 0:01:06A jungle VIP, David O'Doherty.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08APPLAUSE
0:01:09 > 0:01:12And a bit of an animal, Alan Davies.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16APPLAUSE
0:01:19 > 0:01:23Well, before we begin, we ought to hear your beastly buzzers. Reginald goes...
0:01:23 > 0:01:26LION ROARS
0:01:26 > 0:01:27David goes...
0:01:27 > 0:01:29BIRD SCREECHES
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Greg goes...
0:01:32 > 0:01:34ELEPHANT TRUMPETS
0:01:34 > 0:01:35And Alan goes...
0:01:35 > 0:01:38CRICKET CHIRPS
0:01:38 > 0:01:41All creatures in the jungle are of equal value.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45So, first question. Where will the lion sleep tonight?
0:01:48 > 0:01:52Ah, no. Is this going to be a trick where they don't sleep in the night?
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Where they don't sleep in the jungle?
0:01:55 > 0:01:56You're right.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Man, I am nailing this game!
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Because of course there is a famous song.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03In the jungle the lion sleeps tonight.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04Wimoweh, wimoweh.
0:02:04 > 0:02:05By Tight Fit.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Well, by all kinds of people, actually.- But mainly Tight Fit.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13But what you managed to avoid was falling into the trap
0:02:13 > 0:02:16that lions sleep in the jungle, because where do lions live?
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Office buildings.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22I was going to say Luton. I don't know why.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Don't they live in like the veldt or something like that?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30The savannah. It's dry, it's certainly not jungle.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31You wouldn't get a lion there.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35And also, quite rightly, one of you said, they don't sleep at night.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Actually they do sleep a bit at night,
0:02:37 > 0:02:39but most of their waking hours are at night.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42They sleep a hell of a lot, because they're cats.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44And what do cats do?
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Sleep in the jungle, er, forest?
0:02:48 > 0:02:50They do a lot of sleeping.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51That's what I was going to say.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Yeah. They basically let big animals spend 23 hours a day
0:02:55 > 0:02:59eating grass and then they kill them and eat them all
0:02:59 > 0:03:01and get all that nutrient that lasts them for a week.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03So instead of eating vegetables,
0:03:03 > 0:03:05you eat something that does eat vegetables.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Exactly right. That's true.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10I feel better about my diet now.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Yeah, I'm glad about that.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16But the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight was the most popular song
0:03:16 > 0:03:19ever to come out of Africa.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22It was written by a man called Solomon Linda.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25He and the Evening Birds, as the band were called,
0:03:25 > 0:03:28recorded a song called Mbube, which is the Zulu word for lion.
0:03:28 > 0:03:34And they chanted, "Mbube, uyi Mbube" - lion, you're a lion.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38And he was paid the princely sum of £1.
0:03:38 > 0:03:44No more than that. In 1949, Pete Seeger gave it to the Weavers.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46They made a huge hit out of it.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48And then it just carried on being a hit,
0:03:48 > 0:03:49and all kinds of people, like Tight Fit.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Tight Fit!
0:03:51 > 0:03:53But, more importantly, perhaps...
0:03:53 > 0:03:57It's better than Loose Fit for a band, I suppose.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Disney, in 1994, incorporated it into...?
0:04:01 > 0:04:02The Lion King.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Into The Lion King. Now, it's estimated that if Solomon Linda...
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- I'll get points for that.- Will you?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - For knowing Lion King?
0:04:09 > 0:04:12If Solomon Linda had been paid standard composer royalties,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15he would have earned, just from the Broadway version...
0:04:15 > 0:04:17£2.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21- Just from the Broadway version alone...- £3.
0:04:21 > 0:04:235 million.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26- Oh!- Just in five years. That's just five years of it.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30I've got a question now. The pound that he earned, who paid him that?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Was it somebody British?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34No, someone South African, I fear.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38So what were them people doing with y'all money?
0:04:40 > 0:04:42It's a good and fair question.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44It's not the first time that musicians, artists, composers
0:04:44 > 0:04:48have been exploited, but it is a pretty extreme example of it.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51So just from the song being used in the Lion King, the musical
0:04:51 > 0:04:53on Broadway, he'd have made 5 million?
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Yes. That shows you how much Elton John makes.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58That's what I was going to say.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00No wonder Tim Rice is always grinning!
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of money in musicals.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05It is staggering, isn't it?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08But, fortunately, there was some good that came out it,
0:05:08 > 0:05:11because a South African journalist called Rian Malan
0:05:11 > 0:05:14brought the case to international notice
0:05:14 > 0:05:18and Solomon Linda's family sued and came to a settlement.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21So the heirs of Solomon Linda have at least benefitted from it.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Which is a good story.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24That's good, that's good.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Isn't it.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Nice to see that, you know, natives weren't exploited again, you know.
0:05:29 > 0:05:34That's a good story there, if I was, yeah, I would tell that story to...
0:05:34 > 0:05:35And yet we opened by saying
0:05:35 > 0:05:38that the whole thing was predicated on a black lie.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40- In the jungle, the mighty jungle. - Lions do not sleep in the jungle.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44It doesn't sleep at night, doesn't sleep in the jungle.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47He's lucky to get a £1 for it, if you ask me.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Anyway, so that's it.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53Now, what would be the best way for Tarzan to get around the jungle?
0:05:53 > 0:05:54Well...
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Without a family, I would guess.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Without being tied down.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Is that Johnny Weissmuller?
0:06:03 > 0:06:05That's Johnny Weissmuller, who made his name as a...
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- German Olympic swimmer. - Olympic swimmer, that's right.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- Is that Maureen O'Sullivan? - That's Maureen O'Sullivan.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Was the boy just called Boy?
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Boy, yes.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Yes, he was, the boy was called Boy and the chimpanzee was called?
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Cheetah.
0:06:19 > 0:06:20Cheetah, yes.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25- He gets around by swimming and swinging on... What does he swing on, Greg?- Vines.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26SIREN BLARES
0:06:26 > 0:06:28You trapped him!
0:06:36 > 0:06:40Oh, Alan! You wicked, wicked, that was diabolical!
0:06:40 > 0:06:41I feel really good tonight,
0:06:41 > 0:06:44I feel like I've finally nailed this game.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48I didn't know you were going to use your Jedi powers on me, Davies.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50I came in here with every good intention
0:06:50 > 0:06:53and the next thing I know, I'm providing answers to you.
0:06:53 > 0:06:58Tarzan, in the movies, does appear to swing on vines,
0:06:58 > 0:06:59or lianas, as they're called.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00But it's impossible to do so,
0:07:00 > 0:07:03because they grow from roots in the ground.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06So, if you tried to swing, you'd just fall straight down.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10You might get some that are twisted into the branches,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13but no animal or ape conveys themselves by swinging on woods.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14But what about when you see,
0:07:14 > 0:07:17you know, gibbons and whatnot, flinging through the jungle?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Ah, now that's a very different kind of action, which is brachiation.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Using their arms to move along.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25And gibbons do that and are excellent at it,
0:07:25 > 0:07:29and as you can see, There you are, yeah. That...
0:07:29 > 0:07:30CRICKETS CHIRP
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Orang-utan.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Four.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38You're in a competitive mood tonight.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40ELEPHANT TRUMPETS
0:07:40 > 0:07:43I'd like to say that Alan is Tarzan's chimp,
0:07:43 > 0:07:45because cheaters never prosper.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Hey, very good!
0:07:49 > 0:07:53But Edgar Rice Burroughs, who created Tarzan, of course, he said,
0:07:53 > 0:07:55"He leaps through the trees unaided."
0:07:55 > 0:07:57"He could drop 20 feet at a stretch from limb to limb
0:07:57 > 0:07:59"in rapid descent to the ground,
0:07:59 > 0:08:02"or he could gain the utmost pinnacle
0:08:02 > 0:08:05"of the loftiest tropical giant with ease and the swiftness of a squirrel."
0:08:05 > 0:08:10And also, why would it be a vine in the middle of the jungle?
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Because a vine is?
0:08:12 > 0:08:13Grapes grow on vines.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Exactly.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17But, you know, as in the manner of grapevines,
0:08:17 > 0:08:20now, as legend has it, Tarzan, the reason he used a vine
0:08:20 > 0:08:22was not because of its strength
0:08:22 > 0:08:25or, you know, the fact that it came up out of the ground,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27it was more so because early on,
0:08:27 > 0:08:30when he heard about his girlfriend cheating on him,
0:08:30 > 0:08:34it came, he heard it via one of those vines.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37A lot of people don't know that.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39I would say fewer than a handful really.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Was it his friend Marvin who told him that, by any chance?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46You know the story too!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49I know the story as well, there you go.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52That's why they let you host the show, you smart!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55And why is, if you've got a vine,
0:08:55 > 0:08:59why is wine based on the Latin for vine, when we have a vine,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02wine and vine, shouldn't they be, why isn't wine called vine?
0:09:02 > 0:09:06When I was taught Latin, we were taught to pronounce the V as a W.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08So it would be "weni, widi, wici,"
0:09:08 > 0:09:13I came, I saw, I conquered, is what Caesar said, or "Caesar" said, yeah.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Is Kaiser in German from Caesar, then?
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Caesar, yes it is. As is Tsar.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19See, you learn something every day.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21I'm not talking to you any more.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24The more you say vine, the less I'm going to say vine.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27But the Germans say Wein and spell it with a W.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29- Ah.- So why is it called a Caesar salad, then?
0:09:32 > 0:09:34It was invented by someone called Caesar.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36I've had a bottle of Caesar salad where it's on the label
0:09:36 > 0:09:38and the man who invented it is on the label.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- Points to Alan Davies.- Yes.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- It was, in fact, a cook called Caesar Cardini.- Yeah.
0:09:43 > 0:09:44Well done, Alan.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Well.- Damn, you're doing well. Yeah.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50APPLAUSE
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Wow, it's interesting that the two people who be on this show
0:09:53 > 0:09:55every week are doing the best. All right, there.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Yeah, you've got time to catch up, Reginald, don't you worry.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01I just hope for a chance, I want a chance.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04There are questions coming your way that will thrill you.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- All right, then.- OK, so, why don't ginger ants use soap?
0:10:08 > 0:10:12Cos they like to feel it when they get together.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Well, getting together is what it's all about.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19Ginger ants, also known as fire ants, live in the jungle.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22And in jungles you can get huge downpours that will suddenly cause
0:10:22 > 0:10:24gigantic rivers to appear where none were before.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27And what's to stop the ants drowning?
0:10:27 > 0:10:31What's their strategy to keep themselves afloat?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Find a bar of soap?
0:10:33 > 0:10:36No, the soap is the bad thing.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37That, they don't want that?
0:10:37 > 0:10:40They don't want the soap. Let's say no to soap.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42No soap. All right, then.
0:10:42 > 0:10:43I assume they'd climb a tree.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46If they could, they would, and we're going to see them climb a tree,
0:10:46 > 0:10:49but first they have to cross the water, if they're suddenly deluged.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Do they sail on little rafts?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53They make a raft of themselves.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54No!
0:10:54 > 0:10:57They cling together all their little bits, like this,
0:10:57 > 0:11:00and they make a raft like that, even carrying their eggs
0:11:00 > 0:11:01and their precious cargo.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03That's the fish underneath having a nibble at them,
0:11:03 > 0:11:04but they are, and there
0:11:04 > 0:11:06they're getting towards a tree.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07They try and climb that tree,
0:11:07 > 0:11:09because then they'll be safe.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10But it's a really smart strategy.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16There they go, he's got, the first one's up
0:11:16 > 0:11:18and then all the other ones are following.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Isn't that amazing?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- It is amazing.- And they all survive.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Even the ones on the bottom?
0:11:23 > 0:11:27Yeah. What happens is that none of the ants become submerged
0:11:27 > 0:11:32because of the plastron layer of air between their bodies and the water,
0:11:32 > 0:11:34and that's from piastroni, Italian for breastplate,
0:11:34 > 0:11:36which is rather pleasing.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39A turtle's underbelly is also called the plastron
0:11:39 > 0:11:43and so is a man's stiff, formal shirt-front.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45So you can actually have...
0:11:45 > 0:11:48LAUGHTER
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Yeah, that was a relief, wasn't it?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53You can actually have half a million fire ants connecting together
0:11:53 > 0:11:58in this way and they can assemble themselves in less than 100 seconds.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00And they can float for days, even weeks,
0:12:00 > 0:12:03and migrate immense distances.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Isn't that interesting?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07That's how I came over from Dublin this morning.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11But if you put a tiny drop of soap anywhere near it,
0:12:11 > 0:12:13the detergent would break the surface tension
0:12:13 > 0:12:15and they would drown.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17But I've got an interesting experiment,
0:12:17 > 0:12:19and I do love, as you know, to do an interesting experiment.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21He does love an experiment.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Now, these will represent red ants.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26And this is just, I just find this magical.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29And it's something you can do at home, ladies and gentlemen,
0:12:29 > 0:12:31this is what's fun about it. And...
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Will we form an island
0:12:32 > 0:12:35and swim across the jar of water?
0:12:35 > 0:12:36No. This is red coloured sand
0:12:36 > 0:12:37and this is floating on top.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41You'll notice wherever I drop it, it tends to start clinging together.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44So you've got, here's your little raft of red ants,
0:12:44 > 0:12:46there they are, in the water.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49And I can put my finger in it, like that,
0:12:49 > 0:12:52and my finger will come out completely dry.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Absolutely dry.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- That's bizarre.- Holy cow!
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Yeah, there you are, there you are.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59And I've got no sand on my finger at all. And it just, but...
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Are you a devil?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Watch this. This will excite you.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05I'm going to pour all this in here.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07- Blue ants are attacking red ants! - Goodness!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Yeah, all these blue ants here, it's just horrible.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12And look at that, it's all clustered down below.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13But this is the magic part.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17I get my spoon and I get, all this sand that's underwater now,
0:13:17 > 0:13:20and I just pick up a little bit of it, like so.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22And it's completely dry.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23- Hey!- It's utterly dry.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24Witchcraft!
0:13:24 > 0:13:26- Sorcery!- Burn him!
0:13:26 > 0:13:28It's completely dry. It is, look.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Witch!
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Sand, absolutely dry,
0:13:31 > 0:13:33even though there are drops of water next to it.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Isn't that magical?- That really is. - That's just sand and water?
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Well, I can tell you.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41It's the special nature of the sand. It's been, as it were, coated.
0:13:41 > 0:13:47And, without wishing to give away the name of a brand of spray
0:13:47 > 0:13:52that you are encouraged when you buy suede shoes to use
0:13:52 > 0:13:54to protect your suede shoes,
0:13:54 > 0:13:58that might be called something that rhymed with Gotch Scard.
0:13:59 > 0:14:04If you wanted to try this experiment at home,
0:14:04 > 0:14:07you would get a can of that Gotch Scard
0:14:07 > 0:14:09and spray the sand with it and you will
0:14:09 > 0:14:14be able to amaze your friends, if, but only if, you're as sad as I am.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17But there you are. Hooray!
0:14:17 > 0:14:19APPLAUSE
0:14:24 > 0:14:26The fun you can have with things.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Yes.
0:14:27 > 0:14:28It's nice, it's good.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29It is. Very fun.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Exactly.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35Well, anyway, what goes at 40 mph and smells of curry?
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Ah, no.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38- BIRD SCREECH - Yea?
0:14:38 > 0:14:39Usain Balti.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43APPLAUSE
0:14:44 > 0:14:46That's very good!
0:14:52 > 0:14:55I have to say that's impressive.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I have to give you points for that, it's just too good.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03I will give you this clue.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07An astonishing number of animals in the wild smell of other things.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10And there is an animal that smells of curry.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14And there's no reason for it to, because it doesn't live in India, it doesn't eat chillies.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16But 40 mph is pretty quick.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19That's the thing. It's the fastest of its species.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22And it's a signature species for a whole nation, a whole continent.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24The ostrich goes about 40 mph.
0:15:24 > 0:15:25It does, but this is not a bird.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- Kangaroo.- Yes.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29It's the western grey kangaroo.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33The fastest of all the kangaroos, and amazingly...
0:15:33 > 0:15:34It smells of curry?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37"Ah, Jesus, smells of a curry. Smell that, mate."
0:15:39 > 0:15:42That's just an Australian who's had a curry the night before,
0:15:42 > 0:15:43done a particularly stinky fart,
0:15:43 > 0:15:47and then tried to blame it on a passing kangaroo.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53"Oh, did you see that kangaroo go by there?
0:15:53 > 0:15:57"Jeez, what a stink! It's like a curry!"
0:15:57 > 0:16:01Anyway. Now, describe the world's most hideous lunch.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04There's a pretty rotten fruit you can get in Indonesia that stinks.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Well, the durian fruit you're thinking of?- Yes.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Yes. It's actually delicious, but.. - It smells like rotting flesh.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Yeah. This is actually an animal thing.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16It's just one of those cruel tricks of nature, you know,
0:16:16 > 0:16:20that certain species find ways of eating other species
0:16:20 > 0:16:22that are cunning and cruel.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24It's not going to be a burrowing parasite thing?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Well, it's sort of...
0:16:26 > 0:16:27In your Jap's eye.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Oh!
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Or in your eye, even.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Think of a little, innocent frog.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35A frog sees a larva, a little bug of some kind,
0:16:35 > 0:16:38it will dart its tongue out.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41There you go, there's the big frog and there's the little larva,
0:16:41 > 0:16:42and the frog's going to win.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45The frog's going to poke its tongue out and it's going to eat.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47- It's not that small a larva. - I agree.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49I mean, I still think that's quite an ambitious meal
0:16:49 > 0:16:50for that frog to take on.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52I agree. One of two things happens.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55One is the larva will simply attack the frog
0:16:55 > 0:16:57and latch itself with its quite strong horns,
0:16:57 > 0:16:59which you might just be able to discern in the picture...
0:16:59 > 0:17:01What I would do.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02- ..onto the back.- I would do that.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04And then just eat it from the inside out.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Yeah, that's exactly what I would do.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Until there's nothing left but a pile of bones.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10It would simply eat the whole thing.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Really? One larva?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Yeah. But if it so happens the frog is really quick
0:17:15 > 0:17:18and gets the larva into its stomach, it will then an hour later
0:17:18 > 0:17:23regurgitate it, and the larvae will still be alive and will then eat.
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Holy cow!
0:17:24 > 0:17:27So it will be eaten and then eat the thing that ate it,
0:17:27 > 0:17:30which is pretty unusual in the world of nature.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33So you can have your frog and eat it?
0:17:33 > 0:17:37You can, exactly. It's a pretty unpleasant process.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41It makes you wonder about all things bright and beautiful.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43But we have no footage. Do we have footage?
0:17:43 > 0:17:45We have footage, I'm afraid.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Oh, no! Don't eat that larva!
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Two hours later.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52- Oh!- I don't feel so good!
0:17:52 > 0:17:56Oh, having a vomit and out, it's pulling out of its own mouth
0:17:56 > 0:17:59the thing that is then going to eat it.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03It's just so, and there, oh, it's just being eaten,
0:18:03 > 0:18:05it's eating its chin.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07It's really not a nice relationship.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09And there they are. Poor frog.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Wait a minute, I didn't see the end, who won?
0:18:13 > 0:18:14It looked pretty intense,
0:18:14 > 0:18:17but it looked like it could go either way, really, you know what I mean.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20We were too tasteful to show you the outcome, it was horrible.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- Too tasteful? That's what's up. - They shake hands and then they say,
0:18:23 > 0:18:25"We've both learned a valuable lesson here."
0:18:25 > 0:18:28It's called the Epomis beetle larva.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31But while on the subject of frogs, what's this little frog doing?
0:18:31 > 0:18:33What's this chap up to?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Wow! It's practising first position?
0:18:38 > 0:18:41No. What's going on in the background?
0:18:41 > 0:18:44He's trying to build up his nerve into jumping in that gushing stream.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46And he's going, argh, I can do this!
0:18:46 > 0:18:47He's facing the other way.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Ah, I can do this.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Is he fishing? Is he catching things in his webbed...?
0:18:52 > 0:18:53No.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57I was thinking maybe there was a plane load of frogs trying to land.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01APPLAUSE
0:19:06 > 0:19:08But you know, air traffic controller frog.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12What is it about the background?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Running water. Water stream, I mean...
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Yeah, and what does that create?
0:19:17 > 0:19:20If you've got a waterfall behind you,
0:19:20 > 0:19:22how do you communicate with your neighbour?
0:19:22 > 0:19:23How do you shout?
0:19:23 > 0:19:24It's sign language?
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- Yes.- No!- It's semaphore.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27- Really?- Stop it!
0:19:27 > 0:19:31It's the semaphore frog, because it lives by waterfalls and cataracts,
0:19:31 > 0:19:33and so little...
0:19:33 > 0:19:34(IMITATES FROG)
0:19:34 > 0:19:35..won't get heard.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37So that's how it communicates.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Basically, it's saying to other males,
0:19:39 > 0:19:41"This is my territory, keep away."
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Or it's saying to girls, "Here I am."
0:19:43 > 0:19:45It is a wonderful sight.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48It's solved the problem of the fact that it can't vocalise,
0:19:48 > 0:19:50because it lives in a noisy environment.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54There are other ways of attracting mates which are unusual.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56CRICKETS CHIRP
0:19:56 > 0:19:57Yes?
0:19:57 > 0:19:59The internet.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01LAUGHTER
0:20:01 > 0:20:04If only you'd said what you often call the internet.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- What do you sometimes call the internet?- The interweb.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08- Yes.- Web, spiders.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Spiders, yes.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13Spiders make webs to catch prey so they can eat, survive and thrive.
0:20:13 > 0:20:18Yes. But there's a particular breed of spider, they ejaculate into a pad
0:20:18 > 0:20:21of webbing and transfer the sperm-laden pad to their "palps",
0:20:21 > 0:20:25which are like their antennae,
0:20:25 > 0:20:28and then they wave them around to attract the female.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31"I've got some sperm here. I've got some sperm for you."
0:20:33 > 0:20:35I used to do that, I used to do that to my ex-girlfriend, because...
0:20:38 > 0:20:41I mean...
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Why am I not surprised by the word "ex" in there?
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Yeah, I mean she just wanted to have a baby so bad,
0:20:45 > 0:20:47it was just really easy to get her excited like that.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48"I've got some sperm."
0:20:48 > 0:20:50And she'd come running and I'd be like,
0:20:50 > 0:20:52"I'm kidding, I'm kidding."
0:20:52 > 0:20:55You're probably each well out of it.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56Yeah, she's the better for it.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58I mean, in fact, I take pride in believing that I helped her
0:20:58 > 0:21:00prepare for the next cat that she...
0:21:00 > 0:21:04And think what you're saving on triple ply tissues. There you are.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Wow!
0:21:06 > 0:21:07Sorry.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10In some weird English way, I feel dealt with.
0:21:14 > 0:21:19By the way, the credit for the video tape of that extraordinary frog
0:21:19 > 0:21:21waving its hands belongs to the School of Environment
0:21:21 > 0:21:23of Life Sciences at the University of Salford.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Thank you, University of Salford.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Anyway, Alan, what I'd like you to do is press your buzzer.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- It's not a trap. - It's going to be a trap.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Yeah, press your buzzer.
0:21:36 > 0:21:37CRICKETS CHIRP
0:21:37 > 0:21:40What are those and how do they make that noise?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Now, this could be one of two things.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Right.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47There's the one that makes the noise by inflating its thorax,
0:21:47 > 0:21:51and the one that makes a noise by rubbing its back legs together...
0:21:51 > 0:21:54SIREN BLARES
0:21:55 > 0:21:58So I think it was the first one.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04There is actually no insect that makes a noise
0:22:04 > 0:22:06by rubbing its back legs together.
0:22:06 > 0:22:07Ah.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10But do you know what the animal was in fact you were listening to?
0:22:10 > 0:22:12- Cicada.- It's a cricket, in fact.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15It's been known for thousands of years that crickets
0:22:15 > 0:22:17don't chirp by rubbing their legs together.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18So where did that come from then?
0:22:18 > 0:22:21It's just one of those weird fallacies that people cling to,
0:22:21 > 0:22:24and I've clung to fallacies, and it's, it's a...
0:22:24 > 0:22:26LAUGHTER
0:22:26 > 0:22:29He did say weird phallus, didn't he?
0:22:29 > 0:22:31This, this is all, this is...
0:22:31 > 0:22:33He said it's a weird phallus that people cling to.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35He said that, didn't he?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- He said, he said fallacies.- Oh.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38That means many phalluses.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Yeah, thank you.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Rubbing body... Oh, God, it's getting worse, sorry.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Rubbing body parts to make sound is called stridulation.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51And crickets have a large vein along the bottom of each wing,
0:22:51 > 0:22:54covered with comb-like teeth.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58The chirp comes from the scraping on the top of one wing
0:22:58 > 0:23:00over the bottom of the other. Nothing to do with legs at all.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- So it's the wings, not their legs. - It's the wings, not their legs.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05And only male crickets chirp, the females don't.
0:23:05 > 0:23:10Four songs, one to attract a female, two to court a nearby female,
0:23:10 > 0:23:12three to warn off another male,
0:23:12 > 0:23:16and four to celebrate a successful mating session.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Really?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Or, four to say to the female, why don't you say something?!
0:23:22 > 0:23:23Yes, quite.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26So, basically, it's like they're high-fiving themselves.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27- Yes, they are.- After their, wooo!
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Yes, success!
0:23:29 > 0:23:32I would just order pizza.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35That's what we tend to do, but they just high-five themselves,
0:23:35 > 0:23:37as you say. But this, listen to this,
0:23:37 > 0:23:40this is the most extraordinary cricket of all.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42It's the snowy tree cricket.
0:23:42 > 0:23:47And if you count the times, because they're very susceptible
0:23:47 > 0:23:52to temperature, if you count the times they chirp in 14 seconds
0:23:52 > 0:23:57and add 40, you will get the temperature in Fahrenheit.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59No way, shut up!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Yes way, absolute way.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04I know it sounds mad, it's from the 1897 masterpiece by Amos Dolbear,
0:24:04 > 0:24:07"The Cricket as a Thermometer".
0:24:10 > 0:24:12But it is extraordinary, isn't it?
0:24:12 > 0:24:16I'd still prefer a thermometer up my bum if I was in hospital than a...
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Amazing, isn't it?
0:24:24 > 0:24:25Dolbear's Law. Now you know.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Anyway, what lives underwater
0:24:28 > 0:24:32and is the loudest animal in the world for its size?
0:24:32 > 0:24:33- ELEPHANT TRUMPETS - Greg Proops?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Oprah.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Good answer, but untrue.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- Is it going to be a blue whale? - SIRENS BLARE
0:24:42 > 0:24:46Oh, Alan, you and your blue, you were doing so well.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48No, it's the largest in relation to its size,
0:24:48 > 0:24:51the noise it makes is quiet astounding.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54When I tell you that its size is two millimetres,
0:24:54 > 0:24:58and it creates a sound of over 99 decibels,
0:24:58 > 0:25:02which is like a freight train passing by.
0:25:02 > 0:25:03It's an incredibly loud noise,
0:25:03 > 0:25:05and it's a little lake creature, actually.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09Do you know those things that seem to walk on water, do you remember what they're called?
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Our Lord?
0:25:15 > 0:25:19APPLAUSE
0:25:19 > 0:25:23You could call this the Jesus insect if you wanted. It's a water boatman.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25The water boatman is a beautiful little creature
0:25:25 > 0:25:28and it uses the surface tension of the water, there you see,
0:25:28 > 0:25:30to walk along the water.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32That's a pond skater, of course.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36So, unlike a blue whale in almost every respect.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40It really is. The noise it gives out is like a passing freight train.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43We have a theory how they produce it, and we'd like you
0:25:43 > 0:25:45to try out our theory.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48They use their penises against their tummies.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Penii?
0:25:50 > 0:25:51Penii, if you like.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Penises if you wanted to speak in English, but...
0:25:55 > 0:25:57But by all means penii, if you like.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00They rub their penises on their tummy
0:26:00 > 0:26:03and somehow create a noise of 99.2 decibels.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06- But that's just a theory though, right?- Yeah.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Because I put my penis against my belly, it don't make no noise.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11If you really whack it though, if you...
0:26:11 > 0:26:14(MIMES WHIP NOISE)
0:26:14 > 0:26:15Steady, steady.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17It depends on if I have to get up in a hurry.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Like, if I got an hour or so...
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Imagine that it's a penis, all right.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26If you'd pass that to Greg.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30You know, imagining is not helping, but all right.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Obviously there's yours, Alan.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35No.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38APPLAUSE
0:26:38 > 0:26:39You can have a normal one.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Now this is quite complicated,
0:26:41 > 0:26:44but you should have a little bowl of rosin,
0:26:44 > 0:26:47as in the kind of stuff that ballet dancers use
0:26:47 > 0:26:50to keep their shoes from sliding on the stage
0:26:50 > 0:26:52and string players use for their bows. Ordinary rosin.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56Oh, very good. Listen to that noise. Keep doing that.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAK
0:27:00 > 0:27:04You're rubbing, you're trying to, it gets surprisingly loud,
0:27:04 > 0:27:05doesn't it?
0:27:05 > 0:27:09HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAK
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Oh, God, yes!
0:27:13 > 0:27:17I don't seem to be attracting any boatmen or women.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21I'm not getting 99 decibels.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23There, you see that?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25This is still louder, though.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33- Is that yours? - But isn't that surprising?
0:27:33 > 0:27:34Wow!
0:27:34 > 0:27:36SQUEAKING INCREASES
0:27:36 > 0:27:38- Yeah.- Aaah!
0:27:38 > 0:27:39Aaaaaah!
0:27:39 > 0:27:43It's like Mars attacks and our brains will explode.
0:27:45 > 0:27:46Solo!
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Alan's very good at it, isn't he?
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Have you given him a wand? Is that a wand?
0:27:51 > 0:27:54APPLAUSE
0:27:57 > 0:28:00So, the water boatman makes a big noise
0:28:00 > 0:28:02with its mighty, stridulating penis.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Anyway, it's time for the final scores.
0:28:05 > 0:28:10I'm sorry to say, that in last place with minus 10 is Alan Davies.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13APPLAUSE
0:28:13 > 0:28:16How did I get minus 10?
0:28:16 > 0:28:18And just behind, with minus eight, is Greg Proops.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21APPLAUSE
0:28:23 > 0:28:26Then, with minus six, is David O'Doherty.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28APPLAUSE
0:28:30 > 0:28:35With one plus point, Reginald D Hunter.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38APPLAUSE
0:28:38 > 0:28:40Well done.
0:28:45 > 0:28:50Well, that's all from David, Reginald, Greg, Alan and me.
0:28:50 > 0:28:54Remember, snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Unfortunately, this is not true of mosquitoes,
0:28:56 > 0:28:58spiders, bears or tigers.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01But don't have nightmares. Goodnight.
0:29:23 > 0:29:26Subtitles by Red Bee Media