0:00:28 > 0:00:31APPLAUSE
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Goooooood evening, good evening.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening,
0:00:36 > 0:00:40and welcome to QI and to an evening of Levity.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44Let's see who's got the "light" stuff.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46The light-fantastic, Sue Perkins!
0:00:46 > 0:00:50APPLAUSE
0:00:50 > 0:00:52The light-footed, Josh Widdicombe.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55CHEERING
0:00:55 > 0:00:58The lightly-armed Frank Skinner.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01CHEERING
0:01:01 > 0:01:05And the lights on but nobody's home, Alan Davies.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08APPLAUSE
0:01:10 > 0:01:12So, light up your lamps,
0:01:12 > 0:01:16and the Latin L, which is of course 50 in Roman numerals, if you can
0:01:16 > 0:01:20tell me what they have in common,
0:01:20 > 0:01:22all these little buzzer noises.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Sue goes...
0:01:23 > 0:01:25OWL HOOTS
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Josh goes...
0:01:27 > 0:01:29BEARD CLIPPERS
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Frank goes...
0:01:32 > 0:01:34CLOTH RIPPING
0:01:34 > 0:01:35And Alan goes...
0:01:35 > 0:01:38PIG SQUEALING
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Any thoughts?
0:01:40 > 0:01:44They're all noises made by Jeremy Clarkson during the intimate act.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47LAUGHTER
0:01:47 > 0:01:51We've kept you two apart whenever we've done a show, for good reasons.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Yeah. Yeah, so you've got an owl.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58He howls like an owl. "He squeal like a pig."
0:02:01 > 0:02:04And it definitely, definitely ends...
0:02:04 > 0:02:07RIPPING
0:02:09 > 0:02:11That's the final rip to the trouser.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13APPLAUSE
0:02:13 > 0:02:15It's hard not to say that you've probably...
0:02:15 > 0:02:17That's when Richard Hammond pops out.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Oh!- Oh! I must say!
0:02:20 > 0:02:23That's the final rip of stonewashed denim, isn't it, that noise?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Would it help if I said it was L for law.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28- Law with a W, not an ORE.- No.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Jewish law, which was known as, for eating?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33For... Kosher.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37- Kosher, yes. And I said levity was our theme, levit...- Leviticus.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Leviticus. Leviticus! - Oh! So shellfish and...
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- Well, we didn't hear any shellfish, did we?- No, we didn't.- No.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- Unless, I wasn't sure about Josh's. - But we heard an owl.- Yeah.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49A beard being shaved, the rending of cloth and a pig.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Ah, and a pig. So they're all things prohibited by...
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- Anything to do with a pig is forbidden.- Brian Blessed!
0:02:55 > 0:03:00- IMPERSONATES:- No, Brian Blessed is not kosher, no.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04No! Oh, dear, dear.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08So that's what they have in common. All your buzzers are forbidden by Jewish law.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11- That's very awkward, because I'm Jewish, so...- Also...
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- I can't take part in this for the rest of the show.- No.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- No, I understand.- Also, if I were to go round and
0:03:16 > 0:03:18say Josh can have sex with you,
0:03:18 > 0:03:22- just on the top of my head, that would also be... - Sex on the top of your head?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- On the top of his head?- That's not the bit I had an issue with. No.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- That would be an over-protected thing.- I've never heard of kosher sex.
0:03:28 > 0:03:33- That would be an abomination, according to Leviticus. - It would indeed, Stephen.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36So, they're all things forbidden in the Book of Leviticus - you mustn't
0:03:36 > 0:03:38eat an owl, trim your beard,
0:03:38 > 0:03:40tear your clothes or have anything to do with a pig. Sorry.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43No, what does it mean "nothing to do with it"?
0:03:43 > 0:03:46What if he comes up to you, you just have to go...
0:03:46 > 0:03:48You have to shun him, Josh.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- Blank him.- Blank him. I know... Sorry mate, not interested!
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- I just blanked him.- Snub. - Like a mugger in the street.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57- Snub that pig.- Pretend you're on your phone, sorry.- Yeah, blank him.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Now, one of our questions tonight is likely lavatorial.
0:04:00 > 0:04:05See if you can flush it out by going for a Spend A Penny bonus.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11All you have to do is brandish your baton and buzz your buzzer.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13And there are lots of points for it, lots.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17It's really worth risking that the answer might be something
0:04:17 > 0:04:19lavatorial.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23But first here's a lark. You each have a balloon, as I do.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27And what I want you to do is, oooh, is a levitation trick.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29It's all to do with static electricity,
0:04:29 > 0:04:31as you might have guessed.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Well, the idea is to... Oh, that's already, whoa, that's...
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Oh, oh, no, that doesn't. Oh no!
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Yes! Yes!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Wow!- Yes, oh!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Alan got it.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53You charge up the plastic and the balloon,
0:04:53 > 0:04:55but you have to charge both of them.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Well, yes, you can use your hair.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59If anybody's hair can do this, it's Alan's.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01I take that as a slight.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02I can't get it off now.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06I know, that's as well, as it sticks to your fingers, you have to just...
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- Oh, and now, oh, not quite. - Yes! Yes!
0:05:09 > 0:05:10Oh, brilliant!
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Aargh!
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Patrick McGoohan in The Prisoner there, very good.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20It's that sort of fatal thing they get in Star Trek
0:05:20 > 0:05:21when they didn't have any money.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Ooh, put some music on, and they go, "Arrgh!"
0:05:28 > 0:05:29Someone in a red top.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32The fact is, yes, scientifically, you should be able to do it
0:05:32 > 0:05:35repeatably and predictably, but it's quite hard.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38But I promise you this, I will show you, before this evening is
0:05:38 > 0:05:41over, a levitation effect that will blow your socks off.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Not literally, but will really impress you.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44That's going to come.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Meanwhile, what's the funny thing about lightning?
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- Oh.- The funny thing about it?
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Well, given that it is a natural phenomenon that mankind
0:05:53 > 0:05:56has been aware of for all the time that we've been on the planet.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- It makes you laugh.- We're still captivated, freaked-out and surprised by it...
0:05:59 > 0:06:03- We're captivated, and surprised and don't understand it.- Oh!
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- No.- We can't explain it. - We know a little bit about it.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Oh, we do...- We know that thunderbolt and lightning
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- is very, very frightening. - Very, very frightening!
0:06:13 > 0:06:15- It's white, it's forked.- Yes. - Or sheet.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- It's electric. - Or sheet you say? No, not or sheet.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Sheet lightning is the same as forked lightning, it's just hidden by a cloud.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Oh, so it's an illuminated cloud that gives that band of...
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- Yeah, it's just basically... Exactly.- OK.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29But one of the myths about it is that it will always strike
0:06:29 > 0:06:30what part of a building?
0:06:30 > 0:06:33- Highest.- The highest point, and that's not true.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35We've got a photograph to show you how untrue that is, of it
0:06:35 > 0:06:38hitting Grant's Tomb there. There's a branch of it hitting the top,
0:06:38 > 0:06:42but the huge part of the fork there is hitting two thirds of the way up.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Half of lightning goes up from the ground,
0:06:44 > 0:06:46and at about 300 feet up they meet each other.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- I know, it's weird. Yes, so... - What? Lightning goes upwards?
0:06:49 > 0:06:50- Oh yes, absolutely.- Wrong.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52No!
0:06:53 > 0:06:5590% of strikes on the Empire State Building,
0:06:55 > 0:06:58for example, are ascending strikes, rather than descending strikes.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01I know it seems astonishing, but photography allows us to see
0:07:01 > 0:07:04this phenomenon of it coming up from the ground
0:07:04 > 0:07:07and meeting with the sky forks, as it were.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- Wow.- "Sky Fawkes".- "Sky Fawkes". - Weird.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13My dad used to, whenever there was lightning, we had to open
0:07:13 > 0:07:17the knife drawer and put a tea towel over the knives and forks, to
0:07:17 > 0:07:21avoid it coming through the window and striking, and turn the TV off.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23It's the only time the TV was ever turned off,
0:07:23 > 0:07:25it was quite a big thing.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28The drawer is closed, is that not doing it?
0:07:28 > 0:07:31He'd open the drawer to cover it with the tea towel. No, there's something about the tea towel.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Individually cover?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35You know tea towels have got that earthing quality.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Josh: Did you not have anything else that was metal?
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- Just the knives and forks.- The taps.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43No, I think that's all we had. That was it.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46And can I say we had no piercings in our family.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49From lightning to lighthouses.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51What is the most famous lighthouse in the world?
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Oh, I don't know, the one on the Needles is quite famous.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56The Needles is quite famous, yes.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57I mean there was one that was the...
0:07:57 > 0:07:59One of the Seven Wonders of the World.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03Oh, which is in Spain, is it not? Or, is that Hercules's Tower or something, there's a...
0:08:03 > 0:08:05It's something Hercules.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09Faros, Faros, it's the Alexandrian lighthouse.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12I love the way you looked at me as though I got that right,
0:08:12 > 0:08:15whilst telling me that every aspect of it was wrong.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- You were, you know...- I loved that, it made me feel good about myself.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22- You were wrestling the puppy knowledge with great affection. - Yeah.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Actually all those lighthouses, the Eddystone, the Kenilworth,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27might be known by quite a section of the population,
0:08:27 > 0:08:30but this one, everyone knows the name of this one.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33What they probably don't know is that it was originally a lighthouse.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36- Empire State Building. - Not the Empire State Building.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Statue of Liberty.- Yes! The Statue of Liberty, well done.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- Oh, of course. - Absolutely right. There it is.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43It was visible from 24 miles out to sea,
0:08:43 > 0:08:45it was a gift to America from...?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47France.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50From the French, yes. And originally what colour was it?
0:08:50 > 0:08:53- Orange.- Was it?
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Not red and white like, oh, like that!
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Well it was always intended to go green, because it's copper colour.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- That's the gayest lighthouse I've ever seen.- It's copper colour.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05You're absolutely right, Alan, it has a thin sheet of copper leaf, as it were, over it.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- So it can go that... - Originally it shone copperly, but like all copper does...
0:09:09 > 0:09:11- Oxidizes.- Yeah.- Gets verdigris.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14And so you get copper carbonate and verdigris is the name for it, exactly.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18You see those domes and things, that green colour that is Lady Liberty.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Anyway, the Statue of Liberty used to be a lighthouse
0:09:21 > 0:09:23and in those days it was brown.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Now for some light relief.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28What's the most interesting thing you can do with a sausage?
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Well, she's used hers for a hair piece.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35- She's coiled that round. - A lovely little... Yeah.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- What's the most interesting thing? - It's got to be something to do...
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- With the loo.- It's got to be.- Yes.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43I'm going to give you the points, because there is a way,
0:09:43 > 0:09:46which is very lavatorial, in which you can improve a sausage,
0:09:46 > 0:09:49which is quite interesting and very surprising.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50What, poo in it?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52- Yes.- Oh...- Come on!- Really?
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Baby faeces in a sausage will improve a sausage. Now...
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Oh no, and I've been throwing them away!
0:09:59 > 0:10:03- Bear with me here.- You need to get some casings and eat that.- Yeah.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Bear with me here.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08According to a study in the journal Meat Science -
0:10:08 > 0:10:10M-E-A-T Science -
0:10:10 > 0:10:14you make sausages healthier by adding bacteria
0:10:14 > 0:10:16extracted from babies' faeces.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Now, the point is, many sausages, pepperoni...
0:10:19 > 0:10:22What are they doing in laboratories, for God's sake?!
0:10:22 > 0:10:25What they try and do is improve things for us to make us healthy.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29And pepperoni and salami are made with bacterial fermentation.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32And the best way you can do that is to use what are known as
0:10:32 > 0:10:35pro-biotic bacteria, ie, bacteria that are said to be good for you.
0:10:35 > 0:10:40And, oddly enough, this Catalonian team
0:10:40 > 0:10:43decided that one of the best types would be baby faeces,
0:10:43 > 0:10:45because, by definition, they would have
0:10:45 > 0:10:47passed through the human system and passed out again,
0:10:47 > 0:10:49and because baby faeces are easy to obtain -
0:10:49 > 0:10:51in fact the study used nappies
0:10:51 > 0:10:53provided by mother and baby support groups.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54Still don't make it right.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Professional tasters confirmed that sausages tasted the same...
0:10:57 > 0:11:00- Oh!- Who does that for a living?!
0:11:00 > 0:11:01- I know. - Did they know what they...?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03They tasted the same, you wouldn't notice.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05That's a rough day down the job centre, that is.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08They are lower in both fat and salt and therefore healthier.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10But it's poo, Stephen!
0:11:10 > 0:11:12It's literally poo!
0:11:12 > 0:11:15It gives a new meaning to potty mouth, doesn't it?
0:11:15 > 0:11:18But it does mean that Alan gets his Spend a Penny bonus,
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- which is very good news. - Shut the front door.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23APPLAUSE
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Though, in fact, that was a supplementary question,
0:11:27 > 0:11:29because the original question
0:11:29 > 0:11:31involved the use of sausages in history.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Sausages such that a country, where we showed you a photograph
0:11:34 > 0:11:37that shows a country that is really fond of sausages...
0:11:37 > 0:11:39- Germany?- Yes.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42It's so useful with the sausages, for Germany, at a particular
0:11:42 > 0:11:44time in history, that people were banned from eating them
0:11:44 > 0:11:47and they were banned in Poland, in Austria,
0:11:47 > 0:11:49in northern France, and...
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Were they using them as part of the war effort?
0:11:51 > 0:11:52Yes, World War I.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56The Germans had a very impressive weapon, which terrorised London.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57GERMAN ACCENT: The Bratwurst lasso.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Which can take a human head off at 100 paces.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02- The Zeppelin. - The Zeppelin, is exactly right.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06The Graf Zeppelin, the Count Zeppelin invented this dirigible.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Are you saying that's one enormous sausage?
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Well...
0:12:09 > 0:12:12They flew and they dropped baby excrement over London.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14What made it lighter than air?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- Helium.- Helium.
0:12:16 > 0:12:17- Not helium, no.- Hydrogen.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Hydrogen, that's why they were so dangerous,
0:12:19 > 0:12:22because hydrogen is very combustible.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23And they would go over London
0:12:23 > 0:12:25and the chappy at the bottom in the little gondola
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- would drop a bomb... - You make it sound really lovely.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30"The little chappy would go over London..."
0:12:30 > 0:12:32But the thing is, the hydrogen would easily leak from the patches,
0:12:32 > 0:12:35and they found that sausage skins would go over the joins,
0:12:35 > 0:12:39and they would latch onto each other, a bit like Velcro,
0:12:39 > 0:12:41they would stick to each other and they'd seal the whole thing
0:12:41 > 0:12:43so the hydrogen wouldn't leak. Well, now...
0:12:43 > 0:12:45God, more bad news for pigs!
0:12:45 > 0:12:47LAUGHTER
0:12:47 > 0:12:50It was cattle rather than pigs, it was beef sausages.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54So they would just fly like an apocalyptic cow balloon
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- over the top of London and just drop...- Yeah.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59And bullets would go through and they wouldn't be enough
0:12:59 > 0:13:02to bring it down, and it took two years for the British to learn
0:13:02 > 0:13:06how to use incendiary bullets to cause the hydrogen to blow up.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Were they ever struck by lightning?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Yes, three Zeppelins were downed by lightning.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- Yeah, how about that? - That's brilliant.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16It shows that God was on our side.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21A quarter of a million cows they used, per Zeppelin -
0:13:21 > 0:13:22that's pretty impressive.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25So a quarter of a million cows went into the making of a Zeppelin?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Per Zeppelin, yeah. Which is why they had to
0:13:27 > 0:13:29stop the Germans, the Austrians, the Poles
0:13:29 > 0:13:31and those in Northern France at the time
0:13:31 > 0:13:32from getting their sausages.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35What a shame they didn't do a big cow's face on the front of it.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Oh, that would have been brilliant, wouldn't it?
0:13:37 > 0:13:40They just don't have those artistic flourishes, the Germans, do they?
0:13:40 > 0:13:44- Everything's very functional.- That was my problem with the Nazis(!)
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Well, there we are, the linings in German airships
0:13:48 > 0:13:50caused a sausage shortage in World War I.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54What was the charge for the world's first charity single?
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Oh, it's not going to be Band Aid, is it?
0:13:57 > 0:13:59- Is the clue in charge? - Yes, it certainly is.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01The Charge of the Light Brigade?
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Well done, you.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07Absolutely. So that's the beginning of the puzzle opened up.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08So, how can the Charge of the Light Brigade
0:14:08 > 0:14:11have anything to do with a charity single?
0:14:11 > 0:14:14You can't really release... They didn't release a single.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Well, not a single, as it wasn't called a single in those days.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20Tennyson, there are cylinder recordings of Alfred Lord Tennyson.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Indeed. Yeah.- So maybe he read
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- the Charge of the Light Brigade onto cylinder.- He may have done.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29His voice, "I am Alfred Tennyson," you do hear that, absolutely.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32He did live into the age of the phonograph, as it was then called.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34But this is actually slightly more touching, in a way.
0:14:34 > 0:14:39There was actually a bugler who recorded the Charge,
0:14:39 > 0:14:41which is a particular call on the bugle,
0:14:41 > 0:14:47and he was himself a survivor of the Charge of the Light Brigade,
0:14:47 > 0:14:49and I'll give you all the full details of it.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52He plays the charge that he blew on the day,
0:14:52 > 0:14:54on a bugle that was used at Balaclava,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57which had also previously been used at Waterloo.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- It's a heck of a historic bugle. - That's a pedigree, yeah.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01It was recorded as a charity single to raise money
0:15:01 > 0:15:04for veterans of the Charge who had fallen on hard times.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05And we can play it...
0:15:05 > 0:15:09That's the last thing they want to hear, though, isn't it?
0:15:09 > 0:15:11- They'd be terrified. - Oh, my God!
0:15:12 > 0:15:14But we can hear it now.
0:15:14 > 0:15:20SCRATCHY RECORDING OF BUGLE PLAYING
0:15:26 > 0:15:27There you are.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29That was Martin Landfried, who was a bugler
0:15:29 > 0:15:34and he made that recording in 1890, and the Light Brigade was 1854.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35Incredible quality.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37It's not bad quality, really, is it?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39And that was to help all veterans?
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Or just specifically veterans of that particular failed...?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- Specifically the veterans of the Charge, yeah.- Yeah.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46So, bugler Martin Landfried lifted
0:15:46 > 0:15:48the spirits of the Light Brigade at Balaclava.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52How did Chicago get completely screwed up?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54They put Catherine Zeta-Jones in it.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:56 > 0:15:59You are a naughty girl.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- I love that film, it's brilliant. - Didn't she get an Oscar?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- Yeah, she won an Oscar. - I'm joking, she was really good.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07- I liked it. - It was a cheap shot.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09The sort of Bob Fosse-style choreography.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11- They boarded it up with screws. - Sort of.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12- Is it literally screwed up? - It was.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- Is it to do with prohibition? - Because it's the windy city?
0:16:15 > 0:16:16Not because it's windy, no.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Or Barack Obama. It's always prohibition or Barack Obama.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- No, it was before either. - Valentine's Day massacre.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24It's always Prohibition or Barack Obama or Valentine's Day massacre.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Before any of those things. - So it's, what, Victorian?
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Literally the founding of Chicago.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31It was a huge stop off on Lake...?
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Michigan.
0:16:33 > 0:16:34Michigan, Lake Michigan.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36And, unfortunately, it was built on a swamp,
0:16:36 > 0:16:41and typhus and typhoid were absolutely ravaging the population.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44So they decided, with good old American know-how
0:16:44 > 0:16:47and sort of optimism, they would jack the city up,
0:16:47 > 0:16:50they would screw it up with screw jacks, as they're called.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53And there you can see the grey bit all along the bottom,
0:16:53 > 0:16:55because they literally were screwing it up.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56While people were living in it.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58There was the Tremont Hotel, for example,
0:16:58 > 0:17:01which covered a whole acre, which they screwed up, there it is.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04They screwed it up and they didn't even close the hotel
0:17:04 > 0:17:06while it was being lifted up off the ground.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09And underneath, in the space, the crawl space, you might say,
0:17:09 > 0:17:12they put sewage and fresh water and so on,
0:17:12 > 0:17:14and it was a resounding success. And Chicago became...
0:17:14 > 0:17:16So there wasn't someone who went to bed in that hotel
0:17:16 > 0:17:19and woke up and went, "What the hell has gone on?"
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- "I'm on a different floor!" - Yeah!
0:17:21 > 0:17:24And, also, the river was full of sewage,
0:17:24 > 0:17:27it flowed into the clean Michigan, and so with an ingenious
0:17:27 > 0:17:30system of locks they made it reverse in the other direction.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32And once a year they dye the river,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35which goes beautifully like a Venetian canal,
0:17:35 > 0:17:37they dye it green. Why would they do that?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- Paddy's Day.- Indeed.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Cos there are lots of Irish and they have the bagpipes and so on.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44And it's a beautiful city, I love it.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46That is actually for real, we haven't done that with Photoshop.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48- Really? - Yeah. That is how it looks.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50So what dye, what...?
0:17:50 > 0:17:51Green dye.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53LAUGHTER
0:17:53 > 0:17:55APPLAUSE
0:17:55 > 0:17:56I'm sorry, I can't do better than that.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58- I'll accept that. No, no. - I wish I could help.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Probably named viridian or something, emerald.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03The towns and cities further down the river
0:18:03 > 0:18:05get St Patrick's Day on the wrong day.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07LAUGHTER
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Yes, the entire city of Chicago was jacked ten feet in the air
0:18:10 > 0:18:11to make room for the plumbing.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Now let's lighten the mood with a little light General Ignorance.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Fingers lightly on your buzzers, please.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Name one of the rules in a walking race.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21You're not allowed to run, are you?
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Well, you certainly can't run, but how do you judge that?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Isn't it that some part of your foot
0:18:26 > 0:18:28has to be in contact with the ground?
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Oooh...
0:18:29 > 0:18:31SIREN
0:18:31 > 0:18:32There you are, you see.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Are those shorts strictly legal, though?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- No.- Oh, hello! - There's a little bit of swinging.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- Oh, God, you can really see it! - Just cover that with your hand.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43- Oh, dear. - Oh, that's really...
0:18:43 > 0:18:45- Please make that stop. - Oh! Wahey!
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Please make that stop.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- Oh, that's so wrong. - Oh, dear.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Ah, he's getting nearer! Oh!
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Look at the feet!
0:18:52 > 0:18:53God, no, no!
0:18:53 > 0:18:56- Look at the feet!- God, no!
0:18:56 > 0:18:58I feel like we've gone back to the sausage round.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00It's gone, it's gone.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Look at the feet, don't look at the trunks.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05That isn't a tip to one of the rules we should know, is it?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07- No pants. - Yeah. Swinging basket.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Keep the junk in the trunk, I think is one of the rules.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12No, the fact is, I will read you the rule if you want to know it,
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- it's the... - Why are penises so funny?
0:19:14 > 0:19:17From the International Association of Athletics Federations,
0:19:17 > 0:19:20the rule book says, "Race walking," as it's called,
0:19:20 > 0:19:22"is a progression of steps so taken that the walker makes contact with
0:19:22 > 0:19:25"the ground so that no visible to the human eye
0:19:25 > 0:19:27"loss of contact occurs."
0:19:27 > 0:19:30All Olympic walkers, when you slow them down on TV, have moments,
0:19:30 > 0:19:33a few milliseconds, sometimes, when both feet are off the ground,
0:19:33 > 0:19:35but it's not visible to the human eye.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37But, of course, nowadays you can freeze frame
0:19:37 > 0:19:39just about anything incredibly accurately,
0:19:39 > 0:19:41so Olympic Games broadcasters and Olympic judges
0:19:41 > 0:19:43get absolutely bombarded with calls from people
0:19:43 > 0:19:46furious cos they've seen both feet off the ground
0:19:46 > 0:19:48and they're convinced that must be against the rules.
0:19:48 > 0:19:49But, actually, it isn't.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Race walking is often seen as a comical event
0:19:51 > 0:19:53and someone once described it as like having
0:19:53 > 0:19:56a competition to see who can whisper the loudest.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Now, here's the crew of the International Space Station.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00Why are they weightless?
0:20:02 > 0:20:04- Oh...- Yes?
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- Because they're in zero gravity. - Oh, dear!
0:20:11 > 0:20:12- A common misapprehension. - Yeah.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14No, that's not it at all.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16There's a huge amount of gravity, they're very close to the earth.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- The moon is...- Oh, so they weren't in flight at that point?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21No, they were orbiting the earth.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23But they're in free-fall, a bit like sky divers.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25And, fortunately, unlike sky divers,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27they're also travelling sideways at the same time.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30If they weren't, they would crash into the earth.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32So there's certainly not zero gravity, there's a lot of gravity.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35The Space Station, and the astronauts in free-fall inside it,
0:20:35 > 0:20:39is plummeting towards the earth but, because of its curvature,
0:20:39 > 0:20:42the ground is falling away from them at the same speed
0:20:42 > 0:20:43as they're falling towards it.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46To put it another way, the Space Station is constantly falling,
0:20:46 > 0:20:49but its tremendous horizontal speed means that it always falls
0:20:49 > 0:20:50over the horizon.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53They love karaoke, don't they? They love that.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55But it's not that there is no gravity acting on them.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57There's a huge amount of gravity acting on the spacecraft,
0:20:57 > 0:20:59or it would just be lost in space.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02So, you didn't do so well on that, so maybe you'll do better on this.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Why do spacecraft get hot on re-entry?
0:21:05 > 0:21:06Why do they get hot?
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- Friction? - Oh, darling Sue, thank you.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- Yeah, you're welcome. - We hoped for that.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Yeah. Well, you came to the right place if you wanted idiot.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18No! You're not idiotic, most of us would have said friction.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21It's not friction, actually. It's what's called a bow shock.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24It's the pressure on the air in front of it,
0:21:24 > 0:21:27like a bow wave of a ship, and the faster you go
0:21:27 > 0:21:31the hotter it becomes, because of this enormous pressure on the air.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34And there are other examples of that sort of effect,
0:21:34 > 0:21:36like a sonic boom, for example,
0:21:36 > 0:21:40when you're going faster, which is also a sort of bow shock.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Everything I know about space is entirely taken
0:21:42 > 0:21:45from Sandra Bullock's performance in Gravity.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Everything I know about space comes from reading The Right Stuff,
0:21:48 > 0:21:51and I know that if you get it wrong, when you re-enter,
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- you can skip off the atmosphere. - Oh, absolutely.
0:21:54 > 0:21:55No, what, like a stone?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Yeah, then you'll just never come back.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00- Then you just keep going. - Yeah.- Yeah.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Well, the fact is, spacecraft heat up on re-entry
0:22:04 > 0:22:06because of the bow shock, not the friction.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10And, finally, who fancies a quantum-locking levitation lark?
0:22:10 > 0:22:13And to help me tonight we have Professor Andrew Boothroyd
0:22:13 > 0:22:15of the Physics Department of Oxford University.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16Hello, Andrew!
0:22:16 > 0:22:18APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:22:20 > 0:22:23So, here we go, this is going to go over my head, so I'm going to duck.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Ta-da! There it is.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29An exciting tray and what looks like a bit of sort of Scalextric
0:22:29 > 0:22:31and let's just line it up there.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33We've got a little bucket here, what's in this bucket, Andrew?
0:22:33 > 0:22:35That's a bucket of liquid nitrogen.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Liquid nitrogen which, as you know, is extremely cold,
0:22:37 > 0:22:40and I'm going to dip a rose into it, just to show how cold it is.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42I'd better put these gloves on first. Health and safety.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Heston Blumenthal's making a rose dish!
0:22:46 > 0:22:51Oh, and these. All safety. Safety, safety, safety.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54- Yeah, as long as you're safe, that's the main thing!- Yeah, quite.
0:22:54 > 0:22:55Here we go.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58So, I'm going to dip a rose into this, you might have had this...
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Ooh! Bubbles away.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04It's really cold now.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06And it might even shatter.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09Oh!
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Look at that, like glass.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14- Shall I not touch the bit that's landed on me?!- No, that's fine.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16LAUGHTER
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Is it burning into your skin?
0:23:17 > 0:23:18It shatters like glass.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22I've got a little wart on my finger, is this a chance to burn it off?
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- You might get a little cryo... - And the rest of your hand.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29It would be a great way of dumping someone on Valentine's Day.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31LAUGHTER
0:23:32 > 0:23:34So, what have we got here, Andrew?
0:23:34 > 0:23:38We've got here a piece of ordinary-looking black ceramic,
0:23:38 > 0:23:41which, when we cool it down to very low temperatures,
0:23:41 > 0:23:43acquires a very extraordinary property.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45- OK.- So if you'd just like to cool it down with liquid nitrogen.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48- I shall baste it with liquid nitrogen.- Oh, my word.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52- There we are. - And we have a second one over here.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55- Oh, right.- Do that one, too. - I'll cool that, as well.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58This is like the beginning of every pop video in the '80s.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Tell me what's particular about this?
0:24:01 > 0:24:04It loses all its resistance, its electrical resistance,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06- and becomes what's known as a super-conductor.- Ah, yes.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08That's one thing.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10And the other thing is that it acquires the property
0:24:10 > 0:24:13that it can bend magnetic field lines
0:24:13 > 0:24:16in such a way that it will always try
0:24:16 > 0:24:20to resist any motion, even if that means hovering above the ground.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22All right. So let's pick it up
0:24:22 > 0:24:23and pop it...
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Whoops!
0:24:26 > 0:24:27There it goes.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29- Whoa!- Oh, wow!- Cool.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- Yeah, it's pretty good, isn't it? - Literally.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36That makes no effect and you can just give it a tip...
0:24:36 > 0:24:38SUE: Oh, that's very strange.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Yeah. There we are.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42And as it warms up it'll slowly sink.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43- Oh, wow.- There you go.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Is this what you do most days at the Oxford University?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Almost every day.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51It's not a bad old job.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52So this one here,
0:24:52 > 0:24:54is very exciting.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57And now it's nice and slidey.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59But look at this.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03- Cool. - And what's happening there?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- It's the magnetic field, isn't it? - That's correct.- It's interrupted
0:25:06 > 0:25:08- by this superconductivity. - But it's not like a normal magnet,
0:25:08 > 0:25:11cos a normal magnet would repel when it's up that way
0:25:11 > 0:25:12and then it would just fall off.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15So this is both repelling and attracting at the same time.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17I'm going to give it one more little go
0:25:17 > 0:25:19and then we can try it on the track.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22I thought you were going to say, "And then we can try it on Alan."
0:25:22 > 0:25:24- LAUGHTER - That would not be nice.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26- No! - Upside down in a bucket of nitrogen.
0:25:28 > 0:25:29There we go. Pop it there.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33- Oh, wow!- Fantastic.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- Round it goes.- That's cool. - That's amazing.- Isn't it good?
0:25:36 > 0:25:38- FRANK:- Can someone pass the Sellotape?
0:25:38 > 0:25:40- It's like a steam train. - And it's got a stream train,
0:25:40 > 0:25:42it can go the other way.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- We can put the wrong type of leaf on the track. - LAUGHTER
0:25:47 > 0:25:50And is this going to get us to Mars? That's the main question.
0:25:50 > 0:25:51Well, what do you think, Andrew?
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Are there any practical applications we can think of?
0:25:53 > 0:25:55You could use it as a piece of transport like that,
0:25:55 > 0:25:58but it's expensive because of the cost of cooling the nitrogen.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00So it's not efficient.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02But if we could find a superconductor
0:26:02 > 0:26:05that worked at room temperature, then it would be viable.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07- Right. - SUE:- Are you working on that?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09- We are, yes indeed, yes, I am. - I trust you.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11- JOSH:- I bet they're not!
0:26:11 > 0:26:14They're just playing with this all the time, that's what I'd be doing.
0:26:14 > 0:26:15I know, isn't it gorgeous?
0:26:15 > 0:26:18So you'd think it would almost be like a maglev train.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19That's what it would be like.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22- Oh, there we go again. I love that.- Oh, I love it.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24- And this, of course, can go on here, as well.- Oh!
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Oh! Oh! Oh!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Argh! Ahhh!
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Don't be too scared. It's all right.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33LAUGHTER
0:26:33 > 0:26:35What a pussy!
0:26:35 > 0:26:36Sorry!
0:26:36 > 0:26:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- That's my favourite one.- Boing!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Oh, it's coming round, it's coming round, it's coming round!
0:26:44 > 0:26:48Unfortunately, this one is less insulated and it'll probably get...
0:26:48 > 0:26:50- Oh, that's stopped it. - It's doing pretty well.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53- It is, isn't it?- Oh, my God, that's coming for me. Oh, no.
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Cool.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Oh, there you go. Bless its heart.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00That would be like the best Christmas present in the world.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02What is the magnet made of?
0:27:02 > 0:27:03It's rather exciting names - boron and...?
0:27:03 > 0:27:05The magnet is made of neodymium, iron and boron
0:27:05 > 0:27:08- and that's what the track is made of.- Neodymium?
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- Neodymium and iron and boron. - Wonderful.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12The superconductor is made of gadolinium, barium,
0:27:12 > 0:27:14copper and oxygen.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16SUE: But you can just use sticky-backed plastic...
0:27:16 > 0:27:18LAUGHTER
0:27:18 > 0:27:20..and a Fairy Liquid bottle.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Well, there you have the miracle that is quantum levitation.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26- Thanks to Andrew Boothroyd. - SUE: Amazing, Andrew, amazing.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - Thank you, Andrew. Thank you so much.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38For once I can say what could be cooler than that?
0:27:38 > 0:27:41That's all the levity we've got time for,
0:27:41 > 0:27:42so let's have a look at the scores.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44It's very exciting.
0:27:44 > 0:27:48I'm afraid, bringing up the rear with minus 14, is Sue Perkins.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51APPLAUSE
0:27:53 > 0:27:57With minus seven, in third place, is Frank Skinner.
0:27:57 > 0:27:58APPLAUSE
0:28:01 > 0:28:05Well, in a brilliant second is Josh Widdicombe, with five.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07APPLAUSE
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- Be still, my pulsing member, in first place... - LAUGHTER
0:28:13 > 0:28:16with 11 points, is Alan Davies!
0:28:16 > 0:28:20APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:28:22 > 0:28:25Well, thanks for watching and good night
0:28:25 > 0:28:27from Sue, Frank, Josh, Alan and me.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30We leave you to ponder upon the last words of the French satirist,
0:28:30 > 0:28:33Francois Rabelais, in 1553.
0:28:33 > 0:28:34These were his dying words -
0:28:34 > 0:28:38"I have nothing, I owe much, the rest I leave to the poor."
0:28:38 > 0:28:40Good night and thank you.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43APPLAUSE