0:00:23 > 0:00:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Gooood evening,
0:00:30 > 0:00:33good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening,
0:00:33 > 0:00:35good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening...
0:00:35 > 0:00:36and welcome to QI -
0:00:36 > 0:00:40where, tonight, we're mired in Misconceptions
0:00:40 > 0:00:42and nothing is as it seems.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Or is it? Or will they? Have they?
0:00:44 > 0:00:46I don't know. LAUGHTER
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Do you? Maybe not. I simply don't know.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Or do I? LAUGHTER
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Joining me tonight are...
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Sue Perkins.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:57 > 0:00:59..Chris Addison...
0:00:59 > 0:01:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:02 > 0:01:04..Sara Cox...
0:01:04 > 0:01:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:07 > 0:01:08..and Alan Davies.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Thank you, thank you.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16So, let's hear your buzzers.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Sue goes...
0:01:17 > 0:01:19BUZZER
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- Oh!- Chris goes... IDENTICAL BUZZER
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Sara goes... IDENTICAL BUZZER
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Alan's buzzer...
0:01:25 > 0:01:27BIRD SCREECHES
0:01:27 > 0:01:28LAUGHTER
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Oh. KLAXON
0:01:30 > 0:01:32LAUGHTER
0:01:32 > 0:01:34That wasn't a buzzer, that was a buzzard.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37- That's harsh, though, isn't it? - It is harsh.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Am I on minus then already,
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- before I've spoken?- Yes.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42That is a new record.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43LAUGHTER
0:01:43 > 0:01:45I have no... My hands are tied.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47LAUGHTER
0:01:47 > 0:01:51Now, how did the first American airmail arrive at its destination?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Human cannonball.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56LAUGHTER That's a good thought.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00They just put a postman in a cannon and fired him.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Was it an air balloon?
0:02:01 > 0:02:04It wasn't, I'm afraid. KLAXON
0:02:06 > 0:02:08- I mean...- Ha-ha-ha!- ..that seems...
0:02:08 > 0:02:11LAUGHTER
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Welcome to QI. Quite right.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Oh, surely a carrier pigeon.
0:02:16 > 0:02:17- Oh!- As in...
0:02:17 > 0:02:20KLAXON
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Was it by bus?
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Closer.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- Bus is closer. Airmail was by bus? - Stagecoach?
0:02:25 > 0:02:28- Train.- Sedan chair.- Train is the right answer.- Sedan chair.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31You deserve to get some points back, because it started by balloon,
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- you see, Sara.- Oh, really?- Yeah.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35With great hoopla, they started an airmail service.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38It was going to go from Indiana to New York.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Unfortunately, they chose the opening day
0:02:40 > 0:02:43and lots of mail had arrived, which was very self-consciously excited.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47"My darling, you're going to get this by a new means of transport,"
0:02:47 > 0:02:49etc, etc. They were all thrilled by it.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52There was no wind and, after five hours, it had gone 30 miles...
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- LAUGHTER ..and so he just...- Could he...?
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Basically, they let themselves down and got on a train.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Throwing the post overboard to keep height.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01LAUGHTER
0:03:01 > 0:03:03He was a piano maker turned ballooning pioneer,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Professor John Wise, who started it out.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08It was in 1859.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12But the regular airmail service was started in 1918
0:03:12 > 0:03:13as a way of training pilots -
0:03:13 > 0:03:16and the assistant postmaster was ruthless,
0:03:16 > 0:03:19and he insisted that the trainees
0:03:19 > 0:03:21would fly, whatever the weather.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23And out of 40 who started,
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- more than half were killed. - Oh, f...!- Oh, dear.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27He was a lunatic. He, himself, didn't fly -
0:03:27 > 0:03:30so it was pretty obvious he had no idea what was going on,
0:03:30 > 0:03:31so it was all rather tragic.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Good to see the use of a sinister doll on the mailbag as well.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35LAUGHTER
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- The whole thing's sent by voodoo. - Yeah, it is.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39LAUGHTER
0:03:39 > 0:03:41It's for when they don't want to get in the plane,
0:03:41 > 0:03:43- he makes them with the doll. - LAUGHTER
0:03:43 > 0:03:44He walks the doll.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46"I don't want to fly in the plane!"
0:03:46 > 0:03:51The first airplane-powered glider airmail service
0:03:51 > 0:03:53was founded by whom?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- Amy Johnson. - The first one was named after...
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- No, she's not known as an aviatrix...- Oh, right.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59..she's known as a novelist.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- Madonna.- Barbara Cartland.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Is the right answer!
0:04:03 > 0:04:08APPLAUSE
0:04:08 > 0:04:10INAUDIBLE
0:04:10 > 0:04:11That was very impressive, Sue.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15Barbara Cartland flew the first glider that dispensed mail?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- Yep, that's absolutely right. - Tell me it was painted pink.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21The glider was called The Barbara Cartland, as you can see. Yeah.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23- Where does she get her ideas? - Indeed.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Well, she was a flapper, she was a sort of deb.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27She was very much an aristocrat,
0:04:27 > 0:04:30part of the Bright Young Things - and they all loved to fly.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- It was an expression of youth.- "Oh, because it was extremely good fun!
0:04:33 > 0:04:35"I mean, just really, really good to get in a glider
0:04:35 > 0:04:36"and just shove a few letters out.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38"Lovely, rollicking, good fun."
0:04:38 > 0:04:42America's first airmail letters arrived by train.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Now, from airmail to e-mail.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47What's the most effective way to do a massive data dump?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- Is it...? - LAUGHTER
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Is it - "Give your laptop to a British civil servant
0:04:52 > 0:04:53"to leave in a car?"
0:04:53 > 0:04:55LAUGHTER Yes, that will happen.
0:04:55 > 0:04:56- A data dump?- Yeah.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58I'm sorry about the picture,
0:04:58 > 0:05:00it's nothing to do with anything lavatorial.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- Where have you got that from? - I've no idea.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04They just googled "data dump", and there you are.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- Yeah.- The techno turd. - LAUGHTER
0:05:06 > 0:05:09No, don't... Forget that whole side of it. We...
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- No, I'm obsessed with that image. - It's our fault.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Our picture suggests the lavatory, but it's not about that.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16If you want to transfer HUGE amounts of data,
0:05:16 > 0:05:18- what's the best way to do it? - Dropbox.- Dropbox, yeah.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Dropbox. You send it... KLAXON
0:05:20 > 0:05:24Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Do you...? By data dump, do you mean to get the data somewhere else,
0:05:27 > 0:05:29- or do you mean to...? - To wipe it?- Yeah, exactly.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- Oh sorry, the "wipe it" again, I mean...- No, not to wipe it.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32LAUGHTER
0:05:32 > 0:05:35But you always want to wipe after a data dump.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36I'll give you an example.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Enormous data sets that come from Hubble
0:05:39 > 0:05:41have to be transferred to different scientists,
0:05:41 > 0:05:43to interpret and to render the images
0:05:43 > 0:05:45and all these kind of... And they're huge data sets.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48So, what do they use to send it? Do they use Ethernet?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Do they use...? What do they use? Fibre optics?
0:05:50 > 0:05:51Do they just print it off?
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- No, that's...- Do they put it in the Cloud?- They don't put it...
0:05:54 > 0:05:56They run to a phone booth. They do all that, like in the old films.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59"I've got all the data. OK, have you got a pen? Listen."
0:05:59 > 0:06:00LAUGHTER
0:06:00 > 0:06:03"OK, first thing - a star, then a bit a space, then another star..."
0:06:03 > 0:06:06- LAUGHTER - ..and do that for some time.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08What they do is they post it...
0:06:08 > 0:06:10in the mail, the ordinary mail.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- It's quicker.- Bradley Wiggins delivers it.- It's quicker.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15It takes less than 24 hours for each transfer
0:06:15 > 0:06:17if you take it by mail.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Whereas, to transfer the complete data set,
0:06:19 > 0:06:20which is 120 terabytes,
0:06:20 > 0:06:23it would take 111 days...
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- if you did it by the internet. - To send?
0:06:25 > 0:06:26- You know, by e-mail.- Yeah.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28That is surprising, isn't it?
0:06:28 > 0:06:30And we've done some calculations.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32FedEx or UPS, or any of those,
0:06:32 > 0:06:34could deliver massive amounts of information
0:06:34 > 0:06:3764 times faster than the internet.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Based on the weight of packages which ship every day...
0:06:39 > 0:06:40They're going to love you!
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- I hope you're getting money from them for this!- No, it's just...
0:06:43 > 0:06:44I didn't... Oh, from FedEx.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47It all ends up on an island with Tom Hanks...
0:06:47 > 0:06:49"Faster than the internet." - Stephen Fry.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51..for three years.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Based on the weight of packages and the weight of memory cards,
0:06:54 > 0:06:58they could transport 2,222 terabytes per second.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Now that... The whole internet, in 2016,
0:07:01 > 0:07:04is expected to be 34.5 terabytes a second.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05What's a terabyte, Stephen?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- Well, you've got a byte... - Yes.- A byte.
0:07:08 > 0:07:09..a kilobyte...
0:07:09 > 0:07:10And then the terror-byte!
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- ..a megabyte...- Megabyte. - Yeah. Megabyte I can do, yeah.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Yeah, a megabyte. ..and then a gigabyte...- Yeah.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18..and a terabyte...
0:07:18 > 0:07:21..and then you have a petabyte, even bigger than that. Petabyte.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23But the expansion of memory,
0:07:23 > 0:07:26the expansion of processing power in computing is bewildering -
0:07:26 > 0:07:29partly because it doubles every two years,
0:07:29 > 0:07:31and do you know what that is called?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33It was predicted in the '60s that it would double.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- A gobble, a gobble, a double gobble. - No, there was a man who predicted
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- Oh, right.- ..that it would double every two years.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41His name was Gordon Moore and it's called Moore's Law,
0:07:41 > 0:07:43- and Moore's Law...- Oh, that's good.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45- That worked out well, didn't it? - Yeah.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Moore's Law has governed the astonishing rise in power
0:07:47 > 0:07:50and capacity in computing ever since.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53For a long, long time. It doubles and doubles and doubles.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56To give you an example of how breathtaking and bewildering it is,
0:07:56 > 0:07:58we've got some memory capacity here.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Here... This is from the '60s
0:08:00 > 0:08:03and it's rather elegant in its own little way.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06And it would have fitted into some sort of great, big cabinet
0:08:06 > 0:08:08that was part of a computing system.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10It's called the Univac 1004.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14And it's a core store memory module.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16And how much memory do you think that contains?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18A byte.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20No, it's a lot more than that.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21- A gigabyte.- A gigabyte.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Oh, no, it's nothing like as big as that.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24LAUGHTER
0:08:24 > 0:08:27- It's one kilobyte. - A kilobyte?!- Yeah.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29- There's a kilobyte, too. - What's a kilobyte?- I don't remember.
0:08:29 > 0:08:311,000 bytes.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33And look. I've got here, this -
0:08:33 > 0:08:35which is 128 gigabytes.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Can you see it? I'll put it there, it's a little...
0:08:37 > 0:08:40micro SD chip.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43And this, here,
0:08:43 > 0:08:49would have to weigh 140,229 metric tonnes...
0:08:49 > 0:08:52to carry this much information. LAUGHTER
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- In 1963.- Yeah. - That is hugely impractical.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55It's... Exactly.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Just under six-and-a-half Ark Royal aircraft carriers...
0:08:59 > 0:09:00- I'd need an extension done. - LAUGHTER
0:09:00 > 0:09:02..if this was what you were using.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04And it just shows, this is an example of Moore's Law -
0:09:04 > 0:09:06you go from that to that.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Or maybe this.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09Ah! There we are.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11- Look at that. Isn't that beautiful?- It is.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13It is a splendid piece of work, isn't it?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- That's the middle of C-3PO. - LAUGHTER
0:09:15 > 0:09:19It's the Elliott 803 core store memory module.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21It was made in the early '60s, also,
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- and it weighs seven kilograms... - Wow.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26..and stores 20 kilobytes.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29LAUGHTER Wow!
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- Yeah.- How about that?
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- My favourite one...- Supercomputers.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36..is the Bryant Model-2 Series hard disk platter.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- Mine too.- Yeah.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40I love that. I've got all of them.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42I have a poster. Did you have the poster?
0:09:42 > 0:09:45- Yeah, absolutely. I was obsessed. - I love it. I was in the club.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46- I had the... - GASPS AND LAUGHTER
0:09:46 > 0:09:48- There it is.- No!
0:09:48 > 0:09:50THAT is a hard disk.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51Isn't that good?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- It's a disk...- That's ludicrous!
0:09:53 > 0:09:55HE KNOCKS ON DISK ..and it's hard.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57LAUGHTER
0:09:57 > 0:09:59It's very rare for technology to double as S&M equipment, isn't it?
0:09:59 > 0:10:02LAUGHTER I think it's absolutely blissful.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05You look like a Borrower playing with a CD.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06I'm going to put that down again...
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Oh! ..because it's so heavy. Oh!
0:10:09 > 0:10:12It's made of magnesium alloy of some kind.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13- Careful, you'll scratch it. - LAUGHTER
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Yeah, I don't want to scratch it.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17It carried eight megabytes,
0:10:17 > 0:10:19so that was pretty impressive.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- What's a megabyte?- And its drive... LAUGHTER
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Can't remember.
0:10:23 > 0:10:28The drive that operated the Bryant Model-2 Series hard disk platter,
0:10:28 > 0:10:31the brochure boasted its short warm-up time.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32Which was?
0:10:32 > 0:10:3415 minutes.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35- LAUGHTER - Oh.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Well, listen, I ought to say that we are extremely grateful
0:10:38 > 0:10:42to the National Museum of Computing, who lent us these fabulous items.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46If you want a really great day out, you could do a lot worse than visit
0:10:46 > 0:10:48the National Museum of Computing at Bletchley -
0:10:48 > 0:10:50where, of course, Enigma was cracked
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- and it's the home of British engineering in that regard.- Yeah.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Now then, for a question about mistakes,
0:10:55 > 0:10:58what's the real cost of parachute jumping?
0:10:58 > 0:10:59A shattered pelvis?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01It can be.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Why do most people jump off planes?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05- For charity.- Charity.- For charity.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06Well...
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Which is good, don't get me wrong. LAUGHTER
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Can I just say, it's only in that situation,
0:11:10 > 0:11:13falling out of a plane, that my hair makes sense.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14LAUGHTER
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I've been looking for a context for this for years.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- It does, doesn't it? - Now, finally.- Whoosh.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Stephen appears quite frightened at the back there.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23- Well, I am...- Are you on fire?
0:11:23 > 0:11:29..because I probably know about the 1999 Perth Royal Infirmary study -
0:11:29 > 0:11:30which is most unfortunate.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33They looked at five years of charity jumps
0:11:33 > 0:11:38and found they resulted in injuries to 174 people, right?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40- Which cost the National Health Service...- Oh, no.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43over £600,000.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45How much had they raised?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48The average amount raised per person for charity was £30.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50So, every pound raised
0:11:50 > 0:11:54cost the NHS roughly £13.75.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Oh, that is so depressing, though.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01And, of course, about 70% of the jumps
0:12:01 > 0:12:04were raising money for NHS-related causes.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- LAUGHTER - Oh, no. That is amazing.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09It is amazing, isn't it?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11The thing is, when you think about it, don't do something
0:12:11 > 0:12:14that is likely to injure yourself, if that's your game.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16"I'm having a sponsored catch-the-measles."
0:12:16 > 0:12:17LAUGHTER
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- Sponsored...- For Measles Relief. - Yeah, for Measles relief.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Sponsored spread cholera.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Bring typhus back....for charity. - LAUGHTER
0:12:25 > 0:12:26It is... Well, a lot of...
0:12:26 > 0:12:29I think if you've jumped out of a plane, you should pay.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31- Well, yes.- But don't they pay? - "How did you do it?"
0:12:31 > 0:12:34"I jumped out of a plane." "Oh, well, I'm sorry, but..."
0:12:34 > 0:12:36A lot of them are first-time jumpers, of course,
0:12:36 > 0:12:38and what happens is, very often,
0:12:38 > 0:12:40when the ground rushes up to meet you,
0:12:40 > 0:12:43you forget everything you've been taught
0:12:43 > 0:12:46and so all the bad things you've been told could happen, happen.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48And you need longer training,
0:12:48 > 0:12:51not necessarily on the details of how to roll and drop -
0:12:51 > 0:12:54but on how to prepare your mind so that you don't panic.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57- That's the key.- Is that a thing that they do in the paras then?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00So before they go behind enemy lines, are they there going,
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- "Hmm..."? - LAUGHTER
0:13:02 > 0:13:05"Just don't drop us yet, I'm not quite there."
0:13:05 > 0:13:07LAUGHTER Maybe. Maybe.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10I mean the fact is, it's a dangerous thing to do.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13And in the days of, you know, those great commando parachute drops,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15they're unlikely to survive more than three.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Well, but then there were people shooting at you then -
0:13:18 > 0:13:21which might actually make them more fun, these charity drops.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Certainly add a bit of spice.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Well, there was a dog called Rob, in 1945,
0:13:25 > 0:13:30and this was in Africa and Italy, in the campaign there, and he...
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Apparently, he did 20 drops, and he won...
0:13:33 > 0:13:35For the RSPCA!
0:13:35 > 0:13:37He won the... LAUGHTER
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- Yes, quite!- Fundraising.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42He won the Dickin Medal, which is the VC for animals.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44They just open the door of the plane, throw a bone out
0:13:44 > 0:13:46and off he goes.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48But it wasn't until 2006 that it was revealed
0:13:48 > 0:13:50that his heroism was a hoax.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51- What?- Oh.- For morale?
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Well, not quite, actually. Well, sort of morale, in a way.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57It was that the couple from Shropshire,
0:13:57 > 0:13:59who had given the dog to the regiment, said,
0:13:59 > 0:14:01"Can we have him back, please?"
0:14:01 > 0:14:03And the regiment were so fond of him,
0:14:03 > 0:14:06they made-up all these things to show that he was indispensable.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09"He's a heroic dog, you will not believe what he can do."
0:14:09 > 0:14:11And so they went, "Oh, all right then, you'd better keep him,
0:14:11 > 0:14:13"I suppose. He's valuable for the war effort."
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- But he wasn't at all, he was just a mascot.- Brilliant.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17They just liked him.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Sending them pictures of him chewing Hitler's legs.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21LAUGHTER Yes, that's right.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25After World War II, in America, they used surplus parachutes
0:14:25 > 0:14:28to help repopulate beavers into the wild.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30The idea was they'd shove them in a box.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33They first thought, "We'll shove them in a box and they'll fall
0:14:33 > 0:14:35"and then they'll gnaw their way out of the box."
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- Then they worried...- This doesn't sound like sexy times to me.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Just shove them in a box. They'll pull through.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42They worried that they'd eat through the box
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- while they were still in the air. - They chucked them out of a plane?
0:14:45 > 0:14:46- Yeah.- To repopulate...- Yeah. LAUGHTER
0:14:46 > 0:14:48There are huge areas of wilderness.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- It's incredibly hard to... - Yes, it makes total sense.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52..give them their own territory.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Couldn't they have driven them there, Stephen?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56- They could have driven them there. - No... Wilderness.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Huge areas of wilderness. They're bigger than countries.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- They're bigger than England, these...- What, beavers?!
0:15:01 > 0:15:03No, the parks! The parks. LAUGHTER
0:15:03 > 0:15:05"Bring me some massive beavers!"
0:15:05 > 0:15:07- The parks in which you wished to drop them.- OK.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09And you want to sort of get them disposed evenly around.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11- Why had they been dying out? - Oh, gosh.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- People had been throwing them out of planes.- Yeah.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15LAUGHTER
0:15:15 > 0:15:18As you fall out, you gnaw your way out of your crate and go,
0:15:18 > 0:15:19"Oh, thanks a lot!"
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- "Well, this is the middle of... - HE MOUTHS- ..nowhere."
0:15:21 > 0:15:23LAUGHTER
0:15:23 > 0:15:25"I've got to go all the way back to Ottawa."
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Until another beaver lands on your head at high velocity.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28LAUGHTER
0:15:28 > 0:15:30The rest of the wildlife...
0:15:30 > 0:15:32The moose around there,
0:15:32 > 0:15:34"What is going on?!"
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Beavers coming out of the sky.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37"My God! It's actually happening!"
0:15:37 > 0:15:39"It's raining beavers."
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Part of the moose religious texts is that that's...
0:15:42 > 0:15:43LAUGHTER
0:15:43 > 0:15:47That's a sign of the rapture is when the beavers start dropping.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48Well, they had tried moving them
0:15:48 > 0:15:51into new territories for them by mule
0:15:51 > 0:15:54and they just simply got too hot and they really didn't like it at all.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57- They put a beaver on horseback, essentially?- Yeah.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Well, you've got to transport it somehow.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01- What...? How would you transport it? - Well, I...
0:16:01 > 0:16:03But I don't understand why the beavers...
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- I don't understand any of this. - LAUGHTER
0:16:06 > 0:16:07They thought, "We can't..."
0:16:07 > 0:16:09"OK, there's no way we can drop them into a park,
0:16:09 > 0:16:11"other than from the sky."
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Or by mule, which you found also incomprehensible.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Is there a man with...?
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Or a lady with a beaver on horseback?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Or is it just a beaver on horseback?
0:16:21 > 0:16:22LAUGHTER
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Of course there's a person.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25I'm confused.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27So, is it one beaver per mule?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29LAUGHTER
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Because then they're repopulating the place with mules,
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- as far as I can work it out. - LAUGHTER
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Yeah, the beavers didn't want to stay.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40The mules have forced the beavers further along...
0:16:40 > 0:16:42They were relying on the mule to find its way back.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43LAUGHTER
0:16:43 > 0:16:46More complicated than you think, this beaver transportation thing.
0:16:46 > 0:16:47Yeah, it is.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Well, that was harder work than I expected.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52LAUGHTER
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Now, we're off to the match and it's penalty time.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57For the best chance of success, where should you aim?
0:16:57 > 0:16:58At the ball.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00LAUGHTER
0:17:00 > 0:17:03- And then into the goal.- Wahey!
0:17:03 > 0:17:05I'm so bad at sport, my inclination would be to...
0:17:05 > 0:17:07I know where I'd hit it,
0:17:07 > 0:17:09so I would then just reverse my natural inclination.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11That would probably be the best.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13- So, a bit of game theory going on, on yourself?- Yes.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- Yeah.- See, I'd go top right,
0:17:15 > 0:17:18which means that probably the best way would be bottom left...
0:17:18 > 0:17:21KLAXON
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Yeah, top corner either way is not the best.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Is it "at the goalie?"
0:17:25 > 0:17:26Yes.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28- Because he's going to jump... - Yeah, because he's going to...
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- He's going to go.- Because the goalkeeper nearly always
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- goes one way or the other.- So you hit it straight down the middle?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Straight down the middle is, far and away,
0:17:36 > 0:17:38the most statistical likely way of doing it.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42But it's odd, because footballers know this...
0:17:42 > 0:17:45because it's been, you know, obviously well gone over...
0:17:45 > 0:17:47and yet footballers don't.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Is it because they just think they'd look so stupid
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- if they kicked it right at the keeper...- Yes!
0:17:51 > 0:17:53..and the keeper just caught it?
0:17:53 > 0:17:55If the one or two times out of 100,
0:17:55 > 0:17:57the goalkeeper does actually stay in the middle
0:17:57 > 0:17:59and the ball goes and hits him,
0:17:59 > 0:18:01the crowd would just boo their heads off
0:18:01 > 0:18:03and think that the penalty taker is the biggest idiot in the world.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Although, statistically, he was doing exactly the right thing.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09So, they'd rather not look a fool. You're absolutely right.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Because it's seen as 50/50.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12If the goalie goes the correct way and saves it,
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- it's still seen as all right, isn't it?- Yes.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17In fact, it's 57% in one direction,
0:18:17 > 0:18:2041% in the other.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- Do you know which that might be? - Left. Left-right.- Left?
0:18:22 > 0:18:24- It's 57% left, yes. - Because you...
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- They go left more often. - ..use your right foot.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28And 2% in the middle.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Three countries have an absolute
0:18:30 > 0:18:330% success record in penalty shoot-outs.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34They played two and lost two.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- San Marino?- No, it's Gabon...
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- Micronesia.- ..Romania and Chile.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43But there's one country that's taken part in more than two
0:18:43 > 0:18:47and has the worst record of all in the world, apart from those three...
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- Is it England? - ..and it's England.- Yeah.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52- AUDIENCE GROANS - Why is that?- What a surprise(!)
0:18:52 > 0:18:54We've only ever won one.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56We've won one out of eight.
0:18:56 > 0:19:0112.5% success rate - as opposed to Germany, who've won 83% of theirs.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Why is that then?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Because, presumably, all teams have access to that
0:19:04 > 0:19:06very simple statistical information.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Is it just the fact that it's now embedded in the psyche?
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- FAUX GERMAN ACCENT: - "You are weak, mentally weak."
0:19:11 > 0:19:13LAUGHTER
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- Do you think hypnotism would help? - Probably.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- Of the keeper.- Of the keeper, yeah. - LAUGHTER
0:19:18 > 0:19:20- Of the keeper, like... - LAUGHTER
0:19:20 > 0:19:24I think if it was me, I'd stand by one post, feigning indifference...
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- Having a fag. - ..and, as they run up to take it,
0:19:27 > 0:19:29- I would sprint to the other post... - LAUGHTER
0:19:29 > 0:19:30..surely distracting him
0:19:30 > 0:19:33and, if he did go that way, it would hit me on the way past.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34LAUGHTER
0:19:34 > 0:19:35That would do it.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Yep, that's the plain truth.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39To be successful in penalty shoot-outs,
0:19:39 > 0:19:43either go straight down the middle or be German.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44LAUGHTER
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Do an impression of the world's first mime.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50"Come back! I'm not supposed to be saying anything. Come back!"
0:19:50 > 0:19:53- Is it the one where you do...?- Oh.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55They do the... Is it that one?
0:19:55 > 0:19:59KLAXON Oh, they're all doing it.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01You're all doing activities.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Where does the word "mime" come from, do you imagine?
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- "Twat in white gloves?"- Mimic? - LAUGHTER
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Mimic, the same root as the word mimic.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11You see...
0:20:11 > 0:20:13- Mimesis.- Yeah.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16- Greek word meaning... Yes, imitation.- Imitation, yeah.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17It was acting,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19it was full-on acting.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Speech and movement and everything else.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25The world's first mime was a fellow called Sophron,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27who was much admired by Plato, amongst others.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29His audience don't seem to like him very much.
0:20:29 > 0:20:30Well, no, that's... LAUGHTER
0:20:30 > 0:20:32- They're punching him. - No, I think...
0:20:32 > 0:20:34They're recreating that night after Top Gear.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37LAUGHTER
0:20:37 > 0:20:41Very good. APPLAUSE
0:20:41 > 0:20:43In Rome, mimes were pretty amazing.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Women took the female parts, which is just...
0:20:46 > 0:20:47- Scandalous!- Yeah.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48LAUGHTER
0:20:48 > 0:20:52Performers did not wear masks or formal acting shoes.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54LAUGHTER
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Oh! Forfend!
0:20:55 > 0:20:56"My formal acting shoes."
0:20:56 > 0:20:59"What kind of formal acting shoes would you wear?"
0:20:59 > 0:21:01The object... Now you'll like this, Alan.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04The object was to get laughs, no matter how obscene...
0:21:04 > 0:21:06LAUGHTER ..the jokes had to be.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09They all had a character called the "stupidus," or fool, who was some...
0:21:09 > 0:21:13- Who's actually the cleverest one of them all.- Yes. Now, exactly.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14LAUGHTER
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Sometimes they featured adultery live on stage.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Wahey!
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- Or a little bit less, less... - Gets better by the minute!
0:21:21 > 0:21:22Less amusingly,
0:21:22 > 0:21:26live executions with actors replaced by condemned criminals.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29- Were they wearing the right shoes? - Yes.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33The church excommunicated all mimes in the fifth century AD.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Not a moment too soon.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- Why?- I guess, because they were pleasurable and...
0:21:39 > 0:21:40It's not why, it's...
0:21:40 > 0:21:44- It's hard because you can't scream. - LAUGHTER
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Anyway, if you want something, what's the magic word?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49"Darling..."
0:21:49 > 0:21:51LAUGHTER
0:21:51 > 0:21:53"Please."
0:21:53 > 0:21:55KLAXON
0:21:55 > 0:21:57LAUGHTER
0:21:57 > 0:22:00This is something that's been researched.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02There is a particular word.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Let's suppose that you queue-barge.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09Now, in general, if you queue-barge apologetically and charmingly,
0:22:09 > 0:22:1260% of people will let you in without too much complaint -
0:22:12 > 0:22:15this was done for a queue to a photocopier -
0:22:15 > 0:22:18but if you used this one word in your sentence,
0:22:18 > 0:22:21you would get 95% of people letting you in quite happily.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- Smallpox? - LAUGHTER
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- Letting you in...- "I've got the smallpox. Can I get in?"
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Letting you in, not abandoning the queue.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31- It's a good thought though. - It's probably better though.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33- "Unclean, unclean."- What do you say?
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Do you say, "Room for a small one?"
0:22:36 > 0:22:38You say, "I like your blouse. Can I come in?"
0:22:38 > 0:22:40LAUGHTER It's one word.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42"Because."
0:22:42 > 0:22:46"Because." "Yeah, because I've got some photocopying to do."
0:22:46 > 0:22:48And it's obvious you've got photocopying to do,
0:22:48 > 0:22:50you've gone to the front of the photocopying queue,
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- but just saying "because" is the magic word.- You can't...
0:22:53 > 0:22:55It unlocks people's objection. "Because I'm in a hurry."
0:22:55 > 0:22:57"Do you mind? Because I'm in a hurry."
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Can you turn to someone and go, "Because!"
0:22:59 > 0:23:01LAUGHTER Maybe.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03# Because, because, because, because... #
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Obviously there are...
0:23:05 > 0:23:07There are variables in terms of attitude and niceness.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09# I'm off to see the wizard... #
0:23:09 > 0:23:11"Because!"
0:23:11 > 0:23:13"All right, go in front, Christ!"
0:23:13 > 0:23:14LAUGHTER
0:23:14 > 0:23:18- He's going to do the whole musical. - You're ever so silly. Oh, dear.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22# The wonderful Wizard of Oz... # "All right, go in front of me!"
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Well, I can illustrate the answer, actually,
0:23:24 > 0:23:26because - say it's a magical word here, this is...
0:23:26 > 0:23:29- You know I like to do little magical moments...- I know.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30..because it's the M series here -
0:23:30 > 0:23:32and we've got, as you can see, MAGICAL.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36So, what we do is, we take all the letters from MAGICAL...
0:23:36 > 0:23:37As you can see, I hope.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39..and we shuffle them about.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- I'll have one from the bottom, please.- Well...
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Or from anywhere else, please, Carol.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46What I'll do is, I'll give you... I'll give you the numbers,
0:23:46 > 0:23:49so you can call out where you want the letter to go.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50- Do you see?- OK. Yes, sir.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53So I'll pick a letter up and you decide where it goes, all right.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- Three.- Three?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57One, two, three, isn't it? There. Yeah.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59- Smooth.- Seven.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Seven? All right. This will go in seven.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04- Are you sure seven?- Five. - All right, OK.- Five.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06One, two, three, four, five. Yeah.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07- One.- One, oh...
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- This is what happens when you do these things.- Four.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Four? Oh, God, you had to do that, didn't you?
0:24:13 > 0:24:14- Yeah?- Two.- Two.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Two? All right, all right, all right.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18And what are the chances? What are the chances?
0:24:18 > 0:24:21What are the chances?!
0:24:21 > 0:24:26APPLAUSE
0:24:28 > 0:24:31The laws of physics absolutely defied on this programme.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33It's frightening. LAUGHTER
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Now - since this whole show has been about Misconceptions -
0:24:35 > 0:24:38this week, we've replaced General Ignorance
0:24:38 > 0:24:41with a test of your M-themed general knowledge.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44There are lots and lots of points to be won in this quickfire round,
0:24:44 > 0:24:46so fingers on buzzers.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48What's the capital of Mexico? BUZZARD
0:24:48 > 0:24:50- Mexico City.- Is the right answer.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Very good. Name the deepest part of the ocean?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55- BUZZARD Yes?- The Mariana...
0:24:55 > 0:24:56Marianas Trench or something?
0:24:56 > 0:24:58The Mariana Trench is the right answer.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00If something is genuine, it's the real...?
0:25:00 > 0:25:01- BUZZER - McCoy.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Oh. KLAXON
0:25:04 > 0:25:05LAUGHTER
0:25:05 > 0:25:07No, the original phrase is McKay.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10That's 42 years older than the phrase - "the real McCoy."
0:25:10 > 0:25:14It's from G McKay, the Scottish distillers.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15There you are.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18FAUX SCOTTISH ACCENT: "A drappie o' the real McKay."
0:25:18 > 0:25:21So, what city can be found on the Moscow River?
0:25:21 > 0:25:22- BUZZER Yes?- Moscow.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Is the right answer!
0:25:24 > 0:25:26What's the name of Cameron Mackintosh's
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Abba-themed London Musical?
0:25:28 > 0:25:30- BUZZARD Yes?- Mamma Mia.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32BUZZER Mamma Mia? Oh, Alan!
0:25:32 > 0:25:34KLAXON
0:25:34 > 0:25:37No, indeed. BUZZER
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Mamma Mia was produced by Judy Craymer -
0:25:39 > 0:25:42but, before that, a musical called Abbacadabra,
0:25:42 > 0:25:43produced by Cameron Mackintosh,
0:25:43 > 0:25:48- staged at the Lyric, Hammersmith, in 1983.- Oh!- Yeah.
0:25:48 > 0:25:49So, who created Miss Marple?
0:25:49 > 0:25:51BUZZER Yes?
0:25:51 > 0:25:53- Agatha Christie.- Of course.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55- You see, nothing to be frightened of.- I'm scared now.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57LAUGHTER That's the point...
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- I'm really scared. - ..we want you scared.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Agatha Christie, of course, created Miss Marple.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04What's the gambling capital of the world?
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- BUZZER Yes?- Las Vegas.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Oh! KLAXON
0:26:09 > 0:26:12- Oh, that was really unlucky. - I don't know.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15- Is it Croydon?- Dubai?- "Croydon." LAUGHTER
0:26:15 > 0:26:17It's seven times bigger than Las Vegas.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19- BUZZER - It's Hong Kong.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21- No. You're in the right area. - The other one.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23- What's our themed letter?- M. M...
0:26:23 > 0:26:25- AUDIENCE CALL OUT:- Macau.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Audience gets the points. BUZZER
0:26:27 > 0:26:28APPLAUSE
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- I guessed on your behalf. - It's Macau.- Macau.- Is it really?
0:26:31 > 0:26:34- Yes.- Where's your sheep, though? Hey!
0:26:34 > 0:26:36- It's Ma-cow.- Here's me cow.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39LAUGHTER
0:26:39 > 0:26:41- Very, very, very, very...- Me cow.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43..very amusing!
0:26:43 > 0:26:46LAUGHTER
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Macau is the gambling capital of the world.
0:26:48 > 0:26:49Where's your cow?
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Your last chance for lots of points is a picture round.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56Please draw a picture of a juvenile fruit fly brain.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00A juvenile fruit fly brain?
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Yes, indeed.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03All right.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05I'll wager...
0:27:05 > 0:27:07that it doesn't have one.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10LAUGHTER
0:27:10 > 0:27:12I'm going to do it...
0:27:12 > 0:27:13So, we've already got...
0:27:13 > 0:27:16We've got there, from Chris' juvenile fruit fly brain
0:27:16 > 0:27:19- to scale.- I've done a banana. What have you drawn?
0:27:19 > 0:27:20You've got a strawberry.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Well, the shattering news for you, Alan -
0:27:22 > 0:27:24and it really is disappointing -
0:27:24 > 0:27:26is that, for once, what you usually draw could have worked.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29- What, it's like...- It's a cock and balls!- ..a cock and balls?
0:27:29 > 0:27:31- No!- Yes! LAUGHTER
0:27:31 > 0:27:32There they are.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35WHISTLING
0:27:35 > 0:27:37You see, the one time you didn't.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40The one time you behaved. Oh, you did?
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- Before the show.- Before the show.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Before the show? I see.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46We got the cock and balls out of our system before the show.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48- LAUGHTER - We got that out of the way.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51First thing you do when you arrive. Do the cock and balls.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Do the cock and balls, then you won't make a fool of yourself
0:27:53 > 0:27:55by drawing a cock and balls on the programme.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Well, on that cock-shell, let's take a look at...
0:27:57 > 0:27:59LAUGHTER
0:27:59 > 0:28:00Let's take a look at the scores.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03It's pretty exciting, because we have a clear winner,
0:28:03 > 0:28:05on a staggering...
0:28:05 > 0:28:07plus - and minus - zero,
0:28:07 > 0:28:10is Chris Addison. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:10 > 0:28:12How?
0:28:12 > 0:28:14In second place...
0:28:14 > 0:28:16with a highly impressive minus six,
0:28:16 > 0:28:21Sue Perkins. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Usually this would be good enough to win the wooden spoon, Sara,
0:28:24 > 0:28:28it's a brilliant first appearance to get minus 13...
0:28:28 > 0:28:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:30 > 0:28:34..but it takes an old hand to do really, really badly at this game,
0:28:34 > 0:28:38- Alan Davies on minus 54!- 54?!
0:28:38 > 0:28:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:44 > 0:28:47So it's thank you from Sara, Chris, Sue, Alan and me.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50And I leave you with this from Charlie Brown.
0:28:50 > 0:28:55"Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?'
0:28:55 > 0:28:57"Then a voice says to me,
0:28:57 > 0:29:00" 'This is going to take more than one night.' "
0:29:00 > 0:29:02LAUGHTER Goodnight.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05APPLAUSE