North Norse

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06THEME MUSIC PLAYS

0:00:24 > 0:00:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:29 > 0:00:32Hurrah!

0:00:34 > 0:00:36Lovely. Thank you very much.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to QI

0:00:41 > 0:00:45where tonight, we'll be strapping on our snowshoes, saddling up our elks

0:00:45 > 0:00:47and heading to the frozen north,

0:00:47 > 0:00:49or as they say in Danish...

0:00:49 > 0:00:52SHE SPEAKS DANISH

0:00:52 > 0:00:56APPLAUSE AND CHEERING I know.

0:00:56 > 0:01:01I've been here no time at all and we're already doing it in two languages.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Let's meet our nefarious Norsemen.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05The cool Jason Manford.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08- APPLAUSE - Hello. Thank you very much.

0:01:08 > 0:01:11The chilled Lucy Beaumont.

0:01:11 > 0:01:15APPLAUSE

0:01:15 > 0:01:18The howling waste that is Rhod Gilbert.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

0:01:22 > 0:01:24And an absolute zero, Alan Davies.

0:01:24 > 0:01:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:32 > 0:01:35So, our northern noises come from Iceland because their buzzers

0:01:35 > 0:01:37are all Bjorky.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39So Jason goes...

0:01:39 > 0:01:46# It's oh so quiet Shh! Shh! #

0:01:46 > 0:01:48And Rhod goes...

0:01:48 > 0:01:50# It's oh so still... #

0:01:50 > 0:01:53- LAUGHTER - Cheap, I like it.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55And Lucy goes...

0:01:55 > 0:02:01# All alone Shh! Shh! #

0:02:01 > 0:02:03And Alan goes...

0:02:03 > 0:02:05# Wah! Wah! #

0:02:05 > 0:02:09LAUGHTER

0:02:09 > 0:02:10Excellent.

0:02:10 > 0:02:15Now, I've asked you all to bring your favourite thing about Denmark.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18So, obviously, my very first question is going to be,

0:02:18 > 0:02:20what's the second best thing to come out of Denmark?

0:02:20 > 0:02:22LAUGHTER

0:02:22 > 0:02:26- And we will start with Alan. Start with Alan.- It's you, Sandi.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28- Aw. AUDIENCE:- Aw!

0:02:28 > 0:02:30And this week's winner is Alan!

0:02:30 > 0:02:35LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:02:35 > 0:02:38- Come on, favourite things from Denmark.- Pastries.- Which?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40- Danish pastries. - They're not from Denmark.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43- Danish pastries. They're not from Denmark.- Not from there.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45- LAUGHTER - I knew that.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47They're from Vienna.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50Well, they were made by Viennese pastry chefs in Copenhagen.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52We call it wienerbrod, so Vienna bread.

0:02:52 > 0:02:57I know that Copenhagen is on the same line of latitude as Glasgow.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Is that your gift to me. That particular fact?

0:02:59 > 0:03:02No. No, no.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05- There's a Danish thing that's not really a thing.- Right.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08- It's like a hug.- Yes.- It's a hygge. - It's a hygge.- It's a thing.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11- Like a feeling. - Yep. It doesn't translate.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14It's the most wonderful word and what it means is to get

0:03:14 > 0:03:15together with your friends,

0:03:15 > 0:03:18usually in candlelight, and to feel really mellow and enjoy yourself,

0:03:18 > 0:03:20and in general that involves alcohol.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23- Yeah, that's why... - LAUGHTER

0:03:23 > 0:03:25- That's my gift to you.- Thank you. Aw. That is lovely.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27We say that to our friends.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29We ring them up and say, "Come over, we'll hygge."

0:03:29 > 0:03:31- And it just means bring beer. - "We'll have a nice time."

0:03:31 > 0:03:35Now, Lucy, surely you've got a little something for me as a gift.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39My favourite thing to come out of Denmark

0:03:39 > 0:03:42is Saga Noren, the character.

0:03:42 > 0:03:47Oh, played by the genius Sofia Helin in The Bridge.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49The only trouble with that, and I love the gift,

0:03:49 > 0:03:50is she's Swedish.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53LAUGHTER

0:03:53 > 0:03:55- It's very similar, though, isn't it?- Yeah.

0:03:55 > 0:04:00- LAUGHTER AUDIENCE:- Oh!

0:04:00 > 0:04:03You're very particular about the what's Danish and what...

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Doesn't really matter.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07You know there was a murder on that bridge, don't you?

0:04:07 > 0:04:10I have to say, it is the most brilliant thing.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13Her portrayal of Saga Noren is astonishing.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16It's the best portrayal of a person with Asperger's I've ever seen.

0:04:16 > 0:04:20I know. I've never been so influenced by anything.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22And sometimes I feel like her.

0:04:22 > 0:04:25When I'm walking towards a car to get in it, I feel like her,

0:04:25 > 0:04:27like when she walked towards her car.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31I did it the other day, in Waitrose.

0:04:31 > 0:04:35Can you show us how you got in the car? What you did?

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Not without a car, no.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Right. What about Jason?

0:04:43 > 0:04:48My favourite thing about Denmark, or from Denmark, of course...

0:04:48 > 0:04:52- Oh, that is... - ..is this.- ...absolutely brilliant.

0:04:52 > 0:04:56- Now, I must give it its official BBC title.- Yes.

0:04:57 > 0:05:01Generic Danish interlocking children's building set.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03LAUGHTER

0:05:03 > 0:05:06APPLAUSE

0:05:06 > 0:05:07That's fantastic.

0:05:07 > 0:05:11So, Rhod. You have to top the interlocking gift.

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Well, when I was asked my favourite thing about Norway,

0:05:15 > 0:05:17I didn't really know a lot about... Denmark, sorry.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19LAUGHTER

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Oh, does it matter? Come on!

0:05:28 > 0:05:30IRRITATED NOISE

0:05:30 > 0:05:34So, what if I said, those Welsh and the Scots, they're exactly the same.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37You'd get lynched.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40I'm fine, there's no Danish people here apart from you.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44- All right, Denmark. If you insist, Denmark.- I do.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Right, I didn't know much about Denmark, Norway,

0:05:46 > 0:05:48call it what you want...

0:05:48 > 0:05:49LAUGHTER

0:05:51 > 0:05:54- So I sort of Googled it.- Right.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57It always comes up as the happiest place or the second happiest place.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Yes, absolutely right.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Although, coincidently, it's always the happiest place

0:06:01 > 0:06:03and the largest consumers of antidepressants.

0:06:03 > 0:06:08So I don't know if that's linked. Just a thought.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10It's cos they do chocolate flavoured ones.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16Some people say it's the high incomes or the low levels of

0:06:16 > 0:06:19inequality, the large welfare state, the good education...

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Yes, darling, not really a speech,

0:06:21 > 0:06:23more of a gift is what we're looking for.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25Well, I don't think it's because of any of those things.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27I think it's because they have a strict,

0:06:27 > 0:06:31strict control over breaking wind in public cos I found this sign.

0:06:33 > 0:06:34LAUGHTER

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Since the smoking ban, I'm all for this kind of thing.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48Unfortunately, the word "fart" means speed,

0:06:48 > 0:06:52and so this is a speed restriction area.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54But, also, rather pleasingly,

0:06:54 > 0:06:56the word for timetable is "fartplan."

0:06:59 > 0:07:03Oh, I've needed one of those for years.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05A proper fartplan.

0:07:05 > 0:07:09Daily fartplan. Where you are, who you're with...

0:07:10 > 0:07:13So, Denmark does lead the world in many, many things.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16What is the main thing is that it leads the world in?

0:07:16 > 0:07:19- Fairytales.- Oh, that would be nice. Although they are quite miserable.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Actually, the real Hans Christian Andersen stories

0:07:22 > 0:07:24- are quite sort of dark. - Sawing their feet off.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26- JASON:- There is an obsession with...

0:07:26 > 0:07:29I've noticed this with watching the kids' programmes,

0:07:29 > 0:07:33the Disney films and stuff. There is an obsession with dead parents.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35And it comes from that Hans Christian Andersen.

0:07:35 > 0:07:39I don't know why it is, but one or both of them are either dead already

0:07:39 > 0:07:42or killed within the film at some point.

0:07:42 > 0:07:43OK, so, heading for parenting,

0:07:43 > 0:07:45I'm going to try to get us to the answer, it isn't

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Hans Christian Andersen we're looking for...

0:07:47 > 0:07:50- What was the question? - I'm looking for...

0:07:50 > 0:07:54- what Denmark leads the world in. - Parenting!

0:07:54 > 0:07:57I saw a lovely Danish sofa on eBay.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59LAUGHTER

0:08:00 > 0:08:03- Is it...- No.- ..sofas? - Childbirth!

0:08:05 > 0:08:08Also, I thought you said "surfer," so, for a brief moment...

0:08:08 > 0:08:12I'm trying to think of a Dane surfing.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Is it something to do with childbirth?

0:08:14 > 0:08:16- It's something exported from Denmark.- Babies.

0:08:16 > 0:08:20- It's to do with childbirth. - Umbilical cords. Stem cells.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23The audience is going to start screaming in a minute.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26And the word they're going to start screaming

0:08:26 > 0:08:29is "sperm." It is the world's...

0:08:29 > 0:08:30LAUGHTER

0:08:32 > 0:08:34They are the world's largest exporter of human sperm, and,

0:08:34 > 0:08:37certainly in the UK, due to a shortage of home-grown donors,

0:08:37 > 0:08:41and also because the laws mean you can't be anonymous in the UK,

0:08:41 > 0:08:45about a third of the total used by fertility clinics

0:08:45 > 0:08:46is Viking sperm.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50Why have they got so...? Is it because it's dark like 20 hours...?

0:08:52 > 0:08:54It doesn't get dark in Denmark like that.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57How do you cope with having one and a half hours' daylight?

0:08:57 > 0:08:59- It doesn't happen! - It doesn't happen!

0:08:59 > 0:09:03Denmark's the same as Scotland, where you come from!

0:09:03 > 0:09:05LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:09:11 > 0:09:15It's up in the Arctic Circle, way, way further.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18A Danish winter is about one and a half hours' daylight.

0:09:18 > 0:09:23- It is not, darling, no.- You keep saying the same thing! It's wrong!

0:09:23 > 0:09:27It's not, it's true. I've been there. An hour and a half.

0:09:27 > 0:09:28LAUGHTER

0:09:30 > 0:09:33Here's the thing. If that's not true, and the more you say it,

0:09:33 > 0:09:37- the more points I'm going to make it not true for you.- All right.

0:09:37 > 0:09:38When I went to Denmark...

0:09:38 > 0:09:41- JASON:- Was it night-time? - RHOD:- It was winter.

0:09:41 > 0:09:42LAUGHTER

0:09:44 > 0:09:47APPLAUSE

0:09:47 > 0:09:51This is it, Rhod. You come home late, you've slept through the day.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54I did it as a teenager. And you wake up at five in the afternoon.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57You don't see the daylight. You're like a ghost.

0:09:57 > 0:09:59THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

0:09:59 > 0:10:03It was dark for 20-odd hours per day in winter.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05But your inability to distinguish the Scandinavian countries

0:10:05 > 0:10:08means it's possible you were in Norway.

0:10:08 > 0:10:09LAUGHTER

0:10:09 > 0:10:11That is possible.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13It is possible that I was in one of the other countries.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17- But is it not true? It's about an hour and a half...- Stop saying it!

0:10:17 > 0:10:18LAUGHTER

0:10:18 > 0:10:21It took me nine years to grow a tomato there.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24There's no trees in China.

0:10:24 > 0:10:28There you are, it's exactly the same. The largest exporter of sperm.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31Also the largest exporter of wind turbines, grass seed,

0:10:31 > 0:10:33the world's largest producer of insulin,

0:10:33 > 0:10:36and the world's most popular toy, of course,

0:10:36 > 0:10:39- the interlocking brick, as we shall call it.- Yes.

0:10:39 > 0:10:43The mermaid, which is the symbol of Denmark, it's a rather sad story.

0:10:43 > 0:10:48- She's had her head decapitated. Twice.- She looks good for it.

0:10:48 > 0:10:49She looks good, doesn't she?

0:10:49 > 0:10:52Twice somebody's cut her head off and swum off with it cos

0:10:52 > 0:10:55she's out in the harbour. Her arm has been cut off.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57- Is it the same person each time? - JASON:- Collecting a mermaid.

0:10:57 > 0:11:01There was once somebody swam out and put a dildo in her hand.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03LAUGHTER

0:11:03 > 0:11:05What's wrong with people?

0:11:05 > 0:11:07- RHOD:- Only 90 minutes daylight. - I know!

0:11:10 > 0:11:12It's a wonder they could see her, frankly.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Anybody know what we use pretty much every single day

0:11:17 > 0:11:21- in the modern world which comes also from Denmark?- Fish?

0:11:21 > 0:11:22It's a modern thing.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26- A modern thing that everybody uses every single day.- A tin opener?

0:11:26 > 0:11:30A tin opener is the most modern device that...

0:11:30 > 0:11:31LAUGHTER

0:11:33 > 0:11:37- The electric tin opener. - It's Bluetooth.- Oh, of course.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Bluetooth comes from Denmark. And that is the symbol for Bluetooth.

0:11:40 > 0:11:45And it represents the runes of H and B, which is Harald Bluetooth,

0:11:45 > 0:11:47who was a king of Denmark.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50And he was the king who unified the Scandinavian countries and

0:11:50 > 0:11:53when Bluetooth was invented, because it unified the way we communicate

0:11:53 > 0:11:56together, the symbol for Harald Bluetooth, the king of Denmark...

0:11:56 > 0:11:59- Was he always talking to himself? - Constantly. It was relentless.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01"Harald, you talking to me?"

0:12:01 > 0:12:04"I'm on the phone, mate. I'm on the phone." "Sorry, Harald."

0:12:04 > 0:12:06You mentioned Denmark,

0:12:06 > 0:12:09world's happiest country in the latest happiness report,

0:12:09 > 0:12:12followed by Switzerland, Iceland, Norway and Finland.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14UK? 23rd.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Just behind Mexico and Singapore, those...

0:12:17 > 0:12:19happy places.

0:12:21 > 0:12:26OK! Enough about Denmark. I never thought I'd say that.

0:12:26 > 0:12:30What's moving towards Russia at 35 miles per year?

0:12:30 > 0:12:31Denmark.

0:12:33 > 0:12:36- Must be.- You're definitely going to win. Definitely going to win.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38Is it the London to Moscow Megabus?

0:12:40 > 0:12:44- Is it America?- Is it America? No. But it is a sort of a thing.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48- North Pole. We're looking at Ns. - It is. We are looking at Ns.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50- Which North Pole?- The north one.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55- The south one.- It is, absolutely right. Alan is exactly right.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58- It is the magnetic North Pole. - Sandi, you're not going to give him

0:12:58 > 0:13:00- a point on the back of my... that, are you?- Do you know...

0:13:00 > 0:13:02- How does that work? - All I can say to you, Rhod,

0:13:02 > 0:13:05whatever happens through the whole of the rest of the show,

0:13:05 > 0:13:06you're not going to win.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08LAUGHTER

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Every time you said it's about an hour and a half of daylight,

0:13:15 > 0:13:18- you lost ten points.- Seriously, you're going to be so behind,

0:13:18 > 0:13:22it's going to be a new QI score low.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25You wait till the BBC Diversity Department hears about this.

0:13:27 > 0:13:30We've already had our quota of Scots. We're fine.

0:13:32 > 0:13:35You're absolutely right, Alan. It is the magnetic North Pole.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38So, that's best described as the place to which compasses point.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41It was in northern Canada until 2015.

0:13:41 > 0:13:46It is slowly moving towards Russia at about 35mph. It's currently in...

0:13:46 > 0:13:49- 35mph now?- 35 miles a year.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52- JASON:- It's in the back of someone's car.

0:13:54 > 0:13:56It's in the back of a Skoda.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59Someone's got a little mermaid in one hand,

0:13:59 > 0:14:01and the North Pole on the other.

0:14:03 > 0:14:09The magnetic North Pole is moving imperceptibly slowly towards Russia,

0:14:09 > 0:14:11along with fashion, democracy, and gay rights.

0:14:13 > 0:14:17Do you know the one about the Dane and the Canadian arguing about

0:14:17 > 0:14:18a rock and a hard place?

0:14:18 > 0:14:21The Dane is Hamlet and the Canadian's Celine Dion,

0:14:21 > 0:14:25- have they fallen out, have they? - No, it's an actual place.

0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Think about a Danish dependent territory...- Greenland.- Greenland.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31- So...- Close to Canada.- Yup.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34So, the Nares Strait is the bit that passes between the Danish

0:14:34 > 0:14:38dependent territory of Greenland and Canada's Ellsmere Island.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41And the border of the two countries passes down the centre

0:14:41 > 0:14:45of the strait and right through a barren rock called Hans Island,

0:14:45 > 0:14:49named after a great Inuit explorer called Hans Hendrik.

0:14:49 > 0:14:52- Hans Christian Island.- It should have been. This is...

0:14:52 > 0:14:55There it is. It's gorgeous, isn't it?

0:14:55 > 0:14:56It's really lovely,

0:14:56 > 0:14:59but it's the most civilised conflict in the world.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01What they do is they both agree first of all to inform each other

0:15:01 > 0:15:04if they're going to visit. Which is quite nice.

0:15:04 > 0:15:08When the Danish military go there, they leave a bottle of schnapps.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11When the Canadian military forces go, they leave a bottle

0:15:11 > 0:15:15of Canadian Club, and a sign that says "Welcome To Canada."

0:15:15 > 0:15:17LAUGHTER

0:15:17 > 0:15:20Which I think is positively inflammatory.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25There is some talk of the two countries running it as

0:15:25 > 0:15:29- a park together. I don't know why you'd want to visit, but...- Swings?

0:15:29 > 0:15:33- Swings, and a roundabout. - Just a load of hammered soldiers.

0:15:33 > 0:15:35"Wahey!"

0:15:37 > 0:15:40The Danes don't like to be too belligerent, and there's

0:15:40 > 0:15:43another lovely example of Danish belligerence - the protest pig.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46This was very popular in the late 19th century.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48So, the Prussian forces had invaded southern Denmark.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52They banned all Danish symbols, and the pigs were bred so that their

0:15:52 > 0:15:55white markings and their ruddy colour imitated the Danish flag.

0:15:55 > 0:15:59They were known as protest pigs. Isn't that sweet?

0:15:59 > 0:16:00They're very polite people.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03In Denmark, it's illegal to desecrate foreign flags,

0:16:03 > 0:16:05but you can help yourself in burning your own.

0:16:07 > 0:16:11Now, we move south a little to another north place.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14What do the North Koreans do better than anyone?

0:16:16 > 0:16:18Is it...

0:16:18 > 0:16:21using only a pudding bowl and a Stanley knife?

0:16:21 > 0:16:23LAUGHTER

0:16:25 > 0:16:28Are you going for haircuts? Is that it?

0:16:28 > 0:16:31Yeah, they do create a haircut that is simultaneously hilarious

0:16:31 > 0:16:35- and terrifying.- Looking at that picture, I would say it's solemnity.

0:16:35 > 0:16:39It does look like solemnity but, no, it's not that.

0:16:39 > 0:16:43"WHERE'S MY GLOVE? WHERE IS MY GLOVE?

0:16:43 > 0:16:44"I WILL NOT...

0:16:46 > 0:16:48"..LEAVE HERE TILL MY GLOVE IS RETURNED!"

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Then he turns and he goes, "There is no missing glove.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55"My glove is at home. Bwa-ha-ha!"

0:16:56 > 0:16:59I love the idea of being a dictator for comedic effect.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01LAUGHTER

0:17:01 > 0:17:03He always looks like a sort of cross between

0:17:03 > 0:17:06a Bond villain and Augustus Gloop.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10If you upset him, you don't know if he's going to destroy the world

0:17:10 > 0:17:13or just refuse to give you one of his gobstoppers.

0:17:14 > 0:17:18But the thing they do best is that they make a fake something or other.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21I imagine they make fake munitions to make it look like they've

0:17:21 > 0:17:22got more Army than they have.

0:17:22 > 0:17:26It is fake US dollars. They make them better than anybody.

0:17:26 > 0:17:28They're known as super dollars due to their superb quality.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31Some people say they're better than the originals.

0:17:31 > 0:17:32LAUGHTER

0:17:32 > 0:17:35And it took some very sophisticated forensic analysis to confirm...

0:17:35 > 0:17:38- They do sort of swell out in the middle, though.- Yeah, that's true.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40LAUGHTER

0:17:40 > 0:17:42It's not the only contraband.

0:17:42 > 0:17:47Its methamphetamine is supposed to be of extraordinary high purity.

0:17:47 > 0:17:51And it's counterfeit Viagra is rumoured to exceed the bone fide.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53Can you say that, "bona fide?"

0:17:53 > 0:17:54LAUGHTER

0:17:59 > 0:18:03You have to say it like this, "BONA fide."

0:18:05 > 0:18:08And the other fantastically successful North Korean export -

0:18:08 > 0:18:09this is fantastic, I love this -

0:18:09 > 0:18:12it's giant statues of African dictators.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14They make them better than anybody.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16LAUGHTER

0:18:16 > 0:18:21Isn't that brilliant? It's the Mansudae Art Studio Gallery.

0:18:21 > 0:18:24And the work they've made, they've made statues for Angola, for Benin,

0:18:24 > 0:18:27Chad, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Equatorial Guinea,

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Ethiopia, Togo.

0:18:29 > 0:18:33They seem to have a common theme of the leaders all hailing a taxi.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36- That seems to be a thing.- They're all playing "Where's My Glove?"

0:18:37 > 0:18:42"I'M NOT LEAVING... UNTIL THE GLOVE IS RETURNED!"

0:18:44 > 0:18:49From North Korea to North America, what can you see here?

0:18:49 > 0:18:51What do you think this is?

0:18:51 > 0:18:54- That's New York.- It is New York.

0:18:54 > 0:18:58- It's Niagara Falls without any water on it.- You are absolutely right.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00That is exactly what it is.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02APPLAUSE

0:19:06 > 0:19:09- What gave it away for you? - The viewing tower.

0:19:09 > 0:19:13What is incredible about it, this is a photograph from June, 1969.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16And the water at Niagara Falls normally goes over three falls.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19It goes over the American, the Bridal Veil, and the Horseshoe.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22And the American Falls had loads of debris at the bottom,

0:19:22 > 0:19:23which you can see there.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25It's known as talus, from the Latin for ankle,

0:19:25 > 0:19:27because it's thicker at the bottom.

0:19:27 > 0:19:31And all that debris was swirling and causing erosion of the falls.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33So plans were to temporarily divert the water away

0:19:33 > 0:19:36from the American Falls and over the Horseshoe,

0:19:36 > 0:19:39and dry out the American so it could be cleaned.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42It is the most extraordinary picture. The construction company,

0:19:42 > 0:19:44the Albert Elia Construction Company, they built a temporary dam

0:19:44 > 0:19:48in just three days out of 28,000 tonnes of earth.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51And the tourists flocked to see the dry American Falls

0:19:51 > 0:19:54and the, of course, much stronger than usual Horseshoe Falls.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57And lots of coins were recovered, and two bodies.

0:19:59 > 0:20:03- JASON:- Were they both in barrels? - One came out and went, "Thank God!"

0:20:04 > 0:20:05I found his glove!

0:20:07 > 0:20:10There's a wonderful waterfall in the city of St John

0:20:10 > 0:20:13in New Brunswick in Canada where the waterfall flows upwards.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15It's the most astonishing thing.

0:20:15 > 0:20:19Twice a day, the tide in the bay rises 28ft 6in,

0:20:19 > 0:20:22to the point that it overtops the waterfall over which

0:20:22 > 0:20:25the St John River normally flows, and the river flows backwards.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28- Wow.- Isn't that amazing? - We've learnt so much, haven't we?

0:20:28 > 0:20:30LAUGHTER

0:20:32 > 0:20:35Niagara Falls got its first real really good clean

0:20:35 > 0:20:40in the summer of '69. And, now, another dirty northern secret.

0:20:40 > 0:20:45What's the worst disaster that doggers ever experienced?

0:20:47 > 0:20:48Child locks.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50LAUGHTER

0:20:51 > 0:20:54When you have to wait for somebody to get out and let you out.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59It's like the walk of shame, but you're just lying there.

0:20:59 > 0:21:02- I assume, I assume.- It's not that. - Are you looking for an N?

0:21:02 > 0:21:07- Is the answer an N?- It is a place in an N, if that is of assistance.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09- Is it Dogger Bank? - It is to do with Dogger Bay.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12It isn't to do with dogging. It is indeed to do with Dogger Bank.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14I was going to say a nipple trapped in an air vent.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16LAUGHTER

0:21:17 > 0:21:21- JASON:- I imagine window wipers are a nightmare.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23They're not in the car, though, are they?

0:21:23 > 0:21:26Yeah, but there's people watching.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29- How close do they get?- It depends.

0:21:32 > 0:21:35"Back off! You're supposed to be at the other side of the car park...

0:21:37 > 0:21:39"..casually!"

0:21:39 > 0:21:42OK, it's nothing to do with dogging.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44- JASON:- You shouldn't have put the car up, then!

0:21:44 > 0:21:47- RHOD:- Why did you put a picture of some doggers up there in a car?

0:21:47 > 0:21:50That is people on their way to the North Sea to see

0:21:50 > 0:21:53where Doggerland used to be,

0:21:53 > 0:21:56which is the worst-named amusement park of all time.

0:21:57 > 0:22:01It was an area of land which attached Britain to mainland Europe

0:22:01 > 0:22:03between East Anglia and the Netherlands.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05And it was populated by prehistoric humans.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09It very slowly flooded by rising sea levels until, eventually,

0:22:09 > 0:22:11it was deluged by a tsunami triggered by

0:22:11 > 0:22:14a massive undersea landslide in Norway in 6000 BC.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17So, it now lies under the North Sea.

0:22:17 > 0:22:21- Don't be offended, but you lost me a bit there.- OK, so...

0:22:21 > 0:22:22It's attached to Britain.

0:22:22 > 0:22:27Then there was a tsunami, an ice age, a volcano...

0:22:27 > 0:22:288,000 years ago...

0:22:28 > 0:22:31- Oh, I'm with you, yeah. - There was a bit of land.- Yup.

0:22:31 > 0:22:35- And then there was a flood.- Right. - And now it's not there any more.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37LAUGHTER

0:22:38 > 0:22:42That was clear. Was it clear? That was clear.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46All this talk of the north brings us to the arctic wastelands

0:22:46 > 0:22:47of general ignorance.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50So, fingers on buzzers, please.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52# Wah! Wah! #

0:22:52 > 0:22:53LAUGHTER

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Very, very sensitive.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05As, indeed, are my ears.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10Now, we all know where this comes from, don't we?

0:23:10 > 0:23:13# It's oh so quiet... #

0:23:13 > 0:23:14Jason.

0:23:14 > 0:23:15Japan.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17ALARM BLARES

0:23:19 > 0:23:22- It's got to be done, it's got to be done.- So, here's the thing.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25In the 1970s, Japan didn't import fish,

0:23:25 > 0:23:28and salmon was not on any sashimi menu.

0:23:28 > 0:23:32And, I love this, in the early '80s, there was a seafood delegation

0:23:32 > 0:23:34from Norway -

0:23:34 > 0:23:37totally different place to Denmark...

0:23:37 > 0:23:38LAUGHTER

0:23:38 > 0:23:40And they began a thing called Project Japan

0:23:40 > 0:23:43and they wanted to sell Norwegian salmon to the country,

0:23:43 > 0:23:46and, these days, Norwegian salmon is the sashimi fish of choice.

0:23:46 > 0:23:49Can I just ask, do you know those salmon in that waterfall that

0:23:49 > 0:23:52goes backwards, what do they do there, then?

0:23:52 > 0:23:54LAUGHTER

0:23:54 > 0:23:57Do they dive down, then, or do they...

0:23:57 > 0:24:00Or do they go up but reverse up?

0:24:04 > 0:24:08- It's a fair point, I think you'll... - It's going to keep me awake.

0:24:10 > 0:24:15Supplementary question - in Japanese cuisine, the milt, so, M-I-L-T,

0:24:15 > 0:24:18the milt of some fish is a delicacy. Does anyone know what it is?

0:24:18 > 0:24:21- It's the leather trousers. - It's the leather trousers?

0:24:21 > 0:24:23A milt is a mum in leather trousers.

0:24:23 > 0:24:26LAUGHTER

0:24:26 > 0:24:27APPLAUSE

0:24:32 > 0:24:34- I think that's a Roger McGough. - No, it's something in the trousers.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37- Something in the trousers?- Something in the trousers, as it were.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39They don't wear trousers, but if they did,

0:24:39 > 0:24:40it would be in the trousers.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43If a fish wore trousers, it'd be in the fish's trousers?

0:24:43 > 0:24:45It would be in a boy's fish's trousers.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49Someone shouted out sperm again. It can't be sperm every time, you know.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51- It is sperm.- It is sperm!

0:24:51 > 0:24:52LAUGHTER

0:24:54 > 0:24:58The correct name for fish sperm is milt, OK? Molluscs have it, too.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02- And they spray it on the roe. That's pretty much how it works.- Why?

0:25:02 > 0:25:05Japanese salmon sashimi actually comes from Norway.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07What's the one untrue thing

0:25:07 > 0:25:10that everyone in Norway believes about lemmings?

0:25:10 > 0:25:12That they're Danish. No, that they...

0:25:12 > 0:25:14LAUGHTER

0:25:14 > 0:25:17That they throw themselves off things in a kind of, you know,

0:25:17 > 0:25:19anthropomorphised suicide leap.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21ALARM BLARES

0:25:21 > 0:25:25- Is that good enough? - It's not been a good show for you.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29No, in fact, in the very first episode ever of QI,

0:25:29 > 0:25:33it was talked about the fact that lemmings do not commit suicide.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35No, but, hang on, wasn't the question what was the one thing...

0:25:35 > 0:25:38- I was expecting to be... - Yes, but it is the most common...

0:25:38 > 0:25:40- It is a double bluff.- It was.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42It isn't the most common myth about them in Norway.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45No, the most common myth in Norway is that lemmings are really angry

0:25:45 > 0:25:50- they don't look it - and they get so stressed that they burst.

0:25:50 > 0:25:51LAUGHTER

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Wow!

0:25:53 > 0:25:57And parents will tell children not to chase after lemmings

0:25:57 > 0:26:02- in case they explode.- I love that!

0:26:02 > 0:26:06I love a parent just lying to children. It's brilliant.

0:26:06 > 0:26:07The myth seems to have come about

0:26:07 > 0:26:10because lemmings get very aggressive if approached.

0:26:10 > 0:26:11They shriek and jump about.

0:26:11 > 0:26:15And there's an old saying in Norway, "As angry as a lemming."

0:26:15 > 0:26:16Wow.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18Finally, we go north of the border.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21What's the main source of sugar for the people of Scotland?

0:26:22 > 0:26:24# So still... #

0:26:24 > 0:26:26- Rhod.- I know it's going to go "bring"

0:26:26 > 0:26:27and you're going to laugh at me,

0:26:27 > 0:26:29but deep-fried Mars bars, somebody's got to say it.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31ALARM BLARES, LAUGHTER

0:26:35 > 0:26:36The things I do!

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Is it edible bagpipes?

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Liquorice bagpipes?

0:26:42 > 0:26:44They do look like they're made of liquorice, don't they?

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Something surprising, Lucy, that...

0:26:46 > 0:26:50I mean, sperm has been the running theme, hasn't it, but...

0:26:50 > 0:26:53LAUGHTER

0:26:53 > 0:26:55APPLAUSE

0:26:59 > 0:27:01It's not their main source of sugar.

0:27:03 > 0:27:05- In Scotland?- In Scotland, yes.

0:27:05 > 0:27:09Other places, maybe sperm is the very thing...

0:27:09 > 0:27:10It is fruit.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12- Oh.- Oh.

0:27:12 > 0:27:16Unexpectedly, they did a study in 2015, and they found that

0:27:16 > 0:27:19the single biggest source of sugar in the Scottish diet is fruit.

0:27:19 > 0:27:2412.3%. I'm not saying that the Scottish diet is all that

0:27:24 > 0:27:28healthy because soft drinks came second. And confectionery third.

0:27:28 > 0:27:30Then biscuits, then cakes.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35Intriguingly, 65% of the Scottish population are either

0:27:35 > 0:27:37overweight or obese.

0:27:37 > 0:27:38Well, you'd know, Rhod.

0:27:42 > 0:27:47Scotland's sugar hit of choice is a healthy portion of fruit.

0:27:47 > 0:27:48Deep-fried.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52All of which healthy eating brings us to the fruity matter of

0:27:52 > 0:27:56- the scores. And let's have a look. - Oh, boy.- Starting with the winner.

0:27:56 > 0:28:00I'm going to tell you that the winner with 12 points is Alan!

0:28:00 > 0:28:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:07 > 0:28:10In second place with two points, it's Lucy!

0:28:10 > 0:28:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:13 > 0:28:17In third place, -16, it's Jason!

0:28:17 > 0:28:19APPLAUSE

0:28:21 > 0:28:23Can't even remember the name of the man who came fourth.

0:28:23 > 0:28:26He's gone from my mind. With -22, it's Rhod!

0:28:26 > 0:28:28APPLAUSE

0:28:35 > 0:28:40Well, that's all from Lucy, Rhod, Jason, Alan and me.

0:28:40 > 0:28:42I've enjoyed our time in the north,

0:28:42 > 0:28:46and I leave you with this from the Danish mathematician, Piet Hein.

0:28:46 > 0:28:48It's in the glove area, this one.

0:28:48 > 0:28:52"Losing one glove is certainly painful but nothing compared

0:28:52 > 0:28:54"to the pain of losing one,

0:28:54 > 0:28:57"throwing away the other, and finding the first one again."

0:28:57 > 0:28:58Goodnight.