0:00:26 > 0:00:30This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32APPLAUSE
0:00:32 > 0:00:36Oh! Too kind.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Hello, and welcome to QI.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45Tonight's show is like a nightmare neighbour, nosey and noisy.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Please make some noise
0:00:47 > 0:00:50for someone with a nose for the truth, Aisling Bea.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52APPLAUSE
0:00:57 > 0:01:01A nose for a bargain, Ross Noble.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03APPLAUSE
0:01:05 > 0:01:07And a nose for a good story,
0:01:07 > 0:01:10it's Slipknot frontman, it's Corey Taylor.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13APPLAUSE
0:01:17 > 0:01:21And a nose for trouble, Alan Davies.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24APPLAUSE
0:01:27 > 0:01:30And they've all brought along their favourite noises.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32So Aisling goes...
0:01:32 > 0:01:36BABY GIGGLES Ah!
0:01:36 > 0:01:40- Have you got children, Aisling? - No, no!
0:01:40 > 0:01:43You'll go off that noise, I'm just saying!
0:01:43 > 0:01:47It's the loveliest noise. There's nothing nicer than the sound of a giggling baby,
0:01:47 > 0:01:51other than at night-time, if you don't know where it is.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Yeah, maybe parenting's not for you.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Ross goes...
0:01:59 > 0:02:03CHILD'S VOICE: I hate rakes!
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- BOY'S VOICE:- I am Mola Ram!
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Who are those annoying children? - Those are my children!
0:02:08 > 0:02:12They... And obviously, everyone says, you know,
0:02:12 > 0:02:14children laughing is the best thing ever.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19- I think even better than that is your own children acting out scenes from Indiana Jones.- Yeah.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23So my little one can't say esses, so instead of saying, "I hate snakes,"
0:02:23 > 0:02:25she says, "I hate rakes."
0:02:25 > 0:02:30- So listen again. - CHILD:- I hate rakes.- Aww!
0:02:30 > 0:02:33And that was the oldest one going, "I am Mola Ram!"
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Right. Let's have a listen, Corey goes...
0:02:37 > 0:02:41HEAVY METAL MUSIC
0:02:44 > 0:02:45- AISLING:- I love One Direction!
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Yeah.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53APPLAUSE
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Is that your own track?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56- That is... - Don't tell me, let me guess.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00- OK.- Was that Psychosocial? - No.- Oh.- Close though.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02That's the only one I know.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06- This one is Psychosocial. - That Psychosocial, yeah.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Wow!
0:03:08 > 0:03:11I'm the cute one.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Him. No. Him!
0:03:15 > 0:03:16APPLAUSE
0:03:22 > 0:03:25We haven't even got on the questions yet. Alan goes...
0:03:25 > 0:03:27SIRENS BLARE
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- A favourite sound, or just familiar? - Very familiar.- Just familiar.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37And let's start with a noisy question.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40I want to hear the loudest thing anyone's ever shouted.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43- It's got to be something at their kids.- OK, yes. In fact, you're in the right...
0:03:43 > 0:03:46SHUT THE FUCK UP!
0:03:46 > 0:03:49So if you could do that in a more BBC Two way...
0:03:49 > 0:03:52LAUGHTER
0:03:52 > 0:03:56I'll do my best. Sshhhhhh!
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Is it yodelling?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02No, but yodelling is my Achilles heel.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05I could be on my deathbed, full of depression,
0:04:05 > 0:04:07and somebody yodelled, I would laugh. I just...
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Is it a human doing it?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13It is a human doing, this. It is, but he's in the right area.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17It is a word for shush, it is the loudest word that's ever been shouted.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19It's in the Guinness world records.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23- It's got to be something like quiet. - It is quiet. Absolutely right. It's the loudest word ever spoken.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29There's a photo of it being done.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Well, this is her. She's a Belfast primary school teacher.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38"Quiet!"
0:04:38 > 0:04:41She's called Anneliese Flanagan. I think she mostly uses
0:04:41 > 0:04:43her rather impressive voice on the hockey pitch.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48But in 1994 she entered a shouting competition and her world record has
0:04:48 > 0:04:50remained unbroken for 22 years.
0:04:50 > 0:04:55She logged 121 decibels, which is exactly the same as a chainsaw.
0:04:57 > 0:05:02That's quite loud. Yeah. Our shows top out at, like, 109.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04- And those are quite loud. - So 121 is stupid!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07She's...
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Louder than Slipknot, that's a good title.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- BELFAST ACCENT:- Do not make me get louder than Slipknot!
0:05:18 > 0:05:22It is good to know that if you're at a slipknot gig and there is
0:05:22 > 0:05:25a Northern Irish primary school teacher...
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- BELFAST ACCENT:- Turn it down, lads.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31She's 32 times as loud as a vacuum cleaner.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Which is a sort of weird thing to know about yourself.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38And she can shout twice as loud as the human pain threshold.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Now, is anybody here a loud burper?
0:05:40 > 0:05:42That's the other thing that there is a record for.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45No, I'd need some fizzy pop.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48- SANDI BURPS - Oh, Sandi!
0:05:48 > 0:05:50That's it. I sound like a frog with asthma.
0:05:50 > 0:05:56That is something I never thought I would see.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58If you start lighting your farts...!
0:06:00 > 0:06:02That's unbelievable.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05I see you've missed one of the shows!
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Can you imagine if this is just Ross Noble's dream, Slipknot are on QI,
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Sandi gets out, she's hosting now.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14She burps and then she lights her fart.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16- ROSS:- Is this actually happening?
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Well, the world's two loudest burpers,
0:06:19 > 0:06:22and I like that has gone down to two, are currently locked in a duel...
0:06:24 > 0:06:27The record was set by a man from Essex, surprisingly.
0:06:27 > 0:06:32He is there on the right. That's Paul Hunn, 109.9 decibels.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- No way!- That was in February.
0:06:34 > 0:06:39Immediately it was broken by Neville Sharp, who comes from a town I want to go to in Australia
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- called Humptydoo.- Humptydoo? - Have you been to Humptydoo?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Yes. I've been to Humptydoo, yeah.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49- Have you?- Yeah, and it had that guy on the telly and they were going,
0:06:49 > 0:06:51"We've got the loudest burper..."
0:06:51 > 0:06:53And he was... You know, slow news day!
0:06:53 > 0:06:57And they went, "Do one for us now."
0:06:57 > 0:06:59But, like me, he needs to build up to it,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01and he couldn't perform!
0:07:01 > 0:07:06- Oh, no!- Everyone was going, "Oh, not sure if you are any good at it."
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Humptydoo though, it's the most Australian town I have never heard of in my life.
0:07:10 > 0:07:15Their biggest tourist attraction is a statue of a boxing crocodile.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23And they are famous for the Humptydoo virus, it's a virus for kangaroos,
0:07:23 > 0:07:24and it's named after Humptydoo.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27So anyway, Neville Sharp beat...
0:07:27 > 0:07:30This is the exciting battle between the two burpers.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34And the day after, Paul, from Essex, broke back.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37He broke back with 117.9.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41- Broke back?!- Well, he's got that wrong. That's the other end!
0:07:43 > 0:07:46He made a 117.9 decibel belch,
0:07:46 > 0:07:51which is apparently louder than a Deep Purple concert in 1972,
0:07:51 > 0:07:53which broke the record for the world's loudest band.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57And left the audience members unconscious.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59- They hold the Guinness world record. - Do they?
0:07:59 > 0:08:01It was in the books, yeah.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03So that became the goal for everybody.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05And then Motorhead broke that.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08And now, apparently, a man's throat has done the same.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10What the hell am I doing?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Would they not let you...
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Because all you've got to do is just turn it up.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18You would think.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20But you would be mistook.
0:08:20 > 0:08:27- Oh, why? I don't know.- I just thought it was fun to say that to him.- Oh, right!
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Anybody able to crack their finger knuckles?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32That's the other thing people can do very loudly.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35LOUD CRACKING
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- Watch this... - CRACKS JAW
0:08:40 > 0:08:43- She asked!- Were you hit by a car this afternoon?
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- Any other parts of you that you can make noises with?- Well...
0:08:50 > 0:08:53None for BBC Two!
0:08:53 > 0:08:56The loudest crack of finger knuckles is 83.2 decibels,
0:08:56 > 0:08:59so that's as loud as a food blender.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Can you do it? I can't do it at all.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05I just did a little one, and now it will be a couple of days.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08So that's the extraordinary thing, and we can just show you.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11This is an actual photograph. These are knuckles,
0:09:11 > 0:09:13not amniotic fluid. LOUD CRACK
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Isn't that incredible?
0:09:16 > 0:09:20And what it is, it's the bubbles of gas popping out of the fluid between
0:09:20 > 0:09:22your joints. You can't crack twice in succession,
0:09:22 > 0:09:25because you need time to build the gas back up again.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28But how funny would that be if you were, like, an ultrasound person
0:09:28 > 0:09:30and you just loaded that into the machine...
0:09:32 > 0:09:37The parents came and went, let's just have a look... ARGH!
0:09:37 > 0:09:41And then just run out of the room.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Now, I have some things for you. What can you do with these?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48I'm going to hand those out to you there.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- So...- These are, like, those smear test things?!
0:09:51 > 0:09:53BLOWS WHISTLE
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Oh, a duck. To get ducks.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57It is a kind of whistle.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00But it's not to be played with the mouth.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04AUDIENCE GROAN
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Oh! It's to be played with your nose.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10THEY ALL WHISTLE
0:10:14 > 0:10:18I'm guessing, is this for like paramedics who, if somebody,
0:10:18 > 0:10:22they're not sure if they're breathing or not, you just put that on their...
0:10:22 > 0:10:24They're still alive.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26It's called a nose flute.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30And the first patent for this was the Nasalette in 1892,
0:10:30 > 0:10:32and the theory was it left your hands...
0:10:32 > 0:10:35There it is. ..Your hands free to play other instruments.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38But this one doesn't. So I've got some knicker elastic.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44If you put that round your face and the thing.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49- AISLING:- Oh, can we all be in Slipknot now?
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Just breathe through your nose.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55CACOPHONY OF WHISTLES
0:11:04 > 0:11:08It has the look of a woman trying to unwrap toffee with her bottom.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Don't give them back!
0:11:14 > 0:11:16So, the nose flutes,
0:11:16 > 0:11:19they have been around the world long before this patented existed.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21They were played in Southeast Asia,
0:11:21 > 0:11:23in the Pacific Islands, in the Congo.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27In Fiji, couples used to use them to seduce each other.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30And apparently it was traditional to plug one nostril with tobacco
0:11:30 > 0:11:34and then play do the other nostril, and you get a hit of nicotine at the same time.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38A fantastic photograph in the 1909 copy of Tatler,
0:11:38 > 0:11:42which is a man in India playing the nose flute and the bagpipes simultaneously.
0:11:42 > 0:11:48He is described by one musicologist as a peak of woodwind virtuosity.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Yours is a double ended nose picker that you've got there, Alan.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55This was patented in 1998, and oddly,
0:11:55 > 0:11:59no-one has yet to manufacture them for general sale.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01So how many...
0:12:01 > 0:12:05AUDIENCE GROAN
0:12:05 > 0:12:08They did a study of nose picking in 2000...
0:12:09 > 0:12:13- Ever used something other than your own finger?- No.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16They did a study in 2001.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19They've got no hooking motion. You need a hooking motion.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- To be able to pull? - I've got nothing there.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26What I have noticed is there are some bogeys on there from a previous owner.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28There is a clean one.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I'll just go on the Tube like that.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Sit like that.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42"I'm just going to hospital."
0:12:45 > 0:12:46"How many stops...?"
0:12:46 > 0:12:48SCATTERED APPLAUSE
0:12:50 > 0:12:53That is the most feeble clap!
0:12:53 > 0:12:57There's half of you going, "I'm not clapping that."
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Can I just borrow two?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02I've got one that's more flaccid than the other.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05If you clap Ross's finger joke, I will be pissed off!
0:13:05 > 0:13:09I'm just thinking, for the lazy Slipknot fan.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16AUDIENCE CLAP AND CHEER
0:13:22 > 0:13:25That's for the lazy Slipknot fan too. You can always...
0:13:25 > 0:13:27There you go.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31So only 80% of teenagers use their fingers to pick their noses,
0:13:31 > 0:13:33what do the rest use?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- The end of a pencil?- Yes.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Pencils is one. Come on, we've all done it.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40A biro. A friend's finger?
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- A cotton bud? - No, it's nothing as nice as that.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47It's tweezers!
0:13:47 > 0:13:50What if it winds up there?
0:13:50 > 0:13:56What was weird was 11% do it for cosmetic reasons, 11% for pleasure...
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- Are you talking about the actual... - Yeah.
0:14:00 > 0:14:06Surely a Hoover would work better than tweezers.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Who'd put a Hoover up your nose?!
0:14:09 > 0:14:12It's an irresponsible remark!
0:14:12 > 0:14:15I'm sorry for what I said earlier about using a Hoover.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Please, teenagers, do not stick a Hoover to your nose.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21Here's a question that everyone is gagging to know the answer to...
0:14:21 > 0:14:24What noise does a frog on helium make?
0:14:24 > 0:14:25On helium?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- HIGH VOICE:- "Oh, I love you, Miss Piggy."
0:14:31 > 0:14:33COREY COUGHS
0:14:33 > 0:14:37You've got a frog in your throat!
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Corey, if you want a klaxon, I reckon if you did a high-pitched ribbit,
0:14:40 > 0:14:42- I reckon that would get one. - Try and say ribbit.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43- HIGH VOICE:- Ribbit!
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Yes!
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I might need a tissue.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59It's rare you see so much pleasure at failure.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03- It's so good. - I reckon nobody knows.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Because as soon as you fill them with helium, that expands...
0:15:06 > 0:15:08and they're off.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11"Help!"
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Hands like that.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18In 1993, scientists made three different species of frog inhale helium.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Clearly, party's not gone that well, nobody's turned up...
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Scientists with poor sexual skills, I'm going to guess.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- We've finished, but we can't leave until five!- Yes.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Anything you always wanted to do?
0:15:32 > 0:15:35And it has no effect on frogs whatsoever.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39And the reason is that frogs don't use the resonance of the air
0:15:39 > 0:15:42inside the vocal tract to vocalise the way we do.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46They seem to create resonance by using their skin instead.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48And that is not affected by helium.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50OK. So, having that piece of information in your heads,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53what do you think would happen if you asked a dinosaur
0:15:53 > 0:15:55to suck on a party balloon?
0:15:57 > 0:16:00I think he'd be like, "I died thousands of years ago.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02"This is a dream."
0:16:03 > 0:16:04It would sound like...
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- CONSTRICTED VOICE:- I died thousands of years ago.
0:16:07 > 0:16:08This is a dream.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Actually, Corey, you would be right.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Because you can't try it out on dinosaurs,
0:16:13 > 0:16:17so in 2015 the same experiment was carried out on a Chinese alligator,
0:16:17 > 0:16:19which is as close as they could get, by Austrian scientists.
0:16:19 > 0:16:25And it turns out pumping helium into the tank of a Chinese alligator
0:16:25 > 0:16:28affects her voice as it does ours.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30So let's have a listen to before, and then straightaway,
0:16:30 > 0:16:31the after with the helium.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33RESONANT GRUNTS
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- It's lower? - Does it make it lower?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Well, the thing is, it just changes the timbre.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42What helium doesn't do, people think it makes your voice higher.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46It doesn't. Every voice, as you well know, is a mixed frequency.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49So all it does, is it causes some of those frequencies in humans,
0:16:49 > 0:16:50the higher ones, to be amplified.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52So we just hear them more.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54It doesn't actually make your voice any higher.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Apparently, because it's true of alligators,
0:16:56 > 0:16:59it must be true of dinosaurs because of the alligator being a descendant.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02That'll be a really bad, like, next Jurassic Park.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04- Like, the third one.- Yeah.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Now I'm going to give you the horn.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07OK.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10There's one each for you two.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12And I have here...
0:17:12 > 0:17:17And I want to know, what noise is that for?
0:17:17 > 0:17:21Is this going to be some sort of Latvian arse trumpet or something?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25And two points to Ross!
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Someone in the audience had an offer.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Does anybody know?
0:17:28 > 0:17:30- WOMAN:- Heartbeats.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32It is for a heartbeat, what kind of heartbeat?
0:17:32 > 0:17:33- AUDIENCE:- Foetal.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35It is still used.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36It is for the foetal heartbeat.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38It is called a Pinard horn, and to this day
0:17:38 > 0:17:40it is still used by midwives
0:17:40 > 0:17:42to listen for the foetal heartbeat.
0:17:42 > 0:17:47It was invented in 1895 by a French obstetrician called Adolf Pinard.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50And what is so fantastic is that they haven't improved on it.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51It's still used today.
0:17:51 > 0:17:56You can buy them on any website of foetal heartbeat...
0:17:56 > 0:17:58No, it's too late. He's dead.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06It's inspired by the original stethoscope.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Does anybody know why the original stethoscope was invented?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11For hearing things.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Yes.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Is it like an early Walkman,
0:18:15 > 0:18:17and you'd attach it to a chamber orchestra?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21And they'd run behind you... You'd have in on like that...
0:18:21 > 0:18:23"This is ridiculous.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25"I've been running. Oh, hang on."
0:18:25 > 0:18:29Was it so you could get through lady's garments, so they didn't have to disrobe?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31It is to do with embarrassment.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Dr Rene Laennec, he had to listen to women's chests.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36But he didn't want to put his ear too close.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- He was embarrassed. - Too awkward for everyone.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Too awkward, so 1816, he invented the stethoscope.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Conversation tubes, introduced in the 1600s,
0:18:43 > 0:18:44it was the same sort of awkwardness.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47A Puritan couple, so they could have a conversation,
0:18:47 > 0:18:48they could talk through a tube.
0:18:48 > 0:18:53Those were then used as the very first commercial hearing aids, about 1800.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Have a look at that. These ones are actually...
0:18:55 > 0:18:57This will work, will it?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59- If you speak...- Oh, Jesus!
0:18:59 > 0:19:01What's wrong with you?!
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Speak in it to yourself, then you can hear most clearly.
0:19:04 > 0:19:05I can just do that.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Hello, Ross. "Hello."
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Hello. Germany calling.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18The one on the picture, we actually have here.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20- This is...- The one in the picture.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21I can't look quite as cheerful.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25I can hear the sea.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Is that what you're supposed to...
0:19:29 > 0:19:32You know how people worry about what earrings to wear, those, I think,
0:19:32 > 0:19:34are working for you.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36You look like Mickey Mouse and Prince Charles had a child.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:19:43 > 0:19:44Thank you.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47This is extraordinary. This one is really extraordinary.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48You put that bit in your ear.
0:19:48 > 0:19:49Hello?
0:19:51 > 0:19:54I wonder will this, like, amplify between that and the...?
0:19:54 > 0:19:55Oh, no way!
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Just to get on the show again.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00You must be joking!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05This one is really extraordinary.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07It's been lent to us by Dr Laurie Slater,
0:20:07 > 0:20:09who's a GP who collects medical oddities.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11It is a silver ear trumpet.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12It was made in 1880,
0:20:12 > 0:20:17and it is possible it is actually Queen Victoria's hearing aid.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19It is possible.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22There is no direct evidence of this, but they are very rare. And this one is unique,
0:20:22 > 0:20:24so it is possible this is what Queen Victoria used to...
0:20:24 > 0:20:26The stories that could tell.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27I know.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29When you say it's possible, is that like,
0:20:29 > 0:20:32did like an ear wax expert lick it and go...
0:20:32 > 0:20:33"Queen Victoria."
0:20:35 > 0:20:36I think if you are an ear wax specialist,
0:20:36 > 0:20:38you probably don't lick.
0:20:38 > 0:20:39Just saying. I don't really know.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Right, speaking of ears.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I'm going to play you two recordings, OK?
0:20:43 > 0:20:46One is of hot water being poured into a bowl.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48And one is of cold water being poured into a bowl.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50I want you to tell me which is which.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51Here is the first one.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53WATER POURS
0:20:55 > 0:20:58And here is the second one.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59WATER POURS
0:21:00 > 0:21:02- So...- Sorry, I need a wee!
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- What do we think the first one is? Hot or cold?- Hot.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Hot.- Everybody hot?
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Yes, I'll go hot. I thought it was the first one.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15It sounded like emptying a kettle.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17The second one sounded like filling a kettle.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Oh! OK.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Ooh!
0:21:23 > 0:21:26What is this mocking me?!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Since Stephen left, they've just turned.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31They've gone,
0:21:31 > 0:21:33"No-one's taking the piss out of that idiot. It's up to us."
0:21:33 > 0:21:36LAUGHTER
0:21:36 > 0:21:38The second one sounded kind of crisp and cold.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40- I wanted a drink. - Let's have one more listen.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42This is the first one. Have a listen.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43WATER POURS
0:21:46 > 0:21:47And the second one...
0:21:47 > 0:21:48WATER POURS
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Can we just bear in mind, this is QI,
0:21:52 > 0:21:54so I've got a feeling that it might be somebody
0:21:54 > 0:21:56pouring soup onto a horse.
0:21:56 > 0:21:57LAUGHTER
0:22:00 > 0:22:01APPLAUSE
0:22:06 > 0:22:08I promise you, it's hot and cold water.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Hands up who thinks the first one is hot.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14And hands up who thinks the first one is cold.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18- Oh, that's weird.- So, it is about the right percentage.
0:22:18 > 0:22:2296% correctly, usually, identify the first one as hot.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Whoo!
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Yes!
0:22:25 > 0:22:27They do make different noises,
0:22:27 > 0:22:29because hot water is, kind of, slightly less sticky,
0:22:29 > 0:22:33is the thing of it, molecules in it have more energy from the heat,
0:22:33 > 0:22:35and so when hot water hits a hard surface,
0:22:35 > 0:22:37it breaks up into smaller particles
0:22:37 > 0:22:40and makes a higher pitched splashing noise than cold water.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42So... But now you'll know.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44- Yeah.- That's good.
0:22:44 > 0:22:45I'll be like, that was hot!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Next time you pour boiling water on yourself, you'll be like,
0:22:49 > 0:22:52"Is it hot... Oh, wait, the sound of it... Yes, I am, I'm burning."
0:22:54 > 0:22:56And now for the stuff that nobody knows.
0:22:56 > 0:22:57It's General Ignorance.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Fingers on buzzers, please.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Which of these weighs the same as a blue whale's heart?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- BOY'S VOICE:- 'I am Mola Ram.'
0:23:05 > 0:23:07- Ross.- I'm going to say the Beetle.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08KLAXON
0:23:12 > 0:23:15I have heard of the blue whale.
0:23:15 > 0:23:16People have...
0:23:18 > 0:23:21People have supplied me with many blue whale facts over the years.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24One of the blue whale facts that I've been told was that it...
0:23:24 > 0:23:28The heart is about the size of a Mini...
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Well, here's the extraordinary thing.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Nobody checked. Everybody thought it was the same size,
0:23:32 > 0:23:34and exactly the same weight as a Beetle,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36and when they checked, it turns out that, in fact,
0:23:36 > 0:23:38it weighs about the same as a male gorilla.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40It's about 28-and-a-half stone.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42But a lot lighter than a Beetle.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44It is about 22% of what a Beetle would weigh.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46There he is. Isn't it extraordinary?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Are they doing a transplant?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50They're going to put a Beetle in!
0:23:54 > 0:23:56MIMICS ENGINE
0:23:56 > 0:23:57It starts in all weathers.
0:23:59 > 0:24:00Right, fingers on buzzers.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04If I toot my horn and flash my lamps at exactly the same time,
0:24:04 > 0:24:07what is the first thing that you will notice?
0:24:07 > 0:24:08- BOY'S VOICE:- 'I am Mola Ram!'
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Oh, Ross, you're quick on the buzzer today.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11You've taken up dogging?
0:24:11 > 0:24:13LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Every girl needs a hobby.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Is it to do with how far away things are?
0:24:24 > 0:24:28- Yes, absolutely.- So if the car's a really long way away,
0:24:28 > 0:24:31the light will get to you before the sound of the horn does?
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Like a thunderstorm principle?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Yes. The brain has to process both.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37It's not enough for it to reach you.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38The brain has got to process it.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41It processes sound faster than it processes light.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44So, if you're close enough, then you'll hear the horn first.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47But as you get further away from the source, so for example,
0:24:47 > 0:24:48a plane in the sky,
0:24:48 > 0:24:51the difference between when the sound reaches you and when the light
0:24:51 > 0:24:54reaches your increases. Light travels faster than sound, and therefore...
0:24:54 > 0:24:56I wonder if that is an evolutionary thing,
0:24:56 > 0:25:01because things that are dangerous to humans make noises in the dark.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- Yeah.- So we prioritised the ears.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07I mean, our hearing is extraordinary
0:25:07 > 0:25:09because it can detect frequencies from 20 hertz to over 20,000.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Whereas the eye, the range is much, much smaller.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Not after your concerts, obviously.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- No, no.- Ears are great, aren't they, Sandi?
0:25:16 > 0:25:18I think that's a message for people back home today.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Ears, they're great.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25This is brought to you by the Ear Advisory Board.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Ears, don't knock 'em till you've tried 'em.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29What?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Which vitamin can stop you getting a runny nose?
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Don't let Ross win again! HEAVY METAL MUSIC
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Corey!
0:25:44 > 0:25:47- C?- C, yes.
0:25:47 > 0:25:48KLAXON
0:25:52 > 0:25:55People used to believe that vitamin C was the thing
0:25:55 > 0:25:57if you were trying to prevent colds, but it does nothing at all.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00There's hardly any evidence it even alleviates the symptoms.
0:26:00 > 0:26:01The one you want is the sunshine vitamin.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- D!- Absolutely right.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05That does prevent people getting colds in the first place,
0:26:05 > 0:26:08and reduces the incidence of flu.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Most people who take vitamins shouldn't bother,
0:26:11 > 0:26:13is the absolute truth of it.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14So, one vitamin C tablet contains
0:26:14 > 0:26:18ten times the recommended daily allowance of the vitamin,
0:26:18 > 0:26:21and you just don't really need it.
0:26:21 > 0:26:22You just wee it away.
0:26:22 > 0:26:28You just wee it away. So, if you put a duck in an echo chamber, what...
0:26:28 > 0:26:29LAUGHTER
0:26:31 > 0:26:33How are you going to play? What are you likely to hear?
0:26:33 > 0:26:35HEAVY METAL MUSIC
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Corey.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39It will become pregnant.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43I like how your mind works.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46It's possible I like everything about you, Corey.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48But no, it's not that.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51I know this only because Lee Mack has a show called
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Duck Quacks Don't Echo.
0:26:53 > 0:26:54And what's the answer?
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Ducks' quacks don't echo.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59KLAXON
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- APPLAUSE - Unbelievable.
0:27:03 > 0:27:08Do you know what, you're right, Lee Mack does have that show.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09And I thought that was a thing.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12We'll be finding out next that some mothers DON'T have 'em!
0:27:14 > 0:27:15Unbelievable!
0:27:15 > 0:27:19So, that isn't right, because ducks' quacks do echo,
0:27:19 > 0:27:22but in fact, most ducks don't quack at all.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24- What?- Yes!
0:27:24 > 0:27:26- This show, man!- Oh, my God.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31It's mainly just female mallards that make the quacking noise.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33What I like, is that other species,
0:27:33 > 0:27:35they whistle, they coo and they yodel.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:27:37 > 0:27:38Yes, they yodel.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40And some ducks are completely silent.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42They've nothing to say. Nothing.
0:27:42 > 0:27:46- Just complete silence.- What does a duck yodelling sound like?
0:27:46 > 0:27:49You can actually have a look on various popular websites
0:27:49 > 0:27:50and see ducks yodelling.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54Some of the worst Hank Williams tribute acts you'll ever see.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58So, that brings us to the matter of the scores.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00In last place with minus 9 points, it's Corey.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:06 > 0:28:09In third place, with minus 4, it's Ross.
0:28:09 > 0:28:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:15 > 0:28:18And in second place, with minus 2, it's Aisling.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:23 > 0:28:26And our runaway winner, with eight points, it's Alan!
0:28:26 > 0:28:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:38 > 0:28:41My thanks to Corey, Ross, Aisling and Alan for their interesting noises.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43And the last word on the subject
0:28:43 > 0:28:46goes to American comedian Stephen Wright.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48"I didn't get a toy train like the other kids.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50"I got a toy subway instead.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52"You couldn't see anything, but every now and then,
0:28:52 > 0:28:54"you'd hear this rumbling noise go by."
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Goodnight.