Episode 5

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09# I couldn't hear nobody pray

0:00:13 > 0:00:15# I couldn't hear nobody pray

0:00:15 > 0:00:16# (On the mountain)

0:00:16 > 0:00:18# I couldn't hear nobody pray

0:00:18 > 0:00:19# (In the valley)

0:00:19 > 0:00:22# I couldn't hear nobody pray. #

0:00:25 > 0:00:28The Bishop had wanted to see you in person -

0:00:28 > 0:00:31but he's away in Cape Town till next Tuesday,

0:00:31 > 0:00:35spreading the word, swimming with sharks,

0:00:35 > 0:00:37- so he's asked me to see you meanwhile.- A-ha.

0:00:37 > 0:00:38Well, I couldn't tell from your call

0:00:38 > 0:00:41whether this was going to be good news or bad news?

0:00:41 > 0:00:45Well, we've had a formal letter of complaint about your conduct.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47What? Who from?

0:00:48 > 0:00:51You're entitled to see a copy of the letter.

0:00:53 > 0:00:56Nigel McCall? Nigel. Stupid man. What's he complaining about?

0:00:56 > 0:00:58I don't let him do enough sermons?

0:00:58 > 0:01:01As you see, he accuses you of "an unprofessional relationship

0:01:01 > 0:01:03"with Eleanor Pattman, headteacher of St Saviour's...?"

0:01:03 > 0:01:04What?

0:01:04 > 0:01:07And of "conduct unbecoming for a minister"?

0:01:07 > 0:01:09There's also the specific accusation of a kiss.

0:01:11 > 0:01:12Well... ha.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15I don't know what to say to this. It's ridiculous. Obviously.

0:01:15 > 0:01:18You don't need to respond now. Go away and think about it.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22Then I will need you to send a formal written response to the Bishop.

0:01:22 > 0:01:27He will then decide whether there are grounds for an investigation or not.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31Not. You know this is nuts.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36Well, yes, of course, fine, I'll write a response.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38Good. I look forward to receiving it.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41So...it was bad news.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Will you pour that away for me?

0:01:54 > 0:01:55Morning.

0:01:57 > 0:01:58Lots to do today.

0:01:58 > 0:02:02Easter's coming and Father Winters would like to borrow

0:02:02 > 0:02:04the large Holy Week cross.

0:02:04 > 0:02:05Is it still in your shed?

0:02:05 > 0:02:06The Palm Sunday procession

0:02:06 > 0:02:10is starting from the Esso garage near him.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13And I'm keen to get the new reader's rota up.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Cup of tea? Would you like? I'm having one.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21No? Let me make you one.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24Don't you fucking dare.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29I can make tea, Adam. I can make you a tea.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32What makes you think you have the slightest idea

0:02:32 > 0:02:34of what my relationship with Ellie is?

0:02:34 > 0:02:38We are not allowed to discuss the current situation.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41The Clerical Disciplinary Code of 2011 is very clear.

0:02:41 > 0:02:42Awkward as it is.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45Why don't we just let the quasi-judicial ecclesiastical

0:02:45 > 0:02:46procedures wend their way?

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Why are you doing this?

0:02:48 > 0:02:52Until it is resolved, we are not allowed to discuss this matter.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57Paragraph 73 of the Disciplinary Code -

0:02:57 > 0:02:59"Once a formal complaint has been made,

0:02:59 > 0:03:02"it is inappropriate for the respondent to talk to the complainant

0:03:02 > 0:03:05"about it." So...

0:03:06 > 0:03:10Why don't we talk about some pastoral visits instead?

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Withdraw it, Nigel. That's what you should do.

0:03:12 > 0:03:16Now, who wants to go to the nursing home to do prayers?

0:03:16 > 0:03:17You do.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22The problem is, Nigel,

0:03:22 > 0:03:25if we both stay in this room, I'm going to cut your genitals off

0:03:25 > 0:03:28and burn them in front of you in this mug.

0:03:31 > 0:03:32Right.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34It's going to be like this, is it?

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Yep.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38I thought you had more maturity.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Nope.

0:03:40 > 0:03:45Well, the point I'm making is that if you did cut my bits off,

0:03:45 > 0:03:48then you'd clearly be in breach of paragraph 73

0:03:48 > 0:03:51of the Clerical Disciplinary Code.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55Oh, get out of here, you loathsome knob.

0:03:55 > 0:03:59I will not be forced from this room. Paragraph 73 clearly states,

0:03:59 > 0:04:01"Any attempt by the respondent to put pressure" -

0:04:01 > 0:04:03that's what this is - "on the complainant"

0:04:03 > 0:04:05"is improper." It's improper.

0:04:06 > 0:04:07This is assault.

0:04:07 > 0:04:11Right, OK, I will go to the nursing home, I will do prayers.

0:04:11 > 0:04:12Paragraph 73!

0:04:14 > 0:04:16He's a bitter...

0:04:16 > 0:04:18jealous...

0:04:18 > 0:04:20joyless...

0:04:20 > 0:04:22pedant.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27- How dare you...? - Hello.

0:04:27 > 0:04:28What are you doing?

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Oh, nothing. Just writing my sermon.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34How are you? You've had a long day.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Can I get you anything? A drink? Do you want one?- I'll get it.

0:04:40 > 0:04:41How dare you what?

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Hmm?

0:04:43 > 0:04:46You said "how dare you...?" when I came in.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49How dare you sin and not seek forgiveness from the Lord?

0:04:49 > 0:04:51That's my sermon.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54- Right. Old school.- Yep.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Come in, please, have a seat.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Thank you for your response to Nigel McCall's

0:05:13 > 0:05:16complaint of Conduct Unbecoming.

0:05:16 > 0:05:19It was written a little in heat, I suspect.

0:05:19 > 0:05:20That's putting it mildly.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23I've asked Archdeacon Robert to join us.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Robert, be a good sport and make us all a cup of tea?

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Of course, My Lord.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34I'll have my usual. And...

0:05:34 > 0:05:35Um. Yes, just tea.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38What sort, Adam?

0:05:38 > 0:05:39Any.

0:05:39 > 0:05:43Well, we have many different types of tea.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46Earl Grey, Ceylon, Oolong, Rooibos,

0:05:46 > 0:05:49and numerous fruit and herbal infusions.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51It's not really my area of expertise.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Just choose a fruit please, Robert.

0:05:54 > 0:05:59Now, you confess to a kiss in your response.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Yes. One kiss.

0:06:01 > 0:06:05But as I say, it was an entirely unromantic, innocent kiss.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07It was a platonic kiss. I didn't enjoy it.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10It was a mistake, I admit that.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15Well, a kiss can be many things, of course.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17I need to understand what's been going on,

0:06:17 > 0:06:20and how you've got yourself into this situation.

0:06:20 > 0:06:21So I've instructed Archdeacon Robert

0:06:21 > 0:06:26to conduct a small investigation for me, amongst the key parties.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28Is that necessary?

0:06:28 > 0:06:29I'm afraid I have to tell you that

0:06:29 > 0:06:33while the investigation takes place, you will be suspended from ministry.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37It'll take no longer than 28 days, but while you're suspended,

0:06:37 > 0:06:40you are prohibited from entering St Saviour's,

0:06:40 > 0:06:42and in dealing in any pastoral ministry,

0:06:42 > 0:06:45of any kind, with members of your parish.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Pomegranate and pineapple.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55Take some comfort from Ecclesiasticus 2 -

0:06:55 > 0:07:02"...gold is tested in fire, chosen men in the furnace of humiliation."

0:07:02 > 0:07:06I imagine you're hoping to avoid fire and humiliation.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08If possible.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12THE BISHOP GROANS

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Do you think he'll be all right?

0:07:14 > 0:07:16He'll be all right.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Go and clear that up, would you, Robert?

0:07:30 > 0:07:3263.7 feet.

0:07:32 > 0:07:33Hmm.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36And the length was 123 feet

0:07:36 > 0:07:37so that is...

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Oh, you're the one with the maths, my dear.

0:07:39 > 0:07:43It's 7,835.1 square feet.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45- Call it 7,800.- OK.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48DEVICE BEEPS

0:07:49 > 0:07:50What are you doing?

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Ah, hello, Father.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55Just measuring the church.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57How much does property go for around here?

0:07:57 > 0:07:59£800 a square foot.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01As much as that?

0:08:01 > 0:08:04So what do you think this church is worth, then?

0:08:04 > 0:08:08Well, it's £800 x 7,800...

0:08:08 > 0:08:107,800, that's...

0:08:10 > 0:08:15Eight eights are 64. So... er, times...

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Ow, hang on, erm...

0:08:17 > 0:08:20- It's £6,240,000.- Yep, yep.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Amazing.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24But it doesn't matter what it's worth, does it,

0:08:24 > 0:08:25because it's not for sale, is it?

0:08:25 > 0:08:29And it has a small but dedicated congregation that deserve

0:08:29 > 0:08:32a priest and I'm not resigning, and I have the freehold.

0:08:32 > 0:08:37Sadly, Adam, that altereth not the fact that there's been no

0:08:37 > 0:08:39sign of a change in the fortunes of St Saviour's.

0:08:39 > 0:08:42We must do what is best for the Deanery as a whole.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46How can you be church in a church that can't afford the lighting bills?

0:08:46 > 0:08:50We must progress on all fronts hoping - hoping, hoping -

0:08:50 > 0:08:52that against all the odds, there's a miracle

0:08:52 > 0:08:55and you can save your building.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58I'm not going to let it fail. I'm going to sort it out.

0:08:58 > 0:08:59While you're suspended?

0:09:01 > 0:09:04I was shocked to hear of your suspension, Adam.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07Unfortunately while you're suspended, you're not actually

0:09:07 > 0:09:08allowed in here, are you, Father?

0:09:10 > 0:09:11Or am I mistaken?

0:09:12 > 0:09:14I'm just collecting my things.

0:09:41 > 0:09:42Hello, Colin. All right.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46I'm sorry to ask, Vicarage, but any chance I can stay at yours tonight?

0:09:46 > 0:09:47They won't have me back at the hostel.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49Colin, things are a bit tricky at the moment.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51I haven't got anywhere else to stay tonight.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53It's getting dead cold now.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56I'm sorry, it's a bit difficult...

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Just one night.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01The thing is I'm not really allowed to talk to anyone from the parish

0:10:01 > 0:10:02at the moment.

0:10:02 > 0:10:03Why not?

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Come over here...

0:10:05 > 0:10:08How dare they suspend you?

0:10:08 > 0:10:10I bet you wish you had knobbed her now

0:10:10 > 0:10:12if they're going to suspend you anyway.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13It's just a temporary suspension.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16It'll be over soon, but please don't mention it to anyone else.

0:10:16 > 0:10:17Colin, I'm serious about that.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20I just want this to blow over without Alex ever finding out.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Like that time you had that lump on your balls

0:10:22 > 0:10:24and you didn't want me to tell anyone?

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Yeah, but see, actually, you told everyone about that.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Oh, yeah. What happened with that?

0:10:29 > 0:10:33We...it was just a fatty deposit. Forget that.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36This is much more important than my ball lump.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Don't. Tell. Anyone.

0:10:38 > 0:10:39Got ya.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41Here, have some money.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44I'm sorry I can't help properly.

0:10:44 > 0:10:48That's...eight pounds and...something.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50What am I going to do with that?

0:10:50 > 0:10:51Towards a B&B?

0:10:51 > 0:10:54What sort of B&Bs you been staying at?

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Sorry, Colin. It's just all I've got.

0:10:55 > 0:10:58C'mon Bongo. What a wank-stain.

0:10:58 > 0:10:59HE SIGHS

0:11:09 > 0:11:13I very clearly saw a kiss between Adam and Ellie.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15And he's confessed to it, I gather.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17He's a married minister, a school governor,

0:11:17 > 0:11:20I'm sorry to say that his behaviour is not worthy of a priest.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22I had no option but to complain.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26How do you know it was a sexual kiss?

0:11:27 > 0:11:28What, between Adam and Ellie?

0:11:28 > 0:11:31Well, there are many different types of kisses, aren't there?

0:11:31 > 0:11:34There's kisses of warmth, of friendship, even duty,

0:11:34 > 0:11:37how do you know it was a kiss of passion?

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Fair to say this was not a duty kiss.

0:11:39 > 0:11:43Did you use tongues?

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Talk to me, Adam.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49I can only make this go away if you talk to me.

0:11:49 > 0:11:54And if you want this to go away permanently, I've got to be thorough.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59She may have slipped her tongue in briefly.

0:11:59 > 0:12:03Tip of the tongue? Or whole tongue going in?

0:12:03 > 0:12:06I can't remember. Is this necessary?

0:12:06 > 0:12:08Oh, I'm afraid so.

0:12:08 > 0:12:09'I can prove it.'

0:12:09 > 0:12:11I've made a list of all the inappropriate remarks

0:12:11 > 0:12:13he's made about her over the year.

0:12:15 > 0:12:19March 4th PCC meeting. Adam Smallbone.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22"I love Ellie."

0:12:22 > 0:12:27I didn't say "I love Ellie." I said "I love Ellie."

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Well, that's nice of him. We make a great team.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32There are lots of different types of love, of course.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34I love Call The Midwife and strawberry ice cream.

0:12:34 > 0:12:35'March 16th,'

0:12:35 > 0:12:38"I find Ellie's assemblies very rousing."

0:12:38 > 0:12:42- CHUCKLING:- Yes, "rousing". Not "arousing".

0:12:42 > 0:12:43"Rousing".

0:12:43 > 0:12:44Good. They are.

0:12:44 > 0:12:45'April 30th,'

0:12:45 > 0:12:48"I love it when she's strict with me."

0:12:48 > 0:12:50I didn't... When did I say that?

0:12:50 > 0:12:52During the school governors' meeting, apparently.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54'I was in that meeting.'

0:12:54 > 0:12:55It was clearly a joke.

0:12:55 > 0:12:56'May 20th,'

0:12:56 > 0:12:59said to me just before Mass in relation to Ellie's posterior,

0:12:59 > 0:13:01"nice bum."

0:13:02 > 0:13:04He said that?

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Yes, she bent over to pick up a hymn book.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08Nigel and I couldn't help noticing her bum.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10She's got a nice bum. I'm sorry for observing it.

0:13:10 > 0:13:14All these other remarks are innocent and are being twisted.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Ask any one you like - everyone knows that there's been nothing

0:13:16 > 0:13:18going on between Ellie and me.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21Aye, he's wanted to shag her for years. Good on him.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23She's as fit as a butcher's window.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25BONGO GROWLS

0:13:25 > 0:13:28I think he said he had a wank about her once.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Or I said it.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32One of us said it.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34I won't write that down.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Good. I don't want to make things worse for him.

0:13:37 > 0:13:41I will report back to the Registrar and The Bishop.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43And there will a hearing in due course.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Robert, can I ask, meanwhile, that you don't mention this to Alex.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49I just want this to blow over without her ever knowing.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57BABY WAILS ON BABY MONITOR

0:13:59 > 0:14:03All he did was shag the headmistress in her office, once,

0:14:03 > 0:14:06and because of that, they've suspended him.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Colin, is this true?

0:14:08 > 0:14:13Don't tell anyone. No-one else knows. Except you and me

0:14:13 > 0:14:15and this bloke I told in the pub.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18So who is taking the service then?

0:14:18 > 0:14:21I don't want anyone young.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25DOORS OPEN

0:14:25 > 0:14:28CROWD CLAMOURS FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

0:14:35 > 0:14:37OK, I'm just off to church to do Mass.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40ALEX: 'OK. You're late. Sure you don't mind me missing it?'

0:14:40 > 0:14:43- No, no. You're fine. OK, bye. - 'Bye!'

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Yes, yes, I'm on it, I'm walking in right now.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54I'm sorry I'm late. As many of you by now will know,

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Father Adam is currently suspended due to an ongoing

0:14:57 > 0:15:00investigation that we hope to resolve as quickly as possible.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03And by we, we mean I.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06We have been unable to find a parish priest to take these

0:15:06 > 0:15:08services in the interim

0:15:08 > 0:15:13so I will be your temporary priest until such time as Adam returns,

0:15:13 > 0:15:16or a permanent temporary replacement is found.

0:15:17 > 0:15:21Now, Yotam Ottolenghi very sweetly is going to show me how to cook with

0:15:21 > 0:15:25a clay pot at 12...so I'm going to zip through this if that's all right.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27My style is a little more dynamic than Adam's.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29The Lord be with you.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34I've started. The Lord be with you.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36- CROWD MUMBLES UNENTHUSIASTICALLY: - And also with you.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Almighty God, under whom all hearts be opened

0:15:38 > 0:15:41and all desires known, cleanse the thoughts of your hearts with

0:15:41 > 0:15:44the inspiration of your Holy Spirit that we may perfectly love you

0:15:44 > 0:15:47and worthily magnify your holy name through Christ our Lord...

0:15:50 > 0:15:51..amen.

0:15:51 > 0:15:56'Typical bloody fucking stupid church madness.'

0:15:58 > 0:16:00'Oh, that's better.

0:16:00 > 0:16:05'This whole investigation process is ridiculous.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08'It'll be OK, won't it, Lord?'

0:16:09 > 0:16:11'Yeah, it'll be fine.'

0:16:13 > 0:16:16'No, I'll be fine.'

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Packet of ten please, Lisa.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Off to have sex, are you?

0:16:36 > 0:16:39- I'm sorry?- Nuffin'.

0:16:39 > 0:16:40No, I'm sorry. Why would you say that?

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Just saying what it says.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44What? What what says?

0:16:50 > 0:16:51Dirty bugger.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53VAN HORN BEEPS

0:16:53 > 0:16:55Go on, my son. Give her one, Vic!

0:16:55 > 0:16:57THEY LAUGH

0:16:57 > 0:16:59PHONE RINGS

0:16:59 > 0:17:00Hello, Ellie.

0:17:00 > 0:17:01Thanks a lot, Adam.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03- What?- 'Well, thanks to your newspaper report,'

0:17:03 > 0:17:05I'm getting hauled in by the Governors tomorrow

0:17:05 > 0:17:07for an official reprimand. Who did you tell?

0:17:07 > 0:17:09No-one. I didn't tell anyone.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11Well, someone did. And if it wasn't me, it must've been you.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Wasn't. I didn't.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16This will sit on my file for five years.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18There goes my whole career plan.

0:17:18 > 0:17:22Why does everything you touch turn to shit?

0:17:22 > 0:17:24People are saying you kissed her.

0:17:24 > 0:17:26I'm sorry about all this, Adoha. It's a nightmare.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29It's a tiny thing that's got blown out of all proportion.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31So, did you kiss her?

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Well... No, look, it's a complicated situation.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36The investigation process is ridiculous.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39So you did?

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Well, I'm not really allowed to talk about it.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43People are saying you did.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45- SLOWLY:- Did you kiss her?

0:17:46 > 0:17:50Yes...and no.

0:17:50 > 0:17:51Yes?

0:17:51 > 0:17:55Yes. Yes. Mainly yep.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58But also no, because it was a mistake.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00But I did also enjoy it.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03So maybe I do deserve to be suspended? Who knows?

0:18:03 > 0:18:08The Bishop will decide. He's the expert on judging kisses.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10You disgust me.

0:18:10 > 0:18:11I know.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

0:18:29 > 0:18:31What a situation I'm in.

0:18:31 > 0:18:33LAUGHTER FROM OUTSIDE

0:18:33 > 0:18:36CANS RATTLE OUTSIDE

0:18:36 > 0:18:37Oi! Perv!

0:18:41 > 0:18:44KATIE CRIES

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Got any spare change please, mate?

0:19:02 > 0:19:05You got any spare change, please? I'm starving.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Please. Just a little bit of change.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Sorry.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12It's only sheer bad luck that I'm sat here and you're not. C'mon...

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Watch it, mate, I've got mace.

0:19:15 > 0:19:19Hang on. Ain't you a mate of that filthy vicar?

0:19:19 > 0:19:21- Nah. - Yeah, you are.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23I ain't giving no money to no filthy vicar's mate.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25I hate the twat. I don't know him.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27- Yes, you do. - No, I don't.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30How many times do I have to tell ya I don't know him?

0:19:30 > 0:19:33ALARM BLARES

0:19:33 > 0:19:35Fucking burglar alarm!

0:19:35 > 0:19:37Get it fixed, you massive cock.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Quick, quick, before she gets home.

0:19:48 > 0:19:49What are you doing?

0:19:49 > 0:19:52Oh, hi, Alex. Hi.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56Some arsehole's graffitied the house.

0:19:56 > 0:19:57It's outrageous. Who'd do that?

0:19:57 > 0:20:01I know! It happens to priests.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Adam, I know what happened.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05The newspaper report is nonsense, Alex.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07- You know what happened with Ellie. I told you.- I know.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09It's not what they suggest. You know that.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11I know. Don't worry. Are you OK?

0:20:11 > 0:20:13Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15I just want to get this off.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20And now I'm going to go and take the big cross to Father Winters

0:20:20 > 0:20:21cos he's been waiting for it.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Adam, don't do that now. Come and talk to me.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. No need. Don't worry.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29You go and check on Katie. Let me do this.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31I must do this. You go in and check on her.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Adam, don't do it now.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36He needs it for Easter.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37Adam!

0:20:38 > 0:20:39Don't worry.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41I won't be long.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Back later.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14He's having a very tough time.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16He said he was going out for a couple of hours,

0:21:16 > 0:21:17but that was 8:00 and he's still not back.

0:21:17 > 0:21:21MUFFLED LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

0:21:23 > 0:21:25INCOHERENT SHOUTING

0:21:32 > 0:21:34SHOUTING

0:21:38 > 0:21:39HE GRUNTS

0:21:48 > 0:21:52'Why does everything you touch turn to shit?'

0:21:52 > 0:21:54'Talk to me, Adam.'

0:21:57 > 0:21:59- Do you need some help? - No, I'm fine.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04METAL SCRAPES LOUDLY

0:22:06 > 0:22:08'You disgust me.'

0:22:58 > 0:23:03# Dance, dance, wherever you may be

0:23:03 > 0:23:07# "I am the Lord of the Dance," said he

0:23:07 > 0:23:10# And I lead you all, wherever you may be

0:23:10 > 0:23:13# "And I lead you all in the dance," said he

0:23:14 > 0:23:17# I danced with the scribes and the Pharisees

0:23:17 > 0:23:19# They would not dance, they would not follow me

0:23:19 > 0:23:22# So I danced for the fisherman, for James and John

0:23:22 > 0:23:25# They came with me so the dance went on

0:23:25 > 0:23:28# Dance, dance, wherever you may be

0:23:28 > 0:23:31# "I am the Lord of the Dance," said he

0:23:31 > 0:23:34MAN JOINS IN: # And I lead you all, wherever you may be

0:23:34 > 0:23:37# "And I lead you all in the dance," said he

0:23:37 > 0:23:40# Dance, dance, wherever you may be

0:23:40 > 0:23:42# "I am the Lord of the Dance," said he

0:23:42 > 0:23:45# And I lead you all, wherever you may be

0:23:45 > 0:23:48# "And I lead you all in the dance," says he. #

0:23:50 > 0:23:52Hello. I like your dancing.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54Yeah. Thanks.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01You're in a good mood, then.

0:24:01 > 0:24:02Not really.

0:24:02 > 0:24:03Oh.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06Why's that, then?

0:24:06 > 0:24:10I'm trying to keep something alive but I don't think I can do it.

0:24:10 > 0:24:11Aha.

0:24:12 > 0:24:16Aye, you know, I've learned a few things over the years.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19Oh, yes?

0:24:19 > 0:24:24You can't...you can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs.

0:24:24 > 0:24:25Right, thanks.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29I see.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31We are what we eat.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33Yep.

0:24:33 > 0:24:34You buy cheap, you buy twice.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36The open hand has the strongest grip.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38It's OK, you can stop now.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41Never parachute into an area you've just bombed.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43Well, that's a good one.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47Adam, Adam.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53We all have our crosses to bear.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Yes. Yes, we do.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01(I understand, Adam.)

0:25:06 > 0:25:07I'll always be here.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

0:25:28 > 0:25:32SEAGULLS WAIL OVERHEAD

0:25:42 > 0:25:43Adam? Where've you been?

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Hi. Don't worry. I'm here.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47I've been up all night, I called the police.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Sorry, no need. I'm fine.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51What's happened to your head?

0:25:51 > 0:25:54Doesn't matter, really. I've got to go and see the Bishop now.

0:25:54 > 0:25:55Mustn't be late.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57Adam, you can't just go again!

0:25:57 > 0:26:00Alex, I just met God.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12Ah.

0:26:12 > 0:26:13Sit down, please.

0:26:15 > 0:26:19Sorry, forgive my manner, I have a splitting headache today.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21I might have an aspirin.

0:26:21 > 0:26:22Oh?

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Would you like a rusk?

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Or some of this?

0:26:32 > 0:26:34I can't find my aspirin.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Why not?

0:26:36 > 0:26:38Thank you.

0:26:41 > 0:26:42Are you all right?

0:26:42 > 0:26:44I'm all right, yes.

0:26:45 > 0:26:51Well, Archdeacon Robert has done a very full and clear report.

0:26:51 > 0:26:55I'm sorry it's taken so long but you'll be happy to hear

0:26:55 > 0:26:58that in my judgment, this complaint is unfounded.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00There clearly was an incident

0:27:00 > 0:27:04but I don't believe it was indicative of a deeper relationship.

0:27:04 > 0:27:09So, no further need for any disciplinary action.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11Innocent.

0:27:12 > 0:27:13If you say I am.

0:27:15 > 0:27:16Oh, I'm sorry.

0:27:16 > 0:27:19This whole, inadequate process has put you under a terrible strain.

0:27:19 > 0:27:22- Thank you. - Do you need some counselling?

0:27:22 > 0:27:24- We can organise that. - No.

0:27:24 > 0:27:26I want to go.

0:27:27 > 0:27:29Go where?

0:27:30 > 0:27:32I want to leave St Saviour's.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36You mean you want to resign?

0:27:37 > 0:27:39Yes. I'm resigning.

0:27:41 > 0:27:46If you resign, I can't save St Saviour's for you, you know that?

0:27:46 > 0:27:48I want to go.

0:27:48 > 0:27:50Let me go.

0:28:11 > 0:28:14Ite in pacem.

0:28:14 > 0:28:15Thank you.

0:28:29 > 0:28:33HAMMERING AND DRILLING

0:28:43 > 0:28:47DOORS CREAKING

0:28:47 > 0:28:50DOORS SLAM SHUT

0:28:50 > 0:28:52KNOCKS ON DOOR