Episode 4

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0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language and adult humour

0:00:08 > 0:00:09YOLO 4 Yemen.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17I don't forgive him! I want to see him in chains.

0:00:17 > 0:00:19MUSIC: Jump Around by House Of Pain

0:00:19 > 0:00:20I'm Toby.

0:00:20 > 0:00:21And I'm Toby.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24- And we're literally best mates, aren't we mate?- We are mate.

0:00:24 > 0:00:25We just love food, so a few years

0:00:25 > 0:00:27ago we took over a boozer in East London,

0:00:27 > 0:00:30priced out the locals and turned it into a gastro-pub.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33Then some telly producers we knew at uni gave us our own

0:00:33 > 0:00:36TV cookery show because that's how that works.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38This is Gastro Kitchen.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Television is served.

0:00:42 > 0:00:47Not only do we cook food and eat food, we also say things about food.

0:00:47 > 0:00:48I love food.

0:00:48 > 0:00:49I literally love it,

0:00:49 > 0:00:53I'm passionate about it...sometimes I think I might even fancy it a bit.

0:00:53 > 0:00:57Well, I actually love food so much that I truly believe

0:00:57 > 0:00:59that pretty much everyone should eat it.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01OK, what's for starters?

0:01:01 > 0:01:04I've decided to go for an absolute classic, foie gras.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06But this isn't any old foie gras,

0:01:06 > 0:01:10it's made by a man with a very unusual past.

0:01:11 > 0:01:16Foie gras is a delicious form of pate made from the liver of a goose.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18The geese are force-fed corn, twice a day,

0:01:18 > 0:01:23to fatten them up and give that pate a lovely, rich, buttery taste.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27One farmer's pioneering techniques are paving the way to ensure

0:01:27 > 0:01:29an even tastier taste.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33My name is Hank Duke and I spent five years as

0:01:33 > 0:01:37a CIA interrogator at "Gitanamo" Bay Terrorist Prison Facility.

0:01:38 > 0:01:42After I retired from torturing "Ayrabs", I wanted a quiet life.

0:01:42 > 0:01:43So, I moved here to Norfolk.

0:01:43 > 0:01:47And I became the UK's only produce of foie gras.

0:01:47 > 0:01:51What in the name of Jon Bon Jovi is going on here?!

0:01:51 > 0:01:52Get outta here!

0:01:52 > 0:01:54Welcome to the big house!

0:01:54 > 0:01:57Well, I run a pretty tight ship.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00They get ten minutes exercise and they're back on with the

0:02:00 > 0:02:02blindfolds and some shut the...

0:02:02 > 0:02:03..hell up!

0:02:03 > 0:02:06Hey! Don't you look at me like that!

0:02:06 > 0:02:08I'll get in there and I'll kick your little face in.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10HE CHUCKLES

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Sadly there's no redemption for these little souls,

0:02:12 > 0:02:14they going to turn their little minds to evil.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16All, except Little Hank up there.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18Oh, he's one of us now.

0:02:18 > 0:02:22He's a little turncoat. He sleeps in my bed and he eats at my table.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25He's the best friend I ever, goddamn, had.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28Well this right here is your classic sensory deprivation kit.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31Consisting of ear muffs and a blindfold,

0:02:31 > 0:02:33and after two days of wearing that...

0:02:33 > 0:02:36they usually ready to go on hunger strike.

0:02:36 > 0:02:37And that's when the force-feeding begins.

0:02:37 > 0:02:41And let me tell you, my dick gets real hard for a force-feeding.

0:02:43 > 0:02:44'Mmm, that sounds delish!

0:02:44 > 0:02:46'But what will the British public think?

0:02:46 > 0:02:50'I've take some of Hank's foie gras to market.'

0:02:50 > 0:02:53It's called Freedom Foie Gras it's produced by an

0:02:53 > 0:02:56American chap called Hank Duke, he retired from Guantanamo Bay

0:02:56 > 0:02:59and he employed all of the techniques he learnt there into making foie gras.

0:02:59 > 0:03:00It is tasty.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03- What you do is, you force-feed the geese for about three hours... - Yeah we know...

0:03:03 > 0:03:06The liver expands so that it's almost bursting,

0:03:06 > 0:03:08- but it gives it a lovely buttery taste.- Mmm.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13- Force-fed down the neck, you know...- Mm hmm.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15I hate the idea, they just stick a tube in a duck,

0:03:15 > 0:03:20and they just pour food till the liver explodes.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22It's similar to, erm, duck pate, really.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26It is very similar to the duck pate, but with a lot more intense pain.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28- So much pain.- Yeah.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31To just feed us a little bit of things spread on a bread.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Well at least the goose knows he's becoming part of an

0:03:33 > 0:03:35incredible luxury product.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39Obviously, there are lot of, erm, quite extreme geese in this country so...you know, he's dealing

0:03:39 > 0:03:41with that problem as well as producing a lovely by-product.

0:03:41 > 0:03:45Honestly, the more he's telling me the more, the more I'm becoming a vegetarian.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47Some geese, they're real little shits.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49What do you have against geese?

0:03:49 > 0:03:50Well have you ever been pecked by a goose?

0:03:50 > 0:03:51You ever been pecked by a goose?

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Or do you know anyone that's been pecked by a goose?

0:03:53 > 0:03:56- Erm, maybe my kids at some point.- You see?

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Welcome to Inside The Story.

0:04:03 > 0:04:04I'm Dale Maily, fearless,

0:04:04 > 0:04:08hetero journalist who's not afraid to be unafraid.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11I deliver fair, impartial news as it happens.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13Wherever it happens.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Telling you the right way to think.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19There's nothing better than watching beautiful women,

0:04:19 > 0:04:22or even children, in make-up competing in what our

0:04:22 > 0:04:25American cousins call "a beauty pageant."

0:04:25 > 0:04:28But now a group of cross-dressing transgenders are trying to

0:04:28 > 0:04:30take our pageants for themselves.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32And it's totally wrong.

0:04:32 > 0:04:33Isn't it?

0:04:33 > 0:04:36What constitutes real beauty?

0:04:36 > 0:04:39- Ha, interesting, what constitutes real beauty?- Real beauty.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42Nothing does. It's in the eye of the beholder.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45When you realised that you had these feelings,

0:04:45 > 0:04:46why didn't you just fight them?

0:04:48 > 0:04:51Well, there is a, erm, I mean, erm...

0:04:51 > 0:04:54I was told, that I should know my place, and I should,

0:04:54 > 0:04:57you know, be who I'm supposed to be.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01- It was quite confusing. - Oh, that died out years ago.

0:05:01 > 0:05:02If you want to wear a dress, wear a dress.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04If you want to wear eyeliner, wear eyeliner.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06But what if your dad said, "No, Dale."

0:05:06 > 0:05:08You know, I mean, "You can't have eyeliner."

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Am I allowed to swear? I'd say, "Fuck you."

0:05:11 > 0:05:15I am here with the absolute blonde bombshell that is Pamela.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17I mean, goodness me, you're a sight for sore eyes, aren't you?

0:05:17 > 0:05:18Goodness me!

0:05:18 > 0:05:21You're a woman, I bet you can parallel park as well.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25- Eh, I've not lost me driving skills. - Fantastic!

0:05:25 > 0:05:28I would take you for a drink and I'd even pay for it.

0:05:28 > 0:05:29Well that's very kind of you.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32Would you have white wine or a pint or...?

0:05:32 > 0:05:33Erm.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36That is, I mean that's not English, is it? That's...

0:05:36 > 0:05:40'It was competition time and I already had a favourite.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44'Who, I'm not ashamed to say, I hoped would join me for a spritzer.'

0:05:44 > 0:05:48A body of a woman and a mind of a man. What more could you want?

0:05:48 > 0:05:52'It was now all down to the judges to crown their winner.'

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Give it up, nice and loud, for Miya!

0:05:54 > 0:05:55For Miya!

0:05:55 > 0:05:57Miya's won.

0:05:57 > 0:06:01'Typically British stunner Pamela was pipped to the post...

0:06:01 > 0:06:02'by a foreigner!'

0:06:02 > 0:06:04CROWD APPLAUDS

0:06:04 > 0:06:07- You actually want a boob job? - Yeah, I want a free boob job.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09So will you just, when you get those boobs,

0:06:09 > 0:06:11will you just spend your days just sexually assaulting yourself?

0:06:11 > 0:06:13I know I would.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16This is Dale Maily for Inside The Story.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19I'm off to the pub.

0:06:19 > 0:06:23I mean look at ya, got your crown, absolutely incredible. Shall we...?

0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Let's go... - Shall we go? I mean...

0:06:26 > 0:06:28- Let's just...- I know. I know.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30I knew Dad was wrong about girls like you.

0:06:30 > 0:06:31Ha. After you, after you.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38- REPORTER:- British activists and South Korean families gather outside

0:06:38 > 0:06:41a Reckitt Benckiser shareholders' meeting in London.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43After the firm accepted responsibility for selling

0:06:43 > 0:06:46products linked to fatal lung injuries.

0:06:46 > 0:06:51Since 2011, 530 have registered claims for lung ailments

0:06:51 > 0:06:54after using humidifier sterilisers in South Korea.

0:06:54 > 0:06:5792 deaths are believe to be linked to the item.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00Reckitt, known for brands like Dettol and Nurofen

0:07:00 > 0:07:03have offered compensation.

0:07:03 > 0:07:04I apologise again.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07- This time you lie!- I'm very sorry. - You are murderer!

0:07:07 > 0:07:15MUSIC: Dance Of The Hours by Amilcare Ponchielli

0:07:17 > 0:07:19I've just got to clear a humidifier

0:07:19 > 0:07:21on two that might be causing lung damage.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23All right. Thanks.

0:07:26 > 0:07:27- Hey, how are you doing? - What happened?

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Toxic build-up on the floor, unfortunate.

0:07:29 > 0:07:30- Are you serious?- Yeah.- I knew it.

0:07:30 > 0:07:35- You were feeling light headed? - Yeah.- Really?

0:07:35 > 0:07:37- OK, you're joking?- Ha-ha, yeah.

0:07:39 > 0:07:41Hey, there's been something spilt,

0:07:41 > 0:07:44well there're been some reputational damage apparently,

0:07:44 > 0:07:45there might be some stuff in the atmosphere,

0:07:45 > 0:07:47that might be affecting people quite badly. Yeah.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50A lot of careers have already been risked in this whole process,

0:07:50 > 0:07:52but it could be affecting people quite badly.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54Can you come over here? OK.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56Hi, you might have some compensational build-up

0:07:56 > 0:07:57in one of your moral vacuums,

0:07:57 > 0:07:59so we need to come and clean it out from one of the pipes.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02It could be affecting respiratory conditions.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04Can I just check in the kitchen and make sure everything is all right?

0:08:04 > 0:08:05In the kitchen.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09I mean once we get it cleaned out,

0:08:09 > 0:08:11you guys can just breathe easy, you know.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Toxicity levels are getting better, I've got some 'Kill-it Bang',

0:08:15 > 0:08:16so I'm gonna kill it dead.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19If you can try and get them to release the compensation

0:08:19 > 0:08:20from the moral vacuum we can get it

0:08:20 > 0:08:22- to the Koreans that need it. - Yes, yes.- That'd be great.

0:08:26 > 0:08:30- REPORTER:- The appalling conditions that workers say they have to live

0:08:30 > 0:08:33in, so they can pack the fruit destined for our supermarkets.

0:08:33 > 0:08:37Every where you look the fields are littered with migrant workers,

0:08:37 > 0:08:40but it's common to see them in the same field as sprayers.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52'This week on Toby vs Toby,

0:08:52 > 0:08:55'we went to pick some fruit for our summer pudding.'

0:08:55 > 0:08:58There is literally nothing more delicious than fresh fruit

0:08:58 > 0:09:00from a pick-your-own fruit farm.

0:09:00 > 0:09:01HONKS HORN

0:09:05 > 0:09:07OK, the producers have given us one

0:09:07 > 0:09:09hour to pick as much fruit as we can.

0:09:09 > 0:09:10Winner gets to drive mummy home?

0:09:10 > 0:09:14Oh, my God. You are on! This is going to be crazy!

0:09:14 > 0:09:17Now, what Toby doesn't know is that I've brought along

0:09:17 > 0:09:19a few special helpers with me today...my nephews!

0:09:19 > 0:09:21YAY!

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Toby Jr and Toby Jr!

0:09:23 > 0:09:26This is Mikel, he's from Albania.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29Mikel, please explain what it is you do for a living?

0:09:40 > 0:09:42This is where you keep them?

0:09:43 > 0:09:44I get it!

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Hello! Hi...

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Toby, hi.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53OK guys, three, two, one and...

0:09:53 > 0:09:54TOBY BLOWS WHISTLE

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Start picking!

0:09:56 > 0:09:59MUSIC: My Old Man by Danny La Rue

0:09:59 > 0:10:01Well, I mean the pace they're working at,

0:10:01 > 0:10:03you must be paying them a fair whack, Mikel?

0:10:08 > 0:10:11'I only wanted the juiciest and ripest summer fruits,

0:10:11 > 0:10:15'so it wasn't long before I was spurring on the workers myself.'

0:10:18 > 0:10:19Oh, my God, look, look, look over here,

0:10:19 > 0:10:21there's loads over here as well.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Quick we've only got five minutes. Quick!

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Soon, I had enough for my pudding, phew!

0:10:25 > 0:10:27And just in time because...

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Hang fire Toby, times up mate, it's been an hour and I've got

0:10:30 > 0:10:32four delicious punnets of gorgeous summer fruit.

0:10:32 > 0:10:36That's great mate, but I've filled up 14 buckets full of fruit.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Mikel, you can have your passports back now, fella.

0:10:39 > 0:10:40What a rascal!

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Well done mate, gutted for me though.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Looks like you're going to be mummy home.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48Sweet! I haven't been this excited since Euro '96.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50Gazza.

0:10:53 > 0:10:56- Reporter:- The Labour Party is in the midst of a civil war.

0:10:56 > 0:10:57With Jeremy Corbyn having won his

0:10:57 > 0:10:59second leadership election by a landslide,

0:10:59 > 0:11:00many believe that

0:11:00 > 0:11:04Labour is too left-wing to be elected into government.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05In this series,

0:11:05 > 0:11:08we follow two Labour Party members on opposing sides of the argument.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Robin, a dyed-in-the-wool Socialist and canvasser,

0:11:11 > 0:11:15and Penny, a Labour Party adviser and self-confessed Blairite.

0:11:15 > 0:11:19Both are convinced, that they're version of Labour is the future.

0:11:23 > 0:11:27It's July, and Sir John Chilcot has finally delivered his damning

0:11:27 > 0:11:30verdict on former Prime Minister Tony Blair's decision

0:11:30 > 0:11:34to commit British troops to the Iraq War in 2003.

0:11:34 > 0:11:39I accept...full responsibility.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41CROWD CHANTS: Tony Blair. War Criminal!

0:11:41 > 0:11:42The report concluded that an

0:11:42 > 0:11:45imminent threat from weapons of mass destruction

0:11:45 > 0:11:47was both flawed and exaggerated.

0:11:47 > 0:11:52With protestors gathering outside Westminster calling for Blair to be tried as a war criminal,

0:11:52 > 0:11:54never has being a Blairite been so unpopular.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58Undeterred, Penny is attempting some damage limitation.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00Oh, well, I'm just sort of down here, erm,

0:12:00 > 0:12:03doing a small, sort of, questionnaire for the Labour Party.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06Just trying to work out how angry people actually are.

0:12:06 > 0:12:10Do you think Tony Blair should have...fully vindicated or only slightly vindicated?

0:12:10 > 0:12:11No, he should be sent to The Hague.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15- Oh, he did, he had a mini-break in Amsterdam with Cherie recently. - He's a war criminal.- Right.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18- Don't you think we should move on and think of...- No, I don't!

0:12:18 > 0:12:20I think we should move back.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24Move back and make absolutely sure that everybody who was involved

0:12:24 > 0:12:26in this, including people like Bush,

0:12:26 > 0:12:29- are absolutely brought to account. - Absolutely, yes.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31So in conclusion, you'd say that

0:12:31 > 0:12:33- you forgive Tony but... - I don't forgive Tony.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35No, I absolutely do not say,

0:12:35 > 0:12:38but I do not want you to write anything about me

0:12:38 > 0:12:39because you're not listening to me.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Oh, no, I am.- You're projecting your view about Tony.

0:12:42 > 0:12:46I don't forgive him, I want to see him in chains!

0:12:46 > 0:12:48They keep saying "Blair lied, millions died."

0:12:48 > 0:12:50Perhaps if they realised it was

0:12:50 > 0:12:52only 500,000 they'd be a bit less angry.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54Maybe I should go and tell them that.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Tony is an incredibly sensitive man...

0:12:56 > 0:12:58- How many houses has he got? Nine?- Eight or nine.- Yeah.

0:12:58 > 0:12:59It's not about his houses,

0:12:59 > 0:13:01it's about the sleep that he's losing

0:13:01 > 0:13:02and I'm worried about him, you know.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05A lot of people here, actually, they

0:13:05 > 0:13:07don't give a monkey's about Tony's health.

0:13:07 > 0:13:11Even the phrase, "rot in hell" has been used. OK.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15- OK, you said Penny was your first name...- Penny, that's right.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18Penny has attracted the attention of a news crew,

0:13:18 > 0:13:20and is all too happy to give his thoughts on the situation.

0:13:20 > 0:13:24- You joined the Labour Party because of Blair... - Because of Tony, yeah...

0:13:24 > 0:13:26- Did he let you down? - Tony's the first to admit his mistakes,

0:13:26 > 0:13:29I think he feels as upset about this as, erm, as anyone.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31And considering what happened afterwards,

0:13:31 > 0:13:32the hundreds of thousands of people

0:13:32 > 0:13:34- who've died, you look at the Middle East now.- Yes...

0:13:34 > 0:13:38Isn't there a case that Mr Blair should be taken to court?

0:13:38 > 0:13:40- Taken to a criminal court? - To any court.

0:13:40 > 0:13:41Well, I, just, I think this

0:13:41 > 0:13:44has already taken the best part of seven years,

0:13:44 > 0:13:45it's punishment enough, you know.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47He did have to do six or seven

0:13:47 > 0:13:48interviews as part of this inquiry,

0:13:48 > 0:13:49which were gruelling.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52- Thank you very much. Cheers. - OK, thanks very much.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54Well I'm just putting them down here.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57No, we will not, let's put you down there!

0:13:57 > 0:13:59- I'm just leaving them on the floor. - No.- Pick 'em up.- Pick them up!

0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Pick them up?- Yes.- Yeah. Go on. - Pick them up!

0:14:02 > 0:14:04I think they're better on the floor.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07- No they're not, you're better on the floor, I'll tell you that. - You're a wanker.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Now it's time for America to bind the wounds of division,

0:14:18 > 0:14:22we have to get together, for those who have chosen

0:14:22 > 0:14:25not to support me in the past, of which there were a few people.

0:14:25 > 0:14:26CROWD LAUGHS

0:14:27 > 0:14:30I'm reaching out to you.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34Hillary has worked over a long period of time,

0:14:34 > 0:14:36and we owe her a major debt of gratitude

0:14:36 > 0:14:40for her service to our country.

0:14:40 > 0:14:44I've spent my entire life and business

0:14:44 > 0:14:46looking at the untapped potential in projects,

0:14:46 > 0:14:48and in people, all over the world.

0:14:49 > 0:14:52No dream is too big, no challenge is too great.

0:14:52 > 0:14:54Working together,

0:14:54 > 0:14:58we will begin the urgent task of rebuilding our nation

0:14:58 > 0:15:01and renewing the American dream.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04And I love this country.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Thank you, thank you very much.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08CROWD CHEERS

0:15:08 > 0:15:09So, I'm from Airbus,

0:15:09 > 0:15:11proud sponsors of the Science Museum.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Very excited to be down here today with the new exhibit

0:15:14 > 0:15:17so we can show patrons what Airbus' business is all about.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19We're not just about planes you fly on holiday in,

0:15:19 > 0:15:22we're also heavily involved in weapons.

0:15:22 > 0:15:23LOUD BANG

0:15:23 > 0:15:25We sell to virtually anyone.

0:15:25 > 0:15:29Even if you have a poor humanitarian record, like Saudi Arabia.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31- NEWSREADER:- It's the seemingly indiscriminate bombing

0:15:31 > 0:15:34that's led rights groups to accuse the Saudis of war crimes.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37The feeling here isn't that the outside world

0:15:37 > 0:15:39doesn't know what's happening in Yemen,

0:15:39 > 0:15:40it's that they don't care.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44To balance out the bad press with some good press,

0:15:44 > 0:15:46we've collaborated with our friends at the Science Museum

0:15:46 > 0:15:49and introduced a fun new educational programme.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52A flight simulator where you can fly one of our death machines

0:15:52 > 0:15:54heading over to Yemen.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56I'm from Airbus, we've got a brand-new exhibition

0:15:56 > 0:15:59that shows you what it's like to experience flying

0:15:59 > 0:16:02a Eurofighter over a small Yemeni village and boom!

0:16:02 > 0:16:04And blowing up some little villages, it's super fun,

0:16:04 > 0:16:06would you like to experience the quality

0:16:06 > 0:16:08- of an Airbus missile attack...- Yeah.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10..as if you were a Saudi Arabian fighter jet pilot?

0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Yeah.- You would?- Yeah.- Excellent.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Obviously, some of these people look a bit sad,

0:16:14 > 0:16:17but they're probably going to get bombed anyway.

0:16:17 > 0:16:18How much is it?

0:16:18 > 0:16:20It's totally free, it's on us, we make enough money,

0:16:20 > 0:16:21you can have this one for free.

0:16:21 > 0:16:23But it's the experience of pure death

0:16:23 > 0:16:25- and destruction or your money back. - OK.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27And then afterwards, we can offer you counselling if you feel

0:16:27 > 0:16:29bad about it, if the experience

0:16:29 > 0:16:31- was too realistic and stuff like that.- Yeah.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33- This is the missile release button. - OK.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36And then you have to push the missile release button and

0:16:36 > 0:16:37boom and ahh!

0:16:37 > 0:16:38And the poor kids, you know,

0:16:38 > 0:16:41and you get to really get the authentic experience

0:16:41 > 0:16:44of what it's like to be a Saudi Arabian fighter pilot.

0:16:44 > 0:16:48- Would you like to have a go?- Yes. - Oh, brilliant. Great.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51EXPLOSION EFFECTS

0:16:51 > 0:16:54Would you like to have a go? It's totally free.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56No, I don't think so.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Hey, I'm Duckface and I'm an Insta-celebrity.

0:16:59 > 0:17:02And I'm all about raising awareness about totes important issues

0:17:02 > 0:17:04using social media.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06Let's change the planet one hashtag at a time, babes.

0:17:06 > 0:17:07Love you!

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Oh, hey, guys, it's your gorgeous Duckface here again.

0:17:11 > 0:17:14So, babes, last night I heard about this terrible place called Yemen.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17There are bombs dropping and it's awful. Eurgh.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19So we're going to launch...

0:17:19 > 0:17:23YOLO, like, the only live once, babe.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25Shut up.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27YOLO. YOLO!

0:17:27 > 0:17:29- Do you know about Yemen?- A bit.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32- BOTH:- YOLO! - Mwah, we love you.- Seize the day.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34- ALL:- YOLO for Yemen.

0:17:34 > 0:17:35That's right, guys,

0:17:35 > 0:17:37everyone is part of the human race.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39- Just good luck with everything. - You have one life, yeah.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Better conditions in Yemen, you get me?

0:17:41 > 0:17:45- YOLO for Yemen, you just live once. - You only live once.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Come on, a bit more profound than that, go.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50- You only live once? - You only live once, right?

0:17:50 > 0:17:52I'm afraid I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55- Can you just give me a bit of pouty-ness for that.- No.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Hmmm. Ming, ming.

0:17:57 > 0:17:58Sorry, babes, I was just meditating.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00Well, that'll show those warmongering bitches

0:18:00 > 0:18:02not to do that again.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03Anyway, guys, got to run,

0:18:03 > 0:18:06I've got a charity gala to go to with Lila Donnan.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Bye.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10Tweet me.

0:18:11 > 0:18:14- NEWSREADER:- Food poverty is often thought of as a problem

0:18:14 > 0:18:16for the developing world, not the developed.

0:18:16 > 0:18:21- NEWSREADER:- Benefit cuts due to hit the just-about-managing families

0:18:21 > 0:18:22or JAMs.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24- NEWSREADER:- Here at the Wokingham food bank,

0:18:24 > 0:18:26they support around 80 people a month,

0:18:26 > 0:18:28a growing number of whom have had to come here

0:18:28 > 0:18:31after their benefits were stopped.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34Here in the UK, charities have accused

0:18:34 > 0:18:37British supermarkets of wasting

0:18:37 > 0:18:40thousands of tonnes of surplus food

0:18:40 > 0:18:43at a time when millions of hungry people are using food banks.

0:18:43 > 0:18:47I'm on my way to a farm in Wales who are looking to buck that trend.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51- Oh, Piers.- Colin. - Hi. Good to see you.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53- Welcome to the farm. - Thanks for having me.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55So, what exactly do you do here?

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Well, it's not exactly what, but rather who.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59- Come, let me show you. - Pretty loud in here.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02It is pretty loud, yeah, absolutely.

0:19:02 > 0:19:05- Wow.- So, basically, what we're doing is harnessing the power of wind,

0:19:05 > 0:19:07methane to be exact.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10We've got 150 disadvantaged units - the unemployed, redundant...

0:19:10 > 0:19:13- Hi, guys. - ..who over a day can power

0:19:13 > 0:19:15- a small town like Market Harborough. - Sure.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17HE FARTS

0:19:17 > 0:19:19The surplus supermarket food gets delivered over there,

0:19:19 > 0:19:21put into their troughs, ready for feeding.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23- Looks like we've got cheese strings today.- Uh-huh.

0:19:23 > 0:19:27The hungry get fed and a roof over their head and we get a much-needed

0:19:27 > 0:19:28form of sustainable energy.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Well, sounds fantastic. I'm definitely sold. Bye, guys.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34Keep up the good work!

0:19:34 > 0:19:37- NEWSREADER:- We know Big Brother is already watching us,

0:19:37 > 0:19:41but is the government about to get even more up close and personal?

0:19:41 > 0:19:44The right to privacy is more than just keeping your e-mails safe

0:19:44 > 0:19:45from the government.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48It makes complete sense to give these abilities

0:19:48 > 0:19:50to our agencies to help make us all safer.

0:19:50 > 0:19:54Somewhere there is a pot of data which could be used to blackmail,

0:19:54 > 0:19:57it could be used to attack.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04Sorry...just looking at your phone.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09- Can I...can I just have a look?- Why?

0:20:09 > 0:20:12It's the Snooper's Charter, we can check anyone's data.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15It's a matter of national security.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Can I see your phone?- Oh, God.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21Because if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24I'm just checking your direct messages on Snapchat.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Do you let people look at your phone a lot?

0:20:26 > 0:20:29I'm just seeing from your location services that you just go home,

0:20:29 > 0:20:31- work, Tesco's Express. - What do you need that for?

0:20:33 > 0:20:35- This is your phone?- It's my phone.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37It's just that the number that I've called

0:20:37 > 0:20:40it's just going to try and sort of download all of your calls,

0:20:40 > 0:20:44- your phone history... - Why would you do that?

0:20:44 > 0:20:46In this age, we've just all got to do our bit, you know.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48- No, no.- Well, what have you got to hide?

0:20:48 > 0:20:50- I've got nothing to hide. - Are you sure?- Yeah.

0:20:50 > 0:20:54I just saw that e-mail from your doctor and I just want you to know

0:20:54 > 0:20:56that it's OK, I have herpes as well.

0:20:56 > 0:21:00Look, mate, you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14- I'm just trying to hack your server. - Why?

0:21:14 > 0:21:16I'm just trying to catch all your communications data.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18No, you can't do this, sir, sorry.

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Well, if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22You're not a terrorist, are you?

0:21:22 > 0:21:24You're not one of those weird white converts, are you?

0:21:24 > 0:21:27Because if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29OK, and I'm in.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31Boys, seriously, I mean, I'd delete all of those photos.

0:21:31 > 0:21:34You're way too old for Snapchat anyway.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Amazing what technology can do nowadays.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44I'm back at the methane farm,

0:21:44 > 0:21:46where I've arranged to speak to Rhys,

0:21:46 > 0:21:48a local lad who looks after the herd.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52So, can you talk me through what you're doing here today?

0:21:52 > 0:21:55Well, I saw this one out in the field and he was hobbling,

0:21:55 > 0:21:58so I found out that he's got a stone in his shoe,

0:21:58 > 0:22:01but he's all right to go back out to pasture, now, aren't you, boyo?

0:22:01 > 0:22:03- Cheers, mate.- All right.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Are they happy?- Well, they like the routine, you see.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09They get so excited when it comes to feeding time,

0:22:09 > 0:22:11because, well, releasing methane,

0:22:11 > 0:22:13it's a really nice feeling, isn't it?

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Could you introduce me to one?

0:22:15 > 0:22:17Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I can do that, yes.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19Bye-bye, Cyril, bye.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22I'll show you Ian. Ian.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Ian!

0:22:25 > 0:22:29So, this is Ian. One of the finest specimens we have here.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32- He pumps out a lot. Don't you, boy? - Well, yeah.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34How did you end up on the farm, Ian?

0:22:34 > 0:22:35Well, you know how it is.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38You know, me kids' mobile phone bills were racking up

0:22:38 > 0:22:42and I'm just struggling a bit, really, with all the benefit cuts.

0:22:42 > 0:22:47- And how are you all finding it now? - Good. Yeah.- Yeah?

0:22:47 > 0:22:51The food's decent and the people are lovely...

0:22:51 > 0:22:53..had to...

0:22:53 > 0:22:56- There you go.- All right. Had to...

0:22:56 > 0:22:59- Had... - IAN SIGHS

0:22:59 > 0:23:01Had to give up smoking.

0:23:01 > 0:23:03- Sure.- You could blow the whole valley up,

0:23:03 > 0:23:05with, you know, because of all the methane.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07- Really, is that true?- That's right. Yeah.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10- Nice to meet you, Ian. - Thanks a lot, Ian.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Hey, hey!

0:23:13 > 0:23:15Oi!

0:23:15 > 0:23:18So, what is it like living on a farm like this, I ask Piers,

0:23:18 > 0:23:20the farm's owner.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23How does your family deal with life on the farm?

0:23:23 > 0:23:25Well, the wife was a bit sceptical at first, but she's come around now.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28She likes to feed them their treats on Sundays - cider, beers,

0:23:28 > 0:23:2950ps sometimes.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32We've had an ingenious development in the tech,

0:23:32 > 0:23:33it's called the power bottom.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35You can actually harness methane on the move.

0:23:35 > 0:23:38Which is great. It means you can use it inside the house.

0:23:38 > 0:23:39How's he doing in maths?

0:23:39 > 0:23:42- Yeah, he's doing all right. - FARTING

0:23:42 > 0:23:44SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

0:23:44 > 0:23:48It's hypocrisy to take money from a dirty company like BP

0:23:48 > 0:23:49that are actually causing

0:23:49 > 0:23:52the same sort of thing that's shown in this exhibit.

0:23:53 > 0:23:55In this edition of Arts Week,

0:23:55 > 0:23:58we look at the historic exhibit Sunken Cities

0:23:58 > 0:24:00at the British Museum.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03It is thought that fossil fuels like oil and coal

0:24:03 > 0:24:06are heavily contributing towards climate change

0:24:06 > 0:24:07and rising sea levels.

0:24:07 > 0:24:13So, it's marvellous to see oil giant BP are sponsoring this exhibit.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15With their history of contributing to climate change

0:24:15 > 0:24:19and rising sea levels, BP are the only people

0:24:19 > 0:24:21who could have sponsored Sunken Cities.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24So, I've met up with the marvellous artist

0:24:24 > 0:24:28who's captured what sunken cities of the future may look like.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31With this piece, you've really captured that sense of horror,

0:24:31 > 0:24:33of terror that I get when thinking about the world

0:24:33 > 0:24:35that we're bequeathing to our children

0:24:35 > 0:24:37and our children's children.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39Absolutely. You see, BP converts fossils into fuel,

0:24:39 > 0:24:42but what they're really doing is converting our future

0:24:42 > 0:24:44into a watery nightmare.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48I'm sorry, sir, what do you make of this submerged art?

0:24:48 > 0:24:49Oh, right.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51You see, BP who sponsored this gallery

0:24:51 > 0:24:54wanted to put some sunken cities of the future in here,

0:24:54 > 0:24:56as well as those of the past, you know?

0:24:56 > 0:24:59Well, it's an interesting concept, isn't it?

0:24:59 > 0:25:02- Hm.- That could be the future. - MAN LAUGHS

0:25:02 > 0:25:05- What does it say to you? - Go for it, just burn.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Just burn, just burn. - Just burn, yeah.

0:25:07 > 0:25:08What does it do to you?

0:25:08 > 0:25:11How do you feel when you look at the piece?

0:25:12 > 0:25:13Sinking is what I feel.

0:25:13 > 0:25:17Sinking, like rising tides of sea levels brought on

0:25:17 > 0:25:20by British Petroleum and then just dashed.

0:25:20 > 0:25:21Excuse me.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24Oh, this is amazing, is this part of it?

0:25:24 > 0:25:28Suddenly, a completely unexpected improvised layer of performance

0:25:28 > 0:25:30took the exhibition by storm.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32Wonderful.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34You see, this is a piece of interpretive art.

0:25:34 > 0:25:36This security man will now remove the piece

0:25:36 > 0:25:37to take climate change out of our minds.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40- So we're in complete denial. - This is amazing. You are amazing.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42There's something incredible happening.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Just let him do his performance. Let him do his performance.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46So he wants me to take the climate change piece,

0:25:46 > 0:25:49put it in a dark bag and take it away.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52- So nobody thinks about... - Marvellous, marvellous.- Yes.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54Now, what we're going to need

0:25:54 > 0:25:57for this fabulous meal is a drop of nice vino.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59And fortunately for us, Tamsin Chivers

0:25:59 > 0:26:02who's our regular wine expert, and also white and middle-class,

0:26:02 > 0:26:04knows a thing or two about wine.

0:26:11 > 0:26:14Now, for Toby & Toby's fist course, I'm looking for a wine

0:26:14 > 0:26:16with a full-bodied taste

0:26:16 > 0:26:18to really compliment that creamy foie gras.

0:26:18 > 0:26:22And this lovely Chardonnay is absolutely perfect

0:26:22 > 0:26:25and you can tell it's a special wine, because it has one of these.

0:26:25 > 0:26:29Any wine that someone wants to steal must be good.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32"How will I look if I turn up at Greg's party

0:26:32 > 0:26:33"with this bottle of wine?"

0:26:33 > 0:26:35That's a question that you won't need to ask yourself

0:26:35 > 0:26:39if you go for this lovely number here which goes beautifully

0:26:39 > 0:26:41with Toby & Toby's chicken salad.

0:26:41 > 0:26:45Now, it comes in a rustic box which adds a definite sense

0:26:45 > 0:26:49of smugness, more than a hint of arriving at the party

0:26:49 > 0:26:51with a more expensive bottle than your friends,

0:26:51 > 0:26:54especially Susan, I hate Susan.

0:26:54 > 0:26:57And, finally, dessert. Always my favourite wine to choose.

0:26:57 > 0:27:00And a great one for Toby & Toby's summer fruits pudding

0:27:00 > 0:27:03is this delightful Spanish number.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10Very nice. There's a real undertone there of thinking

0:27:10 > 0:27:13that you're the life of the party, but actually being too drunk

0:27:13 > 0:27:15to realise that you're embarrassing yourself.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17That's lovely.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23- I'm also getting... - SHE SNIFFS

0:27:23 > 0:27:28I'm also getting...I'm getting divorced, did I mention that?

0:27:28 > 0:27:32Apparently I keep pissing the bed and I said to David,

0:27:32 > 0:27:35"David, listen, maybe I wouldn't have to drink so much

0:27:35 > 0:27:38"if you would just lose a little bit of weight, you fat shit."

0:27:38 > 0:27:41And he didn't like that one bit, did he? Oh, no.

0:27:41 > 0:27:44Off he went to the football, like he always fucking does.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47MUSIC: Buffalo Stance by Neneh Cherry

0:27:47 > 0:27:51Well, I guess we can all agree that the meal has been a roaring success.

0:27:51 > 0:27:53Well, we'll see you next week

0:27:53 > 0:27:54on Gastro Kitchen.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56- Bye.- Bye-bye.

0:27:56 > 0:27:57# They all came running

0:27:57 > 0:27:59# They were making noise, manhandling toys

0:27:59 > 0:28:02# That's the girls on the block with the nasty curls

0:28:02 > 0:28:04# Wearing padded bras sucking beers through straws

0:28:04 > 0:28:07# Dropping down their drawers, where did you get yours?

0:28:07 > 0:28:09# Gigolo Huh, sukka?

0:28:09 > 0:28:11# Gigolo

0:28:11 > 0:28:13# Gigolo Huh, sukka?

0:28:15 > 0:28:17# Who's looking good today?

0:28:17 > 0:28:20# Who's looking good in every way?

0:28:20 > 0:28:22# No style rookie

0:28:22 > 0:28:26# You better watch, don't mess with me

0:28:26 > 0:28:29# No money man could win my love. #