0:00:02 > 0:00:05Loads of people tell me I've got the toughest job in town.
0:00:05 > 0:00:09There's the name in lights. That's me, stand-up comedian Rhod Gilbert.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12I've done this venue before, but it terrifies me every time.
0:00:12 > 0:00:17In about two hours, there's going to be just shy of 4,000 people in here.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Al-fresco dining in Cardiff!
0:00:22 > 0:00:27There's waiters with frosted eyebrows fighting their way to the tables.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29"Spaghetti carbonara?!
0:00:29 > 0:00:33"Spaghetti carbonara?! I'll get another one!"
0:00:33 > 0:00:36'But I reckon I'd find a proper job much harder.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38'Now I'm going to find out if I'm right.'
0:00:38 > 0:00:42So for three days I've got to be a binman.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47Poorly paid, stinking, filthy, smelly, unappreciated job.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Great(!)
0:00:55 > 0:00:57'This is day one of being a binman.'
0:00:57 > 0:01:01It starts a little bit earlier than I'm used to.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03That's more like what I'm used to.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05I usually go to bed about three, four in the morning.
0:01:05 > 0:01:11I haven't got up this early for about four or five years, since I had a proper job.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Oh, God!
0:01:15 > 0:01:19I put those bins out, and that was hell.
0:01:19 > 0:01:26'I couldn't wait to get stuck in and rush down to bin HQ just outside Cardiff to meet my new boss Tony,
0:01:26 > 0:01:29'or Lord of the Bins, as I'd later call him.'
0:01:29 > 0:01:32- I'm very, very excited(!)- Rhod.
0:01:32 > 0:01:38- Hiya.- Tony.- Hello, mate. - Good afternoon, mate. It's quarter past ten, and what time did we say?
0:01:38 > 0:01:41- Am I late, am I? - Yeah, you're very late.- Am I?
0:01:41 > 0:01:46- I won't give you a bollocking in front of these people. I'll do it in the office, OK?- OK.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48You've ballsed everything up, if I'm honest.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51It's not very good, coming in very late. You've put everything behind.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55You've got to be inducted properly before you go on any vehicle. Are you physically fit?
0:01:55 > 0:01:58I don't look that unfit, but I'm unbelievably unfit.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03- I'll get you fit by the end of the week, then, because the refuse is a good job.- How hard can it be?!
0:02:03 > 0:02:06We've had boys that are super-fit, rugby captains, everything.
0:02:06 > 0:02:11- They're walking five to ten miles and lifting 20-ton... Do you know what I mean?- Of crap?- Of crap.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15- A couple of days, they don't want to be doing it. It is a hard job. - Oh, God.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18This is going to be a disaster.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22'After Tony's motivational speech, I was even keener to get started(!)
0:02:22 > 0:02:26'But I had to see Paul and Elsbeth from Health and Safety first.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30'Before I could earn my bin wings, I needed to know the potential dangers ahead.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32'It was the stuff of James Bond.'
0:02:32 > 0:02:35'..on the back of a full compactor without checking with your supervisor.'
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Oh!- 'Now look what's happened!' - Look at that!
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Ribena everywhere! The street's ruined!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44'The other lad won't be getting a bonus today.'
0:02:46 > 0:02:49'Next stop, Next for binmen.'
0:02:49 > 0:02:54Getting my protective clothing. Things to stop glass going in my legs and big protective boots.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58All they're going to have left is a pair of flip-flops and a bikini, you watch.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01'Binmen often come home with broken glass, hypodermic needles
0:03:01 > 0:03:04'and rats sticking out of them, and have to walk miles every day.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08'So there's no point dressing like Beyonce.'
0:03:08 > 0:03:12- Can you bring an air freshener out with you as well?- What do you do with the air freshener?
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Is this one of the induction ceremonies? Do I have to bend over?! - TONY LAUGHS
0:03:15 > 0:03:18You know you're in trouble when a binman's sprayed aerosol in your trainers.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22'And now, the really fun bit - lifting a bag.'
0:03:22 > 0:03:29What we're looking at with manual handling is working with your body moving in a natural way.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- Don't want to put all the strain onto your back like you were stooping.- Yeah, not like that.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37You don't want to put all the strain onto your knees, so you wouldn't squat down to pick something up,
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- because you've got to get back up again.- Right.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42So you just want gentle bending of the whole body.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46So you're coming into the bags, one in each hand, and off.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Let me have a go, and you judge me.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- Certainly.- Relax the legs, relax the hips, relax the back.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Fluid movement. Don't stop.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Something like that?
0:03:55 > 0:03:59But you just want to have a bit more natural movement than that, don't you?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01That's what we're looking at.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Nice relaxed knees, hips back.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07- I was perhaps a little bit too conscious of what I'm doing.- Yes.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- Oh...- That's it, perfect.- Perfect?
0:04:13 > 0:04:14And again.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- That's it. Avoid any twisting.- Ten?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Ten for that.
0:04:22 > 0:04:27'But it's not all laughs on the bins. There are dangerous downsides.'
0:04:27 > 0:04:31I can see fingers, legs and other stuff just getting caught in this.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33It gets past there...
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Jesus! Lucky I had my high-vis jacket on there.
0:04:37 > 0:04:43- Lucky I had my tabard. That could have injured somebody, that. - That don't take no prisoners.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45It's like David Attenborough. You know when he gets close
0:04:45 > 0:04:50to a whale and it's that awesome, "Whoa, look at the awesome power and majesty of that beast"?
0:04:50 > 0:04:53That's what it's like being next to this bin lorry.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55And Paul, obviously.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Pretty nervous about the whole thing, really.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03If I start at 6.30, I'll be looking for a way out by 7.00.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07It's like doing the Nike 10K run, only every ten yards,
0:05:07 > 0:05:11somebody throws a bucket of vomit in your face.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14'The streets of Barry are almost vertical.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19'Worried about my fitness, Lord of the Bins Tony made me walk some of the route ahead of the big day.'
0:05:19 > 0:05:22- What if I don't make it? - You won't be doing Wednesday.
0:05:22 > 0:05:27Walking up to those bags is the most exercise I've done in probably three or four years.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31My calves are genuinely hurting. How many miles am I going to have to do on Wednesday?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34- About eight, nine miles. - Eight, nine miles of this!
0:05:34 > 0:05:36THEY LAUGH
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Well, it's as hard as it looks.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44You know when you get to the top of Snowdon, there's a cafe for a cup of tea and a bit of cake?
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- Is that going to be waiting for me when I finish on Wednesday? - Not exactly.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51'Not exactly, no. I'd end up here, at the waste transfer site.
0:05:51 > 0:05:57'I haven't seen a cafe this bad since my uncle opened a tea room during his divorce proceedings.'
0:05:57 > 0:05:59You can't even smell that, can you?
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- You can't smell that thing.- No!
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Can I just ask you, can you smell that?- Not at all.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15'And I hadn't smelt this much rubbish since I was shown round the BBC Wales archives.'
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- It doesn't even smell. - Come on, it DOES smell!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21You're loading nearly double that, Rhod, on Wednesday.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23I think it's pretty amazing I'm going to shift that much.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Well, you say I'm going to shift that much, I can't see it myself.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Give me the juicy stuff. What have you found in here?
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Joe Public, they'll chuck anything out.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33They think, because they've got a black bin, they can put whatever they like in it. Television screens.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37- At certain sites, we've found bodies in there, even. - I shouldn't laugh!
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Some vagrants and the like, they actually sleep in bins.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- And they've only been found when they've pitched up here? - Yeah, when they come to tip out.
0:06:43 > 0:06:49There's some top-notch stuff in here. Look, That Touch Of Mink, Cary Grant and Doris Day.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Can I have that?- You can't. No, you can't, sorry, Rhod.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- It's classed as waste and it has to stay here...- Yeah, but nobody's going to mind if I take that.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59If anyone takes anything off the facility, it's classed as totting.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02This could be highly confidential, this.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06It's probably some government database! Benefit cheats in Wales!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08There you are, look. Two pence!
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- Hey, put that down! - It's got to stay there, hasn't it!
0:07:12 > 0:07:16If he sees you with that, he'll be down here like a ton of bricks for that two pence!
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Tony, the idiot, told me to get here for seven in the morning.
0:07:23 > 0:07:28I'm supposed to meet a waste enforcement team, or something.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31'The waste enforcement team seemingly never sleeps.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34'To give me a different perspective on waste management,
0:07:34 > 0:07:38'I was here to meet Brian and Steve, the Cagney and Lacey of dog mess.
0:07:38 > 0:07:43'They knew more about dog poo than Scooby-Doo's gardener.' Is it really necessary to be this early?
0:07:43 > 0:07:47- Yes, it is. - Is it? Why?- You'd be surprised. - Can't we just pick it up later?
0:07:47 > 0:07:51- Hello, Steve.- How are you, mate? - I'm all right, yeah.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be a poop scooper.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Ta-da!
0:07:56 > 0:08:02The hat is model's own, but the rest of it is council issue.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06I really feel like having a walk along a beach and talking to people about dog poo(!)
0:08:06 > 0:08:08A bit of education today.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Speaking to dog owners on the beaches.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15'Brian and Steve, Turdinator and Turdinator II,
0:08:15 > 0:08:17'ensured that the public knew where they stood on dog foul.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21'For the wee hours of that morning, I was their apprentice.'
0:08:21 > 0:08:22Let's just keep an eye on that dog.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26If anything comes out of the back of that, I'm on it like a shot.
0:08:28 > 0:08:34If people dog foul and they don't remove the foul, they'll be hit with a £75 fixed penalty notice.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36This is more like it!
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- How are you?- Very well, thank you. - Nice and early. - Yes, nice and breezy.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44What I'm hoping here is we can slap a fine on this lady.
0:08:44 > 0:08:50I tell you what, that dog looks cute in his little pink collar, but don't be fooled.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54Going on round there, there's only one thing going on in his head,
0:08:54 > 0:08:56thinking, "Where can I take a poo round here?"
0:08:56 > 0:09:00Is it the ten second rule? How long has the poo got to be on the floor?
0:09:00 > 0:09:04If they walk away, they're not going to pick it up, obviously.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06If they don't pick it up forthwith, I think it says...
0:09:06 > 0:09:10Forthwith? How long is that, though? Cos if they say, "I'm going to do it in a minute..."
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Let it hit the ground first, though!
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- Look at him there now! - He's so enthusiastic in his job!
0:09:16 > 0:09:18He's smelt something!
0:09:18 > 0:09:22Look, he's picked up a scent! Is it in this area, or is it a few miles away?
0:09:22 > 0:09:25He had one one day, and we weren't sure whether it was chocolate or dog's mess.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27I tasted it, I thought, "It's chocolate."
0:09:27 > 0:09:30He tasted it, he said, "No, it's dog's mess."
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Good job we didn't step in it!
0:09:32 > 0:09:37I tell you what, the banter on the waste enforcement team...!
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Look out! Yes!
0:09:40 > 0:09:43God! The holy grail!
0:09:43 > 0:09:47- That's not dog mess, actually. - To me, on the first day, rookie... - Wait there.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- It's seagull mess.- Seagull, is it?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- That's no use to us, seagull. - That's not an offence.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56If you speak to the next person with a dog...
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- You're from the Vale of Glamorgan Council...- From the Vale of Glamorgan Council...
0:09:59 > 0:10:04- ..and you're doing an exercise, speaking to all dog walkers. - Let's go and Taser this dog walker.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07I'm not doing him - he's got an Alsatian and he's a big bloke!
0:10:07 > 0:10:13- Have you lived in Barry all your life, then?- All my life.- Do you carry dog-fouling bags?- Always.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- Thank you very much for your time. Enjoy your walk.- And you. Cheers. Bye.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Why didn't you want to do that one? He was a lovely chap.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21You've got the patter, though, you see?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Do you see the way you worked with him there?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26"Barry all your life?" You were working your magic.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- I haven't got them people skills you've got.- I think you have, mate.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32- No, I'd have Tasered him straightaway, just on the off chance.- You'd have what?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- Tasered him.- No, you can't do that!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Do you get abuse from the public?
0:10:37 > 0:10:41An elderly lady was nose to nose with me just a couple of weeks ago.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43- Really.- Elderly lady?! - Very aggressive to me.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47She started verbally abusing me. She turned around and said, "I have no bags."
0:10:47 > 0:10:50I said, "I have some bags." She said, "If you have some bags, pick them up yourself."
0:10:50 > 0:10:54Couldn't you let her off, little old lady? Couldn't you have just turned a blind eye?
0:10:54 > 0:10:55If you'd seen the size of it...
0:10:55 > 0:10:59Right?! You couldn't have turned a blind eye to it!
0:10:59 > 0:11:02He's definitely got the walk, hasn't he?!
0:11:02 > 0:11:04- How long's that?- It's stuck in!
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- What dog was it from? - Little dog.- Yeah.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10- Four legs.- Yeah.- And a small arse!
0:11:10 > 0:11:12THEY LAUGH
0:11:15 > 0:11:18'The moment I'd been waiting for was fast approaching.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21'It looked like I was finally going to get my hands on some poo.'
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Whoa!
0:11:23 > 0:11:26'Before I dived in, there were a few final checks of my equipment.'
0:11:26 > 0:11:31Has this got holes in it like a normal supermarket bag? Look how much there is!
0:11:31 > 0:11:32It's a double-bagger.
0:11:32 > 0:11:33Argh...!
0:11:33 > 0:11:39- You can't do half a job, mate. - Urgh! YOU have that. Like a little dessert for you.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Littering!
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Run! See you later!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Brian, the dog's gone behind the column!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Move it! There's only one reason a dog would go behind a column!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Attention, all dog owners.
0:11:54 > 0:11:59I would like to remind you that it is your responsibility to pick up your dogs' foul.
0:11:59 > 0:12:05You can use your hands if you like, but we have bags here at the office. And now, Lionel Richie!
0:12:05 > 0:12:07- Dog walker.- Morning.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11Morning. Can we have a quick chat? I know you always carry bags.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Do you know you can get them for free?
0:12:14 > 0:12:15Do you want some for free?
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Brian should have been doing this. He should have told you that, really.
0:12:17 > 0:12:22- If I had any left in my pockets, I would, but I've given them all away. - Enjoy your walk.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25You should have given her the bags. What are you doing?!
0:12:25 > 0:12:30- My pockets are empty!- You're supposed to be giving out bags! You're supposed to be the guru!
0:12:30 > 0:12:31I had to step in there and save that situation.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Brian was all over the place, floundering about.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- What's the problem, Bri? - He fell in love, I think. He was floundering.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42'After a few hours, the number two musketeers had the beach under control.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45'Suddenly, an urgent call came in.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49'On the other side of town, someone had taken a dump of a different sort.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51'A flytipper had done his business in the woods.
0:12:51 > 0:12:56'We Starsky and Hutch-ed it over to the crime scene, only to find we'd missed the criminals by seconds.'
0:12:56 > 0:13:00You can see this is a beautiful area, lovely autumnal trees.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03We've had a tip-off from a flytipper.
0:13:03 > 0:13:08Ironic! I don't know whether he's upset that they've been flytipping on his patch.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Before we open any bags, we'll take a photograph.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13- Is this for your personal album? - No, it's not for the album.
0:13:13 > 0:13:19This is, if we need to prosecute anybody, the photograph is shown, taken in situ.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Do you want me and Brian in it like that?
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Or not?
0:13:23 > 0:13:26No? He's gone very serious, hasn't he?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Looking for evidence of origin now.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Look at the date. It's recent. Two months ago. Almost to the day.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Get a photo of that. Hold up.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- A bag for this, Bri?- Clothes peg.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38We know she hasn't got a tumble dryer.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44It's a sock.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46It says "Sunday" on it.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50All you need to do is go round on a Sunday, see who answers the door barefoot.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51And then Taser them.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Looking for evidence, looking for leads. It's all a bit Cluedo.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Definitely more exciting.
0:13:56 > 0:14:02With a dog going to the toilet, there's very few clues or leads to follow, really.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04It's an open-and-shut case.
0:14:04 > 0:14:09'Then, in a flash, it went from Cluedo to Police, Camera, Action!
0:14:09 > 0:14:13'Brian heard a van and wasn't about to let the flytippers get away.'
0:14:13 > 0:14:15He's got a photographic memory for numbers.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18He'll clock that now and he'll never forget it.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22'With Brian's mind-blowing photographic memory, the crook stood no chance.'
0:14:22 > 0:14:24It was LE53 something.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26- Bollocks!- Photographic memory(!)
0:14:26 > 0:14:29That may well have been people caught in the act.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Never mind tracing it back, forensic gloves...
0:14:31 > 0:14:34It looked like 11L or something like that, but...
0:14:34 > 0:14:35You didn't get it?
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- No, I didn't get it. - How did you manage to not get it?
0:14:37 > 0:14:42- It was just there.- He obviously had been flytipping and he raced away from me as I was going up.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45They were obviously down here dumping some new stuff.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47This is Pete Doherty's house.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51- OK, Rhod, so we didn't have a bad morning, then. - Well, didn't have a good one.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55- Not very often they get away from Brian.- He doesn't know we didn't get his registration, does he?
0:14:56 > 0:15:01- And...- That's true. So what we're relying on is flytippers thinking you're better than you are?
0:15:01 > 0:15:04The flytippers are thinking, "They can't be that rubbish they didn't get our registration plate."
0:15:04 > 0:15:09- We're relying on the flytippers overestimating us. Brilliant(!) Let's go.- Overestimating?!
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Let's go to the pub!
0:15:12 > 0:15:16'As the amazing memory man and Steve headed back to the crime lab,
0:15:16 > 0:15:21'I caught up with Tony for a last-minute pep talk ahead of the real challenge.'
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Tomorrow morning, yeah, nice and early start, are you happy with that?
0:15:24 > 0:15:28- Over the moon, yeah(!)- Nice six o'clock start won't do you any harm.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Yeah. It's like all my Christmases...
0:15:30 > 0:15:36You know, you wake up seven hours earlier than you normally do.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39It'll be the best day, a day you'll remember for the rest of your life.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42It will be. It is going to be a day to remember, no doubt about it.
0:15:42 > 0:15:47'I was worried that it was going to be a day to remember for all the wrong reasons.
0:15:47 > 0:15:52'In truth, I was genuinely terrified that the full bin run was going to kill a wimp like me.'
0:15:55 > 0:15:59After some pretty sexy dreams about bin juice and broken glass,
0:15:59 > 0:16:00my big day dawned before dawn.
0:16:00 > 0:16:05It's 5.30 in the morning. It's pitch dark, it's the middle of the night.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09I can hardly speak, it's too early.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12'The foreman broke the good news.'
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Simon Chilcott, how's it going?
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Nice to meet you.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19You've got one of the heavy areas, probably about 18 to 20 ton today.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Nick!
0:16:21 > 0:16:23'Nick was to be my driver for the day.
0:16:23 > 0:16:29'Curiously, he hadn't been in my sexy dreams, but this was reality.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31'While he was driving, I would be walking and lifting.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35'12 miles on foot, lifting 18 tons of rubbish, and to top it off,
0:16:35 > 0:16:37'Nick's very own brand of aftershave.'
0:16:37 > 0:16:42Cat's pee, fox's pee, dog's pee, human pee, vomit.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49When I went to see my careers adviser in school, he said, "What do you want to do?"
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I thought, "The minimum requirement is, I want to do a job where,
0:16:51 > 0:16:54"if I soil myself at work, somebody notices."
0:16:54 > 0:16:58I could soil myself halfway through the working day, nobody would even notice.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00No. Part and parcel of the job.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Pilates!
0:17:06 > 0:17:08LAUGHTER
0:17:08 > 0:17:14'As Nick warmed Ethel up, I noticed something that made me even more apprehensive.'
0:17:14 > 0:17:20When I had my induction, this was down, so the height was about here that I had to throw a bag into.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22It was just above my waist.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26It does make a difference. Physically, it is harder.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28That's a real worry.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34'As we hit the road, I got to know my partners in grime -
0:17:34 > 0:17:36'two of the best, Paul and Archie.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39'Together, we were Barry's very own Rat Pack.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42'Where we were going could be packed with rats.'
0:17:42 > 0:17:46We're off. We're away, we're on the streets, there's no time to talk.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50'After about half a dozen of the thousands of bags I had to shift that day,
0:17:50 > 0:17:53'the new loading height was causing me problems.'
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I've had a bit of an accident.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00That was about bag number six or seven I was throwing there.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09I'm presuming Archie knows these ladies.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12All part of the service. See that? Turn up, empty their bin, give them a kiss.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Two down, how many to go?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21At the moment, this is feeling a lot easier than what I do, in a way.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26I haven't got the adrenaline and nerves and the stress that I get in my own job.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Just watch him through the gap here.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Yeah, you've got half an inch.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Easy half inch.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34And surprisingly, I never felt dirty.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37There was a free shower with every bag.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40Every time, the spray.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Every time.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Those droplets landing on my face, probably looks quite sexy.
0:18:46 > 0:18:51Those sexy droplets... of sunlit joy.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52It's actually bin juice.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58See that? Learner drivers eyeing up the binmen.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Keep your eyes on the road, you're learning.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Feasting her eyes on my binman-ly form.
0:19:03 > 0:19:09Look at this one. Practically getting out the back window. # Girls love a bit of bin juice! #
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Oh... Get in!
0:19:12 > 0:19:16There's traffic waiting up the street and they're watching me doing hula hoops.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20They're not going to be happy. ..Eh?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- I say, you do a good job. - Yeah, somebody's got to do it, haven't they?
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Some of the members of the public are saying to me, "Doing a great job, you're doing a good job."
0:19:27 > 0:19:30I keep saying, "Somebody's got to do it!"
0:19:32 > 0:19:35They told me this was a young man's game. No offence!
0:19:35 > 0:19:39- I AM young! - How old are you now?- 39.- 39?
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Archie's two years younger than me.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47That can't just be the bins!
0:19:58 > 0:20:01'We'd only been on the road a couple of hours,
0:20:01 > 0:20:05'but I was losing the will to live. Or at least, to be a binman.'
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Basically, I'm starting to flag a bit. The enthusiasm's gone.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16I went through a bit of a purple patch earlier where...
0:20:16 > 0:20:20I got into it, I got quite excited, I think we might have been going down hill, the sun was on us.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22'That energy's gone.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25'Now I'm running out of steam.'
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Thanks.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32A couple more streets, and then we'll put it into another gear.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Don't make it go faster than I'm going!
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Nick said the word from the back is I'm going a bit slow.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40- You grassed me in! - I haven't grassed you in at all!
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Right, you're not going to keep up with me now.
0:20:43 > 0:20:48- Yeah?- I'm going to set the pace round here. There's a new kid in town. Step aside.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52I'll go on ahead!
0:20:52 > 0:20:55See, look, where's the lorry?
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Come on, I've got the bins ready - there's no lorry!
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Which way are we going now? Are we going left?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Tell me in whistles.
0:21:09 > 0:21:15Yeah, straight on. Yeah. There we are. Then left, then right. Breakfast about 10.30?
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Could one of you wipe my eye, my right eye?
0:21:28 > 0:21:33Cos I was throwing a bin bag into the back and as usual you get the spray back. This is burning.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Something just sprayed back in my face and it's burning.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40Quadruple bagger.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48I was trying to do the universal language of stopping binman, which is...
0:21:51 > 0:21:55A hamster's cage. He's not long past it, this hamster.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Let's go! Come on! Wa-hey!
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Hide behind this caravan.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08Just having a little breather.
0:22:11 > 0:22:16- Come on, we've had a break by now! - The caravan was longer than I thought!- We've had a break by now!
0:22:16 > 0:22:20- He'll get a hiding in a minute, that Nick.- I got the supervisor coming out now with torches,
0:22:20 > 0:22:22cos we're any later, it'll be dark, so...
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Move away from the sun, then!
0:22:25 > 0:22:27'The lorry was full.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29'I was hoping that would mean home time, but no.
0:22:29 > 0:22:37'Like masochistic Tellytubbies, the boys wanted to do it again, again, again.'
0:22:37 > 0:22:42Dropping off what we've put in there so far so we can get out there and fill it up again.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Meanwhile, WE'RE going to fill up.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50I keep putting my hands on it. These hands could start the plague, to be honest.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Come on, you've got another three hours' work yet!
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- I'm stiffening up now. - Shouldn't have stopped.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06'The mid-morning break was one of the best ten minutes of my life,
0:23:06 > 0:23:08'but it took the wind right out of my sails.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12'The next few hours were a mind-numbing, nausea-inducing slog,
0:23:12 > 0:23:15'although there was the odd high point.'
0:23:15 > 0:23:18That's literally bin-juice waterfall. Look at that.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21It's quite beautiful in its own way, isn't it? If you're a rat,
0:23:21 > 0:23:24this probably looks...
0:23:24 > 0:23:27a little bit like Florida might look to me.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Three quarters of the way through now.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33I've loosened up again after that brunch break which got me all stiff.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36I didn't want to get going again after that.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38But I've got going again now.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40I'm on about fifth wind.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44'By mid-afternoon, I was losing the plot completely.'
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Come on!
0:23:46 > 0:23:50'I had to make this interesting somehow, so I invented Strictly Binmen.'
0:23:50 > 0:23:54MUSIC: March from "The Nutcracker" by Tchaikovsky
0:24:10 > 0:24:15Jump in here with Paul, have a look. That's a typical bin area for the flats.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Mind you, there's some good stuff in here as well(!)
0:24:25 > 0:24:30I don't think people realise that somebody's actually got to come down here
0:24:30 > 0:24:33and go through this and take it away.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36I'll give them the benefit of the doubt for now. They don't realise.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39A nappy that somebody put near the bins.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43That'll do - just put it near the bins(!) Your kid just had a dump, has he?
0:24:43 > 0:24:46I'll get it, you put your feet up.
0:24:46 > 0:24:50Somebody, as you can see, has dumped a television.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52I'm going to do this anyway.
0:24:52 > 0:24:59Like anyone is really going to come in here, see the TV they've dumped there, see the sticker on it saying,
0:24:59 > 0:25:02"Oh, we can't take this, it's electrical goods,"
0:25:02 > 0:25:04and they're going to do something about it!
0:25:04 > 0:25:09Even though I know that in 41 years, this is the most pointless thing I've ever done in my life.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10And I say that
0:25:10 > 0:25:13as somebody who watched the first three series of Baywatch.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Absolutely pointless.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Ah, well, that sorted the thirst out.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32See that clock tower? See it in the distance?
0:25:32 > 0:25:36That's all the streets we've done this morning.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39That is surveying
0:25:39 > 0:25:42everything that we own, bin-wise.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47That's quite impressive, what we've done.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Look at that.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52It's all right doing it once, isn't it?
0:25:52 > 0:25:54He's only ever done it once, that fella.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57You try doing 20 tons of it in one day.
0:25:59 > 0:26:04'I felt like I'd been standing in front of a jet engine while someone fed vomit into the back of it.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07'But I was determined to push through to the end,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10'especially with Dr Evil checking up on me.'
0:26:10 > 0:26:12The boss is here now - Tony.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16We're almost there. So he can stick it! Eh?
0:26:16 > 0:26:17We're going to do it.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19HE WHISTLES Whoa!
0:26:20 > 0:26:24- The home stretch now, all right? The last half hour.- Yeah.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- The last half hour.- Last half hour. - Let's go for it, yeah?
0:26:27 > 0:26:29'As we approached the finishing line,
0:26:29 > 0:26:33'I was overwhelmed with respect for these boys, braving the elements,
0:26:33 > 0:26:36'facing every hazard you could think of, and a few you can't...'
0:26:36 > 0:26:40I'm going to have to give you a hand, Rhod, so these boys can go home, all right?
0:26:40 > 0:26:44'..getting little appreciation, sometimes even abuse from the public,
0:26:44 > 0:26:46'and all for just above minimum wage.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49'If I ever become Prime Minister, I'll make this national service.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53'Everyone would have to do the bins for one day, to see what it's like.
0:26:53 > 0:26:58'Unless they were a masochistic Tellytubby, no-one would have to do it again, again.'
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Rhod, this is the last couple of bags, mate.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02All right?
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Let's get the bunting out, boys!
0:27:04 > 0:27:09Can I just say, nice of you not to put the back down for him to throw higher!
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Good idea, that, none of them picked up on it!
0:27:12 > 0:27:14'It was finally over.
0:27:14 > 0:27:20'I was aching like I'd been locked in a two-berth caravan with the Kray twins.'
0:27:20 > 0:27:24- Celebrating. Thanks, Paul. Thanks, Archie.- All the best to you. - Good work.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28- Thank you, Tony. - Thank you, Rhod, a pleasure. Thank you, Arch.- Thank you, Archie!
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Hey, have the rest of the day off!
0:27:33 > 0:27:37'I may have smelt like a rabbit with a stomach upset, but I'd done it.'
0:27:39 > 0:27:41I'm still alive.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45Those boys have got to do it all again tomorrow at dawn.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48And there's one massive...
0:27:48 > 0:27:52massively positive thought running through my mind.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55I'll be in bed.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57- My mucker!- Thanks, man. - All right?- Yeah.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59See you, Ethel.
0:28:01 > 0:28:02It's like hugging you!
0:28:02 > 0:28:06'To thank me for putting them two and a half hours behind schedule,
0:28:06 > 0:28:08'the boys had some parting gifts for me,
0:28:08 > 0:28:10'which I knew exactly what to do with.'
0:28:10 > 0:28:14Look at that. "Vale of Glamorgan - no hypodermics."
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Eh? That is lovely.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20- I don't think you've got any strength to open it! - I haven't got the strength!
0:28:20 > 0:28:22It's actually a gold litter picker.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25The only gold litter picker in the Vale of Glamorgan, and it's all yours.
0:28:25 > 0:28:30I tell you what I'm going to do before I do anything else, wash my hands.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33That's what I want to do more than anything. More than tea, more than anything.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36Come on, Tony, come and help me wash my hands.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38That's all I'm washing, mind!
0:28:45 > 0:28:48Subtitling by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:48 > 0:28:51E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk