0:00:02 > 0:00:04I'm Rhod Gilbert, stand-up comedian.
0:00:04 > 0:00:09People tell me I've got the toughest job in town, but I'm sure I'll find other things far more difficult,
0:00:09 > 0:00:13so I'm ditching my regular job and trying something completely different.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15This is my work experience.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17This week, I'm a firefighter.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19This programme contains adult humour.
0:01:20 > 0:01:25After a gruelling morning rescuing dead cats, sitting around and playing darts,
0:01:25 > 0:01:30it was off to South Wales Fire and Rescue Service to meet Andy Marles.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32You could tell been a firefighter for years because
0:01:32 > 0:01:38he picked me up like a biscuit and dunked me in the training centre, ready to start my apprenticeship.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42As you can see over there, that's one of our training buildings, simulating a fire in there.
0:01:42 > 0:01:47- There's firefighters training on it as if it was a real fire.- Right. I can't go in like this.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49No, you don't go in like that.
0:01:49 > 0:01:54The closest I've come to fighting a fire is bleeding a radiator,
0:01:54 > 0:01:56so my mentor, John, has his work cut out.
0:01:56 > 0:02:01Nice to meet you. What we've got here for you is our corporate wear.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05- We'll have to have a chat about the shaving.- What do you mean?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08You need to be clean-shaven around this area here.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11You can have a goatee or shave it all off, the choice is yours.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14If you want to get that on...
0:02:14 > 0:02:17I feel like a prisoner, for some reason.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21You'll get a right telling off if it's not ironed as well.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Because we are in a uniformed service.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26- I'll bring it through and you can do it for me.- No, you're doing it.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29We didn't ask you to be a fireman, you asked to be one.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Yeah, I wanted to be a fire fighter, not a maid!
0:02:32 > 0:02:35You'll have to get that tea-cosy off your head too.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39- Stick it on a teapot because all you do is sit around and drink tea, I've heard.- You reckon, do you?
0:02:39 > 0:02:45I just hope having a goatee doesn't make me into as big a turd as John.
0:02:45 > 0:02:50- Clearly a facist.- One ironed shirt with creases in the correct places.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Better not be in the sleeves, John.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- They are in the sleeves. - I don't like that much.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56That can be rubbed off as well, can it?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59This goatee isn't going to make me into a turd like you, is it?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01No.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06This is where we'll get our fire kit on.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10We talked about the hands in pockets, mate. Thanks.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Boots - steel toecaps, solid metal plate at the bottom as well.
0:03:14 > 0:03:19This is our fire helmet, we've got an incorporated torch at the front of it. Leggings and gloves here.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Jacket?- It's not a jacket, it's called a tunic.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- Why do you call it a tunic? - That's why.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Collectively, this is what we call our PPE,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30personal protective equipment.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33So we're trying to fit you up with the best protection we can give you,
0:03:33 > 0:03:38- and through training, knowledge and understanding of the equipment you'll be using...- TKU.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40- TKU?- Training, knowledge and understanding?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- I love that. You can have that.- Thanks.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45We need to get this equipment on as quick as we can.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Mrs Jones is dangling out of that window, and you're faffing around.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53You should have said Mrs Jones was dangling out of the window, you didn't say it was an emergency.
0:03:53 > 0:03:58- That's why we're putting our kit on, aren't we? - Does the phone go or something?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00The bells will go down.
0:04:00 > 0:04:01- Ah!- What's happened there?
0:04:01 > 0:04:04I've got a pierced nipple and I just got it caught.
0:04:04 > 0:04:10What you've got going through there, we need to get rid of, so we'll have to take that out.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12I've got some special cutting equipment.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16- You'll get somebody to go through this with a circular saw? - I'll pull it off now.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Haven't you got any anaesthetic?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Arghhhh!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Aaargh!
0:04:23 > 0:04:26- It's only been in there a week. - What's up with you?
0:04:26 > 0:04:30That's a normal nipple there, look at that! Compare and contrast. Aargh!
0:04:32 > 0:04:36Argh, argh, argh!
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Aaaargh!
0:04:40 > 0:04:45TKU - training, knowledge and understanding - all put into practice there.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49My robo-tit contravened health and safety, but two complete strangers going at my nipple
0:04:49 > 0:04:53like a piece of flat pack furniture was an unsettling start to the day.
0:04:53 > 0:04:59- It's getting tight, they've got things like this in the Prague torture museum.- I've not been there.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08How come I've got these namby-pamby bright green ones?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10These are worked gloves.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14They were like yours but I've been to fires.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18We're going to move onto the drill ground to do some selection tests
0:05:18 > 0:05:21that we give to our potential fire fighters.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26We are trying to put you under as much pressure as we can in a controlled environment.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28We do get serious out there.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Right? There's no time for mucking around out there.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36But it is serious. So if we move over there now.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- Have I got to run all the way down there?- Yes, all the way down to those blue cones.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Shall I warm up or something?
0:05:42 > 0:05:46- If you want a little warm-up, by all means.- How do you warm up?
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Go!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51My leg has gone already!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Up the top. Back back to me and then back up.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54Keep going.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Faster.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Back up and back to me.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Putting in extra bits now.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Tight...pace.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11Down.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Well done!
0:06:13 > 0:06:17So we'll add a 10kg weight to that which brings it up.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- All the way up.- Oh, my nipple!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Extend your arms up.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24I told you they were fascists, look at that.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27They tried to hide it behind here but there're not fooling anyone.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34This is like getting off with a girl in Swansea!
0:06:34 > 0:06:41We do what we call a Hose Friday where the firefighters are shown how to run out a hose...
0:06:41 > 0:06:43What are you laughing for?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Hose Friday!
0:06:45 > 0:06:49So, potentially, they could run out this hose 30 to 40 times each.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- I bet they look forward to that!- No.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Good. Get your hands moving.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Right the way to the end.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58The fire whippet is off.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04They call me the fire whippet.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06OK, fire whippet, keep going.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Roll it over the top.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Good, place it down and stand up straight.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Stand up straight.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- Stand-up, breathe in.- Oh, my bum!
0:07:18 > 0:07:22That was hard. This kit is very heavy.
0:07:22 > 0:07:27That was like one of the worst episodes of World's Strongest Man I've ever seen.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31I'm about as fit as a panda comfort eating, and I'm scared of heights
0:07:31 > 0:07:36but next it's John's ladder class - climb up, leave go, how many fingers am I holding up?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38I'm sure he's just taking the piss now.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41But I owe it to my traumatised nipple to carry on.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43- How many fingers, John?- Three.
0:07:43 > 0:07:48Yeah, you got that. Let's go for it before I change my mind.
0:07:48 > 0:07:53- This is all right so far. - Yeah, well done.- Force it in there.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55You'd better be holding that rope!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Where's the crash mat, there's not even a mat!
0:08:01 > 0:08:06I'm up high enough now, I think. Ah, I don't like it now.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07How many fingers am I holding up?
0:08:07 > 0:08:12- I've got other things on my mind than how many fingers you're holding up. - Less talking, more looking.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16- Hands off!- There we go.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- That's not very nice. - Look to your right.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21How many fingers?
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- Two.- Well done!
0:08:26 > 0:08:31With Strictly Ladders over, I'm introduced to another tool of the trade. No not John, he is a tool,
0:08:31 > 0:08:34but I'm talking about the breathing apparatus.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37I feel like I'm on a Ryanair scuba-diving holiday.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Hold your breath, take a deep breath in, excellent.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Just breathe normally.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45How does that feel?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48OK. Keep breathing normally.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52I'm going to press a button now to stop the flow of oxygen coming to you.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Then we're going to take the mask straight off.
0:08:55 > 0:09:00Otherwise, if we just take it off, you'll be losing all your air.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Off there.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Nice! Nice in there.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Happy with that?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Yeah, I could be used to that.
0:09:08 > 0:09:14We're going to go into the hot fire now and have a go wearing that with the hose, and put a fire out.
0:09:19 > 0:09:24I'd rather pull my pants down and shout, look everyone, it's Hose Friday, than walk into that fire.
0:09:24 > 0:09:29- What happens if I panic and shoot everything with water? - You won't, I'll be with you.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32If it all does go Pete Tong, I'll just walk you out, so don't worry.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- I'd do the same for you.- Promise?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Yeah.- High-five.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38You're with the fire whippet man.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41It's quite scary now, I can see the flames through that window.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44I don't like it, I do not like it one bit.
0:09:44 > 0:09:49Hold on to that, put that hose back to check we have water.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53Look at it in there!
0:09:53 > 0:09:56We leave the back of the hand on the door to see if it's cold.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00This is the door we're going through. Let's go inside.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Then we're going to go low, stay low.
0:10:07 > 0:10:08We're at the fire now.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18This exercise was scary enough, as controlled or not, fire is fire,
0:10:18 > 0:10:20but I tried to imagine how terrifying it would be
0:10:20 > 0:10:24in a real, volatile and unpredictable environment.
0:10:24 > 0:10:29Excellent, you can check the other way out. OK, let's move.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Come on Rhod, let's get out, stay low.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37I've got no idea what to expect, stepping into a fire.
0:10:37 > 0:10:42It's pretty scary. The main thing that occurs to me is you need a lot of confidence in this equipment.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46- Without a shadow of doubt, yeah. - And your team-mates. - That's a big thing.
0:10:46 > 0:10:52Tool of the trade John had helped me, but I still knew less about danger and volatile environments
0:10:52 > 0:10:54than a Songs Of Praise cameraman.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58I start being a fireman today, I'm here at Malpas Fire and Technical Rescue Station.
0:10:58 > 0:11:04I've shaved my goatee and put a plaster over my damaged nipple in anticipation of a busy day.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Who knows what could happen? Let's see.
0:11:07 > 0:11:12I was now officially on call, and while I looked the part,
0:11:12 > 0:11:15I felt as out of place as Lenny Henry wearing orange pyjamas.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Morning, chaps.
0:11:17 > 0:11:22We've got a trainee, Firefighter Gilbert, joining us for the next two days,
0:11:22 > 0:11:26carrying out some work experience. Attention! To your duties, fall out!
0:11:26 > 0:11:30If a call comes in, a firefighter has to be ready, ready to finish his tea
0:11:30 > 0:11:33and biscuits, make a note of his darts score and get out!
0:11:33 > 0:11:35This is the pole drop.
0:11:35 > 0:11:40We use it to get downstairs quickly. Ready to have a go? Reach across
0:11:40 > 0:11:44- and commit yourself to the pole. - I've never committed myself to a woman, never mind a pole!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50- Hands on...- I'll freefall down there and break my leg!- You won't.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53Right, I'm coming down.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Any minute now!
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Get the kettle on down there.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01I reckon I'll shoot down there with smoke coming off me
0:12:01 > 0:12:03and break my legs at the bottom but I'll do it anyway.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07- That's it, see?- Oh!- Look at that!
0:12:08 > 0:12:11APPLAUSE AND CHEERING That's all right, yeah.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16If we get a fire call, we need to be able to respond quickly to it.
0:12:16 > 0:12:22Ideally, we're looking at responding to a call and rolling out the doors within two minutes.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25That'll be easy. D'you know what they called me at the other station?
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- Go on.- The fire whippet!- Excellent! OK, we'll see.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Jan thought I was full of whippet shit and gave me a challenge.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35To make it realistic, I pretended to be a really busy firefighter.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38ALARM SOUNDS
0:12:40 > 0:12:44- OK, Rhod, you've got a call. - Walk, don't run. Walk, don't run.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Open that door, sir. Thanks very much.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Oh...sh...!
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Oh, what am I doing taking my trousers off?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02I'm not supposed to take my trousers off!
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Nobody wants a fireman with no bottoms on!
0:13:08 > 0:13:11I started taking my trousers off!
0:13:13 > 0:13:15SIREN WAILS
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Was that good?- It wasn't a record, no, but if you can respond
0:13:18 > 0:13:24as enthusiastically as that at 3am on your second nightshift, I'll be well impressed.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- I'd have shaved a second off if I hadn't taken my trousers off. - It doesn't help.
0:13:27 > 0:13:32Prevention is better than cure, and we go dishing out fire safety advice to the public.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36At last, I get some responsibility. Adam shows me the button and...
0:13:36 > 0:13:37BLEEP! ..bingo!
0:13:37 > 0:13:41- It's worth having. - Definitely, they are life-savers.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45Whitney Houston sang, I believe children are the future,
0:13:45 > 0:13:49teach them well and maybe the little buggers won't set fire to stuff.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53I can see through there, there's a bunch of very short people
0:13:53 > 0:13:57and I have to tell them about fire safety. I know less about it than them!
0:13:57 > 0:14:00I might have a quick look at this actually.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04Introduced Tanny, Tanny is a firefighter's helmet.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Tanny should be the same age as the children.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14They look about the same age, don't they?
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Does she look about six? It's hard to tell when you've got a fireman's helmet with legs.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21It says here, what would they do if they found matches?
0:14:21 > 0:14:24If child says, light it, pick it up, show concern, it says.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32What do I do? This is ridiculous. It's like walking on...
0:14:33 > 0:14:37What do you do, do I just walk in like I'm doing a gig?
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Good evening, hello!
0:14:39 > 0:14:45'The future, my arse, these kids were like feral dogs baying for blood. Where was tool of the trade John?
0:14:45 > 0:14:49'He could have thrown me over his shoulder and got me out of there.'
0:14:49 > 0:14:52- Yeah, never done this before. Hello, everyone.- Hello, Rhod!
0:14:52 > 0:14:56- If you're five, go yeah. - Yeah!
0:14:56 > 0:15:01- If you're six, go yeah.- Yeah!
0:15:01 > 0:15:02If you're 14, go yeah.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Yeah!
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Have you met Tanya the fire helmet?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Yes.- Have you?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- She's not real.- She's not real?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17No.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21She's in the supermarket and she sees some of these on the ground.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23What's this here? Can anybody tell me?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- She picks up mattresses. - She picks up mattresses?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Very close with mattresses but what does she pick up?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- Matches.- She picks up matches.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34In this story Tanya's been very naughty.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Does anyone know what she's done wrong?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Can we see the next bit?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Can you see the next bit?
0:15:42 > 0:15:45- What do you think...? - Is this the last one?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47This isn't the last one I'm afraid, no.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49We're only halfway through.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52What's happening here? She's burnt the house down.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53And she likes her house.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56- She likes her house. How's she feeling now?
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- Sad.- Happy.- Happy?
0:16:00 > 0:16:04She could be a bit sad but mostly she's happy because she could have died then.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Oh, she's happy that she's escaped from the fire. That makes sense.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Who could help you in this situation? Would you call a baker?
0:16:10 > 0:16:11No!
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- Would you call Trevor McDonald off the news?- No!
0:16:15 > 0:16:18What about Chris Bonington, the old Everest Explorer?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20- Yes!- Yes?!
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Anyone got questions for myself, Darren or Rhod?
0:16:23 > 0:16:27What time do you normally wake up?
0:16:27 > 0:16:30That's a very good question. I normally wake up at midday.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34- What website are you on? - What website are we on?
0:16:34 > 0:16:37What website are you on?!
0:16:37 > 0:16:41# Matches, matches, never touch
0:16:41 > 0:16:45# They can hurt you very much. #
0:16:48 > 0:16:49That was really stressful.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52I'm sweating. Not quite sure how much they've learnt.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55That was one of the toughest audiences I've had.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57That was worse than Glasgow Empire.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00I can't believe a four year-old found me so boring and sluggish
0:17:00 > 0:17:04that she was patronising me and asking me to move on.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Next thing I knew we had a call,
0:17:07 > 0:17:10it was a tip off, and we headed back to base to check it out.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13To investigate fully, we were going to have to cut up a car.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17We've got your dust mask to prevent you breathing in any dangerous dust
0:17:17 > 0:17:19like glass dust from windscreens.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Screening device coming into play a bit more.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Every time you do a bit of cutting, that has to be brought down.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Try and cut any of these posts now without managing the glass beforehand would be a problem
0:17:28 > 0:17:32because it would break explosively and in an uncontrolled manner.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35So we're going to break the glass with this, it's got a small point,
0:17:35 > 0:17:37so when we release the spring,
0:17:37 > 0:17:39all the pressure goes to that small point.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Breaking glass.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Jeepers, look at that, how does that work? That's incredible.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49If you're a car burglar, look away now.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Breaking glass.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54What would happen if I put that against my head and let go?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56- I think it might hurt. - Would it really?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- I don't quite understand the physics.- It's to do with science.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04I hope they don't want this car back.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Look at that bad boy, that's not a dust buster is it?
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Despite the tip off, to the firefighters dismay,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13there were no HobNobs in this vehicle.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17That's chewing on something isn't it?
0:18:17 > 0:18:21Joking aside these guys are experts at cutting people out of vehicles,
0:18:21 > 0:18:23but my mind wandered to what it must be like
0:18:23 > 0:18:26cutting Peter Stringfellow's toenails.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31You can imagine how much more difficult this would be
0:18:31 > 0:18:33if there was actually some people in there.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Quite a lot of stuff to look out for
0:18:36 > 0:18:39while also trying to control this beast.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Next, I'm going to be a simulated casualty
0:18:41 > 0:18:43and they're going to cut me out.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45I'm going to do it before I change my mind.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Somebody has been smoking in here.
0:18:47 > 0:18:52OK, keep looking at me, keep perfectly still.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Richard is going to try the door and help you.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57We'll get you out as soon as we possibly can.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00My name's Richard from the fire service, going to get you out.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02OK, yeah.
0:19:03 > 0:19:08All along I'd been joking about how firefighters are biscuit-obsessed fascists who sit around all day,
0:19:08 > 0:19:10but in truth, seeing these guys in action
0:19:10 > 0:19:13was as humbling as it was impressive.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29Pretty blown away by how professional that was.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33The level of training to choreograph something like that,
0:19:33 > 0:19:35it's just awesome, awesome.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40After a serious end to the day, next day was a special treat,
0:19:40 > 0:19:41a trip to the beach to train
0:19:41 > 0:19:44for some very different rescue scenarios.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Despite the fantastic weather,
0:19:46 > 0:19:49when we got there the beach looked pretty quiet.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50It looked so inviting,
0:19:50 > 0:19:54we rushed to put on our Welsh equivalent of speedos.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12We've been called to an exercise with a person stuck in the mud.
0:20:12 > 0:20:17We get calls through quite regularly and this is the equipment you can see
0:20:17 > 0:20:20on the floor, that we're going to use over the next hour or so.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22The donkey rides here are tremendously popular,
0:20:22 > 0:20:24but accidents do happen.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28This idiot tried to ride a donkey while eating an ice cream.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Our rescue was against the tide
0:20:29 > 0:20:31and it was as slippery as Peter Mandelson,
0:20:31 > 0:20:32but we had to get him back.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34He still owed £1 on the donkeys for one thing.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Very difficult to move anything.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54It's hard to stand and grip
0:20:54 > 0:20:56and unbelievably slippery.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58It's very hard work.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Last effort then. Come on Rhod.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Anyone got any injuries you'd like to report?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14No aches and pains?
0:21:14 > 0:21:17I've got injuries but I just can't be bothered to report them.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19The most important thing now, decontamination.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22We don't know what's in this mud so we'll go in for a full wash off.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30There's a welcome sight. It's like a mirage.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Put the warm tap on.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Part of the fire service's responsibility
0:21:59 > 0:22:01is to do river rescues.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04A bit further up the river, they're going to lob a dummy off a bridge
0:22:04 > 0:22:08and we'll effect a river rescue. How often does this happen?
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Quite a lot unfortunately, whether it's from people who have been drinking on high spirits
0:22:12 > 0:22:15and accidentally fallen off the bridge from playing around
0:22:15 > 0:22:18or somebody who decided to harm themselves and jump.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20How far has this dummy floated now?
0:22:20 > 0:22:23At least 200 metres up stream in that short period of time.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28We'd simulate this person who's obviously a swimmer, he's conscious,
0:22:28 > 0:22:30we'll treat him for mild hypothermia.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33Our assessment is, judging by the red face,
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- we reckon he's had a bit too much to drink.- Absolutely, yes.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Come on, don't do it again, let's get you home.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52Been out here about three hours in this dry suit.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55You can't have a wee in these.
0:22:55 > 0:22:56It's not like a wet suit
0:22:56 > 0:22:58and I'm desperate to go to the toilet, so excuse me.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02After a final game of rounders on the beach, we headed back.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05I was still on call but the lads felt that in a fire
0:23:05 > 0:23:08I'd be about as much use as a 1970s sofa.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11I needed more training, this time without a safety harness.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14I was as nervous as a pig who's lost both his contact lenses
0:23:14 > 0:23:16on the pavement outside a butchers.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I don't fancy doing this.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28That bit between the ladder and the window is the bit that I'm worried about.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30The bit he's going to have to do now.
0:23:32 > 0:23:37You don't realise these things completely restrict your movement
0:23:37 > 0:23:41and just moving your foot up one rung of those ladders
0:23:41 > 0:23:44is harder than it would be in normal gear.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52Just pretend you've got a harness on Rhod, think harness.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57The ladder's getting much narrower now.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Looking down now.
0:23:59 > 0:24:00Quite a long way down there.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16What I want you to do, put this hand
0:24:16 > 0:24:18on this round here.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21That's a long way down. Oh shit.
0:24:21 > 0:24:26- Go on.- That hand round here.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- Don't look down.- That's horrible.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37That's horrible.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Every time I get into a position like this, you've got
0:24:40 > 0:24:44that compulsive thought where you want to step off, you want to jump.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48I wouldn't want to do that carrying anything or...
0:24:48 > 0:24:52It's funny you should say that.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01I'm just running around like a headless chicken as usual,
0:25:01 > 0:25:03trying to follow orders as best I can.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10I'm not on fire!
0:25:10 > 0:25:14Oh hose Friday! It was bad enough before, now I'm drenched,
0:25:14 > 0:25:18numb with cold, it's slippery, and I've got no safety harness.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21I'd rather stand still while a dentist on a mechanical bull
0:25:21 > 0:25:23tries to extract my wisdom teeth.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37It was almost the end of my shift
0:25:37 > 0:25:40and, thank God, we hadn't had a call out.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42The fire whippet was home and dry.
0:25:42 > 0:25:43ALARM WAILS
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Oh, flatpack nipples!
0:25:46 > 0:25:48At the last minute the bells went down.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51My adrenalin levels went berserk.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53This was a real call out and we'd no idea how big
0:25:53 > 0:25:55this fire was going to be.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57My imagination was running wild.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Oh, it's a tiddler, a little bin fire.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Probably just Tony Blair doing some late night filing.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08In truth, I was very relieved.
0:26:11 > 0:26:16Predictably, we've been on shift all day since first thing this morning,
0:26:16 > 0:26:18the bell goes, there's a call out.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22As fires go, it's what you want really, a fire.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Once it starts getting bigger, worse, more dangerous,
0:26:26 > 0:26:28then it starts to get nasty,
0:26:28 > 0:26:31but that was quite a nice little bit of adrenalin and fun.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35My shift was over and I escaped a serious call out.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37I told the lads it was a shame.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42I was being ironic but they dragged me back to tool of the trade, John.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45I found myself wishing it was hose Friday.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54What we're going to do finally,
0:26:54 > 0:26:58I'm going to take this in, I'm going to protect you.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01You're going to be behind me, when I let you know,
0:27:01 > 0:27:04you're going to be turning that valve off there.
0:27:04 > 0:27:09That there is under flames. You'll be turning it off.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13We'll be going in there, me and you, yeah?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Let's go.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Move forward.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Move in there! Turn that off!
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Let's move back.
0:27:55 > 0:27:56Stand at ease.
0:27:56 > 0:28:00I'd just like to say a special thanks to trainee firefighter Gilbert.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02I'm sure you're all agree,
0:28:02 > 0:28:05he's coped admirably with all the things we've thrown at him
0:28:05 > 0:28:07the last couple of days.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Guys, if you'd like to thank him in the normal method.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14WHISTLES
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Hey! Too much, too much!
0:28:15 > 0:28:17Down and five.
0:28:20 > 0:28:21Red Watch, dismissed.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27It's been a phenomenal eye opener.
0:28:27 > 0:28:31These are phenomenally brave, confident, well trained,
0:28:31 > 0:28:35skilled people who I think earn a pittance for what they do.
0:28:35 > 0:28:39Just from the little I've seen, gave you a little glimpse of what it might be like to do it for real.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43It takes tremendous self-belief and confidence in yourself
0:28:43 > 0:28:45and the people around you, and your equipment.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47It's all a bit too scary for me.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49SHOUTING
0:28:49 > 0:28:51I thought that was the fire,
0:28:51 > 0:28:54I thought I was going to have to get back in and get out on a call.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Before that has a chance to happen,
0:28:56 > 0:28:58the final bit is quick marching it
0:28:58 > 0:29:00back to the world of stand up comedy.
0:29:04 > 0:29:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:07 > 0:29:10E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk