0:00:02 > 0:00:05I'm Rhod Gilbert, stand-up comedian. People tell me I've got the toughest job in town
0:00:05 > 0:00:08but I'm sure I'd find other things far more difficult.
0:00:08 > 0:00:12I'm ditching my regular job and trying something different. This is my Work Experience.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18And this week, I'm a wedding planner.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23So I'm going to be a wedding planner.
0:00:23 > 0:00:28Two things worry me about that. One is the wedding. Two, the planning.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Because I couldn't really give a toss about weddings.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36'I ushered myself over to a wedding planning school in Swansea.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40'Samantha and Amber knew more about getting hitched than Simon Cowell's trousers.'
0:00:40 > 0:00:42My job is to train wedding planners,
0:00:42 > 0:00:46so they don't ruin the most important day of somebody else's life.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49I'm just not a weddingy person. I just don't care.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53I'm one of those people who goes, "20 grand on a wedding?!
0:00:53 > 0:00:54"You could buy a car for that!"
0:00:54 > 0:00:57- Sounds like there's a lot of work to be done.- Yeah.
0:00:57 > 0:01:02Because really the number one thing is that you instil confidence in your bride.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06She's been thinking about this since she was probably about five.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07If you mess this up,
0:01:07 > 0:01:13that girl that lives in all women is going to be a very sad little girl.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16'I'd never been a five-year-old girl and like a man who's just
0:01:16 > 0:01:19'eaten 48 bananas, I was still finding it hard to give a shit.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21'Wedding bot Amber was worried.'
0:01:21 > 0:01:25In order for a bride to like you, it's important that you don't
0:01:25 > 0:01:31do or say anything that's going to upset your relationship.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36Try not to ask them about previous relationships, ex-partners...
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Try not to bring up the bride's weight.
0:01:39 > 0:01:44I can think of a lot of inappropriate things to say to a bride and groom in my first meeting.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45Please, please don't!
0:01:45 > 0:01:50'But the more wedding bot told me about the role, the less seriously I was taking it.'
0:01:50 > 0:01:55It might be things like helping her to use the toilet while she's got her enormous dress on.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58I've unravelled a few thongs in my time.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02What, during the wedding, they've gone to the toilet on their wedding day and you,
0:02:02 > 0:02:07as a wedding planner, your job extends to unravelling their thong while they go to the toilet?
0:02:07 > 0:02:11- Yes. Not very often, I'm pleased to say.- It's pretty hands on!
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- That comes back to trust again. - What about with the groom?
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Have you ever had to go in and...? - I'm not sure you're taking this seriously!
0:02:18 > 0:02:23'I just couldn't get my head round it. In an effort to help me focus, Samantha showed me her box.'
0:02:23 > 0:02:25This is my big pink box. Everyone always thinks,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29- "Oh, the wedding planner and her big pink box."- Do they?- They do.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I never thought, "Oh, the wedding planner and her big pink box."
0:02:32 > 0:02:37- I've never had that thought.- I turn up, people think, "It's the wedding planner."- And her big pink box.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38It's a big pink box.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41'Samantha's box wasn't helping me get serious.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45'especially as she reeled off its contents like a post-apocalyptic Generation Game.'
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Sticky rolly. Insect repellent. Foot spray.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52- Matches and lighters. Tit tape. - Tit tape?- Tit tape.
0:02:52 > 0:02:57- Diarrhoea relief.- Tablets for flu, tablets for indigestion. Plant food.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00How urgently is a plant going to need feeding at a wedding?
0:03:00 > 0:03:04- Do you think you can put one of these together?- No.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05You're going to have to.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09'Nothing had worked so far, but the wedding bot thought some role-play with an actor might help me
0:03:09 > 0:03:13'take it more seriously. She'd dreamt up a nightmare scenario.'
0:03:13 > 0:03:16The cake has arrived, but it's the wrong cake.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- And you have to deal with the situation.- OK.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22This is the cake.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26- It's nothing like the cake! - It's not even like the cake.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29It must be something like it - it's cake.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32It's being paid for by Samantha's grandmother as her wedding present for her.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36What if I just smash the shit out of it and we tell everyone it's Eton Mess?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Just make this end!
0:03:38 > 0:03:43'The wedding bot wasn't happy with my progress, but I switched her off and on again and she was fine.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45'She agreed to let me plan a real wedding.'
0:03:45 > 0:03:49So that's all your wedding planner school course finished today.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52I'm going to leave you in Samantha's very capable hands.
0:03:52 > 0:03:56As a professional wedding planner, she's going to take you to the next step.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01I'm going to be introducing you to a couple who are willing to let
0:04:01 > 0:04:05you take on the planning and coordination of their wedding day.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09What's wrong with them?! Why would you do that?!
0:04:09 > 0:04:12They've put a lot of trust into you.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- I know you won't let me down. - I won't.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- Or your new couple.- Or them. Or myself.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20HE LAUGHS
0:04:21 > 0:04:25I'm here in Miskin, near Cardiff, to meet the couple.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29A foolish couple who've agreed to let me plan their wedding.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31I don't know anything about them.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35I don't know what they've got in mind for their wedding, but I know how much is riding on this.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38'I'd be Samantha's reluctant apprentice.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42'She was waiting to brief me before I met the freaks who'd agreed to let me plan their wedding.'
0:04:42 > 0:04:46- Sarah and Gareth are the bride and groom.- Sarah and Gareth.- Yes.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50- And they're through there. - And they're through there, with Sarah's sister, Emma,
0:04:50 > 0:04:52and Sarah's mum and dad, Marilyn and Craig.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55And your job today is to sit down with them all, make them
0:04:55 > 0:04:59feel relaxed and they need to walk away today feeling that they
0:04:59 > 0:05:03can trust you to deliver their wedding day exactly to plan.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06'I was nervous. The closest I've come to giving anyone a day to remember is
0:05:06 > 0:05:09'giving them three minutes they'd rather forget.'
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- Hello.- This is Sarah, the bride. - Hello, Sarah, the bride.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16- Nice to meet you.- This is Gareth, the groom.- Hello, Gareth, the groom.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17Hello.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19- Hello, Marilyn.- Rhod.- Craig.- How do.
0:05:19 > 0:05:24'I had an hour or two to bond with these strangers and convince them I was up to the task.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28'So like a thong in a bride's backside, I had to get stuck in.'
0:05:28 > 0:05:30I've got try and get to know you now.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I've got to be your best friend.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36- Have you already got a best friend? - Yes.- Who is it?- Emma.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Emma, you're off the books. - LAUGHTER
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- I'm the new best friend. First time married?- Yes.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45- They told me not to ask that. - LAUGHTER
0:05:45 > 0:05:48They said, specifically, don't ask that, but I'm just too curious.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51How will the MOB...? Oh, mother of the bride, sorry.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54How will the MOB travel to the ceremony?
0:05:54 > 0:05:58- What have I got myself into? - LAUGHTER
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Theme. Colour scheme.
0:06:01 > 0:06:07- Blue. Royal blue.- Royal blue colour scheme.- But the theme is Movies.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12We'd kind of like some props there, giant Oscars maybe. Things like that.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- Directors' chairs.- That kind of thing.- Yeah, for the top table.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17How long is the bar free till?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20As you can tell from my accent, it's not!
0:06:20 > 0:06:22LAUGHTER
0:06:22 > 0:06:25So you're outside having your photos and you're there going,
0:06:25 > 0:06:29- "That's £1.40, please." - LAUGHTER
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- 'They're really nice.' - 'They are lovely, aren't they?'
0:06:32 > 0:06:37Even though weddings, I don't really give a shit, I'm not bothered,
0:06:37 > 0:06:41blah blah blah, for them, I really, really care.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44You've met Gareth and Sarah and you've got to know them.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47- And that's now who you care about. - It's their special day!
0:06:47 > 0:06:49They're lovely. You just want to love them.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- And I'm Sarah's new best friend! - Are you seriously her best friend?
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- Yeah, yeah! I'd better text her. - You should do.- It's been too long.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00'Boom! Meeting them had made me take it seriously,
0:07:00 > 0:07:03'but I still knew sod all about weddings and needed to swot up.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05'The smell of icing sugar and diminishing freedom took me
0:07:05 > 0:07:09'to a wedding fair near Carmarthen.' This is where it starts to get real.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13I don't think I've ever felt quite as out of place in my life.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16'I knew less about perfect romantic environments than Ross Kemp's
0:07:16 > 0:07:20'toilet brush, but with the MOB and family on their way to meet me, I had to learn fast.'
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- How much would something like this cost?- £495.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24£495?!
0:07:24 > 0:07:29- Yes.- For a cake?!- It's about a week's worth!- If you go round ASDA at the right time,
0:07:29 > 0:07:31you'll get it for about three quid!
0:07:31 > 0:07:34I've been told if the bride's thong got stuck up there,
0:07:34 > 0:07:38then it would be my job to go under there and get it.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41It depends. If you're happy to do that kind of thing...?
0:07:41 > 0:07:43I'm happy to do that kind of thing!
0:07:43 > 0:07:47Give me a practice go. Right? So the thong is stuck up there. Wow!
0:07:47 > 0:07:50How do you get past all this stuff?
0:07:50 > 0:07:54- How do you get past...?- Straight under.- Oh, yeah! I'm under, I'm in!
0:07:54 > 0:07:58And...twang! It's out.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02'I was getting a cheeky glimpse of the more positive sides of the job when the family arrived.'
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Thanks for coming down. We're going to see what you like, what you don't like,
0:08:06 > 0:08:10- see what ideas I've got and we'll just...put the whole thing together. - Great.- Brilliant.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13'I was learning, but now I needed to start acting like their
0:08:13 > 0:08:16'wedding planner and find things for their Hollywood theme.'
0:08:16 > 0:08:19If you don't want a chocolate fountain, you don't have to.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- He doesn't want a chocolate fountain. - Do you want one?- If it's no from Gareth, it's no from me.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27- If it's no from Gareth, it's no from you.- Yes.- I'm guessing that's largely not true.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29SHE LAUGHS
0:08:29 > 0:08:34It's not for everybody. It's the wow factor, it is a big wow factor.
0:08:34 > 0:08:39We put wedding rings into a little pouch, she'll fly down the aisle, land on the glove, take the bag off
0:08:39 > 0:08:43and she'll fly away and let you get on with the ceremony.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46I'm sorry, that just sounds fucking mental.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Why don't you just release a load of elephants and rhinos
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- and stuff in the reception as well. - I've got a vulture.- A vulture?!
0:08:52 > 0:08:57Nothing looks nicer at the front of a wedding than the bride and groom and a vulture next to them!
0:08:58 > 0:09:02'I was Sarah's new best friend and she confided in me that she
0:09:02 > 0:09:05'wanted to surprise her groom with a cake.'
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Separate to a wedding cake, it's something just for the groom.
0:09:09 > 0:09:15Just for Gareth, really. So it's supposed to describe his interests, what he is about really.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19- Have you had any thoughts about what that might be, what it might look like?- Anything.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23I was thinking as extravagant as possible. He loves golf.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26So I thought we could do a golf kind of cake.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28'My job was getting more complicated.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31'Sarah expected me to just pull a groom's cake out of my arse
0:09:31 > 0:09:33'and now Craig and the MOB wanted extras too.'
0:09:33 > 0:09:36We want to do something different for her.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- Some kind of surprise thing! - That's right.- Yes.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43But we're struggling to think of something that fits.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46'Sarah wanted to surprise Gareth, Craig and the MOB wanted to surprise Sarah.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49'I'd have to be Cilla Ruddy Black to pull this off!
0:09:49 > 0:09:52'Gareth pitched in with a surprise fact about Sarah and surprises.'
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Does Sarah like surprises? Is she good with them?
0:09:56 > 0:09:58She's not generally good with them.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01I think her uni friend surprised her to go to Dublin
0:10:01 > 0:10:06and she basically broke down because it was happening very quick and she wasn't in control.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10- She had a nervous breakdown? - Basically, yeah!
0:10:10 > 0:10:13'Sarah was a surprise-a-crite. She was happy enough dishing them out,
0:10:13 > 0:10:17'but she couldn't hack surprises herself. Craig and the MOB had stitched me right up.'
0:10:17 > 0:10:21You want to surprise her, but she doesn't like surprises.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24It's her day. This is the way she wants it to be.
0:10:24 > 0:10:29We just need to make sure it's being executed to that plan.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31We don't want to upset her on the day.
0:10:31 > 0:10:36- I will see it as a failure on my part if she has a nervous breakdown. - So will we!
0:10:36 > 0:10:39The pressure's on. I've got lots to do.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42There's things I've started to think about that work
0:10:42 > 0:10:47within their theme, but that don't upset her - that's the key.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49She doesn't like surprises.
0:10:49 > 0:10:54'Samantha and I had spread the workload. As her apprentice, my job was to grab their Hollywood
0:10:54 > 0:10:56'theme by the nuptials and run with it.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00'I had to organise surprises, but without committing bridal surprise-acide.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02'First up, the music they wanted for the reception.'
0:11:02 > 0:11:05'Welcome to the London Philharmonic Orchestra.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08'Please leave a message after the tone.'
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Oh, hi. I'm trying to book a small orchestra to perform at a wedding.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16'The Philharmonic didn't want my gig, but I wasn't about to give up.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20'I had an idea to get a Hollywood star along on the day and luckily, I'm so well connected,
0:11:20 > 0:11:23'I know people who know people who know people in showbiz.'
0:11:23 > 0:11:27I know that you know Chris O'Dowd and I know that he's one of their favourites
0:11:27 > 0:11:31and he was in Bridesmaids, which is one of the tables they've themed.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33'Oh, right. OK. Well, I can ask him.'
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Do you think he'll do it?- 'I'm not sure where he is at the moment.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39'I'm not sure if he's here or in the States.'
0:11:39 > 0:11:42'I was getting nowhere. I'd been rushing round like a headless wedding owl
0:11:42 > 0:11:47'all morning and I still didn't have anything concrete. Maybe I'd have more luck with sponge.'
0:11:47 > 0:11:50She designed the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Cake.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54So if it's good enough for the Queen, then it's good enough for my little princess.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58'But would Royal Spongebob Jackie make my extravagant groom's cake at very short notice?'
0:11:58 > 0:12:02She wants to surprise the groom and she wants it to make a real impact.
0:12:02 > 0:12:08- It's in a room of 100 people.- OK. - So...over to you. We want "wow"!
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Golfing Oscar statue? Golf bag?
0:12:11 > 0:12:16- A full size golf club bag. That's what I was thinking.- Put it on a trolley, put it on a golf trolley.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19- Golf clubs sticking out of the top? - Definitely!- Definitely.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22And if we can do it really well, hopefully,
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Gareth would believe that this is his set of golf clubs.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28He got on to the fairway and hit a ball so badly,
0:12:28 > 0:12:32the club fell apart in his hands! "This is a cake!"
0:12:32 > 0:12:38- Very doable.- By a week Saturday? - Er...yes. Still...doable.- OK.
0:12:38 > 0:12:44'I had no idea if Sponge Jackie Whitepants could deliver and I was starting to worry my Hollywood theme
0:12:44 > 0:12:46'would just be me holding up a picture of Tom Cruise.
0:12:46 > 0:12:52'While hunting round for an American wedding car, I got a surprise. And it was a ruddy good one.'
0:12:53 > 0:12:56That's amazing!
0:12:56 > 0:12:59That's awesome!
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Chris O'Dowd is in!
0:13:00 > 0:13:05'I was up and running. I'd gone from not giving a toss about weddings to being
0:13:05 > 0:13:09'Wales's premier wedding bot. I was so excited, I decided to take things up a gear
0:13:09 > 0:13:13'and start my own wedding planning business. Give A Shit Weddings was born.'
0:13:13 > 0:13:15So something fancy and wedding plannery.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Brand is all-important.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21I'd like to see "because we care" as well. I think that was the strap line I had in mind.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- That's good. - Nobody can say I don't care.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27I'm now fully involved in this. Up to my neck.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Do you want to try reversing that out of a pink?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33That is lovely. Thanks very much.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- OK, cheers.- Give A Shit Weddings.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37THEY LAUGH
0:13:37 > 0:13:39I don't want to get carried away!
0:13:42 > 0:13:47'The wedding is tomorrow and everything needs to come together today.'
0:13:47 > 0:13:50It has to be great because it's Gareth and Sarah's...big day.
0:13:50 > 0:13:55As much as for me, it's a TV show and it's a Work Experience series, it really is their wedding.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58'With 24 hours to go, I was bucks fizzing with excitement.
0:13:58 > 0:14:04'But so far, my Hollywood theme consisted of a possible appearance from Chris O'Dowd. I needed more.'
0:14:04 > 0:14:06I'm looking for big, bold, Hollywood,
0:14:06 > 0:14:09things that make an impact.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12But I've got to get the line right between classy and tacky.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15And that's where Samantha's going to come in.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19- 'What's in front of you?' - What's in front of me?- 'Yeah.'
0:14:19 > 0:14:23- Well, a six foot zebra in a headdress.- 'Yeah, tacky!'
0:14:23 > 0:14:28- OK. A two foot elephant in a headdress.- 'Probably not either.'
0:14:28 > 0:14:30There's a penis wrapped in an American flag,
0:14:30 > 0:14:34putting ketchup on its head. Oh, it's a hotdog! I just realised.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38- What about a shark's head?- 'That's bordering too much on tacky.'
0:14:38 > 0:14:41- A life-size pirate with a hook.- 'No!
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- 'We'll keep in touch. Let me know how you get on.'- Will do. OK.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46I'm getting pretty desperate now.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50I'm looking for anything that might say... Finding Nemo?
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Plastic bunting. Chunky-style bunting.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Who'd have thought there were so many different kinds of bunting? Nice bunting.
0:14:56 > 0:15:01"Nice bunting!" That sounds more like a sleazy compliment.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04I think people will enjoy a few... Ow!
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Not having that. That's lethal. Argh!
0:15:11 > 0:15:15A beaver who's had his entire face removed.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Nice bunting.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21'I'd drawn a bit of a blank on classy props to fit the theme.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23'Maybe I'm watching the wrong movies, but a penis in a bun
0:15:23 > 0:15:27'and a faceless beaver don't really shout "classy" or "Hollywood."
0:15:27 > 0:15:29'But with a new employee, things would surely get easier?'
0:15:29 > 0:15:30This is my PA.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Ralph.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38He's causing quite a bit of trouble on his first day at work.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40I'm going to have to let him go.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46Right, we've put Ralph on a crash diet. I think he should fit now.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Welcome to Give A Shit Weddings. "Thank you very much."
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Ralph gave the company a real lift.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54He was as eager as a faceless beaver and straight away,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57he had a brainwave - if we couldn't find classy Hollywood props,
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Give A Shit Weddings would go the extra mile and make them.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Oh!
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Just to keep you updated, I'm running a little behind,
0:16:08 > 0:16:10but that's because I'm making, from scratch,
0:16:10 > 0:16:12a three-foot Oscar statue made of ice.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15'Are you sure you should be making that?'
0:16:15 > 0:16:19I think you're going to be quite surprised and impressed.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22If you don't like that idea so much, there's other things we can do here.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24They've got a naked torso with an erect phallus.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26You can pour vodka in the top
0:16:26 > 0:16:28and people can drink vodka out of his penis.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32'That would kind of border on tacky and completely...'
0:16:32 > 0:16:34I wasn't sure.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36It's a maybe to the Oscar ice statue
0:16:36 > 0:16:40and it's a definite no-no to the drinking vodka knob, yeah?
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- 'Yeah, a definite a no.'- Roger.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46We were knackered, but the day had been really productive
0:16:46 > 0:16:48and it wasn't over yet.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51It's the last stop for the day, it's ten to nine.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Gareth and Sarah wanted the 20th Century Fox music
0:16:54 > 0:16:56on a little CD player or a little ghetto blaster
0:16:56 > 0:17:00in the corner of the room as they enter the reception.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02I've got something else planned.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04I'm going to proper pimp their Fox.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06This would be the world's shortest gig -
0:17:06 > 0:17:10stuff the London Philharmonic, meet the Tongwynlais Temperance Band.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15THEY PLAY 20TH CENTURY FOX THEME
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- HE MOUTHS:- Very good.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Oh, man! I've got the little hairs up on the back of my neck.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38That is going to be brilliant. I'm not even getting married and I'm excited.
0:17:38 > 0:17:39The day of the wedding,
0:17:39 > 0:17:41and Ralph had thrown a sickie, so I had my work cut out.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43I was desperate for this to go perfectly,
0:17:43 > 0:17:46and raced to Miskin Manor to prepare the reception.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49My big pink box would finally get to rub corners with Samantha's.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51At the moment it's pretty bare
0:17:51 > 0:17:55- apart from ghoulish animal faces staring at us.- Yeah!
0:17:55 > 0:17:59It reminds me of Craig, the same way as he looks at you. Have you noticed, Craig, father of the bride?
0:17:59 > 0:18:03He looks at you all friendly and smiles and a little wink, but it's undercut with sinister.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05If anything goes wrong he'll break my legs.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Yeah, he probably will if something goes wrong, yeah.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Straightaway, I'd hit a snag.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12I'd managed to find the giant movie props Sarah and Gareth wanted,
0:18:12 > 0:18:15but the ruddy things were flat-pack and I am to DIY
0:18:15 > 0:18:18what a pair of chopsticks is to landscape gardening.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Will that do? That doesn't say Spielberg to me, no.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28CRASHING
0:18:28 > 0:18:29'That would have to do for now.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32'I had more pressing stuff to give a shit about because over at
0:18:32 > 0:18:35'Miskin village church, the vicar was already limbering up.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38'If all's going well around now they should be saying their I dos,
0:18:38 > 0:18:42'I wills, I promise and yes sir, no sir, three bags full, missus,
0:18:42 > 0:18:45'and I'm hoping that's what's happening.'
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Of course, you never know.
0:18:46 > 0:18:51Maybe there's been some drama at the church and it's all gone breasts up.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52The hotel staff, Samantha and I
0:18:52 > 0:18:55rushed to get the wedding food place ready.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58This was where Give A Shit Weddings really excelled -
0:18:58 > 0:19:01those little details that make such a difference.
0:19:03 > 0:19:09- Are you trying to send me crazy?- Rob Jones sitting next to Sarah Baker.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Possibly two single ones there. Oh, no, Lucy Jones.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Unlucky, Rob, the wife's with you.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16'All the surprises I'd organised needed finalising.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18'There was still a mountain to climb,
0:19:18 > 0:19:21- 'so I set off while Samantha held the ladder.'- 'Hi, how are you?'
0:19:21 > 0:19:23I'm all right, thanks, I'm up a ladder.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25'What are you doing up a ladder?'
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Well, I'm trying to reach something that was taller than me.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29What do most people do up a ladder?
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Remember that you are a secret,
0:19:33 > 0:19:36so make every effort not to look like a brass band
0:19:36 > 0:19:38arriving for a surprise gig.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40'As well as all the donkey work,
0:19:40 > 0:19:44'as MD of the company I was having to make crucial decisions on the fly.'
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Just to confirm the ice sculpture arrival today?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51'Yeah, OK, yeah. Did you want me to keep it as it is?
0:19:51 > 0:19:54'Because you did mention putting a knob on it.'
0:19:54 > 0:19:57How long does it take to pop a knob on him?
0:19:57 > 0:20:00'It shouldn't take very long, but you will lose the Y-fronts then.'
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Is your professional recommendation to stick with the Y-fronts
0:20:03 > 0:20:05rather than upgrade to the willy?
0:20:05 > 0:20:07'From an aesthetic point of view, I'd come down on the Y-fronts.
0:20:07 > 0:20:11- 'You can get back to me, all right?' - Executive decision, we go Y-fronts.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14'The room was ready, but if the MOB saw me looking like this,
0:20:14 > 0:20:15'she'd have me whacked.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17'Suit on, I rushed out to greet the guests.'
0:20:17 > 0:20:21It is now 1.30 and my bride and groom should now be married.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24I'm expecting them any moment, hopefully in a beautiful,
0:20:24 > 0:20:27shiny Buick that came as a complete surprise.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29'Half an hour later, we were still waiting.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31'I was worried my surprise Hollywood car had either
0:20:31 > 0:20:33'broken down or caused Sarah to.'
0:20:33 > 0:20:37The possibility is that she's seen the Buick and had such a freak out.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40She could be standing outside that church now, mascara down her front,
0:20:40 > 0:20:43dress torn to shreds, looking like Robinson Crusoe.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- Complete nervous breakdown, because we've surprised with a Buick. - Possibly.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49That is when wedding planning goes wrong.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52'The delayed wedding party was having knock-on effects.'
0:20:52 > 0:20:55The whole band is supposed to be arriving at two o'clock
0:20:55 > 0:20:57so we might have a little bit of a problem here.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00'Right NOT on cue, the band arrived.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03'I bundled them out of sight just in time - my surprise trumpets
0:21:03 > 0:21:06'were almost blown because seconds later, Craig and the MOB rolled up.'
0:21:06 > 0:21:09There they are.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11- How was it?- Oh, brilliant.- Was it? - Completely brilliant, yes.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- You're all smiling, that's a good sign.- Yes, yes.
0:21:14 > 0:21:19- All good?- Very, very good. - So far?- Yes.- Lovely.- Hello!- Hiya.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21- The Buick, was it all right, all right?- Brilliant.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Is it all right? - Brilliant, absolutely.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- They came out and it was... - It hasn't broke down, has it?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28We have been wondering where the hell it is?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30They've gone off for some photos with it.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31'It was a big relief.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34'Apparently Sarah had taken my first surprise in her stride.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37'Hopefully there'd be no dirty protests on the backseat.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39'One surprise down, but loads to go.'
0:21:39 > 0:21:42That is very, very cool.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- There they are, Mr and Mrs Griffiths, welcome.- Thank you.
0:21:45 > 0:21:50- Thank you very much.- Welcome to Miskin Manor. How was it?- Good.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53- Good, yeah.- Good?! - Brilliant!
0:21:53 > 0:21:54SHE LAUGHS
0:21:54 > 0:21:59- What do you think of the car?- It was great.- Amazing.- Lovely surprise. - You don't like surprises.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02- Was it all right?- It was a good surprise.- It was a good surprise.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04'The band had been hiding in Craig's moustache,
0:22:04 > 0:22:07'but it was time to bring them out and usher in the happy couple.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10'Again, I was nervous. Either the bride would be beside herself
0:22:10 > 0:22:11'or I'd be done for bridicide.'
0:22:11 > 0:22:13That's the reaction we were looking for.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16There was an, "Oh, my God" when the tuba came in, that's what I'm after.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Everyone, you're all good, you're all in? OK, we're going to do it.
0:22:19 > 0:22:24- This is it.- Yes.- This is it. How are you feeling?- Good.- Good?
0:22:24 > 0:22:28- Yeah, feeling good.- Brilliant. Just don't trip up now.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Ladies and gentlemen, would you please all be upstanding
0:22:31 > 0:22:35for the bride and groom, Mr and Mrs Griffiths!
0:22:37 > 0:22:40APPLAUSE
0:22:40 > 0:22:43BAND PLAYS 20TH CENTURY FOX THEME
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Oh, I had genuine little hairs up on the back of my neck.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08I had a genuine little tingle there, hey? A little trouser flutter.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09Oh, yes!
0:23:09 > 0:23:11'The speeches were under way.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13'Every surprise that didn't kill Sarah made me stronger.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16'I was possessed, obsessed with her and Gareth's happiness,
0:23:16 > 0:23:18'so while Craig read out an itemised drinks bill,
0:23:18 > 0:23:20'I snuck off to prepare the groom's cake.'
0:23:20 > 0:23:24You are so kind, considerate, you would do anything for anyone,
0:23:24 > 0:23:27and these are the reasons why I love you.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Gareth has said on numerous occasions that I can have what
0:23:30 > 0:23:32I want for this wedding.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34But I wanted Gareth to have something that was his
0:23:34 > 0:23:38and to have a part of the wedding just for him.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39Without further ado,
0:23:39 > 0:23:42I would like to present to you, your very own groom's cake.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Just a quick note about it, when Sarah told me
0:23:44 > 0:23:47she wanted to make a cake for Gareth, I was very lucky -
0:23:47 > 0:23:50I managed to get hold of the lady who made
0:23:50 > 0:23:52the Queen's Diamond Jubilee cake.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Unfortunately she wasn't available...
0:23:54 > 0:23:57LAUGHTER
0:23:57 > 0:23:58So I've made...
0:23:58 > 0:24:02- Was this made by you, Rhod? - That was made by me.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05It's golf themed, it's got the word "golf" written on the top.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08It's upside down, Sarah, it's upside down!
0:24:09 > 0:24:15She WAS available and managed to knock up this little beauty.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17This is a chocolate cake...
0:24:17 > 0:24:20'Sarah had wanted Gareth's groom's cake to make an impact.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22'Sponge Jackie's remarkable effort had twatted them
0:24:22 > 0:24:24'300 yards down the fairway.'
0:24:24 > 0:24:27That cake went really, really well. I'm really happy with that.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29That was awesome, I got a proper little buzz
0:24:29 > 0:24:32and I cried in the speeches.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35'So far, so good.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36'But the surprise was the big one,
0:24:36 > 0:24:38'would Craig and Sarah feel I'd gone too far?
0:24:38 > 0:24:41'If Sarah had a nervous breakdown. Craig would break my legs.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42'I was having kittens.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45'We were one surprise away from calling two ambulances and a vet.'
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Someone who very much wanted to be here today
0:24:48 > 0:24:53that wasn't able to come has left a little message.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55'Hi, Sarah. Chris O'Dowd, here.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58'I hear that you got married.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02'You did say that you'd wait for me
0:25:02 > 0:25:06'but I guess you found Gareth and just decided to get on with it,
0:25:06 > 0:25:08'which is fine.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10'Congratulations, guys. Have a wonderful day.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13'I hope that Rhod doesn't ruin it too much.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17'And hey, good luck tonight in the, you know...'
0:25:19 > 0:25:22'I breathed a huge sigh of relief as each little plan went down well.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25'Samantha and I left the wedding party to enjoy themselves
0:25:25 > 0:25:27'and went to greet my home-made ice surprise.'
0:25:27 > 0:25:29So this is the one you did by yourself, is it?
0:25:29 > 0:25:34My Rhod Gilbert axe-grinder hands. But I'd very, very little time.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I'm just getting my retaliation in first.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Maybe I want this door to close on it.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41- Ta-da!- Wow.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45- Why is he wearing Y-fronts?- I just thought I'd Welsh him up a bit.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Do you think I've crossed the line into tacky?
0:25:47 > 0:25:51I think you've done such a good job of everything else, we allow this.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52Brilliant.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56'The room for the evening do was almost ready -
0:25:56 > 0:25:58'the Ice Academy's professional Oscar keeping mine company,
0:25:58 > 0:26:00'but the perverts hadn't put any pants on him.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03'I was about to ask Sarah if he could borrow her thong
0:26:03 > 0:26:04'when Craig popped in.'
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Me and Marilyn have just been having a cup of tea and, well,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10could we think of anything we could do any better? And the answer is no.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14- We're well chuffed.- High five! Oh, that is praise indeed.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16It's all gone brilliantly.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18"So far," he says, pointedly.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22- The night is young.- It could all still collapse.- It could go wrong.
0:26:22 > 0:26:28Ladies and gentlemen, the evening do is now open!
0:26:28 > 0:26:29CHEERING
0:26:29 > 0:26:34Come on in, come on in, sir. I knew you'd be first in. There you go.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36'I kick-started the evening do and I'm not sure
0:26:36 > 0:26:39'whether it was my home-made Y-fronts that spooked her,
0:26:39 > 0:26:42'but just as the guests were pouring into witness the first dance,
0:26:42 > 0:26:43'my bride vanished.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47'I decided to see what was going on.'
0:27:00 > 0:27:02She's just having a wee in the dress.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04She's having a wee in the dress?
0:27:04 > 0:27:07It's not a good idea to come in right this second.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10- Just give us two minutes.- When you say she's having a wee in the dress?
0:27:10 > 0:27:12I may just pop out the door for a moment.
0:27:12 > 0:27:13Sarah's currently on the toilet
0:27:13 > 0:27:16with two bridesmaids either side are holding the dress up
0:27:16 > 0:27:18and I'm looking very pretty next to her.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25I was told I'd be involved in this! I was promised a role in this!
0:27:25 > 0:27:28I learnt this in wedding planner school.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30I'm fine, honestly. I'm accredited.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32I've had my CBT check.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36- You've missed the toilet stop. - Have I?- Yeah.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40- I was promised! I was promised! - We told you it happens, didn't we?
0:27:40 > 0:27:43You promised me a go at the back of your dress.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45You guaranteed me a go.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48That's the only reason I got involved in this whole project.
0:27:48 > 0:27:52Seriously, the crowd is...they're losing patience down there.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54'Thong-gone Phooey was too late.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57'With Sarah's thong lifted up where it belonged,
0:27:57 > 0:27:58'I had one final thing to do.'
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Are you ready for the moment you've all been waiting for?
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Possibly not their first ever dance,
0:28:03 > 0:28:05but certainly their first as husband and wife.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09It is, ladies and gentlemen, the first dance for Gareth and Sarah.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12SONG: "Beyond The Sea"
0:28:12 > 0:28:17'As Sarah and Gareth took to the floor, the wedding bots faded away.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19'Any wardrobe malfunctions from now on,
0:28:19 > 0:28:21'Gareth and Sarah were on their own.'
0:28:21 > 0:28:24# Somewhere waiting for me... #
0:28:24 > 0:28:26You must be pretty chuffed with that.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29I'm pretty pleased with how it went. Are you pleased with how that went?
0:28:29 > 0:28:31I'm pleased because they're pleased.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34I'm pleased because Gareth's pleased and Sarah particularly pleased
0:28:34 > 0:28:38and Craig and Marilyn are pleased and I can see that that's what your job is about,
0:28:38 > 0:28:41that's where your reward is. When other people are pleased, you're pleased.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44That's the best bit. When they were doing that slow dance at the end,
0:28:44 > 0:28:47the smile on their faces, it was because of you.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49- I'd a little tear. - Did you have a little tear?- I did.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52- Did you give a shit? - I give that much of a shit.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55You gave that much of a shit. It's Hollywood. Come on, then.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57I know what you're thinking -
0:28:57 > 0:29:01there go the wedding planners and their big, pink boxes.
0:29:01 > 0:29:05# Save yourself if you can
0:29:05 > 0:29:08# Oh, my, help me again
0:29:08 > 0:29:11# I tried to tell you Watch out... #
0:29:11 > 0:29:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd