0:00:02 > 0:00:04I'm Rhod Gilbert, stand-up comedian. People tell me I've got the
0:00:04 > 0:00:06toughest job in town, but I'm sure
0:00:06 > 0:00:08I'd find other things far more difficult,
0:00:08 > 0:00:11so I'm ditching my regular job and trying something different.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15This is my work experience. And this week, I'm a vet!
0:00:20 > 0:00:23With just a few days to cram in five years' training,
0:00:23 > 0:00:26I needed a place that'd be happy to cut a few corners.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Boom - Budget Vets.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31I was in business. They might as well have called it Petstretcher.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Expecting drunken vets working on rain-soaked mattresses,
0:00:34 > 0:00:36I was pleasantly surprised.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Boss Peter Heathcote began my induction,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40and he certainly knew how to get me motivated.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43At the end of this, will I want to be a vet, do you think?
0:00:43 > 0:00:46- No. Categorically.- That's the quickest answer I've ever had.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Categorically, no.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Once you have seen behind the scenes, I think
0:00:50 > 0:00:53there are so many other things you would choose to do.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55It's a vocation, it's something that starts very young
0:00:55 > 0:00:58and then people work tirelessly to become vets.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01'I hate working tirelessly, so I was apprehensive.'
0:01:01 > 0:01:04But like a sniper with an erection, I couldn't wriggle out of this now.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Over the next few days I'd have to slot into this
0:01:07 > 0:01:09busy Newport practice, and with no time to lose, Peter took me
0:01:09 > 0:01:13to meet his furry friends - some puppies, not his testicles.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17The mum can't feed them, so they've all got to be fed and toileted.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Why can't the mum feed them?
0:01:19 > 0:01:22She's had some problems and then she's had the emergency operation.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24She hasn't got any milk.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Oh, my God, it's so beautiful.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Are you sure they're not just hamsters?
0:01:29 > 0:01:30You know what you're doing.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34'Pete knew what he was doing, but I clearly didn't, so vet nurse
0:01:34 > 0:01:38'and semi-pro Brian May tribute act Nicki started my training.'
0:01:38 > 0:01:43Oh, it's a little boy. Hello. Hello!
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Oh, it's a little girl.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47It's a little girl.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51Bit worrying, isn't it? 45 years old and I can't tell the difference.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53'We started with the basics - feeding.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56'I wasn't the only one who needed biology lessons.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58'The hungry pup scoured my barren man teats
0:01:58 > 0:02:00'in a vain search for milk.'
0:02:00 > 0:02:02I'm not sure we're going to do it like that.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04You can have a go, many have tried...
0:02:04 > 0:02:08- He's determined to find something. - He's looking.- Get off my breasts!
0:02:08 > 0:02:11'Despite Peter's doom-mongering and the pup's inappropriate suckling,
0:02:11 > 0:02:13'I was already loving it here.'
0:02:13 > 0:02:19- That's nice. Good boy or girl. - Little boy, this one.- Good boy.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20'Abandoned by their mother,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23'we had to teach the pups what to do with food once they'd eaten it.'
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Normally the bitch would clean them,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29she would be licking all the genital area here, the wee and poop.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33- They only wee and poo when they're rubbed?- When they're rubbed, yes.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34That's a bit disturbing.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Going to attempt to stimulate a puppy to the
0:02:38 > 0:02:40point at which it goes to the toilet.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43And then I'm going to clear it up. Which seems an odd logic!
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- Rub the vulva first. - Rub the vulva first?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- I can't really see what's what down here.- I'll hold her.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52You hold her...I'll stimulate her.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53PUPPY SQUEAKS
0:02:53 > 0:02:55"Daddy rubbed my vulva and I had a wee."
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Rub her bum as well and see if she'll poo for you.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Rub your bum as well and see if you'll poo for me.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01How big is it going to be if it comes out?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- It's coming out, I can see a bit. - Oh, hang on a minute.
0:03:03 > 0:03:09- Ugh! It's like Dijon mustard. - It is, you're right.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13That'd be lovely on a bit of ham, that. You take the condiments.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Anything with animal waste on - faeces, urine, vomit etc,
0:03:17 > 0:03:18goes in the yellow bin.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Yellow bin - blood, faeces, vomit.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21It's the same system I've got at home.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24My wife keeps putting things in the wrong bin, she's always putting
0:03:24 > 0:03:28body parts in with the bottles, and faeces in with the cardboard.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Peter's purple palace was like a Piccadilly Circus for pets.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Four-legged, three-legged, two-legged and no-legged,
0:03:34 > 0:03:36new patients poured in.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Just come in, a new arrival, I'm told is a gannet.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Which, to you and me, is a massive seagull with a yellow head.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Gannet.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47That's the way, good gannet.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Once we've treated him for lice, do you think we can do me as well?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52LAUGHTER
0:03:52 > 0:03:53My first day, I felt like Dr Dolittle -
0:03:53 > 0:03:56in that there was very little I could do.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Shove them in the boot!
0:03:57 > 0:04:00'But for now at least, I was enjoying being on arrivals.'
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Snake in a bag. Before I do it, is this a poisonous snake?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Well, that's why I want you to open the bag.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- Have a look inside. - That's disgusting.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- It's not disgusting. - It is, Peter.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Sorry.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I've got gannet lice.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I was having fun, but Peter was determined to spoil it for me.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24'He knew my stomach was weaker than a crane fly's quads,
0:04:24 > 0:04:26'so he made me sit in on an operation.
0:04:26 > 0:04:31Feel just a little queasy, just a slight...
0:04:31 > 0:04:35slight smattering of cold sweat all over the body.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40I'd be observing a routine castration.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44'When it came to dog's bollocks, vet Alexa was the dog's bollocks.'
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Look at that. Gosh, you literally sort of rip it out of it.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55I'm feeling a sort of phantom castration going on myself.
0:04:55 > 0:04:56HE LAUGHS
0:04:56 > 0:04:58I can feel everything you're doing!
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Even though Bailey was totally unconscious, he could tell
0:05:01 > 0:05:04I was nervous, and held my hand throughout the procedure.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- You can see the parting.- Oh, God.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Yeah, that's helped, that's really helped(!)
0:05:09 > 0:05:13I would say the level of responsibility is pretty heavy.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17In my job I have no responsibility, other than trying to give
0:05:17 > 0:05:19people a good night, make sure they have a bit of a laugh.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21It's not really the same thing.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23There's a pair of testicles on a table over there -
0:05:23 > 0:05:24it's a different level.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26'Like Ronnie O'Sullivan on a bad day,
0:05:26 > 0:05:27'Bailey had left two red balls on a table.'
0:05:27 > 0:05:30But there was no time to fetch my snooker cue,
0:05:30 > 0:05:31we were on to the next patient.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Peter was still trying to destroy any thoughts I had of being a vet,
0:05:35 > 0:05:36and decided to up the ante.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39But it was a horse dog with an anus horrificus.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Buddy...Buddy.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Holly's just going to hold him so I can explain to Rhod what to do.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Don't think we need to hold him, do we? He's fine like this!
0:05:47 > 0:05:49'When Nicki explained exactly what we'd be doing,
0:05:49 > 0:05:52'I was as excited as a puppy's vulva.'
0:05:52 > 0:05:54We've got the anus here, just inside,
0:05:54 > 0:05:56what you're feeling for is two grape-sized swellings...
0:05:56 > 0:05:59I switched off, once you said, "Inside Buddy's anus,"
0:05:59 > 0:06:01I switched off.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03'Buddy needed a routine anal gland expression.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06'His ass was packed so tight he was farting pure house brick
0:06:06 > 0:06:08'and the ANUS was on me to sort it out.'
0:06:08 > 0:06:11It can squirt out, that's why you don't look directly at it,
0:06:11 > 0:06:13or you will have a faceful.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- This is like some horrible practical joke.- So this finger...
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Do you mean I have to choose which one?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20It's such a shame for the others to miss out.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22'I believe in freedom of expression,
0:06:22 > 0:06:24'but not when it's the freedom to express bum juice in my face.'
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- Can I at least have some protective...?- Do you want a mask?
0:06:27 > 0:06:29- Yes, please.- I can get you a mask.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I'll pop out and get one.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34While the anal gland juice flies out, it'll just be nice to have
0:06:34 > 0:06:36something between that and my face.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Buddy was a weapon of ass destruction,
0:06:38 > 0:06:42so I battened down my facial hatches and prepared for the poonami.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- This is horrific.- I'll hold the tail.- This is horrific!
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Oh, I can't, I can't stick my finger up his arse, it's just too wrong.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49This is just an anus,
0:06:49 > 0:06:52it's just some tissue joined together with some more
0:06:52 > 0:06:55connective tissue and skin, some blood vessels, there's nothing else.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57I realise that, but you could say that
0:06:57 > 0:07:00about Holly and I'm not about to shove my finger up her arse.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Sorry, Holly, I was just using you as an example.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Could have been anyone.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- Ah-HA! Sorry. - Can you feel a little...?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- No, I'm not in.- Not in yet.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Oh, God, this is disgusting.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17My glasses have steamed up. Oh, God, it's in.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21- You want to be a good inch inside. - I am an inch inside.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22And can you feel any kind of swelling,
0:07:22 > 0:07:26like a grape-sized swelling or smaller swelling?
0:07:26 > 0:07:27No.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30'Buddy was backed up like an FBI hard drive,
0:07:30 > 0:07:33'as hard as tractor tyres, so Nicki the arse whisperer took over.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37'Like a bum-based King Midas, everything she touched shat itself.'
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- Ooh, there we go. - Oh, my God. Good boy.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44There you go, that's what we were trying to get out.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49There's two types of people in the world -
0:07:49 > 0:07:51the people who've done that and the people who haven't.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54There's no way back to the old me.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58To the old world. To the old order.
0:08:01 > 0:08:02It had been a weird first day,
0:08:02 > 0:08:05but despite Gonadgate and Fartmageddon, I'd had a great time.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07But Peter was still trying to put me off.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11'I hadn't even rubbed his vulva and he was still pissing on my chips.'
0:08:11 > 0:08:13You've only had a real gentle taste today,
0:08:13 > 0:08:15but you've also got to be aware that just having
0:08:15 > 0:08:18an idea in your mind that every day's going to be wonderful
0:08:18 > 0:08:21and it's just playing with animals, that's not what it is.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24I was slightly worried about what Peter had in store for me,
0:08:24 > 0:08:25but I'd find out soon enough.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28If my first day had been Salvador Dali strange,
0:08:28 > 0:08:30'my second one was about to get Francis Bacon weird,'
0:08:30 > 0:08:33as Peter sent me out on pet ambulance duty.
0:08:33 > 0:08:34COCK CROWS
0:08:36 > 0:08:38This is Peter's farm,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41where he thinks somebody might have got his pig pregnant.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46It's down to me find out whether that's true or not.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50I had no idea what to do, but how hard could it be to
0:08:50 > 0:08:52ultrasound a 700-pound pork Portakabin?
0:08:52 > 0:08:56What we do is send sound waves into the pig's abdomen, and then, as
0:08:56 > 0:08:59the sound waves are received back, it produces an image on the screen.
0:08:59 > 0:09:00This is the actual probe,
0:09:00 > 0:09:02and hopefully we'll be able to pick out foetuses.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Imagine you were a pig - where am I looking for?
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Get on all fours.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12- To help me to see what I've got to do.- Right.- So imagine you're a pig.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15If I'm a pig, we've got a line of boobies, not just two,
0:09:15 > 0:09:18so in between a row of boobies and a line along the side here.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20'I couldn't wait to get in there and gel up Dotty's boobies,
0:09:20 > 0:09:23'when Nicki the arse whisperer dropped a bombshell.'
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Dotty seems to be in a bad mood this morning.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27She's really not happy with what we're doing.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30- What does that mean in pig terms? - Less tolerant, really.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33She might show her teeth, and the worst case scenario she'd try
0:09:33 > 0:09:35and sort of go for your legs or your feet.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Biting?- Yeah.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39'I wasn't sure if the arse whisperer was telling porky pies,
0:09:39 > 0:09:41'but Peter left me in no doubt.'
0:09:41 > 0:09:44She's charged, and she's actually come over that gate...
0:09:44 > 0:09:45She's got over that gate?!
0:09:45 > 0:09:47She's got over that gate, which is pretty impressive.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50'I needed some protection.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53'I'd forgotten my pork sword and my spam javelin,
0:09:53 > 0:09:57'but luckily Peter had the latest hi-tech anti-pig defence system.'
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- So this is a pig board.- Pig board?
0:10:00 > 0:10:04A pig board, and this is your safety when you go in there with her,
0:10:04 > 0:10:06because you're going to hold this...
0:10:06 > 0:10:07Doesn't look very technical,
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- this piece of safety equipment. - Not very technical.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12You can use that just to shield you,
0:10:12 > 0:10:15so if she knocks you out the way, you've got that board to deflect her.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18At what point am I allowed to smack her over the head with this board?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Preferably not.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24You're just keeping that between her mouth and you,
0:10:24 > 0:10:27and then trying to rub her belly just to get her nice and relaxed,
0:10:27 > 0:10:30so that you can actually get her into a position to take
0:10:30 > 0:10:31the ultrasound scan.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35'Dotty put the Arnie into bacon sarnie.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36'Clutching my pig swatter nervously,
0:10:36 > 0:10:40'I got in the ring with the waddling sausage apocalypse.'
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- Is there a noise I can make or something I can say?- Just say hello.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- Keep away from her mouth. - I've found this is what
0:10:45 > 0:10:46I do with animals. Is that nice?
0:10:46 > 0:10:50- That's nice.- Relaxing, innit? - It's lovely.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- She's showing you her teeth now. - Is she?- But that's fine.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57God, I feel like a bullfighter. Is this good?
0:10:57 > 0:10:59DOTTY OINKS
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Which side? Any side, and then just stroke her belly.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03There you go.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06She's actually bitten one of those boards in half in the past.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09'As I tangoed with the hormonal bacon bungalow,
0:11:09 > 0:11:11'Peter noticed something odd about her behaviour.'
0:11:11 > 0:11:14- It looks like she wants you to be her partner.- Really?- Yeah.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I'm genuinely not interested, Dotty, nothing personal.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Well, it is personal, it's totally personal, in fact.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23'Peter could tell the grumpy gammonfest wasn't pregnant.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25'In fact, he was convinced the horny harbinger of ham
0:11:25 > 0:11:26'wanted me to pork her.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30'I wasn't ready for that and needed to get out of there fast.'
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Stay calm, Gilbert. - Stay calm? Jesus Christ.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36She's starting to swell at the back end.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39That kind of behaviour for her, knowing her for the last
0:11:39 > 0:11:43four years, that's what she's like when she's coming into season.
0:11:43 > 0:11:44So there's no point in me
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- going in there with the ultrasound equipment?- No point.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50- Cos I have to say, I don't think I'd be able to do it.- No, you wouldn't.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52It wouldn't be safe for you or her.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- Was she really doing signs that she wanted me as a mate?- Yeah.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00- I don't think she's that fussy, to be honest, but...- Thanks(!)
0:12:01 > 0:12:02Slightly traumatised,
0:12:02 > 0:12:05I was starting to see why Peter had tried to put me off being a vet.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Before I could hand in my notice, we had another call.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Peter worked closely with a local charity that looked after stray
0:12:11 > 0:12:15and rescue dogs, and I had a feeling the fun was about to stop.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Unfortunately we've had two dogs in, about an hour ago
0:12:18 > 0:12:22in a pretty bad way, and I need you to give them a check.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25'The charity were very concerned about one of the dogs in particular.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27'Oscar was a Staffordshire bull terrier in
0:12:27 > 0:12:30'dire need of a medical examination.'
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- OK, my sweetheart. - (There we are. There we go.)
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Good boy.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45OSCAR BREATHES UNEVENLY
0:12:46 > 0:12:48So he seems a little bit dehydrated at the moment,
0:12:48 > 0:12:52so what we'd probably advise is if we hospitalise him on a drip and
0:12:52 > 0:12:56get him hydrated, and probably start him on some antibiotics as well.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00We can monitor how he gets on over the next 24 hours, see what
0:13:00 > 0:13:02improvement we get and whether we need to do
0:13:02 > 0:13:03- any further tests.- Steady, steady.
0:13:05 > 0:13:06So we're going to take him in?
0:13:06 > 0:13:08I'm just glad he's going to have a chance for now.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11One step at a time, isn't it?
0:13:11 > 0:13:14'Poor Oscar was almost completely blind and clearly very weak.'
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Vet Alexa wanted to get him back for treatment as soon as possible.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22Things, my friend, can only get better. Good boy, nearly there.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Nearly there, get you in the ambulance.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Back at the surgery, I was desperately hoping that once
0:13:28 > 0:13:32we'd got Oscar rehydrated, we'd start seeing signs of improvement.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Good boy, good boy. One last short journey for today.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Then you can relax and sleep all you like, mate.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Good boy.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Good boy!
0:13:43 > 0:13:46It's amazing how quickly you do bond. We've only met today.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I feel pretty involved.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Vets are going to give his insides a good old check out.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53As somebody without any qualifications
0:13:53 > 0:13:55in this area at all, I can tell you that he's
0:13:55 > 0:14:00letting out some of the most horrific farts I've ever smelt.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04But I think under the circumstances, I'm going to let him off.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05No pun intended.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10It'd been an emotional day, but there was no time to dwell on it.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12I needed some more training, cos Peter wanted me
0:14:12 > 0:14:15to experience first-hand the life-and-death responsibility
0:14:15 > 0:14:16that came with being a vet.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Tomorrow's going to be a really big day for you,
0:14:18 > 0:14:22we're stepping your level of responsibility up.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24You're going to be monitoring the anaesthetics.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Sara's going to be looking after you, making sure things go to plan.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30'Tomorrow I'd be assisting in surgery,
0:14:30 > 0:14:31'and there was a lot to learn.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33'Nurse Sara had her work cut out,
0:14:33 > 0:14:35'cos the closest I've come to operating on an animal
0:14:35 > 0:14:37'is pricking a sausage.'
0:14:37 > 0:14:39This is the anaesthetic vaporiser machine.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42This is basically what keeps your patient asleep.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45So the levels of gas that you need is determined with
0:14:45 > 0:14:48the levels on the dial. You've got one to five, OK?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50The depth they go in depends on what we've got,
0:14:50 > 0:14:53and it does happen fairly quickly depending...
0:14:53 > 0:14:55'I was knackered after an emotional day,
0:14:55 > 0:14:58'but tomorrow I'd be in theatre, and I needed to know this stuff.'
0:14:59 > 0:15:00So, to turn your oxygen on,
0:15:00 > 0:15:03you just literally flick your dial all the way round, so when
0:15:03 > 0:15:06you've got oxygen in the system, can you notice the little...?
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- It's revolving.- Yeah. And then if you just check them...
0:15:08 > 0:15:10'As we pushed on into the night,
0:15:10 > 0:15:12'the dedication required to work here was obvious.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14'Unless you normally hang out with pigs, dogs,
0:15:14 > 0:15:17'ferrets and gannets, you could kiss goodbye to a social life.'
0:15:17 > 0:15:20And just make sure then that you've got enough isoflurane in the
0:15:20 > 0:15:23system then, obviously, for that procedure that you're doing, yeah.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25'Sara ploughed on and on,
0:15:25 > 0:15:28'force-feeding my brain like she was fattening it up for pate.'
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Keep an eye on this level cos we don't want it to drop any lower
0:15:31 > 0:15:33than that, cos otherwise you run the risk of running out of
0:15:33 > 0:15:36anaesthetic gas, and obviously while your patient's on the table
0:15:36 > 0:15:39there is the risk of your patient waking up.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- It's a very big responsibility. - Yeah.- You're the difference between
0:15:42 > 0:15:45it being a good outcome for that patient or a bad outcome.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49- A good outcome or a bad outcome. That's life or death.- Yeah.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51'I could feel my fattened pate brain oozing out of my ears.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52'I was ready for bed,
0:15:52 > 0:15:55'but Sara wanted to check I'd taken it all in.'
0:15:55 > 0:15:56What's important about the valve?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58The valve has got to be open before we start.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01If the valve is shut and things start coming through,
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- this could expand, inflate and actually burst.- Correct.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Now can I go home?- What should we be checking with our isoflurane unit?
0:16:07 > 0:16:10We should be checking that the isoflurane before we start
0:16:10 > 0:16:11is above that bottom line there,
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- like a little dipstick. - That's correct.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Now, please, I'm exhausted! Miss, can I go home?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20You can after we've got theatre ready,
0:16:20 > 0:16:22so we have to clean theatre ready.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24I don't want to clean theatre ready, Miss!
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I'm going to be involved in operations,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31and in a lot more hands-on and a lot more technical...
0:16:31 > 0:16:34just a lot more responsibility than I've done up to now.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38And, er, that is, er, that's weighing on my mind.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40Can I go home now, please?
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Yep, we've just got one more little job to do.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43We just need to check how Oscar's doing
0:16:43 > 0:16:46with the night vet before we go.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49That...I can do, as long as he's...
0:16:50 > 0:16:51As long as he's improved a bit,
0:16:51 > 0:16:53that will give me a little lift to finish the day.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57'It was approaching midnight and tomorrow was a big day,
0:16:57 > 0:17:00'but I did want to check on Oscar and settle him down for the night.'
0:17:00 > 0:17:03His condition at the moment I would say is still quite critical.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06He's so weak from everything he's gone through.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09All we can do for him tonight now is give him supportive therapy
0:17:09 > 0:17:11and see how he responds to that.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14'I hadn't realised a vets' was this intense.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16'Behind the scenes the patients needed you
0:17:16 > 0:17:17'24 hours a day, seven days a week.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20'It was very hard to just go home.
0:17:24 > 0:17:25'First thing next morning,
0:17:25 > 0:17:27'I headed straight in to see how Oscar was doing.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30'Vet Ellie was on duty and gave me an update.'
0:17:32 > 0:17:35He doesn't seem to be showing much signs of improvement.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38No, no, he's still sort of very, very poorly,
0:17:38 > 0:17:41and obviously he can't see anything.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43He can't really sort of stand up either,
0:17:43 > 0:17:46he's falling all over the place, you have to sort of think of,
0:17:46 > 0:17:48"Is that a good enough life for him, really,
0:17:48 > 0:17:51"where he can't do the things he's supposed to do as a dog?"
0:17:51 > 0:17:53'The vets felt that Oscar was too old and frail
0:17:53 > 0:17:56'to cope with the major operations he needed to pull through,
0:17:56 > 0:17:59'and a very difficult decision had been made.'
0:17:59 > 0:18:02In his case, then, the best interest for him would be
0:18:02 > 0:18:04to put him to sleep.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06OSCAR WHEEZES
0:18:08 > 0:18:12- That's hard. - Mm, it is, it is tough, yeah.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15You know, you have to sort of keep your feelings out of it, really.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17It is difficult to step away, it is.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20You know, you have to sort of think of what is best for him.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32What we'll do is inject into the catheter going into his vein,
0:18:32 > 0:18:34so it is like an anaesthetic, really.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37It's going to be painless for him cos he hasn't...
0:18:37 > 0:18:39He won't feel a needle or anything going in.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43So he'll start drifting off to sleep now, OK.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45OSCAR WHEEZES
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Good boy, Oscar.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53It's difficult, innit?
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Good boy. Good boy.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07(Good boy.)
0:19:09 > 0:19:10- You OK?- Yeah.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19It's important to remember that he was surrounded by people that
0:19:19 > 0:19:22genuinely cared about him at this time.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28It's very sad, it's hard.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Even though you know it's totally the right thing to do,
0:19:34 > 0:19:35it's still, er...
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Watching a life disappear is hard.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43I know he's gone, but I'm still wishing him well
0:19:43 > 0:19:47and still sending him off with a "Go on, my son.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51"Get up to doggy heaven and give 'em hell up there," innit?
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Good boy.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57Good boy.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Right, let's get the hell out of here.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Pete told me at the start of this to enjoy the positives.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22The positive moments that you get, really breathe them in deep
0:20:22 > 0:20:25and hold on to them because you'll need them
0:20:25 > 0:20:27in the more difficult, emotionally challenging times.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31When I think of putting Oscar down, er, you know,
0:20:31 > 0:20:34you need things like the ducklings.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Finding 16 ducklings in the back of a BMW,
0:20:37 > 0:20:39you need those lighter moments to, er,
0:20:39 > 0:20:43you need to hold on to those to get you through the harder times.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45And he was absolutely right.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52'I now knew exactly what Peter had been on about. It was bloody tough.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55'One of the hardest things was always having to just keep going
0:20:55 > 0:20:57'and move on to the next patient.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00'I really needed a positive patient outcome to lift my spirits.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04'The Hope Rescue Team were back with a hairy horde of homeless hounds
0:21:04 > 0:21:07'to be neutered, and my next patient was just the tonic I needed.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11'Alison had brought in a wiry bundle-fun called Poppy.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15'Poppy was in for a routine spay, and I'd be on anaesthetic duty.'
0:21:15 > 0:21:17So what we need to do today, Rhod,
0:21:17 > 0:21:19is get informed consent from the client.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21So we need to explain what the procedure is.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- She's going to be given a general anaesthetic.- Yeah.
0:21:24 > 0:21:29- You're aware of what that means? - Yes.- Knocked out completely.- Yeah.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33- Gas.- It is quite a serious procedure that we're doing for Poppy today.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36We will do a full ovarian hysterectomy on her.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40So, in layman's terms, she's going to leave without her...
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Ovaries and her uterus.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Her ovaries and her uterus.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- We're all clear?- Yeah, that's fine.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Poppy, are you clear?
0:21:48 > 0:21:49One blink for yes.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52One blink for yes.
0:21:52 > 0:21:53Thank you. Done.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57'With Poppy's legally binding blink,
0:21:57 > 0:22:00'I whisked her off for her pre-med, where Vet Ellie knocked her out -
0:22:00 > 0:22:02'with sedative drugs, not her fist.'
0:22:02 > 0:22:05And then your Uncle Rhod is going to make sure there's enough oxygen,
0:22:05 > 0:22:08enough gas for you to keep you anaesthetised
0:22:08 > 0:22:09at just the right level.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12You can trust your old Uncle Rhod, can't you?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15I've done this 100 times.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21I did tell her a little white lie there.
0:22:21 > 0:22:22Does seem to have relaxed her.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26'Poppy was going to have her girl gonads removed,
0:22:26 > 0:22:28'but she was hairier than a shot-putter's shoulders.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30'As she started to lose consciousness,
0:22:30 > 0:22:32'we plucked her, basted her in butter
0:22:32 > 0:22:34'and popped her on a baking tray.'
0:22:34 > 0:22:36The closest I've come to this is carrying
0:22:36 > 0:22:38a chicken from a unit into the oven!
0:22:40 > 0:22:43'It was time to put my foot on the gas - LOL, ROFL, etc.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45'Under the watchful eye of Nurse Nicky, it was my job to keep
0:22:45 > 0:22:50'Poppy sedated comfortably, safely, and most importantly, alive-ly.'
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Just popped a heart-rate monitor onto Poppy's tongue
0:22:53 > 0:22:55to check her pulse.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59This is a very odd feeling.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03It's certainly a first for me to be involved in any kind of surgery.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06'While Vet Ellie skilfully plucked out Poppy's puppy pack,
0:23:06 > 0:23:09'Nicky made sure that what I was doing wouldn't lead to
0:23:09 > 0:23:11'a negative outcome for the patient.'
0:23:11 > 0:23:14We still are continuously checking the dog's respiration,
0:23:14 > 0:23:16her colour, anything you think is unusual.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19'I was concentrating hard to remember my training
0:23:19 > 0:23:20'and monitor Poppy's vitals.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23'But the bleeping heart-rate monitor was stressing me out.
0:23:23 > 0:23:24'Like a coked-up microwave,
0:23:24 > 0:23:28'it was a constant reminder that it was just us keeping her alive.'
0:23:28 > 0:23:31OK, I'm just checking her blink reflex.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34The eye position is down, so the eye, she's actually looking,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36pupils and thingies have dropped down.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39OK, the jaw tone is... feels very slack.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43- So do I mark "slack" for that? - Put an S.- S for slack.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44Can you just have a look at her eye position?
0:23:44 > 0:23:47It doesn't look as down as it was earlier.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49I can see quite a lot of the eye.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52'For a nervy first-time anaesthetist, every twitch,
0:23:52 > 0:23:56'every bleep or lack of bleep was a heart-stopping moment.'
0:23:56 > 0:23:58MONITOR BEEPS
0:23:58 > 0:24:00- You just moved it on the tongue. - Sometimes what...
0:24:00 > 0:24:05Even though you're here and I know that my responsibilities...
0:24:05 > 0:24:08In any way, you panic if you don't see the chest rise for a second.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12- You panic.- Last thing you want is somebody, with an anaesthetist,
0:24:12 > 0:24:16is to be complacent and think, "Haven't had a breath for a while."
0:24:16 > 0:24:19You've got to be straight on it, otherwise you would lose something.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22- Oh, I'm glad I've got the right instincts.- No, that's right.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26The main sense of anxiety or stress or drama or
0:24:26 > 0:24:29responsibility is coming from that bloody machine.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30'It may have been a routine operation,
0:24:30 > 0:24:32'but for me it felt like a lifetime.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36'It was finally time to sew Poppy up after one important inventory.'
0:24:36 > 0:24:40So, we've got one, two, three, four, five swabs
0:24:40 > 0:24:42and I've still got my four needles.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45- So you're doing a kind of check that nothing is left in there?- Yeah.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Nobody left in there? We're all here? Nicky?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- And she's still got her glasses. - Present.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52- You've still got your glasses on! - I can still see, that's good.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56- Still can't believe I'm going to do the next one.- Maybe.- I'm not.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58I'm not doing the next one.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59Relax.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03'I was very relieved. Poppy wouldn't be playing Twister for a few weeks,
0:25:03 > 0:25:04'but she seemed fine.'
0:25:05 > 0:25:09Immediately, as soon as we turned the isoflurane, the anaesthetic, off
0:25:09 > 0:25:13she's starting to come round, legs are starting to move.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15- So her gag reflex is intact? - Yeah, here we go.- Good girl.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- Hi, lovely. Good morning.- Good girl.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20'Call it puppy love, but I wanted to stay with Poppy
0:25:20 > 0:25:22'and look after her for a bit.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25'But in this job there's no time to dwell on the positive outcomes
0:25:25 > 0:25:28'either, and once again it was straight on to another patient.'
0:25:29 > 0:25:32I'm back at Peter's farm to see Dotty the pig.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36She's in season, so I've come back today
0:25:36 > 0:25:40potentially to artificially inseminate my first pig.
0:25:40 > 0:25:44To artificially inseminate my first anything!
0:25:44 > 0:25:46It's a beautiful day for it.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:26:13 > 0:26:16This is what you're going to insert into her, OK?
0:26:16 > 0:26:18You need to turn this anticlockwise.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Going to put a little bit of lubrication on there first,
0:26:21 > 0:26:24just to get her in the mood, erm, and then push it in nice and firm
0:26:24 > 0:26:26and you'll feel it lock into place.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29You shouldn't really be able to pull it back very easily
0:26:29 > 0:26:32when it's fully inserted and locked into place.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43Start twisting. Getting ready to party. That's it, yeah.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Bit of resistance. That's it, that's good. Push in there, Rhod.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Yeah, she likes you. She's ready.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53'Unsurprisingly, artificial insemination didn't come naturally.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56'They say you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear,
0:26:56 > 0:26:59'but I was making a right pig's ear out of this sow's silk purse!'
0:27:01 > 0:27:06- There we are. And you've just mated your first pig.- Thanks, Peter.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- Well done.- First of many, I feel.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12'Peter was confident that Dotty and I would soon hear
0:27:12 > 0:27:14'the clickety-clack of tiny trotters.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17'I wasn't so sure - I hadn't even had a lardon.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20'But for once I was glad there was no time to dwell on it.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22'It was back to base to check on Poppy.'
0:27:22 > 0:27:28Hello! She's recovered tremendously well and quickly.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31'Poppy's operation had been a complete success, but with no
0:27:31 > 0:27:35'home for her to go to, it didn't feel like a totally happy ending.'
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Still a bit of an emotional tug to see her going off.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Form that bond and then off she goes to a rescue centre.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44Well, fingers crossed she'll find a home.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47It's quite hard, you don't quite know what her future's going to be.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55So how have you found it over the last four days?
0:27:57 > 0:28:00I think my body language should give you some idea.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04This is a wonderful vocation...
0:28:04 > 0:28:06and a shit job.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08What I mean by that is that it's...
0:28:08 > 0:28:10This job, you give up your social life,
0:28:10 > 0:28:12you live and work and breathe it.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Our vets, they don't feel like they've given up anything, really,
0:28:15 > 0:28:19because this is what they want to do, this is their vocation.
0:28:19 > 0:28:22And that means that they were the right people to become vets.
0:28:22 > 0:28:26You've seen that while you've been here and you've been part of that,
0:28:26 > 0:28:28and well done to you because you've really stuck with it.
0:28:28 > 0:28:32- I had my finger up a dog's ass. - Yeah, perhaps we'll forget that bit.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37'Two weeks later, I had almost forgotten about it,
0:28:37 > 0:28:39'but I hadn't forgotten about Poppy.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41'Luckily the rescue centre had found her a new home,
0:28:41 > 0:28:43'so I paid them a visit.'
0:28:43 > 0:28:44Hello! Hello, Poppy!
0:28:44 > 0:28:46How's your new home?
0:28:46 > 0:28:48How is your new home?
0:28:48 > 0:28:50(D'you like it?
0:28:50 > 0:28:52(What's that say there?
0:28:52 > 0:28:54("Home sweet home."
0:28:54 > 0:28:56(Is it good to be home?)