0:00:10 > 0:00:12# Here we go... #
0:00:14 > 0:00:15Val!
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Hello!
0:00:28 > 0:00:31MUSIC PLAYS
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Valerie?
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Oh!
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Hee-hee! You lot.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Well, I'm really glad I won my tribunal!
0:00:53 > 0:00:56I wish all my friends were here to celebrate.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01They're still fixing stuff.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04I'll just go upstairs to the toilet
0:01:04 > 0:01:06and then, er... then I'll pop down again.
0:01:12 > 0:01:13DOORBELL RINGS
0:01:16 > 0:01:18The doorbell!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Can someone get the door, please?
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Well, I would, but I'm not supposed to know about it.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Oh!
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Oh, just let me orchestrate it... Thanks very much(!)
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Thoughtless.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41KEY TURNS
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- Val!- Oh, I knew that would happen!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Shh... Up here, come here.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- What?- Shh! Come up here.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55- What's the matter? - Just come up here!
0:01:55 > 0:01:57- I've only been gone two minutes.- Shh!
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- It's a surprise. - Yeah, I... Thank you very much.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02I'll go along with it for an hour,
0:02:02 > 0:02:04but after that, I want everybody out.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07- What do you mean? - I don't want them here.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11I've been under enormous strain... I don't feel like celebrating.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15- I'm actually ill with it! - Roger, you've won.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19I've begun to sweat where I didn't know I could - in the middle of my forearms.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22It's a tingling, unpleasant sensation, and it's stress.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- Roger!- Shh!
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Are there people in there?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34No. The surprise is in my hand.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Oh.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Oh, right, well, yeah, it doesn't matter.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43- Well, what did you think I meant? - It doesn't matter, it's OK.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Did you think I'd got people round?
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Yeah.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55I thought that perhaps you'd organised a surprise party,
0:02:55 > 0:02:57and loads of people from the Winter Gardens
0:02:57 > 0:03:00had come to hoist me aloft and cheer me on.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02No.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03OK.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05No, it's...just me.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08- Yeah.- Oh.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10No, no, that's fine!
0:03:10 > 0:03:12You know, you come into a house in use,
0:03:12 > 0:03:15you've won, your mind races.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- Well, the surprise is under here. - Thanks very much.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Honestly, Rog, I feel like a disappointment now.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25No, no, no, no, I'm relieved.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Well, I was all set to dance down the hall with it.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- Right, well, please do. - No, not in this atmosphere, no.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33I'll just walk normally, that's all.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36No, I would very much like you to dance.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38No, not now, definitely not.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Now, you see this is not how I want it to be!
0:03:41 > 0:03:44I want it to be the way it was going to be!
0:03:44 > 0:03:48It's not my fault that I'm under huge pressure.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52We're all under huge pressure with it, Roger!
0:03:52 > 0:03:56Everyone in a 50-mile radius has lived every single minute with you.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Right, but last night I dreamt
0:03:59 > 0:04:02that by mistake I was at a far-right rally in South Africa.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05I was spotted, it was absolutely terrifying.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Will you speak normally, Roger? There's no-one here.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12I had to try and sidle my way via the swimming pool.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Well, that would be normal for a night before a verdict.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17I was spotted by a distant group of men
0:04:17 > 0:04:21that said nothing but wore green blazers,
0:04:21 > 0:04:24and they had beards like they were all in ZZ Top.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28It doesn't sounds as awful as it was, but trust me, it was.
0:04:28 > 0:04:29Right...but, Roger, you've won,
0:04:29 > 0:04:33so, Rog, all of this is over!
0:04:33 > 0:04:35It's over.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- It's over!- Ah...
0:04:38 > 0:04:40- Ah!- Oh, come here.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42- Oh!- Ah, it's OK, it's OK.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Oh, thank you, my stalwart and my talisman.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Oh, come on, cheer up, Rog. You've won!
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Let's have a look at your surprise.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00OK... Ta-da!
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Cask ale!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Can you see now why I had to be so careful about the timing?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Oh, that's beautiful, Val, it's a beautiful gesture.
0:05:07 > 0:05:12Look, "Roger Stevenson was unfairly dismissed."
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Yeah, legal fact, but don't go telling anyone,
0:05:14 > 0:05:17because otherwise the pub'll lose their licence.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19- Oh, I won't, I won't. - No, don't go back to work and...
0:05:19 > 0:05:22I know, "Don't go back to work"!
0:05:22 > 0:05:24I don't even know when I actually start again.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I have to do this thing called a reintegrated return.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Well, good.- Yeah, for people who have been away a long time.
0:05:30 > 0:05:35Yeah, but that'll be just the law, that's just a legal requirement.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39I love the law. I've got every faith in it.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Oh, Val, after the verdict,
0:05:41 > 0:05:46I went up to the panel and I said, "Thank you for justice."
0:05:48 > 0:05:51It was funny, because in the pub after,
0:05:51 > 0:05:56Steve and Fran popped down, and then...they went away again.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59And I thought, "I just wonder..."
0:05:59 > 0:06:02No, Roger, I didn't have time, I'm sorry.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04I didn't get your text till five,
0:06:04 > 0:06:06and I was still in the meeting, so I couldn't ring.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10And when you could, I was in the pub and I couldn't hear the phone.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13And I was right across from Sue in the meeting.
0:06:13 > 0:06:18We're very well attuned, Sue and I, and so I got your text
0:06:18 > 0:06:21and I just gave her the slightest nod like...like that,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24and all this in the middle of the senior staff meeting!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26The slightest nod...right?
0:06:26 > 0:06:29So I went...and then she went...
0:06:29 > 0:06:32"Delighted."
0:06:36 > 0:06:38You're having spaghetti as well, OK?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Gorgeous, yeah.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I didn't want to go out.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Last night, as I was lying in bed,
0:06:52 > 0:06:58I thought, "If Roger wins, I'm going to cook in the pans.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01"I will use them.
0:07:01 > 0:07:02"I will."
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Oh, please say we'll have a holiday soon.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Oh, we must. Look at me tonight, Val.
0:07:12 > 0:07:17- Stress-wise, I'm at the end. - Yeah... Oh...
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Not in the Scottish islands, though, eh?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22No, not ever again.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Somewhere where there's restaurants and not just a Co-op.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28OK, I got it wrong.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Do you want to dry?
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Yeah.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Look, I've ended up with all of these.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- Have you taken the labels off all of them?- Yeah.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49I've only used three for the dinner,
0:07:49 > 0:07:53but, yes, all of the pans are now opened.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I thought... No, I'm all right.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00I thought...if we used them tonight,
0:08:00 > 0:08:02he could be part of it, you know, join in.
0:08:02 > 0:08:07Yeah. It's a family occasion. It includes him.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Yeah, I think it does.
0:08:12 > 0:08:17- I'll get you a drink. - Yeah, come on. You've won!
0:08:17 > 0:08:19WE'VE won.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22You ran a damn good campaign, Val.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- How's your pint?- Great, thanks.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Oh, you know who I'd like to invite, Val,
0:08:44 > 0:08:47to the surprise party, if we were having one?
0:08:47 > 0:08:50The panel. The people on the panel.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52- But they wouldn't be able to come. - Yes, they would.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54No, they wouldn't.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59That would be entirely inappropriate behaviour on their behalf.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02They'd be banned from doing things like that.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06Things like what? My surprise party?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Yeah, they'd be hauled up for fraternising with a claimant.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- Well, I want them to come. - Well, they can't come.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Well, I want them to come, so...
0:09:14 > 0:09:17What does it matter? We're not having one anyway.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20No, so why are you being so snippy? What's the matter?
0:09:20 > 0:09:21Excuse me!
0:09:21 > 0:09:24I have just stood on these very two legs
0:09:24 > 0:09:27for a verdict but hours ago.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Yes, but you won.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Yeah, but it's so...defining.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36The whole process has made me take stock.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Oh, that's someone else I'd like to invite.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Pete Potts.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43I'm not sure that's such a good idea.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Yeah, I would love for the panel to meet him.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50I would say, "May I introduce my university professor
0:09:50 > 0:09:53"and the world's greatest living botanist?"
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Yeah, but he wouldn't be able to come either, would he?
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Because he's 85 now.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02Yeah, he would be able to come, because I'd go and pick him up,
0:10:02 > 0:10:04drive through the night.
0:10:04 > 0:10:09Or at least pay his train fare... and collect him from the station.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13If he could get himself on a train, that would help.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18Well, there is a direct line, isn't there, from Sheffield to here?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21If he could get himself on the train, he'd only have to sit,
0:10:21 > 0:10:23and if he needed any help,
0:10:23 > 0:10:26there are the people with little hats and the portable ramps.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29No, no, his son would bring him, one of the sons.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33They'd be in their 60s now, Roger. They've got lives of their own.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37Yeah but no, they would. They would drive him, definitely.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40That's what sons do for fathers.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Well... And another thing at the party,
0:10:43 > 0:10:47he wouldn't be able to smoke his pipe indoors, like he usually does.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49- He would.- No, he wouldn't,
0:10:49 > 0:10:52because the panel would be very on with health and safety,
0:10:52 > 0:10:56- and they for one would object. - Well, tough - they can get out.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59I was like a son to Pete.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05Well, I suppose we could plant him in the corner there, couldn't we?
0:11:05 > 0:11:08- Or the big chair in the sitting room. - The big chair.- Yeah.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10And then we could take Pete his food,
0:11:10 > 0:11:13- so he wouldn't have to queue up for the buffet.- Val!
0:11:13 > 0:11:18Some young plant-team member would be honoured to get his plate.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Tell their grandchildren.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23"I once got Pete Potts a baked potato."
0:11:28 > 0:11:30I wonder if I'd invite the head.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Would I?
0:11:35 > 0:11:39I think with the deputy headship, now that you're short-listed,
0:11:39 > 0:11:41I would err on the side of caution.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45- I would say no.- Oh, shame.
0:11:45 > 0:11:50- Because she'd really enjoy it, get into it.- No, she can't come.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Yep, I think you're right.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55And we would appear too loose and laid-back
0:11:55 > 0:11:58for a school to be able to deal with.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00I'd like to say invite her, but I can't.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Yeah, she's just going to have to hear about the party the next day
0:12:04 > 0:12:08- and think, "Oh, Val's popular." - That's your ideal.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- These are good.- Oh, which one of those do you like best?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15- Yeah, this one.- Right. - When's your doodle deadline?
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Tuesday, but I'm being very careful about this year's.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20Absolutely.
0:12:20 > 0:12:26And the senior staff meeting tonight, Roger, was focused on art.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- How do you mean?- Well, I think we've seriously underestimated Pauline Green.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- No, we haven't. - Art is her subject.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36This was the last meeting before the interview,
0:12:36 > 0:12:39so she stays in the head's mind.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42No, you know my view - she's lucky to have made the shortlist.
0:12:42 > 0:12:47Well, exactly, that's my point! She is the luckiest woman alive.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49She once told me
0:12:49 > 0:12:53that she got an all-chocolate Kit Kat out of a vending machine.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54I'm not worried.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57- But maybe just...yeah, monitor her. - Yeah.
0:12:59 > 0:13:04Have I ever met her? I mean, where is she on here?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Erm... Pauline Green, there.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Oh, yeah.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16- Oh, and there you are with your... - That's my whisk.- Yeah.
0:13:16 > 0:13:21- Pauline Green's is excellent, look. - Well, of course it is - she's art.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- Oh, there's poor Lilly Brennan. - Oh.- Oh...
0:13:24 > 0:13:26- Yeah, that was...- It was, yeah.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Still, at least she lived long enough
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- to make it onto last year's tea towel, bless her.- Yeah, she did.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Where's Pauline Green on...this one?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- Oh, she's there.- Oh.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- Well, she's up here on this one. - Is she? Oh.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49I thought everybody stayed the same. I have.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51- Have you?- Yeah, look.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Mrs Stevenson, food tech, Mrs Stevenson, food tech,
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Mrs Stevenson, food tech...
0:13:56 > 0:14:01How did Pauline get up there? Because on this one she's down here
0:14:01 > 0:14:04and then, rather unsurprisingly, on the middle one
0:14:04 > 0:14:06she's in the middle.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10So how has she...? Yeah.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- I'm in the same place on all of them! - No, you're not.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Well, yes, you are, but does that really matter, Val?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Well, I'm the same!
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Yeah, you've got the same husband, who likes you the same.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- Mr Stevenson!- Roger, Roger, this is my career, this is my life.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31You're consistent, reliable, with a strikingly similar hairstyle.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Yeah, but look, look, if Pauline's journey continues,
0:14:34 > 0:14:37on the next tea towel, she's going to be the deputy head!
0:14:37 > 0:14:39There's just one problem with that.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Look at Pauline's portrait - it's expertly drawn,
0:14:42 > 0:14:45but ultimately it's undignified.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48The deputy head is a serious job. Look at the head's portrait.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Yeah, two eyes, nose, mouth, it's generic.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55- Pam Bagnall, top of the shortlist... - The bigwig.- ..is serious.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Yes, so...
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Roger, what if I draw glasses on myself?
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Mmm... Brilliant.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08Yeah, yeah, because you can just be too modest.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12- Yeah.- That's it. - So...there's Pauline...
0:15:12 > 0:15:16- Yep.- ..there's Pam and there's you-ou.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20- Yeah.- The unexpected challenger in a pair of glasses.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24I'm not the same, though.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28I have applied for a deputy headship.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Yep. Here's to the win double, babe.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Ah...victory.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Yeah, that's travelled quite well, actually, Val.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42When you rang the bell, I thought it was more surprise guests.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44I didn't ring the bell.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Well, somebody did.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Oh, delicious! Oh, and you're right, we need a holiday.
0:15:50 > 0:15:55Oh, yeah, even a long weekend. We'll fly off tonight.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- Oh, don't, Val. - It's bank holiday on Monday as well.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02Is it? What date is it on Monday?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Er... The first?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Well, we're OK with the mortgage, then?
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Er... Yeah, I think so. I'll check it tomorrow.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Yeah, well, if it's bank holiday, Val,
0:16:11 > 0:16:14they might take it in overnight tonight.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- So are we OK, then? - No, they'll take it on Monday.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20I can't remember which way they do it, but it's unfair.
0:16:20 > 0:16:25Well, whichever way they do it, don't you check it, cos I'm checking it.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- No, I'll do it.- No, don't, because it'll just wind you up.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32- How will it wind me up? - I'm better at looking it in the face.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35I'm fine, I've got my job back.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Yeah, but I want to do it, because I know how I've done things.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40- I'll do it.- Oh!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Look, I've kept this from you,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46because you've been fighting your tribunal,
0:16:46 > 0:16:50but I'm telling you now, we're well into the flexi-loan.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Oh...
0:17:13 > 0:17:14Oh, Jesus.
0:17:32 > 0:17:33Oh...
0:17:59 > 0:18:02I tried to extend our overdraft,
0:18:02 > 0:18:04but they refused because of the drop in income.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08- Oh, Val, it's fine. - No, it's not, Roger.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11We're going to leave that bank the minute we're back in credit,
0:18:11 > 0:18:13because they've been absolutely horrible.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16It's as if they don't want to help us out.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Our capitalist masters kicking us poor bastards when we're down?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22- Roger...- Oh, yeah, hang on, it's called a bank.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Roger, Roger, I'm going to do the sauce now,
0:18:25 > 0:18:28but I'm not going to do the usual swirl.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31I'm going to do a V for victory.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Well, don't do another V here.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Do an R, cos then we'll have V and R.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Val and Roger.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Oh, I don't know if I can an R, Rog. Rs are hard.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Do a lower case R,
0:18:42 > 0:18:45and if you feel when you get to the curve that you're doing well,
0:18:45 > 0:18:47just carry on and make a capital.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52- There.- V.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54V for vindicated.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56V for verdict.
0:18:56 > 0:19:01R for reintegrated return to work. Brilliant.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07So how do they compare with modern-day pans?
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Well, no, 19 years ago, they had Teflon, just the same.
0:19:11 > 0:19:16But I like that. Makes me think it's not that long ago.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17There.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21It honours our son.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Beautifully.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30And I'm absolutely certain this is going to be absolutely delicious...
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Thank you.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Come on.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Mmm.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38HE SLURPS LOUDLY
0:20:47 > 0:20:48HE MUNCHES NOISILY
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Excuse me.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- The wine's an exquisite choice.- Mmm.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Impeccably chilled.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Refresh my glass, actually.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17It was on Saturday Kitchen.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20They went to a wine warehouse in Stevenage.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Recommended it for fish.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Yes, we've always found their recommendations to be excellent.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29I don't know what it is about the dining room, do you?
0:21:29 > 0:21:34It's just the way you're speaking, Roger, sounds...quite formal?
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Well, one hopes that one...
0:21:36 > 0:21:38No, that's ridiculous. Yes, why am I speaking like this?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Cos you're on that bicycle now
0:21:40 > 0:21:43and you're speeding downhill with the pedals spinning.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Odd to be so formal suddenly with one's wife.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47My comment about the wine, for example.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50You'd never have said that if we were in the kitchen.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54- You'd have said, "This is gorgeous, Val. Top us up."- Yes, I was official. There's no doubt.
0:21:54 > 0:21:59- It's cos we're in the dining room. - Yes, and normally when we're in here, it's with other people.
0:21:59 > 0:22:04Yes, so you're not hearing someone's eating raised up and isolated,
0:22:04 > 0:22:08put on a platform in a spotlight.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Right, sorry, is that how you feel I ate?
0:22:10 > 0:22:16No, it's just a normal man shouldn't be amplified to sound like a horse.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19My apologies.
0:22:19 > 0:22:24Roger, it's the acoustics, it's not you.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Oh, look.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28Well done, Rog.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Cheers.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Mmm.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Dining room...there is a role for its formality.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43I mean, it is the traditional place where one reads a will
0:22:43 > 0:22:45or makes an announcement.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Chances are you're sitting at the dining room table.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52- Would you rather go into the kitchen for the main course?- No.- Mmm.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Val...
0:22:56 > 0:22:58I hadn't planned this
0:22:58 > 0:23:01because I didn't know we were going to be in the dining room tonight,
0:23:01 > 0:23:03but there's something I need...
0:23:04 > 0:23:06I have an announcement.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Oh.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10Um...
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Sorry.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26This is really a really delicious meal.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Are you announcing that you like the meal?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31No, no, no.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35- No, I'm not making myself very clear.- What?
0:23:35 > 0:23:40W-Well, there's something that I-I have to say. I-I need to.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Roger, what?
0:23:46 > 0:23:52My-my tribunal is very complex.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56One of its heads...of the multi-headed beast it became...
0:24:00 > 0:24:01..is Jean Duggan.
0:24:04 > 0:24:09I haven't been entirely truthful with you about Jean Duggan.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Jean, your pensioner stalker?
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Yes.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Yup, I thought it was unlikely.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19She's not a stalker.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21No.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25And answer me this, Roger Stevenson, is she a pensioner or not?
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32No, I have not been remiss in any way.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36- She saw me in the paper because of the tribunal.- Sorry?
0:24:36 > 0:24:37PAN HISSES
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Oh, the spaghetti!
0:24:43 > 0:24:44PANS CLATTER
0:24:44 > 0:24:46- Ow! Aargh!- Val?
0:24:46 > 0:24:49Ow! Ow!
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Ooh, Rog, I've burnt myself now,
0:24:52 > 0:24:54because I'm not used to these awful pans.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- OK, here we go.- Oh, God, that hurts!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Put that in there. That's it. Good, OK.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Come and sit at the kitchen table.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Good, OK. Hang on.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Ah, Roger!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Aloe vera.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16The advantage of having a botanist husband.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Thanks. Thanks.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- Can you get my drink for me, Rog? - Yeah.
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Still got my pint.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30What a great idea that was.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Ow!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Oh, thanks.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42What is it, Roger?
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Jean's husband, Vic, has died.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Vic was a painter and decorator
0:25:52 > 0:25:57and he had a bad back, which was the source of my liaison with Jean.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00How well did you know these people?
0:26:02 > 0:26:05I was a student, obviously.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09My parents had given me a Pringle jumper to go away with,
0:26:09 > 0:26:13which I was never going to wear, so I...I gave it to Vic
0:26:13 > 0:26:16because he sometimes met with his clients at a golf club.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20I don't understand. So you know them really well?
0:26:20 > 0:26:23No, I don't.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25I haven't seen her for 31 years.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27She's got spondylitis.
0:26:27 > 0:26:28What's that?
0:26:28 > 0:26:31I didn't ask. It sounded too painful.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38How did you come to meet up with her again?
0:26:40 > 0:26:41She came here.
0:26:41 > 0:26:46- She's been in this house?- No, she has not been in this house, not at all.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48She has been outside of this house, and that is all.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51I don't believe you.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54She has been outside of this house.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Twice.- What do you mean?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Earlier she was at the door, rang the doorbell.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05- No-one's rung on the doorbell. - Yes, they have.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07You were out getting the pint.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10I thought it was more surprise guests, so I left it.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13What are you trying to tell me, Roger?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16That, um...
0:27:18 > 0:27:21..that the other time that she was outside of the house
0:27:21 > 0:27:24was the night we came back from the wedding the other week.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31She was standing at the end of the drive.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34I didn't know who it was,
0:27:34 > 0:27:36so I went out, and, um...
0:27:38 > 0:27:41..she said to me,
0:27:41 > 0:27:44"You won't remember me,"
0:27:44 > 0:27:46but I managed to hack through the years
0:27:46 > 0:27:49and I recognised her features.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55And, er, she-she said to me...
0:27:58 > 0:27:59What?
0:28:04 > 0:28:06She said that she'd left a note
0:28:06 > 0:28:10and she told me what was in the note,
0:28:10 > 0:28:12and I came back in.
0:28:13 > 0:28:17Is this what's been wrong with you?
0:28:19 > 0:28:20Yeah.
0:28:49 > 0:28:53I have a 31-year-old son called Liam...
0:28:54 > 0:28:57..who's alive.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd