0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language
0:00:14 > 0:00:16I'm OK. Thanks, thanks.
0:00:16 > 0:00:17No, I'm OK. Thank you.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:00:23 > 0:00:26- Ronnie? Can you hear me?- Yeah, I can hear you.- Can you hear me now?
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Yeah, I can hear you know. I can hear you then.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- Why aren't you in class? - I'm walking to class right now.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32I just shared a list of study tips on your Facebook page.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Why didn't you like it?
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Mum, you've got to stop posting clickbait on my page.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38What is clickbait?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41- Mum, isn't it like 6.00am in Malaysia right now?- Yalla.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44I'm having a late start today. Have you been studying hard?
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Mum, it's the first day of school,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48there's literally nothing to study hard.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Well, make sure you study hard.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53- Because your father and I spent a lot of money to send you there.- OK.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56- And don't do drugs.- OK. - Do you do drugs?
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Yeah, heroin and crystal meth every day.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Where did you learn about those drugs?
0:01:00 > 0:01:03- Mum, look, I've got to go. I'm going to be late, OK?- OK.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- Just pick up when I call.- OK. - And answer my e-mail.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Don't talk to girls.- OK. - Don't get drunk. Don't tip -
0:01:09 > 0:01:11- they don't need it.- OK. I got it.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13- Only use Chinese hairdresser's. - OK, bye.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15- Boil your water before you drink it. - OK.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17And if you have a cold, don't eat chicken.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Mum, coughing has nothing to do with chicken.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- And don't get anyone pregnant! - And no-one's getting pregnant!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Yes, I know condoms are not 100% effective.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Yes, I know you're supposed to roll it all the way down the shaft.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29I've got to go!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35No, I was...talking to my mum.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Must be the only one here without a laptop.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53What about that guy?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Do those glasses even have lenses in them?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Is he drinking from a jar? - Is anything about this guy real?
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Maybe his hair.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Oh, wait... No.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10- I'm Ronnie.- I'm Asher. - Nice to meet you.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Um, excuse me guys. Let's start.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15My name's Mick, I'm the activities officer.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Basically I just coordinate all the activities.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23So, yeah, welcome to your first day. Are you pumped?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Tonight's the first year pub night
0:02:29 > 0:02:32and it's a great opportunity to meet each other
0:02:32 > 0:02:34and give it some of these ones.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36HE LAUGHS
0:02:36 > 0:02:38So anyway, so we've got the boat race, which is
0:02:38 > 0:02:40the drinking game that we do every year.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44So let me know if you want to sign up and get pumped!
0:02:44 > 0:02:46This guy's pumped!
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Morning, everyone...
0:02:51 > 0:02:53COMPUTER KEYBOARDS CLACK
0:02:55 > 0:02:58SILENCE
0:02:59 > 0:03:03..and welcome to your first day of law school.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06I want you to look to the left.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07Now look to the right.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11I want you to remember those faces that you see,
0:03:11 > 0:03:14because THAT is your competition.
0:03:15 > 0:03:20Now the numbers say that 3 in 20 of you will become lawyers.
0:03:20 > 0:03:221 in 10 will fail.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25And 1 in 200 will die.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Bloated corpse encased in cocaine resin.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33So, why are we here?
0:03:35 > 0:03:39I'm here because this is the most prestigious law school and I
0:03:39 > 0:03:43believe if you want to be the best, you have to learn from the best.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Does anybody else want to answer my rhetorical question?
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Let's all have a go. You - why are you here?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Is this rhetorical?
0:03:56 > 0:03:57You tell me.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00Er, I don't know.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Good answer!
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Because the truth is, nobody really knows anything.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07I'm sorry, I'm going to have to disagree.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11Good, I like disagreement. Go on, tell me.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Um, I just think that turning up to your first day of law school
0:04:14 > 0:04:18not knowing why you're here, that's pretty stupid.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20How do you feel about that? He thinks you're an idiot.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Well, I think it's pretty stupid to come to your first day of
0:04:23 > 0:04:25law school and dress like your captaining a yacht.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- LAUGHTER - This is excellent!
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Conflict is very good.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Which brings us to our first assignment.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34I want you to write 1,000 words on conflict resolution...
0:04:35 > 0:04:39..based on my book, Shut Up And Come Get Some,
0:04:39 > 0:04:42which is not available in book stores.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44But the library does have a copy.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Whoo, yeah! Whoo, yeah!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49GROANING
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Oh!
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Ah! The traditional first lecture streaker.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Have a look at him.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58HE CONTINUES GROANING
0:04:58 > 0:05:03Now what does the law say about a man being found naked,
0:05:03 > 0:05:06and weeping, outside of his own house?
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Can someone help, please?
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Hey. We should get that book.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14- You want to team up?- Sure.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17I say, Ronny!
0:05:17 > 0:05:20I met this guy last night, he's such a hater.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Hey! Um, Elvin, right?
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Yeah, that's me.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Someone's moving pretty fast.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31- Pleased to meet you, too. I'm Asher.- Hello.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Yeah, I'm Elvin. This is, um...
0:05:34 > 0:05:35Wei Jun.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- And this is Denedict.- Denedict?!
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Denedict.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- Like Dennis mixed with Benedict?- Denedict.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48G'day, cobbers. You gonna sign up for the boat race?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50- I'm not here to get drunk in a bar, thank you.- Oh, man.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53I thought you'd give a real international flavour, you know?
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Bunch of different cultures getting together,
0:05:56 > 0:05:57to give it some of these ones!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00I won't be giving it some of those ones.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02I want to get that book. Are you coming?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Ah, hey, I'll join you guys later.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Yeah, OK. We'll leave you and Cate Blanchett to give them
0:06:07 > 0:06:08some of these ones, huh?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11OK, let's go.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14What about you, cobber?
0:06:14 > 0:06:17You like to wrap the old laughing gear around a couple of frothies?
0:06:17 > 0:06:18What?!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- He means, do you drink beer? - Oh! No.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23I don't have the liver enzyme to process alcohol.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26I become like a red, sweaty mess. It's a problem.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Look who it is, Mr I Don't Know.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29Signing up for the boat race?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31No, wait, let me guess - you don't know.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Actually, I do know.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- I will NOT be signing up for the boat race.- Good.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Because we would wipe the floor with you.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41His family have won the drinking contest for three generations.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- So you come from a family of alcoholics?- What's your team name?
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Above The Legal Limit.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Was Captain Nemo And The HMS Douche Bags already taken?
0:06:50 > 0:06:51Well, HMS refers to a Navy ship,
0:06:51 > 0:06:55while my family's yacht is a private vessel, so the joke's on you.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Wait, man. Even if you don't want to have a crack, just come down
0:06:57 > 0:07:01and have a stickybeak while we sink beers. It'll be sick fun, bro.
0:07:01 > 0:07:02What?!
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- He means you're welcome to come watch the boat race.- Oh, OK.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- Thanks.- No wukkas, bro. - Appreciate it. What?!
0:07:08 > 0:07:10- Means you're welcome.- OK. Cool.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16- This place is amazing.- What, you've never been to a library before?
0:07:16 > 0:07:17My town had a library.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Well, it was more of a shelf of books at the back of the pub.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22And if the book was overdue you had to do a shot.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- That sounds like fun...? - Yeah, I was a big reader.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28So, where is the law section?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Ah, let's see, law, that's 340.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- So we have to go to 300s. - How do you know that?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35When I was a kid, my mum made me
0:07:35 > 0:07:39- memorise the entire Dewey Decimal system.- Whoa, nerd alert. OK.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42What's the number for Russian history?
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Russian history, that's general history of Asia, Siberia,
0:07:45 > 0:07:46so that's 957.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50We had very different childhoods.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52- Childhoods. 372.- All right.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57What? Hmm.
0:08:01 > 0:08:02What was that?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Are you sure this is the law section?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Yeah, the sign said 300 was in the basement. This is B-1.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15- This is B-2. - HE GASPS
0:08:15 > 0:08:16You've come too far.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20- Who are you?- I'm a postgrad student.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23How long have you been here?
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Can't remember.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29Just been down here, writing my thesis.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30What's your thesis on?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32SHE SCOFFS
0:08:32 > 0:08:36Started out as the rule of law in pre-Federation Australian colonies.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40And then, turned into the morality of natural law versus positive
0:08:40 > 0:08:42law in post-modern society.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45And then somewhere along the line, it changed into Japanese falconry,
0:08:45 > 0:08:47and now, I'm not sure what it is.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49- OK, thanks. We've got to... - I used to be an undergrad!
0:08:49 > 0:08:55I remember having ambition, social events, sunlight.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56OK. I'm really sorry,
0:08:56 > 0:08:58- we have to go do an assignment. - Let me guess.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01You're stressing about 1,000 words?
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Well, you try being 90,000 words into a 200,000 word thesis
0:09:04 > 0:09:06and you can't even remember what your contention is.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Ow! All right, I'm sorry, we've got to go.- Thank you for all your help.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Maybe we'll see you down here again.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12- We're never coming back here.- Oh.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19Should be just here.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21300...
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Uh-huh-ho!
0:09:24 > 0:09:25Ronny and his girlfriend
0:09:25 > 0:09:29Nicole Kidman are going for a romantic stroll in the law section.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31What? No. We're just here to get the book.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Good luck. Because we're here to get the book, too.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Why don't we just get it, photocopy it
0:09:36 > 0:09:37- and then we'll all have the book? - Yeah.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40Should be right...
0:09:40 > 0:09:41..here.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45I've got an idea.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48How about none of you get the book and all of you fail?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50What are you talking about?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52This is the only copy of that book
0:09:52 > 0:09:56and I'm keeping it until after the assignment is due.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57Why would you do that?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Because I don't like you coming in here and making me look like shit.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Then why are you dressed like you're in a barbershop quartet?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05It's called dressing for success. You should try it.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08You look like Ben Sherman fucked The Wiggles.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10No, see, it's you who's fucked
0:10:10 > 0:10:13because if you don't have the book, you can't finish the assignment.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14SHE SCREAMS
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Just give us the damn book!
0:10:18 > 0:10:21OK, guess we won't be using the photocopier any more.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23What's going on here? This is the library.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26If you want to shank each other, take it outside.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28I was just trying to borrow a book
0:10:28 > 0:10:30and these people started harassing me.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look...
0:10:31 > 0:10:34We all need this book to do an assignment.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36And this guy is holding it like an asshole,
0:10:36 > 0:10:38so none of us can do any work.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39So, clearly the system is broken.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45How dare you question the system!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48What do you know about the library system?
0:10:48 > 0:10:52Well, I know Melville Dewey invented the Dewey Decimal system in 1876.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53- Yeah?- Yeah.- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54Fuck Melville Dewey!
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Fuck him right in his face. You know why?
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Cos I'm the system. Now get out!
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Nice work, Ronny. You've dragged us into your your weak fight
0:11:03 > 0:11:04and got us kicked out of the library.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06What are you talking about?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08She's the one who went Kung Fu Hustle on the photocopier.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11So what are we going to do now? You're not taking us down with you.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Look, Professor Dale wrote the book. I'll just ask him for a copy.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16I don't care what you and Toni Collette have to do,
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- just get that book. - Why do you keep calling me
0:11:18 > 0:11:19the names of Australian actresses?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22I'll call you whatever I want, Rebel Wilson.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Wait, aren't you from Vietnam?
0:11:23 > 0:11:26How do you know so many Australian actresses, anyway?
0:11:26 > 0:11:28I've been a huge fan since I saw Muriel's Wedding.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- That is such each a great film! - Yeah, I know.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33I still think it's Rachel Griffith's best role.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34"Oh, you're so terrible, Muriel!"
0:11:34 > 0:11:37- Is that the one where she's in a wheelchair?- OK, hey, hey.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- I'm going to find Professor Dale.- She's so young.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41Oh, that wedding scene is so beautiful.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46KNOCK ON DOOR.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- Come in.- Hi, sir.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53I'm Ronny, from your first year class.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54Mm-hm. Sit down.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Er, I was wondering if you had a copy of the textbook?
0:12:00 > 0:12:02I have, Ronny.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04I've got loads of copies of my textbook
0:12:04 > 0:12:09- because the academic board refused to put it on the syllabus.- OK.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Do you mind if I just borrow a copy for the assignment?
0:12:12 > 0:12:13Absolutely not.
0:12:14 > 0:12:19- Why not?- Because I want you, Ronny, to find a copy for yourself.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24OK, I've found a copy. I've found like 20 copies right here.
0:12:24 > 0:12:29And you think I should just give you a copy because you've asked nicely?
0:12:29 > 0:12:31- Yeah, that sounds pretty reasonable. - Give me your hand.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36The law...
0:12:38 > 0:12:40..is about conflict.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41Is that a tattoo?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Have a look at this fellow here.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47This fellow's got the best left kick in all of the MMA.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52- So what does his opponent do? - I don't know.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Avoid his left kick?
0:12:54 > 0:12:59- No. He breaks his left leg with his own left kick.- Oh, my God!
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- Oh!- He takes his opponent's greatest weapon
0:13:01 > 0:13:03and he shoves it up his ass!
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Do you understand?
0:13:06 > 0:13:11- No!- I want you to find your opponent's greatest weapon
0:13:11 > 0:13:13and turn it against him to defeat him.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22BELL RINGS ON TV
0:13:26 > 0:13:28- Oh, hey.- Did you get the book?
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- No.- What happened?- I don't know.
0:13:32 > 0:13:33G'day, cobber.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Are you guys still interested in joining the boat race?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Why you so obsessed with signing people up to this drinking game?
0:13:38 > 0:13:40To be honest, we've only signed up one team.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43If we don't get another, we're going to have to pull up stumps.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- He means...- Yeah, I got it.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47I thought you could help make it a real multicultural event.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Show people that smashing beers is something everyone can enjoy.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Look, I'd love to help you meet your diversity quota,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55but a drinking game is the last thing we need right now.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- The other team's going to be so cut.- What, the other team?
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Yeah, Above The Legal Limit. Really nice boys.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- With the family history... - Actually, you know what?
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- We will sign up for the drinking game.- Really?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09I've got to tell the other team.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10No. Let me tell them, please.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13I'm pumped, cobber! You fully pumped?
0:14:13 > 0:14:15I'm moderately pumped.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:14:26 > 0:14:28What is this place?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31I think it's the central hive for stuck-up larva
0:14:31 > 0:14:33before they mature into full-blown assholes.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35What a bunch of wankers.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Is this free?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45You call that a parry and riposte?
0:14:45 > 0:14:47I thought your one-two was going to end in the cha-cha-cha.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55I think you're lost. The Canning Club is down the hall.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56No, I'm pretty sure I'm in the right place.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- This is the Piece Of Shit Club, right?- What do you want, Chieng?
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Look, I've come to offer you a deal.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03OK, you know that drinking game you keep talking on and on about?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05- Yeah, the one we're going to win. - Yeah, here's the thing.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07You can't win if there's no-one to play against
0:15:07 > 0:15:10cos they're going to cancel the game, OK? So here's what I propose.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12I'll enter a team to play against you,
0:15:12 > 0:15:13and if we win, you give us the textbook.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15You have a drinking team?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17- Yes.- You are aware we're not drinking green tea, right?
0:15:17 > 0:15:18EXAGERRATED LAUGHS
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Hey, how do you look like
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Prince Harry and Prince William at the same time?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Very amusing, Chieng. So, if we win, what do I get?
0:15:27 > 0:15:31I don't know, what do you want? Some mouth surgery. Your mouth is huge.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Make him run naked.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34That's a grand idea.
0:15:34 > 0:15:41OK, you and your...internationals enter the drinking game and when you
0:15:41 > 0:15:44lose, you have to run naked through Professor Dale's next lecture.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Or don't you have the balls?
0:15:49 > 0:15:51OK. Deal.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55I'll see you later tonight.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06OK, listen up. This is called a boat race.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09You drink a beer, put the empty glass on your head
0:16:09 > 0:16:11and then the next person does the same.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- The first team to finish all four pints, wins. Got it?- Got it.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18What if you start drinking before the other person?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20- You'd be disqualified. - What if you don't finish
0:16:20 > 0:16:21the beer before you put it on your head?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23- Disqualified.- What if...?- Holy shit.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26You finish your beer and then the next person finishes their beer.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- All right, it's really not that complicated.- Wei Jun.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31On your marks, get set, drink!
0:16:33 > 0:16:34- Yeah.- Good, good.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Sorry. My fault.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I should have said,
0:16:38 > 0:16:40take a deep breath before you drink and then once you start,
0:16:40 > 0:16:43whatever you do, don't take a second breath.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44This is bullshit!
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Holly Valance doesn't know what she's talking about.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48Tell me why again we do this?
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Believe it or not, this is actually the easiest way to get the textbook.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53And also, if we don't win the drinking competition,
0:16:53 > 0:16:56we're going to have run naked in the next lecture.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00- So you turned us into strippers?- No.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02We're not going to strip, because we're going to win.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06- Wei Jun, you OK? - Oh! Oh, it's fine.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09- It's what happen when we're drinking beer.- Like I said,
0:17:09 > 0:17:10we don't have the liver enzyme.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Guys! The key to excessive drinking is simple.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15You just need to focus on something you fear
0:17:15 > 0:17:18and then drink to make it disappear.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Right, let's try it. Denedict?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Close your eyes and find your fear.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31You're wearing shoes!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Inside!
0:17:38 > 0:17:39- Is that supposed to happen?- Yes.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Yes, Denedict. Very nice.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Right, Elvin, your go.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Congratulations, Elvin.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Nice work. All right, Wei Jun, you're up.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13We ran out of rice. So I got you some couscous.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17SHE SCREAMS
0:18:19 > 0:18:21I DON'T WANT COUSCOUS!
0:18:22 > 0:18:24No-one is going to give you couscous.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- OK. OK.- You're going to be OK.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32You guys are all going to be OK.
0:18:32 > 0:18:37Let's try again. Ready...set...drink!
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Right on!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Let's do this one more time.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Enough! The drinking competition's like one hour away
0:18:46 > 0:18:48and these guys are getting shit-faced.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53OK. Maybe let's leave it there.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55You guys have one hour to sober up.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Personally, I recommend a kebab, followed by a long vomit.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19G'day, cobber. You still up for giving it a few of these ones?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Up for it? We're here to win it.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Ha-ha-ha! What's your team name?
0:19:24 > 0:19:26I don't know, guys. What's our team name?
0:19:26 > 0:19:27I don't give a fuck.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31I'll put that down for now. But you might want to workshop it.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40How are you feeling?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42- Not very pumped. - What's wrong?- What's wrong?
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Yesterday I got off a plane really looking forward to
0:19:45 > 0:19:47studying in a new country.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Now today to do an assignment I have to drink beer faster than
0:19:49 > 0:19:52a bunch of idiots. If I don't, I'm going to end up failing,
0:19:52 > 0:19:53I'm going to end up running naked in public
0:19:53 > 0:19:55and I'm going to have to study Japanese falconry.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58That is a rough first day. Sounds like you need a beer.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01No! I don't even like the taste of beer.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I remember when my dad gave me my first beer.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06I hated the taste so I just drank it really quick.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07My dad said he'd never seen
0:20:07 > 0:20:09a ten-year-old skull a long neck that fast.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Yeah, we had very different childhoods.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15You'll be fine. You just need to focus on your fear.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19Yeah, I tried. I just... I can't think of anything scary enough.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- SPEAKER FEEDBACK - All right, guys, it's time to get
0:20:21 > 0:20:23fully pumped for the boat race!
0:20:23 > 0:20:26CHEERING
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Now, let's give a huge welcome to Above The Legal Limit...
0:20:31 > 0:20:34CHEERING
0:20:34 > 0:20:36THUMPING BASS MUSIC
0:20:39 > 0:20:44..and their opponents, our very first international team,
0:20:44 > 0:20:46I Don't Give A Fuck!
0:20:46 > 0:20:48CHEERING
0:20:48 > 0:20:50We should have workshopped that name.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53INTENSE ROCK MUSIC
0:21:07 > 0:21:11I can't wait to see the shape of your balls.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13- You have got some issues, man.- OK.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16- On your marks... - DRUM ROLL
0:21:16 > 0:21:18..get set...
0:21:18 > 0:21:21..D-RIIIINK!
0:21:21 > 0:21:22CHEERING
0:21:22 > 0:21:24SHE SCREAMS
0:21:31 > 0:21:33HE YELLS
0:21:45 > 0:21:48HE YELLS
0:21:51 > 0:21:53CROWD GROANS
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Don't take a second breath!
0:22:11 > 0:22:14- IN SLOW MOTION: - Cheers, Chieng.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16- ASHER:- Focus on your fear.
0:22:17 > 0:22:22- MRS CHIENG:- Ronny, don't forget to run all it the way down the shaft...
0:22:22 > 0:22:23..shaft...shaft...shaft.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Arrrrgh!
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Oh, my God!
0:22:41 > 0:22:43CHEERING
0:22:51 > 0:22:55ALL: Asians! Asians! Asians! Asians!
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Hang on, hang on...
0:22:59 > 0:23:03OK, as the winners, your team captain has earned the right
0:23:03 > 0:23:07to attempt the Legionnaire!
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- Wait, what?- Thank you, Aaron.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13The Legionnaire has been attempted by some of the greatest drinkers
0:23:13 > 0:23:16in the history of this university...
0:23:16 > 0:23:18..with only one fatality.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20- CROWD:- Ooh...- What is this?
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Team captain, please approach.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27- ALL:- Asians! Asians! Asians! Asians! Asians!
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Asians! Asians! Asians! Asians!
0:23:30 > 0:23:35Asians! Asians! Asians! Asians! Asians!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37No, I don't want to drink it.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39- CHANTING SUBSIDES - He hates beer!
0:23:39 > 0:23:41BOOING
0:23:41 > 0:23:44No. I don't hate beer.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Well, OK...actually I do hate beer.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Come on, it tastes terrible.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51It tastes like someone drank piss and vomited it out
0:23:51 > 0:23:53and someone else ate that vomit and pissed it out again.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57Like, seriously, does anyone here actually like the taste of beer?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01That was a rhetorical question.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05We won the boat race - what more do you people want?
0:24:05 > 0:24:07But are you going to drink it?!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Yeah!
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- ALL:- Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Noooo!
0:24:24 > 0:24:27DRUM ROLL
0:24:36 > 0:24:39CHEERING
0:24:43 > 0:24:45CROWD GROANS
0:24:47 > 0:24:51- Oh, go, you good thing!- Thank you.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00- Hey, are you OK? You didn't have to drink that.- Yeah, I did.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02If you drank that beer, the only thing pumped right now
0:25:02 > 0:25:04would be your stomach.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Hey, when you were screaming, what fear were you thinking about?
0:25:12 > 0:25:13I imagined failing and having to
0:25:13 > 0:25:15go back to my home town.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19I actually know what you mean.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22I'm a man of my word.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28- Is that work "dick"? - Don't get ahead of yourself, Chieng.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30I've been looking forward to university for a long time,
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- and I'm not going to let you ruin this...- Just give me the book!
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Oh! Eurgh! What's that smell?
0:25:37 > 0:25:40I rubbed it on my arse.
0:25:40 > 0:25:44- That's fucking disgusting, man. - You were awesome.- That's so good.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46I can't believe that worked. Hey, Ronny.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50There is a video of us winning the boat race all over Facebook.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53- Oh, great.- There's also a video of you, Asher.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55It's called "Hot chick drinks giant beer -
0:25:55 > 0:25:58"you won't believe what happens next".
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- CHEERING ON VIDEO - Oh, that's so embarrassing.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03I'm so sorry a video of you drinking got put online.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Oh, no, I don't care about the drinking.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08If my family finds out I spewed, I'll be disowned.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Mick's taking us on a pub crawl. You want to come?
0:26:11 > 0:26:15- No, I think I've drunk enough for today.- Yeah, me too.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17- Later, bros.- Easy, guys.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21SHE CHUCKLES
0:26:21 > 0:26:24INDISTINCT CHATTER
0:26:24 > 0:26:28- Hey, Ronny, you got the book?- Yeah, I did, but it's a little gross.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Oh, this make everything worthwhile.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33HE KISSES
0:26:33 > 0:26:35HE SNIFFS
0:26:35 > 0:26:40- What that smell? - Uh...the smell of success?
0:26:40 > 0:26:42HE SNIFFS
0:26:42 > 0:26:47Yeah, that's it. OK! I'll give it back to you in the morning.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50- Yeah, maybe just photocopy it. - Yeah, OK.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58You sure you don't want to go hang out with your friends?
0:26:58 > 0:27:01I think I am hanging out with my friend.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05PHONE RINGS
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Oh, boy.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- MRS CHIENG:- Ronny? Ronny? Why haven't you called?
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Oh, sorry, I've been busy.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16- Yalla, busy doing what? - Uh...studying hard.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18- Have you been drinking?- No.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Don't lie to me, huh? I saw you drinking on your Facebook page.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23No, I was actually drinking to do an assignment.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25- So now you're an alcoholic?- No.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28- Who's this girl?- She's a friend.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31- Is she pregnant?- No, she's not. - Why is she throwing up everywhere?
0:27:31 > 0:27:34You lie some more, I'll send you back home, I tell you.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35- Why are you always yelling? - I am not yelling.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Yeah, this is exactly why Dad left, all right?
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Your mother talking to you...