0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains strong language
0:00:28 > 0:00:29You got it. You got it. Come on!
0:00:29 > 0:00:31WHISTLE BLOWS
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Oi! Two days till we play the medical students,
0:00:34 > 0:00:38and I am not going to lose to those arrogant, self-righteous,
0:00:38 > 0:00:42stethoscope-wearing soft cocks for a third year running.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46So this is Australian rules football, huh?
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- I guess.- Good God!
0:00:48 > 0:00:51If I see one more sloppy mark,
0:00:51 > 0:00:55missed kick or poor handball, I'll throw up.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Why is Dale coaching?
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Cos it makes him happy.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02- Hey!- Hi, guys.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- Is Dale OK?- Yeah, he's great.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07He normally pukes way more than this.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09It still leaves a b...better taste in my mouth
0:01:09 > 0:01:11than this rubbish play.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- Oh!- Oh, my God, that guy just jumped off that other guy's face.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Is that legal?
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Yeah, that's a specky. It's one of the best parts of the game.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22So you can just knee somebody in the face?
0:01:22 > 0:01:23You can do anything if you mark the ball.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26- What's a mark?- Honestly, what is anything that's going on?
0:01:26 > 0:01:28It's simple.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30There's the ball up.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33The ruckman taps it to the rover, who drills it forward.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38And when it spills from the pack, the pockets gather the prompts
0:01:38 > 0:01:40and snap it through the goals.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45OK, so kick the ball through the goalpost. Got it.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Between the big sticks is six points,
0:01:47 > 0:01:48between the small ones is one.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50So you get rewarded for missing?
0:01:52 > 0:01:55THEY SHOUT
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Oh!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Free kick! He wasn't even holding the ball.
0:01:58 > 0:01:59I'm the man. Free kick, Jacko.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01What, that's a foul? How is that different
0:02:01 > 0:02:03to any of the other felony assaults we've been witnessing?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05You can't tackle someone if they're not holding the ball.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08But if they're holding the ball with their hands...?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09You can kill them.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10WHISTLE BLOWS Right, bring it in.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Oops, got to go.
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Doing great.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15You lot have got to pick your socks up.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Apart from Asher, that was absolutely pathetic work today,
0:02:18 > 0:02:20now give me five laps. THEY GROAN
0:02:20 > 0:02:22When Jacko wakes up, he can give me ten.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23I'm being soft!
0:02:33 > 0:02:34OK, so this has been fun.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37But I got to go do my stupid group assignment group.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39- Oh, man, I hate group work so much. - I know.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Like, if I did this individually, I'd be done by now.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44It's taken us days just to figure out a time to meet up.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46And there's always some asshole that tries to lead the group.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- Tells everybody what to do. - I know, right? I hate that guy!
0:02:49 > 0:02:50OK. Hey. Hey.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Everybody, listen up.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53This thing is due in a week,
0:02:53 > 0:02:56so can we please decide on a time to meet up tomorrow?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58I'm completely fine with any time.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59OK. 4.00pm tomorrow.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- I can't do that.- Well, why don't you suggest a time, then, Tom?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Any other time is perfectly fine, I promise.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06OK. 5pm.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- No, sorry.- Tom, I swear to God...
0:03:08 > 0:03:09As a single parent,
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I can only do 4.00am to 6.00am after the first feed,
0:03:12 > 0:03:15or 11.00pm to 1.00am after the last feed.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19How the fuck are we supposed to get anything done if it takes us
0:03:19 > 0:03:22three hours just trying to decide a time to meet up?!
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Can we avoid that sort of language in front of Bubs?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26I don't want him picking that stuff up.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28It's a baby. It doesn't know anything.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Babies are more aware than most people think.
0:03:30 > 0:03:31In fact, Bubs is very advanced.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Oh, yeah? Then why doesn't your baby pick a time to meet up, then?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36OK, while you guys have been chit-chatting,
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I e-mailed round a basic structure and introduction.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40PHONES BEEP
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Is it the file called, "Fuck this group assignment"?
0:03:43 > 0:03:44Yeah, that's the one.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47- It's actually pretty good. - Yeah, I know.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50And I'm not going to let you fucking people pull my grades down,
0:03:50 > 0:03:52even if I have to drag your dumb ass across the finishing line.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Hey, watch the language in front of Bubs!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57BUBS GURGLES
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Oh, good boy!
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Yo, fuck your baby, man.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Man, this group assignment is killing me.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Let's just divide it between us and get it done.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Are you guys complaining about the group assignment?
0:04:12 > 0:04:14- My group sucks, too. - Yeah, tell me about it.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16What, you play chatek?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18What? This? This is a jianzi.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22Oh, no, that's da cau. It's, like, the national sport in Vietnam.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Oh, I didn't know people outside Malaysia played that.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26People outside Malaysia?
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Who do you think invented it?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30China! Do you guys play?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32I don't know, you tell me.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Check out the Asian feathery bullshit.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54How many chickens did you roger to get this, Chieng?
0:04:55 > 0:04:57You want to play a real sport?
0:04:59 > 0:05:00Keep it. I'm rich.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Jesus, I feel like Archimedes!
0:05:12 > 0:05:14It's like I'm looking at the future.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Why are none of you people on my footie team?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Maybe because we don't know anything about footie?
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Speaking as the coach, I can tell you,
0:05:19 > 0:05:21no-one in the team knows how to play footie.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25With all due respect, sir, even if we wanted to play the game,
0:05:25 > 0:05:27we're too busy right now with your group assignment.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31The group assignment is just meant to teach you how to work in a team
0:05:31 > 0:05:34and you can do that playing football for me.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36So, what you saying?
0:05:36 > 0:05:41I'm saying, if you help me beat the medical students at football,
0:05:41 > 0:05:44I'll give you an A for that group assignment.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46What, you can do that?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49As a licensed professor, I can do whatever the hell I want,
0:05:49 > 0:05:52except, apparently, beat the medical faculty at football.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55So, what do you say? You in?
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Well, I mean. I don't know...
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Hey, guys,
0:06:00 > 0:06:03we've sent you three e-mails about possible meeting times.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Can you hurry up and get back to me?
0:06:05 > 0:06:08And again, watch the language in front of Bubba-dub-dub.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10RONNY AND ELVIN: OK. We're in.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11- I prefer that.- Me too.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13You fucking beauty!
0:06:21 > 0:06:22HE BLOWS WHISTLE
0:06:23 > 0:06:27All right! Jacko's out with a severe case of softness.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29His ribs were sticking out of his stomach.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33Yeah, soft. So we've got to rebuild the whole forward line.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39So, we're rebuilding it out of tissue paper.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Shut up, Daniel. We're only here because you suck at this.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Do you even know anything about football?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Yeah, that you suck at it.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48OK. So how exactly are these blow-ins supposed to help us win?
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Like this.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12You can't tackle a player who's not holding the ball.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17This is going to revolutionise the game.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Yeah, whatever. Can we go now?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Yeah, I'm starting to perspire.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Oh, hey, did you tell the group that we're out?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Yeah, I just sent an e-mail saying, "Fuck you. We quit."
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Yeah, but do you think you were clear enough?
0:07:31 > 0:07:34I'm just glad I don't have to work with any of those idiots again.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38- Oh, fuck.- Guys, I got your e-mail. You're quitting the group?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Yeah, so Dale gave us a special assignment to do,
0:07:41 > 0:07:44so we're out. Sorry.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47I know we haven't been the easiest group to work with and, yes,
0:07:47 > 0:07:49you guys have done most of the heavy lifting.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50All the heavy lifting.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52The truth is, you're much better at this than us.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56And even if you're not in the group, we could still really use your help.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Oof. I don't know, man.- I do. No.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Please? Just come for 20 minutes and point us in the right direction.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05And if you're not going to do it for us,
0:08:05 > 0:08:07at least do it for this little guy?
0:08:07 > 0:08:11Damn it. Do you use your baby as leverage for everything?
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Just please don't let him see his dad as a failure.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16All right, fine. We'll help. But just 20 minutes.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- What? I'm not going.- Man, for once in your life can you just pretend
0:08:19 > 0:08:21to care about something other than yourself?
0:08:21 > 0:08:23And what do I get out of that?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Look this baby in the eye and tell me you don't feel anything.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30I feel nothing.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Please? Please? Please, Elvin? Please? Pwetty please?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36OK, man, just stop talking like that.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Your whole baby situation make me want to chop my dick off.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Please don't chop your dick off, Mr Angry Asian Man.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44What I just say?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Yeah, OK. 20 minutes and then we're out.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55DOOR CLOSES LOCK BEEPS
0:08:55 > 0:08:56Why are you locking the door?
0:08:56 > 0:08:58We're just making sure we all stay team players
0:08:58 > 0:09:00until our group assignment's finished.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04Are you...
0:09:04 > 0:09:05..kidnapping us right now?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Well, actually, it's more like false imprisonment,
0:09:07 > 0:09:09since there's a willful detention...
0:09:09 > 0:09:12You don't just turn your back on a group assignment group
0:09:12 > 0:09:14that's been put together at random. This is a sacred bond.
0:09:14 > 0:09:15No. No. You don't understand.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18We have a very important football game to get to tomorrow morning.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Yeah, Professor Dale let us out of this goddamn group assignment so we
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- could play the game. - Oh, I see, so if I keep you here
0:09:23 > 0:09:26then you miss the game and you have to join our group again.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28OK, look, at least let me tell the team that I might be
0:09:28 > 0:09:32a bit late for the game. What are you doing with my phone? Yo!
0:09:32 > 0:09:35That was a new generic brand phone!
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Mobile phone radiation can be very harmful to an infant.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Hey, you don't have to smash mine. Just give it back to me at the...
0:09:44 > 0:09:47OK, let's just go.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51I can't. This fucking dick is using his baby as a human shield.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52What did I say about language?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54- As a single parent... - You are a terrible person.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57I hope you die and your baby gets a new stepfather.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- Yeah, your baby smells like shit. - Smells like shit.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03If I die, I die teaching my kid an important life lesson.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- What?- Don't be afraid of getting your hands dirty.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09And thanks for reminding me.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13What have you got for me now, little fella? Huh?
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Oh!- All right! All right! We'll do it! We'll do it!
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Can you please change your baby outside?
0:10:18 > 0:10:20There's very poor ventilation in here.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38- Where's Ronny and Elvin? - I haven't seen them all morning.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Jesus.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Declan. Declan.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Excuse me. Declan.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49- Oh...- I was just wondering,
0:10:49 > 0:10:52do you deliberately choose the lamest law students every year,
0:10:52 > 0:10:54or is it just that they're always pathetic?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56It's good to see you too, Joanie.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- It's Joanne.- Oh.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02I really hope you've got some good doctors for your nerds...
0:11:02 > 0:11:03..after we destroy them.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Oh, right, that's us.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Always wondered, Jolene,
0:11:07 > 0:11:09do you eat the hearts that you get out of them cadavers,
0:11:09 > 0:11:12or do you only harvest meat from the living?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14I'm going to take this game,
0:11:14 > 0:11:17like I took your pathetic indifference...
0:11:17 > 0:11:20..and the house and the car and the dog.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23I'd give you the house and that car's a piece of shit anyway.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25And the dog?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Then I'm going to go for full custody of your balls.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33With no visitation rights.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34Ooh!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Their team coach is your ex-wife?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Some free advice - never marry your idol.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45OK.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Promise me, girl!
0:11:47 > 0:11:51- OK, I promise. - You were always a loser, Declan.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Suck it!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57You're a loser.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02SNORING
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I don't think that's the correct use of the word vexed.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Well, Stephanie, if you had all the answers, we wouldn't be here.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Excuse me for trying to help!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22If you really want to help, get us some food.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- There's a vending machine on the second level.- Go!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27I don't know if I can leave.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28Go now or I milk the laptop.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- OK. OK. OK.- It has the only copy of the assignment.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34OK. But I'm taking the swipe card,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37so don't even think about trying to escape.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44OK. She's gone. Let's kill the baby.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- There's got to be another way out of here?- There is.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Have you been here this whole time?
0:12:50 > 0:12:51I was here long before you got here.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- Why didn't you help us sooner? - I didn't know you needed help.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Group work always feels like a hostage situation.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59I remember my first assignment.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01It was 1998. OK Computer had only come out six months before...
0:13:01 > 0:13:04I'm sorry to interrupt you but we have a very important footie game,
0:13:04 > 0:13:07so if you can just help us get out of the room, that'd be great.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09You think it's tough now?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12You try organising a meeting before mobile phones and the internet.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14If we wanted to contact each other,
0:13:14 > 0:13:16we had to write a paper note
0:13:16 > 0:13:18and leave it in our personal pigeon holes.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22What's a pigeon hole?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25OK, that's cool but do you know how to get out of this room?
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Great.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Where did you get so many swipe cards?
0:13:31 > 0:13:34I'm a post-grad student and a bit of a klepto.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Yes! Thank you.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Hey, do you want to come and watch our football game?
0:13:46 > 0:13:47There's lots of fresh air and sunlight.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50It's OK. I'll just stay here and sink into the shadows.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Um...you know we can still see you.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06- Elvin, let's go.- I'm not letting these idiots take my work.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09- After them!- Shit!
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Where the hell are Ronny and Elvin?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18I've been trying to call them all morning and I can't even get a ring.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20All right.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Daniel, you go up forward and help Wei-Jun.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25When Ronny and Elvin get here, I'll send them up to take over,
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- after I kill them.- Sir, thank you so much. I've really wanted to...
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Shut up, Daniel! All right. Everybody, listen up.
0:14:32 > 0:14:37We have lost this game every year for the past three years
0:14:37 > 0:14:41and I think we'd all agree, if we were honest,
0:14:41 > 0:14:46our form in training leading up to today has been poor at best.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49We've lost two of our starting forwards.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Ex-wife has taken everything.
0:14:52 > 0:14:57Our academic legal textbook magnum opus that we published
0:14:57 > 0:14:59wasn't received very well.
0:15:01 > 0:15:08Now we're stuck teaching ungrateful know-it-all undergraduates.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Essentially just...
0:15:13 > 0:15:14..waiting around to die.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Go out there and give me everything you've got.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38Yes, good afternoon, sports fans, and welcome to the uni oval.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39I'm Mick Rosenberg
0:15:39 > 0:15:42and this is the annual undergrad game
0:15:42 > 0:15:46between the law faculty and the medical faculty.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Joining me in the commentary box is my American friend Craig Cooper.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51- Welcome, Craig. - Thanks for having me, Mick.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Are you ready for some Australian rules football?
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Oh, yes. Yes, we are.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Now, what do you think of the big news coming out of the law faculty
0:15:58 > 0:16:01that Ronny and Elvin will not be in the team?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Well, I think it's going to come down to who wants it more.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06If they can score more than they let in, they have a chance to win.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Yep, that'll do.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11KLAXON BLARES
0:16:11 > 0:16:12And they're off!
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- Good work.- Move it down, move it down!- Follow it up!
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Whoa!
0:16:20 > 0:16:23I have never seen that before!
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Is this not normal play?
0:16:25 > 0:16:28By keeping the ball in the air with their feet,
0:16:28 > 0:16:29they can't legally be tackled.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Wei-Jun kicks to Daniel now.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Daniel fumbles!
0:16:35 > 0:16:37The medical team recover and run away with it.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39What in God's name was that?
0:16:39 > 0:16:40And it's a goal.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Oh, oh, yes!
0:16:43 > 0:16:45I don't know what the law team are doing but, whatever it is,
0:16:45 > 0:16:47it is not working.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51You useless bastard!
0:16:54 > 0:16:55Ball up.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58To Asher now.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Law try the same play again
0:17:01 > 0:17:04but Wei-Jun seems to have no-one to kick to.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05Are you unemployed?
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Do some bloody work!
0:17:07 > 0:17:11Come on. Oh! Oh, yes!
0:17:11 > 0:17:12Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
0:17:12 > 0:17:16And it's another goal from the medical faculty, and they are
0:17:16 > 0:17:18really starting to run away with this game, Craig Cooper.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Yeah, it's a goddamn shit storm out there, Mick.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22I don't know what they're doing.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26If anyone knows where Ronny and Elvin are, get them!
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Fuck.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32BABY: Fuck.
0:18:32 > 0:18:33No.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Come on. Go, go, go. Let's go.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45At half-time here at the uni oval,
0:18:45 > 0:18:48it is the law faculty ten goals down
0:18:48 > 0:18:51and, oh, they are getting absolutely slaughtered out there.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54You said it, Mick. There's one, two, three, four goalposts
0:18:54 > 0:18:57to kick the ball through and the law team still can't get it done.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01That's right, Craig Cooper, and if they don't make some major changes,
0:19:01 > 0:19:04I really don't see them turning things around here.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06HE RETCHES AND COUGHS
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Jesus!
0:19:09 > 0:19:12The hell is the matter with you people?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Your execution's even worse than in training.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18We can't execute the game plan if we're missing two key players.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19OK. Fair enough.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Right, listen up.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Winning is about self-belief.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Each of you has got a little champion inside you.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Each of you is a winner.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32But you've got to look inside yourselves
0:19:32 > 0:19:36and find that little champion and you've got to believe in it.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39If you believe in yourselves,
0:19:39 > 0:19:43you'll know that we don't need Ronny and Elvin to win this game.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Look inside yourselves,
0:19:45 > 0:19:47believe in yourselves
0:19:47 > 0:19:48and you can do anything...
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Hey!
0:19:50 > 0:19:51Sorry we're late!
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Thank Christ you're here!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55These losers are getting us killed.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03The law team is first out here and what's this?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06It looks like Ronny and Elvin are taking the field.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08I think if Gary Ablett showed up with his son,
0:20:08 > 0:20:11it still wouldn't be enough to turn this score around.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Why, were those guys no good?
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- No, they were the best to ever play, man.- Oh, like Jordan and Pippen.
0:20:17 > 0:20:18Was Pippen Jordan's son?
0:20:18 > 0:20:19No.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Then, no.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22KLAXON BLARES WHISTLE BLOWS
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Asher wins the ball now.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29She goes forward.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32She passes to Ronny
0:20:32 > 0:20:34who kicks it in mid-air.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- What?!- What was that?!
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Wait a minute - Wei-Jun's doing the same thing!
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Now Elvin!
0:20:41 > 0:20:43No, no, no, no, no.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- You bloody...- Goal!- ..beauty!
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Go, you beautiful Asian children!
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Not legal. That's cheating.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Goal!
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Here we go, baby.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06- Woo!- You beauty.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Poetry in motion!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Music to my soul.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13They try that again, give them a compound fracture
0:21:13 > 0:21:15of the vastus intermedius of the right anterior femur!
0:21:25 > 0:21:27The law team is catching up.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29That was special.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I swear to God if we don't win this game, there is going to be
0:21:41 > 0:21:44student-on-student catheter practice for the next week.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47And with just seconds remaining,
0:21:47 > 0:21:50the law faculty are down by just a solitary point.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52If they score beyond the arc, is that worth three points?
0:21:52 > 0:21:56No, because this is Australian rules football.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Elvin goes down.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06The ball spills to Ronny now,
0:22:06 > 0:22:09who picks it up with his hands for the first time in the game.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Can he kick it on the run, like a normal player?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Kick it, Ronny. Kick it!
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Kick it through the big sticks!
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Kick it. Kick the ball.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23SHE GASPS
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- Oh...- Oh, no! He cracked under pressure and missed the kick.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34But from out of nowhere, Daniel controls the ball Asian style...
0:22:47 > 0:22:48KLAXON
0:22:48 > 0:22:49..and scores a goal!
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Oh, six points! Law win at the buzzer! Law win at the buzzer!
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Is that right?
0:22:53 > 0:22:57- Yes.- Yes!- Finally!- Yes! Go, law!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27And as the sun sets on this historic ground,
0:23:27 > 0:23:30we witness not a game but a moment in history,
0:23:30 > 0:23:33not just for football but for humanity.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36A big thanks to the great man, my colleague Craig Cooper.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Thank you for having me, Mick.
0:23:37 > 0:23:38The pleasure is all mine.
0:23:38 > 0:23:43I'm Mick Rosenberg and this is Australian rules football.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46So, what station were we broadcasting on?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Oh, no, we're not broadcasting, mate.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49The mics aren't even plugged in.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52No, it's just to boost morale.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53Oh.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Where the hell were you?
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Our group assignment group locked us in the study room cos they
0:24:00 > 0:24:03thought we were abandoning them. Man, I hate group assignments.
0:24:03 > 0:24:04Ronny, did you not realise,
0:24:04 > 0:24:07group assignment's not about the assignment?
0:24:07 > 0:24:10It's about learning to work with people you hate
0:24:10 > 0:24:15in a difficult situation and bonding through mutual adversity.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19You've done your group assignment and you got an A...
0:24:19 > 0:24:20Yay!
0:24:20 > 0:24:23..minus, because you missed the first half.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25- What?!- It wasn't even our fault.
0:24:25 > 0:24:26Ahem...
0:24:28 > 0:24:30I guess I owe you an apology.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35Your Asian feathery bullshit wasn't so bad after all.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40What are you doing? Get the fuck off me.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41Here's the thing.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45After what I saw today, though, I reckon you could play AFL.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46AF what?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48The pros, the big league.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Uh, thanks but no thanks.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Ronny, it could be your ticket to a better life.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54You've got nothing to lose?
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Nothing to lose? Our parents paid for us to be here, so we can get
0:24:57 > 0:24:59a better education, so we can go back and get
0:24:59 > 0:25:02reputable professions and/or take over cushy family businesses.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05We literally have everything to lose.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Yeah. Let's go.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Thanks for the A minus.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18I want you to remember this, lass.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19What?
0:25:21 > 0:25:25The day the greatest forward line ever...
0:25:25 > 0:25:26..walked away from the game.