0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language
0:00:17 > 0:00:19THEY LAUGH
0:00:19 > 0:00:21- Why would he say that? - It's true, it's what he does!
0:00:25 > 0:00:28My dad talks like he's in constant argument with himself.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30He's like, "Oh, yeah.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33"Nah. Yeah. Nah. Yeah, nah."
0:00:33 > 0:00:35And then, when he gets really worked up,
0:00:35 > 0:00:37he just communicates in neck spasms.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38"Yeah, nah, yeah, nah,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40"yeah, nah."
0:00:40 > 0:00:41Sounds exhausting.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44- What else can you do?- I think I could do Professor Dale.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45Yeah. Let's see it.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Good morning, everyone.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51The law is about conflict, which is why, today,
0:00:51 > 0:00:55I'm going to be teaching you how to dispose of a dead body.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Is that Cosby or Dale?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Why are we talking about impersonations?
0:01:00 > 0:01:03I'm auditioning for the law faculty comedy show in, like, ten minutes.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- The what? - The law faculty comedy show.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07It's an annual comedy sketch show
0:01:07 > 0:01:09written and performed by law students.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13It's got real famous alumni, Hacky Normand, Bob Betters,
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Feel Good Gangsters.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Hey, you should audition with me.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Ah, join a bunch of self-indulgent, self-centred, self-absorbed,
0:01:19 > 0:01:22type-A personality law students who think they're God's gift to comedy?
0:01:22 > 0:01:23- No, thank you.- Come on.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25It'll be fun. We'll get to hang out.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Ah, let me think about it.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
0:01:30 > 0:01:31Well, I'm going. If you change
0:01:31 > 0:01:33your mind, auditions are on the third floor.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35- OK. Thank you.- Oh, my God!
0:01:35 > 0:01:36- No. No, no, no...- Oh, I'm sorry!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38It's fine. No, it's fine. Go, go, go.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I don't like these pants, anyway. Yeah, just go. Don't be late.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42See you later.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Will you guys just bang, already?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46We're just friends, man.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47Yeah? Friends can bang.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51Listen, I know to your primitive, impulse-driven minds,
0:01:51 > 0:01:53the concept of a platonic relationship
0:01:53 > 0:01:56between a man and a woman is completely incomprehensible.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58You might be friends now,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01but you are one heartbeat away from looking at her differently.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02And then everything changes.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07SMOOTH SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYS
0:02:21 > 0:02:23What? No! That's crazy talk.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- It's going to happen.- Yeah.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28It's a good thing you're not doing that comedy whatever show.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Spending weeks together performing?
0:02:29 > 0:02:31All those raw emotions?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Sweat, tears,
0:02:33 > 0:02:34physical contact.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35HE SCOFFS
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Are you kidding me?- Interesting.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- I got to go for class. - There's no more classes today.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43- It's an extra class! - There are no more classes today!
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- You are lying!- You go, Ronny Chieng!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Go make a half-white, half-Asian baby!
0:02:49 > 0:02:50You know, halfies are super cute.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55SHOUTS AND GRUNTS
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Woo! Auditions! Yeah!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- First time?- Yeah. You?
0:03:03 > 0:03:06I've been doing it every year for the past, oh, six years.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Wow. You've been at university for six years?
0:03:09 > 0:03:10Oh, no, I graduated two years ago.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13I just love it, you know? Performing is my addiction.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Woo!
0:03:15 > 0:03:16SHOUTS
0:03:22 > 0:03:25SMOOTH SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYS
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- Hey, you came!- Hey.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33What made you change your mind?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36You know, meet new people, get out of my comfort zone.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Woo!
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Oh, no.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Please tell me he's not auditioning.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Good morning, everyone.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Ronny. Come gather round.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54My name is Daniel Tremblay Birchall, and I'm honoured
0:03:54 > 0:03:57to have been chosen as the youngest director
0:03:57 > 0:04:02in the illustrious history of the law faculty comedy show.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04Shit!
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Thank you.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Ah, by means of background,
0:04:08 > 0:04:12I was the lead in my school musical three times in a row.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Guys And Dolls, Barnum, and Pirates Of Penzance.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18So I am the very model of a modern major theatre performer.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20LAUGHTER
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Now!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Let's warm up with a quick game of Zip, Zap, Zoom.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25So, circle up!
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Yes! Love Zip, Zap, Zoom.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30- Zip!- Zap!- Zoom!
0:04:30 > 0:04:32- Zip!- Zap.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Zip! Shit!
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Shit. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I...I know it was zoom, I know it was zoom.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41- Of course it was zoom! - It's just a warm up.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44OK, er, moving on.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47When I point to you, give me your name and your best impersonation.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- I'm sorry, I'm just going to need a moment.- Oh, OK.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52You take as long as you need.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- OK. Go.- I'm Henry...
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Got one! I've got one! I'm on. I'm on.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58OK.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- SHOUTS:- Do it!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Just do it!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Don't let your dreams be dreams.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Yesterday, you said tomorrow.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11So just do it!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Make your dreams come true.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Do it. What are you waiting for?
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Do it.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Just do it.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Yes, you can.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Just do it.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Just...
0:05:29 > 0:05:30..do it!
0:05:36 > 0:05:37HE GRUNTS
0:05:41 > 0:05:43What was that?
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Shia LaBeouf.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Oh, OK. Uh, next?
0:05:48 > 0:05:49Hi, I'm Asher,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51and this is Colin Firth.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57- STILTED ENGLISH ACCENT:- I love you. And I'm angry about it.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58LAUGHTER
0:05:58 > 0:06:00OK, very good. Very good.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Uh...
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Ronny?
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Um... Hi, I'm Ronny and I don't really do impersonations.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10LAUGHTER
0:06:12 > 0:06:14That character is hilarious.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Oh, right, I'm actually not doing a character, I'm just talking.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19LAUGHTER
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Ronny, I know you're not doing a character,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24but that doesn't mean that it can't be one. Right?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Just do it!
0:06:30 > 0:06:33OK, funny people, thank you so much for coming.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I'll be posting a list of everyone who made it tonight.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Ah! Asher?
0:06:40 > 0:06:43I just wanted to say, that was one of the best auditions I've seen.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45And I wanted to let you know in person that you're in.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Thank you so much!
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- Chieng.- Hey, man, listen, all right?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54I get it. You don't want me to be a part of your thing.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Blah, blah, blah, whatever. I didn't want to be part of it anyway.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59I'm offering you a part in the show.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Oh. OK.
0:07:01 > 0:07:02If you think that I'm petty enough
0:07:02 > 0:07:06to let our previous animosity get in the way of art,
0:07:06 > 0:07:07you've seriously misjudged me.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09So, you in?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Yeah. OK. I guess. Yeah.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16I can't believe we both got in!
0:07:18 > 0:07:19Did I get in?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21No.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- SHIA LABEOUF VOICE:- I didn't do it!
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Why you guys still here?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35How did your extra class go?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Oh. I actually, um...
0:07:37 > 0:07:40..went to audition for the law comedy show.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44No shit. So how did you go?
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Well, we both got in.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48What? Oh, my God! Well done!
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Well, that's too bad. I mean,
0:07:49 > 0:07:52now you're going to have to spend all that quality time together.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Ronny, if you like her, just tell her.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Oh! Oh, really? Oh, wow, I didn't know it was so simple,
0:07:58 > 0:07:59thank you for telling me that!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01You'd better be sure about this, man.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03When a guy decides to fall in love with a friend
0:08:03 > 0:08:06and the feeling isn't mutual, things can get ugly.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Trust me.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10You don't decide to fall in love with someone. It's an emotion.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Sure. Real emotional.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- Are you done?- Almost.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Yeah.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Yeah, I'm done.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36- DANIEL:- So, you remember what your card was?- Yeah.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Is that your card?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- No, it wasn't.- OK.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42That...that's a disappointment.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Maybe if you check inside your breast pocket.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Oh, my God.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53This is my card! It has my signature, even.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55How did you do that?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Ah, a magician never reveals his tricks!
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Although the key is finding the right volunteer.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Ah, Chieng! Just the person I wanted to see.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06I've got a character that I think you're going to be perfect for.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10It's a classic outsider struggling to fit into a foreign situation.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Is it the angry, Asian laundry man?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Yeah, I wrote it specifically for you.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Ah, OK.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19Hello, sir.
0:09:19 > 0:09:20Is this the Laundromat?
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Yes. This is the prawndromat.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Can I get this suit cleaned?
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Then it just says, "Say something angry in Chinese."
0:09:29 > 0:09:30Yeah. Can you do that?
0:09:32 > 0:09:33SPEAKS CHINESE
0:09:33 > 0:09:35No, no, no. Like, much angrier.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38You know, he is the angry, Asian laundry man, after all.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41James, can you come over here and show Ronny how it might be done?
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Sure.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47OK.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Hello, sir. Can I get this suit cleaned?
0:09:50 > 0:09:56SPEAKS ANIMATEDLY IN CHINESE
0:09:57 > 0:09:58And scene.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Great work today, funny people.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- See you tomorrow.- See you.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06OK, what have you got?
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Hey. Do you want to, like, go for a coffee or something?
0:10:09 > 0:10:10I'd love to,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13but Daniel just asked me to go work on some improv with him.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- Is everything OK?- Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- Ronny! Great work today.- Thank you.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21I think Angry Asian Laundryman is coming along,
0:10:21 > 0:10:22he just needs some motivation.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Yeah. Maybe someone gave him a really shitty job?
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- Yeah, yeah, maybe. Asher, are you ready to go?- Yeah.- Great.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- So I'll just see you tomorrow, yeah? - Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sure.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35See you tomorrow.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Mm!
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Hey! How was it?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Rehearsal? Yeah, it was fine. We had this weird...
0:10:48 > 0:10:50No, did you ask her out or not?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53I was going to, but then she had this one-on-one session
0:10:53 > 0:10:55- with Daniel, the director, so... - Uh-oh.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Uh-oh what?
0:10:57 > 0:11:00- I don't want to talk about it! - Relax. The way you're acting,
0:11:00 > 0:11:02it's like you're never had a girlfriend before, or something.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05- Have you never had a girlfriend before?- No way!
0:11:05 > 0:11:06THEY LAUGH
0:11:09 > 0:11:11OK, buddy, look. I can help you out.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Come on. Have a seat.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14Get your phone out.
0:11:16 > 0:11:17Come on!
0:11:18 > 0:11:20You've come to the right place.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22OK. But if I do this, will you both leave me alone?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- BOTH:- Yes.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28OK. Send her a message and ask her out.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29Mm-hm.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31And tell her you like her.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34OK, now put a smiley face at the end,
0:11:34 > 0:11:36you want to let her know you're just being casual.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Don't put a smiley face. It reeks of desperation.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39OK, just an X.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41No X! Keep it cool.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43At least put an LOL,
0:11:43 > 0:11:45how else will she know you're not taking it seriously?
0:11:45 > 0:11:47I'm actually more of a "ha-ha" person.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48As a girl, I am telling you,
0:11:48 > 0:11:51sending that will make me think you are crazy weirdo.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I've been studying seduction community techniques
0:11:53 > 0:11:55since I was 16. I think I know what I'm talking about.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59That is the most loser sentence I have ever heard.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Don't put any of that shit, and just press send.
0:12:01 > 0:12:02OK! I'm just sending it!
0:12:04 > 0:12:07So. Now the battle of wills begins.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11Do not, I repeat, do not send her a message until she replies, OK?
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Stay strong. Don't cave.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15If she doesn't reply in 15 minutes,
0:12:15 > 0:12:17fuck it. It's over.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Again, dumb! If she doesn't reply,
0:12:19 > 0:12:21I'll just send her a message to see what she's doing tomorrow,
0:12:21 > 0:12:23and then we will know if she's busy or stalling.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27Don't do that. Then she's just going to know you're running reconnaissance for him.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Guys, this is crazy, all right? We're not planning an invasion.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31PHONE CHIMES
0:12:31 > 0:12:32- Oh!- What'd it say?
0:12:34 > 0:12:35She said,
0:12:35 > 0:12:36"Sure."
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Well, is there a smiley face after it?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40No. You know what? I'm done! I'm going to bed.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, slow down, OK?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44What's your plan for tomorrow?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Yeah. What are you going to do on this date?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48I don't know. I'll take her for dinner
0:12:48 > 0:12:49and I'll get her, like, a rose.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52- A single red rose?- Yeah.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Why don't you just show up with a hockey mask and a machete?
0:12:54 > 0:12:57I agree, you cannot buy her flower on the first date.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59You don't even know if she likes you yet.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Why? When you like someone, you get them a rose. It's romantic.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04The only difference between being romantic or creepy
0:13:04 > 0:13:06is if the girl likes you.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07So before you go doing anything drastic,
0:13:07 > 0:13:10confirm mutual attraction by looking for signals.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13All right, like what?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15For example, if she makes physical contact with you
0:13:15 > 0:13:18at least three times during the date, it's not an accident.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Three strikes and you're in.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21OK, this might sound crazy,
0:13:21 > 0:13:23but maybe you just listen to what she is saying.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26No, don't do that. That never works. Three strikes and you're in.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Doesn't three strikes mean you're out?
0:13:28 > 0:13:31- No. Three strikes means you're in. - Out!- In!
0:13:31 > 0:13:32- Out!- In!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34- Out!- In!- Out!
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- After you. - What's the special occasion?
0:13:39 > 0:13:42I thought we'd just go to the burger joint next to the library.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Yeah, I just want to try something new. I found this place online.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Super high ratings.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Experimental but enjoyable fusion Asian-Australian restaurant.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Cool.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54VOICEOVER: She just touched me. Was that an accident?
0:13:54 > 0:13:56She had enough space to walk, so it must have been on purpose.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58But why would she touch me, then? What does that mean?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Ni hao, mates. Welcome to Waste.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Today's specials are Peking duck parmesana,
0:14:03 > 0:14:06a barbecue pork bun pizza,
0:14:06 > 0:14:08and a beef brisket noodle sandwich.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Sounds great, thanks.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15I don't know about mixing these two cultures.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18They both work so well individually, but when you put them together,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- it kind of feels like it ruins them both.- No, I don't think so.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24At least give it a try, right? Won't not knowing be even worse?
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Is that a fork and chopstick?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29VOICEOVER: Oh! We have contact!
0:14:29 > 0:14:30That's two in 30 seconds.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34But maybe she was genuinely curious about the... Wait, what is this?
0:14:34 > 0:14:35A fork stick?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38You know, I still can't believe you're doing this comedy law show.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Well... You know, sometimes you've just got to follow your passions.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- I know right?- That's it! That's it! That's strike three!
0:14:45 > 0:14:48That's no accident. Just say it. Just say it, man.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Just do it!
0:14:50 > 0:14:52- I have feelings for... - Daniel said the same thing.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- BOTH:- What?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56No, you first.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Last night, he said, "Great comedy comes from the heart."
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Oh, yeah? What else did he say at this comedy masterclass?
0:15:02 > 0:15:05I was showing him some of my characters,
0:15:05 > 0:15:07like my dad, but he said I should be doing
0:15:07 > 0:15:09broader, more accessible characters, instead.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13I actually think good comedy comes from the unique stories
0:15:13 > 0:15:15that only you can tell.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17- Like your dad.- That's not what Daniel said.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20I got to be honest, I don't really give a fuck what Daniel says
0:15:20 > 0:15:23about comedy or about anything.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24Whoa.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27I know you have a history with him, but he's let it go.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28Why can't you?
0:15:28 > 0:15:32I did! But he's given me this stereotypically bad Asian character.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34I can't tell whether it's on purpose or if he's just stupid.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36- IMITATING RONNY: - Daniel is so stupid.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39This show is terrible, everything is terrible.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41I'm right and everyone else is wrong!
0:15:41 > 0:15:43OK. Just so you know,
0:15:43 > 0:15:46I don't actually think everything is always terrible.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48It's just a coincidence that in this particular instance,
0:15:48 > 0:15:50everything about that show is terrible.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52If you don't like it, why don't you just leave?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Never heard an Australian say that before.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57I didn't mean it like that.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- I was just joking. - Well, I didn't find it funny.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Well, for somebody in a comedy show, you really can't take a joke.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07I can take a joke, but it wasn't funny.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09You're being kind of annoying, right now.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Well, now you know how I feel when you bring up Daniel.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Well, you don't have to listen to me talk any more.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Wait! Asher! I'm sorry!
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Wait!
0:16:17 > 0:16:20OK, was that a signal or was that anger?
0:16:20 > 0:16:21There's no strike four, so...
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Definitely anger.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25You're so caught up in your own head.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28This isn't just some TV show about you.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Get over yourself.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32But I had like four strikes!
0:16:32 > 0:16:33You really blew that one.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Yeah? Well, wontons don't belong in pies.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Fucking right, mate.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44WHISPERING
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Hey, hey, hey! So?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49So, I should have bought her a rose.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Did you get three strikes? - No.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Well, yes.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54You didn't tell her how you felt?
0:16:54 > 0:16:56No! Goodnight.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Oh, poor little guy.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- He's heartbroken.- I told you.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04The three strike thing was stupid.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05It works! He just fucked it up.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08You think just because somebody touches you like this,
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- it means that they like you?- Yes.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Three times. I do.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13- Strike one.- What?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17And this?
0:17:17 > 0:17:18Strike two.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20And this?
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Just so you know, I'm choosing to feel this.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31You're not choosing shit!
0:17:36 > 0:17:40PEOPLE SPEAK, HUM AND MAKE ODD NOISES
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Hello, funny people.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52I just wanted to say...
0:17:52 > 0:17:55I can feel a real, tangible sense of excitement in the room today
0:17:55 > 0:17:57for our first full dress rehearsal.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Now, I didn't want to alarm anyone beforehand,
0:17:59 > 0:18:02but today, we're also going to be joined by a focus panel
0:18:02 > 0:18:05representing a cross section of the university.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07As we are an official law school production,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10they're here to provide feedback, as well as make sure
0:18:10 > 0:18:13that the show appropriately represents the university,
0:18:13 > 0:18:15which, of course, I'm sure that it does.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Now, no pressure.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Just be your usual, hilarious selves.
0:18:21 > 0:18:22And action.
0:18:22 > 0:18:23- ALL:- Woo!
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Hey, what are you doing?
0:18:31 > 0:18:33I'm turning on the TV.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Ohh,
0:18:37 > 0:18:42I'm the President. I want to be the President! Ahh!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Hello, sir. Is this the Laundromat?
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Yes. This is the raundromat.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Great. Can you wash this suit, please?
0:18:49 > 0:18:53SPEAKS CHINESE
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Whoa! Ah!
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Whoa! You've just taken a terrible tumble!
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Who are you?
0:19:08 > 0:19:10I'm the Greek economy.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13- GERMAN ACCENT: - Oh, ya! I will help you!
0:19:16 > 0:19:18- ENGLISH ACCENT:- I don't want nothing to do with this.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20I'm leaving this shop.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23But where's the, uh...
0:19:23 > 0:19:24..Brexit?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Oh, satire.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32# I'm The Rapping Judge
0:19:32 > 0:19:33# Oh, that's my name
0:19:33 > 0:19:35# And I'm here to make my statement
0:19:35 > 0:19:36# Of claim
0:19:36 > 0:19:38# I'm dropping directions
0:19:38 > 0:19:39# So stop your objections
0:19:39 > 0:19:41# My judgments don't need no correction
0:19:41 > 0:19:43# Check it out, what
0:19:43 > 0:19:46# Oh, I want to see you Hey, hey, ho
0:19:46 > 0:19:48- # Hey ho - Go judge
0:19:48 > 0:19:50# Go judge
0:19:50 > 0:19:52# Go judge, go judge
0:19:52 > 0:19:54# Woo! #
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Yeah!
0:19:56 > 0:19:58This court is adjourned.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01Bravo!
0:20:03 > 0:20:04Encore!
0:20:06 > 0:20:08OK, I have a question.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Can I ask why there aren't more gay people in this show?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13James is gay.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16How is the audience supposed to know that?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Do you want to see a penis go into an arsehole?
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Yeah, that might work.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25I'm very disappointed with the lack of Asian representation.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28The only Asian guy there is doing the stereotypical accent.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Oh, so the accent's what you have a problem with?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32OK, so you want more Asians, but you want them to be less Asian.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- Is that right?- Well, Ronny came up with that whole thing himself,
0:20:35 > 0:20:37but I'm happy to cut it.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39What?! No, no. Wait, I didn't even write that!
0:20:39 > 0:20:41I actually agree with you. This is a shitty character.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43But you went along with it.
0:20:43 > 0:20:44Yeah, but...
0:20:45 > 0:20:49- ..only because... - You know, Ronny, sometimes we have to pick our battles.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I mean, we could find something else for you to do.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53You could hold the giant gavel in the finale.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Actually, you know what?
0:20:58 > 0:20:59I'm...I'm out.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06OK, now I'm really concerned about the lack of Asians.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Ladies and gentlemen,
0:21:17 > 0:21:20welcome to the Law Faculty Comedy Show.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23You have the right to remain funny!
0:21:23 > 0:21:25NO-ONE LAUGHS
0:21:26 > 0:21:30After taking on a great deal of feedback,
0:21:30 > 0:21:33I've decided to make a last-minute change.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35The show will now begin with
0:21:35 > 0:21:39a tribute to the art of improvisational comedy.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Asher.
0:21:49 > 0:21:50I didn't know we were doing this.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52That's improv.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55And action!
0:22:00 > 0:22:02OK.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04I need a celebrity and a location.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Just go. Do anything.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16Anyone?
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Please?
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Name of someone famous.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26- Arnold Schwarzenegger.- Great!
0:22:26 > 0:22:28And a location?
0:22:28 > 0:22:29At a funeral.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32OK. Arnold Schwarzenegger at a funeral.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38I'll be back.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Unlike you, who are dead.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45You will not be back.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Get in the coffin.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Hasta la vista, body.
0:22:53 > 0:22:54NO-ONE LAUGHS
0:22:57 > 0:22:59OK. Next?
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Someone say anything.
0:23:04 > 0:23:05Your dad at his farm?
0:23:08 > 0:23:11- Oh, yeah. Nah. Yeah, nah. - LAUGHTER
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Yeah, nah.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Professor Dale at his lecture.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Good morning, everyone.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21LAUGHTER
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Today, I'm going to be teaching you
0:23:24 > 0:23:26how to dispose of a dead body,
0:23:26 > 0:23:28so it can't be found.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31LAUGHTER
0:23:31 > 0:23:34The angry Asian man who was a piece of shit to his friend.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41You're so stupid, this is terrible!
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Everything is terrible, everyone is stupid.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45LAUGHTER
0:23:45 > 0:23:48I guess Daniel was right, that character is pretty funny.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Yeah, Mum, I get it!
0:23:50 > 0:23:53I get it, Mum, roll it all the way down the shaft!
0:23:53 > 0:23:55What is this? Fucking amateur hour?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57LAUGHTER
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Keep going!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Shia LaBeouf.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Just do it!
0:24:04 > 0:24:06LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Just do it. Don't let your dreams be dreams.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Just do it!
0:24:11 > 0:24:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:17 > 0:24:20GRUNTS
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Yeah! Oh, yeah!
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Chieng!
0:24:27 > 0:24:30I just wanted you to know, there's no hard feelings from me.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Creative differences are just part of theatre...
0:24:32 > 0:24:33Shut the fuck up, Daniel.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36- Ronny!- Asher.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Thanks for saving my arse on stage.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40What? No, I didn't do anything. That was all you.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43That was awesome, it was incredible. The stuff you were doing.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Hey, listen, I'm really sorry for being such a dick...
0:24:48 > 0:24:49Hang on, me first.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53I'm sorry I got so caught up doing this show,
0:24:53 > 0:24:55I forgot what a good friend you are.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58And I never want our friendship to change.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Oh. Yeah, yeah. I... You know,
0:25:02 > 0:25:04that's exactly what I came here to tell you. It's like,
0:25:04 > 0:25:06it's amazing, we're always on the same page.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I don't want our friendship to change, either.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12CHEERING
0:25:12 > 0:25:13Asher! Come on!
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Oh! Oh, that's messy! Oh!
0:25:18 > 0:25:20WISTFUL PIANO MUSIC PLAYS