0:00:34 > 0:00:38Hello, I'm Frank Skinner and welcome to Room 101,
0:00:38 > 0:00:42the show where three guests compete to have their biggest bugbears
0:00:42 > 0:00:44banished forever to the dreaded vault.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46They'll have to argue their case well,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48because in each round only one item can be chosen.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50The final decision is mine.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Let's meet this week's guests.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Joining me tonight are lovely smile, Lucy Porter,
0:00:54 > 0:00:57full of bile, Romesh Ranganathan, and a bit of a trial, Judge Rinder.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Anyway. Let's get ready to grumble.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09What is upsetting Romesh?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16New Year's Eve.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17SCATTERED APPLAUSE
0:01:20 > 0:01:24I think it's such an unacceptable day of the year.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- You know, the fact that you're sort of put under pressure...- Mmm.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30..to celebrate it. You know, everyone's sort of geeing up,
0:01:30 > 0:01:32"What you doing for New Year's Eve? What you doing for New Year's Eve?"
0:01:32 > 0:01:34And the thing is, it's the wrong time of the year.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37I know it's supposed to be the end of the year, and that's OK,
0:01:37 > 0:01:38but it's just after Christmas.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40And then people are saying, "When do you want to...?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42"What are we doing? Where are we meeting up?"
0:01:42 > 0:01:45"Well, I've literally spent Christmas period seeing you.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48"Why would I want to see you again so soon?"
0:01:48 > 0:01:51It's such... It needs to be in the middle, like June or July,
0:01:51 > 0:01:53so you get a six-month break.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Not, we're all hanging out, and a few days later, "Here we are again!"
0:01:56 > 0:01:58"Yeah! It's a shame, isn't it?"
0:02:00 > 0:02:03And then it's just, sort of, the whole thing about the idea
0:02:03 > 0:02:06of New Year's Eve, people getting ready with resolutions and stuff.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I find resolutions... They should be banned.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Because if one person decides
0:02:11 > 0:02:14they're changing their life in a positive way,
0:02:14 > 0:02:16that's obviously horrible to hear about.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Because they're doing it at New Year's, EVERYBODY is like that,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23everyone is like, "I'm improving myself like this, I'm doing this."
0:02:23 > 0:02:24I don't care!
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Look at the top resolutions for New Year's.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29It's stuff like I'm going to lose weight,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I want to travel more, I want to read more books.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34These are all things that people want to talk about.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37And I don't want to hear about it.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42If their New Year's resolution was something like remain silent...
0:02:43 > 0:02:46..or, "I'm not going to see you."
0:02:46 > 0:02:48That's great, do you know what I mean?
0:02:48 > 0:02:52But New Year's things where they say...that conflict with my own...
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Like, my mum's New Year's resolution was to see me more.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57No, thank you.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00It's in complete and direct opposition to what I want to do!
0:03:01 > 0:03:06Here's two men who have, I think, changed New Year's Eve for ever.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Their names are Richard Sclafani and Peter Cicero,
0:03:09 > 0:03:13and they invented those glasses with the year on.
0:03:13 > 0:03:18They started them in 1991, and the last ones they made was 2009.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Can I say, every time I look at this picture,
0:03:21 > 0:03:24it winds me up that they're not in chronological order.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28That looks like Biggins, on the right-hand side.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Well, everyone in ridiculous glasses looks like Biggins.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34They're very unflattering, 1991, as well.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- They sort of make you look like you haven't slept for a week.- Yeah.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41This is what I wear on New Year's Eve.
0:03:43 > 0:03:44MUTED LAUGHTER
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- Sorry! - HE LAUGHS
0:03:51 > 0:03:53I don't know why that's funny.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59- I'm glad you thought it was funny, it got nothing from the crowd.- No!
0:03:59 > 0:04:02THEY CHEER
0:04:02 > 0:04:05My two favourite types of New Year's Eve are either end of the spectrum,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08either very, very drunk and debauched,
0:04:08 > 0:04:12or at home and in bed by ten o'clock.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Those are the only two.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16I think Jools Holland has revolutionised New Year,
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- cos there's actually some decent telly to watch.- He's certainly got me out of the house!
0:04:19 > 0:04:21LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:04:24 > 0:04:27The other issue I've got, it's my mother-in-law's birthday...
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Oh, dear.- ..on New Year's Eve.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31So, that's sort of a double whammy.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Misery, isn't it?
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Old red-wine-teeth is definitely going to be over.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39I mean, you seem like a young person,
0:04:39 > 0:04:41why would you have your mother-in-law over
0:04:41 > 0:04:43for New Year's Eve?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- Cos it's her birthday.- Oh.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Surely, I mean, I've not met her, but she must have the odd friend,
0:04:48 > 0:04:52- I would have thought?- She has got many odd friends! But, erm...
0:04:53 > 0:04:56But unfortunately we have to do this family thing.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57That's the problem, isn't it?
0:04:57 > 0:04:59It's because it's on New Year's Eve it's got to be...
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Can't you just tell them not to come?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Uh, my marriage is...
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Pick up the phone - "I'm awfully sorry, you can't come to our house,
0:05:05 > 0:05:10"sadly... I don't know, one of the pets died, or something."
0:05:10 > 0:05:13I don't understand. Why do you have to have your mum and your aunts...?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15It is a good plan, but we don't have any pets,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18so I'd have to buy an animal just to kill it,
0:05:18 > 0:05:20to make that excuse work, which I'm not willing to do.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24- To be fair, you could buy a dead animal.- Yeah, that's true.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- The butchers.- Get a pet turkey in November and...
0:05:27 > 0:05:29"Wow, so the chicken died, and then you de-feathered it,
0:05:29 > 0:05:32"and prepared it for cooking?" Oh, interesting.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Why can't they come round on New Year's Day?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36I mean, why must you have your family there that evening?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Because... - He's grilling you in the dock!
0:05:39 > 0:05:41He's grilling me as if I'm the only one that's ever done this.
0:05:41 > 0:05:46- Do you know what I mean? - Well, I must say, I've never had your auntie over...
0:05:46 > 0:05:48but never say never.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55This was how the BBC announced the new year in 2014.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04They were trying to say, "Year of the horse."
0:06:09 > 0:06:10But, er...
0:06:10 > 0:06:13I cheered when it came on.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17OK, what's upsetting Lucy?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Lavish... I will expand.- OK.- So, lavish proposals.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28I just... I understand that people have to get married.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31It's a duty that we all fulfil at some point.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Well, they don't have to. Can we make that clear?
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- Do we not?- I don't want anyone watching this, thinking,
0:06:35 > 0:06:37"Oh, my God, I've got to get married."
0:06:37 > 0:06:41I actually had to, because otherwise they wouldn't have stamped the immigration papers.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Fair enough.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- The fact that that's still getting applause is a good sign.- Yeah!
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Give it 12 months, you'll be booed off for that.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55ROMESH LAUGHS
0:06:57 > 0:06:59That's true.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I just think there's been a worrying trend recently... And again,
0:07:02 > 0:07:03it's a social media thing.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06My feeling on social media is that Twitter makes you despair of people
0:07:06 > 0:07:10you don't know, and Facebook makes you despise people you do know.
0:07:10 > 0:07:15And on Facebook you get all these pictures of people kind of going...
0:07:16 > 0:07:19And with the caption, "I said yes!"
0:07:19 > 0:07:20And I'm like, "What was the question?
0:07:20 > 0:07:24- "Shall we nauseate all our friends on social media?"- Mmm.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26It's like, get engaged, do it quietly,
0:07:26 > 0:07:28don't try and do these kind of...
0:07:28 > 0:07:32People do these videos where they try and go viral by doing some big,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35- lavish proposal with all their friends and family.- Mmm.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37And I just find it...
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I don't know. I mean, I...
0:07:39 > 0:07:41When my husband proposed to me... I'm 4ft 11,
0:07:41 > 0:07:44my husband is 6ft 5, so...
0:07:44 > 0:07:49He fell to one knee, and I thought, "Oh, that's what he looks like!"
0:07:49 > 0:07:50It was too late to back out.
0:07:50 > 0:07:55I was going to say, he probably needed to tweet you in order to communicate.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57It was a straightforward proposal?
0:07:57 > 0:08:01I mean, he did make me a Quorn Kiev before he proposed.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04And everyone says, "Oh, that's nice, did he put the ring in the Kiev?"
0:08:04 > 0:08:07No. No, he's made me a Quorn Kiev, and then he said,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09"Look, shall we get married?"
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- And I think that's normal. - LAUGHTER
0:08:12 > 0:08:14That to me is a normal proposal, not all this...
0:08:14 > 0:08:16It's not THAT normal.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20- I mean...- It's not normal...
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Down on one knee, I know that is a tradition...
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Quorn Kiev is a new one.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28I don't know if you believe in omens,
0:08:28 > 0:08:30but have a look at this proposal.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39That doesn't bode well.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44What about...? Here's a lovely engagement photograph.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49It's weird, isn't it?
0:08:49 > 0:08:53It's like, she's sort of... I wonder if she's got into that position first,
0:08:53 > 0:08:56and the photographer's saying, "This is not quite working for me."
0:08:56 > 0:08:59"Maybe you could look down at her as if she is the worst
0:08:59 > 0:09:00"thing that you've ever seen...
0:09:01 > 0:09:04"..and I think that'll sell it."
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Judging by the look of her shins,
0:09:06 > 0:09:08I'd say he's dragged her for nearly half a mile.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Here's a lovely story.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Kaitlin Whipple,
0:09:14 > 0:09:16this is in 2009,
0:09:16 > 0:09:19her boyfriend hid the engagement ring, at the proposal,
0:09:19 > 0:09:22in a milkshake in a diner, thinking,
0:09:22 > 0:09:26"She'll drink it, it'll be at the bottom of the glass, what larks."
0:09:26 > 0:09:28She was rushed to hospital...
0:09:29 > 0:09:32..and this was the X-ray.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38And there's a lovely quote from Kaitlin...
0:09:50 > 0:09:55I really hope she was in a public toilet, and when it came out,
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- she flicked the lock to engaged.- Aww!
0:10:00 > 0:10:02That would be so romantic, wouldn't it?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04APPLAUSE
0:10:07 > 0:10:09I lost my wedding ring on a show that we did.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- You know when we did Taskmaster? - Oh, yeah.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13You know you have to put up your stuff?
0:10:13 > 0:10:15So, I put up my wedding ring...
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- and then lost.- Oh, yeah. Who won it?- And Josh won it.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Josh Widdicombe, so I just thought, "Oh, he'll give me the ring back."
0:10:20 > 0:10:23So, I went to him, and went "Mate, can I get the wedding ring back?" And he just went,
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- AS JOSH:- "Er, I'm perfectly entitled to keep it."
0:10:26 > 0:10:28LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:33 > 0:10:37Did he say, "I'm having your wedding ring, but you can have my voice"?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Let's see what's upsetting Robert.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50These are couples who communicate with each other over social media.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52I mean, what is wrong with them?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54For a start, I...
0:10:54 > 0:10:57- APPLAUSE - Thank you.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01For a start, I couldn't care less about your private relationship
0:11:01 > 0:11:03whatsoever, at all.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07Secondly, people make the most disgusting announcements
0:11:07 > 0:11:10and put them on Facebook, and think that that's perfectly reasonable.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13"I'd like to celebrate my husband, Nigel,
0:11:13 > 0:11:15"he's having an operation this week,
0:11:15 > 0:11:17"and we do hope that...
0:11:17 > 0:11:20"the repair to his prolapse is successful."
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I don't care! I couldn't care less. And...
0:11:24 > 0:11:27why don't you speak to your husband or partner at home?
0:11:27 > 0:11:31- You know, in the secrecy... - Now you've gone too far(!)- Yeah.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34No-one does that. Not after a couple of years.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37It's the death of, you know, relationships,
0:11:37 > 0:11:39and normal communication.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Not to mention incredibly boring.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43I'm missing out on all this.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45I'm presuming you mean this.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49This would be a typical example...
0:11:49 > 0:11:50LUCY LAUGHS
0:11:51 > 0:11:54..and that's from Lucy Porter.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Did you really do that?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Do you know...
0:11:57 > 0:11:59That's so terribly embarrassing!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:12:04 > 0:12:07I love this, we get them in my cases sometimes.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Did you mean to shout in that sort of...
0:12:09 > 0:12:12"I really do have a TREMENDOUS husband!"
0:12:12 > 0:12:14You know when you go out of the room
0:12:14 > 0:12:16and you leave your phone unlocked for a bit?
0:12:16 > 0:12:19No... Don't assume I know anything after 1897.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- I genuinely... It's unlikely. - Are you saying you didn't do that?
0:12:23 > 0:12:28I am saying that that has the fat fingers of my husband all over it.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30- Really?!- He's done a more...
0:12:30 > 0:12:33not-suitable-for-this-time-of-night one
0:12:33 > 0:12:36about, "My husband really does have an enormous..."
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Fill it in yourself. And I was like, "How could you think that...?"
0:12:39 > 0:12:42But then the weird thing is, people then respond to it.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45That one, they were going, "Oh, that's lovely.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47"That's so nice to hear, babes. Isn't that great?"
0:12:47 > 0:12:50And then the one where he said he had an enormous...cock...
0:12:50 > 0:12:54- And people...- I'm glad you cleared that up, I was worried.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58I thought it was going to be goitre.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09"I've been trying to keep this quiet, but it's just...
0:13:09 > 0:13:11"It's killing us all."
0:13:11 > 0:13:14There's a picture of him.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21This is the sort of thing I want to see about being a couple...
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Romesh Ranganathan.
0:13:34 > 0:13:39Do you know, it's just, she does my head in when we're driving.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41She'll do this, right? I'll be driving.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45She'll be sitting in the passenger seat, and she'll go, "AH! Oh, my God! Oh, God!"
0:13:45 > 0:13:47And I'll go, "Oh, my... What? What's up?"
0:13:47 > 0:13:49She'll go, "I think I know that girl."
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Why would you tell everybody else? I mean, the world?
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Why do they need to know about it?
0:13:56 > 0:13:57Because, um...
0:13:57 > 0:14:01I lack the spine to confront my wife directly. So...
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- ..I just thought I'd share it.- I've had car journeys with my partner,
0:14:07 > 0:14:09I haven't even communicated that intimately.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12We once did a three and a half hour drive,
0:14:12 > 0:14:16and just before we got in the car we had a massive row.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19We drove in complete silence for three and a half hours.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23And I knew there was live football on the radio...
0:14:23 > 0:14:25I wasn't prepared to push it that far.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29I remember there was a point, I let a bloke in,
0:14:29 > 0:14:31and he flashed his headlights at me...
0:14:31 > 0:14:33It felt like an embrace.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39So, at least they're communicating in some way, Robert.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41No, no. I mean, they can communicate themselves.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45I mean, do you care that his wife hasn't told him he loves her,
0:14:45 > 0:14:47or anything like that? I mean, it's...
0:14:47 > 0:14:50It's like being invited to dinner parties, it's just awful.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51What's wrong with people?
0:14:51 > 0:14:55- That's a great analogy, I'll give you that.- Yeah.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I do think it is fun when people are having problems, though.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Yeah. We want to know. I will only share -
0:15:01 > 0:15:04apart from when my husband hacks my account -
0:15:04 > 0:15:05I will only share negative stuff
0:15:05 > 0:15:08about how he never remembers I like coconut,
0:15:08 > 0:15:10he doesn't know I'm left-handed.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13You know? Cos I don't want to be one of those couples where,
0:15:13 > 0:15:15if we split up, everyone says, "Oh, but they were so perfect together."
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- No.- I want to be one of those couples where people say,
0:15:18 > 0:15:22- "Oh, they've split up," and they go, "Thank God, I thought you were going to say she'd killed him."- Yeah.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24I put up similar things just to make people feel better.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26I'll say things like, "When we're making love,
0:15:26 > 0:15:29"she looks dead behind the eyes." Do you know what I mean? Stuff like that.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Just to cheer friends up.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35LAUGHTER
0:15:36 > 0:15:38So...
0:15:38 > 0:15:41I think we come to, yes, to the end of this round.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- Have I won?- Um... Not yet.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Lavish proposals...
0:15:46 > 0:15:50I do sort of like the ridiculousness of them,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53and the fact that one can pour scorn on them.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56You feel you can pour scorn because someone's having a special moment
0:15:56 > 0:16:00in their life, and so they have love on one side of the seesaw,
0:16:00 > 0:16:02you can put derision on the other.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04So, I would go for that.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Couples, you know, Robert, I know what you mean, it's a bit embarrassing,
0:16:08 > 0:16:12but it is sort of nice that people are still declaring love,
0:16:12 > 0:16:14and aren't so cynical and embarrassed about it.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17They still want to let the world know.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19So, you know what, I'm going to put New Year's Eve into Room 101.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:33 > 0:16:37And so... What's winding up Lucy Porter?
0:16:44 > 0:16:47In most industries, I'm against child labour
0:16:47 > 0:16:50because of the indignity that the children suffer.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52In terms of show business,
0:16:52 > 0:16:55I'm against it because of the indignity that we suffer.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58- There's just something about it that makes my flesh creep...- Mmm.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02..about children. Cos children are meant to be bad actors,
0:17:02 > 0:17:04and you don't want to see that on screen.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05Like, I've never seen a good...
0:17:05 > 0:17:09I don't want to single any out, but all of them are terrible.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Right.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- And...- Is this because you're 4ft 11,
0:17:13 > 0:17:16you're sitting at home thinking, "I could play that part"?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19I think so. You know, cos in the olden days, like,
0:17:19 > 0:17:21do you remember the film Grease?
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Right? Cos in Grease, all the teenagers were at least 40.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27They all had crows feet, beer bellies.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31I think in the '50s, though, I think teenagers were about 40.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34It's a new phenomenon, youth.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36It is, and I don't need to see it on television.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38We've done the experiment now,
0:17:38 > 0:17:41we know that all child actors end up with horrible lives.
0:17:41 > 0:17:47Miley Cyrus was a child actor, she was Mickey Mouse Club.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Who would have thought that she'd end up on a wrecking ball?
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Can I say, every time I see this,
0:17:54 > 0:17:58I know as a heterosexual male I'm supposed to think,
0:17:58 > 0:17:59"Wow, look at that."
0:17:59 > 0:18:03I grew up with my mother telling me that if you sit on a cold surface,
0:18:03 > 0:18:04you'll get haemorrhoids.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09That's all I'm thinking when I look at that picture.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11I'm thinking, "She is a fool!"
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Well, what about the kid from Jerry Maguire?
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- Do you remember him?- Nauseating! - He was called Jonathan Lipnicki.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21This was what he looked like in Jerry Maguire.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- Oh, yeah!- This is what he looks like now.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- AUDIENCE:- Oh!
0:18:26 > 0:18:27Exactly!
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Look at... You could use his stomach as a toast rack!
0:18:33 > 0:18:34I really hope he's going to go back
0:18:34 > 0:18:36and punch Tom Cruise in the face for shagging his mum.
0:18:38 > 0:18:43Would you like to say that again in a slightly more 8.30 on BBC One...
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Can you not say "shagging" at 8.30 these days?
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Well, I've tried it, but my partner just laughs at me.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57APPLAUSE
0:18:59 > 0:19:03It's difficult for parents as well, cos my son, he likes acting,
0:19:03 > 0:19:06and we have to go and watch performances or whatever,
0:19:06 > 0:19:10which is fine, because you're genetically sort of hard-wired
0:19:10 > 0:19:13to think that what your son's doing is interesting. But...
0:19:14 > 0:19:17..he's only in it for two minutes, and then I'm just sitting there,
0:19:17 > 0:19:19watching other people's children be crap.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Kids do a bit of acting at home, though, let's face it.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26This is a child who doesn't want to tidy up.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28- MAN OFF-SCREEN:- What's the problem?
0:19:28 > 0:19:31SHE CRIES
0:19:33 > 0:19:35You can't lift that up?
0:19:35 > 0:19:36- CHILD:- No!
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Come back and try again.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40You're almost to the sink.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I can't do it.
0:19:45 > 0:19:46SHE GROANS DRAMATICALLY
0:19:47 > 0:19:49I can't do it.
0:19:51 > 0:19:52That looks like it's very heavy.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54I think you can do it, though, Cerys.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56And I think you can lift it up to the sink,
0:19:56 > 0:19:58and you can help clear the table.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59SHE GROANS
0:20:01 > 0:20:02I'm not big enough.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Gosh!
0:20:04 > 0:20:06She's better than most people in Hollyoaks, isn't she?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10That is either a great child actor,
0:20:10 > 0:20:13or some parents are terrorising a kid with some sort of muscle-wasting disease.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Or just a really heavy bowl.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24OK, and so to Romesh.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39Will.i.am, first of all, I think it's obvious he's nicked my look.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43I used to like him when he was in, like, the Black Eyed Peas.
0:20:43 > 0:20:48But I think my biggest issue is him being a judge on The Voice.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51It's very easy to be a judge on those talent shows,
0:20:51 > 0:20:54because what you're supposed to do, you go, "I thought that was...
0:20:54 > 0:20:56"fantastic." And then the audience go nuts.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Or you go, "I thought that was...
0:20:57 > 0:21:00"disappointing." And then they go... But what he does is,
0:21:00 > 0:21:04- AMERICAN ACCENT:- "I thought that was like a unicorn dressed in a tiara
0:21:04 > 0:21:07"just sort of sashaying across my living room floor."
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- He...- Can I say, by the way, before you go any further,
0:21:13 > 0:21:16that we on the BBC believe The Voice is a spent force.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20The sooner it's put out of its misery, the better.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24I also...
0:21:25 > 0:21:28I also find the way that he dresses unacceptable.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Because it's not a stage outfit.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33That is how he dresses.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36So it's not like a costume, that's how he goes to the shops.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38And I think what you are doing is,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41you're encouraging normal people to dress like that,
0:21:41 > 0:21:44and people are going to get beaten up, you know.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Because they think it's OK to wear jodhpurs and, like,
0:21:47 > 0:21:49a bowtie above your right eyebrow.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52And you do that, you get beaten up.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55And then will.i.am's like, "Well, nobody bothers me about it."
0:21:59 > 0:22:00What are you talking about?
0:22:03 > 0:22:05- Who...? - Do you know will.i.am?
0:22:06 > 0:22:07Um...
0:22:08 > 0:22:11He's a rapper, who was in a group called The Black Eyed Peas.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- He's an entrepreneur.- Right.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16And he's a judge on The Voice.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18You're not on your own, Robert.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19This is a clip from American news.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23I'm just kind of giving you a little bit of what you see here.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28That's Wyclef Jean giving an interview.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30He is one of the many surrogates...
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Sorry?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Who is...?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Waal-A, excuse me,
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Waal-A. I got my artists mixed up.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Is it the right thing to correct him while he's still on?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Do you know what I mean? - I think so.- Is it?
0:22:46 > 0:22:51I think the longer that mistake is allowed to live,
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- the more damage it does. - Cos I wonder...
0:22:53 > 0:22:55I wonder, if you just sort of go, "That's Wyclef Jean,"
0:22:55 > 0:22:57and then pan back...
0:22:57 > 0:22:59just, people will go, "Maybe that was Wyclef Jean,"
0:22:59 > 0:23:01do you know what I mean?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04My favourite fact about him,
0:23:04 > 0:23:08is he's got a cousin that lives in West Yorkshire.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10I love that.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12He's called will.i.heck.as.like.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Do you know, you almost licked your lips before you delivered that.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23I couldn't wait! I couldn't wait to get to the punch line.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25It's as simple as that.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30But he is, I mean, he's regarded as an extremely talented
0:23:30 > 0:23:32and successful artist.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- By will.i.am?- Particularly.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Here's a picture of him at the O2.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Get this for a...
0:23:39 > 0:23:43Can I say, one of my horrors as a child
0:23:43 > 0:23:46was that an armchair might stand up.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50And that looks as if what has happened there.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53You could have been sitting in that when it straightened.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59He did a really patronising anti-Trump song, as well.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02He was dressed up as Trump, and he was sort of
0:24:02 > 0:24:05trying to have a go at the fact that Trump's quite sexist, etc.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07The lyrics were so ridiculous.
0:24:07 > 0:24:12It was like he got a four-year-old to put together a feminist agenda.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15It was insane.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17We have a clip of the Trump thing you're talking about.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19- OK.- Here he is.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22# When I'm president I won't be like Obama
0:24:22 > 0:24:24# If anyone talks... about me I'll bomb em
0:24:24 > 0:24:26# I'm grabbin' that... like there's no tomorrow
0:24:26 > 0:24:29# And if we have problems with Russia I'll bomb em
0:24:29 > 0:24:31# Whatcha going to do about Al-Qaeda and Isis?
0:24:31 > 0:24:33# Whatcha going to do about the Syrian crisis?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35# Whatcha going to do when you step in the door?
0:24:35 > 0:24:37# Will the rich stay richer and the poor stay poor?
0:24:37 > 0:24:39- # No... - # Ah, shut up, girl
0:24:39 > 0:24:41# It ain't about you, girl It's all about me, girl
0:24:41 > 0:24:44# Don't you see my name on the, on the building, girl?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46# And when I'm president, I'ma, I'ma own the world
0:24:46 > 0:24:47# I'm a star. #
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Wow! I'd have voted for Trump(!)
0:24:51 > 0:24:52I mean, I reckon that's why he won.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Before we finish this...
0:24:56 > 0:24:58That's the worst thing that I've... I mean, I've seen...
0:24:58 > 0:24:59That...
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Put it in Room 101.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04I might do, in a minute.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:25:09 > 0:25:10Before we move on,
0:25:10 > 0:25:13can I just show you my favourite ever will.i.am lookalike?
0:25:15 > 0:25:17LAUGHTER
0:25:18 > 0:25:20APPLAUSE
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Oh, it's the little things in life.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27And so,
0:25:27 > 0:25:28to Robert Rinder.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36School reunions,
0:25:36 > 0:25:37what's the point?
0:25:37 > 0:25:39I mean, first of all,
0:25:39 > 0:25:41if it's been that long and you've not seen them,
0:25:41 > 0:25:44then there's almost certainly a jolly good reason in the first place.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48That's the first reason. Secondly,
0:25:48 > 0:25:51you go back, as far as I can gather,
0:25:51 > 0:25:55somebody I know borrowed a more pleasant wife and a car to show up
0:25:55 > 0:25:59and lord it over the other people who were still there.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02You know, "Isn't my life much better than yours?"
0:26:02 > 0:26:05That's really why you go, to see where you're doing
0:26:05 > 0:26:08vis-a-vis some other poor person, who you almost certainly realise
0:26:08 > 0:26:09wasn't going to do well in any event.
0:26:11 > 0:26:12Plus it's school.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16Which was, you know, unpleasant for most people anyway.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18What sort of conversations...?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20What...? You know, "Oh, you were always so quiet."
0:26:20 > 0:26:21Yes, that's cos I hated you.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Anyway, that's why I want to get rid of it.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28APPLAUSE
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Also, why would you...?
0:26:32 > 0:26:33It's like a cricket clap.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37That was a single to third man.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Disaster. I mean...
0:26:40 > 0:26:42I take it you haven't been to one?
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Well, they haven't... They haven't invited me.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49I didn't really suit the condition of childhood terribly well,
0:26:49 > 0:26:51is the problem. I mean...
0:26:51 > 0:26:54I once had a teacher sit me down who said, "I just want you to know,
0:26:54 > 0:26:56"I really, really hate you."
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Isn't that sweet?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01How old were you at that stage?
0:27:01 > 0:27:0312, probably.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06No, but I was incredibly annoying, is the problem.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08I find that hard to believe.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Yeah. No, but I mean...
0:27:09 > 0:27:11What was the point...? I mean...
0:27:11 > 0:27:14Yeah. I mean, it was all a disaster.
0:27:14 > 0:27:15This is completely true.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18I was never on, you know that Friends Reunited thing?
0:27:18 > 0:27:20I was never on that.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25But recently, it was as a result of knowing you'd chosen this,
0:27:25 > 0:27:28I thought, I will look up somebody who I fancied at school.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31And, obviously, I won't mention her name,
0:27:31 > 0:27:33but I looked up her name and, you know,
0:27:33 > 0:27:35where she lived and stuff like that.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37And she was on there...
0:27:38 > 0:27:41But the only place I could find her, it was,
0:27:41 > 0:27:45the heading was WikiLeaks BNP members list.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47THEY ALL GASP
0:27:47 > 0:27:50Now, I was expecting some physical decay,
0:27:50 > 0:27:52I thought morally, she'd still be all right!
0:27:54 > 0:27:56- But, yeah, that's... - That's dreadful.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59That's how I find my ex-loves.
0:28:01 > 0:28:02Why do you care about these people?
0:28:02 > 0:28:06They're all dreadful. Everybody you were at school with was dreadful.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Idiots. All of them.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11But there's cosmic justice, that you go and the ones who were horrible,
0:28:11 > 0:28:14are now unhappy. And the ones who were nice are now...
0:28:14 > 0:28:19It is... It is wonderful when you meet someone at a school reunion,
0:28:19 > 0:28:22and you think, "Wow, your life peaked in year ten."
0:28:25 > 0:28:29I've never been a stunner, you know, so I've not faded.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32I looked dreadful even in my prime.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35So, for me, there's no fear in that.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Because all the people that were really, you know, the hot ones or whatever,
0:28:38 > 0:28:39they look dreadful.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41They've had to see the decline.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45And you sort of look and you go, "I couldn't even tell it was you,
0:28:45 > 0:28:47"you looked so horrendous."
0:28:48 > 0:28:50I was like, I had a beard and glasses from eight.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55Didn't you go to school with Rachel Stevens from S Club 7?
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Primary school. That's right, yeah, primary school.
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Well, she seems lovely.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01There she is.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04Every time I see a picture of S Club 7, I don't know why,
0:29:04 > 0:29:06I have to count them.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09It's not like after all these years,
0:29:09 > 0:29:12I'm going to find out there was eight of them. I always do it.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14There she is in the purple top, looking lovely.
0:29:14 > 0:29:18So that suggests there was nice people in your school past.
0:29:18 > 0:29:19She's very beautiful.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22- Probably lost on me even then, I would have thought.- Yeah.
0:29:24 > 0:29:25Think yourself lucky,
0:29:25 > 0:29:29my ex-love was from SS Club 7!
0:29:32 > 0:29:35I used to occasionally go back and have a look at my school
0:29:35 > 0:29:38from the outside, just for that, you know...
0:29:38 > 0:29:41This is me at my old school.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45My mum was very late picking me up!
0:29:48 > 0:29:49How old are you there?
0:29:49 > 0:29:52- If I was you, I'd get that photo destroyed.- Why?
0:29:54 > 0:29:56Do I look like a suspicious character?
0:29:58 > 0:30:01I really think it's not good for you that that photo exists, mate.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05I hadn't thought of that, actually.
0:30:07 > 0:30:08You should pan down!
0:30:11 > 0:30:14I ended up teaching at the school that I went to,
0:30:14 > 0:30:16- it was a bit...a bit weird.- Ooh! - Yeah.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19- That's a big reunion!- Yeah.- Yuck!
0:30:19 > 0:30:22I tell you what, man, the first time walking into the staff room,
0:30:22 > 0:30:24felt like I was going into Narnia!
0:30:24 > 0:30:29Absolutely incredible! But, actually, it was just people crying.
0:30:29 > 0:30:32Were the other teachers pleased, thinking you'd done well,
0:30:32 > 0:30:34or did they just feel a bit sort of upset?
0:30:34 > 0:30:35I think it is pretty sad, isn't it,
0:30:35 > 0:30:38to go back and teach at the school you went to?
0:30:38 > 0:30:40Teachers who you thought hated you at school
0:30:40 > 0:30:42end up being your colleagues.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45And also, the ones that you thought were rubbish, were actually rubbish.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Nine times out of ten, you sort of go,
0:30:47 > 0:30:50"Oh, yeah, I was right when I thought you were incompetent."
0:30:52 > 0:30:54So, we come to the end of this round,
0:30:54 > 0:30:58I don't think we can put child actors in,
0:30:58 > 0:31:00because I think, probably,
0:31:00 > 0:31:03children should play children in things,
0:31:03 > 0:31:06otherwise you're going to get people childrening up.
0:31:06 > 0:31:07You'll do me out of work.
0:31:07 > 0:31:08I'm sorry about that.
0:31:09 > 0:31:13The school reunion, I don't really like looking back,
0:31:13 > 0:31:15which is hazardous on the motorway.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17But will.i.am,
0:31:17 > 0:31:20there's something warm and cuddly,
0:31:20 > 0:31:24and less butch about him than other rappers.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26You know what, I might...
0:31:27 > 0:31:28Oh, no, to hell with it,
0:31:28 > 0:31:31I'm going to put will.i.am into Room 101.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:31:41 > 0:31:43OK, we've just got time for a bonus choice,
0:31:43 > 0:31:46so I'm going to see what Romesh has gone for.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53- It is soft play centres. - SCATTERED APPLAUSE
0:31:54 > 0:31:57- Now...- Even soft applause!
0:31:59 > 0:32:03It's basically... Soft play centres are basically hell with padding.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06Like, there's so much wrong with them. First of all,
0:32:06 > 0:32:09it's normally just a warehouse, like an industrial sort of warehouse space,
0:32:09 > 0:32:13and in the far side of it, they've crammed as much...
0:32:13 > 0:32:15of Satan's creations as they can.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18You know, there'll be scaffolding, ball pit,
0:32:18 > 0:32:21there's all of this stuff and then you go in
0:32:21 > 0:32:22and they give you a wrist band
0:32:22 > 0:32:25that dictates to you how long you can spend in there.
0:32:25 > 0:32:27You can't, in those places,
0:32:27 > 0:32:30book for just ten minutes. And I don't understand.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33It has to be an hour. "I don't want to be here for an hour!
0:32:33 > 0:32:37"What I want to be here for is ten minutes and find an excuse to leave."
0:32:39 > 0:32:42The biggest nightmare I have when I go into a soft play centre
0:32:42 > 0:32:46is if there's loads of mums and one other dad
0:32:46 > 0:32:51because I know that he is going to come over and have a chat.
0:32:51 > 0:32:57It's the worst... I can feel him gradually making his way over
0:32:57 > 0:33:00so that we can pretend that we've got something in common.
0:33:00 > 0:33:04I can't imagine he hates himself as much as I hate him.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09And then you've got to deal with other people's kids.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11We've got three children. The first one is angelic,
0:33:11 > 0:33:14the second one should never be...created,
0:33:14 > 0:33:18the third one is too young to make a decision about.
0:33:18 > 0:33:23So the first one, you put him in there, into the ball pit, the climbing thing,
0:33:23 > 0:33:24and you look around to make...
0:33:24 > 0:33:27And you just think, "I hope he doesn't get bullied."
0:33:27 > 0:33:30The second one, you're thinking, "I hope he doesn't burn the building down."
0:33:30 > 0:33:34So you're watching that and then I'm watching the kid,
0:33:34 > 0:33:37there's so many dangers at a soft play centre.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40First of all, there's always one random kid that's soiled himself,
0:33:40 > 0:33:44who runs around the thing. Every 20 minutes, you go, "What...?"
0:33:47 > 0:33:52And my kids will be like having a fight or getting into a disagreement
0:33:52 > 0:33:54with another kid. You've got to think to yourself,
0:33:54 > 0:33:58not only have I got to figure out how to deal with that situation,
0:33:58 > 0:34:02I've got to figure out who's... who are the parents of that kid,
0:34:02 > 0:34:05because if the dad is massive, "You're on your own, mate."
0:34:05 > 0:34:08There's absolutely no way I'm stepping in to help out.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10It's unhygienic.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13I don't... The ball pit...
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Come on, mate! That, to me, I just think, "Ebola."
0:34:17 > 0:34:18And then the other thing is,
0:34:18 > 0:34:21one of my biggest issues with soft play centres,
0:34:21 > 0:34:24they don't have specialised staff. What I mean by that
0:34:24 > 0:34:27is the same staff that are going round cleaning up the stuff
0:34:27 > 0:34:29are also the staff that are running the cafe bit,
0:34:29 > 0:34:30that serves food.
0:34:30 > 0:34:34I don't want to buy a sandwich from somebody
0:34:34 > 0:34:39who, seven minutes earlier, I saw fishing out a turd from a slide!
0:34:39 > 0:34:41There's absolutely no way, mate!
0:34:41 > 0:34:43I'm not going to get a Slush Puppy from you!
0:34:43 > 0:34:46There's absolutely no way!
0:34:46 > 0:34:48But I have to defend them, though,
0:34:48 > 0:34:51because it is the only thing to do on a really wet day,
0:34:51 > 0:34:54the kids are bouncing off the... You know at the weekends,
0:34:54 > 0:34:58when your kids are full of energy, it's raining outside, there's nothing to do.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01I mean, I remember, before we had kids,
0:35:01 > 0:35:04my husband and I, we knew we were expecting and we made a vow,
0:35:04 > 0:35:07we said, "We will never start drinking until we have put our children to bed."
0:35:07 > 0:35:09Our kids go to bed at noon now sometimes!
0:35:09 > 0:35:12But at the weekends, there is literally nothing else to do
0:35:12 > 0:35:15to expend the energy, so you have to go to the soft play.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17No, I don't disagree, but I love my children
0:35:17 > 0:35:20because there's something in my brain that tells me to.
0:35:20 > 0:35:22Other people's children can burn.
0:35:22 > 0:35:25- LAUGHTER - I literally...
0:35:25 > 0:35:28do not want to spend any time
0:35:28 > 0:35:30around loads of them
0:35:30 > 0:35:33who are pumped up on sugar, just going, "Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
0:35:33 > 0:35:35And then, like, my kid comes up and goes,
0:35:35 > 0:35:38"He did that," and you just think, "I don't care, mate.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40"I just... I'll be honest with you,
0:35:40 > 0:35:43"until my phone runs out of battery, I'm not talking to you,
0:35:43 > 0:35:45"so why don't you just deal with that
0:35:45 > 0:35:48"any way you see fit and we'll have a chat about it later,
0:35:48 > 0:35:51"but I've just seen a plug point so it's not going to be soon."
0:35:53 > 0:35:56I mean, my kid is quite a gentle, sweet boy
0:35:56 > 0:35:59and I find, at soft play centres,
0:35:59 > 0:36:02- everything is soft except the other kids.- Mm.
0:36:02 > 0:36:07And they have often got skinhead haircuts and head scars,
0:36:07 > 0:36:11aged four, and they just pursue him around this...
0:36:11 > 0:36:13It's like watching Pac-Man!
0:36:15 > 0:36:17- It's...- And then it is when the other parents say,
0:36:17 > 0:36:19"He's just very spirited," and you're like,
0:36:19 > 0:36:22"No, he's a psychopath who just hasn't had the right tools yet!"
0:36:22 > 0:36:25We've got one near us that describes itself as pirate themed
0:36:25 > 0:36:27and we went along and were like, "Yeah, it's pirate themed
0:36:27 > 0:36:31"cos someone lost a leg and everyone's suffering vitamin C deficiency."
0:36:31 > 0:36:33The one near us,
0:36:33 > 0:36:36they... Obviously they've got a maximum capacity, right,
0:36:36 > 0:36:38that they can't accept any more people.
0:36:38 > 0:36:41They don't tell you that. What happens is,
0:36:41 > 0:36:43we pull up, the kids are going, "Soft play! Soft play!"
0:36:43 > 0:36:45Then we pull up and the girl goes, "You can't come in,"
0:36:45 > 0:36:48and then I've got to deal with the apocalypse
0:36:48 > 0:36:50in the back of the car for the next 45 minutes.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52I don't know, also, do you get the thing where...?
0:36:52 > 0:36:54My kids go in and you have to take your shoes off
0:36:54 > 0:36:57and so then they throw their shoes and I get more exercise than they do
0:36:57 > 0:36:58by crawling around under every table
0:36:58 > 0:37:01trying to find where they've chucked their shoes by the end of it.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03I say to them, "If the shoes are gone, mate,
0:37:03 > 0:37:04"you've not got shoes any more.
0:37:04 > 0:37:07"I'm not going around looking for them.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10"If you want to mess around, then you're barefoot. Deal with it.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12"I'll call you Mowgli for the rest of the day."
0:37:14 > 0:37:20Here's a lovely inflatable, which is a part of the whole soft play thing,
0:37:20 > 0:37:22based on...
0:37:22 > 0:37:24Based on the Titanic, that one,
0:37:24 > 0:37:30which I believe just over 1,500 people died in that disaster.
0:37:30 > 0:37:32"On you go, kids."
0:37:33 > 0:37:37Here's a kid who wished he had gone to a soft play centre, I would guess.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41HIS HEAD THUMPS REPEATEDLY
0:37:45 > 0:37:48Aw! He took that very well, though!
0:37:48 > 0:37:51That's actually... That was Boris Johnson as a child.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57APPLAUSE
0:37:57 > 0:38:00It doesn't matter what I think, it's your bonus choice, Romesh,
0:38:00 > 0:38:02it's going into Room 101.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:09 > 0:38:11And that brings us to the end of the show.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14Well done, Romesh, you were the most persuasive guest,
0:38:14 > 0:38:15so you are this week's winner.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Thanks very much, Romesh Ranganathan,
0:38:23 > 0:38:26Judge Rinder, and Lucy Porter,
0:38:26 > 0:38:27and thank you. Goodnight.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE