0:00:22 > 0:00:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:33 > 0:00:37Hello! I'm Frank Skinner, and welcome to Room 101,
0:00:37 > 0:00:40the show where three guests compete to have their biggest bugbears
0:00:40 > 0:00:42banished forever to the dreaded vaults.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45They'll have to argue their case well, because in each round
0:00:45 > 0:00:47only one item can be chosen.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50The final decision is mine. Let's meet this week's guests.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Joining me tonight are acting dynasty Laurence Fox,
0:00:53 > 0:00:55acting suspiciously Rob Delaney,
0:00:55 > 0:00:57and acting like she's actually concerned
0:00:57 > 0:00:59when someone breaks their leg on The Jump, Davina McCall.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Right then, let's get ready to grumble.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09It is the first round,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13and I want to find out what is winding up Davina McCall.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Women who tell other women about their terrible births.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24I'm already annoyed. Yeah?
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Because, honestly, when I was pregnant,
0:01:26 > 0:01:28and especially with my first child,
0:01:28 > 0:01:33and I didn't know about this condition that happens,
0:01:33 > 0:01:35that other woman have the need to tell you -
0:01:35 > 0:01:37but when I was obviously pregnant,
0:01:37 > 0:01:39and it wouldn't necessarily even just be friends of mine,
0:01:39 > 0:01:43it could be complete strangers in a supermarket, out on the streets.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46They'd come up and go, "Oh, you're pregnant.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49"Can I... Lovely, oh! So sweet. When are you due?"
0:01:49 > 0:01:52"About four weeks." "Amazing. I had a TERRIBLE birth.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53"It was terrible!
0:01:53 > 0:01:57"I split from here to here!" LAUGHTER
0:01:57 > 0:01:59"And my waters broke in Sainsbury's,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03"and everybody saw and then they had forceps and..."
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Oh, man. I just think, "Look, I've had my babies,
0:02:06 > 0:02:09"the shop's shut, I'm not going to have any more.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13"I'm over. Tell me, tell me now.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15"I'm ready, don't tell the pregnant ladies.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19"I'll listen. You know, I've got a good ear for that."
0:02:19 > 0:02:21I think it's like getting drunk, though,
0:02:21 > 0:02:24you can't remember how bad the hangover was.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28My partner said to me, "No matter how much pain I'm in,
0:02:28 > 0:02:33"and how much I beg for it, do not let me have an epidural,
0:02:33 > 0:02:35"under any circumstances.' What did you do?
0:02:35 > 0:02:38She said, "If I'm screaming at you, 'I want an epidural,'
0:02:38 > 0:02:40"I need you to say no, because I don't want..."
0:02:40 > 0:02:43And I said, "OK." She said, "You promise me? I said, "I promise."
0:02:43 > 0:02:46So we got there, she was in labour, in quite a bit of pain,
0:02:46 > 0:02:49and she said to me, "I want an epidural now!"
0:02:49 > 0:02:51And the thought of saying...
0:02:51 > 0:02:53LAUGHTER
0:02:55 > 0:02:56"If you think back...
0:02:57 > 0:02:59"..I think we agreed."
0:02:59 > 0:03:03The thought of that never crossed my mind for one second.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07I mean, I've got to say, you know, even though it is painful,
0:03:07 > 0:03:10it is an incredible experience,
0:03:10 > 0:03:12and I actually feel quite sorry for men,
0:03:12 > 0:03:15that they don't get to experience this amazing thing
0:03:15 > 0:03:18of giving birth to a human life. It's incredible.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20You're all right. LAUGHTER
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Plus, you can't tell a pregnant woman, like, you know,
0:03:24 > 0:03:27what you're putting on top of a pizza as you're preparing it
0:03:27 > 0:03:28without them murdering you.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Yes. They're insane. Yes!
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Exactly. So why tell a pregnant woman anything bad at all?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Yeah, exactly.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39Everything's bad and emotional and difficult and scary and...
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Yeah. Yeah. Well, I had that...
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Not everyone is blessed with this,
0:03:43 > 0:03:46but I have actually had that, sort of,
0:03:46 > 0:03:483am drive to the hospital,
0:03:48 > 0:03:50which is very exciting.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52The waters had already gone.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54I was a bit edgy about the upholstery.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59We had a towel. And she was, er...
0:03:59 > 0:04:01honestly, in the passenger seat going...
0:04:01 > 0:04:03HE STRAINS
0:04:03 > 0:04:05And so I'm driving like this. It's like a movie.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08And she's going to me, "You should've gone left!
0:04:08 > 0:04:09"You should've gone left, you idiot!"
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I thought, "This is like the worst sat nav..."
0:04:13 > 0:04:15"..of all time!"
0:04:16 > 0:04:21I was sent back to go, we went down to get the baby checked out,
0:04:21 > 0:04:23he was the wrong way round, and they were like,
0:04:23 > 0:04:26"We've got to get the baby out by emergency Caesarean now.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28"Go, and we'll do it in 20 minutes."
0:04:28 > 0:04:31And I was like, "But we don't have any of the stuff!"
0:04:31 > 0:04:35And I went home with my eldest son, got home,
0:04:35 > 0:04:39and said, "You wait in the car. I'll go inside and get stuff."
0:04:39 > 0:04:40And he didn't wait in the car.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44He went out into the garden, picked up a brick, threw it in the air...
0:04:44 > 0:04:45Oh, my God. ..and it landed on his head.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47LAUGHTER
0:04:47 > 0:04:51So I run outside to go, "Let's get back in the car.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52"What happened to your face?"
0:04:52 > 0:04:54And he's just covered in blood.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58The second child was given birth to in one building,
0:04:58 > 0:05:00and I was getting the other one stitched up in A!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02LAUGHTER
0:05:04 > 0:05:07But respect to him for getting attention on...
0:05:07 > 0:05:09LAUGHTER Yes!
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Our guy who did the Caesarean,
0:05:12 > 0:05:14I was like, the baby came out and nothing happened,
0:05:14 > 0:05:16and I was going, "What's happening, what are you doing?"
0:05:16 > 0:05:19He goes, "It's not very often you get to have a look inside ,
0:05:19 > 0:05:21so I'm just checking out everything's fine."
0:05:22 > 0:05:24So I was like... LAUGHTER
0:05:25 > 0:05:28That belongs inside!
0:05:28 > 0:05:29Put all of that back in there.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Bet it was great getting to wear scrubs.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33I'll never wear scrubs.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36They don't normally let you in on operations, apparently.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Did your wife have any C sections?
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Er, no, they all came out the front door, I guess.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43LAUGHTER Lovely.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46LAUGHTER
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Yeah. I hope there was somebody with them, they haven't just gone off...
0:05:49 > 0:05:50LAUGHTER
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Of course, one can make light of the whole pregnancy thing.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00This couple have sort of tried a basketball theme.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01Look!
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Oh, no!
0:06:03 > 0:06:04No. No?
0:06:04 > 0:06:09No. I like it better than the couple who did the baseball themed one.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Oh!
0:06:12 > 0:06:13No!
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Oh, God!
0:06:15 > 0:06:16I don't think they're together.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18That's from my country.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19That's where I'm from!
0:06:19 > 0:06:20LAUGHTER
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Anyway... what's winding up Rob Delaney?
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Why?
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Because it's not real.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38I mean...
0:06:38 > 0:06:41It's a thing, I know it exists, but it...
0:06:43 > 0:06:47The world is such a filthy, suppurating toilet
0:06:47 > 0:06:50that there's nothing you can do,
0:06:50 > 0:06:54and you don't need to be marketed some crazy thing
0:06:54 > 0:06:58that they invented 20 minutes ago when soap and water does a fine job.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00So, basically,
0:07:00 > 0:07:04the fact that they're trying to make us buy it, carry it around...
0:07:04 > 0:07:06You can put it on your belt loop now.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09..just enrages me, really.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12I have three little kids, a five-year-old, three-year-old,
0:07:12 > 0:07:14and a one-year-old, so I live in filth.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16LAUGHTER
0:07:16 > 0:07:18I don't get any sicker than the next guy.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22My wife is a teacher, so she's around other scummy children.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25LAUGHTER And it's just...
0:07:25 > 0:07:27It's just silly.
0:07:27 > 0:07:28Yes, germs exist, but...
0:07:28 > 0:07:32I was talking to a doctor friend of mine recently.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Usually, when we get sick,
0:07:33 > 0:07:36it's cos of just stuff that's inside our own bodies
0:07:36 > 0:07:38that decides to present itself.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40What, are you going to drink the hand sanitiser?
0:07:40 > 0:07:43So...I say no.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45I'm not saying no to hygiene.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49I'm saying no to the unnecessary, very recent invention
0:07:49 > 0:07:51of like, "Soap II".
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Or whatever.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55It's so silly.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58APPLAUSE
0:08:01 > 0:08:07Apparently your average hand sanitiser is 65% alcohol,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09which is three times more than vodka.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Now, I'm a recovering alcoholic,
0:08:12 > 0:08:15it would be safer for me to have human excrement on my hands.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16LAUGHTER
0:08:19 > 0:08:21And that is certainly the path I've chosen.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25But, also, you know, you get...
0:08:27 > 0:08:30..more healthy the more dirty you let kids be.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33They're all saying nowadays that the reason kids get sick all the time
0:08:33 > 0:08:35is because we're all so clean. We're too clean.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38I mean, the first time we get on the tube with my kids,
0:08:38 > 0:08:39you know, I make them lick a pole.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41LAUGHTER
0:08:41 > 0:08:43So that we don't have to go get jabs.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46What about in hospital?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48What about when you have to go into a hospital ward,
0:08:48 > 0:08:51and they have the hand sanitiser outside the hospital?
0:08:51 > 0:08:55That's fine. When the NHS says, use this, OK, then it's a good idea,
0:08:55 > 0:08:56but when it's your friend Rick
0:08:56 > 0:08:59being like, "Eurgh, I touched a doorknob",
0:08:59 > 0:09:01shut up! LAUGHTER
0:09:02 > 0:09:05APPLAUSE
0:09:06 > 0:09:08I think people are so...
0:09:08 > 0:09:13Like, the handshake, now, has become quite a dangerous manoeuvre.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16You shake hands with someone and then it's like you're carrying
0:09:16 > 0:09:18a radioactive isotope.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20The rest of the day you think what am I going to do with this hand?
0:09:20 > 0:09:24What did they... Didn't they invent a new handshake
0:09:24 > 0:09:26when the Ebola crisis broke out in West Africa,
0:09:26 > 0:09:29they didn't do a handshake, they did something else,
0:09:29 > 0:09:31and now it's kept on.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34They prefer doing that than... Some people do that.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36It's something else, I don't know what it is,
0:09:36 > 0:09:38but they were encouraged not to shake hands, obviously,
0:09:38 > 0:09:40but then they invented a new one and it worked,
0:09:40 > 0:09:41and they kept going with it.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Now no-one shakes hands in West Africa! Oh, that's amazing.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47I'm not sure I'm completely accurate about that...
0:09:47 > 0:09:48LAUGHTER
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Well, this, I mean,
0:09:52 > 0:09:56I think this picture shows that people can be genuinely scared
0:09:56 > 0:09:57of being touched like that.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01LAUGHTER
0:10:01 > 0:10:03APPLAUSE
0:10:08 > 0:10:11To be fair, she was just sheltering under his hair.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13LAUGHTER
0:10:13 > 0:10:14When I got to about 17,
0:10:14 > 0:10:17I had my first suit,
0:10:17 > 0:10:20and I found that when I wore a suit and tie,
0:10:20 > 0:10:23people responded very differently to me.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25I find the same thing when I wear rubber gloves.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29I find people are...
0:10:29 > 0:10:30LAUGHTER
0:10:30 > 0:10:34..uneasy about people in rubber gloves in public places.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38And I don't think that's really an option.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41One thing I tried was, do you remember these...thimbles?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44You used to see them in post offices for money counting.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47So these are very...
0:10:47 > 0:10:49If you wear one of these,
0:10:49 > 0:10:52very good for, like, pelican crossing buttons.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Doorbells. And, also, I get asked to start
0:10:56 > 0:10:59a lot of elaborate domino effect demonstrations.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02LAUGHTER
0:11:02 > 0:11:06And you never know who's been pushing those dominoes.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08So I would, I'd recommend these.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11I'm a Catholic, so this is it for me.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17But...
0:11:17 > 0:11:19they are ribbed for extra stimulation.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I have a special method for urinals,
0:11:24 > 0:11:27because I am quite sensitive about cleanliness.
0:11:27 > 0:11:32And I used to live with a laboratory scientist,
0:11:32 > 0:11:34and this is what they recommended.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37And I have to say,
0:11:37 > 0:11:38it does work.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40It's cumbersome,
0:11:40 > 0:11:42but it gives you real confidence.
0:11:45 > 0:11:50LAUGHTER
0:11:50 > 0:11:52APPLAUSE
0:11:58 > 0:12:00You've got to warm the gloves up a bit.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06But I find myself standing at the urinal like this, you know.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12It's a good thing.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14AUDIENCE MEMBER: How much is it?
0:12:14 > 0:12:15800 quid, that cost.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17LAUGHTER
0:12:18 > 0:12:20APPLAUSE
0:12:20 > 0:12:23OK. So what's winding up Laurence?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29BOOING AND APPLAUSE Cats!
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Yeah. And I really don't mind offending
0:12:35 > 0:12:38half of the population of this country. I hate cats.
0:12:39 > 0:12:44My first memory in life is my grandmother saying to me,
0:12:44 > 0:12:46"Don't go near the cat."
0:12:46 > 0:12:48My second memory in life
0:12:48 > 0:12:50is the blood gushing out of my mouth.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52I don't like them.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55I think they all look at us like they rule the world.
0:12:57 > 0:12:58I'm scared of them.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00I hate them.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02LAUGHTER
0:13:02 > 0:13:04The last time I saw a cat, I have a scar,
0:13:04 > 0:13:07and it was eight months ago, the last cat I stroked.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09I hate them. Hate them!
0:13:09 > 0:13:11I like dogs. Dogs listen.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Dogs are your friend. Dogs look at you and go,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15"Hey, man, I missed you when you were at work."
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Cats wouldn't do that.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Horrible things.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Can I say that cats rarely tear human beings to pieces,
0:13:22 > 0:13:25which is one of the dog's minus points.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29I would say. What, a dog...?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31A dog will attack a human.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33No, dogs just get bad press.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35That's just, you know, if cats were bigger, they'd kill.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Would you go and have a lie down with a tiger?
0:13:38 > 0:13:40I think tigers have proved that. LAUGHTER
0:13:42 > 0:13:44What do they do that's good?
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Dogs can walk people around when you're blind,
0:13:46 > 0:13:50dogs can, you know, my dogs, I use as burglar alarms.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Because they're cheaper.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55What do cats do? You're right, though,
0:13:55 > 0:13:58a guide cat for the blind would be rubbish.
0:13:58 > 0:13:59Guide cat!
0:13:59 > 0:14:03There'd be some bloke being dragged across gardens and over fences.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Firemen having to get a blind person out of a tree.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11This is a cat that...
0:14:12 > 0:14:16..obviously had some sort of ill fortune previously.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21LAUGHTER
0:14:21 > 0:14:24I think there'll be goldfish watching this show thinking,
0:14:24 > 0:14:25"But cats always look like that."
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Do you know the thing that cats are scared of cucumbers?
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Are they?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Goes home, buys cucumber.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35Yeah, they are.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37That is an internet theory,
0:14:37 > 0:14:39that they are scared of cucumbers.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40In what way? How?
0:14:40 > 0:14:41I'll give you an example.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44This is Are Cats Scared Of Cucumbers?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46This is the evidence.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53LAUGHTER
0:15:03 > 0:15:04Case closed. Oh, my God!
0:15:06 > 0:15:08So we come to the end of that round.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12I certainly am not keen on people
0:15:12 > 0:15:14telling their terrible birth stories,
0:15:14 > 0:15:17but I do think that that is an urge.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19I mean, this is why we watch One Born Every Minute.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21It's one that must be suppressed. Yes.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Hand sanitiser I have used.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28I would be a hypocrite, I think, to put it in.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31I haven't quite got over the idea
0:15:31 > 0:15:34that you can wash your hands without a tap.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36It just seems like magic to me.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Cats, however, are horrible.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40I'm putting them into Room 101. Yeah!
0:15:40 > 0:15:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:41 > 0:15:42CAT SNARLS
0:15:48 > 0:15:49Well done. Well done. Bravo.
0:15:52 > 0:15:57Onto the next round, and it's Davina's turn to have a whinge.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04People who order starters.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05APPLAUSE Thank you.
0:16:05 > 0:16:06Yes!
0:16:06 > 0:16:09There's some grumbling, there's some grumbling going on,
0:16:09 > 0:16:12I knew it could possibly be controversial.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15But... You can spot the people who definitely do.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19My thing is that...
0:16:21 > 0:16:24..firstly, if you go out for dinner,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27portions are so massive
0:16:27 > 0:16:30you don't really need a starter and a main course,
0:16:30 > 0:16:33and if somebody is eating with me,
0:16:33 > 0:16:34I will not order a starter.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I will just have a main course,
0:16:36 > 0:16:38and then they go, "Are you having a starter?"
0:16:38 > 0:16:41And I go... This is actually my husband.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44..and I go, "No, I'm not going to have a starter.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46"So you're not going to have a starter, are you?"
0:16:46 > 0:16:48And he'll go, "I'm just going to have...
0:16:48 > 0:16:51"I think I am, actually. I'm going to have this little starter here.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54"This one." And I go, "Please don't have a starter, because literally,
0:16:54 > 0:16:56"I will eat your arm in a minute if I don't get some food.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58"And they're not going to bring out the main course,
0:16:58 > 0:17:01"they're not going to be cooking it until you've finished your starter."
0:17:01 > 0:17:03And he's like, "No, no, they will be.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05"They'll be cooking it while I'm eating."
0:17:05 > 0:17:07I say, "No, you've never worked in a restaurant.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08"I worked in a restaurant for two years.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11"They're waiting to clear the table before they start the starter."
0:17:11 > 0:17:13And by the time he's finished his starter
0:17:13 > 0:17:16I've demolished the breadbasket, I hate myself.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18I hate myself, and I'm no longer hungry.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23So people who order starters are going in Room 101, right now.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Hear, hear. Thank you, Laurence.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28It would be a less popular show if we did it like that.
0:17:30 > 0:17:35I have do confess to forcing someone to, saying to the waiter,
0:17:35 > 0:17:37"Can you bring them both at the same time, please?
0:17:37 > 0:17:40"Bring them both at the same time, please." That's what I do!
0:17:40 > 0:17:41"No, do have a starter, do have a starter,
0:17:41 > 0:17:43"we'd like them both at the same time,
0:17:43 > 0:17:45"everything at the same time, now, please. Thank you, please.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48"Very, very hungry." I do that! "Please bring it now."
0:17:48 > 0:17:50And that brings out the worst in me.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52The hanger! The hanger!
0:17:52 > 0:17:56When you've got the hanger, don't mess with me.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Bread kills it. And chips kill it as well.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02Because then, also, your kids, I've been on holiday with the kids,
0:18:02 > 0:18:05and they only eat bread and chips, and then you wonder,
0:18:05 > 0:18:07when was the last time the kids went to the toilet?
0:18:11 > 0:18:13It was Monday, wasn't it?
0:18:13 > 0:18:14It was Monday.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17What I don't like about my fellow contestants
0:18:17 > 0:18:19is that if you added the two of them together
0:18:19 > 0:18:21they'd weigh a little less than me.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Because I'm good at eating.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28I want the starter. I want the main.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30I want a side or two, then I want a dessert.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Then I'll finish before you cos I eat like a hoover,
0:18:33 > 0:18:36and then I'm going to get mad at you if you continue to eat your food
0:18:36 > 0:18:37without offering it to me.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40That's where I'm at.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:46 > 0:18:50I think I agree with you, but I always order a starter.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Do you? Because I'm a little bit frightened of waiters.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59And I find if a waiter, if I order a main course,
0:18:59 > 0:19:02say, "I'll have the chilli con carne, please."
0:19:02 > 0:19:05And he'll say, "Do you want a starter?"
0:19:05 > 0:19:07And I'll go, "No, I won't have a starter."
0:19:07 > 0:19:08And they go... Oh, they do!
0:19:08 > 0:19:10"Oh!" They do!
0:19:10 > 0:19:11I can't cope with that.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14I don't know if they're on commission or what?
0:19:14 > 0:19:16They have to shift the prawn cocktail.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Exactly.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22I do get very intimidated, I think, still, in posh restaurants.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24The first time I ever went to a posh restaurant
0:19:24 > 0:19:27was a place called Christopher's in Covent Garden.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I ordered steak tartare and said, "Could I have it well done?"
0:19:32 > 0:19:33LAUGHTER
0:19:36 > 0:19:39And those of you who didn't get that, that's where I was.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42I had no idea.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45And people, they didn't just laugh on my table,
0:19:45 > 0:19:47people on other tables were laughing.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50If I'm out at a restaurant with my wife
0:19:50 > 0:19:54and I'm getting the sense that maybe we might want to retire... Uh-huh.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56see what happens, when we get home at night,
0:19:56 > 0:19:59I can eat like a crisp and then that's it,
0:19:59 > 0:20:01because if I have a full meal
0:20:01 > 0:20:04and then she like goes to kiss I'm like get away from me!
0:20:04 > 0:20:07I can't engage in any kind of sexual activity
0:20:07 > 0:20:10if I have had more than like 15 calories because I just go,
0:20:10 > 0:20:13I immediately fall asleep on top of her, end of story.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15LAUGHTER
0:20:15 > 0:20:17If I think that there may be sexual activity
0:20:17 > 0:20:19I can have like a couple granules of sugar,
0:20:19 > 0:20:21and maybe lick a mint and then that's it.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27I went to an old people's restaurant.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Everything was themed old people's,
0:20:29 > 0:20:32everything was liquidised, and there was lots of cake.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35It was called NanGoes.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39APPLAUSE
0:20:44 > 0:20:47OK, and, so, what's upsetting Rob?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58That's a good pet hate, I must say.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00What have you got against them, Rob?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Because I think...
0:21:02 > 0:21:05I listen to guitar music all day, every day,
0:21:05 > 0:21:11and everybody loves a guitar, but I think six strings is usually enough.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Whenever it's 12 strings,
0:21:13 > 0:21:19it's only for singing about fairies and a county fair and a maiden,
0:21:19 > 0:21:21ad you're accompanied by bells.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23I think, not that they shouldn't exist,
0:21:23 > 0:21:25but if you're going to use one
0:21:25 > 0:21:29I think you should have to apply for a special licence,
0:21:29 > 0:21:32because whenever I see somebody playing one, you know
0:21:32 > 0:21:34"Who do you think you are, you minstrel?"
0:21:34 > 0:21:36It's just...
0:21:36 > 0:21:37Why do you need...
0:21:37 > 0:21:40Justify your use of those extra...
0:21:41 > 0:21:45..six, silly little dingly, dangly... No.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47So, they make me angry.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52I can see the studio audience shares my anger.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54LAUGHTER
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I mean, if you're Jimmy Page,
0:21:56 > 0:21:59singing a Led Zeppelin song about hobbits,
0:21:59 > 0:22:01you need 12 strings.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03But if you're my roommate, you don't need...
0:22:03 > 0:22:06You don't need any strings, go away.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09There'll be people are watching this who aren't really aware of
0:22:10 > 0:22:14..of the 12 string guitar, I have one with me.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17So this is a 12 string guitar, and it does sound...
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Oh, my God, he's going to play for us. I'm not going to play anything,
0:22:20 > 0:22:24because I think there is far too many strings.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Oh, he agrees.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28Just...
0:22:28 > 0:22:30STRUMS GUITAR
0:22:32 > 0:22:34NASALLY: # Well, I was wandering... #
0:22:34 > 0:22:35LAUGHTER
0:22:36 > 0:22:38What? You can't...
0:22:38 > 0:22:40There's that lovely sort of a...
0:22:41 > 0:22:44They have that lovely tuning, the Nashville tuning,
0:22:44 > 0:22:46using all the high strings of the 12 string,
0:22:46 > 0:22:48they put it on a six string.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51So you can play a six string with the high 12 string strings
0:22:51 > 0:22:53and it sounds gorgeous with...
0:22:53 > 0:22:55I don't know what you're talking about. No.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Can you play each individual string individually,
0:22:59 > 0:23:01or do you play two at a time?
0:23:01 > 0:23:06Well, you can, you can play each individual string...
0:23:06 > 0:23:08but only like this.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24It's also less practical in urinals.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30I should say, that wasn't my guitar, we borrowed it.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31So...
0:23:34 > 0:23:37APPLAUSE
0:23:39 > 0:23:42When I see someone with an acoustic guitar,
0:23:42 > 0:23:44I always think, "Oh, look at him,
0:23:44 > 0:23:45"off to ruin someone's party."
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Do you not feel that?
0:23:50 > 0:23:51Absolutely. Yeah.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55There's something really cool about having a classical instrument,
0:23:55 > 0:23:58but everybody's got an acoustic guitar, haven't they?
0:23:58 > 0:23:59Well, they're quite easy to play, aren't they?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02You can learn it very quickly. So everyone can play it.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05And yeah, there's definitely been some parties ruined by it.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07You? By me.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11It's... It is a bit of a strange instrument.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14I can think of a stranger one.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16This is...
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Well, I won't tell you what it's called, see if you can guess.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24HIGH-PITCHED ELECTRONIC HUM
0:24:27 > 0:24:30PLAYING VOCALISE BY RACHMANINOV
0:24:48 > 0:24:50That's actually called a badgermin.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52LAUGHTER
0:24:52 > 0:24:54So it's a theremin made out of a dead badger.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58What do you think? I didn't like...
0:24:58 > 0:25:00I didn't like the look on the guy's face playing it.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03I think that is the conventional expression to take
0:25:03 > 0:25:05when you're playing a badgermin.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10OK. What's upsetting Laurence Fox?
0:25:15 > 0:25:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Cyclists in Lycra!
0:25:21 > 0:25:25I'd like to differentiate between Boris bike users,
0:25:25 > 0:25:27and people that have those lovely bikes,
0:25:27 > 0:25:29you know, the really expensive ones that...
0:25:30 > 0:25:31..are not racers.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Again, it's about me, selfishly.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38But I was crossing the road to go to the theatre
0:25:38 > 0:25:41between a matinee and an evening performance of a show,
0:25:41 > 0:25:44and it was the only time I got to hang out with my eldest son,
0:25:44 > 0:25:45at that point. And I was crossing the road,
0:25:45 > 0:25:49and this dude dressed like a fat Lance Armstrong...
0:25:49 > 0:25:50LAUGHTER
0:25:50 > 0:25:53..comes caning across the road.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55And nearly took his head off, really.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57You know, I hate them all.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00The ones that dress like they're in the Tour de France.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02I call them two-wheeled road fascists.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07And I hate them from the bottom of my heart.
0:26:07 > 0:26:08DAVINA LAUGHS
0:26:10 > 0:26:13I was driving to work, with my driver.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16I work in Oxford a lot, I have worked in Oxford a lot
0:26:16 > 0:26:18and they're lovely cyclists, but then when you leave Oxford,
0:26:18 > 0:26:20you've got the... HE STRAINS
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Bottles of water sticking out of everything.
0:26:22 > 0:26:23LAUGHTER
0:26:23 > 0:26:26You know, you're just like, stop it! You know?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28And this guy came round the car,
0:26:28 > 0:26:30because obviously he can, you know,
0:26:30 > 0:26:33why should he do what everyone else does on the road?
0:26:33 > 0:26:35And he knocked my, the guy who was driving me,
0:26:35 > 0:26:38called Anthony's wing mirror, just like that,
0:26:38 > 0:26:40boosh, sideways, like that.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43So Anthony went... "Er... 'Scuse me, Lawrence."
0:26:43 > 0:26:45For a second, and he got out of the car and he went over
0:26:45 > 0:26:47and he said you just knocked my wing mirror.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49And he said, well, you were too close to the curb.
0:26:49 > 0:26:50And he went, "Oh, yeah?"
0:26:50 > 0:26:53and he took his bike and he just threw it over a fence.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55LAUGHTER
0:26:55 > 0:26:58OK. I'd like to add a caveat.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00OK. Could you possibly say...
0:27:02 > 0:27:04..two-wheeled fascists in cities?
0:27:05 > 0:27:08No, because when I lived in the countryside,
0:27:08 > 0:27:09on a Saturday morning...
0:27:09 > 0:27:12This is going to sound even more posh.
0:27:12 > 0:27:13Sorry.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14But I had a horse, right.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17I had a horse. LAUGHTER
0:27:17 > 0:27:20I don't care. I don't mind admitting it, I had a horse.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22And I would take my horse...
0:27:22 > 0:27:24He was a bit nuts, to be fair, he had issues.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27..and I would take my horse up the road.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31And these fascists would come in their droves,
0:27:31 > 0:27:32like, three abreast,
0:27:32 > 0:27:34racing each other in some imaginary race
0:27:34 > 0:27:36that they'd invented that morning.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40I love people who take pride and love in their bikes,
0:27:40 > 0:27:42and they sedately and serenely go about,
0:27:42 > 0:27:44But not these dudes.
0:27:44 > 0:27:45Seriously.
0:27:45 > 0:27:46You know, have sex.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48LAUGHTER
0:27:48 > 0:27:51You don't need to cycle.
0:27:51 > 0:27:52It's fine.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Something happened, didn't it, with the bicycle?
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Because when I was a young man,
0:27:57 > 0:28:03the bicycle was very much the home of gentle, kind...
0:28:03 > 0:28:04Baskets. ..bright people.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08This is Philip Larkin, one of our great poets.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Now, this is what cycling used to be like.
0:28:11 > 0:28:17'And whenever I saw a church, I used to stop and...look inside.
0:28:17 > 0:28:18'It was a nice excuse for stopping.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21'I like going into them. I know very little about them,
0:28:21 > 0:28:26'but I always welcome the feeling I have going into a church.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29'And in the end I began to try to write about it.'
0:28:31 > 0:28:34That's what cyclists used to be like.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Lovely, gentle people.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38And then, I'll tell you what happened,
0:28:38 > 0:28:39Team GB.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Oh, really? Yes, and all those hairy guys
0:28:44 > 0:28:46that used to pump iron at the weekend thought "Cycling!
0:28:46 > 0:28:49"That looks like a real macho activity!"
0:28:50 > 0:28:54And then you see these people, as you say,
0:28:54 > 0:28:57if someone's cycling 50 miles, I don't mind them wearing Lycra,
0:28:57 > 0:29:00but you see people going to work,
0:29:00 > 0:29:02and you know, in their head,
0:29:02 > 0:29:03they're in the velodrome.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05LAUGHTER
0:29:05 > 0:29:08I used to do horse riding in North Finchley,
0:29:08 > 0:29:09and I must admit,
0:29:09 > 0:29:12when I was on the horse...
0:29:12 > 0:29:14I was a big fan of Westerns,
0:29:14 > 0:29:16and in my head all I could hear was...
0:29:16 > 0:29:18MUSIC: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Theme Tune
0:29:21 > 0:29:24OK, which is fine, so I fantasise,
0:29:24 > 0:29:27as these men fantasise about being in big races.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29But I didn't dress up.
0:29:29 > 0:29:30I didn't wear a cowboy outfit.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33But that's practicality. It's not, it's fancy dress.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35It is practicality. Not with all the garb on.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38Not with the, like, yellow jerseys.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Look, I don't mind watching a bit of Formula 1,
0:29:40 > 0:29:44but when I drive to work I tend not to wear a fireproof jumpsuit...
0:29:44 > 0:29:46LAUGHTER
0:29:46 > 0:29:48..and a full-face crash helmet. APPLAUSE
0:29:48 > 0:29:51But if you were in a Formula 1 race car you would.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54Have you ever seen the naked bike ride...? No!
0:29:54 > 0:29:57What?! I think we're going to see it now.
0:29:57 > 0:29:58Somebody said yes. What? Where is this?
0:29:58 > 0:30:01I saw it, this is a picture of the naked bike ride.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03Oh, my God!
0:30:03 > 0:30:04This is a thing?
0:30:04 > 0:30:06That's the guy playing the badger thing!
0:30:06 > 0:30:07LAUGHTER
0:30:09 > 0:30:12And hold on! There's the badger... Oh, no.
0:30:12 > 0:30:14LAUGHTER
0:30:14 > 0:30:15Where is that?
0:30:15 > 0:30:18Well, I saw them going across Waterloo Bridge... Stop it!
0:30:18 > 0:30:21It's actually a beautiful sight.
0:30:21 > 0:30:25There's all shapes and sizes and ages, it really symbolised freedom,
0:30:25 > 0:30:28I thought. None of them on racers though, are they?
0:30:28 > 0:30:30But there was a guy with his family standing behind me.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33I was looking at them thinking, this is brilliant.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36There was a guy with his family, and I heard him say, "Weirdos."
0:30:37 > 0:30:40And I thought, this is what life is all about.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43You have to decide whether you're with the naked bike riders,
0:30:43 > 0:30:45or whether you're with that bloke.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47And I'm with the naked bike riders. Yeah.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50APPLAUSE
0:30:50 > 0:30:52I don't think I can put in 12 string guitars,
0:30:52 > 0:30:55cos although they are, let's say, cluttered,
0:30:55 > 0:30:58people do make them sound nice, as well.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00And I like a bit of wizard...
0:31:01 > 0:31:03..riding a unicorn type beauty.
0:31:03 > 0:31:07I think that's... That's its proper application, I'm just saying,
0:31:07 > 0:31:08you know, people use them willy-nilly.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10That's just wasteful.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14I wouldn't want to lose that genre,
0:31:14 > 0:31:15wizard rock.
0:31:17 > 0:31:21I do understand the starters thing,
0:31:21 > 0:31:24I think it is a bit of a waste of time, really.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26It just makes you leave your main course.
0:31:26 > 0:31:30But, often, they are better than main courses across the world.
0:31:30 > 0:31:35And if I accidentally put poppadoms into Room 101,
0:31:35 > 0:31:37I don't know what I'd do with myself.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39LAUGHTER
0:31:39 > 0:31:44I really have a problem with these cyclists in Lycra
0:31:44 > 0:31:47turning cycling into a butch activity
0:31:47 > 0:31:51instead of a beautiful, Philip Larkin type activity.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55So you know what, I am going to put cyclists in Lycra, brackets male,
0:31:55 > 0:31:57into Room 101.
0:31:57 > 0:31:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Well done.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07I think we've just got time to do a bonus choice,
0:32:07 > 0:32:09so let's see what Davina goes for.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15Argh!
0:32:15 > 0:32:17It's not just in dresses, actually, but loops in dresses,
0:32:17 > 0:32:20loops in tops, loops in...
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Loops in general. Any kind of loop.
0:32:22 > 0:32:23Do you think you could explain this or...
0:32:23 > 0:32:25There's some men looking puzzled.
0:32:25 > 0:32:26OK, so... LAUGHTER
0:32:26 > 0:32:28I would imagine that every man in this room would know
0:32:28 > 0:32:32what I'm talking about because at some point a lady friend of yours
0:32:32 > 0:32:35will have had some weird little bit of material sticking out here,
0:32:35 > 0:32:36and you'll think...
0:32:36 > 0:32:39Is that a design feature or... Or what is that?
0:32:39 > 0:32:40Why has she got that?
0:32:40 > 0:32:44And I, too, for a while thought, like, am I supposed to keep them in,
0:32:44 > 0:32:47and just sort of keep them?
0:32:47 > 0:32:48And they are really annoying.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51They stick out everywhere, and what for?
0:32:51 > 0:32:54The other day, I got a top, and it had like a tiny loop.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57I thought, what's the point in that, just hang it on the flipping hanger!
0:32:57 > 0:32:59Or fold it!
0:32:59 > 0:33:01Just fold it somewhere.
0:33:01 > 0:33:03And, even worse, OK,
0:33:03 > 0:33:08is the top with the looser neck which has the one piece of string
0:33:08 > 0:33:11that attaches both sides of the loose neck
0:33:11 > 0:33:13so in the shop it doesn't fall off the hangar.
0:33:13 > 0:33:17And then some poor ladies, they think that it's a design feature.
0:33:17 > 0:33:18It is not a design feature!
0:33:18 > 0:33:21It's supposed to fall off your shoulder like that,
0:33:21 > 0:33:23and you're supposed to cut them out!
0:33:23 > 0:33:25You're supposed to cut them out? They are supposed to be cut out.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29Do not keep the loop, they just come out everywhere.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31Can I just have a show of hands, then?
0:33:31 > 0:33:35How many women here are aware of these loops on their clothes?
0:33:35 > 0:33:37Oh!
0:33:37 > 0:33:39Has anybody got loops in now?
0:33:39 > 0:33:40It's a modern disease. Still, now?
0:33:40 > 0:33:44Can I ask how many people remove, how many of you remove them?
0:33:44 > 0:33:45Oh.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47Well, most people. See, it's a thing.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49Just don't put them, just don't put them,
0:33:49 > 0:33:50I don't want them in!
0:33:50 > 0:33:54How many of you have say run for a bus with your ribbons flowing...
0:33:54 > 0:33:56LAUGHTER
0:33:56 > 0:34:00..and pulled over an entire sunglasses display?
0:34:00 > 0:34:02LAUGHTER
0:34:03 > 0:34:04Four?!
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Almost worth a shot.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10We've got a picture of you in a posh frock.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12Oh, my God, have I got the loop?
0:34:13 > 0:34:14Ah, there's no loops there.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16Now, how do you hang that up?
0:34:16 > 0:34:18LAUGHTER
0:34:20 > 0:34:23Actually, God, that was a funny dress. That was...
0:34:23 > 0:34:26hilarious. Are you able to e-mail that to me?
0:34:26 > 0:34:27LAUGHTER
0:34:28 > 0:34:30I loved that dress.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32Yes, you don't...
0:34:32 > 0:34:34You just sort of fold it, I think.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36Are they new? They're quite new.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Is it something that's happened recently? Yes.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40Have you not seen them?
0:34:40 > 0:34:41I know nothing about anything.
0:34:41 > 0:34:43LAUGHTER
0:34:43 > 0:34:45That simply isn't true. But I don't know, I certainly...
0:34:45 > 0:34:46This was brand-new to me.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49Have you not seen this thing happening on people ever?
0:34:49 > 0:34:51I'm not really looking for that.
0:34:51 > 0:34:53Now that I've opened your eyes to it, Lawrence,
0:34:53 > 0:34:55you will see it everywhere.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57Oh, this is it, is it? Argh!
0:34:57 > 0:34:59So, these. Oh, you would keep it,
0:34:59 > 0:35:01I'd keep it, I'd be terrified of cutting that off.
0:35:01 > 0:35:02Yeah, but then you put the dress on,
0:35:02 > 0:35:04and they're sticking out of it, so ugly.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06And what's even worse is sometimes they dangle out
0:35:06 > 0:35:08from like underneath the armpit, they're sticking out.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10But why don't they make an EU directive...
0:35:10 > 0:35:12Oh, no, were not in the EU any more.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14Why don't they make some sort of directive
0:35:14 > 0:35:16that says this is not part of the costume?
0:35:16 > 0:35:18Yeah, but I find that if you remove them...
0:35:18 > 0:35:20AIR WHOOSHES OUT
0:35:20 > 0:35:22LAUGHTER
0:35:24 > 0:35:26APPLAUSE
0:35:29 > 0:35:32This has happened to so many women I know.
0:35:33 > 0:35:34Yeah, so...
0:35:36 > 0:35:37LAUGHTER
0:35:38 > 0:35:40I don't know if you realise
0:35:40 > 0:35:43how much of a mystery things like this are two blokes.
0:35:44 > 0:35:48Anything that suggests at the inner workings of women's costumes,
0:35:48 > 0:35:50I mean, a little glimpse of bra strap to me
0:35:50 > 0:35:51is still a special moment.
0:35:53 > 0:35:57Even when, like, when you see a bedraggled sticking plaster
0:35:57 > 0:35:58on a red raw ankle.
0:35:58 > 0:36:03I think, "Oh, that's a little bit behind-the-scenes I've seen there."
0:36:03 > 0:36:04I love all that.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08So I actually quite like to see a mysterious ribbon.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10Are you aware of this style of shirt?
0:36:12 > 0:36:17With the strange pleat and loop on the back?
0:36:17 > 0:36:19AUDIENCE: Yes. Yes. This thing? Yes.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22What's that for? What is that? Yeah, I don't...
0:36:22 > 0:36:23Isn't that so you...
0:36:23 > 0:36:26You put the hanger through it when you travel with it, no?
0:36:26 > 0:36:29How... How does that work? I don't know, I just made that up. Oh.
0:36:29 > 0:36:30You put the hanger through it?
0:36:30 > 0:36:32Hold on, I have a spare hanger here.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34So the hanger goes through here...
0:36:35 > 0:36:37If you're going to stick it...
0:36:37 > 0:36:38No, that makes no sense at all!
0:36:38 > 0:36:40No. LAUGHTER
0:36:40 > 0:36:41It was a massive lie!
0:36:41 > 0:36:46Is it so as a wife you can just take your finger in it and go, "No!"
0:36:46 > 0:36:47LAUGHTER
0:36:47 > 0:36:50APPLAUSE
0:36:52 > 0:36:55That's great! Or if you live with Abu Hamza.
0:36:59 > 0:37:01God, I haven't heard his name for a long time.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03LAUGHTER
0:37:03 > 0:37:04I wonder what he's doing now?
0:37:04 > 0:37:06LAUGHTER
0:37:06 > 0:37:08Hopefully not watching this!
0:37:11 > 0:37:13I think that the... What it...
0:37:13 > 0:37:15The label,
0:37:15 > 0:37:20the whole label thing is a problem to me. Yeah.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23They've got bigger and bigger, like,
0:37:23 > 0:37:26I know they're washing instructions and stuff, but honestly...
0:37:26 > 0:37:29But inside on a side of something? Yeah. Yeah, so annoying.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32Or on a tiny, tiny pair of knickers,
0:37:32 > 0:37:34you'll get a label... Yes.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36..which means at a picnic,
0:37:36 > 0:37:38they can sit on the label.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43What about this lovely shot of a label sticking out?
0:37:45 > 0:37:47LAUGHTER
0:37:47 > 0:37:48What's the caption?
0:37:50 > 0:37:52Should have gone to NeckShavers.
0:37:52 > 0:37:53LAUGHTER
0:37:53 > 0:37:55APPLAUSE
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Still, the fact is, it's your bonus choice, Davina,
0:37:59 > 0:38:02and so it shall go into Room 101.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04Yes! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:07 > 0:38:09And that brings us to the end of the show.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Well done, Laurence, you were the most persuasive guest,
0:38:11 > 0:38:13so you are this week's winner.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15Yay! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:18 > 0:38:21And thanks very much, Rob Delaney,
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Davina McCall, and Laurence Fox.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25And thank you! Goodnight.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:54 > 0:38:56Welcome to The Mash Report!
0:38:56 > 0:38:59Madonna has launched her own range of booted orphans.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01Donald Trump is a legend!
0:39:01 > 0:39:05Let's come at it from another angle. He might be the Messiah. Come on!
0:39:05 > 0:39:06Join me, Nish Kumar,
0:39:06 > 0:39:10for BBC Two's brand-new topical comedy show.