0:00:32 > 0:00:36Hello, I'm Frank Skinner, and welcome to Room 101,
0:00:36 > 0:00:39the show where three guests compete
0:00:39 > 0:00:43to get their pet hates exiled for ever to the dark vault.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Joining me tonight are comedian Miranda Hart,
0:00:45 > 0:00:48broadcaster John Craven and presenter Reggie Yates.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58So, let's have our first category.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06It's food and drink. OK.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09So, what doesn't Miranda like about food and drink?
0:01:14 > 0:01:18I don't like fruit or veg out of context.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26So you might look at this and you think, "A banana in a hot dog?
0:01:26 > 0:01:30"That's ridiculous". Well, that is no more ridiculous...
0:01:30 > 0:01:33In fact, that's slightly less ridiculous to me
0:01:33 > 0:01:36than a pineapple, an exotic fruit, on a pizza.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40A pineapple has no place mucking about with ham...
0:01:40 > 0:01:44APPLAUSE Thank you! ..tomato and dough. It's an exotic fruit.
0:01:44 > 0:01:49So I'd like to focus on vegetables out of context, if I may, Sir Frank.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53- OK.- And I'll start you off... You've just been knighted.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55A little bit premature.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58This goes out after the New Year Honours list.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04I will firstly give you the carrot cake.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08Unacceptable. A carrot in a cake.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Either eat vegetables, or eat a cake.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14I think vegetables are getting very cocky and they're infiltrating,
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- they're infiltrating fun foods.- Yes.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20I think you should only eat vegetables
0:02:20 > 0:02:22if they're in a scenario where you could pour gravy on them.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Would you pour gravy on a cake?
0:02:24 > 0:02:27No, you'd look, at best, a loon. Stop it.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- And then now we're getting beetroot cake.- Mmm.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Beetroot in a cake?
0:02:33 > 0:02:36And then people say, "Oh, but it's a sugar replacement."
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Well, don't have cake, then!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41What about if they're tasty?
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Like, a carrot cake is quite tasty.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44It's a nice pudding.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47But it's got carrot in it.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48LAUGHTER
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I admit it's the shock of seeing something where it ought not to be.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I mean, people talk about broken Britain.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56I personally think the day Britain broke
0:02:56 > 0:02:59was when someone put a piece of lime in the top of a beer bottle.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Yes. Well, there you go.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- That is a fruit out of context. - Yeah. Why is it there?
0:03:03 > 0:03:07No. I don't even like a raisin in a Garibaldi. There, I said it.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Wow. I'm sorry. I think you've gone too far.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13No.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15- I like a pineapple in a pizza. - Ooh.- Do you?- Yeah.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17I can't look at you, John.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19LAUGHTER
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I never thought I'd say that to John Craven.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28I make myself, um, cheese and Brussels sprout sandwiches.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30AUDIENCE: Ugh!
0:03:30 > 0:03:31Have you tried them?
0:03:32 > 0:03:37They're lovely because the heat of the sprout melts the cheese and er...
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- Are you serious? - I'm absolutely serious.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40In bread, like in a roll?
0:03:40 > 0:03:44Yeah, a sandwich. You've heard of the concept of the sandwich.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Not with Brussels sprouts in it, Frank.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51I don't think I've gone exotic here.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53OK. Well, you argue your case well.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57I'm going to see what John Craven doesn't like about food and drink.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Nothing good can be said about a marrow.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- Well, we'll see.- It is tasteless,
0:04:12 > 0:04:16it's got an awful, soggy texture that makes me want to choke.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20Marrow serves no useful purpose whatsoever,
0:04:20 > 0:04:25apart from maybe being the biggest vegetable anybody can grow, often.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29- You know, I think the biggest marrow ever was about eight stone.- Yeah?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31So that's fine. You know, grow it for a bit of fun,
0:04:31 > 0:04:33and then throw it away. Don't eat it.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39- I'm guessing, John, that you have judged a giant marrow contest in your time.- I have.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40I knew you had.
0:04:40 > 0:04:45What I do like about a marrow is the fact that, as you say, it's so dull,
0:04:45 > 0:04:49so that when it's stuffed, it really is just an edible bowl.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54- That's right.- It's like celery. Celery is an edible spoon.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57You use it as a big spoon,
0:04:57 > 0:04:59- don't you, to eat cottage cheese, say.- Yeah.
0:04:59 > 0:05:04If you eat it on its own, it's got that horrible string...
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Marrow, you mean?
0:05:06 > 0:05:07It's like eating a violin.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Nothing anybody can say will convince me
0:05:12 > 0:05:15that marrow should not be in Room 101.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- OK. Well, blimey, you've argued that very strongly.- Gosh.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21You see, one thing I would say about it is
0:05:21 > 0:05:23vegetables of a certain shape
0:05:23 > 0:05:26are absolutely essential to British comedy.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34You know, the marrow, the cucumber, for some of us, the courgette.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36LAUGHTER
0:05:37 > 0:05:39It features in some of the...
0:05:39 > 0:05:42There's an artistic use of, er, a vegetable.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46This, for example. This is the John Craven marrow.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51That's amazing.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54APPLAUSE
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Well, how about that?
0:06:00 > 0:06:02You can have that, John.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Well, thank you, Frank.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08- We have, um... Do you know who Snoop Dogg is?- No.- OK.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11I would have been more upset had he said yes.
0:06:11 > 0:06:16- Yeah. Snoop Dogg is one of them rappers.- Ah.- Yeah.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17No, I wouldn't know.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20And, um, this is an amazing story.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24A man grew the heaviest swede in the world,
0:06:24 > 0:06:28and he got a message via YouTube from Snoop Dogg, asking for,
0:06:28 > 0:06:31and I quote, "Advice on how to grow vegetation."
0:06:35 > 0:06:40When he was over here, Snoop Dogg, he invited this guy to a gig
0:06:40 > 0:06:42and this is what he had to say.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46- So, Snoop heard about your talent, didn't he?- Yes, yes.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49And, um, he kind of got in touch over YouTube.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51What did you think when you heard that message?
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Bit strange, but, er, it's not my type of scene,
0:06:54 > 0:06:56so I did turn the ticket down,
0:06:56 > 0:06:58but in the end we went to the booking office
0:06:58 > 0:07:00and managed to get them back.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03I got my VIP pass with me to show my friends.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04And you met him last night.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Met him last night, and I had a smoke with him.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10I don't smoke, but he offered me one, so I took one.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12- I'm hoping that's just tobacco. - No, it wasn't!
0:07:12 > 0:07:14LAUGHTER
0:07:22 > 0:07:26I love that. OK, what's Reggie's food and drink pet hate?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Yoghurt drinks. I can't stand 'em. - Ah.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37There's drinks, there's soft drinks, there's milkshake,
0:07:37 > 0:07:39and then there's yoghurt drinks.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Why would you want a yoghurt drink?
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- It just doesn't make sense. - Mmm.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46On a warm day, you wouldn't drink milk,
0:07:46 > 0:07:49so why would you drink yoghurt? I don't understand.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Why is a milkshake acceptable and not a yoghurt shake?
0:07:53 > 0:07:57Because it tastes good. It doesn't taste like yoghurt.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Yoghurt really annoys me because it's disgusting
0:08:00 > 0:08:02and it's just gone-off stuff.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04I don't want a cup of gone-off stuff.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08I want a nice, fruity beverage that's refreshing.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10This is ridiculous.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13OK.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16But a yoghurt has things called probiotics in it, which is, like,
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- well good for you and stuff, isn't it?- Very good for you.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21So, in your face with that.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27If I'm going to have a dairy-based drink, I like it to taste nice.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30I also like it to go toe-to-toe with irritable bowel syndrome.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33- Yeah.- I tell you what I have a problem with.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36- The Fruit Corner. Are you familiar with the Fruit Corner?- Yeah, yeah.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Because that's not a yoghurt, that's a yoghurt kit.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I don't want to make my yoghurt, I want it to come...
0:08:43 > 0:08:45The problem with that, is it can go wrong
0:08:45 > 0:08:49because you have to do that weird thing where you flip the fruit into the yoghurt,
0:08:49 > 0:08:53and if it goes wrong you've ruined the entire thing. Then you're just left with yoghurt,
0:08:53 > 0:08:55which is just as bad as this nonsense.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- I don't flip the fruit in. - Do you not?- No.
0:08:57 > 0:09:02- I have a bit of yoghurt, then a bit of fruit, a bit of yoghurt and a bit of fruit.- You maverick.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04LAUGHTER
0:09:04 > 0:09:07You been hanging out with Snoop Dogg?
0:09:09 > 0:09:13What would you say was the most masculine drink that exists?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15See, I don't drink. I don't drink alcohol,
0:09:15 > 0:09:19but I've always liked the idea of getting a short, stubby glass of brandy
0:09:19 > 0:09:22and sitting at a piano and smoking a cigar.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24That's a really nice, cool, man thing to do,
0:09:24 > 0:09:27but I don't smoke and I don't drink so I'll never do that,
0:09:27 > 0:09:29but I really like the idea of that.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- Can I ask, do you play the piano? - No!
0:09:31 > 0:09:32LAUGHTER
0:09:36 > 0:09:40I ask about the macho thing because someone sent me this,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42which is called... You see that? Oyster Stout.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44I don't know if you can read the bottom of that.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46"Stout made with bull testicles."
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Oh. Shall I taste it?
0:09:49 > 0:09:53- Do you want to taste it? - Can I taste it?- Yeah, certainly.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I just sort of feel like one of us should.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58John, do you want to do it?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00No, I'm really happy for you to try it.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Let's hope you don't develop a taste for it.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Don't aim it at John Craven, for God's sake.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10It's a funny description.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13It calls itself, "A luscious, uniquely ballsy stout..."
0:10:13 > 0:10:14Oh, I see.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18" ..with flavours of roasted barley, coffee and nuts."
0:10:21 > 0:10:22Here we go.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24It's like being on I'm A Celebrity.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33- Oh, that is rank.- Is it horrible?
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Try some, John. Oh, that's really disgusting.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40- It's an awful colour as well. - Are you going to try it, John?
0:10:40 > 0:10:44That's like drinking metal. Oh, no, that's not nice.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48- Yuck.- It tastes of...- There's a really strong taste of liquorice.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52It tastes of... Hmm, what is it? Testicles.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55But John presents Countryfile,
0:10:55 > 0:10:57so it won't be the first time he's gone home
0:10:57 > 0:10:59smelling of bull's testicles.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03OK, so we've come to the end of that round.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05I think, the yoghurt drink thing,
0:11:05 > 0:11:07I wouldn't want to get rid of probiotics
0:11:07 > 0:11:10because I think they are sort of good for people,
0:11:10 > 0:11:14so I think you're going to throw out the baby with the bath water.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16The marrow, I can't let that go
0:11:16 > 0:11:20because there's been so many fabulous visual jokes about it.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24But Miranda, I think you make a good point
0:11:24 > 0:11:26that things like carrot cake - they're cake.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30Why don't they just 'fess up and be honest about it?
0:11:30 > 0:11:34So I am going to put fruit and veg out of context into Room 101.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Yes!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Anyway, let's have our next category.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52It's technology. All right.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55So, what is John's technology hate?
0:12:01 > 0:12:05It is electronic books. I hate electronic books.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08CHEERING
0:12:10 > 0:12:14With a real book, you know, you can actually feel it.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16It's a very physical thing, a real book.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18You turn the pages,
0:12:18 > 0:12:21you can put it back on the shelf and feel good about it,
0:12:21 > 0:12:24you can have your little bookmark to mark your spot in it.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Electronic books have none of that sort of thing.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Electronic books are just another gadget.
0:12:30 > 0:12:35My real worry is that eventually
0:12:35 > 0:12:38so many people will go for this easy, electronic read
0:12:38 > 0:12:40that we'll start losing our bookshops,
0:12:40 > 0:12:43and I don't want books to disappear.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45So please...
0:12:45 > 0:12:48CHEERING
0:12:50 > 0:12:54The eBook is going to end up saving the, er, Amazon rainforest.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- Certainly end up saving Amazon. - No, no.
0:12:56 > 0:12:57LAUGHTER
0:12:57 > 0:12:59I just think that...
0:12:59 > 0:13:05I mean, I have a Kindle, and, er, I've also got, um,
0:13:05 > 0:13:11an iPad and an iPod, and I'm just thinking, in the '80s,
0:13:11 > 0:13:15I really got into inflatable furniture. I had a whole house...
0:13:15 > 0:13:20If I'd kept that and those things, I'd be able to move house in a briefcase.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Do you have any ordinary books, then, Frank?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25I still have the ordinary books.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29I don't go around burning books. But that's a point.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31If the Nazis had had Kindles,
0:13:31 > 0:13:35they wouldn't have been so frightening if they were in the street, deleting books.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44OK, well, it's a strong case.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46What doesn't Reggie like about technology?
0:13:51 > 0:13:54I can't bear Bluetooth headsets.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55Wow.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58They are incredibly annoying.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00That's genius. I've only just seen it.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04They're incredibly annoying and unfortunately
0:14:04 > 0:14:08the majority of the people that actually use them are incredibly annoying people.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11No offence. Thank you. Thank you.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17They have been a source of great relief to me, though.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18If you're walking down the street
0:14:18 > 0:14:20and there's someone coming towards you
0:14:20 > 0:14:22who you think might be talking to themselves,
0:14:22 > 0:14:25and you get close, "Oh, thank God, they've got a..."
0:14:25 > 0:14:30Any piece of technology that makes you look like you might be mad
0:14:30 > 0:14:32surely should go in Room 101.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35That's a very good way of classifying it, I must say.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38They are quite expensive.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- Yeah, they're not cheap. - And I had a great...
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Tell me, someone else might have come up with this idea.
0:14:42 > 0:14:49I think this is brilliant. This is, er, my method of a cheap hands-free.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51That's brilliant.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59Yeah. Excellent. I've also found a way of saving money.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01You know an iPod...
0:15:01 > 0:15:04LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Have you seen these gloves? These are proper phones,
0:15:16 > 0:15:20- and they have a speaker in the finger, the little finger.- No way.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Honestly. A speaker - you can feel it there -
0:15:23 > 0:15:28- and the earpiece is in there, so you actually do that.- No way.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Is it wrong that I really want a pair of those gloves?
0:15:34 > 0:15:36- Amazing.- They are excellent.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38See, that's actually kind of annoying.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Like, I can imagine my girlfriend or my little sister
0:15:40 > 0:15:42getting really annoyed at me using that,
0:15:42 > 0:15:45but I'd take so much pleasure in using that and annoying people,
0:15:45 > 0:15:48as opposed to this. The people that use these think they look cool.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50- Yeah.- They think they're space age,
0:15:50 > 0:15:52and they have their phone clipped on their belt,
0:15:52 > 0:15:55just in case you didn't know this was connected to that.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Whereas with that, you know you look like a plonker.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- You're enjoying it.- My problem is -
0:16:00 > 0:16:02and you won't know this because you're a young man, Reggie -
0:16:02 > 0:16:09but the ears get very hairy, and I'm worried that it might get overgrown.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13It'll be like a blinking blue light showing through the undergrowth,
0:16:13 > 0:16:18like a police car parked on a forest clearing.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20LAUGHTER
0:16:23 > 0:16:26OK. What's Miranda's technology hate?
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- I hate the smartphone. - "Smart phone". See?
0:16:35 > 0:16:37I see what they've done there. That's clever.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Got a degree, you see.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Well, I should admit I have a smartphone.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43I have one of the kind that's named by a fruit,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46which is another fruit out of context.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49And I have a mild addiction to it,
0:16:49 > 0:16:53and that is my worry, that we are all addicted to our phones.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56So I have a two-pronged attack.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58One is the more serious, er, campaign,
0:16:58 > 0:17:03which is that I genuinely worry where the younger generation,
0:17:03 > 0:17:08where our artists, screenwriters, authors, er, are going to come from,
0:17:08 > 0:17:14because the "yoot" of today are just constantly on screens.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18There's no... A journey now is, "Let's check my emails".
0:17:18 > 0:17:20There's no dreaming, looking out the window.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22We're not going for walks any more.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25We're not going on journeys any more. We're not communicating.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27We're in this sort of world of just looking at a screen,
0:17:27 > 0:17:30so I worry what's happening to people's imaginations.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32That's the serious point about it.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36My other point is that it's created text speak, which I...
0:17:36 > 0:17:39if I hear someone say "OMG", I will kill them in the face.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45LOL, it's created, which is a disaster for the 40s and over.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47People still think that means "lots of love",
0:17:47 > 0:17:50so therefore you get hilarious but awful incidences
0:17:50 > 0:17:53where you might have someone text someone and go,
0:17:53 > 0:17:57"I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce. LOL. Mary."
0:17:59 > 0:18:01That sort of thing.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Just everything about it is irritating and wrong,
0:18:04 > 0:18:07and we need to go back to a simpler life. Thank you. Applause.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18I like the way it's become people's conscience though, the mobile phone.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21So you sit with someone and they've got their phone there,
0:18:21 > 0:18:23and they'll say, "Oh, I saw Susan last night.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26"God, she's got fat. She looked absolutely... Hold on."
0:18:27 > 0:18:30"She looked absolutely..." I love that.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Yeah.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34What about photo bombing? Are you aware of that?
0:18:34 > 0:18:38- No.- Everyone now carries a camera with them at all times,
0:18:38 > 0:18:40which never used to be the case.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43No-one asks for autographs any more, they always want a photo.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46What you do is, when you see someone having their photo took,
0:18:46 > 0:18:50- you sneak in and... - Oh, yes. Brilliant.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54..and become a presence. We have some examples of this.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57LAUGHTER
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Nice.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04And then, um, you'll like this one, John.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09Oh! That's amazing!
0:19:09 > 0:19:12And a slightly terrifying one.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- That is a stingray.- No!
0:19:16 > 0:19:21But just look behind the ray. Can you see somebody's head?
0:19:21 > 0:19:23- Oh, yeah.- Oh, yeah.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Oh, so that man has grabbed the ray and put it on those ladies.
0:19:26 > 0:19:31Well spotted. So someone has actually photo bombed the ray.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32LAUGHTER
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Well, I don't agree with the creativity thing.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39See, if I have an idea, I make a note of it on my smartphone,
0:19:39 > 0:19:41and I read books on my smartphone.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I've got the complete works of Shakespeare
0:19:43 > 0:19:45and the King James Bible on my smartphone.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Absolutely, but what about the youth of the day?
0:19:47 > 0:19:50I don't care about them.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Also, I love books as well, John,
0:19:54 > 0:19:56but because I love books,
0:19:56 > 0:19:58I love the idea of being able
0:19:58 > 0:20:02to carry a hundred books with me all the time. It's the words that count.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05It's receiving wisdom from these great writers.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07That's what I think it's all about.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09But I do think people that wear Bluetooth headsets
0:20:09 > 0:20:12do look like they need a smack in the face.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15APPLAUSE
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I'm going to put Bluetooth headsets into Room 101.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27Next category, please.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Now, this is the wildcard round,
0:20:34 > 0:20:37when you're not constrained by any particular theme.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40You can pick anything at all that you don't like.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42So, what is Reggie's wildcard?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- The hip-hop handshake.- Oh, right.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51- Stand up, Frank. - Yeah. I'm going to need...
0:20:51 > 0:20:52I'll show you what it is.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- Yeah.- Right? So put your hands out,
0:20:54 > 0:20:57and I'll show you the hip-hop handshake.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- I've seen this before. - It sort of starts there.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00Oh, it starts conventionally. Yeah.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03And then it becomes all macho and masculine.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04Pat me on the back.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06OK. Right, right. Yeah, OK.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09You've got to pop your waistline out because you see where... No, no, no.
0:21:09 > 0:21:10The other way.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- You can do it that way if you want. - No, no. OK.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- So you're doing it really, really, really gentle.- Yeah.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- You've got to go for it.- Real sort of overt macho guy with it.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23- Yeah. I'm a white, middle-aged man. - Do it anyway.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24That's my problem.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26This is where it gets really awkward.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30- Shall we try it?- Hey, Frank! Yo! - Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:21:37 > 0:21:42I spent a week at a meditation centre, right,
0:21:42 > 0:21:44and hugging was a very big part of it,
0:21:44 > 0:21:47and there was a very specific style of hugging.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- John, do you want a hug with me? - Yeah, why not?- Yeah, OK.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53- A hug?- So, you have to bend your knees slightly,
0:21:53 > 0:21:56but we have to interlock our knees like this.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58This way?
0:21:58 > 0:22:02Yeah, that's it. No, no, you have to get...
0:22:02 > 0:22:06I'm loving it so far. And then we hug each other. Hold tight.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08And then as I breathe out, you breathe in.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10This is three times. Out you breathe.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Keep going.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14One more for luck.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18We'd get locked up for this.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20That was lovely, wasn't it?
0:22:26 > 0:22:29The idea is that we sort of breathe as one.
0:22:29 > 0:22:30We become one person.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Did you feel that? Did it work for you?
0:22:32 > 0:22:36I've never done it with clothes on before but...
0:22:38 > 0:22:43But that one, you see, at least there is something to learn.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45I feel like if I don't know the hip-hop handshake,
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- I'm being a bit disrespectful or something.- Well, here's the thing.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50It's becoming more and more popular
0:22:50 > 0:22:52and more and more people are doing it.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54The point when I realised it was becoming an epidemic
0:22:54 > 0:22:56was when I saw it at the Olympics,
0:22:56 > 0:22:59where you had gold medallists from different countries
0:22:59 > 0:23:01doing this weird handshake with each other,
0:23:01 > 0:23:04like they were saying hello to Jay-Z and P. Diddy.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06That shouldn't happen at the Olympics.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09A normal handshake will do, and should do, I believe.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- Did it always flow?- No.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14That's the worst thing about it.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17It's happened a couple of times to me, when I've met the JLS.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Oh, yes.- Ah.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21And they went in for the handshake
0:23:21 > 0:23:25and I went, "No, you're making me look like a fool because I don't know what to do."
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Shall I be one of JLS and you be you,
0:23:26 > 0:23:28and we show everyone what happened?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30All right, because I won't be able to do it.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- All right. I'll be Marvin from JLS. - Hi, Marvin. You all right?
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Hey, what's up?- Hey.- Hey, Miranda. Yo, what's up, baby? Uh, uh.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- It felt nice. - Something awkward happens like that.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Do you know what? I had a dog that used to do that.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53So, what is John's wildcard?
0:23:59 > 0:24:00Spitting.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05It is the most antisocial thing that people can do, I think,
0:24:05 > 0:24:07in public, to, er, to spit.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I know in some parts of the world, it's accepted.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13I mean, in China, everybody's spitting all the time.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15That's a genuine Chinese sign.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17- So it is.- They're trying to actually discourage it.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18It's such an unpleasant thing,
0:24:18 > 0:24:22especially when it's a sportsman doing it, you know, footballers.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25In the Olympic Games there was quite a bit of spitting
0:24:25 > 0:24:28going on with the athletes in the marathon and things like that.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Did you see that one when Mo Farah won gold
0:24:31 > 0:24:35and there was an American guy who I think got silver, and Mo Farah just...
0:24:35 > 0:24:41You know they collapse on the track? The American guy spat on the track,
0:24:41 > 0:24:45and Mo Farah was rolling, and he was getting closer and closer.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48The whole nation was like this, "No, Mo, don't!"
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Wayne Rooney has been caught spitting, hasn't he?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55We've got a great... What about this? Look at this for a spit.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57AUDIENCE: Ohh!
0:24:57 > 0:25:01That was where they got the idea for these from.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08OK. What's Miranda's wildcard?
0:25:13 > 0:25:15LAUGHTER
0:25:25 > 0:25:29Why did I suggest this? Um...
0:25:29 > 0:25:31My breasts.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35- Your breasts.- Yeah.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38You want to put them into Room 101?
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Yeah. Please, please put them into Room 101.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43The difficult thing about this, I feel, straight away,
0:25:43 > 0:25:47is usually, I argue on behalf of the thing the person...
0:25:47 > 0:25:51Have I got to sit here and say, "No, I think they're great"?
0:25:52 > 0:25:55I'm going to feel like some kind of animal.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57They're too big, basically, is the problem.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00And quite often... I don't know if it's because I'm tall,
0:26:00 > 0:26:03but I'm not joking, I regularly...
0:26:03 > 0:26:07I just gently nudge people on their shoulder with my breast.
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Yeah?
0:26:08 > 0:26:11And it's always really awkward and I don't want to go, "Sorry",
0:26:11 > 0:26:13in case they hadn't noticed.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16That suggests a certain amount of swinging from side to side.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Well, that's the other problem with a large breast,
0:26:19 > 0:26:22is that you've got to have a very, very good bra.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26So then you've got to have the bra-measuring thing, which is a nightmare.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31Then out of the bra... I mean we're talking, you know, two jellies sliding down a plate.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35- I mean, it's not the best look. - I'm so embarrassed.- I know.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37The other thing about them, and this...
0:26:37 > 0:26:40There's not many real things in my sitcom, but this is real.
0:26:40 > 0:26:41This happened to me,
0:26:41 > 0:26:45that once when I was naked in bed and I rolled over, they clapped.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56That's embarrassing.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59I don't know if it's embarrassing. That's awesome.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05This is unlikely, but what about if you hit on hard times?
0:27:05 > 0:27:08You still have that lad mags photo shoot option.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09- Really?- Yeah.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14I think it's nice to have something to fall forward on.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18I've got, um, one last thing that I think will win you over,
0:27:18 > 0:27:21and make you realise how beautiful your breasts are,
0:27:21 > 0:27:25and that is a marrow carved in the shape of Miranda's breasts.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28- There they are.- That's hilarious.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Have I won you over to marrows now, John?
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Just about.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39You can stuff that one later. So...
0:27:42 > 0:27:46OK, then, that is the wildcard round.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50I don't think I can put your breasts in, Miranda,
0:27:50 > 0:27:53because I just think that... How can I put this?
0:27:53 > 0:27:55I think they seem to be quite nice.
0:27:57 > 0:27:58LAUGHTER
0:28:01 > 0:28:07And, um, I think the handshake, at least it is a friendly gesture.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08I know it can be awkward,
0:28:08 > 0:28:11but I like the fact that men are getting a bit more intimate.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14- I enjoyed ours.- Yeah, and it does express a bit of love.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17It's hard to find a defence for spitting, though, I must say.
0:28:17 > 0:28:21It does spread diseases and I don't think there is any need for it.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23I am going to put spitting into Room 101.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25APPLAUSE
0:28:35 > 0:28:38And that brings us to the end of the show.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42Well done, John. You were the most persuasive guest tonight so you are this week's winner.
0:28:42 > 0:28:43Thank you.
0:28:47 > 0:28:51OK. Thanks very much, Reggie Yates, Miranda Hart and John Craven,
0:28:51 > 0:28:52and thank you. Good night!
0:29:15 > 0:29:17Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd