0:00:22 > 0:00:24APPLAUSE
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Hello, I'm Frank Skinner and welcome to Room 101,
0:00:36 > 0:00:41the show where three guests compete to get their pet hates exiled for ever to the infamous vault.
0:00:41 > 0:00:48Joining me tonight are broadcaster Janet Street Porter, explorer Ben Fogle and comedian Greg Davies.
0:00:48 > 0:00:54APPLAUSE
0:00:56 > 0:00:58OK, let's have our first category.
0:01:03 > 0:01:04Film and Television.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08So, what winds up Janet about film and television?
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Extreme Fishing with Robson Green.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24I'm sorry, it's already a popular choice.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27That is your economy version of this programme.
0:01:27 > 0:01:33Now, fishing is a quiet pastime. Men and women fish.
0:01:33 > 0:01:38And it gives millions of people quiet, contemplative pleasure.
0:01:38 > 0:01:43This programme is jingoistic, chauvinistic...
0:01:43 > 0:01:45It's absolute rubbish.
0:01:45 > 0:01:51He goes all over the world, catching loads of unnecessarily large and ugly fish,
0:01:51 > 0:01:52which they line up on the deck,
0:01:52 > 0:01:57and in the process he manages to be rude about whole continents, countries...
0:01:57 > 0:01:59It's simplistic twaddle.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02It's like Top Gear for fishermen.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04It's one of those men's programmes.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07I call it shed television.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09I have to admit, I quite like it.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13There will be people in the audience here and watching at home
0:02:13 > 0:02:15that have never seen this programme.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18So let's have a look at Extreme Fishing with Robson Green.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Please, please, stay on the line, man!
0:02:21 > 0:02:23I beg you, stay on the line.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25PROLONGED GRUNTING
0:02:27 > 0:02:31PANTING AND GRUNTING
0:02:32 > 0:02:34You did it, man! Woo-hoo-hoo!
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Look at the size of that fish!
0:02:39 > 0:02:40That's a 500lb fish.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42A blue marlin.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48The majority of the footage looked like a man having a difficult poo.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50LAUGHTER
0:02:52 > 0:02:55I would definitely watch Extreme Pooing with Robson Green.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57ONLY if it was with Robson Green!
0:02:57 > 0:02:58Of course!
0:03:00 > 0:03:04Apparently, before Robson Green was on board they were going to have Abu Hamza present it.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06LAUGHTER
0:03:06 > 0:03:08They'd save quite a lot of money on tackle.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15There's something I like about his enthusiasm, though.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18He seems to really have a brilliant time.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21That level of hyperbole,
0:03:21 > 0:03:25that level of orgasmic enthusiasm, never lets up.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- We're allowed programmes like that. - Maybe you don't see it, Frank.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32- Surely...- Oh, you are, by the way... - I knew it!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I knew we'd get there!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37You're just the upper class version of that.
0:03:37 > 0:03:42Oh! Oh! You've... You've played your class card rather early.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:03:44 > 0:03:48OK, then, what doesn't Ben Fogle like about TV and film?
0:03:53 > 0:03:57What I absolutely can't stand...
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Is it when the vertical hold goes on the telly?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Can anyone guess?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Multi-channel TV.
0:04:05 > 0:04:11When you have so many channels, that you can choose from, that you can't settle on one.
0:04:11 > 0:04:16Call me old-fashioned, but I grew up in a time when we pretty much had the four channels and that was it.
0:04:16 > 0:04:21Now you go on and you have to go through all the terrestrial channels,
0:04:21 > 0:04:23then you have all of the cable channels, then plus-one,
0:04:23 > 0:04:27then you have 3-D, then you have HD, then you have minus-one,
0:04:27 > 0:04:31and then, just as your wife's about to get in, you go into the adult channels
0:04:31 > 0:04:35and she comes in just as you get to Essex Babes and...er...
0:04:35 > 0:04:36and it's a complete nightmare.
0:04:36 > 0:04:41Now what I like about it, Ben, is that there IS a channel called Essex Babes.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:04:43 > 0:04:45You haven't just made that up, have you?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47534, I think.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53I like that fact that you feel the need to go through all the channels before you get to Essex Babes.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55You can jump straight to that, you know that?
0:04:55 > 0:05:00But you go through them all and then half of them have adverts so you then have to jump back.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04And the bottom line is, there's still absolutely nothing to watch.
0:05:04 > 0:05:09But I've got the 3-D channel, and I wouldn't want to give that up.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- But then you have to put glasses on.- But that's brilliant!
0:05:12 > 0:05:16And you have to go through the whole process and it makes you all dizzy...
0:05:16 > 0:05:18But in my flat, the flats kind of look in on each other a bit.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23And I love the fact that my neighbours think I'm living a sort of Reservoir Dogs lifestyle,
0:05:23 > 0:05:26cos I've got about eight mates all in shades in the evenings,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29all just sitting around in there. It must look brilliant.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33That fact that we're watching Puss in Boots is neither here nor there.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:05:34 > 0:05:36But, yeah, that would go?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I firmly think we need to go back to a day where less is more,
0:05:39 > 0:05:45we have fewer channels, and we just improve the quality overall.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49People don't turn on the television for high quality. They want rubbish.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54It's like eating a diet. You don't want to eat rich food all the time,
0:05:54 > 0:05:56you want to eat rubbish, as well.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00And in your world - you're being very, if you don't mind me doing the class card again...
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Here we go again!
0:06:02 > 0:06:06It's a bit dictatorial to say let's go back to four channels and let's not give people choice,
0:06:06 > 0:06:09- it's their human right to have choice.- Oh, blimey!
0:06:09 > 0:06:12You've just been saying we can't have male TV,
0:06:12 > 0:06:16and yet you do a show where lots of women sit around whinging at each other all day.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18You're allowed to have that!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:06:22 > 0:06:24I'm not going to even retaliate.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28But when you are going through all those multi-channels,
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- you do get captivated, caught up, for a couple of minutes...- Yeah.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34..then you move to the next one. But you don't watch anything.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35But that's the joy of it.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39You watch a bit. You can just sit at home like this.
0:06:39 > 0:06:44# I... will...
0:06:56 > 0:06:58All human life!
0:06:58 > 0:07:00- APPLAUSE - But you've just...
0:07:02 > 0:07:07Anyway, what is Greg's TV and film dislike?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13It's unnecessary interviews with the public.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18And I'm a big fan of the general public,
0:07:18 > 0:07:21but, um, there are times when we don't need to talk to them.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:07:23 > 0:07:26I was watching some of the Jubilee footage
0:07:26 > 0:07:32and a reporter went over to a couple who were dressed from head to foot in Union Jacks -
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Union Jack hat and jacket and shoes -
0:07:34 > 0:07:36I don't even know where you get those from!
0:07:36 > 0:07:43And his opening question was, "Are you here to see the Jubilee?"
0:07:43 > 0:07:45That's the start of the interview.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47And OF COURSE that's what they're here for!
0:07:47 > 0:07:50And then he went, "What are you most looking forward to?"
0:07:50 > 0:07:53And they were obviously cross-eyed lunatics, and they were...
0:07:53 > 0:07:57"Oh, we're looking forward to seeing the Queen." All right, brilliant, that's incisive.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00The interview, I swear, went on for 10 minutes.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04By the end of it he was, "What part of the Queen are you most...?"
0:08:04 > 0:08:07LAUGHTER
0:08:07 > 0:08:10"Are you looking forward to seeing her hands?"
0:08:10 > 0:08:12And they were really trying...
0:08:12 > 0:08:17"We're looking forward to seeing what sort of hat she's got on." Really?!
0:08:17 > 0:08:20"What colour hat might the Queen have? She might have red.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23"She might have... Maybe she'll have a yellow hat!" Shut up!
0:08:23 > 0:08:25LAUGHTER
0:08:27 > 0:08:31If it's dead telly time... Like if sportsperson does really well,
0:08:31 > 0:08:38they always take a camera to the pub in that person's home town, right?
0:08:38 > 0:08:43And they're expecting to get incisive commentary about how well this athlete's done,
0:08:43 > 0:08:45just because these people live in their town.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Oh, well done, Jessica Ennis has done an amazing thing.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52We're here talking to Barry, who is a butcher in the same town
0:08:52 > 0:08:57that Jessica Ennis happened to grow up in. He's never met her. "Barry, what do you think of Jessica's...?"
0:08:57 > 0:08:59"I think it's amazing!"
0:09:00 > 0:09:04"It's amazing what Jessica's done."
0:09:04 > 0:09:07"Have you ever met Jessica?" "No!"
0:09:07 > 0:09:10"You seem to have been celebrating for a long time."
0:09:10 > 0:09:12"I've drunk 30 pints."
0:09:13 > 0:09:15"I can't see!"
0:09:15 > 0:09:17"This eye has shut down."
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Unfortunately, you're selling it really well.
0:09:23 > 0:09:30I have to say though, I find it very reassuring that people don't know about stuff.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Because have you ever been in the pub and you're having a conversation,
0:09:34 > 0:09:36you're all really involved and enjoying it,
0:09:36 > 0:09:41and then there's one bloke who actually knows about the topic and it really spoils it.
0:09:41 > 0:09:46So I sort of wrap myself in the warm blanket of ignorance, when I'm watching this.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50And I'm glad we're all ignorant together.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Listening to everyone talk though
0:09:52 > 0:09:55I want to know what the audience think about what we're talking about.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I want a vox pop from the audience.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Sorry, Ben, that's just not going to happen.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- LAUGHTER - I want one!
0:10:02 > 0:10:05But my point is, that's because people don't want to hear experts,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08they want to hear people like themselves talking about things.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13I would say, if you didn't get random vox pops on the telly,
0:10:13 > 0:10:15you would never have got this...
0:10:15 > 0:10:18REPORTER: My friend, the zombie, Jonathan, you're looking good.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Jonathan just got an awesome face paint job. What do you think?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23I like turtles!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26All right, you're a great zombie!
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Good times here at the Waterfront Village...
0:10:29 > 0:10:33LAUGHTER AND LIGHT APPLAUSE
0:10:33 > 0:10:34Very good.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35I take it all back!
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Anyway...
0:10:38 > 0:10:41LAUGHTER
0:10:41 > 0:10:42..we come to the end of that round.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45First of all, I can't possibly put in multi-channel TV.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48What would I do with my nights?!
0:10:48 > 0:10:53And I'm glad that Robson Green has found a job that he likes and stuff.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56I don't like the idea of him being alone and listless,
0:10:56 > 0:10:59so I think it's good, and people do like it.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01I think you're right that, sometimes,
0:11:01 > 0:11:04members of the public are horribly put on the spot by vox pops,
0:11:04 > 0:11:06and it needs to stop.
0:11:06 > 0:11:11So, I'm going to put interviews with members of the public into Room 101.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Anyway, let's have our next category.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30What kind of people doesn't Ben like?
0:11:36 > 0:11:39People who use suitcases on wheels.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:41 > 0:11:44It's so annoying!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46See, it's divided already.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50But, just looking at this person makes my heart start pounding.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53These are weapons! These ARE weapons.
0:11:53 > 0:11:58They pull them around and up station platforms, through airports,
0:11:58 > 0:12:02and they try and trip you up. You can't get past them...
0:12:02 > 0:12:04and look how small they are!
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Obviously, probably, most people use one slightly larger than this one.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10But, often, they really are just about large enough for a pair of pants.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14- They are small.- Well, what do you want us to carry our luggage in?!
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Just carry it in a bag. Pick it up.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20Oh, just carry it in one of your posh little weekend leather holdalls?!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22LAUGHTER
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Oh, Janet!
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Well, I'm sorry!
0:12:25 > 0:12:29I travel a lot, and if I did not have a wheelie bag,
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I would have put my back out numerous times.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33I just think...you're horrible.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36LAUGHTER
0:12:38 > 0:12:41I have to say, I'm totally with Ben on this. Totally.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I think civilisation began with the wheel
0:12:43 > 0:12:45and now it's ending with it.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49You don't need to put your pants in a little...
0:12:49 > 0:12:52But you're talking man speak.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53I can see you're a rugged adventurer,
0:12:53 > 0:12:57and you probably travel for three weeks with one pair of pants
0:12:57 > 0:13:00and, you know, bare minimum.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Most of us like choice.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04You've already said you don't like choice in TV channels.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07We like choice in clothes too, as well as television,
0:13:07 > 0:13:14and that requires packing stuff in bags that's a little bit, sometimes, too heavy to carry.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17And also, it's putting a lot of people out of work.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20I'd have thought, with a surname like yours, you'd be a bit more loyal!
0:13:20 > 0:13:22LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Look at this! This is what I've started walking round with.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29I mean, in the end, if you can't beat them, join them.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31This is my wallet.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33LAUGHTER
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Your wallet!- That's how it's getting.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41I tell you, this has been my style for years,
0:13:41 > 0:13:43and I'm going to stick with it.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46I carry one of these, and when I'm in a queue,
0:13:46 > 0:13:48this is what I do....
0:13:48 > 0:13:52- Right, so, I'm in the queue. We move along a bit.- Kick it with your foot.
0:13:52 > 0:13:57- There you go! That is how you do it! - It's a grand tradition!
0:13:57 > 0:14:01- Shuffle it along?- Yeah! And I love that. You don't need wheels.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- I agree.- And they walk right across you, don't they?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- They do! Exactly. - They forget they've got it.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Also, you know that classic moment in The Exorcist,
0:14:09 > 0:14:10where the exorcist turns up?
0:14:10 > 0:14:14You know that fabulous, iconic picture?
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Just imagine how that would be now.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18LAUGHTER
0:14:18 > 0:14:20APPLAUSE
0:14:20 > 0:14:21Rubbish!
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Anyway, what kind of people wind up Janet?
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Right, what really winds me up
0:14:34 > 0:14:38is women who want to be treated like "ladies."
0:14:38 > 0:14:42And by that, I mean women who want men to open doors for them,
0:14:42 > 0:14:45women who want men to stand up when they come into the room,
0:14:45 > 0:14:48or to show them to their seats...
0:14:48 > 0:14:54That whole selective feminism, it really, really annoys me.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57OK. I thought you were pro-choice?
0:14:57 > 0:15:02I am pro-choice, but I think if you're going to be a strong female and you want equality,
0:15:02 > 0:15:06you're not going to get too wound up about whether men open doors for you,
0:15:06 > 0:15:08and if you go on the Underground or go on a train,
0:15:08 > 0:15:10why should a bloke get up for you?
0:15:10 > 0:15:14I agree. I don't stand up for women on buses and trains.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16It's borderline for some pensioners...
0:15:16 > 0:15:17LAUGHTER
0:15:17 > 0:15:21I've got to see proof that they're in trouble before I get up.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24I'm a pensioner, and I wouldn't want you to stand up, no.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Thank you, Janet. And I wouldn't.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Well, what if you'd been on the Titanic, and they said,
0:15:33 > 0:15:34"Women and children first"?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Would you have said, "Don't patronise me"?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39LAUGHTER
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Was that your attempt to be me?!
0:15:41 > 0:15:45I don't think a career in Dead Ringers awaits you.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46- But...- Yeah?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- I would hold the door open for you any time.- Oh, don't...
0:15:49 > 0:15:52But I'd also hold the door open for Ben and for Greg.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Oh, that's fine, if you hold the door open for all of us. But not just me.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58I'd hold the door open for Piers Morgan!
0:15:58 > 0:15:59LAUGHTER
0:15:59 > 0:16:03If it was a trap door, and he was being hanged at the time.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05APPLAUSE
0:16:05 > 0:16:08This is the other extreme, I would say.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09This is an Australian guy,
0:16:09 > 0:16:13who set up a series of street signs for his girlfriend
0:16:13 > 0:16:14as she drove home.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19LAUGHTER
0:16:19 > 0:16:21GASPING
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- That is genuine, as well!- No!
0:16:26 > 0:16:27That is fantastic!
0:16:27 > 0:16:29LAUGHTER
0:16:29 > 0:16:33Oh! What kind of people wind up Greg?
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Well, it's not people, really. It's just a man.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- OK. - LAUGHTER
0:16:43 > 0:16:47I go really regularly to the same town in Spain on holiday,
0:16:47 > 0:16:50and there's just this old bloke who really hates me there.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52LAUGHTER
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Yeah?
0:16:54 > 0:16:56LAUGHTER
0:16:57 > 0:17:03He's about 85 and he looks like the deceased actor, Ernest Borgnine.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06How do you know that he hates you?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08It started off quite subtly, that I would...
0:17:08 > 0:17:12He always sits on the same corner, and the house where I stay,
0:17:12 > 0:17:14his house is on the road for me to get to it,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17so I have to go past his house every time I come down.
0:17:17 > 0:17:21And it started off, I would just drive past and he would do this...
0:17:21 > 0:17:23LAUGHTER
0:17:23 > 0:17:27- And I thought...- You do that they drive on the right, don't you?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Yeah! But I thought I was being paranoid,
0:17:30 > 0:17:33and all my family would say, "Oh, no, you're imagining it."
0:17:33 > 0:17:35But then, it escalated, so that I would drive past,
0:17:35 > 0:17:39and I'm not exaggerating, I've never said a word to this man,
0:17:39 > 0:17:43I would drive past and just glance at him, and he would do this...
0:17:43 > 0:17:44HE GROWLS
0:17:44 > 0:17:46LAUGHTER
0:17:46 > 0:17:49..which no normal human being does.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51I really hate him!
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Is it because you're the only non-Spanish person in the town?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56He doesn't know I'm not Spanish. I've never spoken to him.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00But you don't behave in a way that sounds very Spanish, or local.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02You're behaving in quite an aggressive way.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05What should I do? I should drive past him with castanets...?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07LAUGHTER
0:18:07 > 0:18:10..eating some meat and cheese? "Ey!"
0:18:10 > 0:18:13And you're sure you're not just misreading his body language?
0:18:13 > 0:18:17You can't misread this! You can't misread this, Ben!
0:18:17 > 0:18:18HE GROWLS
0:18:20 > 0:18:26Usually, you find that the Spanish are a very warm, friendly...
0:18:26 > 0:18:29I mean, I'm basing this totally on the man from Del Monte,
0:18:29 > 0:18:33- but they're a very positive... - I've done controlled tests, Frank.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36I sent a friend down without me, right?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Maybe I've gone too far...
0:18:38 > 0:18:41but I hid at the top of the street, and my friend drove past him,
0:18:41 > 0:18:45and my friend, who is very clearly English, went, "Beep, beep!"
0:18:45 > 0:18:46and he went, "Ey!"
0:18:46 > 0:18:48LAUGHTER
0:18:50 > 0:18:52I swear to God, it's awful!
0:18:52 > 0:18:56He's generally just absolutely, totally happy with life.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58I've observed him from distance.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01He's, like, with his family, all the kids, "Ey!"
0:19:01 > 0:19:04"Oh, look at Grandad, he's such a great laugh!"
0:19:04 > 0:19:05I drive past...
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Well, we did try to get him tonight,
0:19:10 > 0:19:13but it turns out he's on Spanish television tonight,
0:19:13 > 0:19:16putting Greg Davies into Room Kera Uno...
0:19:16 > 0:19:19LAUGHTER
0:19:19 > 0:19:22APPLAUSE
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Well, you argue your case well, because nobody wants to be hated,
0:19:27 > 0:19:30and I do also know exactly what Janet means,
0:19:30 > 0:19:32and I sympathise with her argument,
0:19:32 > 0:19:36because you do feel that people are letting the side down a bit.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40But, I feel so passionately and strongly about suitcases on wheels
0:19:40 > 0:19:42that I cannot go against Ben.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46I'm going to put suitcases with wheels into Room 101!
0:19:46 > 0:19:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:54 > 0:19:55Next category, please!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04OK. This is the wild card round, so there's no limitations now.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08You can pick anything at all that you don't like.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09So, what is Ben's wild card?
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Umbrellas.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19But it's not just the umbrella itself,
0:20:19 > 0:20:21it's people that don't know how to drive an umbrella,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23if that's the term I can use.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25I personally think that when you get an umbrella,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27you should actually have to pass a little licence
0:20:27 > 0:20:29about how to use an umbrella.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Because you'll be walking down the street,
0:20:31 > 0:20:35and shorter people with umbrellas go flying down the pavement,
0:20:35 > 0:20:41and these pointy bits here poke you in the eyes, they...
0:20:41 > 0:20:42they jab you in the ribs.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46But also, if you are using an umbrella, you get caught in narrow bits...
0:20:46 > 0:20:49especially if you're in the street in London, there's trees,
0:20:49 > 0:20:52you have to pull it down a little bit, you get soaking wet,
0:20:52 > 0:20:53you inevitably end up sharing it,
0:20:53 > 0:20:56because I like to share it with the person I'm with,
0:20:56 > 0:20:58so half of you gets soaking wet. I don't see the point.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Unless you're Greg's size and you can hold it
0:21:01 > 0:21:05so you're like Jack and the Beanstalk and you can shelter everyone in London,
0:21:05 > 0:21:09there's no point in having an umbrella.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12- Which I could do. - LAUGHTER
0:21:12 > 0:21:16Well, what I do, my normal method is, if I've got the umbrella,
0:21:16 > 0:21:19as I get nearer to people, I hold it high, high, high, like that.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22That's good umbrella driving. You'd pass your test.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Yes, so it doesn't touch them. But I was doing that and I got home,
0:21:25 > 0:21:27I was being followed by 30 Japanese tourists.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30LAUGHTER
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Ben, 15 years ago, I saw something, and I thought,
0:21:34 > 0:21:37"This will change the world."
0:21:37 > 0:21:40This is, you know, it's a game-changer.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- I've seen these. - LAUGHTER
0:21:43 > 0:21:45It was the umbrella hat.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48And I'm not kidding you, but when I saw it, I thought,
0:21:48 > 0:21:49"That's the answer, isn't it?"
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Can I say, I actually agree with that.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54I think that is a very useful piece of kit.
0:21:54 > 0:21:59I don't know about you. I play a lot of outdoor accordion...
0:21:59 > 0:22:01LAUGHTER
0:22:01 > 0:22:03..and it's perfect for that.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05And also, what about the deaf?
0:22:06 > 0:22:09When the deaf are out and it's raining,
0:22:09 > 0:22:13they have to do the first part of the sentence with one hand and then change...
0:22:13 > 0:22:14LAUGHTER
0:22:14 > 0:22:17With this, you can sign absolutely fluently.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21I really approve of that. You see, I would like to keep those.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Yes, I'm glad we agree on that.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Can I have that later?
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- Could we set up a small business together?- We could.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29- SHE SIGHS - I think that would be excellent.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32"Umbrellas for the deaf by Fogle and Skinner?!"
0:22:32 > 0:22:33- LAUGHTER - Yeah!
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Where do I sign for my investment?
0:22:36 > 0:22:37LAUGHTER
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Anyway, what is Greg's wild card?
0:22:45 > 0:22:47LAUGHTER
0:22:47 > 0:22:51It's friends who develop new interests and hobbies.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53LAUGHTER
0:22:54 > 0:22:58It just really winds me up when you get to a certain age that suddenly,
0:22:58 > 0:23:02someone you've known you were a kid is suddenly "into" something.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06I just find it...I just think there should be a cut-off point.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09You're allowed to develop interests up until the age of about 22,
0:23:09 > 0:23:13and from that point onwards, you just stay the same.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16I have friends who go, "Oh, of course, I'm into cycling now."
0:23:16 > 0:23:20Oh, are you? Are you into cycling? Fascinating(!)
0:23:20 > 0:23:21LAUGHTER
0:23:21 > 0:23:26I would be a terrible friend for you, in that respect,
0:23:26 > 0:23:30because I have had lessons and done hobbies like...
0:23:30 > 0:23:36I've done tango, ice skating, drawing, horse riding, meditation...
0:23:36 > 0:23:40I've done taxidermy, I've done... I've done yoga, Pilates...
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- Have you?! - I've done French, German...
0:23:43 > 0:23:47I think, the moral of this is, you can stop drinking, but you never replace it.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:23:52 > 0:23:55But I believe you should always be having lessons in something
0:23:55 > 0:23:59at any stage in your life, and I've always got a hobby on the go.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I'm all for people having new hobbies and interests.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05I just want them never to talk to me about them, that's all.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Have you got any hobbies?
0:24:07 > 0:24:09No, I'm a fairly lonely character, actually.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11LAUGHTER
0:24:11 > 0:24:15We have a clip. This is, I think, arguably,
0:24:15 > 0:24:18the most marvellous hobby anyone could have.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31LAUGHTER
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- Come on!- You'd want to hear about a hobby like that!
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Let me make it perfectly clear.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43If a friend said to me, "Greg, I've got a new hobby,
0:24:43 > 0:24:47"it's dressing live squirrels in human clothes,"
0:24:47 > 0:24:49I'd go, "Tell me more about it!"
0:24:49 > 0:24:51LAUGHTER
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Exactly!
0:24:52 > 0:24:54"And tell me about the medical treatment
0:24:54 > 0:24:56"that you personally receive."
0:24:56 > 0:24:59It's just finding the right hobby, it's as simple as that.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01OK, what Janet's wild card?
0:25:06 > 0:25:09I've chosen local news.
0:25:09 > 0:25:14Really, I'm talking about local news bulletins on the television,
0:25:14 > 0:25:19where the areas they cover are so big,
0:25:19 > 0:25:22like BBC Newsroom South East
0:25:22 > 0:25:26seems to range from Dover to Eastbourne to Chatham,
0:25:26 > 0:25:30and it always involves one murder, one cat lost somewhere,
0:25:30 > 0:25:33a blocked drain, and a rugby match.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35And you've wasted ten minutes of your time
0:25:35 > 0:25:40and you know absolutely nothing about what's happened in your area.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42I spend quite a lot of time in Whitstable,
0:25:42 > 0:25:46and the staple diet of the local newspapers is,
0:25:46 > 0:25:50"Should we have one-way traffic in the High Street?"
0:25:50 > 0:25:53And that has been the main news story now for ten years.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56LAUGHTER It's amazing!
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Our local newspaper, when I was a kid,
0:25:58 > 0:26:01was called The Smethwick Telephone.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04And I've no idea why it was called The Telephone,
0:26:04 > 0:26:08and I remember I was on stage in Birmingham, and I said,
0:26:08 > 0:26:10"I don't know why it was called The Smethwick Telephone,"
0:26:10 > 0:26:13and this bloke said, "Cos it was from Smethwick."
0:26:13 > 0:26:15LAUGHTER
0:26:19 > 0:26:21But, my favourite thing about local newspapers...
0:26:21 > 0:26:23I don't how this started,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26but it's the idea that every picture tells a story,
0:26:26 > 0:26:30so every photograph has to tell the complete story,
0:26:30 > 0:26:32like people can't read.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34So, I'm just read you a few local news stories,
0:26:34 > 0:26:37and we'll show the accompanying picture.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39"A heavily pregnant woman was refused bus travel
0:26:39 > 0:26:42"because she had too many five pence pieces."
0:26:42 > 0:26:44LAUGHTER
0:26:44 > 0:26:46It's the whole story there!
0:26:46 > 0:26:50"Residents are warning that someone will be seriously injured on pot-holed road."
0:26:51 > 0:26:53LAUGHTER
0:26:54 > 0:26:59"Hoteliers complain about noise levels from North Pier, Blackpool."
0:26:59 > 0:27:01LAUGHTER
0:27:01 > 0:27:05And, "Man discovers a 21-inch, three-and-a-half pound cucumber in his greenhouse."
0:27:05 > 0:27:08LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Anyway, we come to the end of that round,
0:27:15 > 0:27:20and this is a tough one for me, cos I kind of like all these things.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23And I can't put friends' hobbies in,
0:27:23 > 0:27:27because I love obsessives and all kinds, and I'm a big hobbies fan,
0:27:27 > 0:27:31and umbrellas, I like the whole thing of having an umbrella
0:27:31 > 0:27:33and having it hanging on your arm
0:27:33 > 0:27:35and pressing buttons and all that stuff.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38I also really like local news,
0:27:38 > 0:27:41but I admit, TV local news can go a bit rubbish.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44So, although I don't want to get rid of the newspapers,
0:27:44 > 0:27:47I am going to put local TV news into Room 101.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Yes!
0:27:49 > 0:27:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:54 > 0:27:55So...
0:27:57 > 0:27:59..that brings us to the end of the show, and well done, Greg,
0:27:59 > 0:28:02you were the most persuasive guest tonight,
0:28:02 > 0:28:04- so you are this week's winner! - Oh, thank you!
0:28:04 > 0:28:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:08 > 0:28:10You did brilliantly well, all three of you.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13Thank you very much, Greg Davies, Ben Fogle and Janet Street-Porter.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15And thank you, goodnight!
0:28:15 > 0:28:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:36 > 0:28:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd