0:00:26 > 0:00:29APPLAUSE
0:00:33 > 0:00:37Hello, I'm Frank Skinner, and welcome to Room 101,
0:00:37 > 0:00:40the show where three guests battle to get the things they hate
0:00:40 > 0:00:43entombed for all eternity in the dreaded vault.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Let's meet this week's guests.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46He'll make you laugh, James Acaster,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48she'll make you think, Kirsty Wark,
0:00:48 > 0:00:50he'll make you dinner, Heston Blumenthal.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:59 > 0:01:00BELL RINGS
0:01:00 > 0:01:03OK, what's winding up James?
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Don't really need to explain that, do I?
0:01:13 > 0:01:17Probably the worst of all the animals, I'd say.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Lary, but unjustifiably lary.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24I don't really believe a goose could handle itself,
0:01:24 > 0:01:26but it fronts it all the time.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Like, a swan, we know, can break your arm,
0:01:30 > 0:01:33and geese are just like the people who hang out with the bigger kids.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Just go up to you, going, "Naa",
0:01:35 > 0:01:37and you know you could punch it, but it's a goose.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- We have a clip, actually. - Oh, God.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Of a man in a canoe enjoying a beautiful day's canoeing.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53LAUGHTER
0:01:57 > 0:02:00APPLAUSE
0:02:05 > 0:02:07I rest my case.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09I don't know what your antipathy to geese is.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I mean (foie gras)!
0:02:12 > 0:02:14What did you just say to me?
0:02:14 > 0:02:15- WHISPERS:- Foie gras.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- Huh?- Oh, foie gras! I thought you said something else then.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Yeah, I thought...
0:02:19 > 0:02:21LAUGHTER
0:02:21 > 0:02:22What time does this show go out?
0:02:24 > 0:02:25I mean, geese are not all bad.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Are you talking about eating geese, in terms of, like..?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Oh, goose is good.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Yeah, but like, Heston, you could probably make something
0:02:33 > 0:02:35that tastes like a goose that isn't a goose.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Put some paprika in a duck.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45We did this Christmas show where we took a goose
0:02:45 > 0:02:47and decided to feed it Christmas tree.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Not a whole Christmas tree?
0:02:50 > 0:02:51No, it was pine essential oil.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Is that why they swim like that?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55- It's the Christmas tree formation. - Yeah!
0:02:56 > 0:02:58You fed it Christmas tree?! Wow.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01We made this feed and we thought, if we thought it was nice,
0:03:01 > 0:03:04and then the geese ate it, then it would be really nice to eat.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08So we did it for about two months before they killed the goose.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11How did you kill it? Did it choke on a bauble?
0:03:11 > 0:03:13No, I didn't have anything to do with that,
0:03:13 > 0:03:15but I had to go and choose the goose.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19I had to go into this pen, and this flipping thing went for me,
0:03:19 > 0:03:22and it hissed, and its neck went forward, and it...
0:03:22 > 0:03:25What you need, you needed one of these.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28DUCK QUACK
0:03:29 > 0:03:33I can hear them hitting the window at the back of the building!
0:03:36 > 0:03:40What's amazing about this though, is if you hear geese fly over,
0:03:40 > 0:03:43they all have a great variety of sounds.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46It's amazing. I've tried to recreate this for people
0:03:46 > 0:03:48who don't live in goose country.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54DIFFERENTLY PITCHED SQUEAKING
0:03:54 > 0:03:57LAUGHTER
0:03:58 > 0:03:59Anyone who switches on now,
0:03:59 > 0:04:01they'll think this is Tubular Bells live.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09One of my problems with geese is they nearly killed Rod Stewart.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Are you aware of this?- No.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14This was quite a big news story. Anyone?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Are you thinking about Rod Hull?- No!
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- No, not him.- No?
0:04:22 > 0:04:25There it is, look. "Rod cheats death in jet terror."
0:04:25 > 0:04:28So you see the headline. You think, "I wonder what happened",
0:04:28 > 0:04:32and then it says, "Star tells of fear as goose hits engine".
0:04:34 > 0:04:37I once went to an audience with Rod Stewart,
0:04:37 > 0:04:40and you know they used to have all the questions set up in advance?
0:04:40 > 0:04:43And he said, "No, no, I just want to do it spontaneously.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46"I don't want celebrities at the front, I want them at the back.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49"I just want the public. I want real questions".
0:04:49 > 0:04:51So he did a couple of songs. Brilliant.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53He said to this guy, "Got a question?"
0:04:53 > 0:04:56The guy said, "Yeah, why don't you make good albums like you used to in the '70s?"
0:04:56 > 0:04:59LAUGHTER
0:05:02 > 0:05:04You know they have teeth as well.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Where?
0:05:06 > 0:05:10They have teeth, not only in their beak but also on their tongue.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Oh, I hate them so much.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Ugh!
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Oh, my God! Right. I've won the round.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20There's no way I've not won.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Look at that.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24APPLAUSE
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Also, if you ever feed bread to ducks,
0:05:29 > 0:05:32a goose always comes along and bullies everyone.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33Just bullies everyone.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Everyone's got to step back. The goose is gobbling it all.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41That's how it eats.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Like that. Who eats like that?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Just vibrating their whole head, all the way down the neck,
0:05:45 > 0:05:49then walks away thinking, "Nailed that. Everyone thinks I'm cool".
0:05:49 > 0:05:51No-one thinks you're cool, goose.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54Anyway...
0:05:56 > 0:05:57..onto Kirsty.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Men who wear too much aftershave.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Imagine you're on an early flight from Glasgow to London,
0:06:11 > 0:06:15and you're beside this guy, and he is wearing overpowering aftershave.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18And, what's more, the reason he's wearing overpowering aftershave
0:06:18 > 0:06:20is he hasn't bothered to shower.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- Early morning, this is not a good look.- Mmm.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26And it got me thinking about aftershave,
0:06:26 > 0:06:28and I don't know if any of you remember,
0:06:28 > 0:06:31but do you remember when Brut 33 was the thing that everybody wore,
0:06:31 > 0:06:33men and women?
0:06:33 > 0:06:36But it was advertised by Henry Cooper and Kevin Keegan,
0:06:36 > 0:06:39neither of whom you could say were handsome chaps.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44So people were obviously not wearing it because they thought
0:06:44 > 0:06:46they could be like them - they just liked the smell.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49But now, men put on things like, well, you know ...
0:06:49 > 0:06:52David Beckham advertises it.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53- Brad Pitt.- Mmm.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55David Gandy.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Yes.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58Frank Skinner.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59No, I really ...
0:06:59 > 0:07:03I mean, really, who possibly can think they would be like them,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05just because they wear that aftershave?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- It is so horrible.- I can...
0:07:08 > 0:07:11I have to say, Heston is wearing a tinge of something.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15I'm not quite sure. I think it's a very upmarket one.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I think it's one designed for, kind of, sexual allure.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25I thought Heston would go for, sort of, salt and vinegar.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27LAUGHTER
0:07:28 > 0:07:32I like to look - I've played this game with friends.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Celebrities.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38Which male celebrities do you think slap on a lot of old cologne,
0:07:38 > 0:07:40just from looking at them?
0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Daniel Craig. - Daniel Craig, very probably.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45- Paul Hollywood.- Yes.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48- Ooh, yes. - I think that's a good call. Yes.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50I've always thought Pierce Brosnan.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52- Yeah.- Ooh.
0:07:52 > 0:07:57That slightly squinty eyes is him thinking, "Phew!"
0:08:02 > 0:08:05See, how many men in the audience wear aftershave?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07None!
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Come on.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10I'm sorry. That's just not true, is it?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- How many wear cologne?- Woo!
0:08:13 > 0:08:16That man wears cologne. Have you got it on now?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18I'm just going to check this guy out.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25You look like a dog greeting someone!
0:08:28 > 0:08:29Not quite.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34I couldn't smell a damn thing. You've been done.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Have you got the word "cologne" mixed up with the word "lager"?
0:08:42 > 0:08:47I tell you what the worst ever slogan for any man's smelly thing,
0:08:47 > 0:08:50was when they brought out the 007 brand.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54They cashed in on, you know, James Bond being absolutely massive.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58Watch out for their lovely slogan.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03There's a 007 gift set for every assignment.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05This one packs the full line,
0:09:05 > 0:09:08including 007 aftershave, hairdressing and cologne.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10That's 007,
0:09:10 > 0:09:12for the licence to kill...
0:09:12 > 0:09:13women.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- I rest my case!- Yes!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- "Licence" spelt wrong.- Yes.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27I'm glad that's your only objection!
0:09:30 > 0:09:33OK, so let's see what Heston has gone for.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39People that put milk in tea first.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42- Me!- Oh, I got a "me" then. That's a good start.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44One bloke.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45What's the problem?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48I have to say that I am one of these people.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Where do I start?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52If someone is going to whack a teabag in a mug,
0:09:52 > 0:09:54and you pour milk in first,
0:09:54 > 0:09:57it doesn't pull out the flavour of the teabag as much.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58You've had that.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Yeah, because it's not boiling.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Tea, cold milk, tea, pour the water in.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05The water is not hot enough to start with, which is where it comes from.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08It originates when tea was...
0:10:08 > 0:10:11So, Cutty Sark days, that was what the Cutty Sark did.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13It transported tea.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Biggest taxes in Britain at the time were on tea.- Yes.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19We've gone into the history of tea here, which is...
0:10:19 > 0:10:21But what happened was it was considered...
0:10:21 > 0:10:24They might not look like they've got homes, but many of them have.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26APPLAUSE
0:10:26 > 0:10:30- Because tea was a prized thing.- Yes.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33It was drunk in china cups, pure bone china cups,
0:10:33 > 0:10:35and they were incredibly delicate.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38So if the water was too hot and you poured it into the cup they'd break.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41- I see.- So what they did was pour a bit of milk in first,
0:10:41 > 0:10:46to protect the cup from breaking, and that's where it came from.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49But I always feel I'm giving the teabag a bit of a treat
0:10:49 > 0:10:51to put it in milk.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55It's a bit like, you know Cleopatra used to bathe in asses' milk?
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I see it lying there like that.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01I get very involved with, you know if I ever use, like,
0:11:01 > 0:11:05soluble tablets, I always feel for them, because I think
0:11:05 > 0:11:08they're coming out the packet and think, "Wow, this looks great.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10"Oh, swimming. Argh!"
0:11:12 > 0:11:17I also find, if you don't do that, if you put the milk into the tea,
0:11:17 > 0:11:22- you get that sort of scummy stuff on the surface.- No, you don't.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- You really do. - If you put warm milk in...
0:11:24 > 0:11:26I proved this today. Other people doubted me.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30This was the surface of my tea, having put the milk in second.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32- No, no.- That is true. That's real.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Every morning I make a cup of tea.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37I drink probably 10, 15 cups a day.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- Do you?- Up to 20. I've never ever had that.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41Everyone has gone quiet!
0:11:41 > 0:11:44- You've never had that? - It's like a revelation.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47It's like you've just said you've got a drug addiction.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51Everyone went, "Oh, my God. Heston's on 15 a day".
0:11:51 > 0:11:53This has become an intervention now.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55What do you see in that?
0:11:55 > 0:12:00I see the Very Hungry Caterpillar flying over Cyprus.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02That's what I see.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06How do you know - when you pour the tea out of a teapot,
0:12:06 > 0:12:08if somebody puts the milk in first,
0:12:08 > 0:12:10you don't know how strong the tea is.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- That's the excitement! - If you put it in first...
0:12:13 > 0:12:16The whole excitement is guessing how much milk to put in.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18You know, some people bungee jump...
0:12:18 > 0:12:20LAUGHTER
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Some people have a gap year in war-torn territories.
0:12:23 > 0:12:24I put the milk in first.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Can I make a point as well?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30You can walk into the cheapest, nastiest cafe in Britain
0:12:30 > 0:12:32and get a beautiful cup of tea.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34If you walk into a posh restaurant,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37like what Heston Blumenthal has, it's always horrible.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Don't get me wrong. I've been to Heston's restaurant,
0:12:46 > 0:12:48and the food is absolutely incredible.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Absolutely incredible.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53But, you know, I didn't even bother ordering the tea.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54I knew it would be terrible.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57You get tea in some posh restaurants.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01They bring hot water here, teabag here.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03It's like a kit!
0:13:04 > 0:13:06It's not IKEA.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08I want them to make it for me, is the idea.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Do you wish you had someone to do it, a flunky to do it for you?
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Well, if I'm in a restaurant, paying,
0:13:15 > 0:13:18I think somebody could knock it together for me before it arrives.
0:13:18 > 0:13:23They don't bring me raw pork chops and a Calor Gas stove.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26- That would be his place. - Ah, that's...
0:13:26 > 0:13:30APPLAUSE
0:13:30 > 0:13:35My mum would put two spoonfuls of sugar in every cup of tea
0:13:35 > 0:13:38she ever made, and if anyone came round the house she'd give them
0:13:38 > 0:13:40a cup of tea and say, "Do you take sugar?"
0:13:40 > 0:13:43and if they said no, she'd say, "Don't stir it".
0:13:43 > 0:13:45LAUGHTER
0:13:45 > 0:13:52Anyway, I don't feel you argued your case as well as you could
0:13:52 > 0:13:54about milk going in first.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56It's something I've done for a long time,
0:13:56 > 0:14:00and I thought you were dismissive of my surface scum.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01That was an old cup of tea.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06And, er, geese.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09With geese, they are nasty little things,
0:14:09 > 0:14:12but the fact that they have all these magical things
0:14:12 > 0:14:14which allows them to fly in a V formation,
0:14:14 > 0:14:17I'll forgive them almost anything for that.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19The Nazis were organised!
0:14:19 > 0:14:22LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Look, it's too late to change your choice now.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33LAUGHTER
0:14:35 > 0:14:41But, I don't understand why men need to smell like these strange,
0:14:41 > 0:14:45weird musk and spirulina mixtures.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47It's just wrong.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51I am going to put men who wear too much aftershave into Room 101.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54APPLAUSE
0:15:03 > 0:15:04OK.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06BELL RINGS
0:15:06 > 0:15:09What is up Kirsty's sleeve?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Plastic flowers.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15APPLAUSE
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Oh, please!
0:15:18 > 0:15:23Plastic flowers are a total failure of imagination.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27They remind me of every bad bed and breakfast I've ever been in.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Plastic flowers, nylon sheets,
0:15:29 > 0:15:32and in the lavatory, over the loo roll,
0:15:32 > 0:15:37a knitted lady with a Barbie coming out the top.
0:15:37 > 0:15:38That's what they represent.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42And I've been in a crematorium where there's plastic flowers.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45A friend of mine has been at a wedding where she was a bridesmaid
0:15:45 > 0:15:47and there were plastic flowers!
0:15:47 > 0:15:51I mean, they're just so, so...
0:15:51 > 0:15:56- I can't even be in a room with them. I find them offensive.- Wow.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00I'm sure you're not...
0:16:01 > 0:16:04You're not including these, are you?
0:16:05 > 0:16:07But they do a dance, don't they?
0:16:07 > 0:16:10They'll dance to me. They'll dance to me talking.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13They'll dance to me doing the William Tell Overture
0:16:13 > 0:16:15on my fingers and thumbs. Here we go.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19HE CLICKS AND CLAPS RHYTHM
0:16:22 > 0:16:23Now, come on!
0:16:23 > 0:16:26APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Loves the applause, that one.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40I'm switching this off. It's starting to terrify me.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43They just seem incredibly tired and forlorn and sad.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47I think that's what I hate about plastic flowers more than anything.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49They are just sad, and saddos have them.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:16:52 > 0:16:55APPLAUSE
0:16:57 > 0:17:00What about waxed fruit? How do you feel about that?
0:17:00 > 0:17:01I don't like waxed fruit.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02Consistent.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06See?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09How do you feel... This is the key question for me,
0:17:09 > 0:17:13because I'm kind of, you know when you go to the greengrocers,
0:17:13 > 0:17:19and you get that synthetic grass with the vegetables on it,
0:17:19 > 0:17:22just to make the vegetables and fruit feel at home.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25What do you think about that, Kirsty?
0:17:25 > 0:17:26I don't like that.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- You don't like this stuff? - No. I don't like that.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- I like this stuff so much.- Oh, no.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34No, really.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36I don't think you'll like this then, Kirsty.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38LAUGHTER
0:17:50 > 0:17:51What do you think?
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- There's a certain je ne c'est quoi. - Feel that. Come on!
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Yeah. Eh?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Imagine a couple of parsnips lying across that.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03That's a chat-up line I haven't used before.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08- She will not be won over, Kirsty. - I will not be won over.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10I sense that.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Right. You argue your case well there.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16So, let us go to Heston's choice.
0:18:19 > 0:18:24- It's food that doesn't taste as good as you remember.- Oh.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27We have foods that we used to love as kids,
0:18:27 > 0:18:30and then sometimes you get to try them,
0:18:30 > 0:18:34you've haven't tried them for years, and they just don't taste the same.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37It's not necessarily about the food changing.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40It's the fact that our memory, when we were a kid...
0:18:40 > 0:18:42So, the excitement of an ice cream from an ice cream van,
0:18:42 > 0:18:47- you know, we're that big, so everything seems massive.- Mmm.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49And the same thing happens when you get older.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51For example, you've got a long weekend and you go to
0:18:51 > 0:18:55the Loire Valley, and you're sitting by the river with your missus
0:18:55 > 0:18:59and you're having lunch and the sun is just shimmering on the water.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Grass is softly waving in the wind, in the warm breeze.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Paint a lovely picture.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07And then you've got the ice bucket. The bottle goes in.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10The chink of the ice cubes, pop of the cork, pour the wine,
0:19:10 > 0:19:12and you taste it, and you go,
0:19:12 > 0:19:15"My God, I've never tasted Muscadet like this before.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16"It's fantastic".
0:19:16 > 0:19:18So what do you do?
0:19:18 > 0:19:19You buy 75 cases,
0:19:19 > 0:19:23strap them to your car and then drive back.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26And then you invite all your gastronomic friends
0:19:26 > 0:19:28and your boss over and you think,
0:19:28 > 0:19:30"This is going to surprise them so much",
0:19:30 > 0:19:34and then you pour the wine and you taste it and go, "This is horrible".
0:19:34 > 0:19:36That's like holiday romances.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39LAUGHTER
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Yes...
0:19:41 > 0:19:46I don't invite the friends around, but I mean apart from that...
0:19:46 > 0:19:50I don't drink, but I'm sure if I did drink now it wouldn't be like I...
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Well, I don't remember it, so ...
0:19:52 > 0:19:55It's the same with the foods that you remember as a kid
0:19:55 > 0:19:57that were so exciting.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59You know, we just kind of assume that they've changed the food
0:19:59 > 0:20:01- or they've changed the recipe.- Mmm.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04But there's such a ritualization with food.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05So if you look at, say, a Kit Kat,
0:20:05 > 0:20:08- a Kit Kat used to have the silver foil round it.- Yeah.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11And then the paper wrapper, and there was a whole ritual,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14some people would rub their fingers over to get the imprint of "Kit Kat"
0:20:14 > 0:20:15- through the foil.- Oh, yeah.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19Or running your nail between the two and snapping it.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- Some people take the chocolate off first.- Me.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Can I say, children,
0:20:22 > 0:20:27this is what middle-aged people talk about after you've gone to bed.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29LAUGHTER
0:20:29 > 0:20:33So you can change the taste of a food by the temperature of a room,
0:20:33 > 0:20:36by the colour of the room, by the sounds you hear.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38You can speed people's eating by up to 15%
0:20:38 > 0:20:40by playing loud rock music.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42That would explain Meat Loaf.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46LAUGHTER
0:20:46 > 0:20:52- I find that certain things, for example, Toblerone...- Yeah.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Toblerone are as dangerous now
0:20:54 > 0:20:56as they were when I was eating them as a child.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59I have never eaten a Toblerone without some bruising.
0:20:59 > 0:21:04I actually got a finger wedged in a Toblerone,
0:21:04 > 0:21:07between two adjacent pyramids.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Actually wedged there.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14I had to wait for it to melt to get some...
0:21:14 > 0:21:15LAUGHTER
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Do you know about the bear? Toblerone bear?
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Every single bar of Toblerone, there is a shadow of a bear.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- What?- Every single bar of Toblerone, every single bar,
0:21:27 > 0:21:29there is a shadow of a bear.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33I've eaten Toblerone all my life and I've never known that.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36That's thrown you, hasn't it?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39It's funny you should mention that, Heston,
0:21:39 > 0:21:41because it just so happens
0:21:41 > 0:21:43we have a picture of that very same phenomenon.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Yeah.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52JAMES MIMICS EXPLOSION
0:21:54 > 0:21:57So, what about James' choice?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06LAUGHTER
0:22:08 > 0:22:11I realise now I actually misread your choice.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- You can't not like the shot put, can you?- Oh, I can.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23Who here is a fan of the shot put?
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Woo! Yay!
0:22:24 > 0:22:25One guy...
0:22:25 > 0:22:27and he's a liar.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Here's the problem. At the Olympics everyone does their stuff.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35It's amazing - you see people doing things, you go, "I couldn't do that.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37"That looks incredible".
0:22:37 > 0:22:39The shot put, it just looks rubbish.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41They throw it.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45Literally, he's here, and he throws it, and it lands...there.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49And I know it's heavy, but I've never held a shot put,
0:22:49 > 0:22:52so I don't know how heavy it actually is, so I've got no context.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56All I'm seeing on TV is someone throw a ball a little way.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00There's a certain method, though.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03You have to hold it tight to your chin and straighten the arm.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04- Yeah, you've got to do that.- Yeah.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07How's that fun?
0:23:07 > 0:23:10The Berlin 1938 Olympics, got a big cheer every time.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13LAUGHTER
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Let's have a look.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17This is a shot putter called Leila Rajabi.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21I think she's the one on the right.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24LAUGHTER
0:23:24 > 0:23:27But you have to admire the amount of effort, surely,
0:23:27 > 0:23:29that's going into that?
0:23:29 > 0:23:32I'm sure, as an Olympian, or as a shot putter,
0:23:32 > 0:23:36- it is very hard and you've got to train a long time for it.- Yes.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40But as a spectator, no-one is watching that going,
0:23:40 > 0:23:42"Oh!
0:23:42 > 0:23:46"Nearly as good as last time that man threw the ball a little way".
0:23:48 > 0:23:53On the subject of the weight, for a man, the shot put is 7.2kg,
0:23:53 > 0:23:55which is...you'll like this.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58It's the size of an average size dachshund.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Now that sounds much more enjoyable.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Yeah. Instantly a better sport!
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Throw it into a big hotdog roll.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11And the female one is 4kg,
0:24:11 > 0:24:17which is the equivalent to the average weight of a domestic cat.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19I like that.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21- A domestic cat would work better in the hammer.- Yeah.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23If you had the room, of course.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29What I wish we had, of course, what would be ideal,
0:24:29 > 0:24:33is if we had some fabulous shot putter to come on.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Say, the only British woman to have ever won
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- an international shot put medal. - Oh, Jesus.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Someone like, er, Sophie McKinna. Here she is, Sophie McKinna!
0:24:42 > 0:24:44APPLAUSE
0:24:53 > 0:24:55This is James.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56Hello, Sophie McKinna.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Hi, James. Nice to meet you.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01What we thought is the best way to settle this
0:25:01 > 0:25:05is if you and Sophie have a contest.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Great idea!
0:25:07 > 0:25:10You're all right with a big lead weight flying over?
0:25:11 > 0:25:15No, what we are going to do, we're going to use a tangerine,
0:25:15 > 0:25:17a small tangerine.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Are you all right with chucking a tangerine?
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- Of course, yeah. Give it a go. - You..!
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Hold on.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29I have a... I'm going to let you choose your weapons.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31What we need is a shot circle.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- You know the thing that they swing...?- Yeah.
0:25:34 > 0:25:35Here it comes.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38I'm afraid to go anywhere near her because I feel I've made her angry.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45So if anyone can catch the tangerine they'll get a special prize.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- Would you like to choose your ... - You first.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53Choose your tangerine.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Oh, come on.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57He's weighing them!
0:25:57 > 0:25:58Yeah, straight in, Sophie.
0:26:00 > 0:26:01- Have I got to do the..?- Yeah.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- Do you want a bit of advice from Sophie?- Yeah, give me a pointer.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06- Are you right-handed?- Yeah.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09- So put your left foot against the stop board, like that.- Yeah.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Then stand your right foot astride.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Bring it forward a little bit to mine. Yeah.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Then tangerine tight in your neck.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18- There?- And then... Yeah. ..bend your right knee,
0:26:18 > 0:26:20and bring your shoulders back to me. No, like this.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23LAUGHTER
0:26:24 > 0:26:26And your head this way as well.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- Yeah.- And then obviously turn and throw.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Here we go. Get ready to catch.
0:26:32 > 0:26:33OK.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Ready?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Whoa!
0:26:39 > 0:26:41That was pretty good.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43APPLAUSE
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Who did that land next to?
0:26:48 > 0:26:49Yes.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52This lady. So, you're the official marker.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Thank you so much. So it's over to Sophie.
0:26:58 > 0:26:59Feel a bit pressured now.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Whoa!
0:27:03 > 0:27:06APPLAUSE
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Has it actually landed yet?
0:27:19 > 0:27:22I'm hoping you two can shake hands and agree to differ on this one.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24And a massive hand for Sophie McKinna!
0:27:24 > 0:27:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Cheers, Sophie. Thanks a lot.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Anyway, I think you'd agree after that
0:27:40 > 0:27:42we can't possibly put the shot put in.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45I mean, that was just a spectacular thing,
0:27:45 > 0:27:48and it's just made me a big fan of the sport now.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53Um, food that doesn't... Yeah, it's difficult, that, isn't it?
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Because it is a terrible disappointment.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57I don't think I can put plastic flowers in,
0:27:57 > 0:28:00because I remember when they were invented,
0:28:00 > 0:28:02or when it seemed like they got popular,
0:28:02 > 0:28:04and, you know, they were in chip shops and things.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Places where normal flowers would have perished.
0:28:07 > 0:28:12I'm going to put food that doesn't taste like we remember it tasting
0:28:12 > 0:28:13into Room 101.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16APPLAUSE
0:28:25 > 0:28:27That brings us to the end of the show.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30Well done, James, you were this week's most persuasive guest,
0:28:30 > 0:28:31so you are the winner.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Thanks very much, James Acaster, Kirsty Wark
0:28:38 > 0:28:40and Heston Blumenthal, and thank you. Good night!
0:29:07 > 0:29:10Anyone want a tangerine?