0:00:26 > 0:00:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Hello, I'm Frank Skinner,
0:00:32 > 0:00:35and welcome to a special edition of Room 101
0:00:35 > 0:00:37featuring some of the best moments from the series
0:00:37 > 0:00:40and loads of brilliant stuff which you haven't seen before.
0:00:40 > 0:00:41Enjoy.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47I don't have to watch this stuff, do I?
0:00:47 > 0:00:50LAUGHTER
0:00:50 > 0:00:52OK, Greg's choice.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Hotel check-in, check-out.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01APPLAUSE
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Shall I say it again? Because I missed the "and" out. It's weird.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07OK.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Hotel, checking in and checking out. I've said it weird again.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12LAUGHTER
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Hotel check-in and check-out.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:23 > 0:01:25LAUGHTER
0:01:25 > 0:01:28You're going to have to give me more.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30It seems a harmless activity.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34I want to make it absolutely clear - I'm not having a pop at the people
0:01:34 > 0:01:36who check you in or check you out at hotels.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38People who've welcomed me to hotels
0:01:38 > 0:01:40and out of them have always been very lovely.
0:01:40 > 0:01:45- Mm.- It's the process, and it's how long it takes.
0:01:45 > 0:01:51I don't understand why I have to stand for hours
0:01:51 > 0:01:54watching someone type.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56I've booked a hotel.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59I've given all of my details when I booked the hotel,
0:01:59 > 0:02:02so when I arrive, this is what should happen.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04"Hello." "Hello."
0:02:04 > 0:02:06"What is your name?" "It's Greg Davies."
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- HE IMITATES KEYBOARD TAPPING - "Ah, here's your key.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12- "It's up there." - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- I don't know what... - HE IMITATES KEYBOARD TAPPING
0:02:18 > 0:02:20"Can you fill this form in?" "No, I've given you the details."
0:02:20 > 0:02:23"Oh, all right, then."
0:02:23 > 0:02:26It took me years of standing there watching
0:02:26 > 0:02:27until I finally looked behind.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- She didn't have a keyboard. - LAUGHTER
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- She had little castanets. - LAUGHTER
0:02:36 > 0:02:40And checking out, I've stopped checking out,
0:02:40 > 0:02:41and I encourage...
0:02:41 > 0:02:45I want the nation to join me. You don't have to check out.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- No.- What?- I agree.- I agree.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50I walk past the desk with my card, I put it on the side,
0:02:50 > 0:02:53and you can see them go...
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Ready with the castanets, and I go, "Goodbye."
0:02:56 > 0:02:58- LAUGHTER - "Are you checking out?"
0:02:58 > 0:02:59And I go, "I just have!"
0:02:59 > 0:03:02LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Well, let's see what David has chosen.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13- My South African accent. - LAUGHTER
0:03:14 > 0:03:17APPLAUSE
0:03:17 > 0:03:21As part of my day job, which is pretending to be other people,
0:03:21 > 0:03:25I do occasionally have to assume another accent,
0:03:25 > 0:03:29and usually, with a bit of practice and a bit of time,
0:03:29 > 0:03:33I can make a decent fist of most of them,
0:03:33 > 0:03:36but my Becher's Brook, my Waterloo...
0:03:36 > 0:03:40- LAUGHTER - ..is the South African accent.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42I don't know why it should be.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46I don't know what it is about it that is elusive to my ear,
0:03:46 > 0:03:49but I've tried and I've struggled and...
0:03:49 > 0:03:51- SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT: - I can start off all right
0:03:51 > 0:03:54and it's not too bad, but it doesn't take long and...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- MIDLANDS ACCENT: - ..suddenly I'm from Dudley.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58LAUGHTER
0:04:03 > 0:04:06We thought we might want to help you with this, David...
0:04:06 > 0:04:10- Right.- ..so we contacted a man called Paul Myer.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12He runs a thing called
0:04:12 > 0:04:15the International Dialects Of English Archive,
0:04:15 > 0:04:19and he thinks that he can teach, well, you and I,
0:04:19 > 0:04:20to do South African.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- Would you like to try? - I'd love to, yeah.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26If you'd like to join me on your... You can see your mark.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- I can.- Good on you. OK.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30OK. So, you've got to imagine now,
0:04:30 > 0:04:32instead of being set in the West Midlands,
0:04:32 > 0:04:35that suddenly we're in, um, Joburg.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36- OK.- And it's written as a...
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I don't know why I'm doing it as Nelson, but...
0:04:38 > 0:04:40LAUGHTER
0:04:40 > 0:04:44So, yeah. So it's phonetic. OK, let's go for it.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48"Well, ahff bet nyees fuh yew, Sem.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53"Ah em uh sigh-shuh-luhst."
0:04:53 > 0:04:55LAUGHTER
0:04:57 > 0:05:04"Well, yew maht uhss well chust guhff dah mahnuhss
0:05:04 > 0:05:10"duh geese duh duh Ruddy guntRee uhn lituhm git on wuhf uht."
0:05:10 > 0:05:12- LAUGHTER - That was good.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16- I think you've got...- Yeah.
0:05:16 > 0:05:22"Mmm, not uh bed ahdeeuh.
0:05:22 > 0:05:30"Ah math pRuh-piess uht et duh nix dee-yew-see gonfRuhnts."
0:05:30 > 0:05:32LAUGHTER AND CHEERING
0:05:34 > 0:05:36I have a feeling that if you played this backwards,
0:05:36 > 0:05:39it would sound absolutely fine.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41David Tennant, the South African actor.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:45 > 0:05:47And so, Katie's choice.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51- Parking.- Parking.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53APPLAUSE
0:05:56 > 0:06:00For one, it's always hard to find a space, and now,
0:06:00 > 0:06:02when you do find a space, say if you want to pop in somewhere
0:06:02 > 0:06:06for literally two minutes, you know, you can't even pay money now.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09You have to phone a number and then put in the code for where you are,
0:06:09 > 0:06:12and you spend ten minutes or whatever doing that,
0:06:12 > 0:06:13then giving your credit card,
0:06:13 > 0:06:15and then sometimes it's, "Oh, it didn't work."
0:06:15 > 0:06:18So, it's easier just to go in and get a parking ticket.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- It's just like... - LAUGHTER
0:06:20 > 0:06:22..why can't they just keep it old-fashioned,
0:06:22 > 0:06:25where you put your money in or make it a credit card machine?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28APPLAUSE
0:06:28 > 0:06:29And then some machines now,
0:06:29 > 0:06:32you have to put your registration in.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35I don't know my registration off the top of my head.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37So then, what do you do then?
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Look at the car. It's normally got it on the front and the back.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:06:45 > 0:06:46And Dartford Tunnel.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- LAUGHTER - You can't just pay.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52You now have to phone up before you go through that,
0:06:52 > 0:06:54and if you don't, then you get a £75 fine.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Are you saying that you occasionally park in the Dartford Tunnel?
0:06:58 > 0:07:01LAUGHTER
0:07:01 > 0:07:02If somebody lets you in...
0:07:02 > 0:07:04You know if there's a queue of traffic
0:07:04 > 0:07:06and somebody lets you in, how do you thank them,
0:07:06 > 0:07:07or do you not bother?
0:07:07 > 0:07:11Like that, or hazards. Or if they're behind me, hand up.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Bit of a smile?
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Well, my face don't really move, so I can't really get out a smile.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17LAUGHTER
0:07:19 > 0:07:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:23 > 0:07:24That's why I love you, Katie.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29So, what's Noel's choice?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- Spiders. - AUDIENCE MURMURS
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Ooh, that's... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:40 > 0:07:43- It was like they had a debate first. - I know.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45- "Shall we applaud?" - Whole gamut of emotions.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Yeah. So, why? Why spiders?
0:07:47 > 0:07:52Well, I recently went to Australia, and that was a whole other ballgame.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54I mean, I'm frightened of spiders here,
0:07:54 > 0:07:56but in Australia they are massive.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58I mean, literally, one picked me up at the airport...
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- LAUGHTER - ..in a taxi.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05It's still on your head. LAUGHTER
0:08:05 > 0:08:07APPLAUSE
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Quite good when we got to the hotel, though,
0:08:14 > 0:08:16- cos he picked up all my bags. - LAUGHTER
0:08:16 > 0:08:19But I mean, they're properly dangerous in Australia as well.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Yeah. They can kill you.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24You know, like, here in England, the thing is in England
0:08:24 > 0:08:26you do the sort of postcard/cup technique.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27You know, you try and trap...
0:08:27 > 0:08:29In Australia there was one, and this is a true story.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Me and my brother were sharing a hotel doing a Boosh tour
0:08:32 > 0:08:35and there was a huntsman, it's called.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38It literally was this big, right, on the wall,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41so we couldn't even get it in a mug.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I had to go to the kitchen and get a mixing bowl, yeah,
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- and we had to use an album. - LAUGHTER
0:08:47 > 0:08:50I used Abbey Road, right? This is a true story.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52And cos mixing bowls, they're see-through,
0:08:52 > 0:08:54they're sort of magnifying.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56So, it was that big anyway, and when I put the mixing bowl -
0:08:56 > 0:08:58its head was bigger than mine.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01I could see its cheekbones. It was awful.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04And so I slid the album underneath it and took it outside,
0:09:04 > 0:09:07and I put it out, and it didn't even just go in the bushes.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10It walked down the sidewalk like a man.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Like a man would.
0:09:11 > 0:09:16It just went off across the zebra crossing.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Must have got the idea from Abbey Road.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:09:23 > 0:09:24So bad.
0:09:27 > 0:09:28I used to like...
0:09:28 > 0:09:33Do you remember the Daddy Saddles you used to get, way back?
0:09:33 > 0:09:34We've got a picture.
0:09:34 > 0:09:39This was the box from one. LAUGHTER
0:09:39 > 0:09:44"Now every child's favourite game - 'Horsie' - comes to life!"
0:09:46 > 0:09:49So, I've got a Daddy Saddle.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51These are commercially available
0:09:51 > 0:09:53if there's any dads at home who want to wear one.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55And let me just work out...
0:09:55 > 0:09:59Yeah, so this goes through the arms.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00Is there any kids here?
0:10:00 > 0:10:02LAUGHTER
0:10:02 > 0:10:04And you bring this around...
0:10:06 > 0:10:11..and the stirrups are on the side...
0:10:11 > 0:10:13and so you can go round like this.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16What you get up to in the privacy of your own home is your business.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18LAUGHTER Do you want to try it?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- Do you want to try on my back? - No, I think Heston is your man.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- OK. Come on, Heston.- Heston's going to do it.- He likes adventure.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Oh! Oh! LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Come on.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32APPLAUSE CONTINUES
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Oh!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Whoa!
0:10:37 > 0:10:38So butch.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41Wow.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46And then there was the time I was ridden by Heston Blumenthal.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48LAUGHTER
0:10:50 > 0:10:55# I pull the levers that make the whole world sing... #
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Come on!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58# I pull the levers... #
0:10:58 > 0:11:00PENCIL SHARPENER BUZZES
0:11:00 > 0:11:01LAUGHTER Not bad.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07PANPIPES TUNE PLAYS
0:11:07 > 0:11:10- LAUGHTER - Were they in Room 101 already?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- What, the panpipes?- Yeah.- No.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14I call these my pun pipes,
0:11:14 > 0:11:17and if I do a very bad pun, I give these a bit of a...
0:11:17 > 0:11:20PANPIPES TUNE PLAYS
0:11:20 > 0:11:22TUNE CONTINUES
0:11:22 > 0:11:24AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS
0:11:29 > 0:11:32OK. What's winding up James?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Geese. - LAUGHTER
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Don't need to explain that, do I?
0:11:42 > 0:11:46Probably the worst of all the animals, I'd say.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Lairy, but unjustifiably lairy.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53I don't really believe a goose could handle itself,
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- but it fronts it all the time. - LAUGHTER
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Like, a swan, we know can break your arm,
0:11:58 > 0:12:01and geese are just like the people who hang out with the bigger kids.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Just go up to you, going, "Naah,"
0:12:03 > 0:12:05and you know you could punch it, but it's a goose.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- We have a clip, actually...- Oh, God.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13..of a man in a canoe enjoying a beautiful day's canoeing.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- Argh! - LAUGHTER
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- I rest my case. - LAUGHTER
0:12:35 > 0:12:37You know, they have teeth as well.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Where?
0:12:39 > 0:12:42They have teeth not only in their beak but also on their tongue.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Oh, I hate them so much.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Ugh!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Oh, my God. Right. I've won the round.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- LAUGHTER - There's no way I've not won.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- Look at that. - APPLAUSE
0:13:00 > 0:13:02They are nasty little things,
0:13:02 > 0:13:04but the fact that they have all these magical things
0:13:04 > 0:13:07which allows them to fly in a V formation,
0:13:07 > 0:13:09I'll forgive them almost anything for that.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- The Nazis were organised. - LAUGHTER
0:13:14 > 0:13:17APPLAUSE
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Look, it's too late to change your choice now.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25LAUGHTER
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Anyway, what's Claudia's choice?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- Skiing.- Wow. AUDIENCE MURMURS
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- Yeah. Oh, come on. We had a deal. - LAUGHTER
0:13:40 > 0:13:42You were going to be on my side.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45I only went once, but here's the thing.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47You have to wake up early.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49You put on genuinely
0:13:49 > 0:13:51the most disgusting clothes you've ever seen in your life.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Padded, multicoloured.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55This one's got a picture of a rat on it.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59This has got stripes AND circles. Anyway, salopettes.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Then you have to put on these massive things,
0:14:02 > 0:14:03which we shouldn't be wearing.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Huge metal things that you can't walk in.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Then you go on the ski lift.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10That alone is terrifying. The most terrifying...
0:14:10 > 0:14:12I was just like this, holding on.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Went round it for seven days. No, come on.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Then you physically exert yourself.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Why would anybody ever do that? You go down.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23It's incredibly dangerous. Slushy. Then you have to take it off.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26At the end, there's some sort of revolting alcohol that makes people,
0:14:26 > 0:14:28you know, throw up on their boots.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30I don't understand skiing.
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Why does anybody go skiing?
0:14:31 > 0:14:35It's a gazillion pounds. You smell of cheese.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40I mean, I admit, I do associate it with the super-cool
0:14:40 > 0:14:43and the super-beautiful, and that's why I sort of like it,
0:14:43 > 0:14:46because I like the idea of them putting themselves in grave danger.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49LAUGHTER
0:14:49 > 0:14:50But I've never been.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54It's always seemed like something that other people do, I must admit.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55- It's ridiculous.- Yeah.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57And it's all lip-gloss. They've all got lip-gloss on.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00SHE MUMBLES POSHLY
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Nobody spends any time with their kids.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- "In you go. In you go, Lucifer. - LAUGHTER
0:15:05 > 0:15:08"In you go. In you go.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10"Good luck. Don't break anything.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12- "Mummy's going up... - LAUGHTER
0:15:14 > 0:15:18"I'll bring him up. Feed him. Feed him. I'll bring him up later."
0:15:18 > 0:15:20SHE MUMBLES POSHLY
0:15:20 > 0:15:23It's for tools.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:31 > 0:15:33What's Russell's choice?
0:15:37 > 0:15:38Grumpy kids.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- APPLAUSE - Exactly, right?
0:15:41 > 0:15:42I was...
0:15:45 > 0:15:47I was in a restaurant the other day
0:15:47 > 0:15:49and I heard a child say, "Oh, Wagamama again?"
0:15:49 > 0:15:51LAUGHTER
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I used to lose my mind when I went to a Harvester.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Lose my mind. Go into school the next day.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00"Salad bar. Amazing.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04"I had an Italian dish called a la-sag-nea."
0:16:04 > 0:16:06They've got everything. They're whining.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09They've got wheels in their shoes, iPads, Sky Plus.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12If you'd have shown me Sky Plus when I was ten,
0:16:12 > 0:16:14I'd have thought you were a wizard, pausing the telly.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16And it could have been worse.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17You could've grown up in the '80s.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20The telly was awash with offenders and, you know...
0:16:20 > 0:16:24- LAUGHTER - It was, you know?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27And, like, think of the hours we played the recorder.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30The hours we did that. Have we ever needed it?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I've never been at a party, "I know what this needs."
0:16:32 > 0:16:34IMITATES RECORDER PLAYING TUNE
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Girls in the corner, "Do you know Little Donkey?"
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- "You know I do." - LAUGHTER
0:16:39 > 0:16:40We have a picture of you
0:16:40 > 0:16:42when you were a, I think, 12-year-old, Russell.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- Oh, really? OK. Oh, there you go. - LAUGHTER
0:16:45 > 0:16:47- Aw!- Aw!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49What a happy child.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51APPLAUSE
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Well, I haven't seen that for a long...
0:16:53 > 0:16:57I look a bit like Harry Potter's German pen pal.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I feel a bit sorry for kids now, though.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05I live in quite a sort of a posh bit of London,
0:17:05 > 0:17:08and I think the kids there just don't get enough sugar.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10LAUGHTER
0:17:10 > 0:17:14They ask for a Cornetto, they get a little box of raisins.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- That's not parenting.- Exactly. - LAUGHTER
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I remember... Like, remember Angel Delight?
0:17:20 > 0:17:22- Now there's a pudding.- Yes.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25You have one bite of that and you go, "I'm going on the roof."
0:17:25 > 0:17:27- LAUGHTER - And my sister -
0:17:27 > 0:17:30my sister has one of the greatest moments in the Howard family.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33My sister was eating Angel Delight, and she goes,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36"Dad, what's Angel Delight made of?" And my dad just went, "Dead angels."
0:17:36 > 0:17:39- LAUGHTER - That's parenting.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Me and my brother were like, "This is the best day ever!"
0:17:45 > 0:17:48So, what's winding up Aisling?
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Twins.
0:17:54 > 0:17:59Yeah, twins, but not just any. Identical twins.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04- OK.- They freak me out. - LAUGHTER
0:18:04 > 0:18:05You never know.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08They're the natural sort of tricksters of the world
0:18:08 > 0:18:10because they've grown up knowing they can con people,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13and when you're on a date with one, you're never sure
0:18:13 > 0:18:15if it's that one or his brother's crept in through the window
0:18:15 > 0:18:18during one of the starters or main courses.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22Very trickstery. Just don't trust them.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26It's not that I want to put identical twins into Room 101.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28I just want to put one of them...
0:18:28 > 0:18:31LAUGHTER
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- APPLAUSE - You know?
0:18:39 > 0:18:43What shocks me about this is with you being Irish,
0:18:43 > 0:18:46you come from the home of the most lovable identical twins
0:18:46 > 0:18:48- in the world.- Well, yes.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51And you know, I knew you'd bring that up.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Twins have been very important to the Irish music industry.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57You know, Jedward, the two in B*Witched, and, you know,
0:18:57 > 0:19:01Bono and Enya, who are, uh... They're actually twins as well.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04- Didn't know that. - Yeah, yeah. Enya is the boy.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06LAUGHTER
0:19:06 > 0:19:10So, they have been very important, but I still...
0:19:10 > 0:19:14I would give up all of that back catalogue of Jedward's music
0:19:14 > 0:19:16to get rid of twins.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17Wow.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20In case you don't know who Jedward is,
0:19:20 > 0:19:24- I think is the right grammatical term...- Yeah.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26..here they are. LAUGHTER
0:19:26 > 0:19:29What they need to do is, before they do a publicity shot,
0:19:29 > 0:19:32decide whether they're going to be happy or sad.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34LAUGHTER
0:19:36 > 0:19:38OK, what's Sam's choice?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Yeah, people who are too much into Batman.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- LAUGHTER - Just Batman stuff in general.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49I mean, if you're over the age of 14...
0:19:49 > 0:19:51There's nothing sadder than a 45-year-old man
0:19:51 > 0:19:53wearing a Batman shirt.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54Like, really.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56I have to tell you now,
0:19:56 > 0:20:01I am one of those blokes who grew up completely reading comic books
0:20:01 > 0:20:04and then carried on and loved Batman and Superman and...
0:20:04 > 0:20:05I'll be off.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08LAUGHTER No, don't go. Don't go, Sam.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10- I did have the Batman outfit in the '60s.- Yeah.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12The plastic head and the plastic cape, that one.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Well, my mum made me one.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17I used to wear jeans with my swimming trunks over the top.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19LAUGHTER But it was good.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21She made me a proper mask.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25And my cousin, he was Robin the Boy Wonder,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27but the thing is, we were just of an age
0:20:27 > 0:20:30where we were getting a bit too old to play-act,
0:20:30 > 0:20:32so we just used to sit around in the park dressed as...
0:20:32 > 0:20:35LAUGHTER
0:20:35 > 0:20:38It was like Batman and Robin, but, you know, off duty.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Can I maybe try and tempt you with some other superheroes
0:20:42 > 0:20:44that you may not have heard of?
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Perhaps one of the greatest one was this guy,
0:20:47 > 0:20:50who had a unique method for fighting the bad guys.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53LAUGHTER
0:20:53 > 0:20:57This guy could detach his limbs
0:20:57 > 0:20:58and use them
0:20:58 > 0:21:02as dull objects to hit people with.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04But look at the armpit.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07He seems to have had his arm socket upholstered.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09LAUGHTER
0:21:09 > 0:21:13It's like he's part-Chesterfield. LAUGHTER
0:21:13 > 0:21:17And this is a genuine hero, and do you know what his name was?
0:21:17 > 0:21:18Any guesses?
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Limb Man.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21That's better than the real one.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23He was called Arm-Fall-Off-Boy.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25- LAUGHTER - Oh, come off it!- He was!
0:21:28 > 0:21:32I'll show you something that might just win you over.
0:21:32 > 0:21:38This is a pug dog whose owner claims that it can say "Batman".
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- DOG YELPS:- Batman! Batman!
0:21:45 > 0:21:47LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Yeah, that's all right.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51Am I winning you over, Sam?
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Yeah. I like Bat Pug. That's all right.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59I tell you what, I've got a soft spot for clingfilm,
0:21:59 > 0:22:00because when I was a drinking man,
0:22:00 > 0:22:02I used to have this trick that I did.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05You know when you get, like, a bread roll in the pub
0:22:05 > 0:22:07and it's got clingfilm on it?
0:22:07 > 0:22:12So, what I used to do is I'd take the clingfilm and string it out.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14No-one would know this was happening,
0:22:14 > 0:22:16so I'd be doing it secretly under the table
0:22:16 > 0:22:20in a pub full of strangers, and I used to dip it in my beer
0:22:20 > 0:22:22to make it all gungy and cheeky,
0:22:22 > 0:22:27and then when I got it all stringy and horrible, I used to...
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Bear in mind, no-one has seen this. It's all secret.
0:22:30 > 0:22:31I used to stand up in the pub,
0:22:31 > 0:22:36and I'd turn my back like this, and go... Ah! Ah! Achoo!
0:22:36 > 0:22:37Oh!
0:22:39 > 0:22:42LAUGHTER
0:22:43 > 0:22:45APPLAUSE
0:22:52 > 0:22:54But it doesn't do what it's supposed to do.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56It is very good to put over a toilet at a party.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59LAUGHTER I've never done that.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01- I've never done that. - That's a lot of fun, yeah.
0:23:01 > 0:23:06I understand it's bad for the environment.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08I've heard that said. Is that true?
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Surely if you covered the entire planet in clingfilm
0:23:11 > 0:23:14it would last longer. LAUGHTER
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Yeah, and be microwaveable.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Yeah.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20If you're watching, you can't put clingfilm in a microwave.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22- Can't you?- No, it melts.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- It's foil you can't put in. - No, it doesn't.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26You're thinking a cat.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28- Yeah. - LAUGHTER
0:23:32 > 0:23:34I've made such a fool of myself.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37I am thinking of cats.
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Well, look,
0:23:38 > 0:23:41now you're a man who's at the very centre of the food world.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43I had an idea.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46I thought what we needed was clingfilm
0:23:46 > 0:23:48that's got a bit more character.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49- Now, that...- That's lovely.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52That's beautiful. I'm calling it bling film.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55LAUGHTER
0:23:55 > 0:23:57I find cooked vegetables,
0:23:57 > 0:24:00you put them in this and they sparkle.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02I call it vegazzling.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05LAUGHTER
0:24:06 > 0:24:11OK. So, what is John's choice?
0:24:17 > 0:24:19AUDIENCE WHOOPS
0:24:19 > 0:24:21RUSSELL WHOOPS
0:24:23 > 0:24:26- Go, Johnny! Go, Johnny! - I've lost already, haven't I?- No!
0:24:26 > 0:24:30It's all over. Whooping in audiences.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32- Shall I leave now?- No.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33- That was ironic.- Come on.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36- That was pretty good by the audience.- It was.- Fair play.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39I'll say. Look, it's awful. Do you know what?
0:24:39 > 0:24:40You're not going to believe this.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44It'll shock you to the very core of your being, Frank, my dear fellow.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Gardeners' Question Time on Radio 4.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- Hallowed institution. Any of you listen to it?- Yes.
0:24:50 > 0:24:51Of course you do.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Whoo!
0:24:52 > 0:24:55LAUGHTER
0:24:55 > 0:24:58APPLAUSE
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- I'm so regretting this. - LAUGHTER
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- I know Shaun's been looking forward to this one.- Oh, yeah.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Well, I'm definitely not going to win this, am I?
0:25:12 > 0:25:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Football talk and all the fools that write songs about it.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30What don't you like about football talk?
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Oh, come on. It's broken biscuits. It's gaga.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37It's just... It's just... It doesn't even make sense.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40"Down the middle! Down the middle, Rooney. What? Oh!"
0:25:41 > 0:25:45"Van Gaal, Van Gaal, bluh, bluh!"
0:25:45 > 0:25:46"Did you watch the game?"
0:25:46 > 0:25:48"Oh, listened to it. Listened to it. They went down.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51"They scored, they scored, they scored. I turned it off."
0:25:51 > 0:25:53It's just...
0:25:53 > 0:25:55- No, don't.- ..bluh! - LAUGHTER
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Do you know what? I walk away from them.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01I walk away from anything that... I got in the taxi, right, in Camden.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05I jumped in. The geezer goes, "So, where are we?"
0:26:05 > 0:26:07I went, "Where are we? You're a taxi driver in Camden."
0:26:07 > 0:26:11He went, "No, in the league! In the league! Come on, you Reds!"
0:26:11 > 0:26:14How the bleeding hell should I know? Do I look like a football fan?
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Well, hold on a minute. LAUGHTER
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Why don't we talk about science fiction movies or something,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26or Clint Eastwood films, you know?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28- Mm.- Something right-on.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Yeah.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32I must admit, I talk about both of those as well.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34- And you write songs...- Yes. - ..about it.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37- Yeah. I know. - You never shut up about it, Frank.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39LAUGHTER All right!
0:26:39 > 0:26:43You're going on a bit yourself! LAUGHTER
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Let's find out what's winding up Russell Kane.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52LAUGHTER
0:26:52 > 0:26:55WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:03 > 0:27:04This genuinely wasn't planned.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07This is one thing I would like to put in Room 101,
0:27:07 > 0:27:10is men who get grumpier with age.
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Now, we know that on the whole,
0:27:11 > 0:27:14women tend to be more emotionally connected than men.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16If they've got a problem they get friends over.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18"Hey, I got Claud over, got Tess over. We talked.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20"No solution, but we lit a candle.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22"I feel better just for talking about it." Right?
0:27:22 > 0:27:24LAUGHTER
0:27:24 > 0:27:27- Whereas men... - Because that's how it works.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Whereas men will be like, "I have a problem.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31"I'm going to hold it inside till it's a diamond,
0:27:31 > 0:27:32"then poo it out and die"...
0:27:32 > 0:27:34LAUGHTER
0:27:34 > 0:27:37..leaving behind a generation of women, relatively young these days,
0:27:37 > 0:27:39who then have to pretend to grieve.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41"How will I survive without the miserable sod? What a disaster."
0:27:41 > 0:27:44- LAUGHTER - "How will I go on
0:27:44 > 0:27:46"without Barry mocking my parking? How will I survive?
0:27:46 > 0:27:49"You can park forever in the crematorium. Goodbye, Barry."
0:27:49 > 0:27:51LAUGHTER
0:27:51 > 0:27:54- End of point. - LAUGHTER
0:27:54 > 0:27:57APPLAUSE
0:27:57 > 0:27:59LOUD CHEERING
0:27:59 > 0:28:03So, thank you to all our guests over the series,
0:28:03 > 0:28:04and thank you.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07CHEERING CONTINUES It's imposs... It's impossible!
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Come here! Come here!