0:00:21 > 0:00:26APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:31 > 0:00:35Hello, I'm Frank Skinner and welcome to Room 101.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37The show where three guests compete
0:00:37 > 0:00:38to get their pet hates
0:00:38 > 0:00:42exiled forever to the dark vault that is Room 101.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44They'll have to argue their case well
0:00:44 > 0:00:46because, in each round, only one item can be chosen.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48The final decision is mine.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Let's meet this week's guests.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Joining me tonight are remarkable man, Nigel Havers,
0:00:52 > 0:00:54remarkable nan, Catherine Tate,
0:00:54 > 0:00:56and remarkable tan, Rylan Clark-Neal.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58CHEERING
0:01:01 > 0:01:02I'll take it.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04I'll take that.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05BELL DINGS
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Let's get ready to grumble. LAUGHTER
0:01:07 > 0:01:10And let's see what's winding up Catherine.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Yes.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Minimiser bras. Now, look, I've got quite big boobs,
0:01:21 > 0:01:25and it's very difficult to find bras that are...
0:01:25 > 0:01:30sort of, nice and sexy looking, when they're holding up boulders.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35And when the Wonderbra sensation came out,
0:01:35 > 0:01:38the ladies with the opposite problem got this great invention,
0:01:38 > 0:01:42Wonderbra, because Wonderbras get your boobs,
0:01:42 > 0:01:43push them up - like this -
0:01:43 > 0:01:46and, aptly named,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48because I tried one on...
0:01:48 > 0:01:49I did wonder.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53I wondered where my face had gone, for a start.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Now, someone's had the temerity...
0:01:59 > 0:02:02..to bring out a bra that says to ladies with big boobs,
0:02:02 > 0:02:05"Not only have you got to diminish them,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08"we're going to make them this piece of underwear
0:02:08 > 0:02:10"so unattractive...
0:02:10 > 0:02:13"you're very unlikely to find a partner anyway."
0:02:13 > 0:02:17And if you do, it'd be much better if you kept your anorak on.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18And the way they do it,
0:02:18 > 0:02:20I don't think they've quite worked it through,
0:02:20 > 0:02:22is they've obviously gone,
0:02:22 > 0:02:25"Look, what we'll do is... get your boobs,
0:02:25 > 0:02:26"shove them under your arms."
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- And that's how they work. - APPLAUSE
0:02:33 > 0:02:36- So...- I'll be honest with you now.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37Did you not know they existed?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I did not know they existed.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42So I've researched the minimiser bra.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45I have some bullet points, but, um...
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I dare say it'll flatten those out.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52"The cup shape is designed with a wider diameter
0:02:52 > 0:02:55"and a shorter projection,
0:02:55 > 0:02:58"your malleable breast tissue is flattened
0:02:58 > 0:03:00"and moved more under your arms,
0:03:00 > 0:03:02"towards your centre cleavage,
0:03:02 > 0:03:06"up your chest and down towards your waist."
0:03:06 > 0:03:07It's, sort of, the...
0:03:09 > 0:03:12It's the socialist ideal of the redistribution of assets.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Yes.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- We have a picture of you on the town, just...- Don't.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20- ..just to illustrate. - What do you mean?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- You what?- Looking glamorous.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Oh, my God!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27WOLF WHISTLES FROM CROWD
0:03:27 > 0:03:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:29 > 0:03:30- Take it off!- You look great.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Take it off!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34- Take it down!- OK, take it down.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36I think you look... I think it looks fantastic.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38I think it looks fantastic.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41This is the thing, most men think that women should dress like that...
0:03:41 > 0:03:43going to Sainsbury's. Don't you?
0:03:44 > 0:03:48- Yes.- If that photograph of me is a good thing,
0:03:48 > 0:03:51cos I was definitely not wearing in minimiser bra in that shot.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- You weren't.- No, I wasn't.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56But, the worrying thing was, I wasn't wearing a Wonderbra.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58What were you wearing?
0:03:58 > 0:04:01There was just two very short men stood underneath me,
0:04:01 > 0:04:04holding them up, that they've cropped out of the top.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08I'm not condemning anyone who wears a minimiser -
0:04:08 > 0:04:10I wear minimiser pants.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13I...
0:04:16 > 0:04:18I don't. I don't, actually.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19I do.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25Do you remember, about a year ago, there was this mad phase of the...?
0:04:25 > 0:04:29It was called the "pen boob challenge," on the internet.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Is it, you have to pull your boob up
0:04:32 > 0:04:34and, if you can hold...?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37- A pen.- Yeah, a pen or a pencil under it.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40I'll give you a fairly...
0:04:40 > 0:04:41- There's...- What?!
0:04:41 > 0:04:43That's quite a daring photo for you to put up there.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- It is.- Another one of mine.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47THEY LAUGH
0:04:48 > 0:04:51This woman just took it a tad further.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59APPLAUSE
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Another one of yours?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07It's like a Dyson Halloween campaign.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Anyway...
0:05:14 > 0:05:16what's winding up Nigel?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22CHEERING AND JEERING
0:05:22 > 0:05:25APPLAUSE
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Ooh!
0:05:28 > 0:05:30It's, of course, nothing personal.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31- Oh, no(!)- No.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34He represents a lot of politicians
0:05:34 > 0:05:36who pretend to be one thing...
0:05:36 > 0:05:38And he's the worst offender at this, in my book...
0:05:38 > 0:05:40He pretends to be one thing, when, in fact,
0:05:40 > 0:05:42he's something completely different.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44He says he's a Labour...you know...
0:05:44 > 0:05:46but, in fact, he's a Marxist.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47- We know that.- A what?
0:05:47 > 0:05:48A Marxist.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I'll explain what it is after the show.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54For instance, he doesn't agree with sugar,
0:05:54 > 0:05:55but he makes jam.
0:05:58 > 0:05:59How's it going so far?
0:06:01 > 0:06:04He said, "I'm going to be new, I'm going to have...
0:06:04 > 0:06:06"I'm going to lead the party, it's the end of...
0:06:06 > 0:06:09"of politics as we know it.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10"It'll be kind politics."
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Kind politics? Have you seen the party he runs?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16- It's in ruins at the moment... - Well, I think it's...
0:06:16 > 0:06:18..and I'm a Labour supporter, in many ways.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- Seriously.- Sorry?
0:06:23 > 0:06:24BELL DINGS
0:06:27 > 0:06:29- Are you all right? - Don't send me a curveball, Nigel.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34However many people say, "You're not fit to run this party,"
0:06:34 > 0:06:37he's not going to move aside,
0:06:37 > 0:06:39which I think is a little selfish of him.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Well, he does keep getting voted in
0:06:41 > 0:06:43by an enormous majority of the membership.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Can I just say, my mum said I would never end up on Newsnight
0:06:48 > 0:06:50but, Mum, I'm really close!
0:06:52 > 0:06:54So close.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56I can imagine you ending up on Newsnight as a topic.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02I mean, I'm not massively shocked
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- that you've chosen Jeremy Corbyn. - Really?
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Well, you know, you're Nigel Havers, for goodness' sake.- Yeah.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11If you'd chosen cravats, I would have been gobsmacked.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15He doesn't preach what he says.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16You can't say, "I'm home making jam,"
0:07:16 > 0:07:18then you say, "I don't agree with sugar."
0:07:18 > 0:07:20What the hell is that all about?
0:07:20 > 0:07:22I'm surprised this is the policy you've picked on.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Let's bring us all in,
0:07:27 > 0:07:29because I've got another thing that makes me love Jeremy Corbyn.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31And this is a...
0:07:31 > 0:07:33I mean they love a photo opportunity,
0:07:33 > 0:07:35don't they, politicians? That's one of their things.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37They're holding a child,
0:07:37 > 0:07:38they're standing next to some...
0:07:38 > 0:07:43But this is one of my favourite politician photo opportunities.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48- That's one of my favourites an' all.- Yeah.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51- He's got your vote.- I mean...
0:07:54 > 0:07:57He's not gone, "No, I'm not going to...
0:07:57 > 0:07:59"I'm not going to not expose myself...!"
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Well...
0:08:02 > 0:08:05He said, "I'm not going to not take this photo."
0:08:05 > 0:08:08If you look at that, that is the face of a man
0:08:08 > 0:08:11who's aware of 200 years of British comedy tradition.
0:08:11 > 0:08:16He knows he's holding comedy in his hands there.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18This is what he said about this photo opportunity
0:08:18 > 0:08:20when asked about it.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21He said...
0:08:25 > 0:08:27His was a pathetic little banana,
0:08:27 > 0:08:29and I have got a massive marrow.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33APPLAUSE
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Well, one thing I like about him
0:08:37 > 0:08:40is he's spent a lot of his time, I think,
0:08:40 > 0:08:43in smoky rooms, in council buildings and stuff like that
0:08:43 > 0:08:46and now, suddenly, he's been thrust on the main stage,
0:08:46 > 0:08:50and he isn't always as slick and professional as he could be.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53On one of his first major speeches, for example,
0:08:53 > 0:08:55they read from an Autocue,
0:08:55 > 0:08:58so they have the speech going up on a screen,
0:08:58 > 0:09:02and you get the occasional stage direction on there
0:09:02 > 0:09:05and the idea is that you're not supposed to read those out.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08Here's Jeremy.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11We need to be investing in skills,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14investing in our young people,
0:09:14 > 0:09:16and, strong message here...
0:09:16 > 0:09:20- LAUGHTER - ..not cutting student numbers.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23APPLAUSE
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- Actually, I find that quite endearing, actually.- Yeah, me, too.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31- I do, I have to say.- There's been so many flashy, slick politicians,
0:09:31 > 0:09:34I like the fact that he wears sandals and socks.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37He's like... Well, he's probably not a breath of fresh air, but...
0:09:38 > 0:09:40We have a picture of him in his...
0:09:42 > 0:09:44There's the sandals.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46It did make me think though,
0:09:46 > 0:09:48he's got sandals, like Jesus,
0:09:48 > 0:09:49he's got a beard, like Jesus,
0:09:49 > 0:09:51he's got the same initials as Jesus...
0:09:52 > 0:09:55..and, like Jesus, his friends call him Jezza.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59- It's only the jam thing that separates them.- It is.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04Let's find out what is winding up Rylan.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15APPLAUSE
0:10:15 > 0:10:16Low ceilings, Frank.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20As a man...
0:10:21 > 0:10:24..I am six foot three, six foot four,
0:10:24 > 0:10:26- depending on what boots I've got on...- OK.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30..and every day is a struggle for me.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Whether I'll be, you know, walking along the road,
0:10:33 > 0:10:34there could be a branch.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Whether I'm on a plane...
0:10:37 > 0:10:41That is a self-portrait, of myself, on the screen now.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43But, more importantly,
0:10:43 > 0:10:48I feel that I have a constant groove in the top of my head
0:10:48 > 0:10:50from doorframes.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52I've had to have the doorframes in my house raised.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- Really?- Yeah.- Wow. - Because it just don't work.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Especially when the hair's up.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Have you considered...
0:11:00 > 0:11:01ducking?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Frank, I don't consider it,
0:11:05 > 0:11:07- I am a professional ducker!- OK.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13APPLAUSE
0:11:13 > 0:11:15I duck morning, noon and night.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Respect.
0:11:18 > 0:11:19But I don't enjoy it.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21I just... I don't.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Let's talk about the top deck of a bus.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26It all goes on on the top deck of a bus.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29That's where you want to be on a bus, you know?
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- LAUGHTER - You do.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33- You're right, though. You're right. - Do you know what I mean?
0:11:33 > 0:11:36I mean, I'm not going to lie, I've not been on a bus for years.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- But... - LAUGHTER
0:11:40 > 0:11:41I'm being serious.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45If I wanted to get on a bus, I'd want to get on the top deck...
0:11:46 > 0:11:47..but I'll get up them stairs,
0:11:47 > 0:11:49and I'll probably be three away from the top,
0:11:49 > 0:11:51and that's it.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53So, the next step is that.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57The step before the actual floor is that.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02And then, when I'm actually on the top deck, I'm like that.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06LAUGHTER
0:12:06 > 0:12:08APPLAUSE
0:12:12 > 0:12:14It's hard. It's tough.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17APPLAUSE
0:12:17 > 0:12:19You try doing that when it's moving.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22I mean, I've give half of London lap dances,
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I really have.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27What you really need is a tourist bus,
0:12:27 > 0:12:28then you can stand fully.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Yeah, but then it rains, then the hair. Oh, it's a drama.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- You don't want your face to run.- No.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Believe me, it's run many a time.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43Generally, would you say it was a plus, in life, to be tall?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45At a concert, it comes in handy.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48- Changing light bulbs? - Light bulbs are fine.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50You can never really enjoy a maze.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52- No.- Would be my guess.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55I did go... I remember...
0:12:55 > 0:12:58I can't even... A good few years back now,
0:12:58 > 0:13:00I went to, like, a holiday site...
0:13:01 > 0:13:03..down in Devon, we had a lovely time,
0:13:03 > 0:13:06and there was this, like, sort of, amusement-y park,
0:13:06 > 0:13:07outdoor fun...
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Fun in the farm, whatever it was called.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13And they had this maze and it was like a hedge maze,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15and I've never been in a hedge maze,
0:13:15 > 0:13:18but I always find it quite exciting,
0:13:18 > 0:13:19- the thought of a hedge maze...- Mmm!
0:13:19 > 0:13:21..because it's hedges.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26- Almost always. - Do you know what I mean, though?
0:13:26 > 0:13:28As a child, you think, "Oh, hedge maze!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30"What's in the middle?"
0:13:30 > 0:13:32And I could tell you what was in the middle
0:13:32 > 0:13:34from the gate at the front of the park.
0:13:35 > 0:13:36APPLAUSE
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Can I tell you something? You're six foot three.
0:13:39 > 0:13:40Six foot three, yeah.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41My son, who is four,
0:13:41 > 0:13:44got a certificate for swimming two metres,
0:13:44 > 0:13:45which is...
0:13:45 > 0:13:47less than you.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54Anyway, I feel your pain, I must say.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Well, you can physically feel it, if you want.
0:13:56 > 0:13:57I've got that little ridge.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00I'm not going to feel your ridge, I'll trust you on it.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04And I sort of think that the minimiser bra
0:14:04 > 0:14:06goes against everything I believe in.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10And, Nigel...
0:14:10 > 0:14:11I'm not going to put in...
0:14:11 > 0:14:13I knew you wouldn't.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17You argued your case well, but I think he is a breath of fresh air.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Good, I'm glad.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21I'm beginning to agree with you.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22LAUGHTER
0:14:22 > 0:14:25But I think that the case that has moved me the most,
0:14:25 > 0:14:27and has made me....
0:14:27 > 0:14:29emotionally involved with the argument
0:14:29 > 0:14:31has to be Catherine,
0:14:31 > 0:14:34so I'm going to put minimiser bras into Room 101.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Well done, girl!
0:14:40 > 0:14:43CHEERING
0:14:46 > 0:14:49So, what is...
0:14:49 > 0:14:50Nigel's choice?
0:14:55 > 0:14:56What?!
0:14:56 > 0:14:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:58 > 0:15:01My choice is shops at airports.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03To start with,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06they call themselves "duty-free shops,"
0:15:06 > 0:15:08there's nothing free about them at all.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09I know for a fact that,
0:15:09 > 0:15:12if I buy something in a duty-free shop at the airport,
0:15:12 > 0:15:13it's going to be more expensive
0:15:13 > 0:15:16than buying it at the high street at home. That's the first thing.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21And secondly, they make you snake through endless, endless shops.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23You're trying to get to the aeroplane.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25I find it just so frustrating
0:15:25 > 0:15:27and it's full of things you don't want to buy
0:15:27 > 0:15:29cos you're going on holiday anyway!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32The whole thing is a barrage
0:15:32 > 0:15:34of people trying to make money out of you.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35It's expensive enough flying anyway.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37You don't want to spend any more money.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Why can't the airport just be an airport
0:15:39 > 0:15:41where you can just fly to where you want to go?
0:15:41 > 0:15:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:47 > 0:15:51I'll admit the duty-free is a strange shop indeed.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54It's, sort of, chocolate, cigarettes,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57perfume, alcohol...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00It's like a, sort of, Loose Women theme park.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04And they sell these...
0:16:04 > 0:16:08This is the most peculiar thing, is the whisky in a box.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Why does that exist?
0:16:13 > 0:16:15I mean, it's not like...
0:16:15 > 0:16:17You know when you get guys on waste ground
0:16:17 > 0:16:18drinking out of brown paper bags,
0:16:18 > 0:16:20is it the sort of...?
0:16:24 > 0:16:28You never see anyone on waste ground drinking out of one of these, ever.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31And is the idea that, if...?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34You know, you've had a bottle of whisky at home in the evening.
0:16:34 > 0:16:35Maybe you don't drink the whole thing.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38We've all had nights like that. Quiet nights.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42When you're halfway down and you think,
0:16:42 > 0:16:43"I've had enough now for tonight,"
0:16:43 > 0:16:45do you actually put it back in the box?
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Is that what one does?
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Do you two shop at the airport?
0:16:51 > 0:16:54I LOVE shopping at the airport.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55Do you?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- Yeah, I love an airport shop. - I love an airport shop.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59But now we've had Brexit,
0:16:59 > 0:17:02does that mean that we get the cheaper price at the airport?
0:17:02 > 0:17:03No, more expensive.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Oh, what's the point?
0:17:07 > 0:17:11It's a very late reaction, if you don't mind me saying.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12You're still buying something
0:17:12 > 0:17:15that's going to be slightly more expensive than it is back at home.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17And also, you've got hand luggage -
0:17:17 > 0:17:19what, you're going to add more to your hand luggage?
0:17:19 > 0:17:22And then the planes don't even let you have them.
0:17:22 > 0:17:23- No, they don't.- Then, they're like,
0:17:23 > 0:17:24"You've got to put it all in one bag."
0:17:24 > 0:17:26It's like, "You could've told me that
0:17:26 > 0:17:30"before I just spent 300 quid in TK Maxx at the airport!"
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Nobody's ever spent 300 quid in TK Maxx.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37What did you do, buy the company?
0:17:39 > 0:17:43All I'm saying is, basically, the airport, now, is a shopping mall,
0:17:43 > 0:17:47which happens to have, in one side of it, some aeroplanes parked up...
0:17:47 > 0:17:49- LAUGHTER - ..to take you somewhere.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52But, basically, it's a huge shopping mall.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54I'll tell you what really annoys me
0:17:54 > 0:17:55about the airport shops at duty-free -
0:17:55 > 0:17:57everyone likes to buy a little aftershave
0:17:57 > 0:18:00or a perfume at the airport, it's what you do. Right?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02It's what you do.
0:18:02 > 0:18:07But why sell 120ml bottles of perfume...
0:18:08 > 0:18:10..for 50 quid?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12And you think, "Bargain, I'll take it."
0:18:12 > 0:18:14You fly out to Spain,
0:18:14 > 0:18:16you put a bit on, "Oh, I smell lovely."
0:18:16 > 0:18:17Come back to Malaga airport,
0:18:17 > 0:18:19"No, can't put that through, 100 mils."
0:18:19 > 0:18:21- "What?!" - LAUGHTER
0:18:21 > 0:18:24All these security, airport security,
0:18:24 > 0:18:25they must be lapping it up.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27They could open a small branch of Boots!
0:18:28 > 0:18:30- He's not just a pretty face. - Thank you.- No.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:18:32 > 0:18:33I've been trying to tell you.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39I like to take back a gift for my partner if I've been away
0:18:39 > 0:18:43and I tend to get them at the airport...
0:18:43 > 0:18:45- Foolish! Foolish man. - ..20 minutes before.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48But then, her face, when she says, "Oh, Frank.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51"Another European plug adapter."
0:18:55 > 0:18:56It really moves me.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01So what is upsetting Rylan?
0:19:04 > 0:19:06This really winds me right up.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Set-up paparazzi shoots.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Obviously, I'm lucky enough, now, to work in this industry
0:19:12 > 0:19:14and I love my job.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18I, personally, don't like having my photo taken,
0:19:18 > 0:19:21but what really winds me up is
0:19:21 > 0:19:23when I do my job on certain other shows
0:19:23 > 0:19:26where I'm talking about, maybe, a bit of gossip that's going on
0:19:26 > 0:19:29and stuff like that. And I've got to say, "Oh,
0:19:29 > 0:19:33"did you see this picture of so-and-so in the park,
0:19:33 > 0:19:37"working out, full face of make-up?"
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Or someone looking sad.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Someone looking sad, sitting by the river,
0:19:41 > 0:19:44"Oh, so-and-so since break-up looking sad by the river."
0:19:46 > 0:19:48That's a bit of a worry, isn't it?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Looking sad by the river?
0:19:51 > 0:19:53- You would think it was a worry..- Yes.- ..but really,
0:19:53 > 0:19:56they're sitting there going, "Have you got that shot yet?"
0:19:56 > 0:19:58"You got that shot yet?
0:19:58 > 0:20:01"Lovely, let's go out and have a nice bit of chicken."
0:20:01 > 0:20:03I hate it!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05And the ones that really wind me up are the working out ones.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07The working out ones.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Like someone, you know, had a little bit of weight,
0:20:09 > 0:20:12and now they've lost the weight to get the DVD.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15And then it's like, oh, you know,
0:20:15 > 0:20:17they're just randomly in the park in a sports bra,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19their hair's been done by a hairdresser,
0:20:19 > 0:20:23up in a high ponytail, you know, perfectly straightened,
0:20:23 > 0:20:25eye make-up, smoky eyes, heavy lip.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29No-one goes to the park with a heavy lip and a high pony.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Well, in the days when I was a bit more of a tabloid figure,
0:20:35 > 0:20:39a popular Sunday newspaper offered me and my girlfriend, at the time,
0:20:39 > 0:20:42they offered us a free week's holiday in the Caribbean...
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Here we go. - ..if we'd agree to be photographed,
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- just for an afternoon... - On the beach?
0:20:47 > 0:20:48- ..frolicking on the beach.- Yes!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50I think they wanted me to frolic, unselfconsciously,
0:20:50 > 0:20:52- with a beachball...- Yep!
0:20:52 > 0:20:54..which I have never done in my life.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57And they said, "We'll give you a free holiday,
0:20:57 > 0:20:59"all we want is just those few shots
0:20:59 > 0:21:01"and look as if you don't know we're there."
0:21:01 > 0:21:02Yep, totally agree.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04And that happens every single day.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06And do you know what makes it even worse?
0:21:06 > 0:21:09When they do it themselves.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13So, like, I don't know, let's say "Mary," for arguments sake...
0:21:13 > 0:21:17Mary was on a reality show, work's dried up a bit,
0:21:17 > 0:21:20don't really know what she's going to do next.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Ring old Pappy Pete up.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26"Let's go down Southend seafront,
0:21:26 > 0:21:29"I'll get a bag of chips,
0:21:29 > 0:21:31"and we'll make out a seagull's attacked me."
0:21:33 > 0:21:34No!
0:21:34 > 0:21:39And I speak no lie, a few days ago,
0:21:39 > 0:21:43I saw a news article with a certain person
0:21:43 > 0:21:45who was attacked by a seagull...
0:21:47 > 0:21:48..holding a bag of chips...
0:21:50 > 0:21:53- ..in work-out gear with a heavy lip and a high pony.- No!
0:21:53 > 0:21:56APPLAUSE
0:21:58 > 0:22:01We have a picture... Now, how much of this is accidental,
0:22:01 > 0:22:04and how much of it is, they absolutely know what's going on?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06This is Orlando Bloom
0:22:06 > 0:22:10- and Katy Perry...- Yep.- ..on a...
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- I think it's called a paddle board thing.- Yep.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16AUDIENCE GASPS
0:22:16 > 0:22:18- That's a well-known shot that, isn't it?- It is.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19It's become a famous shot.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I feel sorry for Katy Perry
0:22:21 > 0:22:25cos, for me, it's a big story - a picture of Katy Perry in a bikini.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27And she has, you know...
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- It's like on a wedding, it's the bride's day...- Yeah.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33..whereas I feel there are three people in this marriage...
0:22:36 > 0:22:37..and, if you look at her face,
0:22:37 > 0:22:40I don't think she knows what's going on behind her.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42I think she thought that was
0:22:42 > 0:22:44the beak of a playful dolphin at her back.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Definitely, the last time she looked behind, he was wearing pants.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Yeah, definitely.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54I'd like to know how he's managed to stand up
0:22:54 > 0:22:56and get a pair of pants off on a paddle board.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Now, I don't know if you saw the original of this picture...
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Of course I've seen the original of this photo.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04I thought you might have.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Let's put it this way, he's not in any trouble if he loses the paddle!
0:23:07 > 0:23:09No.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13OK, then, what's winding up Catherine?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Hipster restaurants, yeah!
0:23:19 > 0:23:22APPLAUSE
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Look, here's one example, right?
0:23:24 > 0:23:27There is a restaurant, I won't say where it is.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32The spelling of this restaurant is A-X-E.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35A-X-E.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39What would one normal person assume the name of this restaurant is?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- Axe.- Axe!
0:23:41 > 0:23:43It's not called Axe, do you know what it's called?
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Ah-shay.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54So, a normal person would go in
0:23:54 > 0:23:59and say, "Can I have the Axe burger?"
0:24:00 > 0:24:04And they look at you as if you've...
0:24:06 > 0:24:09..dug out their mother's innards...
0:24:10 > 0:24:14..put them between two slices, and chomped into it,
0:24:14 > 0:24:17because, they'll go, "It's Ah-shay."
0:24:17 > 0:24:20"As in, what? As in, shove it up your ar-shay?"
0:24:21 > 0:24:25APPLAUSE
0:24:26 > 0:24:30To be fair, as long as they pay their tah-shays!
0:24:32 > 0:24:36As an example of this in this country, there is a...
0:24:36 > 0:24:38There's a restaurant in East London...
0:24:40 > 0:24:41..called Cereal Killer...
0:24:41 > 0:24:44- Yes!- ..which sells breakfast cereal.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48And it's run by twins, in fact.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Hipster twins, I'm going to call them.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Here they are.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56It looks as if somebody has sprinkled magical beauty dust
0:24:56 > 0:24:58on the Hairy Bikers.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02As long as it's fun, that's OK.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06But in a lot of hipster restaurants, it's not fun, it's like a religion.
0:25:06 > 0:25:07OK.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09And it's almost like you're being judged.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12I do like the gimmicky ones, because I'm not a big...
0:25:12 > 0:25:15I don't love eating. I'm not that interested in food.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17- Oh!- And so, I like it...
0:25:17 > 0:25:20I remember I was on a drip once, I loved it.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24- Really?- Oh, it was great.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27You know, I didn't have to get anything on my teeth,
0:25:27 > 0:25:28I didn't gain weight.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31I just... I didn't have to worry about it, it was just there.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33I miss it, I'll be honest with you.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Hipster coffee shops as well, that's a worry for me,
0:25:38 > 0:25:40because I'm not a coffee connoisseur,
0:25:40 > 0:25:43but I do like a little bit of coffee,
0:25:43 > 0:25:45and a lot of frothy milk.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48But there are some coffee shops where to go in and say,
0:25:48 > 0:25:50"Could I get...?
0:25:50 > 0:25:53"Please, could I get a latte, but just one shot of coffee?"
0:25:53 > 0:25:55And they'll say, "No."
0:25:56 > 0:25:59"No, we cannot let our coffee leave the shop
0:25:59 > 0:26:01"unless it's got two shots of coffee in it."
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Cos it's below their coffee moral code...
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Oh, wow!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07..to leave the shop.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Which makes me want to run to the nearest Starbucks
0:26:10 > 0:26:12- and kneel at their altar.- Mm.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17And I'll get it really quickly, they'll call me by my name
0:26:17 > 0:26:20and, if I don't like it, they make it again.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26I don't mind all this hipster stuff, I'm sort of open to it,
0:26:26 > 0:26:31I'm a bit like, "Yeah, you want to put a burger in a pizza box
0:26:31 > 0:26:33"that's brought in on a wheelbarrow, I'll have a go."
0:26:35 > 0:26:39But, before, pre-beard, pre-beard life...
0:26:41 > 0:26:44..I received my coffee in said establishment
0:26:44 > 0:26:49that we enjoy together, and it said, "Lady in blue top."
0:26:51 > 0:26:53So...
0:26:57 > 0:27:00So, obviously, I pick it up, and I look around,
0:27:00 > 0:27:02- for the lady...- Oh, no!
0:27:02 > 0:27:03..and then I look down...
0:27:05 > 0:27:09..and realise I'm the only person in the shop in a blue top.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13So I go back to the person that took my order
0:27:13 > 0:27:15and said, "Sorry, is this...?
0:27:15 > 0:27:17"Is this the right one?" I said,
0:27:17 > 0:27:19"Cos it says, 'lady in blue top.' "
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- And he went, "No, madam, that's yours."- Oh!
0:27:24 > 0:27:29APPLAUSE
0:27:29 > 0:27:31So, I...
0:27:31 > 0:27:34I'm afraid I need shops at airports, Nigel, because...
0:27:34 > 0:27:37- Do you?- ..I do a lot of last-minute gift buying.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39- Really?- I have to get my European plug adapter.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41I'm going to try and put you off doing that,
0:27:41 > 0:27:42because you're paying more.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43I take that as an argument
0:27:43 > 0:27:45but, to be honest, I'm not short of a few bob.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48I like the...
0:27:48 > 0:27:50I take the coolness point about hipster restaurants,
0:27:50 > 0:27:52but I do love the madness of them,
0:27:52 > 0:27:55and the fun has just won it through for me.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59But the set-up paparazzi shot, it is a tragic part of modern life.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00It really is.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03And if it's upset you, a man I see at the very centre of...
0:28:03 > 0:28:05pop culture... LAUGHTER
0:28:05 > 0:28:07..then it really can't be right,
0:28:07 > 0:28:10- so I am going to put set up paparazzi shots into Room 101.- Yes!
0:28:10 > 0:28:13CHEERING
0:28:13 > 0:28:15Go!
0:28:15 > 0:28:19APPLAUSE
0:28:22 > 0:28:25And that brings us to the end of the show,
0:28:25 > 0:28:28strong message here... Well done...
0:28:28 > 0:28:31Well done, Rylan, you were the most persuasive guest,
0:28:31 > 0:28:32so you are this week's winner.
0:28:32 > 0:28:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:38 > 0:28:40So, thanks very much, Rylan Clark-Neal,
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Catherine Tate and Nigel Havers.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44And thank you, good night.
0:28:44 > 0:28:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE