0:00:26 > 0:00:29APPLAUSE
0:00:29 > 0:00:34Hello, I'm Frank Skinner and welcome to Room 101.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38Exploring a world of woe tonight are This Is England, Vicky McClure,
0:00:38 > 0:00:41This Is Denmark Sandi Toksvig,
0:00:41 > 0:00:43and This Is Devon, Josh Widdicombe.
0:00:43 > 0:00:44LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:00:50 > 0:00:53OK, what's winding up Josh?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01LAUGHTER
0:01:01 > 0:01:05So, this is people being rude about Paul McCartney.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09Top of the list, your production team, seemingly, with that picture.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Yeah!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Um...
0:01:12 > 0:01:15It looks like there should be a dog's tail above that mouth.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Anybody else feel sick now?
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Um, yeah, I feel quite strongly about this.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28It seems to have been a thing that's kind of happened in the last decade,
0:01:28 > 0:01:34that being half of the greatest songwriting partnership of all time,
0:01:34 > 0:01:39changing the face of popular music, changing the face of society,
0:01:39 > 0:01:45doesn't deem respect if you're a bit of a square 74-year-old.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47- Hm.- Like, he's 74.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50We're lucky he's not doing an advert for walk-in baths.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55Do you listen to his more recent solo albums?
0:01:55 > 0:01:56No, of course not.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Hold it,
0:01:59 > 0:02:02is this a person being rude about Paul McCartney?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Right, I thought this might happen.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07I've made a list of the pros and cons of Paul McCartney.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08- Oh, brilliant.- Wow.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11OK, so this is basically how the argument goes.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15So, the pros - he was responsible for changing popular music for ever.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17He wrote Hey Jude. He invented the concept album.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21He produced the greatest Glastonbury headline set ever while in his 60s.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24He wrote Blackbird. The Frog Chorus was quite good.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28- LAUGHTER - He took a decade of public abuse.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30He headlined Live Aid. He made it OK to be a vegetarian.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33He wrote Helter Skelter, Fool On The Hill, Paperback Writer, Michelle,
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Eleanor Rigby, For No-one, and Let It Be.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Cons - he dyes his hair.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:02:40 > 0:02:45I think Paul McCartney has achieved so much at such a young age
0:02:45 > 0:02:48that he should have a free pass to do whatever he wants.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Isambard Kingdom Brunel, when he was old, no-one was going, "Yeah,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53"but what bridges has he built recently?"
0:02:53 > 0:02:56You know, Alexander Fleming, no-one said,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59"But what did he follow penicillin with?"
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Abraham Lincoln, no-one said...
0:03:03 > 0:03:06"What did he do good after whatever it was he was meant to have done?"
0:03:07 > 0:03:10And I'd say Paul McCartney is up there with the greatest people that
0:03:10 > 0:03:13has ever lived, and people are rude about him and they shouldn't be.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16But nobody criticises him for Eleanor Rigby, or for all the early stuff.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18They criticise him for giving the evil eye to burgers.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21I mean, it's fine if he wants to be a vegetarian.
0:03:21 > 0:03:26Just the rest of us are doing a public service by eating cows and keeping them off the road. So...
0:03:26 > 0:03:28LAUGHTER
0:03:29 > 0:03:34Think of the accidents there could be if I wasn't doing my bit keeping the livestock back.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38So, you don't observe meat-free Mondays?
0:03:38 > 0:03:41What on Earth is that? I'm from Denmark, darling - what on Earth is that?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43This was his little blurb for it.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Please, just log in -
0:03:45 > 0:03:48pledge.meatfreemondays -
0:03:48 > 0:03:50all one word - .com.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54pledge.meatfreemondays.com.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57pledge.meatfreemondays.com.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00pledge.meatfreemondays.com.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02You can do it, right now, please.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Wow!
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- What was that?- It's definitely not as good as his early work.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10See, you say that's bad.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14- Yeah.- The first time I heard that, that was in my head for a week.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- Have you met him? - No, I'd love to meet him.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21I saw him at this thing and I went over and he went, "Oh, hello, Frank."
0:04:21 > 0:04:26And I thought, A, he knows my name, and then he said to his fiancee,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29"This is a very famous British comedian."
0:04:29 > 0:04:31And I can't tell you how good I felt.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33And I was so pleased,
0:04:33 > 0:04:37and then someone went past with a tray of little bits of food,
0:04:37 > 0:04:40and I took a small burger off it and went like that, and he went.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46And I tried to put it back, but they'd gone.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48I ended up... I held...
0:04:48 > 0:04:51You know when you're behind the bike shed having a smoke
0:04:51 > 0:04:53and the teacher... I held the burger behind my back like that,
0:04:53 > 0:04:56hoping that he might have forgotten about it.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Do you like his stuff?- Yeah, I mean, I love the Beatles.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03We was at the NME Awards and he was there and my partner is a massive
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Beatles fan so I was like, "You've got to tap him when he comes past."
0:05:06 > 0:05:09And he did stop and say hello, but that was about it.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13I'm a bit disappointed that this has become me coming on to talk about how much I love Paul McCartney
0:05:13 > 0:05:16and then just hearing stories about how everyone else has met Paul McCartney.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20There are some amazing Paul McCartney lookalikes around.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Look at this woman.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Look at this woman!
0:05:30 > 0:05:31- God bless her.- Brilliant!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Can I say, God bless her?
0:05:33 > 0:05:37I do not mock this lovely old lady in her little Welsh home.
0:05:37 > 0:05:44- She's so cute.- But it has to be said that she does have more than a passing resemblance.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46They certainly share a hairdresser, I think.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- Yeah.- That's fantastic. - And what about this woman?
0:05:52 > 0:05:53That is him!
0:05:53 > 0:05:58- Wow!- He's allowed to relax if he wants to.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02What do you Google if you want to find people who look astonishingly like Paul McCartney?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04- Exactly that.- Just that?
0:06:04 > 0:06:07And so to Sandi.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Yeah, pointless things you learn at school.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- APPLAUSE - I have got... Yeah.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21So, let's start with mathematics.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23OK, so I spent many,
0:06:23 > 0:06:27many hours of my youth learning about something called logarithms.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Now, I didn't understand what they were for,
0:06:29 > 0:06:31they seemed to me entirely pointless,
0:06:31 > 0:06:35and the very day that I finally understood what they were about,
0:06:35 > 0:06:38we moved on and did something else
0:06:38 > 0:06:42and they've never come up again in my entire life.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45So, not just the intellectual stuff that I think is a waste of space
0:06:45 > 0:06:48in my brain. I know, for example, how an oxbow lake is formed.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Who cares?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52It was physical education.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55They used to strip us down to our underwear and make us try and do a forward roll.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Now, I do not know...
0:06:57 > 0:06:59LAUGHTER
0:07:00 > 0:07:03I am never going to throw myself off a train at high speed...
0:07:04 > 0:07:10The forward roll, I have to say, is still a great way to arrive in a tent.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15It's my personal favourite.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19But I was asked to do one on a TV show about two years ago.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23I hadn't done one for 40 years but they said, "Can you do a forward roll?"
0:07:23 > 0:07:26And I said, "Yes," because I could remember doing one.
0:07:26 > 0:07:31So, I did it with tremendous confidence and gusto.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34I honestly felt like I'd fallen out of a helicopter.
0:07:35 > 0:07:40I do cartwheel occasionally, if the lift doors are beginning to close.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43I have to say my father was brilliant about all these things
0:07:43 > 0:07:45because he was a very patient man
0:07:45 > 0:07:47and I was struggling with some French one day,
0:07:47 > 0:07:50and he said, "Yes, yes, funny thing, French -
0:07:50 > 0:07:51"in French, "cheval" means "horse."
0:07:51 > 0:07:53"It's like that all the way through.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56"They have a different word for each one of ours. It's very annoying."
0:08:03 > 0:08:06In art class - I can't really draw -
0:08:06 > 0:08:11the only tip I remember was they were teaching us to draw faces
0:08:11 > 0:08:18and they said, "Start with the eyes, and always remember that eyes are halfway down the head."
0:08:18 > 0:08:21And that's... Well, that's not true.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25Oh, yeah, of course they are, that's why I have my glasses on under my ears.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28We're not 50% forehead.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30You speak for yourself.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31LAUGHTER
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Do you know what...
0:08:34 > 0:08:36The worst thing about that, I started saying it,
0:08:36 > 0:08:38and for the last 30 seconds I've been thinking,
0:08:38 > 0:08:40"I can't even look at Frank."
0:08:42 > 0:08:46There is a professor from Newcastle University who says there is
0:08:46 > 0:08:50no longer any point in teaching how to spell
0:08:50 > 0:08:53because in the age of spell check and predictive text,
0:08:53 > 0:08:56it's a completely pointless skill.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58That's not true, though, darling, because predictive text can be
0:08:58 > 0:09:01unpredictable and therefore you need to make sure it's right, you know?
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Well, I had... I was trying to write,
0:09:05 > 0:09:08for some reason I won't go into, a text message,
0:09:08 > 0:09:12which included the name Nostradamus.
0:09:12 > 0:09:19And I spelt it wrongly and it offered me "nostril."
0:09:19 > 0:09:24And you'd think predictive text would have some respect for Nostradamus!
0:09:25 > 0:09:30The Godfather of all predictivity.
0:09:31 > 0:09:36So, I went to get... You have to get a birth certificate done,
0:09:36 > 0:09:40we'd just had a baby, and her middle name is Virginia.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Oh, no.
0:09:44 > 0:09:48And you'd think the one thing that you could do if you're a registrar is spell.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51So she turns the birth certificate round
0:09:51 > 0:09:53and it says "vagina" on it!
0:09:53 > 0:09:56But I was so embarrassed.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57So she's still got that now?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59No, no, no.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00I...
0:10:00 > 0:10:02You can change it?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05The worst thing is, her first name's Frannie, she got that wrong as well!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08No, it's not!
0:10:09 > 0:10:12There must be some things you learned from school that you still use.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Of course, I mean, you know, it was quite useful to learn to read.
0:10:16 > 0:10:21It seemed like every science lesson I was learning to use a Bunsen burner.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Not a skill that has come up once in my life.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Comes round, do you want a cup of tea?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I'll just pop on the Bunsen burner.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Blue flame, I'm not an idiot.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31All you do with the orange flame,
0:10:31 > 0:10:33all you did with the orange flame, one use...
0:10:35 > 0:10:37That's all you do.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Tiny piece of copper, big tongs, goggles on.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42What's the point?
0:10:42 > 0:10:47And in science we'd be dispatched into the car park with a wheel
0:10:47 > 0:10:51on a stick and we'd just walk around clicking for hours.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Just going, "I don't know what I'm learning here."
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Would you like to relive that moment?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Go on.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- Brilliant!- And you're going, "Is this going to come up in the exam?"
0:11:03 > 0:11:05"How big's the car park?"
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Oh, it is satisfying, though, isn't it?
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Oh, isn't it!? Isn't it!?
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Do you know what, I'm back... It's 1993 again.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Ooh.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16- Wait for it.- Oooh!
0:11:16 > 0:11:17CLICKS
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Oooh!
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Sounds like I've got a bad knee.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Oooh!- That is weirdly satisfying.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26It is, isn't it?
0:11:26 > 0:11:29It's great if you don't want the responsibility of a real pet.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32Yeah!
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Do you know what you should have, you should have that with a
0:11:34 > 0:11:36- hamster in it.- That's good.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39And then you could go, "I'm just going to take my hamster for a walk."
0:11:39 > 0:11:43Marvellous. It is the precise method that the American pioneers used on
0:11:43 > 0:11:46the wagon wheels as they went across to try and work out how many miles
0:11:46 > 0:11:47- they had travelled.- Is that right?
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- Yeah.- And did they click?
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Uh...
0:11:50 > 0:11:53They got on but I wouldn't say they clicked.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01OK.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04And so to Vicky.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Leaflets in hotel rooms.
0:12:10 > 0:12:15- Hm!- I live in hotels quite a lot because, you know, I live in Nottingham,
0:12:15 > 0:12:17- which is miles away from London.- Hm.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20And you go into the room,
0:12:20 > 0:12:24you go to put your bag down and you can't see the table for, you know,
0:12:24 > 0:12:26the trips to here and there.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28You just need your bed and your telly, done.
0:12:28 > 0:12:29Sparse.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31There we go, keep it simple.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Then, there's even phones now.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37There's these weird things where you go in and they're like mobile phones,
0:12:37 > 0:12:39just in a port.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Oh, yes.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Does that operate the television?
0:12:43 > 0:12:44I've no idea.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48I've no idea.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Here am I thinking, "Nottingham, are they still going?"
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Let's have a look at some leaflets from hotel rooms.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Some of them are a little disturbing.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- Wow.- Whoa.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06At first I thought, "Why has she got a vest on in the shower?"
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Yeah.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09What is the point of that leaflet, though?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Well, it says, "Showering just got a whole lot more fun."
0:13:12 > 0:13:15That looks like one of those things you're meant to hang on your door.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Yeah.- Is that the third option?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Leave me alone, tidy my room,
0:13:21 > 0:13:23or shower me in fun.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27I have one which I find even more unnerving.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Oh, wow.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36There is a man getting his money's worth from the free Wi-Fi, I would say.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Look at his face.- Yeah.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45Yeah, he's gelled for the event.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48God, I hope he's gelled.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Oh!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53"Do not disturb.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56"Favor de no molestar."
0:13:58 > 0:14:01I'm hoping that's a translation of "do not disturb."
0:14:01 > 0:14:07Not the hotel slogan, "special favours for molesters."
0:14:08 > 0:14:12I'll tell you what I hate, when you have to phone down for the Wi-Fi code.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16The way they kind of smugly reply to you, like,
0:14:16 > 0:14:19there's an element that they're going, "We know what you're up to."
0:14:19 > 0:14:22And I'm not, 10% of the time, I'm not.
0:14:25 > 0:14:30What about... This is the sign on a hotel lift.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36LAUGHTER
0:14:39 > 0:14:41I don't even understand what that...
0:14:42 > 0:14:46It... What else could it possibly mean?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48What is after hours ass?
0:14:49 > 0:14:52There's only one way to find out, isn't there?
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- Yeah!- Yeah, I wonder how many...
0:14:54 > 0:14:57If you're are not pressing that out of curiosity...
0:14:57 > 0:15:00- Yeah.- Yeah.- Yeah.- ..you need to have a long hard look at yourself.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- Yeah.- You don't want to be woken up at three o'clock by someone leading
0:15:03 > 0:15:04a donkey into your room.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Or maybe you do.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Um... It is a nightmare,
0:15:14 > 0:15:18the leaflets thing, I must admit.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20I agree we are taught pointless things.
0:15:20 > 0:15:26But one of my favourite things is pointless knowledge of all kinds.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Bear in mind that Sandi's talking about pointless things being taught
0:15:29 > 0:15:30and she's the presenter of QI.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Yeah, those things are not pointless.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35LAUGHTER
0:15:35 > 0:15:39So, I think it's about time this wrong was righted.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43I am going to put people who are rude about Paul McCartney into Room 101.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44Yes!
0:15:44 > 0:15:45Yes!
0:15:53 > 0:15:58OK, what's making Josh angry?
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Right.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03AUDIENCE: Ooooh!
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Oh!
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Bring it on.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10This I truly believe.
0:16:10 > 0:16:16I spent my teenage years teaching myself to like the taste of lager
0:16:16 > 0:16:21so that I could be considered one of the boys.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22I managed it.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24I've been fine with that,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27even though we all know none of us actually like the taste.
0:16:27 > 0:16:32Now, they've brought along this worse drink called real ale.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Have you seen...
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Awful. Right, these people who drink real ale,
0:16:38 > 0:16:40they act like they're better than you, Frank.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42- They act like they're better than you.- Hm.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45They'll go, "Oh, it tastes so much, so good."
0:16:45 > 0:16:47No-one is drinking alcohol for the taste.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49You're not. Otherwise you wouldn't keep drinking it.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I like the taste of milk.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53I stop after one glass.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56You don't find me at 2am eight pints of milk down.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59There's got to be another dairy somewhere, hasn't there?
0:16:59 > 0:17:00I mean,
0:17:00 > 0:17:02you go and buy it,
0:17:02 > 0:17:05and you have to queue behind them because they're sampling it and then
0:17:05 > 0:17:07they have to kind of...
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Have you seen them trying to push it out of the pump?
0:17:11 > 0:17:15It's like they're kind of sluicing a chemical toilet.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19And you have to stand there and it looks like a canal,
0:17:19 > 0:17:22it might as well have a shopping trolley in it.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24And they're acting like they're cooler than you.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26You're not cooler than me because you drink real ale.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30James Bond wouldn't be as cool if when he was in the casino the woman
0:17:30 > 0:17:33came over and said, "Can I get you another drink, 007?"
0:17:33 > 0:17:35"Yeah, just a pint of Otter's Cock, please."
0:17:40 > 0:17:44That is one of my... One of my problems with it is
0:17:44 > 0:17:46it's all slightly ironic, isn't it?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48It's all got comedy names.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52- Yeah!- People go and have a pint of Needless Cruelty.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57It's in a pub called, like, The Uncertain Zebra.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01It's like you might as well go in and ask for a pint of mead.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05I didn't go to the pub to drink like Henry VIII.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08No, that's a good motto.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09Yeah.
0:18:11 > 0:18:17I remember in the '80s, the first time, the first wave of real ale,
0:18:17 > 0:18:21and then it was all about men in jumpers and big beards and stuff
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- like that drinking it.- Yeah.- But now I think it's become quite cool, hasn't it?
0:18:24 > 0:18:29Yeah, it has. I live in East London and it's full of people, you know,
0:18:29 > 0:18:32you'll go to their house and they'll go, "Do you want...
0:18:32 > 0:18:34"I've made some home-brew, do you want it?"
0:18:34 > 0:18:35and you go, "No."
0:18:35 > 0:18:40"I'll have the one that passed EU safety standards, please."
0:18:40 > 0:18:42But you must...
0:18:42 > 0:18:43I mean, but they're...
0:18:43 > 0:18:46You must like the taste of some alcohol.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48- Wonderful wines and whiskeys. - Yeah, I enjoy them.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Is it all just about getting drunk?
0:18:50 > 0:18:51Life? Yes.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58No, it's this kind of celebration of the drink that does taste worse.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00You know, let's be honest,
0:19:00 > 0:19:05it doesn't taste as good as a nice cool, crisp lager.
0:19:05 > 0:19:10You go to someone's house for a home-brew and, "Oh, we mixed it, you know,
0:19:10 > 0:19:13"I mixed it in my bath but don't worry, I washed the bath first."
0:19:13 > 0:19:16That's not... I don't care, it is a bath.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18If you said, "Is this plate clean?"
0:19:18 > 0:19:21"Well, I washed it but before that I was sat on it naked."
0:19:23 > 0:19:24It's the confidence.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Why do you think you can make beer?
0:19:26 > 0:19:30I can't get the, you know, the ratios of Ribena right.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33At least that's not going to send me blind if I get it wrong.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36I love that people are trying to do the old crafts themselves.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39I think that's a wonderful thing, to make your own beer.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43I don't think I've ever tried a real ale but I think you should be applauded for giving it a go, no?
0:19:43 > 0:19:47Well, come back to me when you've tried a real ale and been unable to see for 48 hours.
0:19:48 > 0:19:53What about this? This is a bit of old footage from BBC Nationwide.
0:19:53 > 0:19:58And just listen out, by the way, to how much this man can drink.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59This takes me back.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Alan Hunter, a man who can really hold his beer,
0:20:03 > 0:20:05whichever way you look at it.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09For nearly a year now, he's been defying the laws of specific gravity.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13Drinking beer the right way up, his form is impressive.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17He's capable of sinking 32 pints in an evening.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20The only time he's ever tasted defeat was when he was beaten
0:20:20 > 0:20:23by two seconds over a five-pint sprint.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26But to be fair, on that occasion his opponent was a horse.
0:20:30 > 0:20:35When I saw him like that it reminded me of your story of doing a forward roll.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39OK, to Vicky.
0:20:45 > 0:20:46Yeah, coat hangers.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- Hm.- Yeah.
0:20:48 > 0:20:52The one thing that really bugs me is when you go into a shop,
0:20:52 > 0:20:57you've not even attempted to look at something and it's on the floor.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Before you know it you're doing a shift, you're there,
0:20:59 > 0:21:02every time you touch something it's on the floor.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Oh, yeah, get up.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06They don't hang. They just...
0:21:06 > 0:21:07Why is that, though?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09I don't know. And then you've got so...
0:21:09 > 0:21:13Look at that, you've got like a variety of coat hangers.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17The velvet ones, you can't get your clothes off.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18That's it.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21That's just the way it is.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Also, the one thing that really annoys me is if you've, like,
0:21:24 > 0:21:25got a bit of a backlog,
0:21:25 > 0:21:28so you've got your bag of coat hangers and you think, "Oh,
0:21:28 > 0:21:30"I'll just go and grab a coat hanger from the bag."
0:21:30 > 0:21:33No, it's like the whole thing comes out.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36It's rattling around, it's in your face.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39You know, it's... I've got a real problem.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I think those are all very good points.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45- They are. - If you look at a coat hanger...
0:21:45 > 0:21:47um...
0:21:47 > 0:21:51even my shoulders don't slope
0:21:51 > 0:21:53to that degree.
0:21:53 > 0:21:59Why on Earth did they make that you have to hang something on a slope?
0:21:59 > 0:22:03- Yeah.- With a normal one, when I hang my pants up to dry...
0:22:04 > 0:22:07You know when you hang your pants up to dry?
0:22:07 > 0:22:08No.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11I don't mean when you've washed them.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14They will not...
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Look, everything is...
0:22:16 > 0:22:20They will not... And I've ended up putting pants on hangers...
0:22:21 > 0:22:23..like this.
0:22:24 > 0:22:29And there's something very unnerving about coming through the fly.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32It's like a very terrible scene from Peter Pan
0:22:32 > 0:22:34that didn't make the book.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Wouldn't it make more sense if coat hangers were shaped like that?
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- Yes.- And then you'd have the proper shoulders.
0:22:41 > 0:22:46- Try it with the pants. - Look, these were born for pants.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50- Yeah, they're good.- Well, it hangs. - Absolutely.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Also, if it ever rains two-dimensionally...
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Someone asks you directions in the street.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00"Do you know where the chemist is?"
0:23:03 > 0:23:06I honestly think that is a more...
0:23:06 > 0:23:07It's way more practical, I agree.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Somebody's going to steal that off you, you know that, right?
0:23:10 > 0:23:12I don't care. God, I don't need any more money.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17I find it difficult to get the trouser balance right.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Because one side of the trouser is heavier than the other side of the
0:23:21 > 0:23:23- trouser.- It slips off.- It slips off.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- You need staff.- I need staff?
0:23:25 > 0:23:31There is... Have you seen these ones that stop trousers slipping off?
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- So, they've got like an extra... - Oh.- Oh.- Have you seen that?
0:23:34 > 0:23:35- Yeah.- You look like Robin Hood.
0:23:35 > 0:23:40You can actually... I have just for leisure at home...
0:23:42 > 0:23:45It will actually...
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Watch yourselves.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51And if you get that into the wardrobe door you can hang
0:23:51 > 0:23:53a coat hanger on it.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55OK, and so to Sandi.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Ah, yes.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Yes, bar stools.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02So, what happens is... Again,
0:24:02 > 0:24:06let us imagine that you're on a first date and you've dressed up,
0:24:06 > 0:24:10you look rather marvellous, and you walk into the bar thinking you look rather marvellous and they say,
0:24:10 > 0:24:14"Shall we meet at the bar for a drink?" "What a marvellous idea." And the stool is here.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Now, we've already established I'm not a gymnast.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23I can't leap onto the thing.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25So I try and sort of casually...
0:24:27 > 0:24:31"No, I don't want to sit, actually, I'm fine."
0:24:31 > 0:24:37And then always, as I'm waiting, some woman who is fresh off a basketball court and seven foot tall
0:24:37 > 0:24:41comes to the bar stool next to me and just goes like that.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43So... I don't even like the name of them.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Bar stools. It just sounds rude.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- Hm.- So I think they're...
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- Bar stools! I'd never thought of that.- Yeah, they're heightist.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53We should have a... We've got a bar stool here.
0:24:53 > 0:24:59- Oh, dear God.- This I think is a fairly standard bar stool.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Would you be happy with this?
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Yes, I mean, the thing is,
0:25:02 > 0:25:05once you're on it, as well, I don't know how you're supposed to...
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Look at it, just straightaway, I'd have no idea how to...
0:25:08 > 0:25:09No, it does... I've never really...
0:25:11 > 0:25:15So, I'd have to clutch the bar, I think, to start with.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Imagine I've arrived, I haven't had a drink yet.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Oh, goodness me, I'm anxious.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Plus, it's a bloody swivel one...
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Oh, my God.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33At this precise...
0:25:40 > 0:25:43At this precise moment, my date arrives.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48And then you're on and you have a couple.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Now you've got to get off again.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53It's a nightmare!
0:25:53 > 0:25:57Do you do a leap? Now, the forward roll now would be very helpful.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- Oh, that would be interesting. - That would be cool, right?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- Yeah.- But they say, "Your table's ready."
0:26:01 > 0:26:05And you think, "OK." "You go ahead, I'll be... I'm just...
0:26:05 > 0:26:08"I'm going to wipe the bar down for a little bit."
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Thank you, darling. Frank's got terrible manners.
0:26:21 > 0:26:27I'm 5'10", and as you say, I dread any first date on one of these.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31- Yeah.- Because the thing is when you slide off, which you do,
0:26:31 > 0:26:33your trousers ride up quite a bit,
0:26:33 > 0:26:35which you don't want on a first date,
0:26:35 > 0:26:37especially as I am...
0:26:40 > 0:26:42..I favour a garterette.
0:26:44 > 0:26:49- What is that?- And it's something you want them to find out maybe week two or three.- Yeah.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Are they real or painted on with Bovril?
0:26:54 > 0:26:56But it's not... I mean... Have a go...
0:26:56 > 0:26:59- Vicky, have a go. See if you can be elegant, darling.- Do try it, Vicky.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Because you're taller than me and you've got heels.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04The thing is they do make me nervous because...
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Oh, yeah.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08I'm not a fan of them, I have to agree.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11I find myself clutching the front.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14- Yeah.- So, I look like I've been caught mid-leapfrog.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Oooh!
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Oh!
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Sandi!
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Yay!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37We've come to the end of that round.
0:27:37 > 0:27:41Real ale, I don't... Really,
0:27:41 > 0:27:44I just want to put alcohol in but that would be very unfair.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Yeah, I'd fight against that.
0:27:46 > 0:27:51Oh, God, the bar stools thing is very tempting because it's never occurred
0:27:51 > 0:27:55to me that if you're... I'm not saying you're short but if you're not tall,
0:27:55 > 0:27:58shall we say, it's a problem.
0:27:58 > 0:28:02But coat hangers, they're badly designed, they're upside down,
0:28:02 > 0:28:04they're complicated, they're hostile,
0:28:04 > 0:28:07I'm going to put coat hangers into Room 101.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08Yay!
0:28:17 > 0:28:19And that brings us to the end of the show.
0:28:19 > 0:28:22Well done, Josh, you were the most persuasive guest, so you are this week's winner.
0:28:29 > 0:28:34Thanks very much Josh Widdicombe, Sandi Toksvig and Vicky McClure,
0:28:34 > 0:28:36and thank you. Goodnight.