0:00:02 > 0:00:09THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE AND ADULT HUMOUR
0:00:21 > 0:00:27APPLAUSE
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Thank you. Thank you very much. Hello, welcome to Good News.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34First up, Sky News revealed the downside of having mirrored floors.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37You're staring at your own personal black hole.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46Is it me, or are Jeremy Paxman's interviews getting too harsh?
0:00:46 > 0:00:47You actually are impotent.
0:00:50 > 0:00:56Don't you hate it when a reporter comes along just when you're trying to steal a dog?
0:00:56 > 0:01:01- Are you going to vote on Thursday? - I don't know yet. We'll have to see.
0:01:01 > 0:01:06- Do you know what the referendum is about?- No, I don't. Bye, now.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11"Bye, now. Shit, they're on to me!"
0:01:11 > 0:01:17Over at BBC Breakfast, Barry Norman revealed the chat-up line he used on Jordan.
0:01:17 > 0:01:22I leaned across the table, took one of those formidable breasts in each hand, squeezed and said, "bah, bah."
0:01:25 > 0:01:27He gets straight to the point.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30And finally, don't forget the main rule of telly.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Never broadcast live from a pub.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37There's a very different atmosphere in this pub now
0:01:37 > 0:01:40than when we got here at eight o'clock.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42It's a different crowd that are here now.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45There are the football fans,
0:01:45 > 0:01:48but when we were here this morning it was full of Andy Murray fans.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53You're probably thinking, I imagine, he stops there. You'd be wrong!
0:01:53 > 0:01:55He made it to the final this time last year,
0:01:55 > 0:01:57the same Australian Open final.
0:01:57 > 0:02:02We were here last year, and we all had our fingers crossed for a different outcome.
0:02:02 > 0:02:07We've been told not to lose heart by some of the greatest tennis players of our time,
0:02:07 > 0:02:09amongst them Andre Agassi.
0:02:09 > 0:02:14He didn't win his first few shots at a grand slam, it happened later...
0:02:16 > 0:02:19APPLAUSE
0:02:19 > 0:02:24The big news of the weekend was obviously the TUC marches against government cuts.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Anti-cuts protests have turned to violence with anarchists
0:02:28 > 0:02:31targeting banks and shops in London's West End.
0:02:31 > 0:02:36I feel sorry for the TUC, a peaceful march hijacked by a few dickheads.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40The anarchists were throwing paint at the police. Why?
0:02:40 > 0:02:44Do they honestly believe George Osborne will change his policies
0:02:44 > 0:02:47if they make a policeman look like he's been jizzed on by a smurf?
0:02:52 > 0:02:56Think it through! The majority of violence took place in Piccadilly.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59If only Sky News could explain where that was.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Those of you who play Monopoly
0:03:01 > 0:03:05will know that Piccadilly is one of the premier locations in London.
0:03:05 > 0:03:11Thanks, Sky News! Do you reckon he uses board games to explain everything?
0:03:11 > 0:03:13"The rioters are pushing sticks through windows.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17"It's just like Kerplunk!"
0:03:17 > 0:03:19So, where did the rioters strike?
0:03:19 > 0:03:23The luxury department store Fortnum & Mason was another target.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28It was overrun by 200 members of the campaign group UK Uncut.
0:03:28 > 0:03:33Fortnum & Mason. Apparently at one point they threatened to attack a bloke inside the shop. Why?
0:03:38 > 0:03:40How wonderful is that?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42I'd love to shake that bloke's hand.
0:03:42 > 0:03:49"Get down, I'm going to kill you you "In a minute, dear boy. This is simply divine!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51"Num, num, num!"
0:03:52 > 0:03:54It wasn't just anarchists caught on camera.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Some people were just out and about enjoying their Saturday night.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01As I've said repeatedly, it's not just full of protesters,
0:04:01 > 0:04:05there are many people just out on a normal Saturday night
0:04:05 > 0:04:07who have got caught up in the violence.
0:04:07 > 0:04:12"Why's my bed got wheels on it?!"
0:04:12 > 0:04:15The media obviously concentrated on the violence.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18I'd like to concentrate on the quality of banners.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Once again, Britain, you've done yourself proud.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Here are a few of my favourites.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24"Cutting is for emo kids."
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Some people compared the cuts to recent tragedies.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34"First Dobby dies, now this?"
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Even youngsters were furious.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41"I was told there would be biscuits."
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Some of the threats were incredible. Look at this.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50"For every cut I'm going to teabag a Tory MP."
0:04:50 > 0:04:54That would be a cracking episode of Question Time.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58We're not the only people... Someone's going, "What's teabagging mean?"
0:04:58 > 0:05:00You don't want to know!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02We're not the only people angry with the cuts,
0:05:02 > 0:05:05the Irish economy is also in tatters, and they've had enough.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07If anything, they're angrier than we are,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10as you can tell from this fantastic interview.
0:05:10 > 0:05:15Today we're talking to a real Irishman in the money business.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18What's going on in Ireland with the Celtic Tiger?
0:05:18 > 0:05:22The banks are hurting so much. What's the story here?
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Do you really want to know? - I'd love to.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Well, it's what's happened all over the Western world over the last 20 or 30 years,
0:05:29 > 0:05:31greed, greed and more fucking greed.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36He's brilliant. Look who he blames.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40Of course, above all, wanking fucking bankers.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Wanking bankers. These arseholes,
0:05:42 > 0:05:46that for the last 20, 30 years are getting massive bonuses.
0:05:46 > 0:05:51"Wanking fucking bankers!" He's not just angry about financial matters.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55You know that Michael Flatley is really from Chicago, but that's another story.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Fuck off!
0:06:01 > 0:06:03So, what else has been going on?
0:06:03 > 0:06:06There's been some cracking alien stories knocking around.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10Military sightings of flying saucers and an alien abduction in London
0:06:10 > 0:06:14feature among thousands of documents released by the Ministry of Defence.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16The Ministry of Defence have released all the reports
0:06:16 > 0:06:19from nutters who claim they've met aliens.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Many of them sketch what they see.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25This is a drawing of a spaceship making crop circles.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Here is a spacecraft near Woolwich.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30This was spotted near Liverpool,
0:06:30 > 0:06:33this near the M4 in South Wales.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Liverpool, Woolwich, South Wales. What are the aliens typing into their sat nav?
0:06:37 > 0:06:39"Must be near a Poundland!"
0:06:42 > 0:06:47I love the drawings. Look at that. It looks like Mr Blobby's cock ring.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53My favourite has to be the one spotted in Wales.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57That's the worst drawing ever!
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Imagine him explaining what that was.
0:06:59 > 0:07:05- WELSH ACCENT:- "The ship looked like an egg. Above it, a bit like a sausage!
0:07:05 > 0:07:12"Hang on a minute! That's not a UFO, I've drawn my breakfast!"
0:07:14 > 0:07:19Not all of them did drawings, one bloke wrote a letter describing his terrible ordeal.
0:07:19 > 0:07:24Then there was a possible alien abduction from a London garden in 1998.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27"I heard a distant roar of engines getting louder.
0:07:27 > 0:07:32"Suddenly a huge craft appeared over the house, heading in a westerly direction.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36"In the morning my wife and I were listening to the radio when the presenter gave a time check.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39"Somehow during the night I'd gained a whole hour.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42"I'm now beginning to wonder if I was abducted."
0:07:42 > 0:07:46And how did the Ministry of Defence reply?
0:07:46 > 0:07:50The MoD wrote back pointing out that night the clocks had changed.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01So beautiful, isn't it?
0:08:01 > 0:08:05I'd love to see the rest of the letter. "I put me rubbish out the other day,
0:08:05 > 0:08:09"woke up in the morning, gone. Aliens!"
0:08:09 > 0:08:14"It gets worse, I told me wife I'd had been abducted. Next day, she'd gone. Aliens."
0:08:14 > 0:08:18"Not just her, all her clothes, all my money and my brother.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22"The aliens took my wife and my brother...
0:08:25 > 0:08:28"Ah, fuck, she's shagging me brother."
0:08:35 > 0:08:39Now, have you heard about the estate agent that pissed off an entire street?
0:08:39 > 0:08:42A North Yorkshire estate agent who tried to sell a house
0:08:42 > 0:08:44by suggesting it would be suitable
0:08:44 > 0:08:46for someone with an interest in pond life,
0:08:46 > 0:08:51smells and being scruffy has succeeded in upsetting an entire neighbourhood.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55He compared the people to pond life. Have a look at his excuse.
0:08:55 > 0:09:00When I do gardening I'm usually wearing scruffy clothes.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04Some gardens have ponds, which have life in them.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08"I was talking about gardening.
0:09:08 > 0:09:13"When I said that the place was full of pricks, I meant the rose bush."
0:09:13 > 0:09:14The locals were livid.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Cue furious reaction from local residents.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20We were all gobfounded!
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Did you hear that? He said he was gobfounded!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27He's so angry, he's making up words.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Next he'll be flabbersmacked!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34He's probably in his house now, going, "People who throw stones
0:09:34 > 0:09:36"should look before they count their eggs!"
0:09:36 > 0:09:39What do you think he's trying to say about the area?
0:09:39 > 0:09:42That we're scruffy, and take drugs, stuff like that.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46Come on, Vicky Pollard's mum!
0:09:46 > 0:09:50You live in the kind of place Jeremy Kyle visits with a net!
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Talking of houses, here's a headline I never thought I'd see.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Apparently there's a house in Wales that looks like Hitler.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Do you want to see it? There it is!
0:10:17 > 0:10:22I love the fact it's made the papers. I've seen loads of houses like that,
0:10:22 > 0:10:25I've seen one like Wayne Rooney.
0:10:25 > 0:10:31Probably my favourite, a church that looks like Barry Chuckle.
0:10:31 > 0:10:36Moving on. Here's a lovely story about a kid rescued from danger.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Now to a drama that had a happy outcome
0:10:39 > 0:10:42as a ten-year-old boy has been talking about how he was stuck
0:10:42 > 0:10:45in quicksand on a Dorset beach.
0:10:45 > 0:10:50I took one step in the mud. Then my shoe came off.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54I could feel myself sinking. Then I just... Well, I...
0:10:58 > 0:11:01This boy is brilliant. Most children would be traumatised. Not him.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Listen to what he gets angry about.
0:11:04 > 0:11:11They got a stretcher thing and put it on the mud. Two firemen came along.
0:11:11 > 0:11:17It was really hard to get out and my shoe and sock came off.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22And my sock is still there.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26APPLAUSE
0:11:29 > 0:11:33"Those bloody firemen should have left me there!
0:11:33 > 0:11:36"First Dobby dies, now this!"
0:11:36 > 0:11:41I bet his mum is saying, "It's OK, we'll get you a new sock."
0:11:41 > 0:11:44"No, Mother, just cut my foot off."
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Poor kid. As if that isn't enough, the newsreader mocks him.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50He'll never see that sock again.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Son of a bitch!
0:11:54 > 0:11:58I'm surprised he didn't hold up the sock and say, "Because it's mine!"
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Some bizarre aviation stories this week.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Have you seen what they're doing on Russian planes?
0:12:08 > 0:12:12In-flight entertainment with a difference.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16No meals, no movies, but a live concert at 30,000 feet.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Music on a plane. I'm not sure it's a good idea.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Some Russians react quite strangely when they enjoy music.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26THEY SING AND PLAY
0:12:29 > 0:12:32GUNFIRE
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Let's pray they're big fans of Justin Bieber.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41SCATTERED APPLAUSE
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Excellent, a few people applauding,
0:12:43 > 0:12:46everyone else, "He's my squirrel prince."
0:12:46 > 0:12:49For me the best thing about the promotion is definitely this.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53The passengers don't know about the concerts before they get on board,
0:12:53 > 0:12:56so a warm welcome's not guaranteed.
0:12:56 > 0:13:01They have no idea! Poor sods! What if you got this?
0:13:01 > 0:13:06# It's Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday
0:13:06 > 0:13:10# Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend... #
0:13:10 > 0:13:14"Crash the plane! I can't take it!"
0:13:14 > 0:13:18It's not just in-flight concerts, they've got other plans...
0:13:18 > 0:13:22We've regarded this as an opportunity to bring the fun back into flying.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26We're looking at clowns, face-painting and jugglers.
0:13:26 > 0:13:32Face-painting? How terrified would you be if you woke up next to your nan and she looked like this?
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Clowns on a plane? Nobody wants that.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41They're creepy and don't work well in a small space.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57I tell you what, some fascinating animal stories in the news.
0:14:01 > 0:14:06This is the bizarre news that male mice woo females by singing at them.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10How does that work? Are they going up to lady mice and just sneaking cheese into love songs?
0:14:10 > 0:14:13# Baby, Baby, Babybel!
0:14:13 > 0:14:17# Baby, Baby, Babybel! #
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Not working? I've got others.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24# D'you fancy some mozzarella-ella-ella-ella? #
0:14:26 > 0:14:28So, why do they sing?
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Christ! Imagine how much clunge this guy gets.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40# Rastamouse and Scratchy and Zoomer
0:14:40 > 0:14:43# Also known as the Easy Crew... #
0:14:43 > 0:14:46# Baby's gonna be covered in my Reggae-Reggae Sauce! #
0:14:48 > 0:14:51It must be terrible if you're a mouse and you can't sing.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53No ladies are interested, so you get desperate.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Just see Rastamouse go "Batty Boy!"
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Did you hear about the bloke in Manchester
0:15:03 > 0:15:06who's got a really weird companion?
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- The nice thing is he doesn't bite. - 'Yes, they make an odd couple.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14'They met on a building site when Nutty was just a week old.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18'Without a mum, Tony nursed him, and the pair have been inseparable since.'
0:15:18 > 0:15:22The whole idea is trust, both sides, you know.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26Me trusting him, and he trusts me.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30Don't "ah"! It's not normal. Ahh...
0:15:30 > 0:15:32You haven't seen what he does with the squirrel.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38'So now where Tony goes, Nutty follows.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42'There's always time to watch TV.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48'Even shower together.
0:15:49 > 0:15:56'Nutty even goes to work with Tony. And at the end of the day, a quick pint.'
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Sometimes you think you've seen it all,
0:15:58 > 0:16:01and then you watch a man take a shower with a squirrel.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07It's a brave bloke who takes a shower with an animal that likes to chew nuts.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Mind you, their showering days may soon be over.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Tony doesn't think their friendship can last.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17As soon as he meets a mate, then he'll be off.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19But that's the end of you and Nutty?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Yeah, but that's life.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23"Fuck 'im!
0:16:24 > 0:16:26"I can shower without that bastard."
0:16:28 > 0:16:32Oh, Nutty. If he lives in the wild, I fear depression may hit him hard.
0:16:32 > 0:16:40# All by myself
0:16:40 > 0:16:45# Don't wanna be all by myself
0:16:45 > 0:16:51# Any more... #
0:16:52 > 0:16:54AUDIENCE GROANS
0:16:55 > 0:16:57APPLAUSE
0:17:00 > 0:17:02This is the part I don't know anything about.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06It's a mystery guest who's been in the news. I've got to figure out who it is.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08So, please welcome my mystery guest!
0:17:08 > 0:17:10APPLAUSE
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Russell. What's your name?
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- Ena Mallett. - Eda?- Ena. Ena Mallett.
0:17:28 > 0:17:33- Ena Mallett?- Yes.- OK. Do you want to stand there?- I'll sit here.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35You get comfy, I'll work around you.
0:17:35 > 0:17:40- Yes, but don't touch that!- I'm not allowed to touch that?- No.- OK. I wasn't going to steal from you.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- I wouldn't allow you to. - You wouldn't?- No.
0:17:44 > 0:17:50OK. Now I want to test to see... Are you like a ninja or something?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Why did you say that?
0:17:53 > 0:17:57Because you threatened to beat me up.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58Have I given the secret away?
0:17:58 > 0:18:00I don't know!
0:18:04 > 0:18:06APPLAUSE
0:18:12 > 0:18:15I'm looking in the bag, you have Polo mints there,
0:18:15 > 0:18:16is it anything to do with mints?
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- Yes.- It has to do with mints? - Eventually.- Eventually.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Any other clues?
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Something about fighting. Have you been fighting in the news?
0:18:27 > 0:18:33- Yes, I have. Sometimes. - Sometimes you...- Sometimes I do.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Sometimes you fight. OK.
0:18:38 > 0:18:43I'm nervous about the next question in case I ask the wrong one and you knock me out.
0:18:43 > 0:18:44- I can easily do that.- OK!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48APPLAUSE
0:18:53 > 0:18:54WOLF WHISTLE
0:18:54 > 0:18:56I didn't want to...
0:18:56 > 0:18:58LAUGHTER
0:18:58 > 0:19:00- Am I supposed to laugh?- Are you?
0:19:00 > 0:19:02You can do whatever you want.
0:19:02 > 0:19:07I'll need more. Why have you been in the news? I need to know.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11I'm an instructor for Spirit Combat jujitsu.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I got seventh dan black belt,
0:19:13 > 0:19:19- and I'm the only lady in the world as far as I know who's got that.- Wow!
0:19:19 > 0:19:22That is worth a round of applause.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24APPLAUSE
0:19:33 > 0:19:36I'm going to show you some of the things I teach now.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38- I look forward to it. - Which is self-defence.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40I won't throw you about like jujitsu
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- because you wouldn't know how to fall, would you?- No!
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Shall we do it over here? I'm going to get beaten up. Brilliant!
0:19:50 > 0:19:55- The Polo mints, how did these get in?- I was working in a shop.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- A boy was stealing these. - So I'll play the role of the thief?
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- You'll play the role of the thief. - OK.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02You'll have this in your left hand.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Oh, OK!
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Ouch!
0:20:12 > 0:20:14APPLAUSE
0:20:20 > 0:20:25- Did I hurt you?- It really hurt. Anything else you want to do to me?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27- Yes.- Do you want to burn my pubes? - Yes.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29LAUGHTER
0:20:29 > 0:20:32- Wouldn't it be great to have you as my personal minder? - Yes, it would.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36- That would be great, wouldn't it? - Grab me round...
0:20:37 > 0:20:42WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Right, hold tight.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Hold tight!
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Oh, right!
0:20:58 > 0:21:03- Have you got any other moves?- Yes. - Let's do them.- Right.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Shall I steal something else? I'll steal your handbag.
0:21:06 > 0:21:07- Yes, steal the handbag.- OK.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14APPLAUSE
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Excuse me, madam? Some bloke who looks like H from Steps just nicked your bag!
0:21:26 > 0:21:30It wasn't me, it was some bloke! It was some nutter.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37It wasn't me, I brought it back!
0:21:39 > 0:21:43- That didn't work very well, did it? - I got the bag.- Yes, right.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Grab here, then.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51Although we're not really meant to do this, but...
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- So grab there?- Yeah.- Whoa!
0:21:58 > 0:22:00So... strike!
0:22:00 > 0:22:03LAUGHTER From behind here.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06APPLAUSE
0:22:09 > 0:22:11All right, all right.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Do you know what I love about it?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24You tell me what you're going to do and yet you still do it.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26"Strike!" "I know what's hap..."
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Don't take this the wrong way,
0:22:30 > 0:22:33but why were you dressed as a lollipop lady?
0:22:33 > 0:22:38Because I am a real lollipop lady at South Walsham School in Norfolk.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Well, there you go.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44APPLAUSE
0:22:44 > 0:22:48This is all the stuff that I wear at school.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Is there anything else that I should know about you, Ena?
0:22:51 > 0:22:55Yes, I do the school gardens at South Walsham, I'm an Avon lady...
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Wow, you do loads. How do you fit it all in?
0:22:58 > 0:23:01I don't know. I don't do any dusting.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Genuinely, a lot of fun, it's been wonderful.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- You'll always remember me, won't you? - Of course I will.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14Every time I see a lollipop lady, I'll be like that... "Argh!
0:23:14 > 0:23:17"I'll go round! Go round!
0:23:19 > 0:23:20"She's mental!"
0:23:21 > 0:23:23But I'll always remember you.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- Can I go now?- Of course you can.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28- We'll give you a lovely of applause, then you can wander off.- Thank you.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for...
0:23:31 > 0:23:32APPLAUSE
0:23:32 > 0:23:34For my mystery guest,
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Ena, the warrior princess! Thank you so much.
0:23:41 > 0:23:47Nothing compares to this next story from Russia. It is unbelievable.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51A viral video circulating the web right now is horrifying parents
0:23:51 > 0:23:54and raising some serious questions about how to handle a baby.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57It's a mind-blower. Most of the clips we're talking about
0:23:57 > 0:24:01on YouTube are called baby yoga or some variation of that.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04You're probably thinking, "How can baby yoga be shocking?"
0:24:04 > 0:24:08Check out this footage. By the way, it is a real baby.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32That is why cocktail barmen should never baby-sit.
0:24:32 > 0:24:37It's not often that Josef Fritzl gets to look at another parent and go, "bit much!
0:24:38 > 0:24:42"It's a bit much, that." In case you're wondering, don't worry,
0:24:42 > 0:24:43the child is absolutely fine.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46I mean, his jumpers don't fit, but he's fine.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Bizarrely, yoga isn't the strangest sport they do with babies in Russia.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53'Baby rugby.'
0:24:56 > 0:24:59'Baby boxing.'
0:25:02 > 0:25:05'Baby clay pigeon shoot.'
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Pull!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Yeah!
0:25:13 > 0:25:14'Yarrr!'
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Russians.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25It's time for the good news story. This is brilliant.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29I'm ending the show with a report about a chef who gave up his career
0:25:29 > 0:25:32to feed and care for the homeless in Madurai, India.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33It's fantastic. Look at this.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57Genuinely beautiful. I really hope you've enjoyed the show. Good night.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:18 > 0:27:21E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk