0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language and adult humour.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Thank you, thank you.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Hello and welcome to Good News. So, what's been happening?
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Over on Newsline, they interviewed Jedward's nan.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38We've got Ruth Mackenzie, the director of the London 2012...
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Dan Lobb was so excited, he got his cock out.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45- THUD! - Crikey!
0:00:47 > 0:00:52BBC Breakfast interviewed the man with the biggest guitar ever.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55The Elizabethan instrument...
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Finally, I don't know what's going on here,
0:00:57 > 0:00:59but I'm pretty sure this guy is happy.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Big news of the week, the new England manager
0:01:13 > 0:01:16was going to be Harry Redknapp, but instead we've got this guy.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20Roy Hodgson has officially been named as the new England manager.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23The big question, though, is what happened with Harry Redknapp,
0:01:23 > 0:01:26the choice of many fans and footballers?
0:01:26 > 0:01:30When I saw it on the news last night, I screamed at the television.
0:01:32 > 0:01:37It's so gutting, everyone wanted Harry and instead we've got Roy!
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Fair to say, the fans have not taken the news well.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42This is awful.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43That is just madness.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47Roy Hodgson? Are they on crack?!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49'Roy Hodgson looks set to be the next England manager...'
0:01:49 > 0:01:52HE WAILS
0:01:56 > 0:01:59APPLAUSE
0:02:01 > 0:02:03It was even worse on Twitter.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13My favourite anti-Hodgson Tweet was this.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19In fairness, he's got a point.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Everyone was depressed
0:02:30 > 0:02:33that Roy Hodgson was chosen as England manager.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34Well, I say everyone...
0:02:38 > 0:02:41It's not the strangest sports story.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Have you heard the latest about the Olympics? Bad news for babies!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Babies will be banned from this year's London Olympics
0:02:48 > 0:02:49unless they have their own ticket.
0:02:49 > 0:02:54That's right, babies have been banned from the Olympics.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58A lot of people are outraged, but come on, babies don't belong there.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Imagine the noise inside the stadium.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02They do not react well to unusual sounds.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04BABY GURGLES
0:03:05 > 0:03:10BRRRRRRR!
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Just leave them at home!
0:03:14 > 0:03:18Put them in the bouncer and slam on some Johnny Cash.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21MUSIC: "Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash
0:03:24 > 0:03:25In fact, that's actually
0:03:25 > 0:03:27how me and my brother are going to watch the Olympics.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41It's not the... That's so much fun, I cannot tell you how much!
0:03:41 > 0:03:43It's not the weirdest Olympics story of the week.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Have you seen how they're planning to protect the Olympic Stadium?
0:03:46 > 0:03:50Residents living in a block of flats in East London are being told
0:03:50 > 0:03:54they could have surface-to-air missiles positioned on their roof.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57I tell you what, that is really going to change EastEnders.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00"EASTENDERS" THEME TUNE
0:04:16 > 0:04:17So, what else has been happening?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Well, it was all kicking off at Tottenham Court Road.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23A man has been arrested after threatening to blow himself up
0:04:23 > 0:04:25in the heart of London's shopping district.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Police snipers were called in
0:04:27 > 0:04:30and thousands of people were evacuated from nearby buildings
0:04:30 > 0:04:33during a three-hour stand-off on Tottenham Court Road.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Did anyone see the drama unfold?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Luckily, Sky News had experts on hand.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42'Something is going on in that office.'
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Cheers, Sky!
0:04:45 > 0:04:48"There's a man with hands, doing a thing!
0:04:48 > 0:04:52"I saw it with my eyes, I'm telling you with my mouth."
0:04:53 > 0:04:55My favourite part of the story
0:04:55 > 0:04:58is how the police got the guy to surrender.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00'Police in the UK have a long history
0:05:00 > 0:05:02'of almost boring people to death.'
0:05:04 > 0:05:06They bored him to death!
0:05:06 > 0:05:09# I know a song that will get on your nerves
0:05:09 > 0:05:11# Get on your nerves Get on your nerves
0:05:11 > 0:05:13# I know a song that will get on your nerves
0:05:13 > 0:05:15# And it goes like this. #
0:05:15 > 0:05:18# Baby, baby, baby, oh... #
0:05:21 > 0:05:23What's been going on with the weather?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Two weeks ago, it was bone dry. Now, it's like this.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Torrential rain.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29- Flood warnings.- Strong winds.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Trees down. - Filthy, foul, soaking day.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35It's wetter than an otter's pocket.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42An otter's pocket?
0:05:43 > 0:05:47Our weather has been like watching Question Time, then Loose Women.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Really dry, then totally shit.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54It's so annoying, this must be the wettest drought ever!
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Although in fairness, not everyone hates a flood.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01Here we go, puddle at the bottom of the hill, coming up!
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Come on, come on!
0:06:02 > 0:06:04YEEEAAHH!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07BRILLIANT!
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Have you heard the latest about kids?
0:06:14 > 0:06:15Children as young as ten
0:06:15 > 0:06:19are accessing explicit and violent material online.
0:06:19 > 0:06:20Or, as the Daily Mail put it...
0:06:23 > 0:06:28Addicted to porn, aged ten. I tell you what, the world has changed.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30The closest I got to porn when I was that age was
0:06:30 > 0:06:32when one of my mates did this.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Porn would have freaked me right out!
0:06:38 > 0:06:41"Why has that woman got a gerbil in her lap?"
0:06:42 > 0:06:44"Oh, my Lord!"
0:06:46 > 0:06:50"This film makes no sense, Dave! It makes no sense!
0:06:50 > 0:06:53"He's turned up dressed as a plumber.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55"He ain't done no plumbing!"
0:06:59 > 0:07:02"That is not how you fix a radiator, what is he doing?!"
0:07:03 > 0:07:05"No wonder she's moaning."
0:07:07 > 0:07:10"Well, someone's hungry!
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Mind you...
0:07:13 > 0:07:16One thing I will say, it's pretty rich of the Daily Mail
0:07:16 > 0:07:20to complain about kids looking at porn. Have you seen their website?
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Half-naked lady, half-naked lady, half-naked lady,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26cock in a frock.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Classic Daily Mail -
0:07:28 > 0:07:31"Ban porn! But do check out Kelly Brook's growler."
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Such an overreaction. Not all kids are watching filth.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37Some are in the garden,
0:07:37 > 0:07:40just having a bit of innocent fun with their mates.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Oooh!
0:07:46 > 0:07:49From one shocking story to another.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Now to the Arkansas police officer under investigation this morning
0:07:53 > 0:07:56for using a Taser on a ten-year-old girl.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57That's right... Don't laugh!
0:07:59 > 0:08:02A policeman Tasered a ten-year-old girl!
0:08:02 > 0:08:05So, what terrible crime did this evil child commit?
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Kelly King says her ten-year-old daughter was acting out,
0:08:08 > 0:08:10refusing to take a shower.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Holy shit! How over the top is that?
0:08:14 > 0:08:17"Have a shower." "No!"
0:08:17 > 0:08:19ARRRRRR!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22The poor girl will never miss a shower again!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24She'll be scrubbing for hours.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27HE WHIMPERS
0:08:27 > 0:08:29By the time she's done, she'll look like this.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Times have changed.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36When my mum was naughty, they didn't Taser her,
0:08:36 > 0:08:38they just put a budgie on her head.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Mind you, we shouldn't be surprised. This is America.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Their police are pretty hardcore.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57Listen to this emergency call from a concerned parent.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07What was the police response?
0:09:13 > 0:09:16LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:09:18 > 0:09:20In fairness,
0:09:20 > 0:09:23we have all seen an annoying child we'd like to shoot.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26# Baby, baby, baby, oh... #
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Now for some strange science.
0:09:33 > 0:09:34Did you hear about this?
0:09:34 > 0:09:37It's probably not what you'd wear to nip to the shops
0:09:37 > 0:09:40or drop the children at school,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42but then this cape is unique.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46It's made from the thread of more than a million golden orb spiders.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48If your mum rocked up to school like that,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51it would freak you right out. "All right, Russ?"
0:09:54 > 0:09:56"The spiders made my cardigan."
0:09:58 > 0:10:01"Did they, Mum?" "Yeeeeeah...
0:10:01 > 0:10:04"and the hedgehogs have made my slippers."
0:10:06 > 0:10:09"Mum, have you been taking your pills?"
0:10:09 > 0:10:12"Nooo."
0:10:12 > 0:10:13This story is so weird.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Check out the creepy way they make this cape!
0:10:16 > 0:10:19To make this cape, the spiders are prised from their webs
0:10:19 > 0:10:21first thing in the morning
0:10:21 > 0:10:23and clamped into special harnesses.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26They put them in a fucking harness!
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Argh! It gets worse. Look what they do next!
0:10:31 > 0:10:35A long continuous golden thread is then extracted by hand.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38"ARGH!
0:10:38 > 0:10:41"Get your finger out of my arse!
0:10:41 > 0:10:43"Nooo!
0:10:43 > 0:10:46"I just want to eat flies!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49"I just want to eat flies!"
0:10:49 > 0:10:52That is the weirdest job ever.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55There must be a moment when you're pulling white stuff
0:10:55 > 0:10:57out of a spider's anus when you go,
0:10:57 > 0:11:00"You know, I should really have tried harder at school."
0:11:00 > 0:11:03In fact that should be an advert.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06"Dave didn't do his homework and now he's fingering a daddy longlegs."
0:11:06 > 0:11:08LAUGHTER
0:11:08 > 0:11:13There's probably one bloke at home going, "Sounds like my dream job!"
0:11:15 > 0:11:19Despite all this madness, the reporter claims the spiders love it.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21After about 20 minutes,
0:11:21 > 0:11:25the spiders are released unharmed back into nature.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Unharmed?!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Unharmed?! "All right, Barry, where have you been?"
0:11:29 > 0:11:31"Aarr...
0:11:31 > 0:11:34"He wore me like a glove."
0:11:39 > 0:11:41"They were pulling for 20 minutes before they realised
0:11:41 > 0:11:43"it wasn't my thread."
0:11:43 > 0:11:45AUDIENCE GROANS
0:11:45 > 0:11:47"Look at it!
0:11:47 > 0:11:50"It looks like a Christmas stocking."
0:11:53 > 0:11:56My favourite animal story of the week, though, is this belter.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04There was a kung fu hamster
0:12:04 > 0:12:07terrorising people in Slovakia.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09The reason I love this story so much
0:12:09 > 0:12:12is because some genius took a photo of the hamster.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Prepare yourself.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17This is one of the greatest photos you will ever see.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19RAUCOUS LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:12:27 > 0:12:30The best thing - not only is he throwing kung fu shapes,
0:12:30 > 0:12:32look at his mouth,
0:12:32 > 0:12:35it looks like he's going, "Surprise, arsehole!"
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Elsewhere in Britain, check out this terrifying headline.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50HE GASPS
0:12:52 > 0:12:54What did the body turn out to be?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01This is such a bizarre story.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04A fake ET was stolen by burglars from an old lady's house
0:13:04 > 0:13:06and then two months later, he turns up on a beach.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Here he is, reunited with his owner
0:13:08 > 0:13:13and he doesn't look in any way freaked out by the experience.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15LAUGHTER
0:13:15 > 0:13:17I knew ET would come home.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20How scared does he look?
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Look at that!
0:13:21 > 0:13:25He looks like he's been living in Charlie Sheen's mind.
0:13:26 > 0:13:31Like someone's drawn baby's eyes on an old man's scrotum -
0:13:31 > 0:13:33he does not look well.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35A classic local news story.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Check out the dramatic re-enactment.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41A 999 call to coastguards and police from a walker
0:13:41 > 0:13:44who's seen a body floating in the sea.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47But it's not human, ET has come home.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Minus his magic healing finger.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Washed up on a beach,
0:13:56 > 0:13:58missing a finger?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00He wasn't kidnapped.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01He was on a stag do!
0:14:01 > 0:14:05CLUB STYLE DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:14:27 > 0:14:28That's what he was doing.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32ET was on a stag do.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35What else?
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Remember the Dutch guy from last week? He had a hip operation,
0:14:37 > 0:14:39now he can't stop doing this.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Well, he's back in the news.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Since we showed him, he's become a massive celebrity in Japan.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52He's still laughing,
0:14:52 > 0:14:55his wife is still really, really grumpy.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22She hates him so much
0:15:22 > 0:15:25and he loves winding her up.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Listen to this.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43I think we all know how this is going to end.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47MUFFLED LAUGHTER
0:15:49 > 0:15:51SHE CACKLES
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Over in Holland,
0:16:01 > 0:16:03a shocking new TV show.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06A couple of publicity-hungry Dutch TV show hosts
0:16:06 > 0:16:08had a disturbing meal.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10How disturbing?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12They ate each other's flesh.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15AUDIENCE GASPS
0:16:15 > 0:16:18They ate each other's flesh?!
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Ain't nobody got time for that!
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Let's meet these freaks!
0:16:28 > 0:16:31'Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno
0:16:31 > 0:16:35'had small pieces of their abdomen and posterior surgically removed,
0:16:35 > 0:16:38'then cooked by a chef.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41'They then ate it on their own show.'
0:16:41 > 0:16:43They chopped off bits of their arse
0:16:43 > 0:16:45and cooked them in a frying pan.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48I'd love to see Gordon Ramsay do that.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53Fuck! Shit! Piss! Wank!
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Son of a bitch!
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Done.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04It makes you wonder, though, if you had to eat someone, who would it be?
0:17:04 > 0:17:06I asked my brother, he said he'd eat Cheryl Cole,
0:17:06 > 0:17:09but I'm not sure he understood the question.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12He's obsessed with her. He made me do this.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14If you're watching, Cheryl, I'm sorry.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16This is actually my brother, Daniel.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Cheryl, call me.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Oh...?
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Supper's up.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Supper's up, everybody.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39This is the part of the show I genuinely know nothing about.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41This could be a mystery guest who's been in the news
0:17:41 > 0:17:43and I have to figure out who that person is.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46So, please welcome my mystery guest.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- Hello. I'm Russell, what's your name?- Pali.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Pali, what a great name.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- So I imagine it has something to do with food.- Yes.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09OK. Er, do you run a fine restaurant?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Er...kind of, yes.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Kind of? It's a shit hole?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- You'll have to give me another clue. - It's Italian food.- Yes.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Pizza! >
0:18:19 > 0:18:22It's what, love? Oh, pizza!
0:18:22 > 0:18:24- Yes.- Oh, right, OK.
0:18:24 > 0:18:25Are you some form of pizza flinger?
0:18:25 > 0:18:29That sounded like a horrendous euphemism for...
0:18:29 > 0:18:31"That bloke's a pizza flinger!"
0:18:31 > 0:18:32You're very close actually.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35- You're a pizza flinger? - Something like that.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Er, you like slapping your dough about?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42- You're renowned for your meat feast?- Yes.- Nice, nice.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Look at the camera and say, "Damn right, baby." That will be a lovely moment.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47You're renowned for your meat feast?
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- Damn right, baby.- Ah!
0:18:49 > 0:18:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- So do you hold a record?- Yes.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01So I'm close, you have the record for spinning pizzas around.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04- Kind of, yes.- OK. Well, what is the actual answer?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I was in the news lately because I'm the fastest pizza maker in the world.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08There you go, excellent.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15How quickly can you make a pizza?
0:19:15 > 0:19:20- I've got the world record of making three pizzas in 39 seconds.- Wow.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22APPLAUSE
0:19:26 > 0:19:29So you're literally a dream for people who smoke pot.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33They should have a little version of you in their cupboard.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37"Oh, we need a... Yeah, the pizza pixie done it again!"
0:19:38 > 0:19:42- Exactly.- Of course. So are we going to make some pizza?
0:19:42 > 0:19:44- Yes, we are.- Let's do this.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02APPLAUSE
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Right. So, go on, make that pizza.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07- I'm going to teach you by the way. - Great.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10- OK, so this is our dough that comes out.- Yes.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12- We are going to define the edge.- Yes.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Just like this, this makes a nice crust.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Then we're going to stretch it to size.- Yes.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Don't laugh at the words "stretch it to size"!
0:20:21 > 0:20:26- Once you've done that, maybe you can do this.- Oh, yes. That's good.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28AUDIENCE WHOOPS
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Nice work.- We place it down onto a screen. OK.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Get some sauce.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- Spread it around nicely.- Yes. - OK. Now with this...
0:20:36 > 0:20:38LAUGHTER
0:20:40 > 0:20:43With this competition, as much as it's called the fastest pizza maker,
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- you have got to make it with a proper quality.- Of course.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- Sprinkle some cheese on.- Yes.
0:20:48 > 0:20:53- OK, then I'm going to put some pepperoni on there. And voila.- Sweet.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54There you go. And now my turn.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57We're going to add a twist to your one, Russell.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01I want to make a pizza that will be called a Russell Howard Special.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02Sweet.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06I've got an idea, let's do two pepperonis as eyes
0:21:06 > 0:21:07and one of them's slightly off.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:21:11 > 0:21:15- Are you ready?- Yes. - Ready, set, begin.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Define the edge.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19CHEERING
0:21:19 > 0:21:23Stretch it out, that's it. Make sure you're being nice to the dough.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27- I'm being nice.- Yes.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33- OK, so now you're going to place it onto the screen.- Ooh yes, lovely.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36- Something like that.- Um-mm. - Get some sauce.
0:21:36 > 0:21:41- I would have made about ten by now. - Tender, treat it right.- OK, yes.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43- Some cheese on there.- Cheese.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Pepperoni.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50One eye, one eye, one eye, the other eye, sad eye.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52I think the chicken will...
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Chicken for the mouth, good thinking. Bacon mouth!
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- This is supposed to be the fastest. - It is very fast.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- That's me.- And that's it. Brilliant.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04APPLAUSE
0:22:09 > 0:22:14- Why don't we go against each other and see who's quickest?- Yes?
0:22:14 > 0:22:18- But you're only allowed to use one hand.- Yeah? Seems fair.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23- But they've got to be good, though, yeah?- They've got to be good.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- I'll go that side.- You go this side.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29- So one-handed.- I'm doing it with two. Right, ready?
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Right, define the edge, go, go.
0:22:38 > 0:22:39SHOUTING AND CHEERING
0:22:41 > 0:22:45CHANTING: Russell, Russell, Russell!
0:22:57 > 0:23:01APPLAUSE
0:23:01 > 0:23:06Look at that, even with one hand yours is magnificent.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07Don't.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10I would shake you hand, but I'm covered. Let's fist bump.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Ladies and gentlemen, round of applause for Pali.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Bad news for the economy, we're in recession.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24A major blow to the economy...
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Britain is officially back...
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Into a double dip recession.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29- Double dip.- Double dip.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Double dip recession.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33I wish they wouldn't call it a double dip.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36A double dip sounds like something
0:23:36 > 0:23:38posh boys call a threesome, doesn't it?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40"Cleggy, get Boris, let's have a double dip."
0:23:42 > 0:23:46Talking of posh boys, does anyone trust George Osborne?
0:23:46 > 0:23:50He doesn't look like the kind of guy to solve a financial crisis.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54He looks like the kind of bloke you'd see in Tesco
0:23:54 > 0:23:57smiling at the cheese.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00So why are people so angry with George?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Well, a lot of it is to do with pasties.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06Hundreds of bakers protested in London against Government plans
0:24:06 > 0:24:09to put 20% sales tax on hot takeaway food.
0:24:09 > 0:24:15People were livid. I've never seen anyone get this angry over a snack.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- You can take our freedom, you Tory- BLEEP,
0:24:18 > 0:24:21you will NOT take my fucking sausage rolls!
0:24:30 > 0:24:32He's like a chubby Braveheart.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37All this economic turmoil has put Labour ahead
0:24:37 > 0:24:38in the polls.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Let's be honest, though, is Ed Miliband ever going to get in power?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Would you really vote for this guy?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Eh...
0:24:46 > 0:24:49A lot of people don't even know who he is!
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Does anyone really know who Ed Miliband is?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53I have no idea. Who is he?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- Do you recognise him? - Yeah, David Miliband.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00You've been two years in the job. Shouldn't they know which brother you are?
0:25:04 > 0:25:06APPLAUSE
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Now, this is the inspirational story of Josh Dueck,
0:25:11 > 0:25:15a paraplegic skier who set himself an amazing goal.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Back in 2004, aspiring pro-skater and friend of mine Josh Dueck
0:25:19 > 0:25:22broke his back when a flip on skis went tragically wrong.
0:25:22 > 0:25:27He ended up a T11 full paraplegic, which pretty much means
0:25:27 > 0:25:31that he had no feeling in his body from about this point down.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35Last year, we worked on a documentary together called The Freedom Chair,
0:25:35 > 0:25:38and during filming, Josh just blew me away
0:25:38 > 0:25:41with what he was able to do on a sit-ski.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45While we were out filming, the whole time,
0:25:45 > 0:25:49Josh kept talking about wanting to go upside-down on snow again,
0:25:49 > 0:25:52so here we are in Whistler, and we're going to try and make it happen.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55It all started a few months back at Woodward's at Copper.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57I started jumping around in the foam pit
0:25:57 > 0:26:01and I realised the back-flip was possible. From there, the natural progression
0:26:01 > 0:26:04was to bring it on to the airbag at Blackcomb in their train park.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05And then it was on.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Whoa-ho-ho!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Wo-o-oo!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34CHEERING
0:26:34 > 0:26:38This is something I've been dreaming about ever since I was laid out in the hospital.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40I've wanted back on the horse ever since I got knocked off.
0:26:40 > 0:26:45To be able to go back out there and do this flip with all my friends...
0:26:45 > 0:26:47It simply does not get any better than that.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51- Pretty cool, though. Pretty cool. - APPLAUSE
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Thank you very much for watching Good News.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Good night.
0:27:02 > 0:27:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd