Episode 5

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0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains strong language and adult humour.

0:00:21 > 0:00:23APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:00:27 > 0:00:28Wow, thank you!

0:00:31 > 0:00:33Hello.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36Hello, and welcome to Good News.

0:00:36 > 0:00:37So, what's been happening?

0:00:37 > 0:00:41Is it me, or has Bono REALLY let himself go?

0:00:41 > 0:00:44How much does one of these cost and how much extra...?

0:00:44 > 0:00:48I'll tell you what, some journalists have got weird names.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Hello, my name is Lesbian.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Over on BBC Breakfast,

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Susanna Reid described what her orgasms sound like.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59It sounds like a dwarf, driving a truck

0:00:59 > 0:01:01without being able to reach the pedals.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06"Ngggah! Ngggah!"

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Mine are more kind of, "Mmm."

0:01:10 > 0:01:15Finally, this has to be the best delayed reaction I've ever seen.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33So the major story in the news was, of course, the local elections.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Millions of voters have been casting their ballots.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38Labour trounced the Conservatives in the local elections.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41David Cameron apologised to Tory candidates who'd lost their seats.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44Sorry.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47Mind you, if you think the Tories had a bad night,

0:01:47 > 0:01:49look what happened to the Lib Dems.

0:01:49 > 0:01:54In one council ward in Edinburgh, their candidate was even beaten

0:01:54 > 0:01:55by a man dressed as a penguin.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Beaten by a man dressed as a penguin!

0:02:00 > 0:02:02"Good night?"

0:02:02 > 0:02:05"No. I lost to Pingu."

0:02:06 > 0:02:08This guy wins my award

0:02:08 > 0:02:11for most literal piece of journalism of the week.

0:02:11 > 0:02:15A shout, a wave, and a reassuring pat on the back

0:02:15 > 0:02:19followed by a few more waves and then some handshakes.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22That is the Ronseal of journalism.

0:02:22 > 0:02:27"Now he's walking using his feet, left, right, left, right.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29"Left, right.

0:02:29 > 0:02:34"Left, right. Left, right.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36"Left, right.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39"Left, left, bit of hopping, left."

0:02:40 > 0:02:44Sky News and BBC One blew the budget on fancy graphics.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47So, the Conservatives are still the largest party.

0:02:47 > 0:02:52David Cameron comes into this election expecting to lose seats.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54BBC Scotland? They went to Poundland.

0:02:54 > 0:02:58All the candidates who have reached that magic number are in.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01The big election story was definitely the battle

0:03:01 > 0:03:02to become London Mayor.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05In the last couple of weeks, the candidates have lost it.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Ken Livingstone told us he only likes dead people.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10Favourite Londoner?

0:03:10 > 0:03:13Favourite Londoner? No-one who's currently alive.

0:03:15 > 0:03:19Jenny Jones came across as a bit of a goer.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Favourite place in London? - My bedroom.

0:03:23 > 0:03:28And Brian Paddick revealed what he shouts at the point of orgasm.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29Ooh, Sherlock Holmes!

0:03:36 > 0:03:39To be honest, there was only ever going to be one winner.

0:03:39 > 0:03:44Boris Johnson is re-elected Mayor of London.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46- Are you ready?- "No," is the answer.

0:03:48 > 0:03:49"I haven't a bloody clue!

0:03:49 > 0:03:52"Didn't even know I was Mayor."

0:03:52 > 0:03:56Did you see why Boris' dad reckons he won?

0:03:56 > 0:04:00Why is it Boris is possibly the most popular Tory in London?

0:04:00 > 0:04:01It's probably to do with his hair,

0:04:01 > 0:04:04you know, hair counts for a lot nowadays.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07I've still got a bit of hair but he has more hair.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11I love the fact you weren't sure that was his dad,

0:04:11 > 0:04:15and the second he started talking, "Oh, no, it's definitely Boris'..."

0:04:15 > 0:04:18He's great, isn't he? "Nothing to do with policies. It's his hair!

0:04:18 > 0:04:20"Have you seen it?

0:04:20 > 0:04:24"You could fit a family of barn owls in that magnificent thatch.

0:04:24 > 0:04:30"In fact, sometimes I look at my son and think, 'Ooh, Sherlock Holmes!'"

0:04:32 > 0:04:34He wasn't the only one impressed with Boris.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Boris Johnson is a very charismatic guy,

0:04:36 > 0:04:39he's a potential leader of the Conservative Party,

0:04:39 > 0:04:40he's very attractive...

0:04:40 > 0:04:44Attractive?! No, he's not, he looks like a llama.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:04:50 > 0:04:51I know why Boris won.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Because he's a lovable buffoon.

0:04:54 > 0:04:58- Where's the leaflets, team?- There. - Oh, there. Sorry.

0:04:59 > 0:05:00"Sorry!"

0:05:00 > 0:05:02He also promised that if he won,

0:05:02 > 0:05:05he'd reveal the nickname for his penis.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07It's true. Here were some of the contenders.

0:05:07 > 0:05:11Is it the sombrero, is it the horseshoe mushroom?

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Is it a gigantic UFO?

0:05:14 > 0:05:18Is it the world's biggest-ever example of a half-eaten macaroon?

0:05:20 > 0:05:21They're all good.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25But tonight I can officially announce the winner is...

0:05:25 > 0:05:27OK, um...

0:05:27 > 0:05:28Dr Johnson.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Dr Johnson.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35He's the one-eyed physician and he's on a mission.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40It's ridiculous. Dr Johnson?! He sounds like a pervy superhero.

0:05:40 > 0:05:45"I am Dr Johnson. I have only one nemesis in this world."

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Hello, my name is Lesbian.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52"We'll see about that, lady!"

0:05:56 > 0:05:59I tell you what, some shocking health stories knocking about.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Did you see this?

0:06:01 > 0:06:03A mother with a passion for tanning

0:06:03 > 0:06:06is facing a charge of child endangerment

0:06:06 > 0:06:09after being accused of allowing her young daughter into a tanning booth.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11Passion for tanning?

0:06:11 > 0:06:14You're probably thinking, "I doubt she does it that much."

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Well, feast your eyes on this mess.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18If people get...

0:06:18 > 0:06:22To each his own. To each his own. I like it, yeah.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25She looks like a fucking Lion bar!

0:06:27 > 0:06:29What is that?!

0:06:31 > 0:06:35Listen to what she reckons her kid was actually doing at the tan shop.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37I'm in the booth.

0:06:37 > 0:06:41She's outside playing princess, trying to be like Mummy.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45Trying to be like Mum? What, is she head-butting Marmite?

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Check out this wonderful bit of bullshit.

0:06:49 > 0:06:50When I talked with her today,

0:06:50 > 0:06:53she told me she did NOT go to the tanning salon today,

0:06:53 > 0:06:56and the dark colour you see on her face is make-up.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59Make-up?! Only if she's using this.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02LAUGHTER

0:07:02 > 0:07:05So, what's next? Oh, my God, did you hear about this?

0:07:14 > 0:07:19He had a boner for two years!

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Ain't nobody got time for that!

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Ain't nobody got time for that!

0:07:26 > 0:07:29What I want to know, what was he doing to the motorbike

0:07:29 > 0:07:30to get an erection?

0:07:30 > 0:07:32"Dave...

0:07:32 > 0:07:35"that is not how you check the oil."

0:07:35 > 0:07:38Tell you what, I bet he doesn't do the school run.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41"Who wants a lift with Daddy?" "I'll walk. I'll walk."

0:07:41 > 0:07:44Let's hope he never has an accident. Imagine that, laid on the floor

0:07:44 > 0:07:48with a massive rod on. You know the police would take the piss. "Pass me that doughnut.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50"Hoopla!"

0:07:51 > 0:07:54He's not the unluckiest bloke in the news.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Have a look at what happened to man from Poland.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00He dumped his girlfriend, who happens to be a dentist,

0:08:00 > 0:08:02for another woman

0:08:02 > 0:08:05and then days later went to his ex's office to have some dental work done.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07So what did she do?

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Well, she gave her ex a large dose of anaesthetic

0:08:09 > 0:08:13and yanked all 32 of his teeth.

0:08:13 > 0:08:14AUDIENCE GROANS

0:08:14 > 0:08:17What a bitch. She's like the most fucked-up tooth fairy ever.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21It gets worse.

0:08:21 > 0:08:22He's now single,

0:08:22 > 0:08:25after his new girlfriend dumped him for being toothless.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28That is a tough week!

0:08:28 > 0:08:31"I've got no teeth. Do you still love me?"

0:08:31 > 0:08:33"No, you look like a plunger."

0:08:35 > 0:08:39Poor sod. If he hears this on the radio, he'll top himself.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43# You better smile, smile, smile smile, smile, smile, smile

0:08:43 > 0:08:46# Smile, smile, smile smile, smile, smile

0:08:46 > 0:08:49# Ah-ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah

0:08:49 > 0:08:55# You better smile. #

0:08:55 > 0:08:57LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:09:01 > 0:09:03Now here is a WEIRD headline.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11And I predict she lives alone...

0:09:11 > 0:09:13and has many cats.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17Let's check out her magical powers.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29Behold the mystical, delicate way she makes that prediction.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Ugh!

0:09:34 > 0:09:37I tried it earlier and it said what we're all thinking.

0:09:37 > 0:09:38Ohhh....

0:09:39 > 0:09:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:09:46 > 0:09:50Now, talking of bollocks, big news in the art world.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52The Turner Prize nominations have been announced.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55In case you are not familiar, here's some previous winners.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58Well, we've had unmade beds, pickled sharks and even elephant dung.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00The Turner Prize wouldn't be the Turner Prize

0:10:00 > 0:10:03without causing just a little bit of controversy.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07They're not controversial, they're just a bit shit. Look at this.

0:10:07 > 0:10:11Performance artist Spartacus Chetwynd has been nominated

0:10:11 > 0:10:15for the Turner Prize, for this piece, Odd Man Out.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17LAUGHTER

0:10:17 > 0:10:20It's like beach volleyball for Goths.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23I wonder what the asparagus thinks of it.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Next up, this cheery ray of sunshine.

0:10:30 > 0:10:34Luke Fowler has also been nominated for his third film

0:10:34 > 0:10:37exploring the life of Scottish psychiatrist RD Laing.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Darkness, desolation,

0:10:40 > 0:10:43life pared down to the bone.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46# If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. #

0:10:46 > 0:10:49- AUDIENCE CLAP - Don't clap!

0:10:49 > 0:10:52In fairness, this next one is pretty good.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Paul Noble has been nominated

0:10:54 > 0:10:58for a series of detailed pencil drawings of Nobson Newtown...

0:10:58 > 0:11:02Those are amazing, aren't they? So, what's Nobson Newtown?

0:11:02 > 0:11:06..a fictional metropolis populated by turds.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14People who look like turds?

0:11:14 > 0:11:16I wonder who could live there.

0:11:16 > 0:11:20To each his own. To each his own. I like it, yeah.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27The big news from France was, of course, this.

0:11:27 > 0:11:29France has elected a new president tonight.

0:11:29 > 0:11:33The socialist Francois Hollande has defeated Nicolas Sarkozy

0:11:33 > 0:11:34by a clear majority.

0:11:34 > 0:11:38Here's a tip. If you are going to report on the French elections,

0:11:38 > 0:11:39find somewhere quiet.

0:11:39 > 0:11:43I have to say we witnessed it back at the American elections...

0:11:43 > 0:11:44Victoria Beckham!

0:11:46 > 0:11:48Rihanna! Yes!

0:11:48 > 0:11:51..where John McCain lost. The complete contrast

0:11:51 > 0:11:53in the celebrations here...

0:11:55 > 0:11:58Victoria Beckham, she's very beautiful.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01I think we're going to have to leave Robert there.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03"I love you so much, Victoria!"

0:12:03 > 0:12:05So, what else has been going on?

0:12:05 > 0:12:09Well, a year on from his death, Osama bin Laden is back in the news.

0:12:09 > 0:12:13New insights into al-Qaeda strategy have been revealed in papers

0:12:13 > 0:12:16which were seized from Osama bin Laden's hideout in Pakistan

0:12:16 > 0:12:17after he was killed.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20The US have released hundreds of secret files

0:12:20 > 0:12:23found in bin Laden's lair. Most of them are about terror attacks.

0:12:23 > 0:12:27But the one that really caught my eye was this.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34How weird is that?

0:12:34 > 0:12:38I love the idea that, when he got a bit fed up with terror,

0:12:38 > 0:12:40he'd go to his own special little room,

0:12:40 > 0:12:43shut all the doors...

0:12:47 > 0:12:52# Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

0:12:52 > 0:12:55# I wanna feel the heat with somebody

0:12:55 > 0:12:59# Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

0:12:59 > 0:13:05# With somebody who loves me. #

0:13:09 > 0:13:12"How long have you been there?"

0:13:12 > 0:13:16"Long enough, Osama! Long enough."

0:13:17 > 0:13:20It wasn't just Whitney. He had other habits.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22A US official tells ABC News

0:13:22 > 0:13:26that a huge stash of pornography was discovered.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28There is no way to tell if bin Laden looked at it,

0:13:28 > 0:13:31but it was found right in his bedroom.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33Busted!

0:13:33 > 0:13:36Osama bin Laden, Osama bin Wanking.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39I'll tell you what,

0:13:39 > 0:13:43this brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "Afghan hound".

0:13:43 > 0:13:45I like that joke.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47What I want to know, what films was he watching?

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Well, luckily, I found a list of his favourites.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52You will not find these in Blockbusters.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03But apparently his favourite was the mesmerising...

0:14:09 > 0:14:10LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:14:13 > 0:14:17It's an absolute classic. I know one guy that watched it and he loved it.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Ooh, Sherlock Holmes.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23Over to Australia and a stuck toddler.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Playful and curious like any three-year-old boy,

0:14:26 > 0:14:29little Noah Geoffrey has a taste for adventure -

0:14:29 > 0:14:32or perhaps misadventure,

0:14:32 > 0:14:35getting himself trapped inside a vending machine yesterday afternoon.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38He was stuck in a vending machine.

0:14:38 > 0:14:42So, did he start crying, screaming for his mum? Oh, no.

0:14:42 > 0:14:47Generous Noah, handing out toys and lollies to his friends.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50Isn't he great? He's like a toddler Robin Hood.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53"Fuck the dentist, have a Curly Wurly."

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Even better, look at the reaction of his mates.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00All the kids on the outside were encouraging him,

0:15:00 > 0:15:03and laughing and telling him which toy they wanted.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06That's like a cute version of the London riots.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10"Give me a Buzz Lightyear, quickly, mate, the filth are coming.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12"Come on!"

0:15:12 > 0:15:15That kid must be a god at his nursery,

0:15:15 > 0:15:17just sat in a sandpit surrounded by girls.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20- AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: - "Toys R Us? Toys R fucking me!"

0:15:22 > 0:15:25"Which one of you babes is going to give me a massage?

0:15:25 > 0:15:26"I should warn you.

0:15:26 > 0:15:30"I like my massages like I like my nursery rhymes -

0:15:30 > 0:15:32"with a happy ending."

0:15:34 > 0:15:36APPLAUSE

0:15:42 > 0:15:45"I'm the scariest little kid you've ever seen!"

0:15:45 > 0:15:48To be honest, I'm surprised he kept so calm in the machine.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51You know how excited kids get around toys.

0:15:53 > 0:15:57MUMMY! NO! NO!

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Have a look at why this guy made the news.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07A Wisconsin man has made quite the name for himself,

0:16:07 > 0:16:09not because of what he was arrested for,

0:16:09 > 0:16:12but because of, well, what he named himself.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15This is brilliant. Check out his name.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18We would like you to meet...

0:16:20 > 0:16:25Sounds like something Louis Armstrong shouts when he comes!

0:16:25 > 0:16:32Beezow Doo-Doo Zopitty Bop-Bop-Bop...

0:16:32 > 0:16:37# What a wonderful world. #

0:16:37 > 0:16:38(Sherlock Holmes!)

0:16:39 > 0:16:42His name is brilliant and so are his hobbies.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45According to Beezow's Facebook page,

0:16:45 > 0:16:48he's a member of the Orthodox Church Of Jerry Garcia Fans

0:16:48 > 0:16:50and he enjoys...

0:16:50 > 0:16:52thinking.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56And what he enjoys thinking is,

0:16:56 > 0:16:59"What's the stupidest fucking name I can come up with?"

0:16:59 > 0:17:03It isn't just me taking the piss. Even the weatherman had a pop.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05Let's see how the guys in prison pronounce his name!

0:17:07 > 0:17:09How harsh is that?!

0:17:09 > 0:17:13"By the time they're done, his ass will look like a yawning hippo.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16"You don't need asparagus to get what I'm driving at."

0:17:20 > 0:17:23APPLAUSE

0:17:26 > 0:17:29This is the part of the show I don't know anything about.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31There's a mystery guest who's been in the news

0:17:31 > 0:17:34and I have to figure out who that person is. So, please welcome our mystery guest.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36CHEERING

0:17:43 > 0:17:48- Hello, nice to meet you. How are you?- I'm good.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50- What's your name?- Rachael. - Nice to meet you, can I sit here?

0:17:50 > 0:17:54- Yeah, if you want to. It's quite uncomfortable.- It is a bit.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57- Mine actually moves, though. - How comes mine doesn't move?

0:17:57 > 0:18:00- Cos mine's cooler. - Well, how unfair is that?

0:18:02 > 0:18:05It's like we're a brother and sister

0:18:05 > 0:18:07and the family don't love me.

0:18:07 > 0:18:11"Why doesn't mine move?" "Cos you're adopted."

0:18:11 > 0:18:15So, can you give me a clue about why you're in the news?

0:18:15 > 0:18:18Erm... Well, what I do involves ropes.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20- Involves ropes?- Yes.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22Do you, er, do you whip kids?

0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Until they give you toys?- No!- No.

0:18:26 > 0:18:31- I actually get whipped, though, sometimes.- You get whipped?- Yes.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37- Will I be whipping you later?- No.

0:18:37 > 0:18:40- You might actually, maybe, we'll see.- Oh, right!

0:18:41 > 0:18:45Back in the game! Right, OK,

0:18:45 > 0:18:46so I may be whipping you later.

0:18:46 > 0:18:50I'm not really fussed about the mystery guest, let's just do that.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Who are you? I don't know.

0:18:53 > 0:18:57Give me another clue, I'm nowhere near this.

0:18:57 > 0:19:01Equipment that I use can be used in the school playground as well.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04OK, do you work out using kids' equipment?

0:19:04 > 0:19:08- I guess you could say that. - Are you a skipping champion?

0:19:08 > 0:19:12- I'm the UK number one, yes.- The UK number-one skipper, there you go.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:19:15 > 0:19:17But it's like... Why?

0:19:17 > 0:19:19"Sausage in a pan, sausage in a pan,

0:19:19 > 0:19:22"turn them over, turn 'em over." What's that got to do with skipping?

0:19:22 > 0:19:26That is a massive fucking curve ball, how I am going to get that?

0:19:26 > 0:19:30Everything about this suggests kids and there's two ropes here,

0:19:30 > 0:19:33hanging down like spiders' dicks and yet...

0:19:33 > 0:19:37Of course I didn't guess it. Anyway, nice to meet you.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Excellent, are we going to do some skipping? Let's do that.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44Do you want to see us skip? That'd be lovely.

0:19:47 > 0:19:51- OK, we're going to move the set off. - Absolutely, which way is it going?

0:19:51 > 0:19:55- Right, then.- Here's your rope.- Yep.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58First of all, though, I'm going to show you what I do.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00So you're going to have to stand way out the way.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03- Absolutely. - So you don't get whipped.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:20:06 > 0:20:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:11 > 0:20:13Oh, nice, that's good. Uh. Uh.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:23 > 0:20:27That was fantastic, well done.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32And now, to make a fool out of myself...

0:20:32 > 0:20:35- I'm going to teach you tricks. - Lovely, look forward to it.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37- Do you want a quick go on your own first?- No.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40- Have you ever done skipping before? - Yeah.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43- Have you? - Yeah. I know what I'm doing.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:47 > 0:20:50OK, so, first trick, you ready?

0:20:50 > 0:20:53It's called speed step. You're going to hop from one foot to the other,

0:20:53 > 0:20:56ensuring the rope goes round. So you're hopping like this.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Let's get out the way first.

0:20:58 > 0:21:00So, hop...

0:21:03 > 0:21:05Nearly. Yeah, that was it!

0:21:05 > 0:21:08- You just speed up the rope... - Speed up the rope, right.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10There you go!

0:21:10 > 0:21:13But at the moment you've kind of got an Irish fling going on.

0:21:13 > 0:21:17- Try and bring your knees up, you'll be fine.- OK.

0:21:17 > 0:21:18We're going to do a side-straddle.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21- All you're going to do is bring your feet apart, together.- OK.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24So it goes out, together, out, together.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39- All right. Are you ready for the next one? - It's really tiring, isn't it?

0:21:39 > 0:21:42- The next one isn't jumping, you'll be fine.- It's not skipping, then.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44So...

0:21:44 > 0:21:45What are we going to do?

0:21:45 > 0:21:48Rope goes straight out in front of you.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50OK, and all you're going to do...

0:21:50 > 0:21:53is you're going to flick it and catch it.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01I'm going to bring on two of my team members...

0:22:01 > 0:22:03- Sweet!- ..and we're going to do a double-Dutch.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- This is Beci and Gemma. - Hello, Beci and Gemma.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:29 > 0:22:30Your turn.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34Are you ready?

0:22:34 > 0:22:35You know in, like, action films,

0:22:35 > 0:22:38where there's one who's really good who gets the gold

0:22:38 > 0:22:40and saves the day, there's always one that dies.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45"He lost his head!" So what have I got to do, run into this,

0:22:45 > 0:22:48- take the rope to the face, essentially.- Actually...

0:22:48 > 0:22:52we're going to go from basics with you, so what we do with little kids.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54You're going to stand in the middle.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57You're going to hold my hands and jump at the same time as me.

0:22:57 > 0:23:01- Don't look too scared, OK?- My mum told me never to talk to strangers,

0:23:01 > 0:23:03let alone get involved in some sort of rope fight.

0:23:03 > 0:23:07- So we'll start jumping, ready?- Yep. - And jump. Jump. Jump.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10That's it, keep going.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17- Turn around.- Stop it!

0:23:17 > 0:23:21CHEERING

0:23:30 > 0:23:33- And jump!- Fuck!

0:23:33 > 0:23:35CHEERING

0:23:35 > 0:23:37That was horrendous.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40Thank you so much. Nice to meet you.

0:23:40 > 0:23:44Nice to meet you. Well, that was absolutely fucking terrifying!

0:23:44 > 0:23:47Thank you so much, that was lovely. Ladies and gentlemen,

0:23:47 > 0:23:49please give it up for my mystery guest.

0:23:49 > 0:23:51That was great, well done.

0:23:56 > 0:24:00Have you seen the latest food craze taking the US by storm?

0:24:00 > 0:24:03It's called the cinnamon challenge.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05The challenge works like this.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08A person is supposed to swallow a tablespoon of ground cinnamon

0:24:08 > 0:24:11in 60 seconds without drinking anything.

0:24:11 > 0:24:14The results usually look like this.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16LAUGHTER

0:24:18 > 0:24:21AUDIENCE: Do it! Come on!

0:24:21 > 0:24:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:27 > 0:24:30I don't recommend that you do this at home.

0:24:31 > 0:24:35But I do recommend that you all watch this.

0:24:35 > 0:24:39So here's the cinnamon. All right? All right, here goes.

0:24:51 > 0:24:53SHE SCREAMS AND COUGHS

0:25:34 > 0:25:38Here's a wonderful story about a little boy called Joe and his heart.

0:25:38 > 0:25:41I met a remarkable young boy the other day.

0:25:41 > 0:25:44Joe Skerratt looks like any other three-year-old,

0:25:44 > 0:25:47heading for his favourite ride in the local park.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49But Joe was born with a rare disease

0:25:49 > 0:25:52which meant his heart was abnormally large.

0:25:52 > 0:25:56Now, after a heart transplant, he's improving every day.

0:25:56 > 0:26:00This is the Berlin artificial heart that kept Joe alive

0:26:00 > 0:26:03while he was on the waiting list for a transplant.

0:26:03 > 0:26:07He had two of these, one pumping blood through his body,

0:26:07 > 0:26:09the other through his lungs.

0:26:09 > 0:26:13And they kept him going, beating once a second

0:26:13 > 0:26:16for 251 long days.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21'His parents Mark and Rachel know a donor family somewhere

0:26:21 > 0:26:22'has saved Joe's life.'

0:26:22 > 0:26:25You have no idea how you changed our lives.

0:26:25 > 0:26:31And we can't comprehend your grief and what you've been through,

0:26:31 > 0:26:34but it was an amazingly selfless decision,

0:26:34 > 0:26:37and you've done amazing things for our little boy. Thank you.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Munching on a block of cheddar, Joe told me

0:26:42 > 0:26:46he knows he's now got a new heart and it's just the right size.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00Lovely, isn't it?

0:27:00 > 0:27:04Thank you. Thank you very much for watching Good News.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06Good night, my friends. Good night.

0:27:11 > 0:27:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd