0:00:03 > 0:00:04Coming up...
0:00:04 > 0:00:07A thief has trouble with his fence.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10Ow, my balls!
0:00:10 > 0:00:12A roadside rammy delivers a shock.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16How dare you!
0:00:16 > 0:00:19And a volunteer officer pounds a new beat.
0:00:19 > 0:00:24You cannae arrest me.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Just another big shift for the men and women
0:00:26 > 0:00:29of the Scottish Police Force.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30Don't go relaxing.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31We're on you.
0:00:31 > 0:00:39This is Scot Squad.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49As the world moves online, no-one is safe from cyber crime.
0:00:49 > 0:00:54Not even the Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Police Force.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Cameron Miekelson is hacked off at being hacked into.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Oh, no, I tell you.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03The week I've had.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05The whole system, the computer system, IT collapsed.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Yeah.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Some hacker or rogue state, as we now think, targeted the
0:01:12 > 0:01:16system, got in there, hacked in.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19The next thing I know, all my e-mails being released to the press.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20You know.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Just...
0:01:21 > 0:01:23It's North Korea.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24It is definitely North...
0:01:24 > 0:01:27I said last week when there was a protest in Glasgow,
0:01:27 > 0:01:28of course they can protest.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32We don't round them up and put them in camps, much as we would like to.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33It's not North Korea.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34I am not Kim Jong-un.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Soon as I said it, alarm bells were ringing.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40I get into work the next morning, the whole screen gobbledygook.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43These e-mails, they're private.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45This is banter.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47You know, it's not public policy.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Just because I'm talking to my colleague Sandy...
0:01:49 > 0:01:52..BLEEP,
0:01:52 > 0:01:55the English police.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57We're having a laugh.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00That is not what I actually think.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Look at that wee photo.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05So I photoshopped Alex Salmond's head onto Jabba the Hutt.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Alex would be fine with that.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I play golf with the boy.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11I copied him in!
0:02:11 > 0:02:14He is fine with it but it's all over the press.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19I don't know what we are going to do.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Scotland's streets, where the tinies prank can lead to
0:02:22 > 0:02:24the majorist dust-up.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26And where careless motorists find themselves on a collision course
0:02:26 > 0:02:31with traffic cops Singh and McKirdy.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Aye-aye.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34A minor collision.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36I will double check and see it's all right.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Sometimes it's the little incidents that become the most memorable.
0:02:40 > 0:02:46We were driving along this morning and we came across a minor RTC.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49It turned out to be one of the best moments of my life.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51How is it not your fault?
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Because you were coming from nowhere and I thought you were waving me on.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57A young chap, James, car from a side street pulled out and
0:02:57 > 0:03:00banged into the side of him and...
0:03:00 > 0:03:03It was Michelle McManus's motor.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04Is it you?
0:03:04 > 0:03:07It's Michelle McManus.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10I've no idea who Michelle McManus is.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Are you all right?
0:03:11 > 0:03:12I'm fine.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15This clown is trying to blame me for this accident.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17There is no way it's my fault.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18You came up a side road.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Calm down just now.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20What happened?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Honestly, this joker is at it.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23It was totally not my fault.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27In this job, you expect to deal with the public but you never
0:03:27 > 0:03:29think you would deal with Pop Idol winner 2003, Michelle McManus.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Number one hit with All This Time.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Do you two know each other, are you friends?
0:03:33 > 0:03:34It is Michelle McManus.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35She was on Pop Idol.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36What's Pop Idol?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Oh, my God.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Are you kidding me on?
0:03:39 > 0:03:40Pop Idol!
0:03:40 > 0:03:41It was the original...
0:03:41 > 0:03:43The original X Factor before all the X Factor stuff.
0:03:43 > 0:03:44Pop Idol.
0:03:44 > 0:03:45It was brilliant.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47She won it.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48I did.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Apparently she is some sort of celebrity.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51The first one was Will Young which was 2002.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53I was 2003.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54BOTH:
0:03:54 > 0:04:01# All this time # We've come a long, long way # I've waited a lifetime...
0:04:01 > 0:04:03# You know the words!
0:04:03 > 0:04:04I know all the words.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Do you go to Pop Idol reunions?
0:04:06 > 0:04:08McKirdy.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09You are on duty here, OK?
0:04:09 > 0:04:10Aye, sorry.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Professional.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Can I take your name, please?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Yeah, sorry.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16It is Michelle McManus.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18M-C-M-A-N...
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Mc or Mac?
0:04:21 > 0:04:22M-C is right.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24M-C-M-A-N-U-S.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26How is everything else?
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Any concerts lined up?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I have such a big gig coming up.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31You were on The Hour as well.
0:04:31 > 0:04:31That's right.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32I know.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34It was ITV.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37I wonder if there's any chance of a wee selfie?
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Lovely.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39Amazing.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Let's sort this out first.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Hey, you, buster...
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Obviously it being Michelle McManus, that did not in any way influence
0:04:46 > 0:04:47how I policed today.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48I know what's happened.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50You've seen it's Michelle McManus, you've been startled,
0:04:50 > 0:04:54with her or something like that.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56I have no idea who she is!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58She is just a woman who drove into my car.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00How dare you!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Calm yourself.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04How dare you!
0:05:04 > 0:05:05We have had a discussion.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Sorry, your name again?
0:05:07 > 0:05:08Michelle.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10There's not huge damage done.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12It is a civil matter.
0:05:12 > 0:05:13We won't get involved.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15I won't write you up a ticket.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18If you exchange insurance details with James we can get this sorted.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Sorry, what was your name again?
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Michelle.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24I carried out my policing this morning by the book.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27How I would if I turned up to any other road traffic collision.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Look at me!
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Ha-ha.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32McKirdy!
0:05:32 > 0:05:34There you go.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36You suit that.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Cheers, thanks very much.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39You do suit that.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40McKirdy.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42You're still on duty.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43Put your hat on.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Thanks very much.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46That's tight!
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Watch your hands.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49See you later, Michelle.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Mum!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Guess who I got my picture with.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54Michelle McManus.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Got an update on the North Korea situation,
0:05:56 > 0:05:58turns out it wasn't North Korea.
0:05:58 > 0:05:58Um...
0:05:58 > 0:06:00It was a wee lassie called Karen.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Daughter of a woman I had been dating.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05I didn't return the mother's calls, lassie takes revenge on me so...
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Embarrassment all round.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10But I think...
0:06:10 > 0:06:11It justifies my position with the woman.
0:06:11 > 0:06:17She's clearly not brought up her child correctly.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Criminals are always on the run.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22When a lawbreaker gives it legs, PCs Jack McLaren and Sarah Fletcher
0:06:22 > 0:06:23have a sure-fire method of catching the crook.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Give it even more legs.
0:06:26 > 0:06:31I'm very, very fast.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35In a lot of situations I am faster than a car.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38I don't know if I'm faster than a car because I've not been allowed
0:06:38 > 0:06:41to chase anyone.
0:06:41 > 0:06:48I don't think you are but that's teamwork, isn't it?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50All right, Officer?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Who are you running from, pal?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Just looking for my dug, mate.
0:06:54 > 0:06:55Aye?
0:06:55 > 0:06:58That your dug you dropped in a bag back there, is it?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00What are you talking about, my bag?
0:07:00 > 0:07:01You will be finding out.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05I caught him and Sarah went around the other side of the park
0:07:05 > 0:07:07in a pincer movement in the car.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Jack, what have you done?
0:07:09 > 0:07:10He has put himself behind bars.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Oh, dear.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15He dropped a bag so I will go and look for it.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17It is just a packed lunch, mate.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18There's nothing in it, mate.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Honestly.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21What is your name, pal?
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Logan.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Simpson.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25Logan.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26Go.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Argh!
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Ow!
0:07:29 > 0:07:32My balls!
0:07:32 > 0:07:33OK.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Don't shout that in the park.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37We'll wait for Jack, right?
0:07:37 > 0:07:38Aye.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Do you want me to do...
0:07:40 > 0:07:45Would you?
0:07:45 > 0:07:48I could take the weight off you.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49That would be great, if you don't mind.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50Oh!
0:07:50 > 0:07:51OH!
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Oh...
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Thanks very much.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54Oh.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57What did you get up to last night or...?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59What did I get up to last night?
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Yeah.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Just watching some, some film on one of the channels.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Last night I just put the telly on to watch one of the
0:08:06 > 0:08:09like baking programmes.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Oh, aye?
0:08:10 > 0:08:11Yeah.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13There's lots of those things on now.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14I do a bit of amateur baking.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Really?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Yeah.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20I've got some of my cakes with me today if you wanted to...
0:08:20 > 0:08:20Have you?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Jack won't try them, so...
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Listen, I'd love to get my teeth into your...cakes.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27My cakes, yeah.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28That would be...
0:08:28 > 0:08:30I will try them.
0:08:30 > 0:08:36Oh.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Mm...
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Hm!
0:08:40 > 0:08:42That's a big bit.
0:08:42 > 0:08:52'While Fletcher feeds his cakehole, this perp is staying put.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54'Meanwhile, volunteer officer Ken Beattie feels
0:08:54 > 0:08:57'the rhythm of the city street and steps in to assist 'a cash-strapped
0:08:57 > 0:09:02busker and avert a drummer drama.'
0:09:02 > 0:09:05In this line of work, you never know what's going to happen and today,
0:09:05 > 0:09:10a rather attractive young lady was playing the drums rather well.
0:09:10 > 0:09:17All right?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Very good.
0:09:19 > 0:09:19Are you enjoying that?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Quite loud but...
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Listen, I'm bursting for the toilet.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25Oh, dear me!
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Sorry.
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Would you watch this for a bit?
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Yeah.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Of course I will.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32I'll be dead, dead quick.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Right.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39I was more than happy to step in and fill the breach, just to watch
0:09:39 > 0:09:42her stuff but then things took a slightly strange turn and...
0:09:42 > 0:09:46Oh, no, no.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49I'm just guarding the drum kit and money.
0:09:49 > 0:09:55Oh, no, no.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56You can't put money.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Don't do that.
0:09:58 > 0:10:06Give us a song.
0:10:06 > 0:10:11I was more than happy to do my duty.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15I didn't think my duty involved playing drums.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17# Blood on your face, you big disgrace # Kicking your...
0:10:17 > 0:10:24all over the place # Singing we will, we will rock you!
0:10:30 > 0:10:32# Never...forget
0:10:32 > 0:10:36where you're coming from # Never...
0:10:36 > 0:10:40# Pretend that it's all real.
0:10:40 > 0:10:46# Never ever do that to me again!
0:10:46 > 0:10:48OK?
0:10:48 > 0:10:49Sorry.
0:10:49 > 0:10:54I hope you washed your hands, young lady.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Probably one of the most embarrassing experiences
0:10:56 > 0:11:06of my life, since...
0:11:07 > 0:11:08The
0:11:08 > 0:11:08The log
0:11:08 > 0:11:08The log flume
0:11:08 > 0:11:12The log flume incident.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14The first thing to say about freedom of information is that
0:11:14 > 0:11:16it's not technically free.
0:11:16 > 0:11:17It actually costs us.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19I think it is roughly ?5.75 per request.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21So we have to decide how free is the information and which
0:11:21 > 0:11:23information should be freest...as
0:11:23 > 0:11:23it were.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Obviously, we want to release the figures for car crime in Midlothian
0:11:26 > 0:11:29but do we release figures for how many taxis I take home per week?
0:11:29 > 0:11:31You know?
0:11:31 > 0:11:32I think it was George Orwell that said,
0:11:32 > 0:11:36"Freedom is the right to tell people what they don't want to hear."
0:11:36 > 0:11:40And I don't think the people want to hear how many taxis I take a week.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Then again, you know, Bob Dylan, he said, "No-one's free.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Even the birds are chained to the sky."
0:11:48 > 0:11:51So, you've got a number of opinions.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54The only one we are pretty sure shouldn't hold is, "I'm free, free
0:11:54 > 0:11:56to do what I want, any old time."
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Well, let me tell the Soup Dragons, you're not.
0:11:59 > 0:12:04OK?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07'For the people of Scotland, 'Maggie LeBeau is a calm
0:12:07 > 0:12:08and reassuring voice.'
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Police emergency.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12How can I be of assistance?
0:12:12 > 0:12:17How much of the Japanese plum wine had he drank before that happened?
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Maggie rolls back the stone on an Aladdin's cave of gratitude.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Just follow me in here.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26This here is the thank you room and that's where we put all
0:12:26 > 0:12:30the gifts that people give us to say thank you for helping them out
0:12:30 > 0:12:31in their hour of need.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Now, we can't accept gifts so what we do is we auction all
0:12:34 > 0:12:37of these off and the proceeds actually go to a charity which
0:12:37 > 0:12:42helps rehabilitate ex-offenders.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Which is slightly ironic, I guess, because the person who committed
0:12:45 > 0:12:48the crime I dealt with on the phone might be the person who
0:12:48 > 0:12:52benefits from this teddy.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55But that's fine.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58It's the thought that counts.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01'From plenty of presents 'to presently proceeding
0:13:01 > 0:13:04presentatio to the prosecutor, 'as Jack presents the perp 'with proof
0:13:04 > 0:13:11of his unprincipled profession.'
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Thanks for sticking around.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I found your bag.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Aye.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Are you sure that's my bag?
0:13:16 > 0:13:17That's definitely the bag you dropped.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Nine mobile phones?
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Aye...
0:13:19 > 0:13:20Nine mobile phones.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22So what, have you got nine girlfriends?
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Unlikely.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Have you got nine girlfriends?
0:13:25 > 0:13:26Scottish Jack Bauer.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Unlikely.
0:13:27 > 0:13:36A terrorist?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Unlikely.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40I'm not a terrorist.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41You stole them.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42I never stole them, lads.
0:13:42 > 0:13:42Logan!
0:13:42 > 0:13:43What?
0:13:43 > 0:13:43Really?
0:13:43 > 0:13:44We'll get the Fire Brigade.
0:13:44 > 0:13:44Wait.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45My feet here.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46You should try that lassie's cakes.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Too much sugar.
0:13:47 > 0:13:48They're magic.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51We could take the cream off...
0:13:51 > 0:13:52A-ha.
0:13:52 > 0:13:53..and
0:13:53 > 0:13:54lubricate him.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55Lube him up?
0:13:55 > 0:13:58And push him out.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00I never thought I'd see the day at work.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02We were going to call the Fire Brigade but then that's
0:14:02 > 0:14:05a waste of an emergency service when we could just use
0:14:05 > 0:14:06our partnership, our teamwork...
0:14:06 > 0:14:06Yeah.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07..which
0:14:07 > 0:14:08luckily we had some lube.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09Just get it right in there.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10That's it.
0:14:10 > 0:14:10Oh, oh!
0:14:10 > 0:14:10Quick!
0:14:10 > 0:14:18Come on!
0:14:18 > 0:14:19THEY PANT.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20You pull!
0:14:20 > 0:14:20Ow!
0:14:20 > 0:14:21My feet.
0:14:21 > 0:14:21Watch his face, Jack!
0:14:21 > 0:14:22I'm coming.
0:14:22 > 0:14:22I'm coming!
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Argh!
0:14:23 > 0:14:23Jesus.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:14:25 > 0:14:26Careful, Jack!
0:14:26 > 0:14:28That was good fingering.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29That was good police work.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Ah!
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Listen, those cakes were amazing.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32You really liked them?
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Honestly.
0:14:33 > 0:14:43Move it.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Maybe you could bake me one with a wee file in it?
0:14:49 > 0:14:51'Thanks to the partnership of police officers McLaren and Fletcher,
0:14:51 > 0:14:54'the trapped man is now finally free to go straight to jail.'
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Meanwhile, the chief gets set to salute have-a-go heroism.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00I'm just about to meet a member of the public, a hero.
0:15:00 > 0:15:05Erm...apparently,
0:15:05 > 0:15:08he's been given some award for some act of bravery or other.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11He did something that stopped a crime being committed.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Technically, that's our job, but we're happy for you all to join
0:15:13 > 0:15:16in if you want to, you know?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18We just won't be sharing the credit.
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Oh, we will be!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I'm off now to share the credit with this boy.
0:15:21 > 0:15:22OK, lovely.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Erm...
0:15:27 > 0:15:30we're here to meet a hero today and...
0:15:30 > 0:15:31Oh, hello.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Sorry, didn't...
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Hi.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34Er...
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Hello.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Sorry, no-one had told me that you were a...
0:15:40 > 0:15:41No-one had warned me...
0:15:41 > 0:15:42Not warned.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Told.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45No-one had told me that you were...
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Listen, we're having a...
0:15:48 > 0:15:49Don't send e-mail.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50Oh, sorry.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52COMPUTERISED VOICE:
0:15:52 > 0:15:53Yes, I am disabled.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Right.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Yes.
0:15:56 > 0:16:04So you're going to speak through this?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06That's usually how it works.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07OK.
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Good.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Well, that's going to be fine.
0:16:10 > 0:16:10So this is...
0:16:10 > 0:16:16Kyle.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19This is Kyle.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Erm...Kyle,
0:16:20 > 0:16:24perhaps you could take us through the events of the day that led you
0:16:24 > 0:16:29to being one of our heroes, one of our local heroes.
0:16:29 > 0:16:34I didn't really do anything, really.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38I just tripped up a mugger when I was taking an epileptic fit.
0:16:38 > 0:16:43Anyone would do the same.
0:16:43 > 0:16:43I see.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46So it wasn't really...
0:16:46 > 0:16:48deliberate?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50I got mistaken for an automated machine when I called
0:16:50 > 0:17:00the police, so that's something you have to speak to your staff about.
0:17:01 > 0:17:07HE CHUCKLES
0:17:07 > 0:17:08I think...Kyle
0:17:08 > 0:17:10is having a little bit of banter there.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12That is very, very amusing.
0:17:12 > 0:17:13FEMALE COMPUTERISED VOICE:
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Would you feel more comfortable if I used this voice?
0:17:15 > 0:17:16You seem very awkward indeed.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Oh, no...
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I didn't realise you could become somebody else.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21I didn't...
0:17:21 > 0:17:23That's very clever or is that the real you?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Maybe it should just be a multiple-choice from now on.
0:17:26 > 0:17:32Are you proud?
0:17:32 > 0:17:34BLEEP.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Yes.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37I'm proud, OK?
0:17:37 > 0:17:40OK, well, listen, there's no need to swear, mate, you know?
0:17:40 > 0:17:41You've caught one criminal.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43You know how many I've caught?
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Don't be the big I am.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47You started it by being an ignorant bastard.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Well, there's absolutely no reason to talk like that.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53If you'd like to not report that.
0:17:53 > 0:17:58I've got a medal for you, for your bravery and having your fit at
0:17:58 > 0:18:01exactly the time you had your fit.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02There we go.
0:18:02 > 0:18:07Ladies and gentlemen, Kyle...
0:18:07 > 0:18:08You didn't give us your surname.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Don't worry about your surname.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12If you need Kyle's surname, then...
0:18:12 > 0:18:15It's BLEEP Indersin.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17My surname is Indersin.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Sorry, I didn't quite...
0:18:19 > 0:18:21I got the BLEEP part.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Oh, Anderson!
0:18:23 > 0:18:30Kyle Anderson, thank you.
0:18:30 > 0:18:31APPLAUSE.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33A hero.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35The Scot Squad perform heroics 24/7, serving Scotland all day long,
0:18:35 > 0:18:39which for Sergeant Karen Ann Millar means starting another shift
0:18:39 > 0:18:43in the station.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46So, Mr Stewart, you were saying that they've been out on the street.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Took her down the Turkish place?
0:18:50 > 0:18:52I did, aye.
0:18:52 > 0:19:02If you unplug it and stick it back in.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17SHE STAMMERS
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I've been behind here for four hours.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20What...
0:19:20 > 0:19:21What were...
0:19:21 > 0:19:31W-W-Who...
0:19:31 > 0:19:32Homicide is a crime.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Regicide is a crime.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Countryside is not a crime.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41But if it was, it would be solved by the men and
0:19:41 > 0:19:44women of the Scottish Police Force.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Hi, Mrs Smith?
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Yes.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49'We got called out to a woman's house.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51She'd been broken into.'
0:19:51 > 0:19:52Lovely woman.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54She was really nice.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Lovely house.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Charlie wasn't in the best form.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Actually, sorry to interrupt, but could I just nip to your
0:20:02 > 0:20:04bathroom for a second before we...?
0:20:04 > 0:20:05Of course you can.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Straight ahead of you.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Just straight ahead.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09I'll just be a second.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10That's OK, no problem.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14Sorry, he had a bit of a dodgy curry last night.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17I make a mean home-made jalfrezi.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21I'd maybe just been overzealous with chillies.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Charlie, do you want me to go ahead and...
0:20:23 > 0:20:26No, no, that's fine.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28I'll take it from here.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Uh-huh.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Mrs Smith.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Yes.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36What time did you get back from work, would you say?
0:20:36 > 0:20:38I came back my normal time.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41I've got a routine and I was back about half past four.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42OK.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Right.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45And...it's
0:20:45 > 0:20:46good to have routine.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Yes.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Erm...when
0:20:49 > 0:20:55did you first notice that something was missing?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57on, which is never on.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58I always turn it off.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Turn it off.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03I was a wee bit embarrassed and I had to remove the woman
0:21:03 > 0:21:05from the hall to proceed with the investigation
0:21:05 > 0:21:07in order to save your blushes.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Yeah.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11And mine.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14So you didn't see any sign of a break-in at the front door or...?
0:21:14 > 0:21:15The front door was all locked.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18But that's what partnerships are for, you know?
0:21:18 > 0:21:21If one of you needs to go off and do something, you can rely on
0:21:21 > 0:21:25the other person to help you out.
0:21:25 > 0:21:26Yeah.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28And these stay locked all the time?
0:21:28 > 0:21:31They're always locked.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32I'm really careful with that.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33Okey doke.
0:21:33 > 0:21:33Charlie?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Yeah.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38We've just had a look in the living room
0:21:38 > 0:21:41and I don't think there's any way they could've got in through there.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44I think the best idea would be if you could show me up the stairs
0:21:44 > 0:21:46and we'll see if there's any...
0:21:46 > 0:21:47Yeah.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Come up and I'll show you where everything is up there.
0:21:49 > 0:21:50Bingo!
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Yep, had some success in here.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57Yeah, tell me, is your window always locked?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I lock them every day I go out.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00It wasn't open, was it?
0:22:00 > 0:22:01It's just open a little.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04I just opened it a little smidge as I was conducting a search,
0:22:04 > 0:22:07and I've noticed it looks like it's been jimmied open.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Just some markings around the lock and there's actually
0:22:09 > 0:22:10a footprint on the sill.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12So I think we've found our point of origin.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13Maybe I should go and...
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Yeah, it's really clear, actually.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19So have a wee...
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Just leave it ten minutes.
0:22:21 > 0:22:2210, 15 minutes.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23Cup of tea, maybe?
0:22:23 > 0:22:24A cup of tea would be great.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Come in, Officer.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Any lemon and ginger?
0:22:26 > 0:22:27Yeah, absolutely.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28That crook's footprint above the sin is
0:22:28 > 0:22:30their first step towards the clink.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32And all over the force, devotion to duty deserves due recognition.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34PHONE RINGING Hello, Jean.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Who is it?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37The Palace?
0:22:37 > 0:22:39I haven't ordered a takeaway.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41THE Palace?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Yes, put them through.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Really?
0:22:46 > 0:22:50In the actual...
0:22:50 > 0:22:52New Year's Honours list?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54I'd be honoured to have an honour.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Thank...Her
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Majesty for me.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04I'm very excited and proud, yes.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06I still don't know what the honour is.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08I mean, it's not...you
0:23:08 > 0:23:10know...
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Dreaming of a knighthood, but it's not going to be the knighthood.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15You don't start at the knighthood, you know?
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Between you and me, I'm thinking it's OBE.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20It can't be MBE.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23I'm not going to be in with the lollipop ladies and the,
0:23:23 > 0:23:23"Oh, you're a janitor.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Well done."
0:23:25 > 0:23:26"What have you done?
0:23:26 > 0:23:27Hello.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29"Formed an under-11s football team in your community?"
0:23:29 > 0:23:33When you look back at the people who have been honoured
0:23:33 > 0:23:36before you, you know, the Beatles.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38John Lennon, I mean, famously gave his back.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41I would never give mine back.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44I think that's disrespectful.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47I think them having a joint in the Palace was disrespectful too,
0:23:47 > 0:23:48while we're about it.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51It wouldn't have happened if I'd have been there, I tell you.
0:23:51 > 0:23:52Beatle or no Beatle.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53Out on your arse.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55I don't mind telling you, I am quite nervous.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58I'm more nervous than when I met Kenny Dalglish, but I'm
0:23:58 > 0:23:59less nervous than when I met Lulu.
0:23:59 > 0:24:04From anticipation to obliteration.
0:24:04 > 0:24:10McKirdy and Singh check out the baddest of bashed up bangers.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12We are in the wrecker's yard.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15This is where cars come that have been involved in accidents.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Each car here has a story.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Isn't that right?
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Some people drive around cars and it's in a terrible nick.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22It's in a condition that certainly isn't drivable.
0:24:22 > 0:24:23For example, a car here.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Now, this guy was just absolutely chancing it.
0:24:25 > 0:24:26Come over here.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28I mean, look.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30He's got weeds growing in from the wheels.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31Put your zoom in there.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33You can see here the scratches, the dents.
0:24:33 > 0:24:34He was jumping about in that.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36The hubcap's all rusted and all.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37And it's not that.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40There's folk and pedestrians that can walk by and get their shirt tail
0:24:40 > 0:24:43dragged into that and get caught and there's an injury there.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44Tetanus.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Get a scratch and...
0:24:45 > 0:24:48You can get tetanus off a car.
0:24:48 > 0:24:49It's disgraceful.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51This van here is the consequence of drink-driving.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Now, well, when I say drink-driving, the driver didn't actually make it
0:24:54 > 0:24:55to the motor.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57He was drunk, staggered, tripped, and his head went through
0:24:57 > 0:24:58the window.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01But this again, it just shows you the dangers of drink-driving.
0:25:01 > 0:25:01Don't do it.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Before driving, during or after.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Well, you can drink after you've driven, but don't get
0:25:07 > 0:25:08back in the car again.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11It would be wonderful if every single driver could see this place,
0:25:11 > 0:25:15because it would teach them a lesson to drive safely, to keep their car
0:25:15 > 0:25:17in the garage and not the graveyard.
0:25:17 > 0:25:26Here, Officer Karen, I was wondering if you could help me.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28OK, what's up?
0:25:28 > 0:25:31I've been summoned to jury duty and stuff, but I never even done
0:25:31 > 0:25:33anything or nothing, right?
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Oh, it just means you're going to go and sit on the jury, it doesn't mean
0:25:37 > 0:25:38they think you've done anything.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Don't worry about it.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41You're fine.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Aye, but I don't want to do it.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46The thing is, you'll see there, see how it says,
0:25:46 > 0:25:49"It is an offence that is punishable with a fine of up to ?1,000,"
0:25:49 > 0:25:51if you try and avoid jury service.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Like, see the date.
0:25:53 > 0:25:54It says it's on Monday.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57WrestleMania's on, and it's on at four in the morning, and then
0:25:57 > 0:25:59that's at half nine in the morning.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01So if I watched WrestleMania I'm not...
0:26:01 > 0:26:02I'm...
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Five, six, seven, eight.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07I'm only going to get five hours' sleep.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Unfortunately, I'm fairly sure WrestleMania is not
0:26:09 > 0:26:13one of the things that disqualifies you from jury service.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17You know, you have to kind of balance it up.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19WrestleMania is good, but is it ?1,000 worth of good?
0:26:19 > 0:26:20So what would make me ineligible...
0:26:20 > 0:26:22In-en-ergible...?
0:26:22 > 0:26:23Ineligible?
0:26:23 > 0:26:33Well, there's a whole...
0:26:34 > 0:26:35There's a whole...whole
0:26:35 > 0:26:36assortment.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37So you're not on bail, are you?
0:26:37 > 0:26:38No.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41You've not been sentenced to anything in the last five years?
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Five years?
0:26:42 > 0:26:43Mmm-hmm.
0:26:43 > 0:26:44No.
0:26:44 > 0:26:44OK.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Are you a member of the House of Lords?
0:26:46 > 0:26:47I don't think so.
0:26:47 > 0:26:47OK.
0:26:47 > 0:26:48Uncle Jeffy might be.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51You're not in the Navy or the Women's Royal
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Naval Service, Queen Alexandra's Royal Naval Nursing Service or any
0:26:53 > 0:26:55voluntary aid detachment serving with the Royal Navy?
0:26:55 > 0:26:56No, I don't like water.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57I'm scared.
0:26:57 > 0:26:58OK.
0:26:58 > 0:26:59Grounds of ill health or physical disability?
0:26:59 > 0:27:00Physically fit.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01You're physically fit.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Fit as a fiddle.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04You are probably eligible, Bobby.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07So I think you are probably going to have to go and do it.
0:27:07 > 0:27:08OK.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09OK?
0:27:09 > 0:27:12So you just need to put your status and then you just need
0:27:12 > 0:27:13to pop a wee signature on it.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14So, status.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17The guy is...guilty.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19OK.
0:27:19 > 0:27:25Do you understand how jury service works, Bobby?
0:27:25 > 0:27:28I say the guy's guilty, because then why would he be
0:27:28 > 0:27:31in court if he wasn't guilty?
0:27:31 > 0:27:34We should maybe have another wee look at it.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Do you think you'll be able to sit and objectively listen to
0:27:37 > 0:27:39all this evidence and decide?
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Yep, I'll sit and I'll listen and I won't cause any trouble.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44See if the lawyer says anything, I'll just be like that.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46"You're doing a brilliant job, mate."
0:27:46 > 0:27:47That's what it's all about.
0:27:47 > 0:27:48Sign me up, then.
0:27:48 > 0:27:49I'm up for it.
0:27:49 > 0:27:50Right, OK.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Thanks, Officer Karen.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Thanks for your help and I'll see you next time, right?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56And I'll tell you how the guy gets on.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Or the girl, who knows?
0:27:58 > 0:27:59But I'm voting for guilty anyway.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00Right, see you later, Officer Karen.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02I'll talk to you soon.
0:28:02 > 0:28:03Right?
0:28:03 > 0:28:03Thanks a lot.
0:28:03 > 0:28:04See you later.
0:28:04 > 0:28:05See you later, Bobby.
0:28:05 > 0:28:06Mind the door.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09JBE it was in the end.
0:28:09 > 0:28:10Never even heard of it.
0:28:10 > 0:28:11Is it a Junior of the Br...?
0:28:11 > 0:28:12No idea.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14They don't issue many, apparently.
0:28:14 > 0:28:24The last guy to get one was Andi Peters.
0:28:24 > 0:28:25HE SIGHS.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27JBE.
0:28:27 > 0:28:28Jobbie, that's what the press will call it.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30They don't miss a trick, those boys.
0:28:30 > 0:28:31That's the headlines tomorrow.
0:28:31 > 0:28:32Oh, dearie me.
0:28:32 > 0:28:33Oh, well.
0:28:33 > 0:28:40It was a nice day out.