0:00:02 > 0:00:05Coming up... a driver in a panic.
0:00:05 > 0:00:06Can you step out of the vehicle, please?
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Don't know how to turn the thing off yet.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10A mother in a tizzy.
0:00:10 > 0:00:11What is it? What is it, what's wrong?
0:00:11 > 0:00:13It's my wee boy, he's fallen over. He can't get up.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15OK. Look at me. Look at me.
0:00:15 > 0:00:19And a VIP goes Triple X.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22- Hey! Roy!- I have looked all over the place for you.
0:00:22 > 0:00:27If crime is society's sickness, then the Scottish Police Force
0:00:27 > 0:00:31are the miracle cure, nailing villains with justice's hammer
0:00:31 > 0:00:34and locking the rogues in Her Majesty's slammer.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37My Uncle Jimmy's still in the jail because of you.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Aye, is that right, Daniel?
0:00:38 > 0:00:40You'll be in there before you know it an' all.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42This is...Scot Squad!
0:00:53 > 0:00:57When it comes to how Scotland perceives its police force,
0:00:57 > 0:01:00not even Chief Commissioner Cameron Miekelson can
0:01:00 > 0:01:06keep 100% of Scots happy, 100% of the time.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09You can't have a police force peopled entirely of officers
0:01:09 > 0:01:12who look like me, however attractive that might sound.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17The big man manfully mans up to his man-sized task.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19So, the crime figures are tumbling...
0:01:19 > 0:01:21- CHANTING:- Chief, Chief, Chief! Out, out, out!
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Chief, Chief, Chief! Out, out, out!
0:01:23 > 0:01:24I'm sorry. Can you still hear me? This is...
0:01:24 > 0:01:27They're not back, are they? Ah, here we go.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31I'm the target of the women's protest people.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34All because of an interview I gave to the press.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35You probably saw it.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Big headline, "There will never be a woman chief - not on my watch,"
0:01:39 > 0:01:41that's what they're saying I said.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45I did say it, but completely taken out of context.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49What I meant was, I'm the chief, you know?
0:01:49 > 0:01:52There can't be a woman chief on my watch,
0:01:52 > 0:01:55because I'm already the chief, the position is taken.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Now, back in the day, you know, it'd just be a wee placard
0:01:58 > 0:02:01and you could bang someone up because they smelled of grass.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04But, no, now, they all know their rights.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Which is a good thing, don't get me wrong.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07People should know their rights.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10It just makes our job a lot harder.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11I don't know.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13I mean, it's as Voltaire said,
0:02:13 > 0:02:16"I may not agree with what you're saying, but I will die
0:02:16 > 0:02:18"defending your right to say it,"
0:02:18 > 0:02:20but I would just prefer if you said it about
0:02:20 > 0:02:25ten miles out of town and you don't mind getting kettled, you know?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Once I'm dead, then you can have your women's chief.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32From the M9 to the B817,
0:02:32 > 0:02:36the Scottish Police Force ensures that Scotland's road users
0:02:36 > 0:02:40get from A to B without a trip to A&E.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Nice feet for a guy, actually.
0:02:41 > 0:02:46And that's the MO of PCs Hugh McKirdy and Surjit Singh.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49People try and pull all sorts of things to try
0:02:49 > 0:02:52and get out of getting points on their licence.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56We had a couple speeding down the street, so we pulled them over.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Wrong window, sir. The front one, please.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01- Thank you very much. - Officer?
0:03:01 > 0:03:05Almost immediately, I noticed that something was a little bit off.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- Can you step out of the vehicle? - CAR HORN BEEPS
0:03:07 > 0:03:09- Yeah, no problem. - ENGINE REVS
0:03:09 > 0:03:12New car, I don't know how to turn the thing off yet.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14- OK. Could you switch the engine off, please?- Yeah, sure.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15CAR HORN BEEPS
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Do you want to come over to the side? Thank you very much.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20I start questioning him, you know,
0:03:20 > 0:03:23he's a little bit wobbly, shall we say?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Yes. Are you feeling OK, sir?
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- Absolutely fine. - Are you sure?- Yes.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28You seem a little bit erratic there.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- How are you? - I'm good. I'm good.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34That's when I asked my colleague, PC Hugh McKirdy here,
0:03:34 > 0:03:36to bring out the breathalysers.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Just going to ask you to provide a specimen of breath.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- Just hold that for me a second. - No worries.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43No, no, that's not the breathalyser.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46- Oh, I think there's just a bit of dust in there.- Cheers. Thank you.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Just breathe in and go as fast as you can, OK?
0:03:49 > 0:03:51- Keep blowing.- Keep blowing, keep blowing, keep blowing.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- It seems to be...- Zero. - Then I'll be off.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55He takes the test, comes up negative,
0:03:55 > 0:03:57and something clicks in my mind.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- You know, I'm a smart wee cookie now and again.- Mm-hm.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01There's a sign down that road.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Could you just read that for me, please?
0:04:03 > 0:04:04Tanning shop.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- The other side, sir. Cool. - That one.- Yeah.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Train station.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14- What?- OK. I'm just going to have a chat with your...
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Is that your missus in there? - That's my wife, yeah.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Right, OK. I'll just have a chat with her.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21If I ask you a question, if I ask you what that sign says,
0:04:21 > 0:04:23and you look down that way, I know something's up.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26So, sir, I've just found this in your car.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- It's a white stick. That's yours? - That's my...
0:04:28 > 0:04:29- That's your missus's? - That's my wife's.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Sir, how many fingers am I actually holding up?
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- Eh, three. - I'm not holding up any.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Are you blind?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Eh...yeah.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44I can understand why he's obviously speeding up a wee bit
0:04:44 > 0:04:47when he's driving the motor. Can't read the signs.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49He wasn't driving, Hugh.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- What?- She was driving.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53But...
0:04:53 > 0:04:57His wife had been driving, but she had nine points on her licence.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01Any more, that's it, her licence gone.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04When we pulled them over, they switched seats.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Do me a favour, right? See this?
0:05:06 > 0:05:09This is the only reason I can get a bird like that, right?
0:05:09 > 0:05:12The blue badge. She loses the licence,
0:05:12 > 0:05:14she loses the badge, she loses her parking,
0:05:14 > 0:05:16I lose my bird.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18She just wants that badge? What is it for?
0:05:18 > 0:05:20So she can park up and go to her shops?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22She can park... honestly, man, so close.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24What about theme parks? Is she always getting up front?
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Front of the queue, mate. Front of the queue.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- She doesn't...- We did Alton Towers in two hours.- What?!
0:05:29 > 0:05:31I mean, both of them were stupid. I mean...
0:05:31 > 0:05:34A blind man driving? I mean, I never saw that one coming.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38He wasn't driving, though.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Oh, I keep forgetting he wasn't actually driving, was he?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- She was driving and they switched seats.- Aye, I know.
0:05:43 > 0:05:48The cops dish out the penalty points, and what do points make?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Disqualification!
0:05:51 > 0:05:56Meanwhile, Karen Ann Millar stands solitary at her station,
0:05:56 > 0:06:00keeping watch on the prairie and answering the call of the wild.
0:06:02 > 0:06:03As the desk sergeant,
0:06:03 > 0:06:04I no longer work with a partner,
0:06:04 > 0:06:06I'm very much a lone wolf.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07A lone she-wolf.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Have you got any peanut butter?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12A wolf of solitariness.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15I'm getting the smell of jobbie away, Officer Karen.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19And, sometimes, this lone wolf could stand a bit more lone.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24All right, Officer Karen?
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Hello, Bobby, what can I do for you?
0:06:26 > 0:06:27I hope I'm not too late.
0:06:29 > 0:06:30What is it you're after?
0:06:30 > 0:06:32It's to vote.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- Right. - And it says go down to the station.
0:06:35 > 0:06:40Yeah, Bobby, it's to the polling station. This is the police station.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44Is it not the same thing, but? It's the government, isn't it?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47See there, where it says you need to go up to the school? Right?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49And then on the card there, it'll have a number,
0:06:49 > 0:06:51it'll tell you which of the booths you go into,
0:06:51 > 0:06:53and then you just go in and cast your vote in there, OK?
0:06:53 > 0:06:55- It's in the school?- Yeah.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Are kids allowed to vote?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00No, you make a valid point.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02They send them home today, just to prevent that.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04If you head up just now and just go in,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06there'll be people there, they'll show you where to go,
0:07:06 > 0:07:08and you just make your vote and that's you done.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- And I vote for who I like? - Yeah, it's entirely up to you.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13That's what democracy is all about,
0:07:13 > 0:07:15you get to decide who's going to be in charge.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19Number one, obviously, would be Wesley Snipes.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23You know, the guy out of Blade?
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Yeah, I'm sure he would be very helpful in certain,
0:07:26 > 0:07:27very specific circumstances,
0:07:27 > 0:07:31but I don't know how good he's going to be at getting the bins out.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Number two...
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Ainsley Harriot.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38The TV cook.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41I'm aware of his oeuvre, yeah.
0:07:41 > 0:07:42He seems dead happy.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44He looks like a lovely person.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Plus, if he was running the country, the foodbanks would be amazing.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52I think, really, you're more supposed to go and get your polling
0:07:52 > 0:07:56card and pick from the people who are standing in your area.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- I've got the power. - You have got the power, Bobby.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01This is like a golden ticket. I've got the golden ticket.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- But as politics.- Yeah.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11Keep the pen, because I'm absolutely buzzing for democracy. Am I right?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13See you later, Officer Karen.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16In today's Scotland,
0:08:16 > 0:08:19very important people often mingle with normal people.
0:08:19 > 0:08:26These VIPs are guaranteed an extra special welcome from the Scot Squad.
0:08:26 > 0:08:31Ray McCoy is the special ops cop for the elite protection unit.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34My name's Ray and I'll be saving your life today.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38When Ray puts his best foot forward, he's got your back.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40It's a pretty exciting job.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43The training is almost as important as anything we'll do outside,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46because we've got to be ready, we've got to be fighting fit.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48The recent training we've been doing has been about...
0:08:48 > 0:08:50I could say a very important person.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53I mean, when it comes to Scotland, politics,
0:08:53 > 0:08:56it's sort of as high as you can get.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58I mean, I can't name her. Or him.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Eyes peeled, people.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02You don't know where those threats are going to come from,
0:09:02 > 0:09:08so we train using alien masks. Just to make it neutral.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10But, of course, you've also got the added benefit of
0:09:10 > 0:09:12we're prepared for aliens.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14I mean, yes, the chance is minimal,
0:09:14 > 0:09:18but minimal isn't zero,
0:09:18 > 0:09:20and it's part of my job to think the unthinkable
0:09:20 > 0:09:22and unthink the thinkable.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25And this is the Monster.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28It is fully armoured, bulletproof glass, of course.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29All tinted for privacy.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32A lot of people do some...well, whatever they want to do in there.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Round at the boot, we've got a full set of overalls for everyone,
0:09:36 > 0:09:38can be used as a disguise, but, also,
0:09:38 > 0:09:41coupled with that disguise, we've got a carpet.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44I cannot tell you how many times I've managed to sneak someone out
0:09:44 > 0:09:47of a building, dressed as a workman, with them wrapped in a carpet.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50It has literally worked every single time.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Ray has all the tech at his fingertips,
0:09:52 > 0:09:55all set to protect his protectees.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57MUSICAL CHIMES PLAY
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Why are we playing ice cream van music? Confusion.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02And one very, very important person,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05straddling the cutting edge of technology is the Chief.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08One of the big issues is automation, going forward.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Because everything's getting automated.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Your banking, your cars, everything.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16So, will the police ultimately be automated, is the question?
0:10:16 > 0:10:19And the answer to that is yes, that is coming.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Robot policemen. Now, problem there is,
0:10:22 > 0:10:24it's mainly one of perception.
0:10:24 > 0:10:29Because, of course, I'm going to be the commander of a robot army,
0:10:29 > 0:10:33and that, you know, that gets a wee bit Star Wars-y, you know?
0:10:33 > 0:10:35It's just a wee bit dystopian.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Instantly, people get worried. So, perception.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40What do we call it? We call it something else.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43If you take something like Robocop - positive image,
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Braveheart - positive image,
0:10:45 > 0:10:48put the two together, you get, say, RoboHeart.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Now, suddenly, even your eyes lit up,
0:10:50 > 0:10:53I could see that you're thinking, "Oh, yeah, that's OK."
0:10:53 > 0:10:55"I've been burgled, call for RoboHeart."
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Round he comes, everybody's happy.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02Might even have ones with blue faces, wee bit of hair coming in.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06And we can't be too far away from being able to take
0:11:06 > 0:11:10all my knowledge and experience out of my brain
0:11:10 > 0:11:14and download it onto a mainframe computer and preserve it forever.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18My brain and my soul, my very essence,
0:11:18 > 0:11:23so that I would be commander for all eternity, you know?
0:11:23 > 0:11:28Now, is that dystopian, or is that just brilliant?
0:11:29 > 0:11:33In the city, urban cops Sarah Fletcher and Jack McLaren
0:11:33 > 0:11:37make an arresting sight on the streets.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38I think the police uniform does look good.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Then, ie, I make it look good.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45Ie, feel sorry for the police officers that don't have the ability
0:11:45 > 0:11:47to make that uniform look good.
0:11:47 > 0:11:52To protect all and serve all is what they are all about.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Irrespective of who you are, what you are,
0:11:54 > 0:11:57it's our job to win hearts and minds in the community.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01It doesn't matter your race, colour, creed,
0:12:01 > 0:12:03we're there to help, you know?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Particularly if they're attractive looking women, in Jack's case.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Not especially, but obviously it doesn't matter
0:12:08 > 0:12:11if you're ugly or average looking, I'll still help you,
0:12:11 > 0:12:14but attractive looking women pay their taxes like everyone else.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16You need to come and help me! It's my wee boy.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- What's wrong?- He's fallen over, he can't get up.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19- Is he conscious?- Yes, he is.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21He's twisted his leg and he can't get up.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23It's OK. OK, OK.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25My wee boy's fallen and twisted his leg and he can't get up and...
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- OK. He's hurt his leg. Right, OK. OK.- We'll get the paramedics.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30- Look at me. Everything will be all right.- Oh, good.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32We're here to help. That's what you pay your taxes for.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34The wee boy has hurt himself, I'll lift him up...
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- Let's get the paramedics. - We'll take him to the medical centre. It'll be much quicker.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- You do look strong, so that's good. - Deceptively strong.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I'm so glad I found you, because I didn't know what to do
0:12:43 > 0:12:46- and there's nobody else.- Know what they say about paramedics?
0:12:46 > 0:12:49They're not cops, are they? Eh? It's all right, that's our job.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51We arrived at the scene to find the lady's son.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53- Mum!- The police are here.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57The police are going to help you. This is my boy.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Bigger lad. Kind of an adult baby.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01He was there, lying in a great deal of pain.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- Where is it sore on your leg? - There.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06There. So, you definitely can't stand, then, no?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- No, no, he can't.- No... - So he needs carried.- Absolutely.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11I said I would carry him to the health centre,
0:13:11 > 0:13:14which was not a problem, I was still obviously willing to do that,
0:13:14 > 0:13:16I just had to assess the situation.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I'll get you up, then I'll get you up onto my back, OK?
0:13:18 > 0:13:20- OK.- This is Jack.- Jack.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22He's a hero. Just pop that back on.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Let's get you to the doctor's, then, OK? 3, 2, 1!
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Ah, ah, ah!
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Oh, there we go.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Right, so, we're going to go, luckily, up the hill.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35It'll just be... Just one foot in front of the other.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Come on, champ. I know. I know how to walk, cheers, Sarah.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Oh, such a relief, honestly.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- I mean, he's strong. - He is strong, yeah.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- Are you all right, Jack? - Aye, good.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48He's doing well. He's doing well.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52Pretty athletic, I like my sports and my sit-ups and that.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Do you like sports and athletics yourself?
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Aye, my husband is an international rugby player, so...
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- Your what?- Aye, my husband.- Husband?
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Uh-huh. That's where he gets it from, you know?
0:14:01 > 0:14:04You never mentioned his dad earlier, but.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09No, honestly, it's not a problem. Honestly. It's fine.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Thank you so much. Honestly, I really appreciate it.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14- Sarah! Sarah! - Och, no, it's fine.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Oh!
0:14:15 > 0:14:18- Sorry, I thought you were fine. - I am fine.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Just worried about the wee man here not being able to get the gate.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- Are you all right there, son? - I'm fine.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25- No...- Oh, him?- Aye.- Aye.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36We got there in the end and got him to the health centre,
0:14:36 > 0:14:38which is all that counts, really.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Jack, on the other hand,
0:14:40 > 0:14:45spent a little bit longer in the health centre than the wee boy did.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Well, I sustained a lower back and a mid-back
0:14:48 > 0:14:50and a sort of upper back injury.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52It's an old injury through cage-fighting,
0:14:52 > 0:14:54which I'm quite proficient at.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I think it was absolutely worthwhile helping them.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58It's made them feel safer in the community,
0:14:58 > 0:15:02and we're there to help as, kind of, first-aiders and heroes.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08And there's more heroics on the agenda for Ray McCoy
0:15:08 > 0:15:13as he provides TLC for a visiting VIP.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16We essentially protect anyone who's important to Scotland.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18There's a certain process that you go through
0:15:18 > 0:15:21whenever we have these important dignitaries coming over,
0:15:21 > 0:15:24so, for instance, I have to vet the hotel, the staff have to be vetted.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Large window...
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Then I have to go into the rooms,
0:15:27 > 0:15:30make sure that there's nothing untoward there.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Of course, you've got to strip a bed.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Stripping a bed, not hard.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38Making a bed, however, 12-and-a-half seconds, boom, bed is remade.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Hospital corners, the lot. You want a little chocolate
0:15:41 > 0:15:42on your pillow? I'm your man.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45We are predominantly a plain clothes division,
0:15:45 > 0:15:48and, so, our uniform is whatever it needs to be that day.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50An example would be when the Pope was visiting,
0:15:50 > 0:15:52a lot of people would think,
0:15:52 > 0:15:54"Well, if you're going to disguise yourself with the Pope,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57"where do you go? Priest? Cardinal?"
0:15:57 > 0:15:59No. Nun.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02I had to learn Latin for that job.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04We just had the Deputy Prime Minister of the Netherlands over.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Hello. - Pleasure, Mr Deputy Prime Minister.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10It's always nice to have our cousins from the Continent over to visit us.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12He wanted to ride a bike. It's a very Dutch thing to do.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15That's fine, of course we'll facilitate that.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Ah, here we go! You got the bikes! Excellent. Of course, great stuff.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20OK, we're going to go for a bike ride,
0:16:20 > 0:16:23I think it's a good thing. Reduce the carbon footprint.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Come on, now! See if you can keep up with me, Roy.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27We...paramount, want him to be safe.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29I'll ride next to him at all times on the bike.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32We've also got a team behind us, who will be following us.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35I see you've got a nice bike there, Roy.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37I like your bike. Do you know what? Let's swap around.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40This is a better bike. I like this bike.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42It's always important, you know, to take what you want.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45And this is actually much smaller, I'm going to go for that bike again.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47This is much too small.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48People have quirks.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51So, each time I'm protecting someone, I'm given a package,
0:16:51 > 0:16:53and in that, it's got a briefing
0:16:53 > 0:16:55about the things they may and may not want to do.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57For instance, the Deputy Prime Minister's had,
0:16:57 > 0:16:59"I would like to ride a bike." Fine.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01What it didn't mention is that the man has
0:17:01 > 0:17:04an insatiable need for strippers.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07From the people of the Netherlands to the noble people of Scotland...
0:17:07 > 0:17:11From the people of the Netherlands to the noble people of Scotland...
0:17:11 > 0:17:14From the people of the Netherlands to the noble people of Scotland...
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Herr Struber? Are you all right?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Are you ready? Are you decent?
0:17:18 > 0:17:20..Scotland. Scotland. Scotland. Scotland...
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Or even in here?
0:17:22 > 0:17:24He managed to trick me with a tape recording
0:17:24 > 0:17:26of his voice on a Dictaphone.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Bollocks!
0:17:27 > 0:17:30He then scaled out of a four-storey window
0:17:30 > 0:17:32and ran off to the nearest strip club that he could find.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35You better start checking out the local haunts.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Not ideal.
0:17:37 > 0:17:38We tracked him down, though.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40He was enjoying himself.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44- You!- Hey! Roy!- I have looked all over the place for you.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45Drinks for Roy!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47- There are no drinks. - Drinks for Roy.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50- Don't get drinks for me. - On the Netherlands government.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54No, the Netherlands government has already texted me about this.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55I'm terribly sorry.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58No, don't take them away. I'm just doing electioneering.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01After a bit of a discussion, I think
0:18:01 > 0:18:05he came round to understanding why his need for safety was so...
0:18:05 > 0:18:07I mean, I did slap him,
0:18:07 > 0:18:12but I think after that, he got the idea that safety is paramount.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Show's over for Strubers.
0:18:14 > 0:18:19The bodyguard protects his body from the most dangerous body
0:18:19 > 0:18:21of them all - himself.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Out on the roads, Singh and McKirdy battle slashed budgets,
0:18:27 > 0:18:32doing much more with much less, much more better.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35It's no secret. There is budget cuts within the police.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Back in the day, our police cars were maintained weekly,
0:18:38 > 0:18:40and we're finding it a lot more difficult to try
0:18:40 > 0:18:42and keep on top of the police cars.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Mind that I've got that jam set for my mum's birthday, in there,
0:18:45 > 0:18:47in that glove compartment.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Oh, no...!
0:18:49 > 0:18:52- Mate, you know it's... The latch doesn't work.- I forgot!
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- It's stuck. - Oh, you're kidding me on.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59She loves her jams. She loves her jams.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Well, you're going to have to see if you can pry it open again.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05The cuts are affecting us every way possible.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07- All we need...- It's even affecting my mum's birthday.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09That was a great jam.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11We're determined to keep the police car on the road,
0:19:11 > 0:19:14so, sometimes we need to resort to actually doing it ourselves.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Sticking stuff together with a bit of duct tape.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18We MacGyver the car.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20R1 to control for registration check.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- RADIO CRACKLES - That's not...
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- DISTORTED VOICE ON RADIO - Oh...
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Could you stop contacting us through radio just now?
0:19:28 > 0:19:32You're failing and it's... winding me up. Over.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Control, it's PC McKirdy here.
0:19:35 > 0:19:36Aye, look, the reason why we can't reply
0:19:36 > 0:19:38is this radio's still not working right.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Tell them about the glove compartment.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- Aye, well, it's not got to do with the glove...- But it's a complaint.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- My mum's jam's in that glove compartment and I can't get it out. - You don't need to say that.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Like my colleague PC Hugh McKirdy here says,
0:19:49 > 0:19:52we might duct tape some things together, just to make sure
0:19:52 > 0:19:55that it does hold together properly, and most of the time, that works.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Oh, oh, oh! No!
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- Wait! Wait, stop! No, wait. - No, no, no, no.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Turn round. The other way, the other way!
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- Oh, come on...- What's going on? What are you doing, man?
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Right, you take him in. I'll sort this out.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10I mean, we will resort to using various different things
0:20:10 > 0:20:12to keep the car on the road.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14I mean, I'm not saying we'll use our handcuffs
0:20:14 > 0:20:16to hold the exhaust pipe together,
0:20:16 > 0:20:20but we'll do anything in our means, anything in our power,
0:20:20 > 0:20:22to keep the police car safe and professional looking.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28So, I'm off to a Parliamentary Select Committee.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30It's Penal Rehabilitation and Education.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34It'll be me and a number of charitable foundations.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Just exchanging ideas about how best to reform
0:20:37 > 0:20:41and help young offenders, and older offenders, not reoffend.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42And...
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Jean, is that Barbara Edwards?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Head of that charity.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49That's not Barbara, is it?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Barbara Barbara? My Barbara?
0:20:52 > 0:20:53It is?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57HE EXHALES
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Right...looks like we're going to meet my ex-wife.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04GENERAL CHATTER
0:21:04 > 0:21:05Hello.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Barbara.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Cameron.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Well, nice to see you.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Mm. Oh.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16- Yes...- Come on. Come on.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Good. How are you?
0:21:19 > 0:21:23- I'm good. And you? You look well. - Yes.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25- Been dieting? It's worked. - Yes. Well, you know...
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Yeah, you've lost...
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Back in the game, Barbara, back in the game.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31- Well... - And how are you, how's everything?
0:21:31 > 0:21:34How's my house...the house... your house?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37My house is... it's changed, actually.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38- Has it?- Yeah.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- So, you're doing OK financially? You're fine?- Fine.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42- You're absolutely fine. - Finally.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Have you not got too much?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Too much money from me...? No?
0:21:46 > 0:21:50- WHISPERS:- I am not going to allow you to wind me up.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52- So, I...- I didn't start this. I didn't start this.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55I didn't WANT this. Somebody ELSE wanted this.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Ladies and gentlemen, if you please.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58- OK, yes. - Thank you.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00I'm going to my seat now.
0:22:00 > 0:22:01Right. Yes. I'll see you later.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03As long as we're not sitting together.
0:22:03 > 0:22:08OK, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen...
0:22:08 > 0:22:12The term "grass" isn't just applied to a drugs bust -
0:22:12 > 0:22:16snitches provide vital info to DCs Squire and McGill,
0:22:16 > 0:22:20clyping on criminals and dobbing in the dodgy.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Informants are a massive part of what we do.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Without informants, we couldn't have cracked
0:22:24 > 0:22:26some of the biggest cases in Scotland's history.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29We recently received information that an establishment
0:22:29 > 0:22:32was being used to store and distribute illicit material.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33This is... See, this is typical.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35We get a tip-off and look where we're at.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37A flipping funeral director's!
0:22:37 > 0:22:41We went in and the place looked, you know, legitimate.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- They'd headstones and coffins, and it all looked very nice.- Yeah.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47And then, in walked this lovely young boy.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48DC Squire. DC McGill.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50- All right? - And you are?
0:22:50 > 0:22:52I'm Barry Greenhorn.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Barry Greenhorn?
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Yeah. That's me.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Are you related to Billy Greenhorn at all?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Yeah, that's my uncle.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02- Oh, your uncle? - Uncle Billy.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Bingo. Right away, wee light bulb is going off in my head.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08They're a very, very dodgy family, they're into everything,
0:23:08 > 0:23:10so we played a wee bit of cat and mouse with him and stuff.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13I didn't know that your uncle was involved in funeral parlours.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17Oh, no, we've just branched into this. This is a new business.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Oh, right, OK.- New venture. - Uh-huh.- Oh.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21I hope you don't mind me saying,
0:23:21 > 0:23:23- you're quite young to be involved in this.- Yeah.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- How old are you, Barry? - I'm 17.- 17?
0:23:26 > 0:23:29And how long have you been working in the funeral industry?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Just a couple of weeks, you know?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33You seem pretty set out for a couple of weeks.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Like, it seems pretty... - Well, that's because...
0:23:36 > 0:23:37..you know, organised.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40..we care about burying people, and that's what we do.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43And, Barry, can I ask you, are you solely in charge here,
0:23:43 > 0:23:46or do you have a superior or a manager or...?
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Well, I'm in charge when I'm here.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53I can't speak for what goes on when I'm not here.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56- Oh?- Because I'm not here to see it.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59You don't expect a 17-year-old to be the front of a funeral home.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I mean, you'd expect to see them in a burger joint.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03To be fair, he did try, though.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05I was drawn by these coffins over here.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08- Oh, yeah, lovely coffins, yeah. - Now, what's that made out of?- Yeah.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10That...that's made from wood.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- Wood.- Uh-huh. - Do you know what kind of wood?
0:24:13 > 0:24:16- From a tree. - Do you know what kind of tree?
0:24:16 > 0:24:19A Christmas tree.
0:24:19 > 0:24:20- Christmas tree.- Yes.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22I didn't know you could get coffins made out of...
0:24:22 > 0:24:25I thought folks just dumped them in the back lane.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29- Well, no, because...- Folks make coffins out of them?- We come round the back and we pick up all
0:24:29 > 0:24:31the unused Christmas trees, and make a wee coffin.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- There you go. Like recycled coffins. - That's it.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36We're saving the planet, a dead person at a time.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- I'm kind of drawn to this one over here.- No, don't...- I like this one.
0:24:39 > 0:24:40So, how do you get this open, then?
0:24:40 > 0:24:43I wouldn't know, because I don't open coffins, I just close them.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- We'll give it a wee shoogle, will we?- Just a wee lift up. - Aye, McGill, come on.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48I think it's broken. Oh...
0:24:48 > 0:24:50- Oh!- Oh!- Barry...
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Once we opened the coffin, we discovered a whole coffin
0:24:53 > 0:24:56full of thousands and thousands of knocked-off cigarettes,
0:24:56 > 0:24:58so, bull's-eye.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59They can't all be for you.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02They are. I'm a big smoker.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Barry, I'm going to put it to you that this might be a wee front.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- What do you think? - I think it's definitely a front. - It's not a front.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Are you fronting this shop for your uncle?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12No... No...
0:25:12 > 0:25:15In some ways, actually, it's quite clever, because who's going
0:25:15 > 0:25:17to think that cigarettes and drugs are going about in a hearse?
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- I mean, you just wouldn't. - Even though Barry was 17, it's still a crime,
0:25:20 > 0:25:23we still have to take him in. He's a young boy,
0:25:23 > 0:25:25but we've got to do our job. And we did let him phone his mum.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Right, watch your napper.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32At the end of the shift, there's a great satisfaction.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34I think you just feel a wee bit that, you know, the streets
0:25:34 > 0:25:38are a wee bit cleaner, the city's, you know, a safer place,
0:25:38 > 0:25:41and all-in-all, I think it makes the world a better place,
0:25:41 > 0:25:43that we've done our job.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46And you're one step closer to that police pension.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Back at the Select Committee on rehabilitation,
0:25:49 > 0:25:53inter-agency tension is running high.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56To kick us off, I wonder if I could ask you a little bit
0:25:56 > 0:26:00about the importance of giving someone a second chance.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Depends on the crime.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05We all make mistakes, and for all of us
0:26:05 > 0:26:11sitting in our ivory towers, in our uniforms, it's very difficult
0:26:11 > 0:26:15sometimes to come down out of that tower and understand why.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Boredom, being neglected,
0:26:19 > 0:26:21being under-stimulated,
0:26:21 > 0:26:23and being taken for granted.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26It's the snowflake generation once again. Here we go.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29It's just, "Oh, I didn't... No-one took me on holiday."
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Just because the criminal's husband, just because he's away
0:26:32 > 0:26:34for the weekend, doesn't mean that the criminal should commit
0:26:34 > 0:26:39the crime while he's gone on a fact-finding trip to Bournemouth.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43Facts established, both parties seek out common ground.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45I think it's absolutely necessary for the sake of all
0:26:45 > 0:26:48involved that we work together.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Well, we can get back there. It's hard...
0:26:53 > 0:26:56- Can be. Sometimes. - Sometimes it has to be hard.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00And sometimes it's going to get harder before you know which way...
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Exactly, that's what I'm saying, if we work together,
0:27:02 > 0:27:05that's when you can get it hardest of all.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Rehabilitation becomes possible
0:27:07 > 0:27:10as official bodies move closer together.
0:27:10 > 0:27:15I believe that if we're easing the offender back into society,
0:27:15 > 0:27:18- maybe there could be the occasional...- Probationary period...
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Like a weekend. Maybe they get together,
0:27:20 > 0:27:21- you know, at weekends. - Good idea.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23It's important to have the offender passionate about
0:27:23 > 0:27:26that rehabilitation, is it? Do you...?
0:27:26 > 0:27:29I think you take that passion, and we have to now, you know,
0:27:29 > 0:27:33handle it, if you like, you know, we have to shape it and deal with it.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35- Together.- Together.
0:27:35 > 0:27:36Two-handed approach.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39And they may even be better at... Who knows?
0:27:39 > 0:27:41- Exactly.- Who knows?
0:27:41 > 0:27:44It might be better. You don't know. Only one way of finding out.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Some of these boys have learned stuff inside
0:27:46 > 0:27:48that's made them even better.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50With new positions agreed...
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Thank you very much for this session.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56..all parties come to a satisfying conclusion.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59More than it is a question of...
0:28:03 > 0:28:04..a question of...
0:28:05 > 0:28:07Sorry, could you excuse me just a moment?
0:28:07 > 0:28:10I'll... But, yes, I think you're right, it's hard.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12It's very...
0:28:14 > 0:28:15It's very hard.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21Hey, that was a Select Committee!
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Exhausting, though, I'll tell you. But worth it.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27Excellent. Spring in my step. Got the juices flowing.