0:00:14 > 0:00:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Hello. I'm Fred MacAulay and welcome back to Scots On The Box,
0:00:26 > 0:00:30the quiz that celebrates 60 years of TV in Scotland.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Earlier this evening, in the first part of the show,
0:00:32 > 0:00:36I asked how many "mans" were in this Chewing The Fat sketch.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39- Do you do walkmans, man? - Walkmans, man. Tenner, man.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- Does it play this, man?- That's a disc, man. You need a discman, man.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44- A discman, man? - Aye, for playing your discs in, man.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47- What is the disc, man?- Anchorman, man.- Anchorman's a film, man.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50- You need a DVD, man.- Oh, man, nae walkman, nae discman, man.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53- How much for a DVD man, man?- Ton, man.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Ton, man! You're a highwayman, man!
0:00:57 > 0:01:01If you're playing along at home and got 29, you'd still be wrong,
0:01:01 > 0:01:04as there were two more mans than you probably thought.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Greg Hemphill and Ford Kiernan, of course.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09In this show, I'll be unearthing lots more great
0:01:09 > 0:01:12moments from our nation's TV archives and using them
0:01:12 > 0:01:15to test my panellists' knowledge of all things Scottish on the box.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17So let's meet the teams.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Our first team captain is an actress with a gift for mimicry.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Her Ronni Ancona is very convincing.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27With her, actor Alex Norton and comedian Mark Nelson.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30APPLAUSE
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Our other team captain has a first class honours degree
0:01:34 > 0:01:36in mathematics, which must come in handy
0:01:36 > 0:01:39when working behind the counter in Still Game.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41He can accurately count the wasted years.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43It's comic actor Sanjeev Kohli.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47With him, comedian Susan Calman and archaeologist and historian Neil Oliver.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49APPLAUSE
0:01:53 > 0:01:57It's time to find out which team deserve to be monarch of the glen
0:01:57 > 0:02:01and which deserves to be humanely culled and made into sausages.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Let's play a round called Hit The Telly.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08This may look like an old broken down TV,
0:02:08 > 0:02:10but our BBC engineers have worked their magic
0:02:10 > 0:02:15and it now holds the entire 60 years of archived Scottish broadcasting.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19I'll hit the telly, and it'll play a random snippet from a show
0:02:19 > 0:02:22from the last six decades which I'll then quiz my guests on.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Ronni's team, you're going first. Tell me when to hit it.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Go on, now.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31Do you have a name, by the way? Or don't angels have names?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Of course we've got names.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Seraphim.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Cherubim.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Gabriel.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Aw!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44What's yours?
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Boabie.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52APPLAUSE
0:02:52 > 0:02:56That was the late great Gerard Kelly, with his pal Billy Connolly,
0:02:56 > 0:03:00from the 1988 Christmas special of BBC Scotland series City Lights.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01Boabie, of course,
0:03:01 > 0:03:05one of the funniest words in the Scottish vocabulary.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Gerard Kelly played Willie Melvin,
0:03:07 > 0:03:09a bank clerk at the Strathclyde Savings Bank.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11But what was his dream job?
0:03:11 > 0:03:17Was he not aspiring to have a really respectable vocation like...
0:03:17 > 0:03:19a journalist.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23- He wanted to be a writer, didn't he? - He wanted to be a writer.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24He wanted to be a novelist.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28- He wanted to do a novel about... - Oh! I know what it was.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32It was called something like My Life Up A Close, or something.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Ronni and Alex, well done. He had dreams of being a novelist
0:03:35 > 0:03:38and most of the episodes revolved around him trying to
0:03:38 > 0:03:41get his autobiographical book My Childhood Up A Close published.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Bang on the money, Alex Norton.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45APPLAUSE
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Sanjeev's team, tell me when to hit the telly.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Erm...chib it with your hand...now.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Furtive! That's the word I'd use! Furtive!
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Para's been furtive since we left Inveraray.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Aye, furtive. That's the word! Furtive.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22APPLAUSE
0:04:22 > 0:04:26Team Sanjeev, that was The Vital Spark, written by Neil Munro
0:04:26 > 0:04:28and broadcast by the BBC in 1966.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31You saw the wonderful John Grieve playing Dan MacPhail,
0:04:31 > 0:04:35the book-loving engineer on the Clyde puffer, the Vital Spark.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38You would also have noticed that we pixelated the book he was holding.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Can you take a guess what he was reading?
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Clearly an adult publication. And he's saying the word "furtive" over and over again.
0:04:45 > 0:04:50- I think it's a sexy thesaurus. - That's easy for you to say!
0:04:50 > 0:04:55Featuring lovelies in states of undress, saying posh words.
0:04:55 > 0:04:5850 Shades Of Battleship Grey.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Oh!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02It was always something seamy.
0:05:02 > 0:05:07Something like I Was Held Hostage By Sex-starved Vixens,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- A True Story.- Well, I'm surprised none of you got it.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Let's have a look.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15It was Lady Cynthia Sins Again.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Of course it was. Who hasn't read that?!
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Not nearly as racy as it sounds.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24It's about a member of the House of Lords who falsifies her expenses.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28- On to Ronni's team. Say when.- Oh, right. OK, now.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34Did you really feel at the time that you had what it takes?
0:05:34 > 0:05:38I thought I was terrific, I really did! I thought I was great!
0:05:38 > 0:05:42'Everybody knows Marie McDonald McLaughlin Lawrie.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46'She's been called variously gravel-throated, raucous, cheeky,
0:05:46 > 0:05:50'shattering and vivacious, bouncy, a bundle of talent, a great star.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53'The butcher's daughter from Dennistoun is now 22,
0:05:53 > 0:05:55'one of the richest girls in Britain,
0:05:55 > 0:05:59'and for the last eight years she's been in every sense a Lulu.'
0:05:59 > 0:06:01APPLAUSE
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- "A Lulu!"- Does anybody know exactly what a Lulu is?
0:06:05 > 0:06:10Is it not a term that somebody from Morningside, a lady,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13would call her private parts?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Cameron, if you take it with that attitude,
0:06:16 > 0:06:20you'll be going nowhere near my lulu tonight!
0:06:22 > 0:06:25I think it comes...
0:06:25 > 0:06:27There was a popular song in the 1920s called
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Hullabaloo Loo Don't Bring Lulu.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32So I think she might have taken it from that.
0:06:32 > 0:06:37The idea being that Lulu is a kind of a fizzy...all about town
0:06:37 > 0:06:39sort of girl.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43Logically, a Lulu should be a double toilet. A tandem toilet.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46You know like women go into the toilet in pairs.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I don't really know what they're doing.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Just talking about boys and stuff.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- Is that it?- Just talking about boys and stuff.- You have the partition.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58No, we take that away. That's just there when men go in.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00That's when it become a lulu.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04If you go into the ladies, there's no walls. There's no toilets.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06It's just a sofa.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09According to the Cambridge Dictionary,
0:07:09 > 0:07:12it is now something extremely good or extremely bad.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13And you can't criticise that.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17The next clip is for Sanjeev's team. Tell me when to hit the telly.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Now.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Let's find out what the weather's up to over the next few days.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29This afternoon, it'll be cold, wet and windy across most of Scotland.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33We're under the influence of low pressure and this weather
0:07:33 > 0:07:37front pushing northwards is bringing cloud and outbreaks of rain.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39APPLAUSE
0:07:39 > 0:07:43So, simple question, who was that man?
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I have actually spoken to Sally Magnusson about that,
0:07:46 > 0:07:49and she said he was genuinely nervous about addressing
0:07:49 > 0:07:52the nation, doing the weather. Her advice to him was -
0:07:52 > 0:07:56don't think of the whole nation watching you, just one plant.
0:07:56 > 0:08:01It was Prince Charles in May 2012, presenting the weather from Glasgow.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04He was introduced by Sally Magnusson, who has recently
0:08:04 > 0:08:07written a book which may have raised a few eyebrows.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09What was it about?
0:08:09 > 0:08:12I'm not sure. Was it racy?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- Was it controversial? - Not particularly.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Well, let's look at this logically.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21If it's a book that raises eyebrows and it's not racy,
0:08:21 > 0:08:24what else could it be? Controversial politically?
0:08:24 > 0:08:29- Did she reveal herself to be a Communist?- No.- Right.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31That's public knowledge.
0:08:31 > 0:08:36Next one. She has been reading out the wrong news now for 15 years.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40I'm sorry, Susan, you're very close. That was Sally McNair.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Sally's book is The Life Of Pee,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46the story of how urine got everywhere.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48What?!
0:08:48 > 0:08:50I thought only men knew that.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54Prince Charles did a reasonable job presenting the weather as an
0:08:54 > 0:08:57amateur, but let's have a look at how a real pro might have done it.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00DROWNED OUT BY LAUGHTER
0:09:05 > 0:09:09It's been a funny kind of a day today.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12LAUGHTER
0:09:17 > 0:09:21As you can see, there's been absolutely no weather at all.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24APPLAUSE
0:09:26 > 0:09:30It's never quite Hogmanay without Rikki Fulton in Scotch & Wry.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32So now, it's Hogmanay.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Checking the scores, I see it's a close call but Sanjeev's team,
0:09:35 > 0:09:38are just like Dougie Donnelly's hair, perfectly placed.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42APPLAUSE
0:09:44 > 0:09:46This next round is called Who Is It?
0:09:46 > 0:09:50In this round, we ask some, let's just say more mature viewers,
0:09:50 > 0:09:53to comment on their favourite Scottish TV icons.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Sanjeev, all you and your team have to do is work out who they're
0:09:56 > 0:09:58talking about and it's not as easy as you think.
0:09:58 > 0:10:03I like yer voice. Your body's nae bad. The clothes, I could work wi'.
0:10:03 > 0:10:08It's just yodelly, you know? "Woo-oo"!
0:10:08 > 0:10:15A gallus Glasgow boy. He's wearing a white rhinestone cowboy outfit.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17He would be nicer if he didnae wear white.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Because white is a disgusting colour
0:10:19 > 0:10:22for men to wear at the best of times.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23I don't know why he was called that.
0:10:23 > 0:10:28- Except, you know, because it was rhyming slang.- Aye. Mm-hm.
0:10:28 > 0:10:33Well, it's quite obvious. Yodelling, women swooning. Iggy Pop.
0:10:35 > 0:10:43It's clearly one of our native musical heroes. It is Sydney Devine!
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Sydney Devine, you reckon? Let's have a look.
0:10:45 > 0:10:51- # You know just where you are... - Come and dance, come and dance
0:10:51 > 0:10:56# Through the eyes of love You see a thousand stars
0:10:56 > 0:11:00# Oh, when you dance, dance Dance to my ten guitars... #
0:11:00 > 0:11:02APPLAUSE
0:11:02 > 0:11:04A round of applause indeed.
0:11:04 > 0:11:08That was from Devine Country, broadcast by STV in 1979.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11He's known as Steak and Kidney, but can anyone come up with
0:11:11 > 0:11:14any other celebrity television food nicknames?
0:11:14 > 0:11:19- Fred McCauliflower Cheese!- Wa-ay! I'll take that.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23Sanjeev Coca-Kohli!
0:11:23 > 0:11:30Sausage and Mashley Jensen. David Tennant's Lager!
0:11:30 > 0:11:35- You're on fire! - Tikka-la Benedetti! Scone Connery!
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Or, Billy Scone-olly!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Flan and Anna!
0:11:42 > 0:11:48LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:11:48 > 0:11:51It's no wonder Miss Falkirk fell for you, by the way!
0:11:51 > 0:11:53You see, I've got all the patter.
0:11:53 > 0:11:59I've only got one. Anita Dob-scone. Scone. Oh, come on!
0:11:59 > 0:12:03- Shandy Murray! - Stop it! Stop it!
0:12:03 > 0:12:07The Brandy Alexander Brothers!
0:12:07 > 0:12:11Andy Murray-Mints! It's so easy!
0:12:11 > 0:12:15That's brilliant. You're watching Neil Oh-love-a-pun!
0:12:16 > 0:12:21- Neil O-liver and onions! - See if there's a switch.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Maca-Ronni Ancona!
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Love that!
0:12:26 > 0:12:31Man's a genius! There's got to be more coming, we just know it.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Sanjeev Kohli-flower cheese!
0:12:33 > 0:12:37- You've overdone the cauliflower cheese!- It's easily done.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Frankie Boyle-d potatoes! Frankie Boyle-d rice!
0:12:42 > 0:12:46None of us know what's just happened in the studio, OK?
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Something just happened to Neil, he's going to be OK.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53We're going to get help. And if you've been affected by any of the issues...
0:12:53 > 0:12:56please phone the BBC for help.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Ronni's team, we've got more of our mature viewers for you.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Can you work out which Scottish telly icon they're talking about?
0:13:02 > 0:13:08He has that kind of a broad, Scottish pie face!
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Honestly, someone you'd love to say,
0:13:10 > 0:13:14I wouldnae mind staying the night with him!
0:13:14 > 0:13:18When he sang, it was his movement when he sang. You know. Yes.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21BOTH: # I've just flew doon from the Isle of Skye
0:13:21 > 0:13:26# I'm no' very big and I'm awful shy Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum
0:13:26 > 0:13:29# Donald, where's yer troosers? #
0:13:29 > 0:13:33I can see all the tumblers falling into place there, Alex.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37- Go on, Alex. - It's the great Andy Stewart!
0:13:37 > 0:13:42It was. Can I just acknowledge that some of the ladies that were in the clip are in the audience?
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Thank you very much indeed, ladies, in the third row. Lovely to see you.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50APPLAUSE
0:13:50 > 0:13:54A lot of people's favourite, Andy Stewart. Here's a wee look at him in action.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56# Just come down from the Isle of Skye
0:13:56 > 0:13:58# I'm no' very big and I'm awful shy
0:13:58 > 0:14:02# And the lassies shout when I go by Donald, where's yer troosers?
0:14:02 > 0:14:04# Let the wind blow high Let the wind blow low
0:14:04 > 0:14:07# Through the streets in my kilt I'll go
0:14:07 > 0:14:11# All the lassies say hello Donald, where's yer troosers? #
0:14:11 > 0:14:14APPLAUSE
0:14:14 > 0:14:20That was indeed Andy Stewart singing the self-same, Donald, Where's Yer Troosers?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22From the White Heather Club in 1960.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Apparently only took Andy ten minutes to write the song,
0:14:25 > 0:14:28but can you tell me, anyone, exactly where he wrote it?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30We can't talk about the White Heather Club.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34First rule of White Heather Club, you don't talk about White Heather Club.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37- I know. He wrote it in London. - No, it was more specific than that.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40He wrote it with his trousers round his ankles on a toilet.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44An interesting songwriting technique that also saw him pen
0:14:44 > 0:14:47the less well-known Donald, I'd Give It Five Minutes, If I Were You.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51And Donald, That's A Hire Kilt, You'll Not Get Your Deposit Back Now.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55At the end of that round, our two teams are as difficult to separate
0:14:55 > 0:14:57as Rab C Nesbitt is from his string vest.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00APPLAUSE
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Now it's time for What Happens Next?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09I'll play a clip from the archive that's dustier than STV's
0:15:09 > 0:15:11award cabinet these days.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14I'll press pause and I want our teams to tell me what happened next.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Sanjeev's team, have a look at this.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21What's this?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23A Boy Scout jamboree?
0:15:27 > 0:15:29The last person that did that near me...
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Was the Moderator of the Church of Scotland.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34LAUGHTER
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Very good.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38I'm going to ask you what happened to the last person who
0:15:38 > 0:15:41spat at Taggart and no clues from you, Alex.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43He was a no-nonsense fellow, Taggart, wasn't he?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Very little nonsense.
0:15:45 > 0:15:50The last person who did that is now playing Abu Nazir at the King's.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Or is eating soup through a straw. It's one of those ones, isn't it?
0:15:53 > 0:15:56The latter is closer. Let's find out.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59The last person that did that near me
0:15:59 > 0:16:02wore his baws hame for earrings.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04LAUGHTER
0:16:04 > 0:16:06APPLAUSE
0:16:11 > 0:16:13That was, of course, Chief Inspector Jim Taggart
0:16:13 > 0:16:16in 1986 from STV's long-running drama,
0:16:16 > 0:16:18played by the much-missed Mark McManus.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21In the 11 years that Mark McManus played the character,
0:16:21 > 0:16:23he never once said, "There's been a murder."
0:16:23 > 0:16:28Do you not think, though, I mean, if he did put your baws on your ears
0:16:28 > 0:16:31that, once you were on your way home, you'd probably take them off?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34I don't think you'd go all the way home with baws for earrings.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I think what you're trying to say is you wouldn't meander
0:16:36 > 0:16:39back in home and go, "Do you like these? I'm not sure."
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Oh, never mind, there we are.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Sanjeev's team, on which popular children's show did
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Mark McManus begin his television career?
0:16:47 > 0:16:50We know this one. We'll just, we'll just... Skippy... No?
0:16:50 > 0:16:52- Oh, of course, yes. - Skippy The Bush Kangaroo.
0:16:52 > 0:16:53Absolutely right.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56When living in Australia, Mark played Ted, a shearer, in the 1968
0:16:56 > 0:17:00episode of Skippy The Bush Kangaroo, and we can have a wee look.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04I thought you said nobody could find us here.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07A kid and a kangaroo. That's all we need.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11APPLAUSE
0:17:11 > 0:17:14What would an Australian Taggart have sounded like?
0:17:14 > 0:17:16- (AUSTRALIAN ACCENT) - There's been a murder.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- That's New Zealand.- No. Oh, sorry. - (SAME ACCENT)- There's been a murder.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- That's better.- Yeah, OK.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Am I right in thinking that Mark McManus's brother
0:17:24 > 0:17:26- was the lead singer of The Sweet? - Half brother.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27- Absolutely right.- Of the who?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29No, The Sweet.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31LAUGHTER
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- SUSAN:- That was great.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36There was once a terrible incident on the set of the
0:17:36 > 0:17:40Australian Broadcasting Corporation when Skippy spat at Mark McManus.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44LAUGHTER
0:17:44 > 0:17:46APPLAUSE
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Who knew Skippy's baws were so shiny. Ronni's team next.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Here are the inseparable Alexander Brothers from the 1960s
0:17:55 > 0:17:59advert for the late, lamented Scottish off-licence, Agnew's.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- It must have cost you a fortune.- No. - Where did you buy it all?
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Agnew's - much cheaper.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07- Most of Agnew's whiskies are still at last year's prices.- Help yourselves.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Don't play the piano.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17So, why is Jack asking Tom not to play the piano?
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Or maybe it's Tom asking Jack.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21I don't think even their wives know which is which.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25It's good to see what Jedward will look like in 40 years, isn't it?
0:18:25 > 0:18:28I thought he was just saying, "Don't play the piano."
0:18:28 > 0:18:32The other one says, "Why?" He says, "Just don't."
0:18:32 > 0:18:33Cos you're not good at it.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Have you heard yourself playing the piano?
0:18:35 > 0:18:41No, because I think, I think they hid the whisky in the piano.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43In the piano. Well, let's have a look and see why.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Don't play the piano, I'm hiding my whisky in there.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Yes, it's far cheaper at Agnew's.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53This is almost like a commercial for Agnew's stores.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54LAUGHTER
0:18:54 > 0:18:56APPLAUSE
0:18:58 > 0:19:00The Alexander Brothers there, right enough,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02doing nothing for the Scottish stereotype.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04The only ones at a party wearing kilts,
0:19:04 > 0:19:06boasting about buying cheap booze
0:19:06 > 0:19:09and being so tight they hide it from their guests in a piano.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10LAUGHTER
0:19:10 > 0:19:12This next clip is for Team Sanjeev.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15It's an extract from Reporting Scotland with Ken Bryson
0:19:15 > 0:19:17telling us about one of the most important
0:19:17 > 0:19:19moments in Scotland's very proud history.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23It's just a few minutes after half past 12,
0:19:23 > 0:19:26and business is brisk in this pub in Bannockburn near Stirling.
0:19:26 > 0:19:32Nothing unusual, you may think, but this is history in the making. Why?
0:19:32 > 0:19:35And, no, I wasn't just about to buy a round.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Why do you think this was history in the making?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39I think one of the most significant things
0:19:39 > 0:19:42that could have happened in that pub was a woman being allowed in,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45because there is some guys with perms, but there's no women.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49It looks like a Jocky Wilson lookalike contest.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Let's find out.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Because it's Sunday, and up until now, pubs in Scotland
0:19:54 > 0:19:57have not been allowed to open on Sundays.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01That's right, after the Licensing Scotland Act of 1976 was introduced,
0:20:01 > 0:20:05it wasn't until 1977 that we could have a drink on a Sunday.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07And, Susan, you were very close,
0:20:07 > 0:20:10men-only bars were also abolished that year.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15Sunday viewing on television, do you remember Scotspraise, any of you?
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- Scots Praise?- Yeah, Scotspraise.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19There's no such thing as praise in Scotland.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Let's have a look at a clip from Scotspraise,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23broadcast by BBC Scotland in 1977.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26In particular, I want you to listen carefully
0:20:26 > 0:20:28to what the minister says to the wee boy.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- Hello. Happy new year to you. - Thank you.- And a happy new year.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34And to you too, and how's your hangover?
0:20:34 > 0:20:36LAUGHTER
0:20:38 > 0:20:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:20:41 > 0:20:44That was the splendidly named, very reverent
0:20:44 > 0:20:48Dr William B Johnston inquiring of the young boy's hangover.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Perhaps the Communion wine should have been kept on a higher shelf.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Ronni's team, it's time for the next clip,
0:20:55 > 0:20:58and we're about to see some very excitable young ladies
0:20:58 > 0:21:01who are going to be looking for their heroes in the flesh.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04'They began queuing first thing this morning.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06'By midday, the police estimated well over 1,000 teenagers
0:21:06 > 0:21:09'spilling outside the barriers along Glasgow's Union Street.'
0:21:09 > 0:21:12- The lead singer. - All of them.- A few of them.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13He's got a lovely smile.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17- He's got a lovely smile and he's... - And he's beautiful!
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- (IMPERSONATES GIRL)- He's beautiful!
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Who do we think they were getting excited about?
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Greggs the bakery opening?
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Yeah, Gregg was going to be there in person.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32They were queuing up to meet him, get his autograph. No, I think...
0:21:32 > 0:21:37was it Jimmy Shand's final farewell concert at the Apollo?
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Was that the queue to get into an Alexander Brothers party?
0:21:41 > 0:21:42In their dreams, yeah.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45There's only one person I think is that beautiful,
0:21:45 > 0:21:47and that's Marti Pellow from Wet Wet Wet.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51- Marti Pellow, you reckon. Let's find out.- It can't be Marti Pellow!
0:21:51 > 0:21:53'At the record store, fever pitch was reached as the Wets,
0:21:53 > 0:21:56'as they're known to their fans, made their first appearance of the day.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58'In a quieter moment below stairs, the band told me
0:21:58 > 0:22:01'how they felt about their new-found success.'
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Basically, when your clothes start getting stole off the washing line,
0:22:04 > 0:22:07you know there's something strange happening.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11I hate to tell you, Marti, but you don't need to be famous
0:22:11 > 0:22:14to have your clothes stole off the line in Clydebank, or stolen.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17That's right, it was Wet Wet Wet from a report by Louise Bachelor
0:22:17 > 0:22:19on Reporting Scotland in 1987.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Original member Tommy Cunningham said,
0:22:21 > 0:22:23"It was either crime, the dole or music,"
0:22:23 > 0:22:25and the jury is still out on which they chose.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31APPLAUSE
0:22:31 > 0:22:34As the bells draw nearer, fittingly our last round is called
0:22:34 > 0:22:37First Footing, where we raid the archive to find the earliest
0:22:37 > 0:22:40television appearances of some of our biggest TV stars.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Team Ronni, here's a young David Tennant on Dramarama
0:22:44 > 0:22:48called The Secret Of Croftmore, made by STV in 1988.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Still waiting for the council to tarmac the road, eh?
0:22:52 > 0:22:56- You remember these two? - I do, of course. How are you both?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59- Very well, thank you, Aunt Jean. - BLEEP
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Any suggestions on David's first line?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04He's definitely saying,
0:23:04 > 0:23:07"Very soon I'm going to be too famous to talk to any of you."
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Is he saying, "I haven't decided
0:23:10 > 0:23:13"whether to become David Tennant or Tilda Swinton"?
0:23:13 > 0:23:15It could have gone either way at that point!
0:23:15 > 0:23:17At that point, I think he was at a crossroads.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Let's find out what he said.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20I'm fine, thank you.
0:23:20 > 0:23:25Oh! And the Scottish BAFTA goes to David Tennant,
0:23:25 > 0:23:29proving there the old acting adage, "Less is less."
0:23:31 > 0:23:33For Sanjeev's team, slightly different.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36This is The Big Break on STV, a talent show from 1988.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40Who do you think is about to perform?
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Let's now meet our first contestant.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45She's only 14 years of age and she comes from Anstruther in Fife.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48BACKING TRACK PLAYS "VENUS" BY SHOCKING BLUE
0:23:57 > 0:23:58So, who might that be?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Well, see the give-away is, it's...there's only ever been
0:24:01 > 0:24:04one famous person from Anstruther, so the answer is Robert Mugabe.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08I genuinely know the answer,
0:24:08 > 0:24:11so I'm not going to beat around the bush, cos I'm proud that I know this,
0:24:11 > 0:24:13because this is a woman I admire deeply, and it's Edith Bowman.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17- It's Edith Bowman.- Edith Bowman, you reckon. Let's find out, Susan.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20# A goddess on a mountain top
0:24:20 > 0:24:24# Was burning like a silver flame
0:24:24 > 0:24:27# The summit of beauty and love
0:24:27 > 0:24:29# And Venus was her name
0:24:31 > 0:24:33# She's got it
0:24:33 > 0:24:36# Yeah, baby, she's got it. #
0:24:36 > 0:24:38APPLAUSE
0:24:41 > 0:24:43It is indeed Edith Bowman.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Not only has she got it, there seems to be no known cure,
0:24:45 > 0:24:49and it's attacking her central nervous system.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Susan, how did you first come across that?
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I remember someone sent me the link once, because she is...
0:24:54 > 0:24:57she's a wonderful and quite glamorous lady, I would say,
0:24:57 > 0:24:59and very cool. And the fact that she, like most of us,
0:24:59 > 0:25:02has an embarrassing past in the 1980s
0:25:02 > 0:25:04where we dressed like that in puffball skirts
0:25:04 > 0:25:08and tried to be in a talent show, I thought it was lovely.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11I've never worn a puffball skirt in my life!
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Yet.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Semolina Zavaroni.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Ronni's team, another Dramarama here,
0:25:25 > 0:25:29this time called The Macrame Man, made in 1988 by STV.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Unfortunately, it wasn't the largest of roles,
0:25:31 > 0:25:33and the appearance is a bit fleeting,
0:25:33 > 0:25:37but I want to know if you can tell me who plays the lad running away.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41GLASS SHATTERS
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Right, I've caught you at it now,
0:25:43 > 0:25:45I'm phoning the paper shop to report you!
0:25:45 > 0:25:48- You wouldnae dare!- You just see if I will, ya cheeky midden!
0:25:50 > 0:25:54Is he running away from fear of that perm?
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Is it Stephen Hawking?
0:26:00 > 0:26:04There is the still, from 1988.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Is it a Proclaimer?
0:26:06 > 0:26:08- Often mistaken for one. - Frankie Boyle!
0:26:08 > 0:26:10- It's not Frankie, is it? - Shut up!
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Frankie Boyle, it is indeed!
0:26:14 > 0:26:17It was, of course, Frankie Boyle, whose first words on TV were,
0:26:17 > 0:26:19"You wouldnae dare!"
0:26:19 > 0:26:22A line he's used many times in comedy clubs ever since.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Sanjeev's team, we've got a beautiful tune
0:26:26 > 0:26:28from STV's A Touch Of Music for you,
0:26:28 > 0:26:31a showcase for young musical talent in Scotland.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34From 1987, this is presented by Kay Duncan.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Ewan's been playing the horn since he was nine.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40He also plays the drums in the school pipe band
0:26:40 > 0:26:42and the electric and acoustic guitar.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01If I may...
0:27:01 > 0:27:04- You may.- If I may, Ewan "Big Mac" Gregor.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:09 > 0:27:12You're absolutely right, it was indeed Ewan McGregor.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15What I want to know, though, is what was the tune?
0:27:15 > 0:27:17I would say Mozart or Beethoven or...
0:27:17 > 0:27:20- Strawberry Switchblade. - ..Strawberry Switchblade
0:27:20 > 0:27:23or one of the above or someone German or Austrian or French.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26- Am I nearly there, Fred? - You're getting warmer all the time.
0:27:26 > 0:27:31- Italian. British. Irish.- No, it's European.- I think it was Mozart.
0:27:31 > 0:27:32You think it was Mozart?
0:27:32 > 0:27:36It was indeed Mozart's Horn Concerto No 4 in E Flat Major.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Not that Ewan knew.
0:27:39 > 0:27:43In the film Brassed Off, Ewan plays the horn note-perfectly which,
0:27:43 > 0:27:47after watching that performance, proves what a brilliant actor he is.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51And on that note, we find ourselves at the end of our celebrations
0:27:51 > 0:27:53of Scots On The Box.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Our two teams have both demonstrated outstanding knowledge
0:27:55 > 0:27:59of their TV heritage, but, like an episode of Still Game,
0:27:59 > 0:28:02there can only be one victor, and tonight's winners are...
0:28:02 > 0:28:03Team Sanjeev!
0:28:03 > 0:28:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:11 > 0:28:15Sanjeev, there is your magnificent Scots On The Box trophy.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18A huge thank you to all my guests, Ronni, Alex and Mark,
0:28:18 > 0:28:21and Sanjeev, Susan and Neil Oliver Oil.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Thank you at home for watching.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25Do stay tuned to BBC Scotland
0:28:25 > 0:28:28all the way through to the bells and beyond.
0:28:28 > 0:28:29On behalf of everyone here in the studio,
0:28:29 > 0:28:33I'll take this opportunity to wish you all a very happy new year.
0:28:33 > 0:28:34Good night.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:46 > 0:28:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:57 > 0:28:58Jackie Bird's Custard.