0:00:08 > 0:00:13Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the celebrity showbiz quiz, Shooting Stars.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16And here are your hosts for this evening,
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26VIC AND BOB: # We're gonna tell you a secret tonight
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# Henry VIII was capable of flight
0:00:29 > 0:00:32# One night after sex He grew some wings
0:00:32 > 0:00:35# Flying round his bedroom pissing on things
0:00:35 > 0:00:38BOTH: # There he goes
0:00:39 > 0:00:41# Flying low
0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Flying slow
0:00:44 > 0:00:47# Smoking a pipe
0:00:47 > 0:00:51# Run for your life
0:00:51 > 0:00:54# Life!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57# Life!
0:00:57 > 0:01:00# Henry VIII was capable of flight
0:01:00 > 0:01:06# Henry VIII was ca-pa-ble of flight!
0:01:08 > 0:01:16# So come along and let's start Shooting Stars! #
0:01:23 > 0:01:27Plip, plop, piddle, drop - it's Alexa Chung!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Chris "Mr Erotica" Packham!
0:01:37 > 0:01:45Miss Congestion Charge 2006, it's Ulrika-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka!
0:01:47 > 0:01:52The Jack Dee Sausages and Sunshine Kids' Dance Club!
0:01:56 > 0:02:00Mark "The Oaf" Benton!
0:02:03 > 0:02:09Tess she's once, twice, three times a Daly!
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Good evening. Welcome Team A, Team B.
0:02:19 > 0:02:24- We're acutely aware that there's no show without him, that's Angelos. - Really.- No show without him,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27but tonight he's asked me to give
0:02:27 > 0:02:29a great, big entrance for him,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32to build it up because he's got a very special performance tonight.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- What's he going to do? - I don't know, Vic.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- He's got a special performance... - What's he going to do?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40- I don't know, Vic. It's a surprise. - Uh-huh.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43He says it's going to be blood-curdling.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47- A very special...- I just want to know whether I should get my camera out.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Well, it's probably the safest thing, Vic.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52- Have you got a camera?- No.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57So, ladies and gentlemen, he's promised something spectacular.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Something memorable.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Please welcome onto this stage,
0:03:02 > 0:03:06Mr Angelos Epithemiou!
0:03:13 > 0:03:17# Hey! One man One goal
0:03:19 > 0:03:21# One mission
0:03:21 > 0:03:25# One heart One soul
0:03:27 > 0:03:30# Just one solution. #
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- So, Angelos.- Hmm?
0:03:32 > 0:03:36What did you want the big entrance for? What was the big performance you promised?
0:03:38 > 0:03:40I can't remember.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44It's nice to see you anyway. What have you been up to?
0:03:44 > 0:03:48I've been out in that Ash... Ashtanishtan.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Sorry?
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Ash... Ashashish... Ashtanishtan.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Afghanistan. Afghanistan.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Who? Afghanistan, that's it. I've been out there.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58I've been entertaining the troops,
0:03:58 > 0:04:02so I'm do my comedy and all that sort of carry on, really.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06- How did it go, Angelos? - I struggled, I'll be honest with you.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10But I'm not surprised.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13My stuff was never going to go down well with the Taliban.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15LAUGHTER
0:04:19 > 0:04:23First round, first contestant - Mark.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Lovely Mark Benton, ladies and gentlemen.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30What a treat, ladies and gentlemen.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35You'll probably know him from Early Doors, Booze Cruise, Land Girls
0:04:35 > 0:04:38and many other things, but what I wanted to ask you, Mark, first up,
0:04:38 > 0:04:42is what is the correct way to address you?
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Is it bulbous or rotund?
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Which do you... which do you prefer?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53I'd go with bulbous!
0:04:53 > 0:04:54Bulbous Benton!
0:04:56 > 0:04:59It's actually a bit of a sad story, Mark,
0:04:59 > 0:05:03but you once tried to commit suicide, didn't you?
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Well, that's really sad. I've got a big grin on my face.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- I don't know why you're laughing. - You tried to commit suicide
0:05:09 > 0:05:12and you jumped out of a 15-storey building
0:05:12 > 0:05:16and you just bounced back up on to the ledge!
0:05:16 > 0:05:17LAUGHTER
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Mark, first question is for you.
0:05:22 > 0:05:27True or false - half the money raised by Comic Relief
0:05:27 > 0:05:31goes to Jack Dee to spend on prostitutes.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33True or false?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36True.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39True, you say. Lets find out. Jack?
0:05:39 > 0:05:40What am I going to say?
0:05:40 > 0:05:42I'm not going to admit to it if it is true, am I?
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Of course it's false. That would be 35 million quid a year.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50I don't spend anything like that.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Right, Chris, you like bats, don't you?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I do. I have the privilege
0:05:58 > 0:06:02of being the president of the Bat Conservation Trust.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04I've got a lot of bats in my garden and I wondered
0:06:04 > 0:06:06if you might help me.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08How would I go about killing them?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14You could use a tennis bat or a cricket bat.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- Is that the best way of doing it? - It's the most entertaining, yeah.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I've used nitro-glycerine,
0:06:19 > 0:06:21and to be honest, it ruined my garden.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- I'll tell you what I use, Vic. - What?- Them Chinese stars.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29They come out at night and I go...
0:06:32 > 0:06:36I've got some nice otters at the river at the end of the garden
0:06:36 > 0:06:37and I was trying to get rid of them.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41So I watched Tarka the Otter and I used a spade on one of them,
0:06:41 > 0:06:44but I just caught a glance at it. It's one-eyed like that.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48It wanders round like that. It looks quite funny so I'll keep that one.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Anyway, your question is, Chris -
0:06:54 > 0:06:56true or false - all ravens are Goths.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02- True.- Is it true?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- It is true, yeah. - If he says so, Vic, it's true.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- I'm giving him a point for that. - Well done, Chris, thank you.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Ulrika.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- Lovely to see you... - Ooh, look at that.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22That's a Ryvita passing through her small intestine.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Ulrika, my angel, my sweet, sweet darling,
0:07:29 > 0:07:32have you got a penny, have you got a farthing
0:07:32 > 0:07:36to put in the meter of my heart?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38On your desire, my chances hang,
0:07:38 > 0:07:42will you and I ever get to bang?
0:07:47 > 0:07:50That's sweet. What's bang?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53What's a bang? I'll show you.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56No way, Angelos! You want a question, Ulrika?
0:07:56 > 0:07:58True or false -
0:07:58 > 0:08:03Cheryl Cole's music is not as entertaining as her divorce.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05True or false?
0:08:11 > 0:08:14It's true, it's not as entertaining as her divorce.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17It's false, Ulrika, sorry.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20They're both equally as haunting.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- Sorry.- Jack!
0:08:24 > 0:08:28With your face like an undiluted boff.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32With your face like a fudge magnet.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Like an explosion...
0:08:36 > 0:08:38on a shit farm.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Jack. Jack, my man, what's up?
0:08:54 > 0:08:58How can you criticise me when you turn up looking like that?
0:08:58 > 0:09:02You look like something that's crawled out of Cliff Richard's sponge bag.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- Alexa Chung, thank you so much for coming.- Hello.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09Looking beautiful over there.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Alexa, do people, do fellas, hit on you all the time,
0:09:13 > 0:09:16like they used to with Ulrika before her accident?
0:09:23 > 0:09:29We've got a very special treat for you tonight. Something to get you in the mood for the...
0:09:29 > 0:09:30Ooh!
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Alexa, it's something a little bit special.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38His name's Archie Andrews, he's a friend of the show
0:09:38 > 0:09:41and he's got a little something
0:09:41 > 0:09:44just to get you in the mood.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52I'm going to have nightmares about this!
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Literally, this is a nightmare.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56It's like a small-scale nightmare.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Archie Andrews!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10What it was, Alexa,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13it's just a little explosion to get you in the mood,
0:10:13 > 0:10:17because everyone knows, Mark, that ladies like little explosions.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Alexa, enough of that, let's give you a question.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24Have a look at your monitor, Alexa, and can you name the celebrity baby?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Have look at the photo. Who is the celebrity baby?
0:10:29 > 0:10:34- It's a bonnie baby competition. - OK, it's a beautiful baby.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Is it you, Bob, as a baby?
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- Is that your answer, Alexa?- Yeah, that's my answer.- Let's find out.
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Mick Jagger.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Unlucky, Alexa.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Tess.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Tess.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Tess, ho-ho!
0:11:01 > 0:11:03# You're a lady!
0:11:03 > 0:11:06# Woah-oh-woah-oh-woah You're a lady!
0:11:06 > 0:11:13# Roast beef, carrots and gravy! And the lady is mine! #
0:11:17 > 0:11:22- Did you enjoy that, Tess?- Maybe put a bit of Yorkshire pudding in there.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26I can do Yorkshire pudding for you and now we're going out with each other,
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Yorkshire pudding is yours.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30And look, I'm going to pump a lot of money into, I don't know,
0:11:30 > 0:11:34maybe getting you some nice dresses that are more your age.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36LAUGHTER
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Get rid of the syrup and get a nice punky hairdo.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Anyway, Tess. True or false - Stephen Fry's so clever
0:11:47 > 0:11:51he doesn't need to wear 3D glasses when he watches a 3D film.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52True.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56It's false. He doesn't watch films, he just reads books.
0:11:58 > 0:12:04That's the end of the first round so, Angelos, what are the scores?
0:12:04 > 0:12:06DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:19 > 0:12:22MUSIC STOPS
0:12:22 > 0:12:26- That's a nice ring, Angelos. - 'Big shout out to the whole crew!'
0:12:29 > 0:12:34Angelos, are you still doing any campaigns?
0:12:34 > 0:12:37I was doing one - save the rainforest.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40But, you know, if the weather's going to be this good,
0:12:40 > 0:12:41they can keep chopping it down.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48- Jack's got five, Ulrika's got nothing.- What?!
0:12:56 > 0:12:58The next round is the Clips round.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- Give kindly, sir.- Sorry?
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- Give kindly to the little boy, sir. - Shut up.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- Yes...- Give kindly, sir.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08What? I'm not giving... One - I haven't got any change.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10And two - I don't want to. All right?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- Yes...- Give kindly, sir.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Give kindly to the little boy, sir.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18All right, all right, Vic.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21- Give kindly, sir.- There you are.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24How much did he put in, Peter?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Dunno, it felt a bit light.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30- How much did you put in there? - Two quid.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34- He says he put two pound in. - Bollocks!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36It's more like two pence.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Mate, how old are you anyway?- I'm 45. What's it got to do with you?
0:13:39 > 0:13:43- Yeah, what's it got to do with you, like?- I'm only saying.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Right. I'll see you later, Pete, round by the bins.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48See you, Vic.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- See you.- Yeah, I'll see you, Vic.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52- Yeah, see you, Pete. - Yeah, see you, Vic.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54- Yeah, no, you go first. - No, you go first.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56No, you go first.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59See you, Pete. Oh, he's gone.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:14:05 > 0:14:08That's incredible!
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Next round is the Clips round.
0:14:13 > 0:14:18We're going to show both teams a clip. Watch very carefully because the question follows.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21It's about a 1970s Facebook.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Hello? Hello?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Hello, I'm Chris.
0:14:46 > 0:14:51I like fishing, smoking and kung fu.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56Hi, I'm Mike. I like kung fu and smoking.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- Would you like to join my group? - Yes.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07- Would you like to meet some other strangers?- Yes.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Hi. My name is Derek.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16I'm 15 years old and I like the Bay City Rollers.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24I think you want that group over there, Derek.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Would you like to come to a private room and have a chat?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- ROFL.- LOL.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35That bloke wasn't 15.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Haha. X.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Haha. X. Got to go.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Byeeeeeee.
0:15:49 > 0:15:55An early attempt there in the 1970s to get Facebook off the ground.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58I'll go to you first, Team B, and here's the question.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Can you tell me,
0:16:00 > 0:16:06what is the average number of friends that each Facebook user has?
0:16:06 > 0:16:10The average number of friends that each Facebook user has.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Alexa?
0:16:11 > 0:16:13567.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- 567?- Yeah.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18- MARK: 500.- 500?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20- Mark, are you on Facebook? - I am.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Have you got a friend?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24I've got about three or four.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- What are you going to say, Ulrika? - 500?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- 500.- Yeah.
0:16:28 > 0:16:33How many do you think is the average number of friends on a Facebook?
0:16:33 > 0:16:34165.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Oooh!
0:16:36 > 0:16:40The actual average number of friends that each Facebook user has is...
0:16:40 > 0:16:43130.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Jack!
0:16:45 > 0:16:47He is the nearest.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50It's the new thing!
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Let's find out the scores, but more importantly,
0:16:54 > 0:16:57let's find out what's in Angelos's bag!
0:17:00 > 0:17:04# What's in your bag Angelos?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- # Tell us what's in your bag - You bastard
0:17:07 > 0:17:10# A pair of gloves and some marmalade
0:17:10 > 0:17:14# And a suicidal maid. #
0:17:14 > 0:17:15Nice bag.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21Poor cow.
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Scores, Angelos.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Right, so, scores - Jack's got six,
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Ulrika's still got nothing, I'm afraid.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Come on, Ulrika!
0:17:35 > 0:17:38The next round... What's that you're fiddling with?
0:17:38 > 0:17:42I've got a brand new thing - it's called the iPad.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Yeah? I know the iPad.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49It's really cool.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55You're still buying stuff off that kangaroo.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56How many times do I have to tell you?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59It's not legitimate stuff. You didn't buy anything else, did you?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- I haven't bought anything, that's all I bought.- That's good.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05If you've learned your lesson, I'm happy. The next round...
0:18:05 > 0:18:08- Bob, can I take your picture? - Yeah, go on then.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13- That's not going to work, is it? - Why?
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Because it isn't turned on.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Try to keep the camera still, like.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27- Is it a good one?- I think it's one of your best, yeah.- Nice one!
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Next round is the Dove round.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Can we ask all of our guests to help us beckon down
0:18:33 > 0:18:35the beautiful, plump Dove From Above.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Surely she will come. Coo!
0:18:38 > 0:18:43COOING
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Yeah, sexy bird.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51First choice goes to you, Chris.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55I'll take Ta-dah.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- Ta-dah.- Ta-dah.- Right, well, Ta-dah.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02- Now then, that is Angelos's Variety Showcase.- Nice.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Quick change.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21DRUM ROLL
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Quick change.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28DRUM ROLL
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Quick change.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36DRUM ROLL
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Quick change.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50CHA-CHA MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:00 > 0:20:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Ooh!
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Chris.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- That was exciting, wasn't it? - It was very exciting.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Now, you may have noticed that he knocked
0:20:23 > 0:20:26a robin into a bowl of milk towards the end of that performance.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29I noticed that. Brilliant.
0:20:29 > 0:20:30For you, the question is,
0:20:30 > 0:20:36can you imitate the sweet, sweet song of the robin?
0:20:36 > 0:20:41It's quite tricky because it's a variable, melodic warble.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Is it?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44HE WHISTLES
0:20:44 > 0:20:45HE WHISTLES BACK
0:20:45 > 0:20:47THEY WHISTLE BACK AND FORTH
0:20:50 > 0:20:52You dirty sod.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57How dare you. How dare you!
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- What did he say? - I couldn't repeat it.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- I want to know what he said though. - It was filthy!
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- Well done, you get a point for that. - Well done, Chris.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07APPLAUSE
0:21:09 > 0:21:15Mark, your turn to choose a category from the Dove From Above.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- I would like Bond, please.- Bond.
0:21:18 > 0:21:23Bond - it's a celebrity question. A question from a celebrity.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25This week it's Roger Moore. Take a look at your monitor
0:21:25 > 0:21:28and he's going to ask you the question.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Hi, I'm Roger Moore.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33I done stuff like The Saint.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35I done stuff like Bond.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37My wife Kiki Moore does the cooking,
0:21:37 > 0:21:39but can you tell me,
0:21:39 > 0:21:43what is my wife Kiki's favourite dish?
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Roger Moore's wife, Kiki - what is her favourite dish?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49She's Swedish.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Bierwurst.
0:21:52 > 0:21:53Bierwurst?
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- Big sausage.- Big sausage.- Yeah.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01A big German sausage.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03- That's your answer?- Yeah.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Let's find out.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09No, you're miles away. The answer is, of course,
0:22:09 > 0:22:13lamb passanda.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17How did you not get that?
0:22:17 > 0:22:18Lamb passanda!
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Tess, pick a category from the Dove.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Do you know I think I'll have Jazz.
0:22:25 > 0:22:30- Jazz.- That is a good choice because that's the club singer question.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32My colleague, Mr Reeves, who should be...
0:22:32 > 0:22:35CHEERING
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Is going to sing a song in the club style.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41Tess, you've got to guess what song it is he's singing. Off you go.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44DRUM MACHINE/UNINTELLIGIBLE SINGING
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Did you get it?
0:22:59 > 0:23:00APPLAUSE
0:23:03 > 0:23:05What song is he singing, Tess?
0:23:05 > 0:23:07It was something by Tinie Tempah,
0:23:07 > 0:23:10- but I can't remember the name of the song.- Who?
0:23:10 > 0:23:13- Tinie Tempah.- No.- Oh.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15It was If You Leave Me Now, by Chicago.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18If You Leave Me Now, by Chicago.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Let's hear that song sung properly
0:23:21 > 0:23:23by a Lancashire bus conductor.
0:23:27 > 0:23:33# If you leave me now You take away the very heart of me
0:23:33 > 0:23:37# Oh hey-hey-hey-ho Baby please don't go
0:23:37 > 0:23:40# You take away the very heart of me Ho-hoy!
0:23:40 > 0:23:45# Wa-ha-ho-ho-hey Baby please don't go
0:23:45 > 0:23:49# Don't go, don't go Don't go! #
0:23:49 > 0:23:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:58 > 0:24:02Sung in the style of a Lancashire bus conductor.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06I say - bloody good.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- Bloody marvellous. - How bloody good was that?
0:24:09 > 0:24:11- Bloody marvellous.- Bloody good.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16That's the end of the Dove round, so let's say farewell to the Dove
0:24:16 > 0:24:19and say, what are the scores, Angelos?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Jack's got seven, Ulrika's got one.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Whoo!
0:24:24 > 0:24:25We're getting there.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27Wiping the board.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Alexa? Alexa! Hello, Alexa.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Yeah.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Did you call me last night?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38I sent you that fax.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41You sent me that fax. Well, can you please stop it, OK?
0:24:41 > 0:24:45We had that one night and, you know, we both agreed, you was rubbish. OK?
0:24:47 > 0:24:50You didn't know what you was doing.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Maybe it was nerves, we'll never know,
0:24:53 > 0:24:55because it won't be happening again, OK?
0:24:55 > 0:25:00Ulrika's my girl and although she's on the turn, she's gotten...
0:25:02 > 0:25:06She has got... She's got a lot of experience.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12She's been with thousands of blokes.
0:25:12 > 0:25:13And that's the sort of woman I like.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Time for the Quick-fire round.
0:25:17 > 0:25:18We don't know how much time we've got -
0:25:18 > 0:25:19when the time's up, you'll hear this noise.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22You got some balls saying that to me!
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Fingers on the buzzers.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30True or false - Charlie Sheen is now illegal in over 17 countries.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32BUZZER
0:25:32 > 0:25:35- That is Packham.- It's true.- It is true. Well done, Chris.
0:25:35 > 0:25:40True or false - the Titanic was sunk by a huge iceberg lettuce.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42BUZZER
0:25:42 > 0:25:44- Jonsson.- False.- It's true.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48Question - Who appointed Archbishop Tutu?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50- BUZZER - And that is Dee.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54- Archbishop You-you.- No. Pope One-one.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Name a sexy man.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- BUZZER - Ulrika.
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Sting.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03No! It was Dickinson, of course.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05You got some balls saying that to me!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07That's the end of the Quick-fire round,
0:26:07 > 0:26:09so what are the final scores, Angelos?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11This week's winner is Jack!
0:26:11 > 0:26:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Well done, Jack. Well done, Jack.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Jack, as the winning captain it falls to you to decide
0:26:22 > 0:26:25which of your team-mates will take tonight's final challenge.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29- Who's it going to be?- Bob, I think it has to be Tess tonight.- Ooh!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32- Tess.- Tess.- Come and join me for tonight's final challenge.
0:26:35 > 0:26:40Tess, come over. Stand there. Stand facing the bed.
0:26:40 > 0:26:45Now, Tess, you're going to be subjected to an exorcism,
0:26:45 > 0:26:47just in case you are haunted.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52You need a priest. Ah, here he is. Here is the priest.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56All right, Tess.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Give me the details of the prize, please.
0:26:59 > 0:27:00Yes, take a look at this bright red sports car.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02There's a picture of it over there.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05It goes fast, goes about 5,000 miles an hour.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07You could win a night out
0:27:07 > 0:27:10with the owner of that car and there he is there.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14If you could get on the bed.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Classic Exorcist style.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19She may not be haunted, but if she is,
0:27:19 > 0:27:23Father David here, will be sure to get rid of all those spooks.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26David, this is my first exorcism.
0:27:26 > 0:27:27I'm really spooked.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31This isn't showbiz - exorcism is a serious business.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35- Bring the lights down low.- Bring the lights down so the devil can dance.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37The bed's moving!
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Start the exorcism.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Devil, demon,
0:27:41 > 0:27:44I suggest that you get out of this lady
0:27:44 > 0:27:45and clear off to a nearby point.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49What's happening? Get out!
0:27:49 > 0:27:53No, get out of her! Get off of her!
0:27:55 > 0:27:59- Here comes a Jumbo Jet.- That's a Jumbo Jet!- It's a 747.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01- Here comes the demon! - It's coming out.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Here it comes, here it comes.
0:28:04 > 0:28:09It's a biscuit. Get away with you!
0:28:11 > 0:28:13There goes the demon.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16We have dealt with that demon before, haven't we, David?
0:28:16 > 0:28:18She lasted,
0:28:18 > 0:28:22so she wins a date with that fella with Tar written on his bucket.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25So it's goodbye from Shooting Stars!
0:28:28 > 0:28:33Now, for you people at home, an exorcism is a very serious thing.
0:28:33 > 0:28:37Don't attempt to perform one without Father David.
0:28:37 > 0:28:40- Good night from Shooting Stars. - Good night from Shooting Stars.
0:28:45 > 0:28:50# Goodbye from Shooting Stars Goodbye from Shooting Stars
0:28:50 > 0:28:53# Goodbye from Shooting Stars. #
0:28:53 > 0:28:54Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:54 > 0:28:57E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk