0:00:08 > 0:00:12Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the celebrity showbiz quiz Shooting Stars.
0:00:12 > 0:00:17Here are your hosts for this evening, Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# He's a time wolf
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# He stops time with his eyes
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# Time wolf
0:00:29 > 0:00:32# Time wolf, he got no family ties
0:00:32 > 0:00:33# Time wolf
0:00:35 > 0:00:37# I'm all alone
0:00:37 > 0:00:40# Who did this to me?
0:00:40 > 0:00:47# It was me, I put chemicals in his dog food, do you see?
0:00:47 > 0:00:48# Time wolf
0:00:48 > 0:00:50# All the ladies are scared
0:00:50 > 0:00:51# Time wolf
0:00:51 > 0:00:57# No-one is prepared for the startling stare of the time wolf
0:00:57 > 0:01:03# So come along and let the Shooting Stars
0:01:03 > 0:01:05# I want more and I want more #
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Yeah!
0:01:07 > 0:01:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Welcome to Shooting Stars, and introducing
0:01:13 > 0:01:18he-don't-like-cricket- he-plays-it Jimmy Anderson!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Jake "the Argonaut" Wood.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:27 > 0:01:33Ulrika-ka-ka-ka-ka-can you smell the Norse?
0:01:33 > 0:01:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:35 > 0:01:38The Jack Dee Fruit Bonbons
0:01:38 > 0:01:42Kiddy Buttercup Show. LAUGHTER
0:01:42 > 0:01:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:43 > 0:01:49And introducing Ancient Greek organist, Vangelis!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Hot, horny horticulturalist.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57LAUGHTER
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Gabby Logan.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00Hello.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Oovavo!
0:02:04 > 0:02:05Yeah!
0:02:05 > 0:02:11Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, that was an extract from our West End musical Time Wolf.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12Time Wolf. It's just an extract.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15The actual show is twice that length.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Literally, twice that length.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20There's somebody missing. We can't proceed without him.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24He's the man who gives us the scores, it's Angelos!
0:02:24 > 0:02:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:32 > 0:02:34FUNKY MUSIC
0:02:34 > 0:02:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Lovely. Lovely stuff. Lovely stuff.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Nice to see you. Looking good.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Yeah, yeah, keeping fit, keeping fit.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56I've been down the leisure centre, finally got my swimming badges.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57Thank you, yes.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00I got, um, I Love Swimming
0:03:00 > 0:03:03and Swimming Is Cool.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07What are you doing down the swimming pool?
0:03:07 > 0:03:10I just go down there to look at the birds.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14- I don't like the sound of that. - No, it's mucky, I'll be honest.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Right, Jake. Jake Wood, Max Branning.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Jake, how do you get your hair to stay like that?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24LAUGHTER Mad, innit?
0:03:24 > 0:03:30I've just got to ask you, do you look like that because your mother was frightened by a gypsy?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32LAUGHTER
0:03:34 > 0:03:35I shouldn't, then.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38I know how your temperament can be.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40LAUGHTER
0:03:40 > 0:03:44Jake, true or false, Torvill and Dean can't walk properly on land.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46LAUGHTER
0:03:46 > 0:03:48True or false?
0:03:48 > 0:03:52- True.- You're saying it's true. Well, actually, one can and one can't.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57I've got the proof here. That's Torvill pushing Dean
0:03:57 > 0:03:59in the Dean Barrow.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Cos she can, but he can't.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04LAUGHTER
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Who've you got over 'ere?
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Over 'ere, I've got Team B.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Jimmy, thanks for coming, Jimmy, England fast bowler.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14When you bowl really fast ones in the nets do some of the batsmen say,
0:04:14 > 0:04:17"OI, WHAT YOU DOIN', JIMMY?! SLOW DOWN A BIT!"
0:04:17 > 0:04:18LAUGHTER
0:04:18 > 0:04:21"WHERE'D THAT COME FROM, JIMMY?! HECK!"
0:04:21 > 0:04:22LAUGHTER
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Is that what they say? - Uncanny, just like that.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28I've a question, and you're lucky, actually,
0:04:28 > 0:04:31cos your question's going to be delivered by Archie Andrews.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- He's a new friend of the show. - Oh, he's a lovely friend of ours.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37LAUGHTER
0:04:37 > 0:04:39And here's Archie with the question.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53That's it, Archie.
0:04:53 > 0:04:58You take the question. On the other side, there's a question for you to read out, Jimmy.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Jimmy, if the question's on there, you can read it out yourself.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06I'm not reading that.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Jimmy, you'll see the question there, you can read it out yourself.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16What?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Oh, we forgot to tell you, Archie is a pornography courier.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22I'll read it for you if you want, Jimmy.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Yeah, I'd prefer that, yeah.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Oh, Jesus!
0:05:29 > 0:05:31True or false, here's your question,
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Jimmy, true or false, Cilla's Black.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42- It's false.- It is false. Surprise, surprise, she's white.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Well done, Jimmy.
0:05:46 > 0:05:51Jack, with your face like a sailor's chodding brush.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53LAUGHTER
0:05:53 > 0:05:57With your face like an explosion in a bullshit factory.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58LAUGHTER
0:05:58 > 0:06:01I don't have to put up with this from you.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- You don't have to, but you are. - Why have you come dressed as Ulrika?
0:06:05 > 0:06:09You look like a pile of fire-damaged bunting.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12- Who, me?- You're a disgrace.
0:06:12 > 0:06:17- I don't know how you could. - You're a disgrace to television and light entertainment.
0:06:17 > 0:06:22With your face like an Italian fart rinser, how can you come back at me like that?
0:06:22 > 0:06:23LAUGHTER
0:06:23 > 0:06:28I'll give you a question anyway. True or false, The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
0:06:28 > 0:06:31was the original name of the Sugababes.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33LAUGHTER
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Twue or false.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Well, I'd say it's true.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42It's false. They were originally called Bedknob And Broomstick.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Dammit, you were so close(!)
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- Ulrika. - She looks a bit like Emily Bronte. - She does, doesn't she?
0:06:53 > 0:06:55She looks certainly as old as Emily Bronte.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58A Brontesaurus.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Do you want a question, Ulrika?
0:07:00 > 0:07:04True or false, Kerry Cat-ona doesn't actually own a cat.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:07:11 > 0:07:13True or false, Ulrika.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14False.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16It's false, Ulrika. She's a liar.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Just like Minnie Driver, who actually drives a Fiat Panda.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22LAUGHTER
0:07:22 > 0:07:26- I tell you, Ulrika, when's your book coming out?- Oh, in September.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30- September?- Mm.- What's it called? - Um...- Up The Duff?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32LAUGHTER
0:07:32 > 0:07:33The Big Pram.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36No, what's it called, Ulrika?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Money For Old Rope.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40LAUGHTER
0:07:40 > 0:07:42So, Gabby!
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Gabby!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Gabby!
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Now that we're going out with each other, you'll be moving into my flat.
0:07:55 > 0:08:01I'll take you out, get you some decent clothes, and a nice, modern haircut.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05So come with me, I've got a special treat for you.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Ooh, a special treat for Gabby.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Er, just sit on this chair here.
0:08:10 > 0:08:11He likes you, Gabby.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15And now, do you know those, um, fish manicures?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Do you mean a fish pedicure?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Er, fish, yeah, pedicure.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23Oh, no! I'll kill them!
0:08:24 > 0:08:27They're all right. They're all right. They're all right.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29That's it, there we are.
0:08:29 > 0:08:34Just let the fish do their work, they'll clean your shoes up nicely.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35LAUGHTER
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Is that all right? Did you enjoy yourself? Let's have a look.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Well, they've nibbled your shoes nice and clean, haven't they?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48There we are, Gabby.
0:08:48 > 0:08:53So you can look forward to a life of your shoes being nibbled by trout.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57So, Gabby, did you enjoy yourself?
0:08:57 > 0:08:58It was lovely, thank you.
0:08:58 > 0:09:04- That's the sort of life you're looking forward to with me. - He likes you, Gabby.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05APPLAUSE
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Right, Gabby, name an evil bird.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11An evil bird.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14A crow.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18A crow, you say. The answer, I'm afraid, is a Stalin.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19LAUGHTER
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Vangelis, good evening to you.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27For people who don't remember Vangelis,
0:09:27 > 0:09:32he wrote and played the music for Chariots Of Fire and won an Oscar for that.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Do you ever get sick of the Chariots Of Fire?
0:09:35 > 0:09:39- No.- No? Perfectly happy to talk about that.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Of course, you're still working, Vangelis,
0:09:42 > 0:09:48and you've agreed, which is a real treat, to premier a track off your new album tonight.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Right, but you're just going to play one...
0:09:52 > 0:09:54It's brutal.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57You like?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Yeah? Sorry, Ulrika.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03OK, Vangelis, so if you're ready...
0:10:03 > 0:10:08If you're ready, Vangelis, would you like to play your new track?
0:10:09 > 0:10:11ONE LONG DESCENDING NOTE
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Vangelis's new track.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- Very good.- Um, you've worked really hard on that, yeah?
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Question for you, Vangelis, true or false question.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41ANOTHER SOUND, ASCENDING THIS TIME
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Yeah, it's really nice. Very nice.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56True or false, Vangelis,
0:10:56 > 0:11:02you can fit 125,000 songs on Stephen Hawking.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03LAUGHTER
0:11:05 > 0:11:06True.
0:11:06 > 0:11:11It is true, Vangelis. And interestingly, he has a little tin pot under his chair
0:11:11 > 0:11:13to catch his podcasts.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15LAUGHTER
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Well done, Vangelis.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19That's the end of the opening round,
0:11:19 > 0:11:22so what are the scores, Angelos?
0:11:23 > 0:11:24ELECTRONIC MUSIC
0:11:29 > 0:11:31THUDDING BEAT
0:11:31 > 0:11:33It's 22.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Up she goes.
0:11:36 > 0:11:37AUDIENCE CLAPS IN TIME
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Whoa! Whoa! Whoa.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Angelos!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Spectacular. What have you been doing?
0:11:53 > 0:11:58Car maintenance in Mali, shipped her down to Mexico and pimped her up.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Now I just sit back and ride her like a bitch.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03LAUGHTER
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- So what are the scores? - 'Ey?- What's the scores?
0:12:06 > 0:12:09RECORD: DJ! DJ! DJ! DJ!
0:12:09 > 0:12:11WOMAN SINGS
0:12:11 > 0:12:14(SEXY FEMALE) Come on, come on, come on.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16(MAN) Dictionary.
0:12:16 > 0:12:17LAUGHTER
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Er, excuse me?
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- Dictionary.- Er, I'm sorry? - Dictionary.- (MUMBLES)
0:12:21 > 0:12:23- Dictionary.- Necessary. - Dictionary.- Ictionary.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- Dictionary.- Shishionary. - Dictionary.- Ishionary. - Dictionary.- Ishionary.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31- Dictionary.- Ictionary. - Dictionary.- Dictionairy. - Dictionary.- DICTIONARY!
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- Excellent!- Thank you.- Very good. - Don't go on about it.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36APPLAUSE
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Just the scores, please, Angelos?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Ulrika's got two and Jack's got one.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Thank you, Angelos.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Next round is the clips round.
0:12:48 > 0:12:54Both teams, will you watch the clip on your monitors? The question follows, so watch carefully.
0:12:54 > 0:13:01It was my job to fetch the yoghurt from the yoghurt bucket for my boss, Mr Onions.
0:13:01 > 0:13:07(SOUTH AFRICAN) OI! Fetch that bucket of yoghurt from the top shelf there, you silly bitch.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Prick.
0:13:08 > 0:13:14Unfortunately, the firm had provided a moron to steady the ladder.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Yeah, it's true.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Well, times are tight!
0:13:30 > 0:13:32WOMAN SCREAMING
0:13:36 > 0:13:40I fell into a sack of flour and an adjacent tomato.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44Somehow, in the mayhem, a hotdog got stuck to my face.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45I looked like a clown.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48The boss and his cronies started calling me names
0:13:48 > 0:13:51such as Coco, Pongo.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55Look at you, you stupid cow, you look like Coco the Clown from Bill Smart's Circus.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58You do look like a dickhead.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02I immediately lost all my confidence and had to leave work.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04- Go on, get out!- Yeah, get out.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07You can get out as well, you halfwit.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Clear off. Don't bother asking for your P45.
0:14:09 > 0:14:14I flushed it down the toilet after I'd had a dump on it. Cretin.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16My life had turned to shit.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19The only thing that could help me was money.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22So I contacted cashformishaps.com
0:14:22 > 0:14:25and asked if they could get me 1,500 quid, something like that.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29They did, and they flooded Mr Onion's factory.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33And got me and the moron jobs in the circus.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36cashformishaps.com
0:14:36 > 0:14:38if it's money that you're after.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40APPLAUSE
0:14:40 > 0:14:43There we are, both teams.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47That was an advert for Cash For Mishaps,
0:14:47 > 0:14:51people claiming money for injuries at work or elsewhere.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53And my question, you first, Team A,
0:14:53 > 0:14:59what do the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board award higher compensation for,
0:14:59 > 0:15:03the loss of both ears, or the loss of your tongue?
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- Team A first.- Your toe?- Tongue.
0:15:06 > 0:15:12Tongue. Oh. I think you'd get more money for loss of your ears.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15- Loss of your ears. - Do you want to put a figure on it?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I reckon they'd give you £500,000...
0:15:17 > 0:15:22- Half a mill?! - ..and a new pair of glasses that stay on without ears.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23LAUGHTER
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Team B.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Vangelis.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Van!
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Did you watch the clip?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Yeah!
0:15:37 > 0:15:41- Is he bothering you, Ulrika or are you all right?- I'm all right.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Team B, what are you saying, Jimmy?
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Tongue, I reckon. He didn't say that but he was thinking it.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Vangelis is. Tongue?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50LAUGHTER
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Let's forget that.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53LAUGHTER
0:15:56 > 0:16:01- Come on, Ulrika, what do you say? - Tongue.- You're saying tongue. You might as well.
0:16:01 > 0:16:07The loss of both ears will be compensated by the award of a sum of £19,000
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- 19?- For the loss of both ears.
0:16:10 > 0:16:15The tongue will be compensated in the sum of £44,000.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- It's Ulrika's point. Sorry, Jack. - Yes!
0:16:19 > 0:16:21High five.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Oh, ey-up.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29- You all right, Gabby.- Good, yeah.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32I was just having a look at what you're wearing there.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Are you all right for money?
0:16:39 > 0:16:43No, look, you know, Gabby, I've been sat over there by me office,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46and I can smell the pheromones coming off you,
0:16:46 > 0:16:48it's stinking the place out, right?
0:16:48 > 0:16:52And I've had your e-mails, I've had your texts, you've bombarded me,
0:16:52 > 0:16:56but it's definitely a no, OK?
0:16:56 > 0:16:57No, look at you Gabby.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Our children would look ridiculous.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03So forget it, my darling, all right?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Ulrika, on the other hand, it's still a yes,
0:17:06 > 0:17:08but you are on the turn,
0:17:08 > 0:17:11so if you want to do something, get a bloody move on.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14APPLAUSE
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Right, the scores.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Er, Jonsson's got one, and Jack's got three.
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Thank you, Angelos.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Can you fix this?
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Well, we don't need a torch because the next round is...
0:17:35 > 0:17:37LAUGHTER
0:17:38 > 0:17:39THWACK
0:17:48 > 0:17:49LAUGHTER
0:17:54 > 0:17:56That's done it.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57LAUGHTER
0:17:57 > 0:17:59His torch wasn't working.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01APPLAUSE
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Time for the Dove From Above round. Are you ready?
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Let's coo down that beautiful dove from above.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Down and down and down she comes.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Look carefully, you might just see her plums.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Dove From Above.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Vangelis, could you pick a category from the dove there?
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- A Fox.- A Fox.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23A good choice, Vangelis, cos that's Angelos's variety showcase.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Watch the performance closely cos the question follows.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30- Are you ready, Angelos?- Yeah, I am. - Here he comes.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32THROBBING MUSIC
0:18:32 > 0:18:34WOLF WHISTLE FROM AUDIENCE
0:18:38 > 0:18:40LAUGHTER
0:18:44 > 0:18:46# I-I-I
0:18:46 > 0:18:48# Don't want to know your name
0:18:50 > 0:18:52# Cos you don't look the same
0:18:53 > 0:18:59# The way you did before
0:18:59 > 0:19:02# Fox on the run
0:19:02 > 0:19:05# Screaming, fox on the run
0:19:05 > 0:19:09# Screaming, fox on the run
0:19:09 > 0:19:13# Screaming, fox on the run
0:19:13 > 0:19:15# Screaming, fox... #
0:19:15 > 0:19:17LAUGHTER
0:19:17 > 0:19:19APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Well done.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28So, Vangelis, did you enjoy that?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Not me.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Is the correct answer. Well done, Vangelis.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- That's not Vangelis. - That is Vangelis. Yes, it is.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42You're not Vangelis, are you?
0:19:42 > 0:19:46I think you'll find this says I am.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Yeah, he is.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54APPLAUSE
0:19:58 > 0:20:01Jimmy! Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- Pick a category from the Dove From Above.- I'll go Taters, please.
0:20:04 > 0:20:09Taters. Vic and I have recently opened a bakery.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12- We've got a bakery called... - Haven't we, Vic?- Yes, we have.
0:20:12 > 0:20:18It's a lovely bakery in the town centre, and it's called The Baking Of Pelham 123.
0:20:18 > 0:20:24Now, our most popular range is our tyrant range, our dictator range.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26Tyrant biscuits.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28There are five tyrants there.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32Can you identify the tyrants? It's a point for each tyrant.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34What about this fellow here?
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Who does that look like, Jimmy?
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Get your nose out of it.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41- Study him.- No? Anything on that?- No.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- What about this chap here? - I'd have to go Hitler.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- It's Hitler. Is that right, Vic? - Yes.- It's Hitler. Well done.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49What about this fellow here?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51"The third biscuit", as he's known.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53I ain't got a clue.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57The fourth biscuit, Jimmy, from our dictator, the tyrant range.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59LAUGHTER
0:20:59 > 0:21:01It actually looks like Saddam Hussein.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03And the final biscuit.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07The biggest of the biscuits, and therefore the most popular?
0:21:07 > 0:21:08It's got Saddam's eyes.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12I might have to go Saddam, after he's come out of the bunker.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16It's Saddam, post-hole, yeah. So that's dictator biscuits.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17LAUGHTER
0:21:19 > 0:21:21- Did he get them all right? - He got three right.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Oh, brilliant, that'll bring the sales up.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Jake. (EVIL LAUGHTER)
0:21:30 > 0:21:35(POSH) Jake, would you like to select a category from the dove?
0:21:35 > 0:21:37(EVIL LAUGHTER)
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Queen, please, Bob.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42- Queen.- Vic.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48The Queen Vic. AH HA HA HA HA HA!
0:21:50 > 0:21:51Right, Jake.
0:21:51 > 0:21:57Take a look at this film of Freddie Mercury.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58(NORTHERN) 'Ello!
0:21:58 > 0:22:02It's me, Freddie Mercury, back from t'grave to entertain you.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04I was walking along t'road,
0:22:04 > 0:22:08and this bloke started throwing butter, cream and eggs at me.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10How dairy!
0:22:14 > 0:22:16'Ere's a question for you.
0:22:16 > 0:22:21You know that show, Take Me Out? What's the catchphrase?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24There we are. Freddie Mercury asking the question.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- Have you seen Take Me Out? - No, I've never seen it.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30- You've never seen it?- Seen it, Jack? - Yeah, I've seen it.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- It's, yeah,...- Paddy McGinty. What's the catchphrase?
0:22:33 > 0:22:35It's "No likey, no lighty".
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- No likey, no lighty. - That's what he says.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Let's find out.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42The answer is, "No likey, no likey".
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Oh, you were wrong.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- Oh yeah, it's wrong. - No, Freddie! Freddie!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49It's "No likey, no lighty".
0:22:49 > 0:22:52No, it's not, "It's no likey, no likey"
0:22:53 > 0:22:57Freddie, it's not, it's "No likey, no lighty"
0:22:57 > 0:23:00No, it's not, it's "No likey, no likey".
0:23:02 > 0:23:07Well, you'd think Freddie would know, but I'm going to give him a point there.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11That's the end of the Dove From Above round.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14So what are the scores, Angelos?
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Jake. Mission. I'm doing one of me surveys, why not?
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Um, you like food, don't you?
0:23:20 > 0:23:21What do you prefer?
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Do you like a nice bit of fish,
0:23:23 > 0:23:26or do you prefer a nibble on a sausage instead?
0:23:26 > 0:23:27LAUGHTER
0:23:27 > 0:23:30- I prefer fish.- A nice bit of fish?
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Ulrika likes a nibble on a sausage.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Yeah, I know she does, yeah.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38But she spat mine out cos she said it was a bit pink.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40LAUGHTER
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Have you got any scores?
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Yes, I have. Jack's got two and Ulrika's got four.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Well done, Ulrika.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50APPLAUSE
0:23:53 > 0:23:57Final round, Quickfire Round against the clock. We don't know how long.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59When the time's up, you will hear this noise.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Ra-Ra-Rasputin?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03LAUGHTER
0:24:03 > 0:24:07What percentage of pensioners disappear whilst meandering around garden centre?
0:24:07 > 0:24:13- BELL - Logan?- 76. - Ooh, so close. It's 81 per cent.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15How many can you name?
0:24:15 > 0:24:19- BUZZER Vangelis?- Two.
0:24:19 > 0:24:20LAUGHTER
0:24:21 > 0:24:22Where can I get one?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24BUZZER
0:24:24 > 0:24:25Here.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Do they deliver?
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- BUZZER - Maybe they do.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32LAUGHTER
0:24:32 > 0:24:34- Yeah?- Happy with that.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36I'm happy with that.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39True or false, Yoko Ono has a sister called O-yes.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41BELL
0:24:41 > 0:24:42LAUGHTER
0:24:42 > 0:24:44- Who was that, Jake?- True. - It's false.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46O-no she doesn't.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- Ra-Ra-Rasputin?- That's the end of the quickfire round.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51What are the final scores, Angelos?
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Jack's the winner with six points.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Jack, well done, Jack.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Jack, as successful team captain,
0:25:03 > 0:25:09it falls to you to decide which team member, it could be you, is going to take tonight's final challenge.
0:25:09 > 0:25:14- I think it's going to be Jake. - So, Jake, come and join me to take tonight's final challenge.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Thank you, Jake, good luck.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20APPLAUSE
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Now, as you can probably see,
0:25:22 > 0:25:27you're going to be playing a version of the popular entertainment show The Cube.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32And as always on the show, there's a wonderful prize if you succeed.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Take a look at this safari.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49Beautiful. Beautiful. Well, we've taken the skins off those animals,
0:25:49 > 0:25:54and you can win their pelts, should you succeed in The Cube challenge.
0:25:54 > 0:25:58Cube, what is the name of tonight's challenge?
0:25:58 > 0:26:00(DISTORTED VOICE) Nut in bucket.
0:26:00 > 0:26:05You have to throw a severed head into the bucket.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07So, severed head into the bucket.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10There's the bucket. I have the severed head here.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13- If you'd like to enter the cube, please.- The Cube.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15LAUGHTER
0:26:15 > 0:26:19- The contestant has entered the cube. - The Cube.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Vic, you don't have to say "cube" every time I say...
0:26:22 > 0:26:24The Cube.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28- LAUGHTER - No, every time I say the cube... - The Cube.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31No, every time I say it, don't you say it.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33OK?
0:26:33 > 0:26:35The Cube is sorry.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40- So Cube, can you tell me whose s... - The Cube.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43ALL RIGHT!
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Can you tell me whose severed head is in the bag?
0:26:46 > 0:26:49It's Pat Butcher's head.
0:26:49 > 0:26:55OK, Jake, I'll give you the head. You can take that in your own time.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59If you successfully toss the head into the bucket,
0:26:59 > 0:27:00you win that wonderful prize.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02In your own time, Jake.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08TENSE MUSIC
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Contestant defeated.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20LAUGHTER
0:27:20 > 0:27:21Can I have another go?
0:27:21 > 0:27:25Well, Jake, you do get one chance to simplify the game in The Cube.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28- Would you like to simplify?- Yes.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Cube, Jake would like to simplify.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Right.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34LAUGHTER
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Hang on.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Here. It's a smaller head.
0:27:42 > 0:27:46Cube, whose head is in the bag?
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Louis Walsh.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Jake, here's Louis' head.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Thank you. Thank you.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54In your own time, think of that prize.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Mm-hm.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58TENSE MUSIC
0:28:02 > 0:28:04Oh, so close.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Contestant defeated.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08Unlucky, Jake, but well done.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Very good go at that.
0:28:10 > 0:28:14That's Shooting Stars and good night, ladies and gentlemen.
0:28:14 > 0:28:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:18 > 0:28:20# Goodbye from Shooting Stars
0:28:20 > 0:28:22# Goodbye, whoever you are
0:28:22 > 0:28:23# Ba dibby-de de-poo
0:28:23 > 0:28:25# Ba dooby-de boo-poo #
0:28:33 > 0:28:39Yes, Louis and Pat there proved too difficult a challenge for Jake.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42We shall eat them later.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:45 > 0:28:48Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk