0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains some strong language
0:00:06 > 0:00:09Hotel stake-out today.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11PHONE RINGS
0:00:11 > 0:00:15- Hello?- Mozzy, Big G again.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Wait until I tell you. Eoghan Quigg has left the Radisson
0:00:18 > 0:00:22because they won't give him a mini bar.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25Thanks, mate. I'm on it.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Quigg! During X Factor I was all over him,
0:00:27 > 0:00:29like Louis Walsh on Jedward.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33But the slippery wee pup dodged me every time.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Payback is mine! Here we go.
0:00:37 > 0:00:42Shit! Quigg wig! The crafty wee...!
0:00:45 > 0:00:50- QUIGG LAUGHS - Ha, up yours, Mozzy!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- CRUNCH - Ah, shit!
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Here, never mind, Mozzy, grab your camera.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Beautiful!
0:01:06 > 0:01:07What a woman!
0:01:07 > 0:01:11AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS
0:01:27 > 0:01:31CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:01:33 > 0:01:36There has never been a better time to be from Northern Ireland.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39We've got superstar sports people, a flourishing film industry
0:01:39 > 0:01:43and they seem to be sinking a lot of money into that Titanic Quarter.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46LAUGHTER
0:01:49 > 0:01:52But forget about all of that.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55The MTV Awards are coming to Belfast! Yeah!
0:01:55 > 0:01:57APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
0:01:57 > 0:02:02The MTV Awards are the biggest star-studded ceremony on the face of the planet -
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Beyonce, Kylie, Jay-Z...
0:02:04 > 0:02:08are just some of the spides from Belfast who'd love to get tickets.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12It's brilliant that they're coming
0:02:12 > 0:02:15but imagine if there was an ash cloud just as they arrived,
0:02:15 > 0:02:16they would be marooned here
0:02:16 > 0:02:19and eventually you'd have some Belfast women
0:02:19 > 0:02:20claiming to have met them.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25"You'll never guess who I met, Cinderella Kylie."
0:02:25 > 0:02:26"Who?"
0:02:26 > 0:02:28"Beyonce!"
0:02:30 > 0:02:33"Beyonce McGinty?"
0:02:35 > 0:02:36"No, Beyonce! You know!"
0:02:36 > 0:02:39# All the single ladies! All the single ladies! #
0:02:39 > 0:02:42"Oh, my goodness! Where did you meet her?"
0:02:43 > 0:02:45"Primark."
0:02:46 > 0:02:49"Was her husband Jesus with her?"
0:02:51 > 0:02:53"Jay-Z, you mean?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55"No, he wasn't. Pity too.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59"If he had been there, my fanny would have been eating the leg off me."
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Hello, there! Welcome to A Wander Wi' Willie.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39This here is no ordinary wander.
0:03:39 > 0:03:45Today I'm at the International Moor Town Annual Musical Sports Day Weekly Boxing Match.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47I've just noticed an old friend.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Charlie Balor?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53THEY GRUNT
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Every year, Charlie invents a new game for the International Moor Town
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Annual Musical Sports Day Weekly Boxing Match.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01That's right, Gerry.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03CHARLIE SPEAKS INCOHERENTLY
0:04:03 > 0:04:07INCOHERENT CHAT
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Aaaaargh!
0:04:09 > 0:04:11THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY
0:04:18 > 0:04:21ELECTRICAL BUZZES
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Ah, Tommy sure does love that game.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35BUZZING AND SCREAMING
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Join us for the second part of A Wander Wi' Willie later...on.
0:04:46 > 0:04:52# Oh give me land, lots of land under starry skies above... #
0:04:52 > 0:04:56We property bigwigs have a saying about the driveway.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58The space from porch to post-box
0:04:58 > 0:05:03is proportional to the power of the proprietor.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Incredibly catchy, but true.
0:05:05 > 0:05:10And every inch of this... monster seems to say,
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Mr Jimmy "Hands" Nesbitt,
0:05:13 > 0:05:17you will have to work a little harder to get to my toga party.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Take your hocus-pocus elsewhere, Mr Jehovah's Witness,
0:05:26 > 0:05:30or I'll set Rhodesian Ridgebacks, Tony and Lionel Blair on you.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Stay the night, Ms Lady Caller.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50You're drunk and there's a monster outside.
0:05:52 > 0:05:58Yes, a driveway of this size really does make a man feel powerful.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05I was running late for a court appearance.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10'I could see that someone had spilt water on the floor.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14'Unfortunately, I was wearing my court shoes.'
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Clear!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21'And I was carrying a 52-piece cutlery set at the time.'
0:06:21 > 0:06:22I dislocated my hip
0:06:22 > 0:06:27and sustained 11 separate puncture wounds to my back and thighs.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32So I called the Personal Repetitive Injury Claims Service.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35They got me 11 grand in total.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36I didn't even have to leave the house.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38If you hurt yourself,
0:06:38 > 0:06:41we might be able to spin it that it was someone else's fault.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Call this number to see if you can make a claim
0:06:44 > 0:06:47on a no-win, no-fee basis.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51Keep claiming Incapacity Benefit and stay on the brew.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Call the number now!
0:06:55 > 0:06:59If all the MTV stars got stuck here after the awards,
0:06:59 > 0:07:03you'd have the likes of Jay-Z going down visiting our ghettos
0:07:03 > 0:07:05via a big, open-top red bus.
0:07:07 > 0:07:12Hey, Jay-Z! I have got a few DVDs here for sale. Do you want them?
0:07:12 > 0:07:16Going cheap. I think I have your tour, mate. It's not even out yet.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Lady Gaga, at least she would get out into the country.
0:07:20 > 0:07:25She'd be out with some farmer in Tyrone trying to buy a cow to wear.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29The way she bought that dress, that meat dress.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Lady Gig-yah?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39You're obviously one mad bitch.
0:07:40 > 0:07:41Trying to wear a cow!
0:07:43 > 0:07:47But your money's as good as any other man. So put it there.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52By the way, Lady Gig-yah...
0:07:52 > 0:07:53is there a Lord Gig-yah?
0:08:09 > 0:08:12I have just finished a meal at Fidel's Gastro
0:08:12 > 0:08:14in Belfast's Botanic Avenue
0:08:14 > 0:08:17and it was everything I could have hoped for.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21The table was level and rock solid.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23There was no beer mats under the legs.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27One Maurice McDaid for that.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30The menu was straightforward and easy to understand,
0:08:30 > 0:08:32with no joined-up handwriting
0:08:32 > 0:08:34and everything was in plain English.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37None of your "spaghetti bolognese" fanciness here.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Another Maurice McDaid for that!
0:08:40 > 0:08:44I ordered the meat and potato with sauce.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48The professional waiter ignored Lauren's slip of the tongue
0:08:48 > 0:08:50when she ordered the battered wife.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59After we ordered, Lauren had to go for a shite.
0:08:59 > 0:09:04The bathroom was only 41 paces away. Well within my 60-pace limit.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08But we had to climb the bastarding stairs to get there.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13The cubicle was small but had plenty of bog roll
0:09:13 > 0:09:17and the air freshener provided 80% coverage -
0:09:17 > 0:09:19another Maurice McDaid for the bogs.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24When we returned, our water had arrived which was tasteless
0:09:24 > 0:09:27and had nothing floating in it.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30The waiting staff in general were excellent.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32They stayed out of my fucking road!
0:09:34 > 0:09:38When the food arrived, it was A, hot, B, cooked
0:09:38 > 0:09:40and, C, there was shit loads of it!
0:09:40 > 0:09:44Here, you put that back. Put that back. That's mine.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47If you're going to order rabbit food, you eat the rabbit food.
0:09:47 > 0:09:52A top tip. If you have a bottle of wine or two,
0:09:52 > 0:09:56don't drive home afterwards, as you may get caught by the police.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00I hereby award Fidel's Gastro of Belfast Botanic Avenue
0:10:00 > 0:10:03four Maurice McDaids out of five.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Bon appetit!
0:10:06 > 0:10:08There you are, love.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13So where did you meet?
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- In a youth hostel. - They take your kidneys out!
0:10:16 > 0:10:18# Happiness, happiness
0:10:18 > 0:10:22# The greatest gift that I possess... #
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- You know we were in Australia... - A very dangerous place, Australia.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29One minute you're relaxing with a beer in the sun,
0:10:29 > 0:10:32the next a spider crawls into your bum and it's all over.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35We travelled everywhere together after that. Hawaii.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- A big crystal-meth problem there. - South America.
0:10:38 > 0:10:43They have a fish that can swim up your pie hole and...
0:10:44 > 0:10:46..I'm not sure what it does then.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Where else?- Southeast Asia.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Not worried about earthquakes?
0:10:51 > 0:10:55Oh! Imagine being hit by a 300-foot salami.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59Are you thinking of a tsunami, Pam?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Oh! What am I like?!
0:11:01 > 0:11:06That's very morbid talk, love. We're trying to eat our dinner here.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Sorry, Bobby.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Yeah!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Hello there and welcome back to A Wander Wi' Willie.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33I'm just watching a spot of, ooh, wife carrying.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36A sporting event invented in Cuba, just outside, ooh, Muff.
0:11:47 > 0:11:52Today I'm at the International Moor Town Annual Musical Sports Day Weekly Boxing Match.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Let's go and have a wee, ooh, look around.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05It looks like I'm in time for the high man fling.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10So, Angela, tell us about this here controversial, ooh, sport.
0:12:10 > 0:12:11Well, Willie,
0:12:11 > 0:12:15it is an age-old tournament and a way of keeping order in this here town.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18One man grabs the ankles of another man
0:12:18 > 0:12:20and sees how far he can fling...
0:12:20 > 0:12:21that other man.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36Me and my husband have been doing it together for years.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Would you like a turn, Willie?- Yep.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Well, there you have it!
0:12:44 > 0:12:46What a day we've had at the International Moor Town
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Annual Musical Sports Day Weekly Boxing Match.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Join me next week, when I'll be trying to break a record
0:12:51 > 0:12:53for fiddling without using my hands.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Are you ready, Willie?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05What a lovely boy!
0:13:19 > 0:13:23What about our golfers? How good is that?
0:13:23 > 0:13:26It is incredible. It really is.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28It is great to see Northern Irish people
0:13:28 > 0:13:33propelling golf balls on the telly and not being water cannoned for it!
0:13:34 > 0:13:38Our superpower status for golf started with Graeme McDowell,
0:13:38 > 0:13:41or G-Mac as some people call him.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44G-Mac, it sounds like a burger.
0:13:44 > 0:13:51I like him but what is going on with that transatlantic accent? Huh?
0:13:51 > 0:13:55(AMERICAN/IRISH ACCENT) It was very special out there, you know?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57What about this golf course?
0:13:57 > 0:14:00It's in great shape, so it is!
0:14:03 > 0:14:07He sounds like the love child of May McFettridge and Stephen Hawking.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20Those are two names you'll never hear in the same sentence again!
0:14:22 > 0:14:25But I do, I love my fellow Tyrone man, Darren Clarke.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I love him. He is such a legend. He really is.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30All the rest of these golfers come out
0:14:30 > 0:14:33and they are muscley and athletic
0:14:33 > 0:14:34and there is Darren coming out
0:14:34 > 0:14:39like he just stepped off a ride-on lawnmower eating a bag of crisps.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43I really loved it in the last few rounds of the British Open.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47Everybody around the world was bricking themselves for them.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Hold it together, Darren. Just hold it together, man.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51You can do this. You can do this.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55You have waited 20 years for this, man. You can do it!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57And there is Darren, cool as a cucumber,
0:14:57 > 0:14:59having a wee cheeky fag around the 17th.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05Anybody going for a pint after this? Anybody hungry?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09I could murder a G-Mac right now!
0:15:09 > 0:15:12APPLAUSE
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- Hi.- Good morning, Julie.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25BANG
0:15:26 > 0:15:30- Watch where you're parking your car, Albert Dumble Dick!- Sorry, Barry.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33What you got this morning?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Sandwich. Apple.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Twix! Nice!
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- But Barry, I...- What?
0:15:40 > 0:15:43See you later, Jean-Claude Van Dick!
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Julie! Hiya, Julie!
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Balls! Grow some balls!
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Oh, it's you. What do you want?
0:15:56 > 0:15:59The same thing I always want - for you to grow a pair.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- He is my supervisor.- His big balls just eclipsed your small balls.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- What can I do?- You can spud up, son.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- But...- Conquer his conkers!- I...
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- Wee in his petrol tank.- What?
0:16:11 > 0:16:16Put your wobbler into his petrol cap and let nature take its course.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Unless, maybe, Julie likes eunuchs.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22She might be into the meat-and-no-veg look.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26- All right, then. Keep a look out, Balls Fairy.- Beautiful!
0:16:35 > 0:16:39See what happens when you grow some balls?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45ZIP!
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Aaargh!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49I don't know. I give up. I give up! Balls!
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Do something, numb nuts!
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Sweet balls of Jericho!
0:17:02 > 0:17:05These people live off personal injury claims.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Some people go to work every day.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10By playing out real claim set-ups 100% for real,
0:17:10 > 0:17:13we will show you the insider tricks of the trade
0:17:13 > 0:17:15so you don't make the same mistake.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18This is The Real Claim, so it is.
0:17:19 > 0:17:24Shopping centres are a popular place to hang out with friends, or pick up a present,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28but if you were to shatter your pelvis, they'd throw money at you
0:17:28 > 0:17:29just to get you out of the door.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35Notice how we take up strategic position, except gentleman Jim,
0:17:35 > 0:17:39who is banned from this particular shopping centre.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Phase 1 - the spill.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43First Pam buys an ice cream.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47Notice Pam has bought a cone and not a tub.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49That way the spill is more believable.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Phase 2 - the bump.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54While Pam carries her ice cream to the top of the escalator,
0:17:54 > 0:17:57fat Alan creates a crafty diversion.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06The ice cream is on the floor. The claim is on.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10If fat Alan hits the ice cream splash at the right pace,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13he could clear the guard-rail by several feet.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24And there you have it.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27One massive injury, a beautifully crafted claim,
0:18:27 > 0:18:29and a shopping centre none the wiser.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33All in, the claim made Alan a cool nine grand.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37He broke his femur in two places and sustained a fractured skull.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40It could have been much, much better.
0:18:43 > 0:18:48Of course, we can't talk about golf without talking about our Rory.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- CHEERS AND APPLAUSE - Yeah. Brilliant.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55What a legend! He went to America an 11-year-old cub
0:18:55 > 0:19:01and comes back a man with more money than Greece owes the IMF.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03On him, like. Just cash, like.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07Everywhere else, they call their sports people by their surnames -
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Nadal, Beckham, Schumacher -
0:19:11 > 0:19:15but here we call them by their first name, like they're family.
0:19:15 > 0:19:20Ah, didn't our wee Rory do well? Didn't he do well? It was great!
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Here, do you remember him on The Kelly Show?
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Do you remember him? He was great then and he is great now.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30And tonight's main headlines again.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Four dead in an armed robbery.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36And Portrush burger named after Graeme McDowell.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49RAP MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Hiya! I've been watching you two.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Aren't you Rory McIlroy?
0:19:58 > 0:20:01He is one of the best golfers in the world. You're a millionaire!
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Multi-millionaire.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08Anyway, I find your wife fascinating.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10SPECTATORS CHEER SHOT
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Thanks.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14OK. How about this?
0:20:14 > 0:20:18I give you 1 million...
0:20:19 > 0:20:21..for a night...
0:20:21 > 0:20:22with your wife.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24SPECTATORS CHEER SHOT
0:20:24 > 0:20:25What?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27I've got four friends in my hotel room
0:20:27 > 0:20:31and she looks like she could handle two of them.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34I will just leave it with you. I'll be over there eating my float
0:20:34 > 0:20:38with fizzy cola bottles and Wham bar.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Just leave it with you!
0:20:42 > 0:20:47Wait, Richard. Let's think about this.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48# Come on!
0:20:48 > 0:20:51# Let's talk about sex, baby Let's talk you about you and me
0:20:51 > 0:20:56# Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be
0:20:56 > 0:20:58# Let's talk about sex
0:20:58 > 0:21:00# Let's talk about sex... #
0:21:00 > 0:21:01So!
0:21:01 > 0:21:06Rory McIlroy, we have decided to accept your indecent proposal.
0:21:06 > 0:21:07Sweet!
0:21:07 > 0:21:10If anything happens to her, I swear I will...
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I've been doing this for years
0:21:13 > 0:21:17and the worst thing that's happened is a badly staved thumb.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20SPECTATORS CHANT: Rory! Rory! Rory!
0:21:25 > 0:21:27You're really good at this.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39# I'm forever blowing bubbles... #
0:21:40 > 0:21:43In the hierarchy of the home,
0:21:43 > 0:21:47the room with the Jacuzzi is king.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51And this wonderful bathroom welcomes us in
0:21:51 > 0:21:54with a bright, chrome smile,
0:21:54 > 0:21:57as if to say, "Hello there, you dirty boy.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01"Take off your clothes and lather up."
0:22:08 > 0:22:13And what could be nicer than standing bottomless in the Jacuzzi bath,
0:22:13 > 0:22:17bubbles bouncing off your bum and boyo
0:22:17 > 0:22:19as a baffled Bobby Ball
0:22:19 > 0:22:24battles the brassiere off a busty brunette in the box room?
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Beautiful!
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Talking about superstars,
0:22:35 > 0:22:38we've got our own home-grown superstars,
0:22:38 > 0:22:41you know, Van Morrison, Liam Neeson...
0:22:42 > 0:22:44..Hugo Duncan...
0:22:46 > 0:22:49And of course, we can't talk about Northern Irish superstars
0:22:49 > 0:22:52without mentioning George Best.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56Huh? What a legend? An absolute legend. Incredible.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04So much talent, but I bet you didn't know this.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06He had his own TV show in the '70s.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08He did.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11He actually had his own TV cop show.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15It was like a Shaft or Fall Guy type of thing, you know?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Solving crime. I'm being totally serious.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19I am being 100% serious here.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22He did. The BBC have a couple of tapes in their library
0:23:22 > 0:23:25and we managed to get one.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28We did. Would you like to see one?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30AUDIENCE: YES!
0:23:30 > 0:23:37OK, ladies and gentlemen. This is an exclusive first-time viewing of The George Best Mysteries.
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Enjoy!
0:23:40 > 0:23:42PHONE RINGS
0:23:43 > 0:23:46LAUGHTER
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Hello?
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Ah, Gerry. What about you?
0:23:55 > 0:23:56Murder?
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Eggs for breakfast!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I'll be right there.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Where are you going, Georgie?
0:24:07 > 0:24:11Another woman has been found murdered down the docks, you know?
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Oh, be careful, Georgie.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19I'll do my best.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31# When I saw you you looked like a diamond
0:24:31 > 0:24:34# As you played in the dust and the grime
0:24:34 > 0:24:37# Just a boy from the country of Ireland
0:24:37 > 0:24:39# And I knew I could make you shine
0:24:39 > 0:24:42# Cos you move like a downtown dancer
0:24:42 > 0:24:45# With your hair hung down like a mane
0:24:45 > 0:24:47# And your feet playing tricks like a juggler
0:24:47 > 0:24:50# As you weave to the sound of your name
0:24:50 > 0:24:52# Georgie, Georgie,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55# They call you the Belfast boy
0:24:55 > 0:24:57# Georgie, Georgie
0:24:57 > 0:24:58# They call you the Belfast boy
0:24:58 > 0:25:02# Georgie, Georgie, keep your feet on the ground
0:25:02 > 0:25:05# Georgie, Georgie, will you listen to the sound?
0:25:05 > 0:25:08# Georgie, Georgie, put a light on your name
0:25:08 > 0:25:11# Yeah, yeah, yeah, play the game. #
0:25:11 > 0:25:12No, thanks.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24HE LAUGHS MANIACALLY
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Well, well, well!
0:25:26 > 0:25:28If it isn't the Belfast Boy.
0:25:30 > 0:25:35Slack Alison, should have known.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Ah, ah, ah!
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Too late, George. Game over!
0:25:44 > 0:25:47It's Mr Chips!
0:25:47 > 0:25:50It is good, but it's not right.
0:25:53 > 0:25:54It's injury time.
0:25:58 > 0:25:59Catch it, Pat!
0:26:03 > 0:26:04Ah, no!
0:26:04 > 0:26:06ALARM BEEPS
0:26:12 > 0:26:15- The balls!- What about them?
0:26:15 > 0:26:16The bomb is in a ball.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21- Which one? - I don't know. You tell me.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Eggs for breakfast.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Hurry, big Pat, hurry! Untie me!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Faster, George, faster!
0:26:38 > 0:26:40We're running out of time!
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Kick the balls out the door, George.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Aye. Yeah.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01BANG!
0:27:01 > 0:27:04# Georgie, Georgie... #
0:27:04 > 0:27:05Oh, George!
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Nice job, Georgie.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11# ..They call you the Belfast joy
0:27:11 > 0:27:13# They say Georgie, Georgie... #
0:27:13 > 0:27:17- Don't you worry, Georgie, I'll fix it.- I just love screwing, Gerry.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20You did it again, Georgie.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23You're the best!
0:27:30 > 0:27:35My name has been Diarmuid Corr. You have been great. Good night!
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Aitchoo!
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Balls fair?
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Eoghan Quigg has been spotted in Barry's.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50The Twilight Saga.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52I decided to cut me own arm off.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58For you, only the best.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00SPECTATORS CHEER SHOT
0:28:30 > 0:28:33Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2011
0:28:33 > 0:28:36E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk