0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature
0:00:06 > 0:00:10# Really do try, really do try
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# There's a million things that I can't change
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# But maybe it's all right
0:00:15 > 0:00:20# Cos this is my life this is my life, this is my life. #
0:00:22 > 0:00:27Hurry up! You're going to be late, Viva!
0:00:27 > 0:00:31'Some girls, you take one look at them and you think you know all about them, right?
0:00:31 > 0:00:33'Well, look again.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37'I mean, just cos we live on an estate, we aren't all single mums with drug problems.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39'Though, obviously, some of us are.'
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Hey, Mel.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46'No way you'd catch me having a baby.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49'Soon as I finish sixth form, I'll be off to uni.
0:00:49 > 0:00:54'I might do psychology. I mean, I already know loads of people who are a bit mental.'
0:00:56 > 0:01:00Baldie's been up all night, screaming his big bald head off.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Careful, you're dropping ash on him.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Whoops, sorry mate.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06Had any breakfast?
0:01:09 > 0:01:13'That's Mel. I don't know how she gets through the day.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14'Well, I do.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17'Cider, mostly.'
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Hey!
0:01:19 > 0:01:24'My girl Amber has been my friend since... Well, always, really.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28'She's proper jokes with no issues.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31'Unless being a bit thick is an issue.'
0:01:31 > 0:01:32THUDDING
0:01:34 > 0:01:36So did you see Brandon last night?
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Oh, yeah, but I'm a bit worried. It's not the same any more.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42When we used to kiss, it was like this lovely, whooshy, tingly feeling,
0:01:42 > 0:01:46straight to my pants, but now I can't stop thinking what I'm thinking.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50Like, last night I was thinking, "How come Brandon's goldfish got so fat?"
0:01:50 > 0:01:52And then suddenly I felt Brandon's tongue flicking that dangly bit
0:01:52 > 0:01:57at the back of my throat and I was like, "Oh, yeah, this is occurring."
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- See you there. - What, you think I should dump him?
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Yeah, dump him, what a loser!
0:02:03 > 0:02:06I haven't completely made up my mind yet, anyway. I don't know what to do.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11What are you all looking at?
0:02:11 > 0:02:15- Did Brandon do that? - That is well creepy.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16He's even signed it.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20He's got really babyish handwriting. Hate boys who don't have interesting writing.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Like you've got a massive choice. "Oh, Max from The Wanted,
0:02:23 > 0:02:26"let me test you on your writing before I let you bang me."
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Just cos you'd do it with anyone for a packet of Tangfastics. I value my body a bit higher than that.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32You calling me easy? You calling me easy?
0:02:32 > 0:02:37- I didn't say that. - What did you mean, then? What did you mean? Huh? Huh?!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39'Holli's violent outbursts are legendary,
0:02:39 > 0:02:43'but if she hits someone again, she'll be permanently excluded,
0:02:43 > 0:02:45'so she's had to find other ways to release her aggression.'
0:02:50 > 0:02:53But I've never dumped anyone before. I don't know how to start.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Just tell him straight - "Hey, bruv, you're a bit too weird for me."
0:02:56 > 0:03:00You could reply to him on your boobs. Write, "It's over, I never want to see you again.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03"PS, You are a creepy weirdo loser, do you get me?"
0:03:03 > 0:03:05If only my boobs were that big.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Or you could just send him a text saying, "Go fuck yourself."
0:03:07 > 0:03:09No, if I did that he'd get upset
0:03:09 > 0:03:11and when he gets upset he does this thing.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15GENTLE PIANO MUSIC
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Just tell him, no messing about, "I've had enough of you."
0:03:18 > 0:03:20- But what if he does the face? - Punch it!
0:03:20 > 0:03:24What are you doing here? Are you waiting for me?
0:03:24 > 0:03:27I can't go bus stop with you today, I've got football practice. You'll be all right.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29I'll see you tomorrow.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Who's that?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Her name's Aliyah. I'm her mentor cos she's getting bullied.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Poor kid.- I know. Some of the Year 7s in her class are right bitches.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I meant having you as a mentor.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41'Saz has got an interesting personality.'
0:03:41 > 0:03:42Do I look disabled?
0:03:42 > 0:03:46'On the outside, she's proper sarcastic with serious attitude problems...'
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Shall I explain it to you again?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- '..but on the inside...' - Keepy-uppies not keepy-downies.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51'..the same.'
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- NEW ZEALAND ACCENT:- Come on, ladies! Let's get warmed up.
0:03:53 > 0:03:58Here we go. And reach, and reach, and reach.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Got some great news for you girls. We're playing Westmount this Friday.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Yes, it's revenge time!
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Punching out now. Punch and punch and punch.
0:04:06 > 0:04:11- Now, we all remember what happened last time we played Westmount. - I don't like blood, Miss.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13- It wasn't that bad, Saz. - It was, Miss.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Hayley's head was like a giant fountain spraying the pitch with blood.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- The head is an area that bleeds a lot - it looked worse than it was. - Her nose was broken.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21That's quite bad.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24- She still having counselling?- She's got to get surgery on her face.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26After what happened, she had an extra nostril.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Ugh! Stop talking about it.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Shut up! Forget last year. That was last year.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32It was completely different last year!
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- Yeah, last year Hayley only had two nostrils. - GIRLS LAUGH
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Viva! You're not wearing white socks. That's a detention. 20 press-ups!
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- That's not fair, Miss. - 30 press-ups! You too, Holli.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46And this is what a proper press-up looks like.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54You heard what they're saying about her?
0:05:03 > 0:05:06- I'm starving. - You know where the kitchen is.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Would it kill you to get me a snack ready?
0:05:09 > 0:05:12I'm not prepared to take that risk. You're late tonight.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Yeah, my stupid Nazi football coach gave me a detention.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Are you just going to sit there and let her abuse me, Rob?
0:05:25 > 0:05:27No, course not.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Well, actually, I am going to sit here, and...
0:05:29 > 0:05:33- I'll get back to you on the other one.- She made me stay behind to scrub the balls,
0:05:33 > 0:05:36for no other reason except to torture me. For fun.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38They were muddy and sweaty.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Switty? What's that?
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Sweaty. Sweaty.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Sweaty. She's saying sweaty.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48There's a rumour going around that you're pregnant. Everyone's talking about it.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Well, you'll be wanting to nip that in the bud, I expect.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Oh, for God's sake! You're not telling me it's true?
0:05:59 > 0:06:03I mean, how? Why?
0:06:03 > 0:06:06We have to listen to endless lectures about contraception,
0:06:06 > 0:06:08and you two can't even...!
0:06:08 > 0:06:11You're going to have to get rid of it. I mean, it's really easy.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15Chanelle had a termination last month and she was back in school by dinner time.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18I'm going to text her now. I'll get the number for the clinic...
0:06:18 > 0:06:20No, no, no. Viva, it was planned.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Plend?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24It was PLANNED.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- Was it?- Yeah. We wanted to get pregnant,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30and four weeks later I was ticking it off my to do list. Oh, yes!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32You didn't really have it on a to do list, did you?
0:06:32 > 0:06:36- A to do list is a highly effective tool.- Does Jamie know?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39No, we were going to tell you both this evening. Jamie...
0:06:39 > 0:06:41me and Anna are having a baby.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44JAMIE LAUGHS
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Jamie, they're having a baby.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47So? I'm busy.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Well, where will it sleep?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51First off, the baby will sleep in our room.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Then when you go off to uni...
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Or to work in Poundland or Micky D's or whatever.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56..the baby will have your room.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58- So you're throwing me out? - No, that will not happen.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Yes, basically, we will be needing that room.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Why don't I just leave now then?!
0:07:08 > 0:07:12'Yep, that's right. Miss Bitchcock is my Dad's girlfriend.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14'I don't know what he sees in her.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17'Well, I do.'
0:07:17 > 0:07:19GRUNTING
0:07:19 > 0:07:21'They're both proper sex maniacs!'
0:07:21 > 0:07:23- # Fuck You - Fuck you
0:07:23 > 0:07:29# Fuck you very, very much
0:07:29 > 0:07:32# Cos we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew
0:07:32 > 0:07:36# So please don't stay in touch
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- # Fuck you - Fuck you
0:07:38 > 0:07:41# Fuck you very, very much...#
0:07:41 > 0:07:45'I don't know why my dad is having another kid.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48'He can't even look after the ones he's already got.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49'Luckily, I've got my friends.'
0:07:49 > 0:07:51He doesn't care about me any more.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54All his cares about is his penis and getting his penis
0:07:54 > 0:07:58into Miss Bitchcock and humping Miss Bitchcock till she screams.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59And his stupid foetus.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Is it OK if I stay here?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Course. Do you want one of my mum's tablets?
0:08:10 > 0:08:11They're really calming.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18POUNDING MUSIC INSIDE
0:08:18 > 0:08:20I'm just on my way to Brandon's.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- To dump him?- To dump him.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Oh, my God.- I'm really worried.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Do you want one of my mum's tablets?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28They're really calming. Viva's had one.
0:08:28 > 0:08:33Er, no, I'm all right. I just want to practise what I'm going to say.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Go on, then. We'll give you some tips, won't we, Viva?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Viva?
0:08:38 > 0:08:41So he opens the door.... You be him, right?
0:08:41 > 0:08:44So he answers the door, and I go, "Hi."
0:08:44 > 0:08:45- Hi, sexy.- We need to talk.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Don't want to talk. I've got the right horn.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Get your tits out, let me feel those bad boys.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Shut up, I really need to talk.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Come on, babe, me mum's out, let's have a quickie.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56- This is so not helping. - Can I wank on your tits?
0:08:56 > 0:08:59I wouldn't let him do that, cos last time he did it,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02a blob of spunk suddenly shot into my eye and it really hurt and went bloodshot
0:09:02 > 0:09:05and Mum kept asking, "What's wrong with your eye?"
0:09:05 > 0:09:08So I had to quickly make up something, so I pretended a robin flew into it.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11I love robins.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17KNOCK ON DOOR
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Hi.- Hi, sexy. Come in.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24- My mum's out. We've only got ten minutes.- No.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26You look incredible in that top.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29I've been dreaming about your tits all day. I've got the right horn.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- No, Brandon!- Look, feel this.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34No, Brandon. Get off! I didn't come here for that.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37We need to... give each other some space.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Space?
0:09:39 > 0:09:44Yeah, the thing is, my nan's ill, cos a beetle crawled inside her ear and started eating her brain,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47and now we have to take turns reminding her who she is.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49What, you're dumping me?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Well, yeah, it's complicated.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54My dog's depressed, my dad doesn't like you,
0:09:54 > 0:09:56and I'm really behind on my textiles coursework.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58So you are dumping me?
0:09:58 > 0:10:02Um... Um, yeah. Yeah, I am.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Come on, no allow it. There's no way I'm going to let that happen!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07But isn't it up to me?
0:10:07 > 0:10:11No, babe. You're my girlfriend. We're good together.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13You know that, babe.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16I just really, really love you.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30So we went upstairs and, you know, did it, and then his mum came in
0:10:30 > 0:10:33and talked to us about the Bible for a bit...
0:10:33 > 0:10:34and then I went home.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37But you don't like him any more.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41I've got a match! I can't go bus stop with you.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43- I'll be ages. - SAZ TUTS
0:10:43 > 0:10:48- Whatever.- When we're doing it, it's the only chance I get to have a good think about things.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- Like what?- My God, everything.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53I mentally sort out my hair accessories,
0:10:53 > 0:10:56I plan my lipsticks for the next day,
0:10:56 > 0:10:58and that fat goldfish keeps popping in my head.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Please dump him.- Want me to do it? I could dump him so he stayed dumped.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05- Could you?- No, she has to do it.- Have I?- Come on. Think of your future -
0:11:05 > 0:11:08all the boys and men you'll go out with and need to dump.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11You can't just get Holli. She might not be available. She might be in prison by then.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13- You what?- Kidding.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17- Why would I be in prison? - It's the only way you'd get to see your relatives.- You what?
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Just think it through. What are the pros of sticking with Brandon?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22What are the cons? Weigh it all up and then decide.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Well, the pros are he's really fit
0:11:25 > 0:11:28so all the other girls are jealous of me.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30We both love Ice Road Truckers.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33And he makes toast just right, with the butter on the edges.
0:11:33 > 0:11:38- And that's it?- Well, the cons are he's really fit, so the other girls
0:11:38 > 0:11:41are jealous of me and call me "bitch" and vandalise my bike.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45And Brandon's really jealous. Like, when I had to turn over my granddad so he wouldn't get bedsores,
0:11:45 > 0:11:48he was like, "I'm not happy with you touching another man."
0:11:48 > 0:11:51And we both really love sex, but he loves it nonstop,
0:11:51 > 0:11:54so my Minniehaha never gets a moment's peace.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Yeah, I'd say the cons probably outweigh the pros.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59And there is something else, but I can't tell you.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Tell us or I'll give you a Chinese burn.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04It's important to share all the relevant information here, Amber,
0:12:04 > 0:12:05so we can help you.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10OK. Well...
0:12:11 > 0:12:14It's the noise he makes when he, you know...
0:12:16 > 0:12:17..comes.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21What sort of noise is it, exactly? Squeaky? Squawky?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Squidgy? Mental?
0:12:23 > 0:12:27Is it like water going down the plughole?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30No, it's sort of like...
0:12:33 > 0:12:35SHE GROANS
0:12:35 > 0:12:38GROANS AND BLEATS
0:12:41 > 0:12:42OTHERS LAUGH
0:12:42 > 0:12:44What?
0:12:45 > 0:12:48You should record it on your phone. Make it Brandon's ringtone!
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Yeah. Give us your phone.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56AMBER GROANS AND BLEATS
0:12:56 > 0:12:58ALL BLEAT
0:12:58 > 0:13:01What the hell's going on in here? Everyone else is waiting.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05We need to be treating this friendly like a dress rehearsal for Westmount.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08I want you to go out there and kill them. Dead!
0:13:11 > 0:13:14GROANING AND BLEATING FROM PHONE
0:13:20 > 0:13:22WHISTLE BLOWS
0:13:22 > 0:13:26MUSIC: "Creep" by Scala and Kolacny Brothers
0:13:26 > 0:13:31# I want to have control
0:13:33 > 0:13:38# I want a perfect body
0:13:39 > 0:13:43# I want a perfect soul
0:13:45 > 0:13:48# I want you to notice
0:13:51 > 0:13:55# When I'm not around
0:13:55 > 0:14:00# You're so fucking special
0:14:01 > 0:14:06# I wish I was special
0:14:08 > 0:14:12# But I'm a creep
0:14:14 > 0:14:17# I'm a weirdo. #
0:14:17 > 0:14:22One-nil! To them! The worst team in the borough.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24I feel like puking.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26I feel like puking.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29- I don't know how your dad can stand her.- Nor me.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33She probably takes it up the bum. It's well known that New Zealanders are off-the-hook dirty.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36She's probably done it with the wallabies back home.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Wallabies are from Australia.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Yeah, yeah, I know. She flew there to do it with them, innit?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Would a wallaby do it with a human?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Your dad is well fit for an old bloke.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49I saw him oiling up his abs one time. I got a mild tingle in my...
0:14:49 > 0:14:50Please shut up!
0:14:50 > 0:14:53His sperm must be on Zimmer frames, though.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57"Eggs! Eggs! We're coming, eggs. Slow down!"
0:14:57 > 0:15:00The eggs don't actually go anywhere. The sperm move towards the eggs.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04It's not like a game of It with the sperm and the eggs chasing each other round the Fallopian tubes.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08Yeah, yeah, I know. This isn't a biology lesson, is it?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Did you know that all our eggs are there from the start?
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Like, we have in our bodies right now all the eggs we're ever going to have,
0:15:14 > 0:15:17half the recipe for our babies. Weird.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21There's little Keira and Nathan.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23That's what I'm calling my babies.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24Alyssia and Rohan.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Diamante and Tyreis.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Ashleigh and Poppy, and Kimberley and Dolphin.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33And Angelina and Trinity, who are twins.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37I know exactly what they're all going to look like. I'm going to dress them in little matching outfits.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39I'm not having no boys, though.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41If I have a boy, one of you lot can have him. DOOR OPENS
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- Dolphin?- Yeah.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- That was poor. - Well, maybe if you coached us better we wouldn't be so shit.
0:15:54 > 0:15:59Viva, I expect you to speak rudely to me at home, but not here.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Here I'm the head of JK Rowling House,
0:16:01 > 0:16:04and I expect you to treat me with respect.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06One, I don't know what a "hid" is,
0:16:06 > 0:16:09and, two, I feel sorry for you, cos you don't even know my dad.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10I think I know him after two years.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14Yeah, but you still don't know basic stuff about him, like the fact that he hates babies.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15- No, he doesn't.- Yes, he does.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Mum said he wouldn't even come near us till we were three. He said he was allergic.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22- Yeah, but I'm sure that's not... - And that's just one of the reasons she left.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Oh, really? I thought it was just that she ran off with another bloke.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33By the way, I'm resigning from the team and I won't be playing on Friday!
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Viva! You coming back to mine again?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49GIRLS SHOUT AND ARGUE
0:16:50 > 0:16:51DOG GROWLS
0:16:58 > 0:17:02Er, not tonight, Holls.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Need to go somewhere quiet and think.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14My mum wants me home early cos we're dog-sitting my uncle's spaniel,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17and he keeps trying to make babies with our greyhound
0:17:17 > 0:17:18and it takes four of us to pull them apart.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21All right. Fancy a push?
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Nah.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Do you fancy giving me a quick handjob in the Wendy house?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Nah.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32You know what I said the other night?
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Oh, no.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Yeah.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39GENTLE PIANO MUSIC
0:17:43 > 0:17:47I'm sorry, it's not you, it's just...we're different.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50I mean, I like sweet popcorn, you like salt.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53I like JLS, you think JLS are all brain-damaged.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55I like holding hands and cuddling,
0:17:55 > 0:17:58you like humping really hard in weird and uncomfortable positions.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01If it's about space, I'll give you your space, I promise.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04No, you won't, cos you're really possessive and jealous.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08PHONE BEEPS Normally you'd try and grab my phone and see who that message was from.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10No, I wouldn't. Why, who is it from?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- I don't know. - So why aren't you answering it? - Cos I'm talking to you.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15What you trying to hide? Is it about me? Is it a boy?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Oh, my God!
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Hey!
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Oh, it's Saz.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Don't read my private messages!
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Why not? What does it say?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Oh, no. No, no. Please, please, don't cry.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35I'm not crying! Don't be stupid!
0:18:35 > 0:18:38GENTLE PIANO MUSIC
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Oh, God! OK! OK!
0:18:41 > 0:18:45We'll give it a bit longer, but you've got to let me see my friends sometimes.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48- OK.- Without you being there as well. - Fine.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51And don't cry. And don't write on my body.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53And don't call my boobs Ant and Dec ever again,
0:18:53 > 0:18:57cos that makes it seem like one's small and one's tall and they're not! They're exactly the same!
0:18:57 > 0:18:58All right. No problem.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Can I call them Jedward instead?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03I've got to go now.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07You sure you don't want to come in the Wendy house? Just for a minute?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Hey.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22'Thanks to Bitchcock, I'm still homeless.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24'My girls have been helping me out.'
0:19:24 > 0:19:26This is nice.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31SYNCHRONISED SLUPRING
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Aren't you going to drink your tea?
0:19:35 > 0:19:38'But friends aren't always meant to live together.'
0:19:38 > 0:19:41# Do-do-do-do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do-do-do-do! #
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Hi, I'm Amber! What's your name?
0:19:44 > 0:19:46What's your name?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Use the dolly!
0:19:50 > 0:19:51My name's Brandon.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53And?
0:19:53 > 0:19:57- And I think you're really nice. - AMBER SQUEALS
0:19:57 > 0:20:00'Then again, the alternative is Brandon's wanking house.'
0:20:02 > 0:20:03I just can't seem to dump him.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06You have to be tough.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07I don't know how to be tough.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Like this.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Shut up about Brandon!
0:20:13 > 0:20:16If i hear one more word about that wasteman, I will definitely kill you!
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Like that. That's how to be tough.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Oh. DOORBELL RINGS
0:20:25 > 0:20:28'Yeah, I know, it seems a bit harsh,
0:20:28 > 0:20:31'but Amber needs things expressed loud and clear.'
0:20:31 > 0:20:33This has gone on long enough.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38- You're coming home.- Just leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you.
0:20:38 > 0:20:39What are you so angry about?
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I'm not angry, you big fucking moron!
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Don't you call me a fucking moron.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46- SHE GASPS - I can't believe you're swearing at me!
0:20:46 > 0:20:51You don't want a baby in your room even if you're not there? I don't get it.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55You don't get anything! You know, I wasn't actually that bothered when you first hooked up with her.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59I mean, I thought you'd just do it with her a couple of times and then realise what a bitch she is.
0:21:00 > 0:21:05I didn't realise you were going to shack up and start a dynasty.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Sweetheart...
0:21:10 > 0:21:11..I'm sort of not very good at this.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Fighting fires, football - I'm good.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18But this is out of my comfort zone.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Why couldn't you find a woman who wasn't a teacher at my school?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Anyone would have been better than her. Anyone.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30Come on...
0:21:32 > 0:21:33..let's go home.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43What? Are you going to live at your friends' houses?
0:21:43 > 0:21:46OK, I'm coming home.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49PHONE VIBRATES, GROANING AND BLEATING
0:21:49 > 0:21:51What the hell kind of ringtone is that?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Anna!
0:21:59 > 0:22:01In here!
0:22:05 > 0:22:07What you doing in my room?
0:22:08 > 0:22:11This is Viva's room.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12The baby can wait.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19I'll come back to the team and I'll play on Friday.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31RUMBLE OF FOOTSTEPS
0:22:41 > 0:22:43KNUCKLES CRACK
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Use your skill.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Holli, Viva, are you listening?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Those of you who don't have skill, and that's the rest of you,
0:22:52 > 0:22:54particularly you, Amber, use your muscle.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57I mean, really lay some lumber on them,
0:22:57 > 0:22:59especially the one who looks like Wayne Rooney.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03- But whatever you do, don't get caught.- Miss, it's not fair!
0:23:03 > 0:23:04Some of them is boys.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07- Maybe it is Wayne Rooney. - You'll be fine. Start warming up.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Seriously, where's her lady lumps?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13We're fucked.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14MUSIC: "Louder" by DJ Fresh
0:23:14 > 0:23:17WHISTLE BLOWS
0:23:17 > 0:23:21# It's gonna get, it's gonna get It's gonna get louder
0:23:21 > 0:23:24# We're gonna get, we're gonna get We're gonna get stronger
0:23:24 > 0:23:28# We're gonna feel, gonna feel We're gonna feel better
0:23:28 > 0:23:31# You can't tame this energy inside
0:23:31 > 0:23:35# I gotta reach, I gotta reach I gotta reach higher
0:23:35 > 0:23:38# I want to burn, want to burn Burn like a fire
0:23:38 > 0:23:41# We gotta move, gotta move Gotta move faster
0:23:41 > 0:23:44# You can't tame this energy inside... #
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Stop fucking falling over!
0:23:49 > 0:23:50Good girl, Holli.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Oh, Christ, Holli, buy yourself a sports bra, would you?!
0:23:56 > 0:23:57# Faster
0:23:58 > 0:24:00# Louder
0:24:01 > 0:24:03# Better... #
0:24:03 > 0:24:06She hacked me down. That was a foul. She fouled me.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09I know she fouled you. The ref's a fucktard. He's probably her dad.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11- I'm shaking.- OK. We're 3-0 down,
0:24:11 > 0:24:14but we can come back. We need to pass more, mark more.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18And, when the ref's not looking, stamp on the Achilles tendon.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Amber, don't turn around but Brandon's coming over.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24- Baa!- No, I don't believe this. I'm not in the mood for this now.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28- Can we have a word? In private?- I don't know if you've noticed, bruv,
0:24:28 > 0:24:30but she's in the middle of a football match here.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31Brandon, remember what we agreed?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- This won't take a minute. - I'm seeing you tonight, aren't I?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37I'll talk in front of your mates if that's what you want.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Yep.- That's what she wants. - Definitely.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- OK.- I'm ending it.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43What?
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Us, it's over. Sorry, but...
0:24:45 > 0:24:49- Hang on a minute, what do you mean you're ending it? How come?- Yeah, how come?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Some Year 7's running around telling everyone private details of us.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Like, really personal stuff about baby Brandon.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57What Year 7 kid? What are you on about?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Some girl. I don't know, but you must know,
0:24:59 > 0:25:01seeing as you've told her everything about me.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Like, really personal stuff
0:25:03 > 0:25:06about my size and my shape and my moves.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09This shit is private shit
0:25:09 > 0:25:12and if a man wants to put on his girl's pants
0:25:12 > 0:25:15and film himself fooling around in the comfort of his own home
0:25:15 > 0:25:18then that's between a man and his girl.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Honestly, Brandon, I haven't told no-one nothing.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22No.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24The trust we had is gone.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28I can't believe you even told them about my noise.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Seriously, I haven't told no-one nothing! Except,
0:25:35 > 0:25:36obviously, I've told you three everything.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39You didn't tell us he likes wearing your pants.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40- I haven't said nothing.- Nor me.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42So who was it, then?
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Oh, that is well strange.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48- Back on the pitch, girls. - I feel all churned up and angry!
0:25:48 > 0:25:51I feel angry after what that Wayne Rooney bitch did to me.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52I'm just always angry!
0:25:52 > 0:25:54OK, OK, I have a plan.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56We need to channel this aggression
0:25:56 > 0:25:59into beating the living shit out of them!
0:25:59 > 0:26:02ALL YELL
0:26:36 > 0:26:37WHISTLE BLOWS
0:26:51 > 0:26:55'So I'm learning new stuff all the time.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58'Such as, my dad sucks at contraception,
0:26:58 > 0:27:00'Amber still likes dollies
0:27:00 > 0:27:03'and helping mental kids isn't easy.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06'But I'm doing my best.'
0:27:06 > 0:27:09MUSIC: "Doing It Wrong" by Anita Blay and Ian Masterson
0:27:12 > 0:27:17# What good is life without a good struggle?
0:27:19 > 0:27:21# Maybe it's in my DNA... #
0:27:21 > 0:27:24I don't get how come word about Brandon went round so quick.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26I mean, I didn't tell no-one.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29I know this sounds stupid,
0:27:29 > 0:27:32but I really miss him now.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Yeah, it must be about 30 seconds since you split up.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Don't be mean. She's really upset.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39You're not going to cry, are you?
0:27:39 > 0:27:41You don't even like him!
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Baa!
0:27:43 > 0:27:45No, stop it! No!
0:27:45 > 0:27:47ALL LAUGH
0:27:47 > 0:27:49# People keep saying I'm doing it wrong
0:27:49 > 0:27:52# But I say it feels all right
0:27:52 > 0:27:56# I really do try, really do try, really do try
0:27:58 > 0:28:00# There's a million things I could change
0:28:00 > 0:28:03# But maybe it's all right
0:28:03 > 0:28:07# Cos this is my life, this is my life, this is my life
0:28:07 > 0:28:09# People keep saying I'm doing it wrong
0:28:09 > 0:28:12# People keep saying I'm doing it wrong... #
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd