0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains adult humour and some strong language.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10# I really do try, really do try, really do try
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# There's a million things that I could change
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# Then maybe it's all right
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# This is my life, this is my life
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# This is my life... #
0:00:21 > 0:00:25No, when you break an arm, there's a noise, like a snap or a crunch.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28I didn't hear no snap or crunch.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30All I could hear was her screaming.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Acting! I'm telling you, her arm wasn't broken.
0:00:33 > 0:00:34That paramedic said it was.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38I could hear her screaming over the noise of the ambulance siren...
0:00:38 > 0:00:41I think I can still hear her screaming now.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Accept it. You broke her arm.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44I'll accept it when I see the X-ray.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Anyway, what's everyone fucking complaining about?
0:00:46 > 0:00:48We won, didn't we?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Oi, chuck us the ball back...
0:00:51 > 0:00:53if you can get it that far.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Hush your gums, fatboy.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56We just won our match 6-0.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Aw, sweet! They won their little girly match.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00I can see it now -
0:01:00 > 0:01:03"Ooh, ooh, help! There's a ball coming towards me. I better duck
0:01:03 > 0:01:05- "in case it messes up my hair." - Shut up, Jordan!
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Holli, just give 'em their ball back and let's go.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Not till that dick apologises for disrespecting our team.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Your team?
0:01:11 > 0:01:15You mean your club for annoying lesbians who can't get boyfriends?
0:01:15 > 0:01:16(BOYS SNIGGER) If we was lesbians,
0:01:16 > 0:01:18- why would we want to get boyfriends? - Let's go.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Under FA regs, we wouldn't even be allowed to play,
0:01:20 > 0:01:22cos we're so much stronger than you
0:01:22 > 0:01:23that we might accidentally kill you!
0:01:23 > 0:01:26I'd give 'em a match.
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Check out their skills.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29They look pretty fit to me.
0:01:29 > 0:01:30Fine! Let's set up a match -
0:01:30 > 0:01:33- - our team against your team. - No, Holli, that's a bad idea.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Thursday, after school?
0:01:35 > 0:01:39- Yeah! Yeah, if you like, whenever. - Come on!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- Hey, Badges! - He means you.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42You can make it the middle of the night if you want,
0:01:42 > 0:01:44cos we can beat you in our sleep,
0:01:44 > 0:01:46and I ain't even joking.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48You want to get yourself a bit of personal coaching,
0:01:48 > 0:01:50find out more about the offside rule?
0:01:50 > 0:01:53No, thanks. I won't be needing any personal drilling sessions from you.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56- We're talking football, yeah? - Yeah!
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Right, cos I thought you was trying to hit on me there.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02In your dreams!
0:02:08 > 0:02:09- VIVA:- Let's be totally clear.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Someone like him and someone like me is never gonna happen...
0:02:12 > 0:02:14which is kind of a shame!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17We could even beat you if we was dead!
0:02:17 > 0:02:19So, I told the rest of the girls,
0:02:19 > 0:02:20but I don't know what's the matter with them.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22- It's like they think we can't win. - We can't win.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Only in our heads.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27No, in our bodies, all over, everywhere, we can't win. They're better.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30It's cos of people like you there's never been a woman Prime Minister!
0:02:30 > 0:02:31- Actually, Holli... - Or a woman astronaut!
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Negativity is what's gonna beat us! Where's my chips?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Where's your chips? - I didn't want none.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I ate loads at pizza club.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Pizza club - that's a new one.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I know, I just discovered it by accident.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45It's on at lunchtimes.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47It is amazing in there! It's like heaven.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Is it free? - Yeah. I was walking past room D
0:02:50 > 0:02:53and this nice girl come out in the corridor and said, "Do you like pizza?"
0:02:53 > 0:02:55And I was like, "Duh! Obviously!"
0:02:55 > 0:02:56And she said, "Come on in, then."
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Were you asleep when this happened, Amber?
0:02:58 > 0:02:59No, it was real.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01There must be a catch.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04No, they're just nice people who want you to try lots of different toppings.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Like olives. I used to be scared of olives.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10I thought they were lizard eggs that would hatch in my mouth but get this, right,
0:03:10 > 0:03:12apparently they come from a tree!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27TEXT MESSAGE ALERT
0:03:27 > 0:03:28DOOR CLOSES
0:03:31 > 0:03:33LAUGHS I'm so going to be there on Thursday
0:03:33 > 0:03:35to watch you losers get destroyed.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36What? Who told you?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38It's out there. Twitter. Facebook.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Everybody knows.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Thursday. 4pm at the rec. Tampax United versus The Men.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46- It wasn't my idea. It was Holli's... - Tai's asked me to hide your sports bra
0:03:46 > 0:03:48so he can watch your boobs bounce up and down.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51But I won't, obviously. That's just wrong, man.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53You better not be texting your mates about my boobs,
0:03:53 > 0:03:55especially if you don't want it spread round the whole school
0:03:55 > 0:03:57that you...bum cats.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Bum cats? What?
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Christ, Viva, what made you think you could compete against the boys' team?
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Look, it was not my idea!
0:04:06 > 0:04:07You lot are fine for girls,
0:04:07 > 0:04:10but compared to the boys, you're shit. I mean, they could beat you
0:04:10 > 0:04:12with half a team, and a baby squid in goal.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Yeah, well, you're our coach so if we're that shit, maybe it's your fault.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18No, I don't think it's my fault that you're shit.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20PHONE RINGS
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Hello.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Yeah. Hi, Dad.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Yeah... Yeah, we are but...
0:04:26 > 0:04:27It wasn't my idea!
0:04:27 > 0:04:31I'm proper sick of everyone, including your girlfriend, putting me down!
0:04:31 > 0:04:33I'll be the ref if you like.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Sorry, Dad, there's a noise in my ear.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Dad! She said that I bum cats. - You know what?
0:04:38 > 0:04:39I'm gonna ask Mr Philips for help,
0:04:39 > 0:04:43because Mr Philips trains the boys' team so Mr Philips must be a proper coach...
0:04:43 > 0:04:45unlike you!
0:04:48 > 0:04:51I like to treat myself to a big old storm out now and then.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55I feel I owe it to myself as a teenager.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Et voila!
0:05:05 > 0:05:06So many toppings.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Dough balls...
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- It's like heaven. - There must be a catch.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Amber! Hi!
0:05:12 > 0:05:14I've brought my friends.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- John said I could. - Yeah. Cool. Come on in, guys.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22I'm Jenny. Please, um... Yeah, help yourself to....
0:05:25 > 0:05:27You do realise this isn't a pizza club?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29What is it, then?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31There are a few clues, Amber.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33SLOW GUITAR MUSIC
0:05:36 > 0:05:37That song's a bit of a giveaway.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39# Jesus wasn't stuck-up
0:05:39 > 0:05:42# Till he was stuck up on the Cross
0:05:42 > 0:05:46# Jesus, you're my leader
0:05:46 > 0:05:48# Jesus, you're the boss... #
0:05:48 > 0:05:50They use the pizza as bait to get you in here.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53It isn't...the paedos, is it?
0:05:53 > 0:05:54It's the Christians.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Oh, yeah. I always get them two muddled up.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58What's them others I get confused?
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Osama, Obama, the Dalai Lama.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Which one is the American President?
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Come on, Amber, we've been through this before.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08I know but I'm upset. You can't expect me to remember world politics.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Since Brandon got Charlie pregnant that's all I can think about.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15- It takes up my entire brain. - Yeah, I can believe that.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Have they tried to talk to you about religion?
0:06:17 > 0:06:21No, never... There is this one bit at the end
0:06:21 > 0:06:23where they all stand up and say sad random stuff,
0:06:23 > 0:06:25about how they feel lost and alone,
0:06:25 > 0:06:27but that's normally when I start looking for the hot chocolate.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Oh, my God.
0:06:29 > 0:06:30There's hot chocolate? I'm staying for that.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Badges! What's up?
0:06:33 > 0:06:34SAZ: Mm-hm.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36You're a Christian?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Yeah, big time.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40- I didn't realise. - Church of St Pizza.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43So, you ready for Thursday? Football?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45You didn't take all that shit seriously?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47You can't get out of it now.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49- You challenged us. - Yeah, well...
0:06:49 > 0:06:50Not me.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53So, what's your name?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Viva.
0:06:54 > 0:06:55Rocky.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Is that your real name?
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- Nah, it's cos I'm a fighter, innit? - Oh, you're that Rocky!
0:07:00 > 0:07:01There's a rumour going around
0:07:01 > 0:07:03that you killed that one-armed guy from the kebab shop.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Yeah, yeah, that was me. I didn't actually kill him.
0:07:06 > 0:07:07I just hurt him quite bad with some chilli sauce.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10So you've got anger management issues?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Nah, just kebab issues. You want some dough balls?
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Oi, Viva! Check it.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I'm Jesus.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22So, when you hurt that one-armed kebab guy,
0:07:22 > 0:07:24was it because you were experiencing some kind of uncontrollable rage?
0:07:24 > 0:07:25No, not really.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27I was just insanely drunk.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29But I'm, like, a good boy now.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31I channel all my aggression into my football.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Yeah? Me too.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Listen, do you want to come to a party tonight?
0:07:35 > 0:07:38It's just gonna be me, my boys, some select people.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40We're keeping it on the down low.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42My dad's really funny about me going out on a school night.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- There's nothing to be scared of. You can bring your crew.- Who?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Oh, my crew? Yeah. Sure.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Give me your number.- OK.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59That greedy bitch stuffed all the ham and pineapple.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Hope you ain't trying to back out of the match.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07- No, I can't hardly wait. - HOLLI: Yeah?
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I wouldn't get too excited, cos we're going to smash you to a pulp.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12We're basically going to make you into a boy smoothie,
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- and I ain't even joking. - Shut up, Holli!
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Later.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19What is wrong with you, Holli?
0:08:19 > 0:08:20The girls' team can't win.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23OK, OK, but give me one good reason why not.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Because of basic human anatomy.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Why are there different events at the Olympics for men and women?
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Cos there's a conspiracy to keep the sisters down.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31We're going to be massively humiliated.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Viva, Mrs Pankhurst is watching you from her grave
0:08:34 > 0:08:37and she is very fucking disappointed with your attitude!
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Rocky's clearly a really screwed-up guy with some mental-health problems.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47In a fucked up sort of way, that makes him extra hot.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51- SAZ:- Do you like him? - He's...interesting.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53- You do like him. - You shagged him yet?
0:08:53 > 0:08:57Yes. On top of the pizza table while they were singing that song about Jesus(!)
0:08:57 > 0:08:59No. I mean, people sometimes find a way at school.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02There are places no-one goes - cupboards, back of the library,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05the quiet study area - where shagging can be done.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06I've heard.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09No, I haven't shagged him...yet.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11And I've met a boy who really likes me.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Yeah, if you don't start sexing up some boy soon,
0:09:13 > 0:09:15you're gonna get a bad reputation.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Yeah, boys will think you're a fridge.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Do I mean "fridge"?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20I said I've met a boy who really likes me.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23You mean frigid. And I don't think anyone thinks I'm frigid.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Oh, yeah. Brandon does. He thinks you're well frigid.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Hello! Can anyone hear me?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31I said I've met a boy who really likes me.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Yeah, me!
0:09:32 > 0:09:34A boy likes me.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- A really hot boy likes me. - Are you sure?
0:09:36 > 0:09:37- Yeah. - You shagged him?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- No. - So, who is he?
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Is he that boy from geography, can fit a whole orange in his mouth?
0:09:41 > 0:09:43No. Why would it be him?
0:09:43 > 0:09:45I don't know. I thought it might be.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47I tried to do that thing with an orange once,
0:09:47 > 0:09:50but it got stuck and I couldn't breathe and I thought I was going to die,
0:09:50 > 0:09:53and the guy from behind the meat counter had to get it out with his pen.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57So, tell us all the details. Name, age...
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Size of his apparatus.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01His name's Jackson. He doesn't come from round here, though.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- I met him through my cousin. - Bring him to the party.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Yeah, bring him.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Yeah, bring him. I never thought you'd have a boyfriend.
0:10:07 > 0:10:08We thought you was gay.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- No, we didn't. - Yeah, we did.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- No, we didn't. - So, are you going to bring him?
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Yeah, we'd like to meet him.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15You thought I was gay?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- No. Course not. - No. Course not.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21No. No! We definitely didn't think you was gay!
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Well, he won't be able to come, anyway. He has to help his brother.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26- He's got a brother?- Yeah.
0:10:26 > 0:10:27You shagged him?
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Let's all get ready at my house tonight.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38ALL LAUGH
0:10:38 > 0:10:39So, you think she should?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- And you think she shouldn't? - Yep.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43So it's all down to me?
0:10:43 > 0:10:45I've got the deciding vote, like Simon Cowell?
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Erm, I think I can decide for myself if I want to shag Rocky or not.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50I bet you want to.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- Bits of me are very keen. - (ALL GIGGLE)
0:10:56 > 0:10:58We look like four skanky Barbies.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Or a dodgy girl group aimed at six-year-olds.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03I just love pink!
0:11:03 > 0:11:05I'm not really sure about this top, Amber.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Oh, don't worry. You'll be fine.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Last time I wore that, I had the best sex of my life.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13ALL SCREAM
0:11:13 > 0:11:16MUSIC: "Love Me" by Stooshe
0:11:16 > 0:11:18# Oh, oh, oh, turn it up and I'll go
0:11:18 > 0:11:22# Cos I won't need you no more, no
0:11:22 > 0:11:23# Whoa-oa-oa
0:11:23 > 0:11:26# Your place, fine But I ain't got the time
0:11:26 > 0:11:28# Why don't you hurry up?
0:11:28 > 0:11:31# Yeah, hurry up, ,yeah hurry up
0:11:31 > 0:11:33# Love me... #
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Obviously there was nothing else I could do after he said that.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41No-one talks about my mum, innit? So I hit him.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43This was your dad?
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Lucky for him... that I only hurt him a little bit.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48He can still walk, you know what I mean?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50I don't know why you keep boasting about hurting people.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52It's like you're trying to impress me.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Ooh, right, I get it, you're a good girl.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56- No.- Yes, you are.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59I bet you ain't never done nothing naughty your whole life.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01You don't know me.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04I've done loads of mad psycho stuff.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06MUSIC: "Rude Boy" by Rihanna
0:12:06 > 0:12:08# Come here, rude boy, boy
0:12:08 > 0:12:11# Can you get it up? Come here, rude boy, boy
0:12:11 > 0:12:13- # Is you big enough...? - If you're so crazy bad, yeah,
0:12:13 > 0:12:16how come you ain't never popped up on my radar with your mad shit?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I dunno, bruv.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Maybe your radar's busted, innit?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Or maybe it's tuned at a less mad level than I'm at.
0:12:22 > 0:12:28You know...I'm getting a stupendously massive hard-on looking at your eyes.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32My eyes? So not my tits, then?
0:12:32 > 0:12:33Yeah, your eyes.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I'm romantic, but don't worry,
0:12:35 > 0:12:38your tits are not hurting the situation.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39Ah, great,
0:12:39 > 0:12:42cos my tits are getting a hard-on just looking at your eyes, as well.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- SNIGGERS - What?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47What?!
0:12:48 > 0:12:51# ...Na na na na-a-ah
0:12:51 > 0:12:53# Come here, rude boy, boy Can you get it up?
0:12:53 > 0:12:56# Come here, rude boy, boy Is you big enough?
0:12:56 > 0:12:59# Take it, take it, baby, baby Take it... #
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- That was hot.- Yeah!
0:13:02 > 0:13:04I don't think you're head girl material after all.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06No way, man. Fuck that shit.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08You wanna go somewhere more private?
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Definitely. That's what I'm talking about!
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Me and him are going upstairs to bang each other's tits off.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17Does he know you've only done it once?
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Ssh!
0:13:18 > 0:13:21# ...Relax, let me do it how I wanna
0:13:21 > 0:13:24# If you got it, I need it and I'ma put it down... #
0:13:24 > 0:13:26I can hear a sort of rhythmic thumping.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29I think it must be Viva's head banging against the headboard.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31They're really going at it.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33DEEP THUMPING
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Yeah! He is proper doing her.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38That's the bass from the music.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Oh! Now I can hear laughing.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Maybe he can't get hard, and she's taking the piss.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46That's what I'd do if a boy can't get hard.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I think he just said she looks gorgeous.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50I think he really likes her.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Jackson thinks I'm gorgeous. See the bracelet he got me?
0:13:53 > 0:13:54£26 from Argos.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55Did he really(?)
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Brandon got me a diamond bracelet once. £12.99 from Asda.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03I don't think it was real diamonds.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08And you've got your ASBO bracelet, haven't you, Holls?
0:14:08 > 0:14:09Joking!
0:14:09 > 0:14:12I'm going to go back to the drinks. Text me if you hear any humping.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Wait.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Do you want me to give you a lap dance?
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Y-Y-Yeah. Why not?
0:14:38 > 0:14:42- You all right? - Oh, God, what am I doing?
0:14:42 > 0:14:43What's up?
0:14:43 > 0:14:46I'm not really mad and psycho.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47I'm a good girl.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51Motivated at school - check. Want to go to uni - check.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I'm not a neek, or nothing.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56So...you're not gonna bang my tits off?
0:14:56 > 0:14:57No.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01So, what's with the big acts?
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Pretending to be psycho-slut?
0:15:04 > 0:15:07I dunno. It's just...you know when people judge you and they put you in a box
0:15:07 > 0:15:10and then they say that you're something, and you're not? I hate that.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Yeah, me too.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Sometimes, people think I'm thick cos I didn't pass any exams,
0:15:15 > 0:15:17and that I'm violent
0:15:17 > 0:15:19just cos I hit lots of people.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20That's annoying.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Must be.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24So do you mind if...
0:15:25 > 0:15:26..not doing it?
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Mind?!
0:15:28 > 0:15:31There's no challenge if a girl gives it up the first time I try.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33So, if I had done it, you'd think I was a slag?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35It would've been nice, but yeah.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38But you didn't, so you're not a slag.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42That is wrong. Boys shouldn't think about girls like that.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44I'm going back to my mates.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Aw, this isn't gonna end here!
0:15:46 > 0:15:48- No way. This is a destiny thing. - DOOR SLAMS
0:15:48 > 0:15:49SIGHS
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- A destiny thing. - Destiny thing.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55What the fuck is that?
0:15:55 > 0:15:59He's basically saying that me and him are, like, written in the stars.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02I used to think me and Brandon were fated to be together,
0:16:02 > 0:16:04but now I'm not so sure. It's like in Eminem's song -
0:16:04 > 0:16:08"that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano".
0:16:08 > 0:16:10What, you and him? A tornado and a volcano?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Which one are you?
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Oh...my...God...
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Oh, my God! Shit!
0:16:16 > 0:16:20The boys' football team are, like, amazingly good at football.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- Why did you let me challenge them to a football match?- What?!
0:16:23 > 0:16:26They're incredible. Look at their skills. We've got to cancel.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Well, we can't cancel now. We'll just look like idiots.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30That's right. Amber?!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I think I'm the tornado.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33And Brandon's the volcano.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I'm starved. Pizza club?
0:16:36 > 0:16:38No, it does my head in when they sing.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Could you get me a slice of ham and pineapple, Amber?
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Yeah, you'd better write this down. I'll have a margherita.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Peperami for me.
0:16:44 > 0:16:45You're not writing it down.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47I don't think I should.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49I don't think God would like me to steal.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- She's been brainwashed!- No.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53I've just decided to walk with Christ.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Three pizzas and you're a Christian?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Yeah! And I'm supposed to talk to all my friends about the Bible,
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- make you lot Christians too. - What, us?
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Yeah. So, you don't want to talk about the Bible with me?
0:17:04 > 0:17:05No, thanks.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Good, because all the non-Christians who just come for the pizza
0:17:08 > 0:17:10are just getting too much of the food.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Where's Jackson? Is he coming to support you?
0:17:23 > 0:17:24No, Jackson couldn't come.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27- Is that because he's made-up? - Excuse me!
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Hey, chunks! Come 'ere!
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Holli says that Rocky's been banging a load of slags,
0:17:31 > 0:17:33and Saz says he's dumb,
0:17:33 > 0:17:35but I bet she wouldn't say that if she talked to him.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38I mean, why do people say these things? I'm well confused.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Amber, are you even listening?
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Yeah, of course I am.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45You said Rocky's dumb and likes slags.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47No, I said... Oh, never mind.
0:17:47 > 0:17:48Any tips for us, miss?
0:17:48 > 0:17:51I'm the ref, Holli. I'm impartial.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Yeah, but you're on our side, really, aren't you?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54You want a tip?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56You know how we normally play 2-2-2?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Forget that. Just put everyone in defence.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01And don't underestimate the keeper.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05I know he's got bigger boobs than most of us, but he can save anything.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07He probably won't need to.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09No, I'd say your only chance is to get their team sent off.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12OK, this is it. Team hug.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17- AMBER:- I just want you all to know that I went to church yesterday
0:18:17 > 0:18:19and I spoke to the vicar, and he said he would pray for us.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21- So, we should be OK. - WHISTLE
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- ANNA:- Come on, ladies! They're waiting for you.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30- Good luck, girls. - WHISTLE
0:18:47 > 0:18:48WHISTLE
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Next time, Holli, just keep your mouth shut!
0:19:28 > 0:19:30I can't understand it.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33The vicar must've lied when he said he'd pray for us.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Well, I can hold my head up. I scored!
0:19:35 > 0:19:37PHONE BEEPS
0:19:37 > 0:19:40I just think it was really sweet of Rocky to help me score.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46I mean, I know it was to get into my pants.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48I didn't want you to lose to zero, innit?
0:19:48 > 0:19:50I wanted to see you smile.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52What's your real name?
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Romario.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57He was some footballing legend back in the day.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05- Whoa, Romario! You're getting naked. - Enjoy!
0:20:05 > 0:20:07What's all this bling, anyway?
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Well, that's anti-bullying council,
0:20:09 > 0:20:11citizenship champion, peer mentor,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14peer listener, and that's just something I got free from a box of cornflakes.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Right...
0:20:16 > 0:20:18You've got so many scars. What's that one?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Um...hit by lightning
0:20:20 > 0:20:22For real?
0:20:22 > 0:20:23And that one?
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Gunshot wound - pretty standard.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Shark bite - that's a long story.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Really(!) What are they all?
0:20:32 > 0:20:34My dad was not a good guy.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Your dad did these?
0:20:38 > 0:20:39Oh, my God.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43No! Not really!
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Your face!
0:20:45 > 0:20:50I don't really like talking about it, cos the truth's kind of embarrassing.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Basically, when I was younger, I was...
0:20:53 > 0:20:56I was savaged by my nan's cat.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59A cat did these?!
0:20:59 > 0:21:00It was a massive fucking cat, yeah!
0:21:00 > 0:21:02It was more like a puma.
0:21:02 > 0:21:07I could have taken it out, but it was my nan's only friend, so...
0:21:07 > 0:21:10I really believed you about your dad.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11I'm a good liar.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15If I'd kept on with the lie about my dad, I could've got you to do it with me.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18I mean, proper do it,
0:21:18 > 0:21:20but I respect you too much.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Don't respect me too much.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- GASPS - What's wrong?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47I can't hold my breath that long.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48How do you do it?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50You don't have to hold your breath.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52You can just breathe through your nose, you know?
0:21:53 > 0:21:55You ain't never kissed no-one before?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Yeah, course I have.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00You OK, yeah? Do we need an ambulance(?)
0:22:00 > 0:22:02No, I'm fine. Just got to go home.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06Yeah, cos you're scared you can't hold out against the power of this.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11A girl's gotta say no at least twice,
0:22:11 > 0:22:14especially with a guy like Rocky.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15DOOR CLOSES
0:22:15 > 0:22:17But I really, really like him.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18HORN BLARES
0:22:18 > 0:22:20So, you ain't shagged him?
0:22:20 > 0:22:21I bet he's good at it.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23How can you tell?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25He just looks like he would be really...ooh!
0:22:25 > 0:22:28We're taking our time, not rushing into anything
0:22:28 > 0:22:30but, you know, obviously, I'm going to shag him.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32I'll have him when you've finished.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34And what about Jackson? You shagged him?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36No, it's not like that with Jackson.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Yeah, it must be really hard to shag an invisible man.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- Shut up. - Finding his invisible penis.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- Giving him an invisible blow job. - He's real!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Let's all meet later at pizza club, yeah?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48What, so you can see Rocky again?
0:22:48 > 0:22:50So you can shag him?
0:22:51 > 0:22:53# Jesus was a cool guy
0:22:53 > 0:22:56# Jesus had a plan
0:22:56 > 0:22:59# To make us love each other
0:22:59 > 0:23:01# Jesus, you're the man
0:23:01 > 0:23:04# If you ask me who the daddy... #
0:23:04 > 0:23:07The truth about me and Jackson...
0:23:07 > 0:23:10is, like, it wasn't right for me, and I dumped him.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12You made him up. Admit it.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Cos you was jealous of Viva having a boyfriend.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16This is all actually quite hurtful.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18You're supposed to be my friends.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Amber...
0:23:21 > 0:23:23the group thinks it's time we heard from you.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25You've been coming for a while now,
0:23:25 > 0:23:27and we'd love to hear about your journey to God.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39What, now?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Yeah!
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Come up to the mic.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Hi, everyone.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51Um...
0:23:51 > 0:23:55Jenny asked me to say a bit about my...um, journey to God.
0:23:56 > 0:24:01I think it all started when I took my first bite of chicken tikka pizza.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04I was, like, "Oh, my God, this tastes amazing!"
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Like almost holy.
0:24:05 > 0:24:10I mean, who would have thought of mixing Italian food and Indian food?
0:24:10 > 0:24:14That is just proper genius. At first, when I come in here, I was, like,
0:24:14 > 0:24:17- seeing all these Ts and I thought... - What are you doing here?
0:24:17 > 0:24:19- I needed to see you.- Why?!
0:24:19 > 0:24:21You got my text, dumping you, right?
0:24:21 > 0:24:22Mum's really angry.
0:24:22 > 0:24:23She wants the bracelet back.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26I'm not scared of your mum. Just piss off!
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Do you want to come round some time and get your pink hoodie?
0:24:29 > 0:24:31You can keep it. It'll suit you.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33...and then I realised no, it weren't,
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- it was a cross. - There you go -
0:24:35 > 0:24:37he exists, just like I said.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38You said he was...
0:24:38 > 0:24:40BOTH: ...a really hot boy.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- Is he still in primary school? - He's 16!
0:24:42 > 0:24:44He's quite cute, though. Like a little dolly.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Oh, my God! You didn't shag him, did you?
0:24:47 > 0:24:48...the only thing I would suggest
0:24:48 > 0:24:51is that you're a little less tight on the mozzarella.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53I mean, come on, guys. Pizza needs cheese, that's just the way it is.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Amber...um, just a little reminder -
0:24:56 > 0:24:58we are Christians.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00We're not just about pizza.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03But that's why people come...obviously.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04To the pizza club!
0:25:04 > 0:25:08It's... It's not a pizza club.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Well, it's a club and there's pizza.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Yeah, but it's not a pizza club.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Well, it is.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17It's not a bloody pizza club, all right?!
0:25:18 > 0:25:21But that is why people come.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Do you want me to sing now?
0:25:24 > 0:25:27No. No. Thank you, Amber.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29But I can rap all of Pass Out by Tinie Tempah.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30Amber, that's fine!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35I'll now continue talking about my journey.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Oi, Saz.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38Hey!
0:25:38 > 0:25:42Most people think that God is a man with a big white beard,
0:25:42 > 0:25:44a bit like Father Christmas but in a nightie.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46- Come here!- Argh!
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Get off! Ooh!
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Does he have a beard? Does he shave his beard?
0:25:51 > 0:25:53I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...
0:25:53 > 0:25:55What does he shave his beard with? With a Gillette Mach 3?
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Your mum just nearly scalped me.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59She just wants the bracelet back.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01SIGHS
0:26:01 > 0:26:04OK... Have your stupid bracelet back.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06You are beautiful...
0:26:06 > 0:26:08on the outside.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11You just don't have that inner beauty that I'm looking for in a woman.
0:26:14 > 0:26:15He's got a point.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Yep!
0:26:17 > 0:26:20I've tried to tell my friends that religion can help you
0:26:20 > 0:26:24if you have a problem, like my friend Viva.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Viva likes a boy called Rocky,
0:26:26 > 0:26:28but Rocky's a dumb idiot who's always in trouble
0:26:28 > 0:26:31and only likes slags. So, I tried to advise her but she wasn't...
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Shut up!
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Amen.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37I didn't say that. She's got all my words mixed up.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Whatever order you say them, those are harsh words.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43- Look, I'll see you around, yeah. - Rocky?
0:26:43 > 0:26:44I'm too dumb for you.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48I'll stick to girls who are dumb... like me!
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Oh, my God. Thank you, Amber(!)
0:26:53 > 0:26:54What? What did I do?
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Hot chocolate?
0:26:59 > 0:27:00SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:27:06 > 0:27:09There's some good stuff in this book.
0:27:09 > 0:27:10It's well violent!
0:27:12 > 0:27:15# People keep sayin' that I'm doin' it wrong
0:27:15 > 0:27:17# But I say it feels all right
0:27:17 > 0:27:22# I really do try Really do try, really do try
0:27:23 > 0:27:26# There's a million things that I could change
0:27:26 > 0:27:28# But maybe it's all right
0:27:28 > 0:27:30# If this is my life
0:27:30 > 0:27:33- # This is my life, this is my life - # People keep sayin'
0:27:33 > 0:27:35- # That I'm doin' it wrong - # It's gonna be fine
0:27:35 > 0:27:37# People keep sayin' That I'm doin' it wrong
0:27:37 > 0:27:39# People keep sayin'
0:27:39 > 0:27:41- # That I'm doin' it wrong - # It's gonna be fine... #