0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains strong language.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# There's a million things that I could change
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# But maybe it's all right
0:00:15 > 0:00:19# This is my life, this is my life This is my life. #
0:00:19 > 0:00:21What's all that stuff?
0:00:21 > 0:00:23This? It's just all my old toys.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Or, to quote Bitchcock, "A big dirty pile of shit!"
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Aw, cute duckie wuckie.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Yeah. Got to make space for baby!
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Baby hasn't got a bedroom.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Baby won't be happy until the last traces of my childhood
0:00:34 > 0:00:36are completely destroyed!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Can I have this?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Oh, my God, it's Snowy and Justin Timberlake!
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Timberlake was kind of like Viva's first boyfriend.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45Before she discovered human cock.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48God, really? Like, this horse here?
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Just to clarify, Timberlake was not in any sense my real boyfriend.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Do you want something, Saz?
0:01:04 > 0:01:07- Hey, Viva.- Hey.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Can I ask you something?
0:01:08 > 0:01:11When is Amber going to get over this problem she's got with me?
0:01:11 > 0:01:13I don't know, why don't you ask her?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Oh, I've asked, but you know how she gets when she's upset about stuff.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Yeah. I know.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21SHE SOBS
0:01:23 > 0:01:25SHE SOBS
0:01:27 > 0:01:28SHE SOBS
0:01:30 > 0:01:32So why won't she talk to me any more?
0:01:32 > 0:01:35All I know is, she said it was over between you two.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37All this fuss just cos she found me banging her sister.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40That shit happened ages ago, we need to move on from that.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Hang on, you, you slept with Topaz?
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Yeah, I helped myself to a slice of the big sister pie.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47But it was one time, and more than a week ago.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- She didn't tell you?- No!
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- She didn't tell anyone. - So maybe she's just forgotten.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Or maybe it was just incredibly humiliating for her.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Why did you do it?
0:01:59 > 0:02:00Ah, you know how it is.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01No, I don't.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Just one of them things, innit?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05I was wasted, I go to Amber's for some action,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08she was out and I was in the mood to play, you get me?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09She was out.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12So what if Amber's sister wasn't home, but her mum was?
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Yeah, I wouldn't say no to tapping that.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Going directly to the motherlode.
0:02:16 > 0:02:17What?!
0:02:17 > 0:02:19I ain't going to lie, Amber's mum is a spice.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- Ugh!- Could you talk to Amber for me?
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- It would help if you was on my side. - And what would I say?
0:02:24 > 0:02:26"He's not sorry he banged your sister,
0:02:26 > 0:02:28"but he wants to do your mum as well."
0:02:28 > 0:02:29No, cos that's not going to help.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Ugh!
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Look, party at mine tonight. You guys should come.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37She should come.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40POP MUSIC
0:02:50 > 0:02:55So all the exes are here. Brandon, Rocky. Awkward.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Should be fun(!)
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Feels weird being in Brandon's house.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00What, with your clothes on?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02I can't believe you made us come to this, Holli.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Free booze, I mean, come on.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Owen and Leon are here.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07I do psychology with Leon.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10He's obsessed with violence and serial killers.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13If you say any European country, he can name a serial killer from there.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15I like his trousers.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Come on Amber, let's go dance - by Leon.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Come on! There's a queue.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40What's going on in there?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42What can you hear?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45It's either seriously messy sex or the toilet flushing.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46Want some?
0:03:52 > 0:03:56# I'm waking up to ash and dust
0:03:56 > 0:03:59# I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
0:03:59 > 0:04:02# I'm breathing in the chemicals... #
0:04:05 > 0:04:07I can't believe she did that.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09She's always liked Rocky.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13- Are you all right? - Yeah, course I am.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17What, you think I've got a problem with Holli snogging Rocky?
0:04:18 > 0:04:19No, I'm fine.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23She's single, he's single, I'm single, we're all single.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Single, single, single!
0:04:25 > 0:04:29I'm really surprised. I thought you was going to go mental.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33No, I'm fine. I'm just never ever speaking to Holli again.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- Ever!- Wassup?
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Just so you know, I'm not your friend any more,
0:04:37 > 0:04:39so please don't talk to me.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41What are we, six? What did I do?
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- You know what you did! - No. What?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45I think she means you kissing Rocky.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48What?! I didn't kiss Rocky. I swear down!
0:04:48 > 0:04:50We all saw you, Holli, we're witnesses.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Everyone knows "witness" is just some legal bullshit word.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- I've got pics.- Pics, really? I'll believe it when I see it.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- There you go.- That's not me. - Just stop lying!
0:04:59 > 0:05:01OK, we kissed, don't have a spaz attack.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Didn't you think about my feelings?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Yeah, but he wasn't your boyfriend and he started it
0:05:05 > 0:05:06and I was off my face, mental monkeys.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- Seriously, I was wasted. - Have him! I don't care.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12But I don't want to be friends with you any more.
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Come on, Viva.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Wait on a minute, Saz, what's going on?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- Is this a freeze-out? - I'm not sure.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21What's she so upset about? It was only a kiss.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Though he did press his man-bits against me.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26- Did he?- Come on, Amber!- Just coming.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31You shouldn't have done it, Holli.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33So it is a freeze-out. Shit!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Look at the freakazoids having a row!
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Give me the freeze-out! I don't care!
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I've got lots of mates I can hang out with.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42I don't need you bitches, and by the way,
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Rocky was ramming his man-bits against me!
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Really hard! I've got a bruised pelvis!
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Good party last night.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02GIRLS: Yeah.
0:06:02 > 0:06:03Do you like movies?
0:06:03 > 0:06:05GIRLS: Yeah.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07There's a film coming out Friday I'm desperate to see,
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Blood Banquet IV. It's Vic East?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Do you know Vic East?
0:06:11 > 0:06:12GIRLS: No.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15He was the killer in Evil Maniac VII. Have you seen that?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17GIRLS: No.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19And he was the killer in Terminal Chainsaw IX.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Was he the boyfriend in OMG, It's Love II?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23No.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24What's this film about?
0:06:24 > 0:06:28It's about this character played by Vic East, he's just a regular guy
0:06:28 > 0:06:31apart from being a cannibal serial killer bulimic.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Cool!
0:06:32 > 0:06:35In each film he moves to a new town, makes new friends,
0:06:35 > 0:06:38gets a job and then he starts killing and eating people.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40And then puking them up.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Cool. So, is there a love story?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- No, there's not.- Cool.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Yeah, cool.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Yeah. Like I said, cool.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Well, I think it's cool too.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52It sounds totally disgusting.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Yes, totally disgusting.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Bye.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57GIRLS: Bye!
0:06:59 > 0:07:00What an idiot!
0:07:00 > 0:07:05And you two going on like morons, "Cool, cool."
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Oh, my God, do you two like him or something?
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- I kind of like him.- So do I.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12- And who does he like? - I don't know, I can't tell.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- I know where he lives.- So?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17- So we can find out who Leon likes out of me and you.- How?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20We get dressed-up and walk past his house till he comes out
0:07:20 > 0:07:22and tries to do it with one of us! See you tomorrow!
0:07:24 > 0:07:26I don't think Amber should be getting involved with Leon.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Not after what she went through with Brandon.
0:07:28 > 0:07:33Well, what happened with Brandon? Come on, tell me!
0:07:35 > 0:07:39She found him in bed with her sister. Don't tell anyone.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41So that's why Amber and Brandon split up.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43I thought he dumped her.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- No.- God, it's so... - Humiliating.- Yeah, and...
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- Sleazy.- And...- Gross!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51- Poor Amber!- Yeah.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54It doesn't mean I'm going to let her have Leon.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08I know you and Rocky are going through a bad patch.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12No, we're not going through a bad patch, it's completely finished.
0:08:12 > 0:08:13Well, what ever.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15But remember this, Viva,
0:08:15 > 0:08:18forgiveness is a flower that blossoms in the manure of pain.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20- What?- You and Rocky need to talk,
0:08:20 > 0:08:23because communication is the rain that makes that flower grow.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Right. Thanks, Dad.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28This his inspirational quotes app?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30I think he's making up his own material now.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32So many baby names to choose from.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36I'm thinking something unusual, maybe nature-related.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Sunshine, Misty, Rainbow, Storm.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Tsunami. Tornado? Typhoon?
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Typhoid!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47I know you're hurting. Rocky should never have kissed Holli at
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Brandon's party, but it's probably Dominique's fault because she told
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Kes that Holli fancied Rocky, and if she hadn't have...
0:08:52 > 0:08:54How do you know all of this?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Well, you know me and Rocky text each other.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Anyway, I've asked him round so you two can talk.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Well, I won't talk to him, so you can just text him
0:09:02 > 0:09:03and tell him not to come.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05DOOR BELL
0:09:05 > 0:09:06He's here.
0:09:06 > 0:09:11Fine. I'll just jump off the balcony and he can talk to my broken,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14- bleeding corpse.- That would solve the bedroom problem.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19It shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Why did you do it?
0:09:21 > 0:09:24That is exactly the question I want to know the answer to myself.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Cos it's like one minute you're all
0:09:26 > 0:09:29tattooing my name on yourself and then you're snogging my best mate.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32I know, I know. I've still got that tattoo, by the way.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35That tattoo is going nowhere, our bond is strong, emotional.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Yeah, plus the ink is like three layers down.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Oh, more than that, it's penetrated through like seven layers,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42cos that's how big a deal this is to me.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44You haven't even got seven layers.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45It's not just in my epidermis.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Viva, it's in my dermis.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53I just want you to tell me the truth, why did you do it?
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- I was trying to make you jealous. - Oh, my God, Rocky!
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- Plus I was wasted! - That is not an excuse!
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Why does everyone think being wasted is such a good excuse?
0:10:01 > 0:10:05It's pathetic! And you made me lose my best friend.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Just leave.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Snowdrop, Bluebell, Jasmine...
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- Flower names are too cliched. - Are they?
0:10:12 > 0:10:15You should be thinking more...fruits.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Satsuma!
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Satsuma Bennett.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- I like it.- We don't have to make a decision now.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23We could even wait until after she's born.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27No, but the baby shower's soon, and I want to give people time to get the gifts personalised.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30What about a satsuma theme for the baby shower?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32No, Jamie, the theme's pink.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35It's going to be a beautiful celebration of the mama-to-be.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39And I've spent a fortune on cakes and booze, so they'd better get me good presents.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- See you, Rob. Later, bruv. - Call me if you need me.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Bye, Mrs Hitchcock. Thanks for having me.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50I'm thinking you should go easy on him.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52You know, he's pretty cut up about the break-up.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Why is everybody on Rocky's side?
0:10:54 > 0:10:58The thing to remember, Viva, is that the dude was wasted.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00No. I don't care. That's not an excuse.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Just because you're drunk,
0:11:02 > 0:11:04it doesn't mean you can do what you want.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07"Oh, I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend, but I was wasted."
0:11:07 > 0:11:10"I'm sorry I set fire to your dog, but I was wasted."
0:11:10 > 0:11:13"Oh, I'm sorry I blew up planet earth, but I was wasted!"
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Being wasted doesn't make anything OK!
0:11:19 > 0:11:21(I think her period must be due.)
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I mean, I can check, cos I keep a note of everyone's period
0:11:24 > 0:11:27in my pukka pad so they can't lie to me and get off games.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Yep, I know the menstrual pattern of every girl in Greenshoots Academy.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Ugh!
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Aw!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42I know something very interesting about Leon.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44What? What, tell me?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46What are you doing? The freeze-out, remember?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Shame you're giving me the freeze-out,
0:11:48 > 0:11:50cos I know exactly who Leon likes.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52But, you ain't talking to me, so I can't tell you, can I?
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Oh, come on, Holli, just tell us.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57We need to know who's got to wax off all their body hair off
0:11:57 > 0:12:00before the weekend. (Saz needs a lot of notice.)
0:12:00 > 0:12:02(A lot.)
0:12:02 > 0:12:05(Probably too late for this weekend.)
0:12:05 > 0:12:07What's the matter with you?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09We need to get Viva to end the freeze-out so Holli tells us
0:12:09 > 0:12:10who Leon likes.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- You're not still talking about that Leon?- I've got an idea.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15We get dressed-up and we walk past his house.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Yeah, that's a shit plan, Amber.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Holli knows who Leon likes,
0:12:18 > 0:12:20but she won't tell us cos of the freeze-out.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- What are you saying? - We can't freeze her out for ever.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25You was broken up with Rocky and they was both...
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Do not say "wasted"!
0:12:27 > 0:12:29..at a party.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32And anyway, I'm worried about her, I think she's sad.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Oh, she'll be fine. She's got loads of mates.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37She'll find another crew easy as.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- Hey, wassup, girl? - GIRLS: Fuck off, Brandon!
0:12:40 > 0:12:42If he did to me what he'd done to you, I would...
0:12:42 > 0:12:46- How do you know what he did? - Er, Viva told me.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Brandon told me.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51He wanted me to talk to you and help him make up with you,
0:12:51 > 0:12:54but I was like, "no". That boy is a snake.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57- Total snake.- Massive snake. We're freezing him out too, of course.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59It's so disgusting.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Your sister, Brandon, in bed -
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- doing it. - Not sure this is helping,
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Saz. What did he say when you caught them together?
0:13:07 > 0:13:10He said, "Hey Amber, want to join in?"
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Oh, no...
0:13:11 > 0:13:13SHE CRIES
0:13:14 > 0:13:15# It's a wonder at all
0:13:16 > 0:13:18# It's a wonder at all
0:13:18 > 0:13:20# That I
0:13:20 > 0:13:23# Survived the war. #
0:13:23 > 0:13:26And that's why I think Saz should let me have Leon.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29To help me get over Brandon.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30- No.- Ugh!
0:13:35 > 0:13:37# I won't surrender...
0:13:41 > 0:13:43# I will fight better... #
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Do you want a game?
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Fuck off then, you little arseholes!
0:13:49 > 0:13:50# You knocked me down
0:13:50 > 0:13:53# And I will find my way around
0:13:53 > 0:13:57# I won't surrender...
0:13:59 > 0:14:02# This is war. #
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Charlie and me loved the film of you munching on Rocky's face
0:14:10 > 0:14:13and Viva going off blubbing her eyes out. So funny.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15There was a film?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18And Charlie and me are thinking, you might fit into our group.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20What, the super-fake bitches group?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Yeah.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25We've got an opening after Charlie discovered one of Lauren's
0:14:25 > 0:14:27nipples was inverted and asked her to leave.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Why would I want to be a super-fake bitch?
0:14:29 > 0:14:33One woman's super-fake bitch is another woman's super-fierce hottie.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37What's in it for me?
0:14:37 > 0:14:39So many benefits.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41You get to go straight to the front of the lunch queue,
0:14:41 > 0:14:45no-one messes with you, and you get your own little year seven slave,
0:14:45 > 0:14:48who goes down to the bus stop and warms you a space on the wall.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Nah.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54You get invited to every party and you get to go to all the clubs,
0:14:54 > 0:14:56because Charlie knows people.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Could Charlie get us into Fuck A Footballer Night at Freakout?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01We've been loads.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Plus, we'd be prepared to share all our little tips
0:15:04 > 0:15:08and tricks to get you looking as fierce as us.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09You want to give me a make over?
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Face it Holli, there's only one hair colour, and it's not...
0:15:15 > 0:15:16..burgundy.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18MUSIC: Infinity Guitars by Sleigh Bells
0:15:24 > 0:15:25# Ah-ah-ah!
0:15:25 > 0:15:27# Deaf chords
0:15:27 > 0:15:28# Dead ends
0:15:28 > 0:15:31# Sling sets can't meet their demands
0:15:31 > 0:15:32# Dumb whores
0:15:32 > 0:15:34# Best friends
0:15:34 > 0:15:36# Infinity guitars, go head. #
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Told you she'd be fine.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40There's Leon!
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Wish I knew who he was waving at.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48Just be normal and find a way to give him your phone number.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54So Vic East squeezes this guy's neck until his tongue shoots out,
0:15:54 > 0:15:58and then he staple-guns the guy's tongue to a tree.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Talking of mouths, I've got this weird talent.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04I can sing my phone number to the tune of God Save The Queen.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- SINGS:- # 02079...
0:16:07 > 0:16:10# 460124
0:16:10 > 0:16:13# That is my number. #
0:16:13 > 0:16:15I'll tell you what's really strange,
0:16:15 > 0:16:18I've the exact same phone number as my sister, except for one number,
0:16:18 > 0:16:25so she's, like, 07700 900 936, and I'm, like, 07700 900 935.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29That's 07700 900 935.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30And I can say it slow.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32- SLOWLY:- 077...
0:16:32 > 0:16:34And I do it to other tunes too.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37- SINGS: (JINGLE BELLS TUNE) - # 02070460124!
0:16:37 > 0:16:40# 02070460124! Hey! #
0:16:40 > 0:16:43I've also got this weird habit of doodling my phone number
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- on everything. Everything, you know? - This one's a bit trickier.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48SHE BEATBOXES EASTENDERS THEME
0:16:48 > 0:16:52SINGS: # 0207946...
0:16:52 > 0:16:57# 012... four-or-or-or #
0:16:58 > 0:17:01And I do requests, any tune at all.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Can you do it to Empire State Of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys?
0:17:04 > 0:17:05OPERA MUSIC
0:17:15 > 0:17:20Holli, babe, you're getting lipstick on your... What is that thing?
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Pasty.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Watch how we eat so lippy doesn't go on our food.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Bitch is wearing my perfume!
0:17:32 > 0:17:34There was a big 'whoosh' of it as she went by.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Faye, pop over there
0:17:35 > 0:17:38and explain to Miss Obesity she can't wear Charlie's perfume.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42And while you're over there, tell her she needs to lose 17 pounds.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45That's stupid, you can't stop other people buying that perfume.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Um, I don't think I heard Charlie directly address you.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Yeah, so?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53I thought I explained this to you.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57You don't speak directly to Charlie unless she speaks to you.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58CHARLIE COUGHS FAINTLY
0:17:58 > 0:18:00My throat's getting dry.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04What are you all looking at me for?
0:18:04 > 0:18:05I think I need a coke.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09- Charlie needs you to get her a coke. - What?
0:18:09 > 0:18:14It's your job now. Off you go. Quick! Quick!
0:18:14 > 0:18:15Charlie's thirsty.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19THEY GIGGLE
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Thank you, Holli.
0:18:31 > 0:18:32CHARLIE SCREAMS
0:18:34 > 0:18:39So what's going on? Is this a freeze-out?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42- I thought so. - It's all a bit complicated, Sir.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45- I think I'll cope.- OK.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49Basically, I kissed Viva's boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Who I only dumped a few days ago.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53And I hate Brandon, cos he two-timed me with my sister.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55I haven't told anyone, but...
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Everyone knows. Meanwhile this guy called Leon really likes me.
0:18:58 > 0:18:59Or me.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00Probably me, though.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01Only I know who he likes best.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02But she won't tell anyone.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05We're doing a freeze-out on Holli after what she done to Viva.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08I still like Amber and I shouldn't have banged her sister, but...
0:19:08 > 0:19:09SHE SOBS
0:19:09 > 0:19:10I was wasted.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11I was wasted.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13- BOTH:- She was wasted.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Being wasted is no excuse.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16I told you it's complicated.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18And how do you feel about Viva?
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Well, seeing as you're asking,
0:19:19 > 0:19:21I fucking hate her for freezing me out,
0:19:21 > 0:19:24cos she's my best friend and I love her.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Have you said sorry?
0:19:26 > 0:19:28No, I ain't. Why should I say sorry?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30To show you're sorry?
0:19:30 > 0:19:32What? I need to get her a really expensive present
0:19:32 > 0:19:34or take her to Nandos?
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Well, you need to think about what's practical.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38What would you do if it was you?
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Say your boyfriend caught you snogging Mr Perkins,
0:19:40 > 0:19:41that new PE geezer.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44I'm not about to discuss my private life with you, Holli.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46I've seen you and your boyfriend in the Chinese buffet.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Thank you Holli.- You're a devil for them pork balls,
0:19:49 > 0:19:51if you don't mind me saying, Sir.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53I can't believe Brandon asked you to join in on a threesome.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55He's so disgusting.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58No, though we did sort of have a threesome once at Brandon's house
0:19:58 > 0:20:00when we was having sex in the dark
0:20:00 > 0:20:03and his dog joined in and we didn't realise for ages.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- His dog.- How could you not realise?
0:20:05 > 0:20:08I just thought I'm lucky Brandon is such a skilful lover.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12I mean, eventually I thought, no, he can't be licking my boobs
0:20:12 > 0:20:14and licking my toes at the same time.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18So I turned on the light and there was Brandon, licking my toes.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Who is he waving at?
0:20:25 > 0:20:30It's like he thinks we know who he likes, but we don't.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Well, don't look at me, I've got no idea.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34I think he's a creepy loser.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37There's got to be a way of finding out who he likes.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Maybe we could write him a note saying,
0:20:39 > 0:20:42"Do you want to do one of us? Tick A for Amber and B for Saz."
0:20:42 > 0:20:44That's a dumb idea. And I'm not being B.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47I think I'll leave you two to sort this one out on your own.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50I still think we should get dressed up and walk past his house.
0:20:54 > 0:21:00Jaslene, Jadene, Ashlene, Charlene, Nadine, Bergamot.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01Berga-who?
0:21:01 > 0:21:06Bergamot. Bergamot, it's a beautiful fruit, a bit like an orange.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Can't we just move away from the citrus?
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Burger for short. "Nice, Burger, come and get your dinner."
0:21:17 > 0:21:19# Now there was a time
0:21:21 > 0:21:24# When you loved me so
0:21:26 > 0:21:28# I could've been wrong
0:21:29 > 0:21:32# But needed to know
0:21:34 > 0:21:36# So how you like me now?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38# How you like me now?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40# How you like me now?
0:21:40 > 0:21:42# How you like me now?!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44# How you like me now?! #
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Hello?
0:21:46 > 0:21:48# How you like me now?! #
0:22:00 > 0:22:01DOOR BELL
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- Hiya!- Are you drunk?
0:22:07 > 0:22:10You must be, cos you look pleased to see me.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11You having a party?
0:22:11 > 0:22:14It's Anna's baby shower today, so you definitely cannot come in.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Wait, don't, don't shut the door.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18You need to help me with Amber.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26People think I'm boring and annoying,
0:22:26 > 0:22:29but you have to take responsa-bitilly.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33Responsa-litibby. You have to take that thing I can't say.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Are you dancing?
0:22:37 > 0:22:39No.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Cos if people don't take responsa...
0:22:43 > 0:22:46That thing I can't say, then there's no accounta-bitilly.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Accounta-litibby.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Basically, if people don't take that thing I can't say, then
0:22:53 > 0:22:57there's no that other thing I can't say, but it's like nobody gets that.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Idiots.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03You've got a very beautiful face.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05You're only just noticing that?
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Your cheekbones are...
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Damn! That is like a 47 degree angle, Brandon.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24You're good at this shit.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Oh, yeah.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27I thought you'd be one of them girls that kisses like them
0:23:27 > 0:23:30up-tight bitches that is afraid of catching something.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33I'm not afraid of catching nothing.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Why, have you got something? - No, I'm clean as a whistle.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- I'm so drunk, Brandon.- Yeah, me too.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43But don't worry, we can still do it.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45That will not be a problem.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47I'm just really sad, Brandon.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51I've lost my best friend, and I've lost Justin Timberlake.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53You lost who?
0:23:53 > 0:23:56He's gone. My little Timberlake is gone.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59I went to look for him, but it was no good.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05No, it's a horse.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08No, it's a horse.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11It's a horse!
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Whoa! This has got court case written all over it,
0:24:14 > 0:24:15and I ain't down for that.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Look, I'm sorry, Viva, we can hook up when you're sober,
0:24:18 > 0:24:19but for now, I'm out.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22I'm not going to have sex with you when I'm sober!
0:24:22 > 0:24:24So what are you doing kissing me on your bed then?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26I don't know.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Oh, my God.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Oh, just fuck off, Brandon!
0:24:33 > 0:24:35I'm the worst friend ever.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Oh, God!
0:24:39 > 0:24:40TOILET FLUSHES
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Flamingo smoothie.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45DOOR BELL
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Go away Brandon, you can't come in!
0:24:51 > 0:24:52DOOR BELL
0:24:52 > 0:24:54I said go...
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Why did you shout, "Go away, Brandon"?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Is Brandon here? I can smell him.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Lynx Dark Temptation, that's his weekday smell.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05No, of course he's not here. Why would he be here?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07So why did you just shout, "Go away, Brandon"?
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Cos he was such a bastard to Amber.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Are you drunk?
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Yes. Are you?
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Viva, we need to stop the freeze-out,
0:25:17 > 0:25:19cos we need to know who Leon likes.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Holli knows and we need to know, cos it's basically killing us.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Oh, pink cakes! I like pink cake!
0:25:24 > 0:25:26No, they're for Anna's baby shower!
0:25:27 > 0:25:30You had Brandon in here, didn't you?
0:25:30 > 0:25:32- No.- Yes, you did, admit it.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35OK, fine, but nothing happened, much.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Viva! How could you do that, after Holli and Rocky?
0:25:38 > 0:25:41- It's completely different. - Brandon's our worst enemy.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45- I know. I know, but I was wasted. - Huh!
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Oh, God.
0:25:47 > 0:25:48These cakes are lovely.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Hi, we're home!
0:25:50 > 0:25:53What's happened to my special cupcakes?
0:25:54 > 0:25:57I'm not happy about this, Rob. It's theft.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59If I'd done this back home my dad would have put me
0:25:59 > 0:26:01in the field with the bull!
0:26:01 > 0:26:05We don't have a bull, but we'll let her off with a verbal warning.
0:26:05 > 0:26:06DOOR BELL
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Go on, my guests are arriving, Jamie, go on.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Oh, shit, Rob, three of the bottles of fizz have gone!
0:26:11 > 0:26:13I trusted you, Viva.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15It's not all Viva's fault, Miss Bitchcock.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17I ate two of the cakes.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19I don't care, I'm coming in.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Whoa. What is it? Is it for the baby?
0:26:23 > 0:26:24It's a horse.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Oh, yes, but what is it?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28It's a horse.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32I wanted a fucking bugaboo buggy, not a fuck-ugly pony!
0:26:32 > 0:26:33It's not even pink!
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Oh, hi, Nessie, hi, Kate.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40Sorry about the pony, it's Rob's daughter, she's a fucking idiot!
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Ah, gifts! What did you get me?
0:26:45 > 0:26:47I'm sorry about Rocky, Viva.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50I've never been this close to a real horse.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53I got him from my cousin who's a gypsy.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Got to give him back tomorrow. He's not Timberlake, but...
0:26:57 > 0:27:01Thank you. And I'm sorry I've been such a bitch.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05Oh, yay! We're all friends again, I'm so happy!
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Now Holli can tell us which of us Leon likes, me or Saz.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10- Bet it's me.- No, it's Viva.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13What? Why? Why does everyone like Viva?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15So he likes Viva?
0:27:15 > 0:27:18So me and Saz sat through Orgy Of Guts I and II for nothing?
0:27:18 > 0:27:19I enjoyed them.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21He fucking stinks!
0:27:21 > 0:27:24If he shits in here, I'm literally going to make you eat it!
0:27:24 > 0:27:26Take him outside, Viva.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Anna, remember, "Calm mama, calm baba."
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Oh, Jesus, I feel like I might give birth right now!
0:27:31 > 0:27:32- Remember, calm.- Oh, shut up!
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Come on, Jellybean. Jellybean?
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Jellybean.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Jellybean Bennett...
0:27:46 > 0:27:47Amber?
0:27:49 > 0:27:51I've got something to tell you.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55# People keep saying I'm doing it wrong
0:27:55 > 0:27:58# But I say it feels all right
0:27:58 > 0:28:03# I really do try, really do try Really do try
0:28:03 > 0:28:07# There's a million things that I could change
0:28:07 > 0:28:09# But maybe it's all right
0:28:09 > 0:28:13# Cos this is my life, this is my life, this is my life. #
0:28:17 > 0:28:18Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd