Episode 2

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0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains very strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature.

0:00:11 > 0:00:13# There's a million things that I can change

0:00:13 > 0:00:16# But maybe it's all right

0:00:16 > 0:00:19# This is my life, this is my life

0:00:19 > 0:00:21# This is my life... #

0:00:21 > 0:00:23I'm going to ring you loads. I wish you were coming.

0:00:23 > 0:00:25Oh, Viva, it's going to be sick,

0:00:25 > 0:00:29heading off to festival with the girls, no parents,

0:00:29 > 0:00:31no rules, no school work.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34Isn't that great? Though I will be taking a bit of revision.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36To festival? Revision?

0:00:36 > 0:00:38You crazy?

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Only the geography.

0:00:40 > 0:00:43And maybe a bit of sociology. Oh, and there's psychology.

0:00:43 > 0:00:46- You will try to chill some of the time?- Of course!

0:00:46 > 0:00:48- But you can trust me.- I know!

0:00:48 > 0:00:51- No, I mean REALLY trust me. - What does that mean?

0:00:51 > 0:00:54Like, you don't want to bang someone else at the festival?

0:00:54 > 0:00:57- Cos I already assumed that, now we're getting married and shit.- Shh!

0:00:57 > 0:01:00Anna might hear. I haven't told them we're getting engaged yet.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03- So, you should tell 'em.- No hurry.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05We can't get married for ages.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07I'll be three years doing a degree

0:01:07 > 0:01:09and then I'm going to want to sort out my career.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12- I'm sure you're going to want to start a career.- Yeah. Maybe.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15- No hurry.- But you will.

0:01:15 > 0:01:18Don't worry, I've got a career I'm starting on today.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20OK. That's great. What is it?

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Are you still OK to babysit today, Rocky?

0:01:23 > 0:01:27That's the career you're talking about? Babysitting?

0:01:27 > 0:01:30Yeah! Babysitting. Rob and Anna are having a date night!

0:01:30 > 0:01:32When you have a kid,

0:01:32 > 0:01:35- you have to keep the romance alive. - That's sweet.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38So, for a special surprise, I've had all my pubes waxed off,

0:01:38 > 0:01:40every single one. Your dad's going to go mental.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43Yo, Bean! My favourite little munchkin.

0:01:43 > 0:01:46So, if you come to the bedroom, I'll show you where all her stuff is.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50- She loves Peppa Pig. - Snap! I love Peppa Pig.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52- And she has to have her purple blankie.- Snap again!

0:01:52 > 0:01:54I love purple!

0:01:54 > 0:01:56It's like me and Bean are twins.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58DOOR BELL RINGS

0:01:58 > 0:02:02Hi, it's festival time!

0:02:02 > 0:02:05- It's festival time. - It's festival time.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08So, Uncle Eddie's going to explain everything on the way,

0:02:08 > 0:02:11- but basically, we're going to be selling T-shirts.- Ooh, exciting.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Um...who's Uncle Eddie? - Uncle Eddie from my market job.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18With the money from this, I'm going to be halfway to the £600 I need.

0:02:18 > 0:02:22- What is that 600 for, Holli?- I just need it.- You're not in trouble?

0:02:22 > 0:02:24Me? No. Well...

0:02:24 > 0:02:27not until my mum finds out it was me who took her stash of pills.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30Still, she's got to face the world without tranquillisers one day.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33You do know teenagers die at festivals going crazy on drugs?

0:02:33 > 0:02:37- Yeah, Viva. You're killing my vibe. And Amber's.- My vibe is unkillable.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39My vibe is immortal. Like Jesus.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41Jesus wasn't immortal.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43- They nailed him to a cross and killed him.- Yeah,

0:02:43 > 0:02:45but he bounced back, like my vibe.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47I've just got to call my mum.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49Mmm. What's this?

0:02:49 > 0:02:50I know what that is.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52It's a bird whistle.

0:02:52 > 0:02:53My gran's got one.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57You use it to call birds and get them to call back to you.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59PUFF OF AIR

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Don't know what sort of bird that is...

0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Maybe an owl.- You're doing it wrong.

0:03:04 > 0:03:06GUSH OF AIR

0:03:06 > 0:03:07Don't work.

0:03:07 > 0:03:11I hate to break it to Saz but I don't think she'll be hearing many birds

0:03:11 > 0:03:13- over the music.- She wasn't there.

0:03:13 > 0:03:16Um...I see you found my Shewee.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18Your what?

0:03:18 > 0:03:21It's a device to enable a woman to urinate standing up.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24You simply place the wider end like so,

0:03:24 > 0:03:27and you can pee easily standing up without taking off your clothes.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30The wee comes out of here. I thought it might be useful

0:03:30 > 0:03:32so I don't have to sit on the disgusting portaloos.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34I haven't tried it yet.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36I borrowed it from my cousin. She's used it loads.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39You don't need special equipment to piss standing up.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42There was a technique I learned when I was in the wilderness

0:03:42 > 0:03:45and I didn't want to squat in case a creature got inside my vagina

0:03:45 > 0:03:47- and tried to nest. I'll show you girls, if you like. ALL:- No!

0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Thank you.- Suit yourselves.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53I just hope you never come across a New Zealand jumping shrew.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56- PHONE RINGS - Shush, everyone. My mum's calling me.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Hi, Mum.

0:03:58 > 0:03:59No, not yet.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02I'll call you when I get to Dartmoor.

0:04:02 > 0:04:04No, it's all girls.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07No, Holli, Amber and Viva aren't going. Mum,

0:04:07 > 0:04:11they're not even in the All-Female Sikh Orienteering Society!

0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Oh!- You're a scarily good liar.

0:04:14 > 0:04:15I never knew.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17Never been away from home with friends before.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19It's going to be so amazing and awesome.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22- Being with new people who don't think I'm weird.- Hang on.

0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Are you going to start acting not weird, then?- Don't take any notice.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27We don't think you're weird.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30- It's just everyone else who does. - Holli's got a point.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33When I act like me, people think I'm weird.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36- So maybe I should act like someone else.- Anyone in particular?

0:04:36 > 0:04:40- No. - Uncle Eddie's outside. Let's go.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44- Rocky, we're going.- Festival, whoo! - Whoo!

0:04:44 > 0:04:46DULL THUD

0:04:46 > 0:04:49# Up and down and around again

0:04:49 > 0:04:52# Oh, you get up, you get down and you try it again

0:04:52 > 0:04:55# Up and down and around again

0:04:55 > 0:04:59# Oh, you get up, you get down and you try it again... #

0:04:59 > 0:05:02- What have you been doing in there, Amber?- Just arranging my bedroom.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04What have you guys been doing out here?

0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Getting my festival buzz on. - I've been texting Rocky.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10- Oh, texting Rocky? You been planning the wedding?- No.- Oh.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12I thought when people get engaged,

0:05:12 > 0:05:15- the next thing they did was plan the wedding?- No!

0:05:15 > 0:05:17The wedding is way off. WAY off.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21- WAY off!- So, what sort of dress are you going to have?

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Thinking about the dress is way off.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25OK, but can I just check?

0:05:25 > 0:05:28This is so obvious, I probably don't even need to say it,

0:05:28 > 0:05:31but we're going to be your bridesmaids, right?

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Amber, stop defining me as someone who's getting married.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36I'm not being a poncey bridesmaid.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38I've been one. I look like a gold sausage. Not doing that again.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40There might not even be any bridesmaids.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42All of that stuff is way off in the future.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44I'll be the DJ, though. For a cheap rate.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Hello, everyone.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49- I'm happy to be a bridesmaid, Viva. - Oh! I love your top!

0:05:49 > 0:05:51Wait, is that my top?

0:05:51 > 0:05:53No. Huckle time!

0:05:53 > 0:05:55PHONE BEEPS

0:05:55 > 0:05:57Uncle Eddie wants us to report for duty.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12- What are you all staring at? - Don't ask me.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15- He usually wears jeans and a T-shirt.- Punters love this.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Who wants a beer? Here we go.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20I've got one rule - everything you sell goes in this book.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22Don't think you can try and trick me,

0:06:22 > 0:06:24because no matter how arseholed I get,

0:06:24 > 0:06:26not that I will get arseholed,

0:06:26 > 0:06:28I always know how much money there should be.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- If I make a bundle, you'll get a bonus.- Hi, Eddie.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33All right, Bubbles. That's Bubbles.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35She sells soap next door.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38I'll be round in a minute to get you in a lather.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Now, seeing as I'm in loco parentis for the weekend,

0:06:41 > 0:06:43I think I should have a word with you about drugs.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45- Thank you!- Here we go.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47No, this is important.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49Some people say you shouldn't take drugs.

0:06:49 > 0:06:50I say you should take drugs.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Some people say drugs are not good for you,

0:06:52 > 0:06:55I say they are good for you.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Some people say drugs fuck up your brain.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00Yeah, well, that one's probably true.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02But that's what's so bloody great about them.

0:07:02 > 0:07:05- Yes, Viv?- Well, it's our first time away from home,

0:07:05 > 0:07:08- so we probably shouldn't be taking any drugs.- What's that, Grandma(?)

0:07:08 > 0:07:10It's our first time away from home

0:07:10 > 0:07:12so we probably shouldn't be taking any drugs?

0:07:12 > 0:07:14That's like saying it's our first time on Mars

0:07:14 > 0:07:16- so we won't try and shag the aliens! - Not really.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19Or it's our first time in Korea, so we won't eat roasted doggie!

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Sorry, but it's actually nothing like that.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Live for today, Viv.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Do it all, be it all, take it all, get wasted,

0:07:26 > 0:07:28shag everyone and try and have a fucking good laugh.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30Will you do that for me?

0:07:30 > 0:07:32"Yes, Uncle Eddie!"

0:07:32 > 0:07:33Yes, Uncle Eddie.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36- All of you? ALL:- Yes, Uncle Eddie.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Uncle Eddie? - Yes, Amber.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40I hope you don't mind me saying...

0:07:40 > 0:07:43I don't think that lipstick's your colour.

0:07:43 > 0:07:44Really?

0:07:44 > 0:07:45Too pink?

0:07:48 > 0:07:51What he said was totally irresponsible.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53- He just wants us to enjoy ourselves. - OK, that's fine,

0:07:53 > 0:07:55we all want to enjoy ourselves,

0:07:55 > 0:07:58but just remember, our brains are not fully formed yet,

0:07:58 > 0:08:01- so taking drugs will literally hurt our brains.- You're not our mum, Viv.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03We all understand.

0:08:05 > 0:08:06What about this one?

0:08:10 > 0:08:13# I ain't got nobody

0:08:13 > 0:08:15# And nobody's got me

0:08:15 > 0:08:19# I'm a lonesome cowboy... #

0:08:22 > 0:08:25- Saz, why are you doing this? - Doing what?

0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Copying Amber. - I'm not copying Amber.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Your wings are upside down, by the way.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32I'm experimenting with my personality.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35- There's nothing wrong with your personality.- I wouldn't say nothing.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38- Why can't you just be you? - Amber's popular.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41People don't think she's weird and she makes lots of friends

0:08:41 > 0:08:45- and boys like her. - Hey, we're neighbours!

0:08:45 > 0:08:46- IMITATES AMBER:- Hey!

0:08:46 > 0:08:50Thank God! Last year we were next to this couple with baby twins

0:08:50 > 0:08:52who just cried all night.

0:08:52 > 0:08:54You don't have baby twins, do you?

0:08:54 > 0:08:55No!

0:08:55 > 0:08:57Or a saxophone? Bongos?

0:08:57 > 0:08:58No!

0:08:58 > 0:08:59SAZ GIGGLES MANIACALLY

0:08:59 > 0:09:03- I'm Tonka, this is Wombat and Ian. - Are you brothers?

0:09:03 > 0:09:06No, we just all look the same cos we're wearing stripy tops.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09- I can't tell you apart. - I'm the one with the massive cock.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11- Oh.- He's pissed. Ignore him.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14So, there's three of you and three of us.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17- No, there's four of us. She's with us.- Who wants a beer?

0:09:17 > 0:09:19- I'll have a beer. - You've already got one.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21Finished it.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31- And that one. - Wow.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34- Thirsty. - Never seen a girl do that before.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Bet you'd like to see me do that again.- I would.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38Give us another beer, then.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40So, who wants to go see some bands?

0:09:40 > 0:09:44- What's he doing?- He's tying his pants to the tent so we can find our way back to base.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Smart thinking.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48If in doubt, look for Ian's pants.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51You're also welcome to look for my pants

0:09:51 > 0:09:53or in them. It's up to you.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56She's not interested, thanks. So back right off.

0:09:56 > 0:09:57Manners, Viva.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00SHE BURPS

0:10:00 > 0:10:03# I let it go cos I won't see you later

0:10:03 > 0:10:05# And we're not allowed to talk it out

0:10:05 > 0:10:07# I said I'd go, put myself on show

0:10:07 > 0:10:10# But I'm still trying to figure it out

0:10:10 > 0:10:12# Broke my shoe Fell and tripped on you

0:10:12 > 0:10:14# But you didn't know I planned it out

0:10:14 > 0:10:16# I said I'd go Yeah, I won't see you later

0:10:16 > 0:10:18# And we're not allowed to figure it out... #

0:10:23 > 0:10:25- That was amazing.- I know!

0:10:25 > 0:10:28I've never seen a queue for the toilets that long before.

0:10:28 > 0:10:29I meant the band.

0:10:29 > 0:10:32But yeah, it was an awesome toilet queue.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35I wish we didn't have to spend all night with those three fools

0:10:35 > 0:10:38- from the next tent. - We were just having a laugh.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41- You've got a boyfriend now. What about Connor?- What about him?

0:10:41 > 0:10:44Should you really be letting boys who aren't your boyfriend

0:10:44 > 0:10:47- try to guess the weight of your breasts?- She was just mucking about.

0:10:47 > 0:10:48One guy was surprisingly accurate.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51I didn't think you'd be on Holli's side, Amber,

0:10:51 > 0:10:53- seeing as you've been cheated on. - Holli hasn't cheated.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55Depends on what you mean by "cheating"?

0:10:55 > 0:10:58Is letting a strange boy do this just a bit of fun?

0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Oh, that is such a cute pic of you two.- Festival's different.

0:11:01 > 0:11:05It's like a parallel universe, it doesn't seem real.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07When we go home, we'll never see them again.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09Tonka lives down the road from us.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13- I'm going to bed.- I can't go to bed without saying goodnight to Rocky.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Oh, I can't get through to him, the network's busy.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18- You're not married yet. - Just relax and have a beer.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20No, thank you.

0:11:20 > 0:11:24I want to stay completely in control of myself. Somebody has to!

0:11:24 > 0:11:28Night-night, everyone. My first sleep at festival.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Whoa!

0:11:47 > 0:11:49That was weird. I went for a wee in the night

0:11:49 > 0:11:51and woke up in the wrong tent!

0:11:51 > 0:11:54- You spent all night in a stranger's tent?- I know! I'm mental!

0:11:54 > 0:11:57But they're not strangers any more.

0:11:57 > 0:12:00- They're new friends - Hannah, CC and Josie.- I can't wait to meet them.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02CC just texted.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04I left my teddy behind.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06You can borrow one of mine.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08It's just as well they were nice people.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10It could have been dangerous.

0:12:10 > 0:12:13Maybe we should do night-time toilet trips in pairs?

0:12:13 > 0:12:15I didn't bother leaving the tent. I did this.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17And this.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21And this. And this. And this.

0:12:23 > 0:12:24And this.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27That's about three-and-a-half litres of wee.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Wow!

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Your aim must be so epic.

0:12:35 > 0:12:3712 I Fuck For Cokes,

0:12:37 > 0:12:39seven Festival Virgins, six No-one Cares

0:12:39 > 0:12:41and 27 I'm A Cunts.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Good old I'm A Cunt. It's my top seller every year.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45How do you think sales are going?

0:12:45 > 0:12:47Sales are going excellently.

0:12:47 > 0:12:51- So we're going to get the bonus?- I can't guarantee. I've signed nothing,

0:12:51 > 0:12:53there's nothing on paper, but if you keep it up,

0:12:53 > 0:12:55- you're on course for the bonus.- Yes!

0:12:55 > 0:12:58I never thought I'd be able to save up the £600 in time.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00- Maybe I will. - In time for what, Holli?

0:13:00 > 0:13:03- You're not pregnant? - No, Viv, I use condoms. Always.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05No glove, no love.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07No bag, no shag.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10All right, you guys hold the fort. I'm just popping to the soap stall.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13- Again?- I'm a very dirty boy.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Hiya!

0:13:15 > 0:13:17I've done everything!

0:13:17 > 0:13:20I've been to every stall, I've seen every band, I learned to juggle,

0:13:20 > 0:13:23I snogged a hippy, I ate a sausage from a special pig

0:13:23 > 0:13:26and then I crowd-surfed. It was like I could fly.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28- I tried to crowd-surf.- Poor Sazzy.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30The crowd just didn't want to surf her.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32Show them the footprint, Saz.

0:13:32 > 0:13:35- At least it was a bit different. - Yeah.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38People have never stamped on my kidneys in time to Get Lucky before.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41- So, you two taking over the stall now?- Um...yeah,

0:13:41 > 0:13:43I just need to go toilet first.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46- See you in an hour! - See you in an hour!

0:13:46 > 0:13:48She can't even skip properly.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08You were ages. The queue must have been ridiculous.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11We finished that a while ago. I went to the dream store,

0:14:11 > 0:14:14I bought myself some enchanted pink dream potion

0:14:14 > 0:14:17- that'll dream the face of my future husband.- I got some pink water, too.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20- I mean potion.- Right, so it's me and Viva's turn

0:14:20 > 0:14:22to go get mangled and party our tits off. Right, Viva?

0:14:22 > 0:14:25Right. I definitely want to do that,

0:14:25 > 0:14:28but first, I'm going to nip back to the tent and call Rocky.

0:14:28 > 0:14:31Don't go back to the tent. That'll take beer time. Ring him from here.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34- The service is crap here. Plus, it's quieter there.- Fuck's sake,

0:14:34 > 0:14:37we didn't come here to be quiet. Stop acting like a teacher.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40- You're boring everyone shitless. - Leave her alone.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43Viva's happy being the boring, sensible one.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45Do you think I'm being boring?

0:14:45 > 0:14:48I think you're happy being the boring, sensible one.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50This is about last night.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53Just cos I didn't want to help you push over Wombat's portaloo.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55- Don't you want to have fun? - Don't worry about me.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58Just cos I'm engaged doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01I know how to have a laugh and break the rules

0:15:01 > 0:15:03IF it's appropriate to do so.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06I haven't even brushed my teeth today.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12Don't go, Viva. We're only messing about.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16- I'll teach you to have fun. - That's a bit harsh.- Shut up!

0:15:17 > 0:15:18PHONE BEEPS

0:15:18 > 0:15:20- Fuck's sake.- What's up?

0:15:20 > 0:15:22Nothing.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25I'm fed up with idiots judging me all the time.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28Judge. Judge. Judge. Judge.

0:15:28 > 0:15:29Judge. Judge!

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Do you want a beer?

0:15:33 > 0:15:36Um...yeah. Or something stronger?

0:15:36 > 0:15:39- Vodka and Red Bull? - Or something from Ian's magic box?

0:15:42 > 0:15:45- 'Stop acting like a teacher.- You will try to chill some of the time?

0:15:45 > 0:15:47- 'You're not our mum. - Boring, sensible one.

0:15:47 > 0:15:51- 'Get wasted.- Boring, sensible one. - Boring everyone shitless.'

0:15:51 > 0:15:54# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

0:15:54 > 0:15:57# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

0:15:57 > 0:16:00# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... #

0:16:00 > 0:16:03I can hear the tree. I can hear it grow.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05I'm listening to it grow.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Boom...boom...

0:16:07 > 0:16:09# ..Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

0:16:09 > 0:16:12# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... #

0:16:12 > 0:16:15I feel like you guys are my real friends.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Holli, Saz and Amber, they're OK

0:16:17 > 0:16:21but you guys I can honestly relate to.

0:16:21 > 0:16:23You have really soft skin.

0:16:23 > 0:16:24All those tiny hairs.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27And you're an amazing dancer. I'm an amazing dancer, too.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30Probably the best dancer that I know.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33- Why don't you take all your clothes off?- Jesus, Wombat, you sleazer.

0:16:33 > 0:16:37- Just leave her alone. - Are you kidding? He's beautiful.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39Can you do this?

0:16:42 > 0:16:45I've been practising that in my bedroom for ages.

0:16:45 > 0:16:48I was always afraid to do it in public, but now

0:16:48 > 0:16:53- it just feels like the right time. - I really fancy Holli.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55You and Holli would be amazing together.

0:16:55 > 0:16:59Do you like dogs? I really want a poodle. Shall we get a flat?

0:16:59 > 0:17:02Are you sure you don't want to take all your clothes off?

0:17:02 > 0:17:03SHE LAUGHS

0:17:08 > 0:17:10I still can't find her. She's been gone for hours.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13- You've got to help me look. - What about the stall?

0:17:13 > 0:17:16- We'll be all right for ten minutes. - We're not supposed to shut the stall

0:17:16 > 0:17:20- without telling Eddie.- So we go tell him. Being so thick lately, Saz.

0:17:20 > 0:17:22Are you in there?

0:17:22 > 0:17:25- Oh, he is in here!- Uncle Eddie.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27Uncle Eddie!

0:17:27 > 0:17:29He's dead.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31- Uncle Eddie's dead.- No, he's not.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Look, his boobs are going up and down.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37Let's leave a note explaining why we needed to shut the stall.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40I really like his boots.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46- Viva!- Viva!

0:17:49 > 0:17:51Viva!

0:18:02 > 0:18:04Viva?

0:18:12 > 0:18:13Viva!

0:18:13 > 0:18:15Viva!

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Viva.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20- Viva.- Viva.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22- Viva!- Viva!

0:18:22 > 0:18:25- There's someone in the tent. - She must be back.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28- Thank God.- The police... - Wait, listen.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30They're outside.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32Tell them I'm not here.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35ZIP OPENS

0:18:37 > 0:18:41- What's going on?- Shh! Holli. The police are outside.

0:18:41 > 0:18:46- Keep very, very quiet.- What happened? What have you done to her?

0:18:46 > 0:18:48Nothing. He wouldn't let me.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50- DULL THUD - Ooh!

0:18:50 > 0:18:53It's them. Don't let them come in.

0:18:53 > 0:18:54(I think Viva's on drugs.)

0:18:54 > 0:18:56What's she taken?

0:18:56 > 0:18:58What hasn't she taken?

0:18:58 > 0:19:01I don't think she took the ketamine. Not like Ian.

0:19:01 > 0:19:05- Ugh.- She doesn't take drugs. She's not like that.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07No, I'm not like that.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09I've got a fiance.

0:19:09 > 0:19:10- DULL THUD - Ooh!

0:19:10 > 0:19:11Don't let the police take me!

0:19:11 > 0:19:14See that Frisbee? See your girlfriend's arsehole?

0:19:14 > 0:19:18That's going up there if it hits our tent one more time!

0:19:18 > 0:19:21What's all these extra sleeping bags doing in here?

0:19:21 > 0:19:25- And this keg?- Our tent got stolen. We were hoping we could crash in here.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27After what you've done to Viva?

0:19:27 > 0:19:30It wasn't our fault. She really wanted to take drugs.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32She just needs to sleep it off.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35- Yes. Sleep. I need sleep. - < Hello!

0:19:35 > 0:19:38Hello, CC. Hello, Hannah. Hello, Josie.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Look, everyone, CC, Hannah and Josie.

0:19:41 > 0:19:45- And they've got my bear. - Seven of them, three of us.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48Whatever ratio there is, you're not getting lucky in this tent!

0:19:48 > 0:19:52CC, Hannah, Josie, this is Holli, Viva, Wombat, Tonka and...

0:19:52 > 0:19:53um...

0:19:53 > 0:19:55That's Ian.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59And Ian! Who wants a beer?

0:20:01 > 0:20:04- You didn't introduce me.- Who's that?

0:20:04 > 0:20:07She's the one that keeps copying Amber.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09AMBER: That's Sazzy!

0:20:09 > 0:20:12- I need to sleep.- Come with me. Bring your sleeping bag.- Tell me,

0:20:12 > 0:20:14honestly, Holli,

0:20:14 > 0:20:16are you in the police?

0:20:16 > 0:20:19# Clear, see-through

0:20:21 > 0:20:23# We are the dreamers

0:20:23 > 0:20:27# With nothing to lose

0:20:27 > 0:20:30# It's all just passing through

0:20:30 > 0:20:35# It's all just passing through... #

0:20:36 > 0:20:39- Don't leave me.- I'm going to stay here till you sleep.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45# ..Whatever it leads you to... #

0:20:45 > 0:20:48OK, show me my future husband.

0:20:48 > 0:20:53# ..It's easy

0:20:56 > 0:21:00# Whatever it leads you to... #

0:21:00 > 0:21:03# Tonight you're mine... #

0:21:03 > 0:21:06DISTORTED CHURCH BELLS

0:21:06 > 0:21:09CRACKLING

0:21:11 > 0:21:13SCREAM

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Thank God for that.

0:21:32 > 0:21:33What?

0:21:35 > 0:21:37I thought you might be Wombat.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40It's not that I'm happy it's you.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43I'm just relieved it's not him, OK?

0:21:45 > 0:21:47You like me?

0:21:49 > 0:21:51SLAPPING EDDIE: It's so good.

0:21:51 > 0:21:55- You make me feel so good. Oh, you bad girl.- Oh, yeah!

0:21:55 > 0:21:58- You naughty, naughty girl. Go on, slap it.- Oh, I will.

0:21:58 > 0:22:00Oh, harder. Harder! Oh, yes, Bubbles.

0:22:00 > 0:22:03- Yeah...- Oh, Bubbles.

0:22:03 > 0:22:04Oh, that feels so good.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07- That feels so good.- Oh... - Oh, Bubbles.

0:22:07 > 0:22:11- Oh, that's so good.- Oh, Eddie. - You know what I like, don't you?

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Go on, slap my arse.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Ohh... Ohh...

0:22:15 > 0:22:17That's so good. Oh...

0:22:17 > 0:22:19ZIP OPENS

0:22:22 > 0:22:25Sorry.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27I'm just going to go now.

0:22:27 > 0:22:28Bye.

0:22:28 > 0:22:31Oh, but I do need my sleeping bag.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36Yeah. Don't worry, I'll just get it later.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41Ohh, Bubbles! Ohh!

0:22:52 > 0:22:55Taking drugs with strangers? So clever(!)

0:22:55 > 0:22:58I expect you just did it to do show us the bad things that can happen

0:22:58 > 0:23:03- when you act like a stupid dickhead. - Yay! Saz is near normal again.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06You were acting so weird this weekend.

0:23:06 > 0:23:07We looked everywhere for you, Viva.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10If you're going to disappear and take drugs, tell your mates!

0:23:10 > 0:23:13I feel so terrible. I think I'm going to puke.

0:23:13 > 0:23:14Viva...

0:23:14 > 0:23:17Holli slept with Tonka in the tent and we could all hear everything,

0:23:17 > 0:23:20- even the little in-and-out sucky noises!- You could not.

0:23:20 > 0:23:24We could. It sounded like this... SHE SLURPS

0:23:24 > 0:23:26She's right. But it was more like this...

0:23:26 > 0:23:28THEY SLURP

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Stop. Stop it. It's making me feel even more sick.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34Is that true, Holli, you slept with Tonka? What about Connor?

0:23:34 > 0:23:36What happens at festival stays at festival.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38No, it doesn't.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40You said you'd meet him next week in London.

0:23:40 > 0:23:43- Got your note about shutting the stall to look for Viv.- We found her.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Yeah. Hello again, Viv.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48So it was all right in the end.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51You left the stall unattended. People stole my gear.

0:23:51 > 0:23:54You shut the stall and buggered off. I've made a loss.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57I'd have been better off staying at home and rubbing jam on myself.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59- We will get the money, right? - Are you mental?

0:23:59 > 0:24:02So...we won't be getting the money?

0:24:02 > 0:24:04- No!- You don't understand. I need that money.

0:24:04 > 0:24:08My mum pawned all her jewellery since my dad's inside. Her rings,

0:24:08 > 0:24:10bangles, gold necklace, belly button dangly thing.

0:24:10 > 0:24:14When my dad comes out, he's expecting her to be wearing it all.

0:24:14 > 0:24:15Please, Uncle Eddie.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18Sorry, Holli. I'm not your cash monkey.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21- I didn't know your dad was coming out yet.- His release date's

0:24:21 > 0:24:23- been brought forward.- That's great.

0:24:23 > 0:24:27- If you're a fan of dogs chewing each other's faces off for money.- I am!

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Oh, no, wait, I am not.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32If he comes out and she's not even wearing her wedding ring,

0:24:32 > 0:24:34it's going to be bad.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37We'll help you save up.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Won't we?- Yeah, course we'll help you.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43I could sell my hair!

0:24:43 > 0:24:46- Saz, what are you doing? - Putting my orienteering trousers on.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48My parents aren't complete idiots.

0:24:57 > 0:25:01We went on the swings, we blew bubbles,

0:25:01 > 0:25:04we did drummer with spoons. What about you? What did you do?

0:25:04 > 0:25:06Oh. I, um...

0:25:08 > 0:25:10Yeah, I had a great time, too.

0:25:10 > 0:25:13But I am glad to be back home, though.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16So, when are we going to tell your dad and Anna about us

0:25:16 > 0:25:19- getting married?- Not yet.

0:25:19 > 0:25:23- Maybe let me get my A Levels out the way first.- Why we waiting?

0:25:23 > 0:25:25You're not having second thoughts?

0:25:25 > 0:25:28- Second thoughts about what? - Something private.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Why are you staring at me?

0:25:33 > 0:25:37I'm practising my death stare. I'm going back to work next week.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40One more word from you, Sheraz Bradley,

0:25:40 > 0:25:43and I'm ringing up your dad and I'm going to tell him you're a slut!

0:25:43 > 0:25:46Don't worry, you're still terrifying.

0:25:46 > 0:25:47Ha, you're sweet. Thanks, Viva.

0:25:47 > 0:25:51I was worried spending too much time with Bean was turning me soft.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Who's going to look after Bean?

0:25:53 > 0:25:55Haven't you told her?

0:25:55 > 0:25:57Told me what?

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Anna's given be a job as Bean's nanny.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02Turns out I'm awesome at looking after babies.

0:26:02 > 0:26:04It basically uses all of my top skills - hugging,

0:26:04 > 0:26:06hanging out at the park...

0:26:06 > 0:26:10Shit! I think I've only got two skills.

0:26:10 > 0:26:13When I started that sentence, I thought there was going to be more.

0:26:13 > 0:26:18So, hang on, you're going to be HERE every day?

0:26:18 > 0:26:22Every day. Just me and Bean spending some quality mellow time.

0:26:22 > 0:26:26- It's like I'm really becoming one of the family.- That's great.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29A bit weird, though, having your boyfriend who's also

0:26:29 > 0:26:31- my baby sister's childminder. - I ain't no childminder, Viva.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34I'm a nanny. Completely different thing.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36A childminder's just some lazy-arse woman

0:26:36 > 0:26:39who sits at home all day while the parents bring the kids to her.

0:26:39 > 0:26:41She just watches TV and shit. I'm providing childcare

0:26:41 > 0:26:44in your own home, and being dynamic.

0:26:44 > 0:26:47And maybe getting in some practice for being a great stay-at-home dad.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49I think I'm going to be sick.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52- Viva?- I am going to be sick.

0:26:52 > 0:26:56It's something that I...ate at festival.

0:26:56 > 0:27:00# People keep saying you're doing it wrong

0:27:00 > 0:27:02# But I'd say it feels all right

0:27:02 > 0:27:05# I really do try, really do try

0:27:05 > 0:27:07# Really do try

0:27:08 > 0:27:11# There's a million things that I can change

0:27:11 > 0:27:14# But maybe it's all right

0:27:14 > 0:27:16# This is my life, this is my life

0:27:16 > 0:27:18# This is my life... #