Episode 4

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0:00:17 > 0:00:22This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24Got to be faster than that. You'll learn, kid.

0:00:24 > 0:00:25Got another tenner for my savings.

0:00:25 > 0:00:28Are you going to have enough to get your mum's jewellery back from the

0:00:28 > 0:00:31- pawn shop?- I'm getting close now. I've got three weeks till my dad

0:00:31 > 0:00:33comes out of prison. Got to do it before then.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36Why worry? When he comes out, he can just steal her some more.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Saz! Stop winding her up on purpose.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40- I'm not winding her up. He can, can't he?- It's OK.

0:00:40 > 0:00:43Old Holli would have mashed her face, but new Holli just floats along,

0:00:43 > 0:00:46- taking it all in her stride.- Why? Has new Holli been taking old Holli's

0:00:46 > 0:00:47mum's tranquillisers?

0:00:47 > 0:00:50- You are very calm. - I dunno. I'm maturing, I guess.

0:00:50 > 0:00:53- Plus, I'm getting a lot of sex now. - Is that your sister?

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Yeah. That's Topaz.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Her boyfriend came to his senses and kicked her out.

0:00:57 > 0:01:01- She moved back home?- Yeah. My mum forced me to get a lift off her.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04- I did not want a lift off her. - Do you want a lift home later?

0:01:04 > 0:01:05No, I don't want a lift home later.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07It's no trouble - I've got the day off.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09Yeah, but you slept with my boyfriend, so I don't like you.

0:01:09 > 0:01:13Oh, come on, Ambie, that was 18 months ago.

0:01:13 > 0:01:15Shall I pick you up at four?

0:01:15 > 0:01:17I'd rather swim home through diarrhoea

0:01:17 > 0:01:19than get a lift home with you.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21I'd rather...

0:01:21 > 0:01:23..rather...

0:01:23 > 0:01:26..swim home through diarrhoea, like I said.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28I wouldn't mind a lift...if you're in the area.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30Well, why don't I give you all a lift?

0:01:30 > 0:01:34I am really sorry about that thing that happened with Brandon.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37- It wasn't a thing. You were the thing.- Come on, Amber.

0:01:37 > 0:01:38See you at 4pm.

0:01:39 > 0:01:43You know, Amber - sometimes we hold on to anger and pain for too long.

0:01:43 > 0:01:47The toxic energy of hating Topaz is really very bad for you.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50It's dragging you down, Amber. It's time to let it go.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52I'll let it go when she un-fucks my boyfriend.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58I want to talk to you today about ambition.

0:01:58 > 0:02:02Who has an ambition they'd like to share with the rest of us?

0:02:02 > 0:02:05- Amber?- I'm going to be a judge.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07You would like to be a judge.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10That is a wonderful ambition, Amber.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12If you work hard, anything is possible.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15I'm going to be a judge on X Factor like Cheryl Cole, and have people

0:02:15 > 0:02:19do my hair and get people giving me free stuff just for being pretty.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22Yeah, thank you, Amber. I'm so inspired to see

0:02:22 > 0:02:25all of your faces shining up at me.

0:02:25 > 0:02:30Blank pages on which your story is not yet written.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33You are the authors of your own stories.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Where is your story going? Who will you be?

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Yes, Amber?

0:02:39 > 0:02:41Cheryl Cole, like I said.

0:02:41 > 0:02:42Thank you, Amber.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45Now, I've got some exciting news for you.

0:02:45 > 0:02:49Greenshoots Academy is being considered

0:02:49 > 0:02:52for the Educating Yorkshire treatment.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Yes, we're down to the last three schools,

0:02:55 > 0:02:59and a small TV team will be here

0:02:59 > 0:03:02to shoot a bit of footage,

0:03:02 > 0:03:03as they call it,

0:03:03 > 0:03:06to give the big cheeses at Channel 4 a taste

0:03:06 > 0:03:10of our dynamic Greenshoots flavour.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12So no showing off.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14Just carry on as normal.

0:03:14 > 0:03:16Thank you, Mr Jefferies.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18I think it's highly unlikely they'll choose us but,

0:03:18 > 0:03:21just in case, try not to stab anyone in the face

0:03:21 > 0:03:25with your biro on camera, Isaac Dawson.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27- I haven't finished.- Oh, sorry.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31I want to talk to you about my ambitions.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34When I was a young boy, it was my ambition to be a dancer.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38- LAUGHTER - Yes, I wanted to be Nureyev.

0:03:40 > 0:03:41People laughed at me.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44My life took a different turn, as you know,

0:03:44 > 0:03:47and I left my dancing dreams behind me.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51- Until now.- Oh, no.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Miss Hitchcock, shall we?

0:03:54 > 0:03:57- Shall we what? - Shall we dance, of course?

0:03:57 > 0:04:00DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:04:04 > 0:04:08- What are you doing?- I'm being the author of my own story.

0:04:24 > 0:04:28- What an arsehole.- Mr Jefferies has been under a lot of strain recently.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Greg dumped him after seven years together.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32- He needs a new focus in life.- Is being principal of an inner city

0:04:32 > 0:04:34school with a dodgy Ofsted

0:04:34 > 0:04:36- rating not enough of a focus? - He's in a bad place at the moment.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39- He's this close to jacking it in. - How do you know all this, Holli?

0:04:39 > 0:04:42He poured his heart out to me when I was helping him cut up Greg's suits.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45- You didn't go to his house?!- No, he brought the suits into school because

0:04:45 > 0:04:47he didn't have any sharp scissors at home.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49Sounds like Mr J is having a breakdown.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51That's why we've got to help him. He's done so much for me.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Getting Greenshoots onto that telly programme could be my way

0:04:54 > 0:04:56- of thanking him.- What even is it? I've never seen it.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59It's this thing on Channel 4 where they film for months in

0:04:59 > 0:05:02real life schools and find really interesting pupils and teachers and

0:05:02 > 0:05:04- tell their stories.- How can you not have seen it?

0:05:04 > 0:05:06My parents only let us watch the Discovery Channel.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08I don't think they'd let us watch that if they saw the filth

0:05:08 > 0:05:10those gibbons get up to.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12- It's like a porn channel for gibbons.- Forget it, girls.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15- There's no way we'll get chosen. - I think Greenshoots could win.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16We've got no chance.

0:05:16 > 0:05:19The other two schools on the short list are South Road High

0:05:19 > 0:05:20and Archbishop Green.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23One's got a 12-year-old genius who builds robots for fun

0:05:23 > 0:05:26and the other's got identical twin hunchbacks.

0:05:26 > 0:05:27What's Greenshoots got?

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Just a shit-load of bog-standard average kids.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33There's no-one special or deformed.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Just boring.

0:05:35 > 0:05:39Well...Jade's pregnant with Mr Edwards' baby.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42Oh...hang on...

0:05:42 > 0:05:44..no, that's a big secret...

0:05:45 > 0:05:48No, she isn't pregnant.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50Fudging heck!

0:05:50 > 0:05:52She's on form, at the moment.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55We'll just keep a lid on this till after the St Thomas's match.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12There's still some pizza left if you want some, Anna.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15I've got no appetite for food, but can you keep the boxes, though?

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Yeah.

0:06:17 > 0:06:18Why do you want the boxes?

0:06:21 > 0:06:24What's the matter with her? Is this about the TV show?

0:06:24 > 0:06:28No, my dad's been chosen to feature on a charity calendar of firemen.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30- Naked?- I'm not sure.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33Anna won't let the calendar in the house.

0:06:33 > 0:06:37It's so silly. Jealousy is such a destructive emotion.

0:06:37 > 0:06:41I don't want other women looking at my man! Drooling over his pecs!

0:06:41 > 0:06:43Yep...it's naked...

0:06:43 > 0:06:47And potentially touching themselves, even if it is for charity.

0:06:47 > 0:06:48DOORBELL RINGS

0:06:48 > 0:06:51- Oh, that'll be Topaz. - Topaz? Huh?

0:06:51 > 0:06:53Can you get that, Holli?

0:06:53 > 0:06:56Listen, hun - this fight with Topaz has gone on for too long.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Yeah, I know she betrayed you, but she's your sister

0:07:02 > 0:07:03and she's the only one you've got.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Hey, everyone!

0:07:05 > 0:07:09Sorry I'm late. These eyelashes are time consuming.

0:07:09 > 0:07:10Worth it, though.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13If eyes are the windows to the soul,

0:07:13 > 0:07:16eyelashes are the curtains.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19They are. Think about it, that's quite deep, actually.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Thanks for coming, Topaz.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23I've been speaking to Amber about the pair of you making up

0:07:23 > 0:07:25and Amber's ready.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Almost ready to move on.

0:07:27 > 0:07:28No, I'm not ready at all.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32She only wants to be friends with me because she's got no friends left

0:07:32 > 0:07:34because she slept with all their boyfriends

0:07:34 > 0:07:36- and now they all hate her.- Ha-ha! That is not true!

0:07:38 > 0:07:41Look, I brought you all some freebies from the salon.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44"Luxury Fruit Body Butter"

0:07:44 > 0:07:45Ooh.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48This smells so lovely.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52It's really nice, Topaz. Look, Amber - free stuff.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54Trying to buy me off. Typical.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Look, please just listen to me, Ambie Wambie,

0:07:57 > 0:07:59I know I did a bad thing.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02- You shagged Brandon!- Yeah, I know, Ambie, but I'm really sorry.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06I just, just really want my sister back.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Oh, go on, Amber, forgive her. Put the past behind you.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12I will do anything to make it all right with you.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Can you arrange for me to get free hair extensions?

0:08:17 > 0:08:20I want Russian virgin hair down to my belly button.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Like a mermaid's hair.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Well, say I did arrange some extensions,

0:08:24 > 0:08:27can the five of us go clubbing this weekend and hang out?

0:08:27 > 0:08:29That would be really nice, wouldn't it, Amber?

0:08:29 > 0:08:32If I get the free hair extensions,

0:08:32 > 0:08:34it might be OK.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37Anything for my baby sister.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43I can't believe I'm getting free hair extensions done!

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Oooh!

0:08:45 > 0:08:49Well done, Amber. Forgiveness is the sign of a mature mind.

0:08:52 > 0:08:54What happened? What did I miss?

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Topaz bought Amber off.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58Topaz, this is my boyfriend, Rocky.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00Pizza night - awesome!

0:09:00 > 0:09:03Rocky? Are you named after that film?

0:09:03 > 0:09:06Nah, some olden days footballer, Romario.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Romario.

0:09:08 > 0:09:12That...is a beautiful name.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Ooh, and it suits you.

0:09:16 > 0:09:17It's very sexual.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20When can I come and get the hair extensions done, Topaz?

0:09:20 > 0:09:23Yeah, any time you like. I work in a beauty salon, Romario.

0:09:23 > 0:09:27Can I just say, you have got great hair.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30Oh, it's really thick. So much natural movement.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Oh, and aren't you muscly?

0:09:33 > 0:09:34Really hard.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36Are you this hard all over?

0:09:36 > 0:09:39Can I definitely get the real hair extensions?

0:09:39 > 0:09:43Just pop into the salon for a free cut and blow any time, Romario.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45I would love to work with your hair.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Cheers, OK. Where is it?

0:09:47 > 0:09:49It's on the high street, near Matt's Tatt Shack.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51I know Matt's. Got my ink done in there.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53SHE GASPS Oh...

0:09:53 > 0:09:55Look at that, Topaz.

0:09:55 > 0:09:56You see what it says?

0:09:56 > 0:09:59"Viva forever."

0:09:59 > 0:10:01I love men with tattoos.

0:10:01 > 0:10:03Or without. She's not fussy.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Wow, it's getting so late.

0:10:05 > 0:10:06No, it's not.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08I actually got my own tattoo done in there.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Do you want to see it?

0:10:10 > 0:10:11Yeah.

0:10:14 > 0:10:15What do you think?

0:10:15 > 0:10:18Nice! Matt's very skilled.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Well, I designed it myself.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24Matt loved it. He said it was like a Banksy on a bottom.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27You can take a picture, if you like.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Put your phone away, Rocky.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31My next one is going to be on my back

0:10:31 > 0:10:34and its going to be a snake with the head of a dragon.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Oh, self-portrait?

0:10:36 > 0:10:38- Sorry, what?- Get out.

0:10:38 > 0:10:43Get your winking arse out of my flat.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45Ambie. Ambie, she's pushing me.

0:10:45 > 0:10:46Come on, Topaz.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55I think you over-reacted a bit there.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57You were going to take a picture of her arse.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59I'm interested in tattoos.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02Oh, yeah, I forgot that you were the professor of tattoo-ology

0:11:02 > 0:11:05at the University of Buttocks!

0:11:06 > 0:11:07Oh, wait, are you jealous?

0:11:07 > 0:11:09We're supposed to be engaged!

0:11:13 > 0:11:14By the way, Topaz,

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Me and Rocky are engaged, in case you didn't know.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Maybe I should go.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23Maybe you should.

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Call me when you've stopped acting...

0:11:25 > 0:11:26crazy.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49You're trying too hard, Mr Jefferies. Just be yourself...

0:11:49 > 0:11:50except a bit less gay.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53We've got no chance if Mr Jefferies keeps behaving like a big wanker.

0:11:53 > 0:11:57I know. He just needs to let them see what a caring person he really is.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59- KNOCK AT DOOR - Enter.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06So I'll be leaving Greenshoots soon, Mr J.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08True. Last few weeks.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11And I want to say thank you for everything you've done

0:12:11 > 0:12:12for me for the last seven years.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14- Do you think I'm fat?- Eh?

0:12:14 > 0:12:16- Greg does, apparently. - I bet he doesn't.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18He does or why would he call me Mr Chubbs?

0:12:18 > 0:12:20It's just one of them things people say.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23Like I say to my sister, "Shut it, bitchface!"

0:12:23 > 0:12:25But I don't mean it nasty.

0:12:25 > 0:12:26I think he does mean it nastily, though.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29He's been putting up unflattering pictures of me on his Facebook,

0:12:29 > 0:12:31ones he promised he'd deleted...

0:12:31 > 0:12:32naked ones.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37I expect you're too busy running a really epic school

0:12:37 > 0:12:39to care what that little shit does.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41He's met someone else.

0:12:41 > 0:12:45Some young, thin, energetic 25-year-old with lots of hair.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47Curly hair.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49So much hair...

0:12:49 > 0:12:50Yeah?

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Like I said, Mr J, you're an awesome headmaster,

0:12:52 > 0:12:55and being a headmaster is all you really care about, right?

0:12:55 > 0:12:56HE STARTS SOBBING

0:12:56 > 0:12:59Remember when I was being bullied cos my dad was inside

0:12:59 > 0:13:01and you crushed the bullies?

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Remember all the times when I was naughty and you sorted it

0:13:03 > 0:13:06and calmed me down? And thanks to you, I stayed on to Sixth Form

0:13:06 > 0:13:08like I never thought I would do

0:13:08 > 0:13:10and maybe I've even passed some of my exams.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12HE SOBS LOUDER

0:13:12 > 0:13:13Thanks to you.

0:13:16 > 0:13:17Shall I come back later?

0:13:17 > 0:13:20Sorry, I'm being so unprofessional.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22It's all right, sir. You're only human.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Exactly!

0:13:24 > 0:13:26I'm a human being...

0:13:26 > 0:13:28so why does he treat me like an animal?

0:13:50 > 0:13:51Hi, Amber.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54Thanks to you, Topaz ain't doing my free hair extensions no more.

0:13:54 > 0:13:55Really? But she said she would.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58But you shoved her last night in front of everyone,

0:13:58 > 0:13:59so now she's changed her mind.

0:13:59 > 0:14:02She was coming on to my boyfriend in my flat.

0:14:02 > 0:14:05You knew she was the type of girl who sleeps with other girls'

0:14:05 > 0:14:07boyfriends, but you still invited her round, which was dumb.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09It was dumb. You invited the serpent into your nest.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12You shouldn't be surprised it tried to eat your eggs.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14I didn't expect the serpent to get its bum out.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16Oh, Topaz always gets her bum out.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Quite often, she gets her boobs out.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21Once, she stripped completely naked and did a headstand.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23That's why she's banned from Primark.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Did she say anything about Rocky?

0:14:25 > 0:14:28Yeah, she said he was one smoking hot hunk of boy biscuit

0:14:28 > 0:14:31and she didn't know what a cute little man muffin like Rocky

0:14:31 > 0:14:34was doing with a little Miss Boring Tits like you.

0:14:34 > 0:14:35What?!

0:14:35 > 0:14:37She called me "Little Miss Boring Tits"!

0:14:37 > 0:14:39I can't believe what a bitch she is.

0:14:39 > 0:14:43The toxic energy of hating Topaz is really very bad for you, Viva.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46She's so much more evil than I realised.

0:14:46 > 0:14:50I really wanted hair extensions, Viva. I've wanted them all my life.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52I was going to get real human hair

0:14:52 > 0:14:55- harvested from the head of a real Russian.- I know.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57I think those hair extensions might be the only thing that can

0:14:57 > 0:15:00finally help me mend the pain in my heart from losing Brandon.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02I guess we'll never know.

0:15:02 > 0:15:06Well, Topaz did say she'd still do my extensions like she promised...

0:15:06 > 0:15:08if you go and apologise to her.

0:15:08 > 0:15:09What?!

0:15:09 > 0:15:12No. No way. She shoved her bum in my boyfriend's face!

0:15:12 > 0:15:14She tried to steal my fiance!

0:15:14 > 0:15:17And let's not forget, she shagged Brandon.

0:15:19 > 0:15:20You're right...

0:15:22 > 0:15:25..but forgiveness is the sign of a mature mind,

0:15:25 > 0:15:26so if you could just say sorry, Viva.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Amber, are you really asking me

0:15:28 > 0:15:30to apologise to your slimy toad-bitch of a sister?

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Yes, please, and if you can do it today, please,

0:15:32 > 0:15:36so I can get the extensions done before the weekend.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38- Saz, you and me are having a fight later.- What? Why?

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Cos I need the telly people to realise

0:15:40 > 0:15:42that Mr J isn't a total knob.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43And why would they think that?

0:15:43 > 0:15:45Cos he's been sobbing in his office.

0:15:45 > 0:15:46Greg's hooked up with someone else.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Aw, poor Mr Jefferies!

0:15:48 > 0:15:51He needs to show that he's a good teacher, not just a cry-baby.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53So if me and Saz fight in front of him...

0:15:53 > 0:15:55- When you say "fight"... - ..he'll have to step in.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57- It could work.- Yeah, and it'll be a good laugh to kick off...

0:15:57 > 0:15:59- Like the old days. - When you say "kick off"...

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Just slag each other off a bit.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03I can do that. Hey, Holli, you twat fuck...

0:16:03 > 0:16:05Saz, not yet!

0:16:05 > 0:16:06Just getting warmed up.

0:16:15 > 0:16:19Once a weirdo, always a weirdo, even your friends don't like you.

0:16:19 > 0:16:20My friends like me.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23Nope, they just pretend so you'll keep helping them

0:16:23 > 0:16:25with their homework. (Not really.)

0:16:25 > 0:16:28As soon as you leave this school, you'll have no-one who's your friend.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30I'll have all the new friends I'll make at uni.

0:16:30 > 0:16:31It won't make any difference,

0:16:31 > 0:16:33cos you can't escape who you are, Saz.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35And who you are is a giant weirdo.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37Really? Well, I dunno why you bothered taking any exams.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39You're obviously not going to pass any.

0:16:39 > 0:16:43No, don't bother coming to pick up your stuff cos I've burnt it all.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46Yes, including your hideous cuff link collection

0:16:46 > 0:16:48and your boxers signed by Kylie.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50And when your dad comes out of prison,

0:16:50 > 0:16:51he can train you up to be a criminal.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Don't talk about my dad!

0:16:53 > 0:16:54Why not, what's he going to do? Come after me?

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Oh, no, wait, he can't, he's locked up.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Seriously Saz, leave my dad out of this.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01I wonder how long he'll be free till he goes back to his life of crime.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03A week? A day?

0:17:03 > 0:17:05LOUD SMACK

0:17:06 > 0:17:07Ow!

0:17:09 > 0:17:11That was too rough, Holli!

0:17:11 > 0:17:13You didn't say you were really going to hurt me.

0:17:13 > 0:17:14I said don't talk about my dad!

0:17:14 > 0:17:16How much are you paying him?

0:17:16 > 0:17:18If he actually exists.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21Well, I hope he likes men who are pathetic,

0:17:21 > 0:17:24self-obsessed little weasels.

0:17:24 > 0:17:26Good, just as well.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29No, I've flushed them all down the toilet.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31I hate tropical fish!

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Yes, even Elton, hah!

0:17:35 > 0:17:36Greg?

0:17:36 > 0:17:37Greg?

0:17:45 > 0:17:48- Holli Vavasour?- Go away.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50- Can we have a chat? - How did you know I was in here?

0:17:50 > 0:17:52I didn't. I've been to 11 other cupboards.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55You wish you'd permanently excluded me, now, don't you?

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Holli, I've seen the film of the incident with Saz.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59- Is she OK?- Yes.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01She said she sort of understood,

0:18:01 > 0:18:04said she's learnt a lot from watching gibbons interact.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07There's no excuse. I lost it, Mr Jefferies.

0:18:07 > 0:18:08Can we talk about your dad?

0:18:08 > 0:18:10I don't want to.

0:18:10 > 0:18:11I know he's getting out soon.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13I really don't want to talk about it.

0:18:13 > 0:18:15You can't control what he does, Holli.

0:18:15 > 0:18:19If he goes back to crime, that decision is down to him.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21I worry about it all the time.

0:18:21 > 0:18:24You can't take that on your shoulders, Holli.

0:18:24 > 0:18:28Whatever he does or doesn't do is not your fault.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32You know what is your fault, though?

0:18:32 > 0:18:36When you slapped Saz round the face cos you lost your temper again.

0:18:36 > 0:18:37Sorry.

0:18:37 > 0:18:40Saz has begged me not to exclude you.

0:18:40 > 0:18:43- Has she?- And she's begged me to let you go to Leavers' Prom.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45Has she?

0:18:45 > 0:18:48So you're getting off very lightly.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50But...

0:18:50 > 0:18:54I do want you to write me an essay about why it's always wrong

0:18:54 > 0:18:57to sort out our problems with violence.

0:18:57 > 0:18:58OK.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00Can it be quite short, please?

0:19:00 > 0:19:011,000 words.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04I'm not a complete pushover.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Where's the camera crew, Mr Jefferies?

0:19:07 > 0:19:09It would've been a good bit for them to film.

0:19:09 > 0:19:11I gave them the slip.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14I thought this conversation was best kept to the two of us.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17Fucking hell, Mr Jefferies, you haven't got a clue, have you?

0:19:17 > 0:19:18(No.)

0:19:18 > 0:19:20Thanks for doing this, Viva.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22It's going to be really hard for me

0:19:22 > 0:19:23to pretend your sister isn't a bitch.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26I know, but this time tomorrow I'll look like Rapunzel in the fairy-tale

0:19:26 > 0:19:29so it'll all be worth you humiliating yourself.

0:19:32 > 0:19:33Hi, Topaz.

0:19:33 > 0:19:34Well, hello.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Quelle surprise!

0:19:39 > 0:19:40Hi, Topaz.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42I was just talking about you.

0:19:42 > 0:19:43Really?

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Yeah, saying what a volatile little madam you are.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48What's volatile?

0:19:48 > 0:19:52It means moody, flies off the handle like a low class tramp.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Yeah, well, I wanted to say sorry for that.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59I was rude to you at my place the other day.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02You talked to me proper disgusting.

0:20:02 > 0:20:04That's why I'm saying sorry.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Didn't she, Amber? Proper disgusting.

0:20:06 > 0:20:10Yeah, proper disgusting.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12I think it just got a bit out of hand.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14- What are you doing here? - Getting my hair cut.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Remember, Topaz offered me a free hair cut.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18Yeah, right before she showed you her fat arse

0:20:18 > 0:20:19like a sex-starved baboon.

0:20:19 > 0:20:20Fat arse?

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Everyone's made up now, everyone's friends.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24You've said sorry, so it's all fine.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26I can't believe you actually took her up on the free haircut.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29He couldn't keep away from my fat arse, could you, babe?

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Come on Amber, let's go. And you, Rocky.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Well, are you coming or not?

0:20:35 > 0:20:36Er...

0:20:36 > 0:20:39I think I'm going to stay.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41You need to learn to take a joke and not be so...

0:20:43 > 0:20:44..volatile.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47- Suit yourself. - You're over-reacting again, Viva.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49- Don't come, then.- It's childish.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51What, cos I don't like this baboon trying to bully me?

0:20:51 > 0:20:52Get out.

0:20:53 > 0:20:55Yeah, not nice, is it?

0:20:55 > 0:20:56Don't push her, Topaz.

0:20:56 > 0:21:00How do you fancy some nice golden highlights?

0:21:00 > 0:21:02I don't think so.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04You'd look beautiful, noble...

0:21:04 > 0:21:07and very, very sexual.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10I bet you love that, don't you?

0:21:10 > 0:21:13I mean, what man doesn't like having his head played with.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15When you going to do my hair extensions?

0:21:15 > 0:21:18Brandon used to love me playing with his head, didn't he, Ambie?

0:21:26 > 0:21:27Why do we have to hide in here?

0:21:27 > 0:21:28I don't want Anna to see,

0:21:28 > 0:21:30but look what I found out by the bin area.

0:21:30 > 0:21:31- She'd thrown it away?- Yep.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39There he is - July!

0:21:41 > 0:21:42Nice.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Keep it, there's loads down there.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46I think she's been buying them up and dumping them.

0:21:46 > 0:21:47Mental.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51So what's happening with Rocky? You going to split up?

0:21:51 > 0:21:54I don't know. I've sort of been having doubts about him

0:21:54 > 0:21:57- ever since I said I'd marry him. - I knew it!

0:21:57 > 0:22:00But then, when I saw him with Topaz, I got really jealous

0:22:00 > 0:22:02and I realised I didn't want to lose him.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04- Ever.- So you're not going to dump him?

0:22:04 > 0:22:06But then he went to Topaz's salon behind my back

0:22:06 > 0:22:08and I felt really betrayed.

0:22:08 > 0:22:09So you are going to dump him. I knew it.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11She won't dump him. Will you?

0:22:11 > 0:22:13- Are you going to dump him or not, Viva?- I don't know.

0:22:13 > 0:22:14I just...

0:22:14 > 0:22:16If he let Topaz cut his hair, then...

0:22:16 > 0:22:18I can't really forgive that.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20You're seriously going to break up over a haircut?

0:22:20 > 0:22:23It's been done before. Samson and Delilah.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25Never mind.

0:22:25 > 0:22:29A haircut and the fact that he humiliated me twice with that...

0:22:30 > 0:22:33I can't even think of the words to describe her.

0:22:33 > 0:22:34- Evil cow.- Yeah, evil cow.

0:22:34 > 0:22:36- Nasty bitch.- Yeah.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Dirty slut.- Yes, dirty slut.

0:22:41 > 0:22:42Well, don't stop.

0:22:42 > 0:22:44DOOR BUZZER

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Thanks for what you did with Mr Jefferies earlier.

0:22:49 > 0:22:50Yeah.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52Well, what I said about your dad...

0:22:52 > 0:22:55although factually accurate and in keeping with the role play

0:22:55 > 0:22:56I'd been asked to perform...

0:22:56 > 0:22:58was probably not something I should've said.

0:22:58 > 0:23:01And I shouldn't have hit you because...

0:23:01 > 0:23:03hitting people is never a good idea,

0:23:03 > 0:23:05though it often feels like it at the time.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07- Sounds like you had that all worked out.- Yeah, I did.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10It's the first 17 words of the 1,000-word essay I've got to write

0:23:10 > 0:23:12about why hitting people is wrong.

0:23:12 > 0:23:13- How many words are you up to?- 20.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15What's your other three?

0:23:15 > 0:23:16"By Holli Vavasour."

0:23:16 > 0:23:17Do you want me to help you out?

0:23:17 > 0:23:19Nah, I'll think of something.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22Thanks, Saz.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24We should probably hug or something.

0:23:28 > 0:23:30This is really awkward, isn't it?

0:23:30 > 0:23:31Yeah, shall we stop hugging now?

0:23:31 > 0:23:32Yeah.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36Rapunzel's in the house!

0:23:36 > 0:23:37Wow, Amber!

0:23:37 > 0:23:40I've just been showing Viva how I can dangle my hair over the balcony

0:23:40 > 0:23:42in case any princes want to climb up.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44They're the shittest hair extensions I've ever seen.

0:23:44 > 0:23:46I feel so princessy.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48I hate to say this, Amber,

0:23:48 > 0:23:50but when you dangled your hair over the balcony,

0:23:50 > 0:23:53- it looks like a pigeon crapped on you.- Oh!

0:23:53 > 0:23:56Never mind, it goes in the washing machine.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00So you didn't get Topaz to do the free hair extensions?

0:24:00 > 0:24:03Nah, I realised there are more important things in life

0:24:03 > 0:24:05than hair extensions.

0:24:05 > 0:24:06Like friendship and...

0:24:09 > 0:24:12Yeah, friendship is about it.

0:24:12 > 0:24:13Thanks, Amber.

0:24:13 > 0:24:18I'm never going to pretend I like Topaz ever again.

0:24:18 > 0:24:19You three can be my sisters now.

0:24:26 > 0:24:31Viva, I need to talk to you alone.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Oh! But I wanted to tell you what I did to Topaz.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42I scalped her!

0:24:42 > 0:24:43Amber!

0:24:45 > 0:24:46Weird few days.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48Mmm.

0:24:48 > 0:24:52So I've been, like, thinking about our situation

0:24:52 > 0:24:54and wondering if we're ready.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Cos if you stick with me,

0:24:56 > 0:25:00there will be girls throwing themselves at me, Viva.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02I've always attracted that kind of attention from the ladies.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04I'm piff. I can't help it.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06But you can help it!

0:25:06 > 0:25:09You just have to act like you're not attracted to other women

0:25:09 > 0:25:13and try not to take pictures of their arses.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16OK.

0:25:16 > 0:25:17What's that supposed to mean?

0:25:17 > 0:25:20- This is about the bum thing, isn't it?- No!

0:25:20 > 0:25:21A bit.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24You didn't believe me when I said I was interested in tattoos,

0:25:24 > 0:25:26but look.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32You really do have lots of pictures of stupid tattoos.

0:25:32 > 0:25:33A tiger smoking a pipe.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38The devil riding a shark.

0:25:38 > 0:25:39A Teletubby with a giant penis.

0:25:39 > 0:25:43OK, that one has just ruined my entire childhood.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46If I see a weird tattoo, I take a picture of it.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48I didn't think about it was on her bum.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50I only want your bum.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55- Did you let her cut your hair? - What do you think?

0:25:59 > 0:26:03Yay, it's going to be all right! They're kissing!

0:26:03 > 0:26:05So we've heard back from the television people

0:26:05 > 0:26:10that Greenshoots has not - repeat, not - been chosen

0:26:10 > 0:26:12to feature in a television series.

0:26:12 > 0:26:15No great surprise there.

0:26:15 > 0:26:18They're going with a school that has a pupil who was in the Judo squad

0:26:18 > 0:26:22at London 2012 and whose whole family has cancer.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25I was disappointed because I wanted the UK to see

0:26:25 > 0:26:27how much you are achieving.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30It looks like those achievements just weren't that impressive,

0:26:30 > 0:26:32especially my sixth form girls' football team,

0:26:32 > 0:26:35who have been particularly rubbish this year.

0:26:35 > 0:26:39I'd like to thank you all for supporting my efforts.

0:26:39 > 0:26:41It's just a shame they weren't good enough.

0:26:41 > 0:26:45Actually, Miss Hitchcock, I think our pupils have been fantastic

0:26:45 > 0:26:47and every single one of them

0:26:47 > 0:26:51is worthy of their own documentary series, as far as I'm concerned.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Sorry, but that is ridiculous.

0:26:55 > 0:27:00It was me who let the school down on this occasion and I apologise.

0:27:00 > 0:27:03I did not meet the challenge of providing

0:27:03 > 0:27:07as caring and dynamic a teaching environment as I should've done.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09Yep, you said it. Yes, Holli.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11Can I say something?

0:27:11 > 0:27:13If you're quick. This is assembly, not group therapy.

0:27:13 > 0:27:15I've been thinking about what Mr Jefferies said

0:27:15 > 0:27:17about inspiration last week.

0:27:17 > 0:27:20I just wanted to say that...

0:27:20 > 0:27:22Mr Jefferies is my hero.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25Oh, Christ, save the cheesy speeches for Leavers' Assembly.

0:27:25 > 0:27:26No, I want to say it now.

0:27:28 > 0:27:30Mr Jefferies, you're a great teacher.

0:27:30 > 0:27:32Three cheers for Mr Jefferies.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34- Hip, hip...- Hooray.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36- Hip, hip...- Hooray.

0:27:36 > 0:27:38- Hip, hip...- Hooray.

0:27:42 > 0:27:44Shit!