0:00:59 > 0:01:04# Hurdy, gurdy, gurdy... #
0:01:05 > 0:01:08There we go. Tea, teacakes.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Jesus. Teacakes. Is it no a bit early fur teacakes?
0:01:11 > 0:01:18- I've been up since hauf four. This is the middle of the bloody afternoon tae me.- I was up at four.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22Of course, you enjoy a lie-in, don't you?
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Well, let's get them defoiled.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Smashin'. Laurel and Hardy.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Eh?
0:01:33 > 0:01:40You never think o' one without thinkin' of the other. Tea and teacakes. Abbott and Costello!
0:01:40 > 0:01:43- I've got you. Charlie Chaplin.- Aye. ..Naw.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48- What's this we're watching? - Old Dugs And New Tricks. Channel 5.
0:01:48 > 0:01:56- That's about people that come oot of retirement.- And the film crew film them.- On camera.- Fur the telly.
0:01:56 > 0:02:03This boy here. Pat Carson. He's 83. Started a business wi' his da, worked until he was 70.
0:02:03 > 0:02:09He sold the lot. He's retired. But then he cannae stick the retirement
0:02:09 > 0:02:15- so he starts a new business at 78! That's him at it five year. Makin' a fortune.- Daein' whit?
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- Pallets. Carson's Pallets. - Is there money in that game?
0:02:19 > 0:02:27Apparently so. Aye... That's tae be admired that - still rollin' your sleeves up at that age! 83.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- How?- Eh?
0:02:29 > 0:02:37- How's that tae be admired, workin' at that age?- Eh? Cos he's up and about. He's no' sittin' vegetatin'.
0:02:37 > 0:02:43- What's up with vegetatin'? I worked all my life to sit vegetating if I want tae.- Listen tae you!
0:02:43 > 0:02:48- That attitude'll huv you in your box a' the quicker.- Explain.
0:02:48 > 0:02:56- The brain is the most complex muscle in the body.- Organ.- Organ muscle, all right.
0:02:56 > 0:03:01It needs activity. And that spurs the body on. To get up, dae stuff.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Get the blood pumpin'. Live a long time.
0:03:04 > 0:03:11Why'd you want to live a long time? For some young bastard tae blow you ower
0:03:11 > 0:03:18- and rip your pension right aff you, and there you are, defenceless? - Sittin' aboot? It's wrang.
0:03:18 > 0:03:24It's a waste o' yersel'. He's active at 83. You have to admire him.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28Och, well, I'll just admire him as well, will I?
0:03:28 > 0:03:35- Aye, here he comes. Hello! I'm... ..What's his name?- Pat.- Oh, aye. I'm Pat. I don't like to sit aboot.
0:03:35 > 0:03:41I'm better than thae sittin'-aboot bastards Jack and Victor.
0:03:41 > 0:03:46Cos I want tae knock ma 83-year-old pan in liftin' auld skelfy pallets.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50For I am Pat. King Pat, The Pallet Prick.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Aye, he is an arsehole.
0:03:53 > 0:04:00Imagine going to the boozer wi' him. "I'll tell you another thing aboot pallets." No, you willnae, Pat.
0:04:00 > 0:04:07- Shut up, you prick.- Walloper. He'll be deid in six months. Worked tae death.- Like an old horse.- Prick.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Aye, he's a prick.
0:04:17 > 0:04:25By the way, Meena, keep an eye out fur that wee Davie Turner bastard. I'm sure he's filling his pockets.
0:04:25 > 0:04:32What am I thinkin' aboot? 40 casuals could come in here shouting and bawling and helpin' theirselves
0:04:32 > 0:04:38and you'd be none the wiser. I'll cut some eyeholes in the paper.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41That'll save you looking up from the bastard.
0:04:41 > 0:04:48That's not like you, Meena. Usually you come back with something quick. With some slagging.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Where's the verbal ping-pong?
0:04:54 > 0:05:00That's a pish comeback. "Your brother's deid"? How is that funny?
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Three lager and... (a Midori and lemonade.)
0:05:12 > 0:05:18- Oh, Midori. Quirky. A quirky-wurkie. - It's no fur me. It's him. He's aff his nut.
0:05:18 > 0:05:24- So you'll be buildin' thae new flats?- Aye.- 28 luxury apartments.
0:05:24 > 0:05:31- Luxury? Rooms are tiny.- Aye, but it'll be brand-new. Like show homes wi' that new smell. Like a new car.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36- They'll make smashin' homes for folk starting oot. Buy me a pint, eh?- Eh?
0:05:36 > 0:05:44- Buy me a pint and you can tell me aboot the new flats. On you go. - No. You're all right, pal.
0:05:48 > 0:05:54- Spillage.- Hello.- Pint of lager, please.- First time in here?- Aye.
0:05:54 > 0:05:59- Ice cream, right?- Mobile catering outlet.- A snack van?
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- Fresh snacks.- Whereabouts?
0:06:02 > 0:06:07Ootside the building site over there. Luxury flats. Lot of bodies.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11They boys paid a visit today. ..Didn't you, fellas?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- Aye.- You - bacon and tomato.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18- That's right.- You - roll and sausage.- Aye.- Enjoy it?
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- Very much so.- Very much so.
0:06:22 > 0:06:28- Roll fresh?- Aye.- Sausage cooked through?- Cooked through, aye.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Good.
0:06:30 > 0:06:36- Eric.- Whit?- Who he?- Him? Vince. He used tae be a manky bastard.
0:06:36 > 0:06:43Poisoned the whole of Yarrows a few year back. Delayed a boat goin' tae the Falklands.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Noo, he's immaculate. Every time he farts, he changes his drawers.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50There you go, my friend.
0:06:53 > 0:06:58- Scuse me?- Aye.- This gless is contaminated.- Sorry?
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- It's got lipstick on it. I'm rejectin' it.- Oh, right.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15There we go now.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Nup.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Hasty! Hasty!
0:07:28 > 0:07:34It says here, Jack, that they didnae huv guns. They had tae use sticks instead o' guns.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37What dae you make o' that?
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Jack?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Jack!
0:07:42 > 0:07:47- What're you daein'? - See? I knew I had these.
0:07:47 > 0:07:54I bought them fur the grandwean's Christmas. He was angling fur one o' them Sony stations, an' all.
0:07:54 > 0:08:01Want tae have seen the huff he went in when I gied him these. Left them lyin', ungrateful wee bastard.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06- What ur they?- Padz. You put them on your hauns, and the ba' sticks on.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11I can't imagine why the wee fella was disappointed at that.
0:08:11 > 0:08:18There wis he expectin' a computer console he could play with a' day. And what did you get him? Padz.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- I'd huv flung them at you.- Ha ha.
0:08:21 > 0:08:28It was you sayin' that we shouldnae be sittin' vegetatin'. I thought, "Aye, Victor, that's right.
0:08:28 > 0:08:34- "Get your blood pumpin'." Here. Put one of them oan. It's a good laugh. - Quite a comfy fit, that.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Right, are you right?- Right.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47- Oh, shit! - DOORBELL RINGS - Who's that noo?
0:08:53 > 0:08:55- It's Navid, Jack.- Navid?
0:08:59 > 0:09:06- Hello, Navid.- Oh, good. You're baith here.- This is a surprise. You here. - Aye?- Haud on.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10Isa. Back inside.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Inside now, Isa.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Shut the door.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Properly.
0:09:20 > 0:09:27- What can we do for you?- I came to see Jack and I was coming to see you. I've got something to ask.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Come in.
0:09:39 > 0:09:45- Hey ho. Do you want a cup of tea? - No, thanks, Jack.- Sit doon.- Thanks.
0:09:48 > 0:09:53- Padz. What did you pay for these?- I dunno. Three quid?- You were robbed.
0:09:53 > 0:10:00- You should have said. I could have got you them for two quid. - Well, there you go.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05- So, eh...- Look. It's just Velcro, cardboard, a wee bit of webbing.
0:10:05 > 0:10:12There's nothing to them. Cost 30p to make, and the rest is profit. This is where the overheads are.
0:10:12 > 0:10:19- Navid, what is it you're wanting? - My brother's died.- I'm sorry. - That's bad news.
0:10:19 > 0:10:26Aye. I'm going to be away a week. You see, my brother wis the idiot. He had his money in Pardu
0:10:26 > 0:10:33- when everybody else had theirs in Bangu, know what I mean?- Aye... - Clown.- I need to tidy his affairs.
0:10:33 > 0:10:40- So, Jack, you told me you used to run a shop.- Aye, I did, aye. Ma father's shop. A grocer's.
0:10:40 > 0:10:46- So, could you and Victor run my shop?- Can you not just ask Meena?
0:10:46 > 0:10:51Fantastic idea! No, wait. She's a lazy bastard who'll ruin me.
0:10:53 > 0:11:00- She's comin' with me.- Jeezo, Navid, I don't know. It's been 30-odd year since I ran a shop.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04- How would I work the till?- We have a 35-year-old till.- Oh, right.
0:11:04 > 0:11:10- And stock?- You'd have to go to the cash-and-carry once.- I'm not sure.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14What were we talking about earlier? Vegetatin'...
0:11:16 > 0:11:23- OK, you're on.- Great. That's a weight off ma mind.- I'll make a cup of tea to seal the deal.- Lovely.
0:11:23 > 0:11:28- Milk and two. Oh, did I mention I leave tonight?- You omitted that.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32- You mean we're working the morra? - 5.45.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35In at the deep end, eh? Good.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42To me.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Mother of Christ!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Shite. Naewhere tae hide.
0:11:52 > 0:11:59- Winston!- Isa.- You'll never guess. - You're right, Isa, I probably willnae.- What are you like?
0:11:59 > 0:12:05- I know. What AM I like?- Where are you goin'?- I'm goin' to Navid's. OK?
0:12:05 > 0:12:12- You're in for a surprise when you get there!- What's that?- Jack and Victor are running the shop.
0:12:12 > 0:12:20- Navid's away.- Eh?- Meena takes a phone call yesterday. Turns out Navid's brother...- Added-on drivel!
0:12:28 > 0:12:32Vince Gallagher! The poisoner of Clydeside!
0:12:32 > 0:12:40- I don't know what you're talkin' aboot.- Aye, you dae. You used to run the manky canteen at Yarrows.
0:12:40 > 0:12:46What was it? Middle of winter. You dished up stew. Everybody takes it.
0:12:46 > 0:12:53- You could huv launched a ship on the diarrhoea you caused that day, you filthy, manky bastard.- Hang on!
0:12:53 > 0:12:59No, YOU hang on. 1,800 good men went doon. Nine days I wis oot the game.
0:12:59 > 0:13:06Heid ower the sink, arse ower the pan. Baith ends goin' full tilt cos of your stew. I can still taste it.
0:13:06 > 0:13:13- Let me explain.- Here you are. And you've the cheek tae still be in the food gemme.- Stop!
0:13:13 > 0:13:20Indeed I will not. I'll trash you. I'll no' let you dae the same tae this generation as you did tae mine.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22I'm callin' the health board.
0:13:22 > 0:13:29And whit are you gonna say, fattie? You've got nothing on me. Ma van's spotless. Look at ma hauns. Minted.
0:13:29 > 0:13:36I made a mistake - I paid fur it. Noo, all I'm tryin' tae dae is turn a coin. I'm clean.
0:13:36 > 0:13:42I'm super-clean. I'm the cleanest. You're the manky wee bastard.
0:13:42 > 0:13:47- Germs crawlin' over you. I can see them.- That's psycho patter, that.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51You're a psycho. A clean psycho, I'll gie you that, but a psycho.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Jack!
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Ja-ack! >
0:13:59 > 0:14:05- JACK!- Where are you? - Look up at the telly.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Oh, aye. Hiya.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Hello!
0:14:11 > 0:14:15- Where are you?- In the stock room! - That's smashin'.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Hello, there, now.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24There we are... Square loaf...
0:14:24 > 0:14:30Werthers Originals... I could eat them masel'. They're lovely.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Persil. That's £3.50.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Thanking you.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Ten in!
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Nice touch, ten in, very nice.
0:14:40 > 0:14:46There we are... 50p is four, and five is ten. Can you manage that?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48- Thank you.- All right. Bye!
0:14:48 > 0:14:51I'll get the door for you, ma love.
0:14:52 > 0:14:57- Do call again now. - Bravo, Victor, bravo.
0:14:57 > 0:15:04- Part of the job, Jacko. Part of the job. And don't think I didnae notice your counter technique.- Oh, aye?
0:15:04 > 0:15:12Listin' the items. Askin' if they'll manage. And the bag. You didnae wait tae be asked fur one. Classy.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16That's one of my pet hates, havin' tae beg fur a bag.
0:15:16 > 0:15:2020 John Player Special, as well, please.
0:15:20 > 0:15:26- Brillo pads...- There you are, sir. - Vosene... Yoyos...
0:15:26 > 0:15:29A magazine. Big Cocks.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Jesus! The thing's called Big Cocks!
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Oh, Jesus...
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Put it in the bag, Jack.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45That's smashing. Er, £5.60, please.
0:15:45 > 0:15:51- Call again. Victor, would you get the door for the gentleman?- No.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Dirty bastard!
0:15:59 > 0:16:04- What are you daein?- Tryin' tae get that picture oot ma heid.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Right, youse two. - Winston, how are you?
0:16:07 > 0:16:14- I was in the Clansman. Naebody knows where youse are.- We're here. - And who did I hear it fae?- Isa.
0:16:14 > 0:16:22- Aye! You might huv telt us.- Navid's away and we're tending the shop. - And I'm hung oot tae dry.- How?
0:16:22 > 0:16:27Naebody tae go for a pint with or to the library or to the cafe.
0:16:27 > 0:16:34- Gie's something tae dae.- How are your references?- There they are. Gie's something tae dae.
0:16:34 > 0:16:41The two executive positions have been filled, however there will be a requirement for a store boy,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43a general lackey.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46What's needing done?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49We can just as soon can your arse. Nae eatin'.
0:16:49 > 0:16:54Jeezo. Hauf twelve, and this place is stone deid.
0:16:54 > 0:17:00- And?- You know why that is.- How?- You should be daein' rolls. Hot food. - There's nae demand fur that.
0:17:00 > 0:17:08- Your arse. There a building site there full o' hungry workies.- Waste of time.- He might be right, Victor.
0:17:08 > 0:17:15We've got a' the stuff here tae make up rolls. There's a fryin' pan in the back.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19We've got sausage, bacon, tottie scones. Good gear.
0:17:19 > 0:17:26- And we could make wursels a couple of quid intae the bargain.- Make Navid a couple of quid.- No, no, no.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Whatever we take, we pay for. Anything above that's ours.
0:17:30 > 0:17:37They'll be in for ginger and fags and sweeties that they wouldnae be in for. Navid'll get his cut.
0:17:37 > 0:17:44- No, no, no. You cannae huv a fryin' pan in Navid's shop.- He's in India! He's hardly gonnae smell it.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47All right. Happy days.
0:17:48 > 0:17:55- Winston, crack open a packet of bacon. You get a block of lard. - Oh, lard. Nae oil!- Aye...
0:17:55 > 0:17:59I'll butter the rolls. Butter, mind - nae marge.
0:17:59 > 0:18:05Open that door to let the workies have a sniff of the cookin'.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08MUSIC: "Green Onions" by Booker T And The MGs
0:19:05 > 0:19:12- OK, all the best now.- Cheerie bye. - Lads, I do think that was our busiest lunch yet.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28- It's a fickle thing, the customer, in't it?- Eh?
0:19:28 > 0:19:36- Hard tae keep their loyalties when they huv so many options. It's a consumer-driven society.- What?
0:19:36 > 0:19:43- Your business! One minute you're mobbed, next minute naebody wants tae know you.- What's goin' on?
0:19:43 > 0:19:47Och, you'll no catch me gossipin'.
0:19:49 > 0:19:57- That was the best day I've had in a long time. Good bit of solid graft. - Me an' all. I feel aboot 16.
0:19:57 > 0:20:04Days ago, we were callin' Pat the Pallet all the pricks of the day. Noo look at us. Buildin' an empire.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06'Mon. I'm chokin'.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Aye. Good. You're here. Where's ma cut?
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Right here, Winston.
0:20:21 > 0:20:26Now, minus overheads, we're £126 sterling to the good.
0:20:26 > 0:20:31Navid's to get half, so that leaves us a three-way split of £21 each.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Sweet.
0:20:34 > 0:20:42- But you tapped me 20 fur your gas bill last week, so...- Jesus. A pound. I'll stick it in the puggy.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46- Don't panic. We'll get you a pint. - It's Donald and Ivana Trump.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50Up yours, Boabby. Three lager.
0:20:50 > 0:20:56- We saw you slinkin' in fur a roll. - Indeed we did.- Did you enjoy it?
0:20:56 > 0:21:01It wis OK. Bit too much butter. I prefer a dry roll, you know.
0:21:01 > 0:21:07"I prefer a dry roll"(!) 100 customers cannae be wrong, right, lads?
0:21:07 > 0:21:14- No' even a bloody nudge.- Boys, I hear things are going a bomb. The whole scheme's talkin' aboot youse.
0:21:14 > 0:21:20- Cut us in, eh?- Cut us in, eh? That's a crackin' idea, Tam.
0:21:20 > 0:21:25- The more the merrier. Welcome aboard!- Smashin'! Thank you!
0:21:25 > 0:21:28It's a winnin' team, Tam.
0:21:28 > 0:21:35Hang on, Jack. Too many executives leads tae a top-heavy management structure. It's unsustainable.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- It'll lead to redundancies. - That's right, Victor.
0:21:39 > 0:21:45Well, Tam, you were last in, so you'll be first out. Cheery-bye!
0:21:47 > 0:21:52Well done, boys. Business is boomin'.
0:21:52 > 0:21:57By all accounts, the food's good, tae. Reasonably priced.
0:21:57 > 0:22:03Comprehensive menu. Tasty. I might wander by and see whit all the fuss is aboot.
0:22:03 > 0:22:08- Don't listen to him. - How, who is he?
0:22:08 > 0:22:15Vince. He used tae work at Yarrows. He's a walloper. He runs that snack bar over by the buildin' site.
0:22:15 > 0:22:22- Are we pissing him off by takin' his business?- Competition's healthy. And he shouldnae be in business.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26Right, boys. See you again.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34That's the last of them away now, Victor.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42- Thank God fur that. We must huv been busier than yesterday.- Aye.
0:22:42 > 0:22:50- We could be daein' wi' Winston. That's three hours he's been at that cash-and-carry.- Lovely. To me!
0:22:50 > 0:22:54Come on, youse two. Gie's a haun. Oh, soup! Lovely!
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Jesus, Winston, you've went mental.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01- What's all that stuff? - Mega tub of ketchup. Pump action.
0:23:01 > 0:23:08- A time saver.- And economical. - And one with brown sauce and one with mustard.- Mustard?
0:23:08 > 0:23:12For hotdogs. We're branching out, boys. Expandin'.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15And let me present to you...
0:23:15 > 0:23:17- Ooh!- ..the Tea King.
0:23:17 > 0:23:23- How much was that?- Well, I had to sink a right few quid intae it.
0:23:23 > 0:23:29- It'll pay fur itself in two days. - It'll take two days tae fill it!
0:23:34 > 0:23:42Listen, lads, gie me ma divvy the noo. I'm no' really up for a pint the night. I'm no' feelin' great.
0:23:42 > 0:23:47- Shut up. You'll be fine. You're just tired.- Aye...
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- Hello, there.- Where's Boabby?
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Aff sick. SQUELCHING FART
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Did you, eh...?
0:24:00 > 0:24:04- Aye, I huv. - That's whit's wrang wi' Boabby.
0:24:08 > 0:24:13Quiet the night, boys. I like it quiet.
0:24:13 > 0:24:19- SQUELCHING FART - Excuse me, gents.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29- Feelin' any better? - Naw. Ma arse is red raw.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Oh, Isa.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Well? Anythin'?
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Thae poor boys.
0:24:40 > 0:24:48- The building site's completely shut. Big padlock on the gate. - A whole buildin' site poisoned.
0:24:48 > 0:24:56- It cannae be fae here. This place is spotless.- I know! I've been cleaning it fur 20 year!
0:24:56 > 0:25:00Away, ya dirty, sleekit bastard. ..C'mere!
0:25:03 > 0:25:05What?
0:25:05 > 0:25:12- Watch this.- What is this? - This, Jack, is Wednesday morning at exactly 11.10am.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17- And whit?- Keep watching.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23- Eh?- Oh...
0:25:26 > 0:25:31- Whit's that he's daein'? - Watch this. Bingo!
0:25:31 > 0:25:38- Naw...- Naw...- Dirty, lowlife stinkin', smelly, skanky, slimy, manky bastard!
0:25:38 > 0:25:42- He's done it tae me again. - SQUELCHING FART
0:25:44 > 0:25:47There you go. Enjoy that.
0:25:47 > 0:25:52- What do youse two want?- Now, don't start. We're here tae make peace.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56- Oh, aye?- We're no longer in the catering business, Vince.
0:25:56 > 0:26:01Give you your due. We're too old for that game. I'm 72.
0:26:01 > 0:26:06I'm 74. It's a young man's game. We're better off oot it.
0:26:06 > 0:26:12- Fine.- Good. Can we have two rolls and sausage?- Two rolls and sausage.
0:26:15 > 0:26:20- They look lovely.- Indeedy they do. Uh-huh.
0:26:20 > 0:26:26- What do we owe you?- It's on me. - That's very kind. Good luck, then.
0:26:31 > 0:26:38- Roll and egg, mate. - OK.- Oh, dear! There would appear to be a cockroach in ma roll!
0:26:38 > 0:26:44That's boggin'! That would make you sick. Oh, naw! There's one in mine!
0:26:44 > 0:26:49- Beasties in the food, fellas. I'm gonnae howf!- Me an' all!
0:26:49 > 0:26:56Don't listen tae them! You'll no' find cockroaches in here! They planted them! This van's spotless!
0:26:57 > 0:27:00GASPS OF DISGUST
0:27:08 > 0:27:11That's fur Yarrows, ya bastard!
0:27:25 > 0:27:31With me are the men who were in the shop when the incident took place.
0:27:31 > 0:27:36- A narrow escape.- Yes, it was narrow, yes...- It was really narrow.
0:27:36 > 0:27:43- What happened?- I had just come back from my brother's funeral in India.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47Jack and Victor were running the shop in my absence.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51Then the crazy bastard drove through...
0:27:51 > 0:27:55- I said bastard. - We can show you some CCTV footage.
0:28:12 > 0:28:18Subtitles by Alison Haggart BBC Broadcast - 2003
0:28:18 > 0:28:22E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:28:37 > 0:28:42The driver of the van got out and fled and is still at large.
0:28:42 > 0:28:48- Do you have any idea who would do such a thing?- No.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Not at all.