0:00:34 > 0:00:40- TV IS ON - What huv I missed? What's this trick aboot?- It's a lotta shite.
0:00:40 > 0:00:45This boy here wi' the pyjamas on has opened the door to the "council"
0:00:45 > 0:00:50who're cuttin' doon a hunner-year-old tree that belangs to him.
0:00:50 > 0:00:55The reason they gie'd him is it's against the law. A lot of rubbish.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59- And he's swallied it?- Aye. That's him gaun' aff his nut noo.
0:01:02 > 0:01:08- Stupit gullible prick!- Aye, he's a prick. Ye wouldnae catch me. See if somebody came tae ma door and said,
0:01:08 > 0:01:15"We're cutting' doon yer prize tree, the tree ye grew up wi'." I'd say, "That's fine. Go and cut it doon.
0:01:15 > 0:01:21"I'm just goin' into the kitchen tae get a big knife tae slit your bastardin' throat wi'!"
0:01:21 > 0:01:26Ye wouldnae catch me in my pyjamas, in the gairden, caught on camera.
0:01:26 > 0:01:31I'd conduct the entire discussion through the letter box.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34"We're cutting' doon yer big tree!"
0:01:34 > 0:01:38"Are ye?" Shotgun through the letter box. Good night!
0:01:38 > 0:01:42The blast would be muffled by the fat bastard's belly!
0:01:43 > 0:01:48Oh, Christ, look at that! There's the presenter dressed as a polis.
0:01:48 > 0:01:55Look at the height of him. A midget. You'd never believe he was a polis. Know what I'd dae?
0:01:55 > 0:02:00Boof! Hat off! B-doing! Beat it! You're no' a polis! Think I'm daft?
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Turn that shite aff, Jack. I cannae take any mair.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- Hunner-year-old tree.- Lotta pish.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Oh, here. Don't pour that.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Ye've reminded me.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30There ye are.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33- What's this?- Present.
0:02:33 > 0:02:38- Ye no' know what day it is?- It's no' ma birthday. Is it ma birthday?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40No, it's no' ma birthday. Is it?
0:02:40 > 0:02:44- No, but it is an anniversary.- Whose? - I'll gie ye a clue. Frank McCallum.
0:02:44 > 0:02:49Frank McCallum... Jesus, where do I know that name fae?
0:02:49 > 0:02:57Was that the fella wi' the golf-ball nose, ran the cafe in Wellshot Rd? Wee limp. Big family.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Naw. That wis Boabby Jackson. Jackson's cafe, sure.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Oh, aye. Frank McCallum.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09The big, red-heided bastard, used tae eat stuff oot the bins?
0:03:09 > 0:03:14Naw. That wis Sammy Baker. Baker the Raker, sure.
0:03:14 > 0:03:19Frank McCallum... Aw, the boy and the tram!
0:03:19 > 0:03:26- Bingo. What else happened that day? - That wis the day we met.- That's right. 60 years the morra.- Naw!
0:03:26 > 0:03:31- Sure, we went out and got rat arsed on the 50th.- Oh, I mind that!
0:03:31 > 0:03:35What a heid I had the next day. Christ!
0:03:35 > 0:03:39- Is that ten year ago? - Aye. So it's 60 the morra.
0:03:39 > 0:03:45- That's right. I was trying to get across...- Sibley Street.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Sibley Street, aye. Boof! Young fella gets knocked doon by a tram!
0:03:49 > 0:03:53- Frank McCallum.- Frank McCallum! The driver sends me to get help.
0:03:53 > 0:03:59You run into ma da's shop, roarin' and greetin'. I came out to see what all the commotion was.
0:03:59 > 0:04:04That was it. Best pals ever since. ..On you go.
0:04:12 > 0:04:17Oh! "60 years best pals"! That's lovely, that is.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21- I wish you health to drink oot it. - Smashin'.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25- Beer tastes better oot o' a tankard!- Aye.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29So ye didnae remember?
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Naw, I did not, no.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Didnae huv it written doon anywhere?
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Naw.
0:04:40 > 0:04:47Haud up, Jack. I know what ye're thinkin' - that I'm windin' ye up and I'm aboot tae produce a gift.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52But believe me, I didnae remember. I've got ye hee-haw.
0:04:53 > 0:05:00Away, ya lousy big bastard, ye! I'm standin' in that bloody jewellers gettin' that thing engraved
0:05:00 > 0:05:06- and you're sittin' wi' yer thumb up yer arse!- So that's the way of it? Givin' tae get?
0:05:07 > 0:05:15- Ye've bittered this beer noo, Jack! - Don't talk pish. You're tryin' tae cover yer red neck wi' that patter.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Aye, I am. I feel bad. Dinnae make it worse.
0:05:20 > 0:05:27- Look, what aboot this? We'll go into toon tomorrow, celebrate. I'll take you for a nice meal.- Oh, aye.
0:05:27 > 0:05:33- A burger and chips in some stinkin' pub?- Up to the value of a tankard.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37- Somewhere proper?- Aye.- Wi' tablecloths an' that?- Of course.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39All right, you're on.
0:05:47 > 0:05:53- I was not roarin' and greetin'. - Ye were. You were bubblin' like a big bloody wean.- Ach, yer arse!
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- That's lovely.- Nice wee break.
0:05:58 > 0:06:03- We gonna go mad and get a taxi? - Into the toon?! Indeed we will not.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08- You said you were gonnae treat me. - Up to the value of a tankard.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13A taxi into the toon would take ye well beyond the tanker threshold.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- Tightwad. It's the bus, in't it? - Yes, indeed-y!
0:06:17 > 0:06:22- Which for us is free.- Yes. - Haud the lift!
0:06:22 > 0:06:26Oh, shut, ya bastard! Shut...shut...
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Just me! I'm goin' doon tae Jean's.
0:06:30 > 0:06:36Ooh! Look at youse two a' done up smart! Nice jaikets.
0:06:37 > 0:06:43Where are youse gaun'? Ye're no' gaun' to the Clansman, no' turned out like that.
0:06:43 > 0:06:50Must be somewhere good, somewhere special, eh? What would that be? What would the reason be?
0:06:50 > 0:06:55A wedding? ..Naw. You'd have buttonholes on for a wedding.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58It's no' a funeral cos of the ties...
0:06:58 > 0:07:05And it's no' a court case. I'd have heard! Is it a day oot somewhere? Somewhere that isnae Craiglang?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08It's the toon! It's the toon, in't it?!
0:07:08 > 0:07:12Ha-ha! I know WHERE ye're gaun', but why?
0:07:12 > 0:07:16Are you celebratin' something? Your birthday?
0:07:16 > 0:07:20No. Two old pals gaun' intae the toon.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Two old pals...celebrating...
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Celebrating, er...
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Celebrating just being old pals! That's it, in't it?!
0:07:32 > 0:07:36Like an anniversary! Ooh! That's it, in't it?!
0:07:39 > 0:07:44- She's creepy wi' that. - Aye, she gies me the fear.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- Got a rare day for it.- Aye, aye.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54- I cannae mind the last time I was in the toon, can you?- Nope.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Where d'ye want to go first?
0:07:57 > 0:08:03If it's all right wi' you, I'd like to pop into that wee tobacconist off George Square, if it's still there.
0:08:03 > 0:08:10I fancy something different, something a wee bit exotic. Course, you'll no' be interested.
0:08:10 > 0:08:17- I could get masel' a wee cigar for after the meal. I enjoy a wee cigar.- That's right, so ye dae.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- A wee Tom Thumb.- Cafe Creme.- Mm.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24- Or a slim panatella.- Aye!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26- Or a Hamlet.- Mm-hm.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30- Or a Castella.- That's plenty! - Hey-ho.
0:08:30 > 0:08:38- Whit are youse two daein' oot yer wankin' chariots?- Gaun' intae the toon.- Oh. I'll come wi' you.- Naw.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42- How no'?- Victor's takin' me for my lunch. We're havin' a wee day o' it.
0:08:42 > 0:08:47- What's that in aid o'?- 60 years we've been palin' aboot thegither.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51I'll just amuse masel' the day, then, will I?
0:08:51 > 0:08:56- Sorry, Winston, that's just the way of it.- Fine. Enjoy yerselves.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Cheerie-bye.
0:09:02 > 0:09:08- D'ye think we should huv asked him tae come along wi' us? - Aye. I feel a bit rotten noo.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Away and gie him a shout. - Aye, all right.
0:09:15 > 0:09:21Mind and hold each other's hauns in the town, now, it's very dangerous!
0:09:21 > 0:09:27Victor, keep yer purse wi' you at all times! ..Jack, if ye need the toilet, ye've to say ye need!
0:09:27 > 0:09:32Have a good day, ya couple of pansy, poofy, jessie BASTARDS!
0:09:41 > 0:09:47That used tae be a fur coat shop. And that was a haberdashers, aye.
0:09:47 > 0:09:53The tower's away. There used tae be a clock there. You could always tell if you were running late.
0:09:53 > 0:09:58That used tae be a big Birrells. Oh, there's the 50-bob tailors!
0:09:58 > 0:10:05- You see...- Can we cut the All Our Yesterdays routine before I burst oot wi' the bloody hankies?
0:10:05 > 0:10:10- Can we get some tobacco?- Right. - 'Sake!
0:10:11 > 0:10:17- This is a lovely shop ye've got. - Thanks very much. What're ye after?
0:10:17 > 0:10:23- Pipe tobacco.- I wouldn't mind a look at yer cigars. - Some here, more over there.
0:10:23 > 0:10:30See, the thing is, we're from a place called Craiglang. It's only a corner shop that's there,
0:10:30 > 0:10:36- a wee newsagents. Only got the two types - St Bruno and Drum.- Oh, dear! Ye'll no' have that problem here!
0:10:36 > 0:10:44- Jeezo. It's some choice. I wouldnae know where to start.- Take as long as you like. I've over 70 brands.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48If you want a wee try before you buy, feel free.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- Crabbit bastard!- Good day!
0:10:55 > 0:10:59- Whit got up his humph?- I'm no expert on tobacco shop etiquette,
0:10:59 > 0:11:06but maybe tryin' 17 different kinds before plumpin' for yer regular brand isnae the done thing.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Ye've got to stick to whit ye know.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14# ..Perfect baby, listen to... #
0:11:14 > 0:11:18- Whit's he singin', Jack? - Do ye know any Perry Como, son?
0:11:20 > 0:11:25# Oh, hot diggity, dog diggity Boom, what you do to me
0:11:25 > 0:11:28# It's so new to me What you do to me
0:11:28 > 0:11:34# Hot diggity, dog diggity, boom What you do to me When you're holding me tight... #
0:11:42 > 0:11:45MUSIC: "The In Crowd"
0:12:17 > 0:12:20No. No.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Trying to poison me?!
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Well, sir?
0:12:44 > 0:12:51Eh? Oh, aye, it's a smashin' telly. But I've got a perfectly good 22-inch Grundig in the house.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Oh, eh? Look at this place.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Fabulous, eh?
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Come on.
0:13:03 > 0:13:08It certainly is fancy. Here, come we'll get that seat.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- Haud on.- How?
0:13:11 > 0:13:18- Ye've tae wait to be seated.- Fur what? The place is empty.- That's what ye dae. De ye no' know nothin'?
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Oh, hello there, sweetheart. Table for two. Two pals.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27- Smoking or non-smoking?- Smokin'. - Can we get that seat, hen?- Yeah.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Can I take yer jackets?
0:13:31 > 0:13:36Oh, I dunno, Jack! What d'ye think? This place looks a wee bit rough!
0:13:36 > 0:13:42- ..Will we ever see them again, sweetheart?- They'll just be on the coat stand over there.
0:13:43 > 0:13:48- Jesus. Humour bypass! - What would you like to drink?
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Just a couple of beers, darlin'.
0:13:51 > 0:13:56OK, we've got Genuine Draft, Rolling Rock, Peroni, Sapporo, Sol,
0:13:56 > 0:14:02Tiger, San Miguel, Heineken, Stella Artois, Michelob, Sleemans Honey Beer or Budvar.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07Ye just want a couple of pints, don't ye?
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Look at this. It's like the roof of a bloody hoose!
0:14:19 > 0:14:25Oh. Oh, here, that cannae be right. Jesus! £8 for a plate of bloody soup!
0:14:25 > 0:14:30Huv ye clocked that, Victor? That's a bit steep, is it no'? Victor.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35Victor.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39- C'mon.- Eh?- Before she comes back!
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Ready to order, gents?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Eh... Aye. Absolutely.
0:14:44 > 0:14:49Just getting ma jacket cos the pipe's in the pocket, see?
0:14:51 > 0:14:55Right, now... Whit to have, eh?
0:14:56 > 0:15:01To start, I'll have the duck pate with Scottish oatcakes.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05Eh, I'll have the shrimp, eh, wrapped in the fi-lo pastry.
0:15:05 > 0:15:11And for the main - sirloin steak, well done, with the mashed potatoes and the Di-jon mustard.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16And the corn chicken breast with rosemary and minted potatoes
0:15:16 > 0:15:22resting on a bed of couscous and a side of asparagus with hot butter.
0:15:22 > 0:15:28- Come to think of it, Jack, I'm no' that hungry.- Neither am I. Will we just have some ice cream?
0:15:28 > 0:15:33- Two ice creams, please.- Have ye no' been in here before?- No, we huvnae.
0:15:33 > 0:15:38- We huvnae ate in the toon fur 20-odd year.- See, the thing is,
0:15:38 > 0:15:44me and ma pal, we've known each other 60 years the day so we thought we'd have a nice meal to celebrate,
0:15:44 > 0:15:52- but we're oot wur depths wi' this menu. Is it all right just to have ice cream?- Mm-hm. Is that a'?- Aye.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Thanks very much.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Oh, that's lovely. Thanks very much.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06- A wee toast, then. Frank McCallum.- Aye. Frank McCallum.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16- That's set me up for my ice cream. - Me an' a'.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22- Haud the bus. We ordered... - Ssh. I'll take care o' it.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25I don't know if we should let you do that.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29If ma old man saw these prices, HE'D huv a heart attack.
0:16:29 > 0:16:34- Well, that's, eh... What's yer name, son?- Norrie. Wire in.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Thank you, Norrie.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40MUSIC: "Magic Moments"
0:16:45 > 0:16:50# Magic moments
0:16:50 > 0:16:54# When two hearts are caring
0:16:55 > 0:17:00# Magic moments
0:17:00 > 0:17:04# Memories we've been sharing
0:17:04 > 0:17:09# I'll never forget the moment we kissed the night of the hay ride
0:17:09 > 0:17:16# The way that we hugged to try to keep warm while taking the sleigh ride... #
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- I'm ruined.- Me, an' all. I can hardly bloody move.
0:17:19 > 0:17:26- What a tightener, eh? Wait till we tell Winston.- He'll be beelin'!
0:17:26 > 0:17:29- What do we do noo? - Get a haud of Norman.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33(Norrie! Psst.)
0:17:44 > 0:17:49- Norman! Have you been smokin' in the kitchen again?- Em...
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- Aye.- Well, that's it!
0:17:51 > 0:17:59- Ye're finished! Get yer coat. - Please...- Get your coat!- I need to get these gents their bill first.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02I'll get their bill. You get yer coat.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Did you enjoy your meal?
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Aye. Eh, Norman was serving us. Here's your bill, gents.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25140 quid! Bastard!
0:18:25 > 0:18:29Aye, it's a bastard. I'll go haufers wi' ye.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- Och, shut up! - That's charmin', in't it? Shut up.
0:18:32 > 0:18:37- What ye daein'? - Going through this bill!- Again?!
0:18:37 > 0:18:44- It cannae be right!- That's what it costs! You saw the bloody menu! Stop torturin' yersel'. Gie that tae me.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Scandalous. £32 for a tiny wee bit of chicken.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54- Three toty wee totties, an' a'. - Stop it, Jack!
0:18:54 > 0:18:58It's a kick in the balls, right enough.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02But what a meal, eh? I'll remember that fur the rest of ma days.
0:19:04 > 0:19:09Ach, I suppose so, aye. Here, that wine was somethin' else, eh?
0:19:09 > 0:19:15Aye. We've treated wurselves good and proper. And rightly so. 60 years is a long time.
0:19:15 > 0:19:21- You cannae put a price on that. - Aye, ye can! It's no' as much as £140 either!
0:19:22 > 0:19:29- Oh! Oh! Get yersel' thegither. - This isnae oor stop!- I know. It's a wee diversion. You'll enjoy this.
0:19:40 > 0:19:47- 4 o'clock. That gies us a good hour tae look roon'.- I'm no' payin' tae get in here, but.- I'll get it.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Fly bastard.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56- This is smashin', eh?- Aye, it's the berries, right enough.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58A' the old shops.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03A right wander down memory lane, in't it?
0:20:05 > 0:20:09- I reckon you saved that boy's life that day.- D'ye think?- Aye.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14Showed foresight goin' into the only shop in the street that had a phone.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Dunno aboot foresight, Jack. Luck maybe.
0:20:17 > 0:20:22Right enough, naebody really had phones back then, did they?
0:20:22 > 0:20:26No, they did not. Fate, you'd have to call it.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Aye. Fate.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Some flashback, the old caur, eh?
0:20:44 > 0:20:48Aye. They should never huv done away wi' they things.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Smashin' thing, eh?
0:20:52 > 0:20:56De ye think that's the one that knocked Frank McCallum doon?
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Naw, I wouldnae think so.
0:21:00 > 0:21:07The 3 went through Pollokshields. It was a 46 that knocked that boy down. 60 year. You wouldnae believe it.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Frightening-looking big bugger, that, eh?
0:21:12 > 0:21:17- It is, aye.- I never knew this place was here. Ma daughter telt me.
0:21:17 > 0:21:25Is that right? Only reason we're here is ma pal here, Victor, saved a boy's life that got hit by a caur.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29A long time ago. That's the day we met.
0:21:29 > 0:21:3160 year ago the day.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- Aye, that's right, aye. - Aye, 60 year.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Frank McCallum.
0:21:42 > 0:21:49Six month I was in the hospital. They didnae think I wis gonnae make it.
0:21:49 > 0:21:56I says tae ma daughter, "That'll be 60 year since I got knocked doon." It was her suggestion I come here.
0:21:56 > 0:22:04It's amazing. A' that time passes and where do we meet ye again? Right next tae a bloody tram!
0:22:04 > 0:22:07In a lot happier circumstances tae.
0:22:08 > 0:22:14I'd better get ma skates on. I've got tae pick up somethin' fur ma supper.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Why don't ye huv yer supper wi' us?
0:22:17 > 0:22:24- Eh?- Aye. Come up tae oors and get somethin' tae eat, have a couple o' haufs and catch up, eh?- Aye, c'mon.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28That's a very kind offer, boys. Aye. That would be lovely.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40That wis lovely. Thanks fur that.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Did ye enjoy that, Jack?
0:22:42 > 0:22:50- It was lovely, aye. Wisnae as good as lunch, but.- Oh.- ..What did ye do when ye came oot the Merchant Navy?
0:22:50 > 0:22:54Oh, aye. Well, I'd met this lovely lassie in Portugal - Leone.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58Ye want tae huv seen her. Gorgeous. Thin as a pin.
0:22:58 > 0:23:05We got married oot there, I brought her hame and we hud our daughter, Cindy. Aye, we were very happy.
0:23:05 > 0:23:11- Is she still livin'?- Oh, aye. Wi' a lousy nae-user bastard in the South Side.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14She's a big fat cow now.
0:23:14 > 0:23:19You couldnae knock her doon wi' a tram. She'd derail the bastard.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26Aye, it's a bit of a surprise, this, eh? Us three sittin' here.
0:23:26 > 0:23:31- It's more surprisin' he's broke oot wi' the malt.- I was saving this for a very special occasion.
0:23:31 > 0:23:36If this isnae a special occasion, I don't know what is.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Right. Ye want a haun wi' these plates?
0:23:45 > 0:23:50- Me and Jack'll get these. Want a slice of Viennetta?- What is it?
0:23:50 > 0:23:54- It's ice cream wi' chocolate laced through it.- It's lovely.
0:23:54 > 0:23:59Aye, well, I'll help ye oot wi' a plate of that, then.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Help yersel' to a wee malt there, Frank.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Cheers, Victor.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40- Where is he? - He must be in the slasher.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Oh, I love this stuff.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45- It's lovely, in't it? - Smashing, aye.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48- Some day we've had, eh?- Aye.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Nice fella, in't he?
0:24:53 > 0:24:57- That's a big slice ye've gied him. - He's a guest.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02- Take a wee end... - Oi! A bit of respect!
0:25:02 > 0:25:06The man's in the toilet and ye're tryin' tae steal his puddin'.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09I'm gonna get a smoke.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Victor. Where's ma coat?
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Bastard!
0:25:30 > 0:25:34A carriage clock, sports jaiket and a wallet.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Aye, 60 quid in it!
0:25:37 > 0:25:42- And a pipe and two ounce of tobacco. - Ssh. ..What else? Eh...
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Where's yer tankard?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Oh, ma tankard! Ya bastard!
0:25:49 > 0:25:53Sorry, hen. No, no' you. Yes, I'll hang on.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Whit ye daein'?
0:25:58 > 0:26:00He's hardly comin' back, is he?
0:26:07 > 0:26:12They wanted Frank McCallum, so I wis Frank McCallum!
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Couple o' daft auld duffers.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18So... they took you up tae their hoose?
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Aye, and when I got the chance, I lifted this stuff.
0:26:22 > 0:26:27Jesus. I thought ye'd chucked that. Still at the blag at your age.
0:26:27 > 0:26:32I know, eh? Stupid auld bastards! They deserve a' they get.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36Right. I'm away ower the road, try and unload this gear.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48- Not many people get their stuff back efter bein' robbed.- Naw.
0:26:51 > 0:26:56- Frank McCallum.- Frank McCallum. Or whoever you actually were.
0:26:59 > 0:27:05- Don't drink your beer oot o' that. Drink it oot yer tankard.- Funny(!)
0:27:25 > 0:27:30Subtitles by Mary Easton BBC Broadcast - 2003
0:27:30 > 0:27:33E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:27:37 > 0:27:43- Two pints o' lager.- Winston said you were in the toon yesterday, celebrating 60 years of being pals.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47- Aye. Whit a day it turned out to be.- Fantastic.
0:27:47 > 0:27:53Did Winston also say he was shoutin' at us at the bus stop, calling us jessies?
0:27:53 > 0:27:57Calling us pansies - gave us a right showing up, didn't he?
0:27:57 > 0:28:01- Just cos we didn't ask him to come. - No, he didnae mention that.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Look, lads, I'm sorry aboot that.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08I went in the huff cos you wouldnae let me come.
0:28:08 > 0:28:12I realise it was your day and you didnae want me hangin' aboot.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Are ye still talking to me?
0:28:15 > 0:28:18- I suppose so. - Nae hard feelings.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21Let me get you a drink. Nah, you're awright.
0:28:21 > 0:28:25No, I insist. ..Bobby, get us a couple o' drinks.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to propose a toast.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32To friendship.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36To two pals who've stuck thegither Through thick and thin
0:28:36 > 0:28:39for the past 60 year.
0:28:39 > 0:28:42Jack and Victor.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44ALL: Jack and Victor.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50A couple o' bum chums!