0:00:07 > 0:00:11Hey, put that one in the front where it can be seen.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13You need your glasses? It's bruised.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16It's bruised, I know it's bruised, you know it's bruised,
0:00:16 > 0:00:21and soon Mrs Thing will know it's bruised. It's a Mrs Thing trap.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24Mm, she's got a bigger trap than you.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27I'm fed up with her coming in, poking and prodding
0:00:27 > 0:00:31and I never get her in the shop...
0:00:31 > 0:00:34but today she is mine.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Eh, up.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Oh, dear. Mm, oh.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45I'm just looking.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46Oh, carry on.
0:00:46 > 0:00:47Are these fresh?
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Oh, yes, any fresher and they'd be insulting.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53This one's bruised.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Oh, congratulations.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59You see, by spotting that, you've just won my discerning customer award
0:00:59 > 0:01:04which means that you can purchase a pack of yoghurt for less than cost.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08This young man here, he worries about me
0:01:08 > 0:01:12practically giving stuff away, and I say to him,
0:01:12 > 0:01:15I say, "Leroy, don't you worry about the loss,
0:01:15 > 0:01:19"think of it more as... a community service."
0:01:19 > 0:01:22There you are. Up you go.
0:01:22 > 0:01:27How can you claim that it's less than cost?
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Well, it's bound to be less than the cost of something, ain't it?
0:01:56 > 0:01:57BARKING
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Hey!
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Hey!
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Explain to me why you bought this load of old damaged tins?
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Grocer's intuition, Leroy.
0:02:43 > 0:02:48Little voice in my ear went, "Hey, hey, eh, up, they're cheap."
0:02:48 > 0:02:50You'll never sell them in this condition
0:02:50 > 0:02:53and I am not eating them for the next six months.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Oh, have a little faith, Leroy.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I'm out of bread.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03What have you got from yesterday that's not stale?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Oh, I've got a nice brown cob.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Oh, I'll take that.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11There we are.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13It's a bit flat.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16It's not a musical instrument.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Shouldn't it be, you know, more puffed up?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23You want puffed up?
0:03:25 > 0:03:27All right, all right.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30I'll see what I've got out the back, all right?
0:03:35 > 0:03:38I bet you think I'm a fussy old woman.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41The woman bit never crossed my mind.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Sometimes you have to make a stand.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Have you got any...? - BARKING
0:03:50 > 0:03:52I think the dog prefers Tesco's.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59How long are you going to be...?
0:04:11 > 0:04:15It's another little te-he-he-tip I owe you for.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Ha ha.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24You happy now?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27You see, you're feeling monkey at me now because of this bread.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31You could have sold me that stale one if I hadn't have been too sharp.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35I know when I'm beaten.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38No hard feelings, eh?
0:04:38 > 0:04:39I like a good loser.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43What have you got for a wife in a paddy?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47You haven't upset her already, have you?
0:04:47 > 0:04:50She brought this one with her to bed last night.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Eh up, Eric, you're up and about early, ain't you?
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Nicer outside. Weather's terrible indoors.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02You and all?
0:05:02 > 0:05:03You say one wrong word.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Mine kicks off before you can even speak.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09You should speak first and don't stop.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Don't give them any pauses, pauses are fatal.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Anyway, what was this wrong word?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Bridlington.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19What's wrong with Bridlington?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21She shook me awake and she said,
0:05:21 > 0:05:25"I want you to surprise me and spoil me
0:05:25 > 0:05:28"and take me somewhere for a magical new experience,"
0:05:28 > 0:05:29and all I said was...
0:05:29 > 0:05:31ALL: Bridlington.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40Arkwright's. This is where she let herself be ripped off,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43buying something he said was called "yaggis".
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Can't she see it was just salami?
0:05:45 > 0:05:46Silly woman.
0:05:49 > 0:05:54He's looking increasingly like your typical weirdo, just sitting there.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58I don't recognise the car. I'll see him off in a minute.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Can you do that? Without your pole and away from your crossing?
0:06:01 > 0:06:05I don't see why not. He's away from wherever he belongs.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Simple plain salami, how dim can she be?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Not dim enough to come and complain personally, no,
0:06:13 > 0:06:16she has to send me. "Go and sort him out," she says,
0:06:16 > 0:06:18"get the money back, get an apology."
0:06:18 > 0:06:22Yaggis! Jordan, you married a dimwit,
0:06:22 > 0:06:25and now I have to go and punish this guy.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28GASTRIC YELLS
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Oh, begger, that sucks, good start.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Let's hope there were no witnesses...
0:06:38 > 0:06:39We saw that.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Saw you fling that door at him.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Saw you sitting there waiting for him.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Are you still unconscious, Gastric?
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Thank you for asking.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51I were wondering if anybody cared.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54HE GROANS
0:06:58 > 0:07:0248 battered tins of beans in chilli sauce to get rid of.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06Stay calm, Leroy. We have the technology.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Hello, Mavis.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13Hello, Granville.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Oh! Oh, yeah, right, yeah, yeah, sorry.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23Got to go and see to my fairy cakes.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Nah, it's good to see you, Mavis.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27You too, Leroy.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38Where is she from whom there is no mercy?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41She's doing Kath's hair. Walnuts.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Sorry?
0:07:45 > 0:07:47It's what I came in for, walnuts.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51- Ah.- I thought I'd better get it in quick before I forget,
0:07:51 > 0:07:52you know what I'm like.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56And there was something else, but that's gone.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00It'll come back to you, and if it doesn't,
0:08:00 > 0:08:02I will.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08As long as you leave the window open just a fraction.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13No wonder I forget things, you make me blush.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16There is a cure.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18All you have to do is to close your eyes,
0:08:18 > 0:08:21say the magic word and when you open them,
0:08:21 > 0:08:24you're in this fairy-tale bedroom.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28Leroy says his and your bedrooms are full of boxes.
0:08:30 > 0:08:35Well, that's all right, I'll get rid of all of my boxes into Leroy's room
0:08:35 > 0:08:38and then I'll get some nice soft lighting
0:08:38 > 0:08:41and an alarm clock
0:08:41 > 0:08:43with a snooze button
0:08:43 > 0:08:46and some silk pyjamas.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49That's been knocked about a bit.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53It won't notice in silk pyjamas.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Oh, you mean the tin?
0:08:59 > 0:09:03Yes, yes. Well, it's been in some rough hands.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Oh, I know the feeling.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Listen, talking about that.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12You know, when I look into your eyes,
0:09:12 > 0:09:15I see these great legs.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- Have you got any...?- No!
0:09:23 > 0:09:25You've lost a customer!
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Don't just stay there seducing me, go and get him back!
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Oh... Oh, all right.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Oh... Ooh.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Oh, this is a tough one, this!
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Go!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Go, all right, yes.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Balance seems all right. Is your head ringing, Gastric?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01If it is don't answer it, it'll be full of tripe.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05It's a good job you're built for punishment, Gastric,
0:10:05 > 0:10:07and you're not some jessie.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Oh, I can't see any blood...
0:10:09 > 0:10:11No thanks to you.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13He looks unscratched to me.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16You must be a very aggressive personality,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19thrusting your door in other people's faces.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20I'm a pussycat.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21You want neutering then.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25It's a good job for you it's only Gastric
0:10:25 > 0:10:27and not somebody we really care about.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Thank you, Mrs Featherstone.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33No offence, Gastric. We came to your rescue,
0:10:33 > 0:10:35we did everything you could
0:10:35 > 0:10:38reasonably expect from a casual acquaintance.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41We've got your number, Mister, in case he has a relapse later.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45Bring your bike, you'd better wheel it for a while.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50What would your mother think?
0:10:50 > 0:10:51She's dead.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Well, that should've made her opinion clear enough.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15That's a bit of strenuous grocering. What you doing?
0:11:15 > 0:11:19Yes, I'm just dressing this tin.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Dressing it?
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- Mm.- You made a bog of it!
0:11:23 > 0:11:27If I told you this effect was precisely planned...
0:11:27 > 0:11:29- Do you mean you did it deliberately? - Yes.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31That was you banging this tin?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Mm, and now I put it to one side,
0:11:33 > 0:11:35that's for tonight's supper, me and Leroy's.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Ah, I'm glad you're not trying to sell it.
0:11:37 > 0:11:42Oh! Oh, no, no, no. I wouldn't waste this on people with low self cuisine.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Oh, sorry, what is it I could get you, this?
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Er, aye, yeah.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Right, there we go, that's just about right, thank you.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57How do you mean dressing it?
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Well, by putting the insertions in.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01Dents, you mean?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Well, no, from the outside, they do look like dents, don't they?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06But from the inside they're insertions.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Insertions into the contents.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14You know, authoritative people do say that it doubles the flavour.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Give over, you do tell me some flannel.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Oh, you're right, I mean,
0:12:23 > 0:12:25I don't think it doubles the flavour necessarily,
0:12:25 > 0:12:28but it certainly gives the contents a boost.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Oh, yeah, mm.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34I shouldn't be telling you this
0:12:34 > 0:12:37because it's the best kept secret in the grocery trade.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- How can...- Impact.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43You see, it's all to do with its, like,
0:12:43 > 0:12:45you know, molecular structure,
0:12:45 > 0:12:49but I don't want to get into quantum physics with you.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55So they take you on holiday and if it's fine they want you to sit
0:12:55 > 0:12:58in a deck chair, and if it's wet they want you to sit in a pub.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Mm, been there, done that.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02So you say, let's do something,
0:13:02 > 0:13:06so they offer you the choice of miniature golf or going fishing.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09All of a sudden, the deck chair looks better.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12We never went on holiday, he used to go by himself,
0:13:12 > 0:13:14he said I wouldn't enjoy it.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18You were stupid with him.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21According to him, I was stupid without him.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25No, you weren't. You just had low self esteem.
0:13:25 > 0:13:30Oh, ha! That's another thing, husbands have all the qualifications
0:13:30 > 0:13:34to have low self esteem, so how come they don't have any?
0:13:34 > 0:13:37He had self esteem enough for both of us.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41Well, they do, they sit around all day but you're supposed
0:13:41 > 0:13:45to recognise that underneath they're still this dynamic, athletic figure.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Not easy when you're ironing their underwear.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Well, I've told Eric, he's on notice.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56We're not going anywhere till he wakes his ideas up.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Best kept secret of the grocery trade.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03I thought that was food poisoning.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06He's asked me to keep it quiet.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08I'm not supposed to be flashing this about.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13He dressed this one for me as a favour.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16So explain to me how...
0:14:16 > 0:14:20It's a molecular thing, let's not get into quantum physics, eh?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Well, fine by me.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26It doubles the flavour. It's worth a try.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32I've got one at home that could do with her flavour improving.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Me too, a few years under your belt
0:14:34 > 0:14:38and they think that you've lost all your fizz and sparkle.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Has he got any more?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42It's supposed to be a trade secret.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Hey, I'm tight-lipped.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48I'm a sphinx. Ask the wife.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52she's always looking at me and demanding, "Well, say something."
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Look, I'm supposed to be delivering.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09If you'd stop struggling, I am delivering.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15You're getting married soon.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I know, I can't wait.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Oh, I've forgotten what the next address is now.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- Am I disturbing you?- Yes.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28- Good.- It's not good.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Oh, come on, it's not bad.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Yeah.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39Men, and I say this from several unfortunate experiences,
0:15:39 > 0:15:41are peculiar.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Well, they look peculiar from some
0:15:43 > 0:15:45of the angles a nurse has to get used to.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Oh, I couldn't be doing with angles like that.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50For me, they have to be in suit and tie.
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Even in bed?
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Well, if you buy them the right pyjamas,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56there's almost as much material.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00There's a measure of safety in thick flannelette.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03You're wary of men, yet you married three times.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05That's like banging your head repeatedly.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08I suppose I must be a romantic.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11They look so attractive in that moment that you first see
0:16:11 > 0:16:13that they're easily led.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Speaking of which, how is Mr Newbold?
0:16:16 > 0:16:19No sign of him yet coming in number four,
0:16:19 > 0:16:20but I'll bring him round.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23I'll show him my softer Delphine.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24That we'd all like to see.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28It's like learning Hitler was a dress designer.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Oh, it's there, just needs the right man to bring it out.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35I wasn't called Pixie for nothing.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39Pixie?! Who called you Pixie?
0:16:39 > 0:16:43My second husband, the one who was knocked down by a bus.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Not surprised if he couldn't see better than that.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50I remember him heavily bandaged in hospital.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54He saw me coming and through his pain he said...
0:16:54 > 0:16:57"Pixie."
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Doctor claimed what he said was "pig sick."
0:17:01 > 0:17:03But she disliked me
0:17:03 > 0:17:06because I'd queried his urine sample.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11I ran into Cyril, he tried to hide it
0:17:11 > 0:17:14but I could see this battered tin.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Yes, in the trade we call it a dressed tin.
0:17:17 > 0:17:22Oh, and then I ran into Eric and I saw his...dressed tin.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25- But I could see that he didn't want to talk about it either.- Oh.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Which always makes you curious.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31And you don't like asking but I made an exception.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Well, I see that you've got me over a barrel,
0:17:37 > 0:17:41I suppose I could always, I could always dress another tin.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Yes, yes, yeah.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46What about beans in chilli sauce?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Oh, lovely!
0:17:48 > 0:17:52Right, OK, let's have a look at this one then. Mm.
0:17:55 > 0:18:00Oh yes, this looks like it needs the Mittelhauser procedure.
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Mittelhauser?
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Oh, yes, yes. Carl Adelbert Mittelhauser, yes.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Very famous tin dresser.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16He was tin dresser to Mad King Ludwig of Bavaria.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19He used to dress all his tins, you know?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Yes. Got a medal for it, and a pension.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27He helped him marry his childhood sweetheart.
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Ah.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Yeah, just in time.
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Oh.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Yeah. Right, OK, let's see now.
0:18:38 > 0:18:43I think this one needs the Mittelhauser transverse opening blow,
0:18:43 > 0:18:48which I'm about to execute as we speak, all right.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15- Oh, yes.- Oh!
0:19:15 > 0:19:17- There you are, that should do it, yes.- Oh.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20- Put it in your bag, yes. - Oh, oh, thank you, Granville.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21Yes, shh, don't let anybody see it.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25- No, I won't. - All right, yes. Shh!
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Oh, look, it's the smiley twins.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36If you're looking for assisted dying, it's that way up the road.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40- We're having a problem with our image.- Oh?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42There's been some loss of respect.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Which is totally undeserved.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45She thinks I'm a muppet.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48I think he's a muppet but I'm not married to him
0:19:48 > 0:19:52so I think his resentment is justified.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Thank you, fellow muppet.
0:19:54 > 0:19:59We're in the deep doo-doo, Granville.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02She didn't like that dressed tin.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Mine hadn't even heard of quantum physics.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10What can you do when you've lost that electric attraction
0:20:10 > 0:20:12you once had for your woman?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Fuses have been blown, Granville.
0:20:16 > 0:20:21And I can tell you why, that is, if you've come here to spend
0:20:21 > 0:20:23and not fritter my time away.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26We'll spend, if we have to...
0:20:26 > 0:20:28And within reason.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31You see, there's your problem already.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34You're not spontaneous enough.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38You're not reckless, you're too cautions.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40I've got a mountain bike with ten speeds.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46I've got a pair of boxer shorts with a map of the London Underground on.
0:20:46 > 0:20:51When was the last time that you two surprised your wives?
0:20:53 > 0:20:57Well, every time I do she has a headache.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59It's not easy with the mother on the premises.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03Well, you've lost your shock value, you see, that's your problem.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06You've given up, they're bored with your routine,
0:21:06 > 0:21:09you, you need to shake 'em up a bit.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12You're talking about a wife who can pop a vicious left jab here.
0:21:13 > 0:21:19It'll have to be a shake that didn't trigger any violent countermeasures.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23Think back to when they thought that you were the man.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Think back to when you were courting them
0:21:26 > 0:21:31and you used to surprise them, you know, with little gifts, eh?
0:21:31 > 0:21:32Mm.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Hey! Hey up! Spend!
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Hello, a new face.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55You sold my wife something you called yaggis.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58It was salami.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02Ah, you see now one of the advantages of yaggis,
0:22:02 > 0:22:05apart from its erotic effects...
0:22:07 > 0:22:10..is that it looks and tastes like salami.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13Erotic effects?
0:22:19 > 0:22:21You didn't notice?
0:22:21 > 0:22:23I didn't eat it.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Well, it is advisable to eat it together, unless of course
0:22:26 > 0:22:30you want your partner to achieve lift off unilaterally.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Has she been, er, sneaking out more recently?
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Well, she plays golf, I wouldn't call that sneaking out.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Oh, more golf than usual?
0:22:40 > 0:22:42She's got a tournament coming.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Ah. More golf.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51I think you're going to need half a yaggis, you need to play catch up.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Oh, I'm not falling for that.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56You're not dealing with some dozy female now.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07Oh, er, sir, just, just a moment.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Guess what he had for breakfast.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Of course she's golfing.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28If she tells me she's going golfing then she's golfing.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31She takes that pricey set of clubs with her,
0:23:31 > 0:23:33where else would she be going?
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Lois? Where are you?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40What do you mean, "What do you mean, 'where are you?'"
0:23:40 > 0:23:43A husband's entitled to know where his wife is.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50You sound out of breath, Lois. Why are you breathing heavy?
0:23:50 > 0:23:52But how do I know you're golfing.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02She is golfing, I just called her.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Healthy, outdoors, innocent activity.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08I know she's outdoors, I heard the birds singing.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12A-ha, yes, sunshine, fresh air.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Exactly.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Birds singing. Yeah.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21I'm thinking picnic, you know, a lot of goodies spread
0:24:21 > 0:24:25out on a blanket, maybe a bottle of wine...
0:24:27 > 0:24:29clink of glasses...
0:24:31 > 0:24:34A female voice huskier than usual,
0:24:36 > 0:24:38murmuring contentedly.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46It's a simple question, Lois!
0:24:46 > 0:24:48How much of that damned yaggis have you been eating?
0:24:48 > 0:24:52He admits it tastes like salami! That's one effect.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54But what about the other?
0:24:54 > 0:24:58Oh, don't come the innocent, you know what other!
0:24:58 > 0:25:02Don't tell me you haven't been enjoying a bit of the other.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05I heard the birds singing, the clink of glasses!
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Don't you dare hang up on me. Lois!
0:25:10 > 0:25:11Lois!
0:25:18 > 0:25:19CAR HORN
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Ye gods, that yaggis!
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Chuff me, they're all on it.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Ah, Granville, I won't keep you a moment.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Before I go to Mr Newbold,
0:26:34 > 0:26:37I want to remind you what you could be missing.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52When are you expecting more yaggis?
0:26:52 > 0:26:56I could let you have some of that till we get the next delivery.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59- I'll take it. - Good for you. Ha.
0:27:05 > 0:27:10'They've been googling Mittelhauser, Carl Adelbert.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14'Huh, it's getting harder to pull their legs.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19'It's a nice night,
0:27:19 > 0:27:22'I hope there's someone out there enjoying his yaggis.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27'If you're listening, Arkwright, don't throw a wobbler
0:27:27 > 0:27:30'but I thought I might surprise Mavis with a holiday.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37'Or maybe a day trip.'
0:27:41 > 0:27:44Oh, fish and chips?
0:27:44 > 0:27:46My turn.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Oh.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06'Oh, Lord, I love a generous woman.'