Episode 7

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0:00:08 > 0:00:10So you're now a delivery point?

0:00:10 > 0:00:12Congratulations! I'm very happy for you.

0:00:12 > 0:00:14Just one thing...

0:00:14 > 0:00:17what does it mean?

0:00:17 > 0:00:20This should not be taken as any evidence that I am dim.

0:00:21 > 0:00:23Are you sure?

0:00:23 > 0:00:25I was top in school in geography.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27I was the only one who knew where Calcutta was.

0:00:29 > 0:00:33As long as you're sure that you can absorb new information.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36Oh, I can handle any amount of information.

0:00:36 > 0:00:39I'm a sponge, me.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Where is Calcutta anyway?

0:00:41 > 0:00:44The best way is down the A19 as far as York.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Oh.

0:00:48 > 0:00:52Supposing you buy something from the internet,

0:00:52 > 0:00:57they can have their stuff delivered here at the delivery point

0:00:57 > 0:00:59and then they can pick it up whenever they want.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01Pick up what?

0:01:01 > 0:01:04HORN TOOTS

0:01:04 > 0:01:06I'm late back.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09And why am I late back?

0:01:09 > 0:01:11I got caught by Mr Mottram.

0:01:11 > 0:01:13Not with Mrs Mottram, I hope.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16Do you mind? She's less feminine than Mr Mottram.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18It's only because she won't shave.

0:01:20 > 0:01:24Mr Mottram can talk forever about steam railways.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27I bet he doesn't know where Calcutta is.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47HE GROANS

0:01:56 > 0:01:58All right, come here.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03Come on, you're going to have to learn some time.

0:02:03 > 0:02:04Off you go.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16TILL RINGS

0:02:16 > 0:02:19CLATTERING

0:02:44 > 0:02:46TILL RINGS

0:02:49 > 0:02:52CLATTERING

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Ah!

0:03:06 > 0:03:10I'm getting very worried about this counter space.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13- Don't speak to me, I'm not here. - Well, where are you, then?

0:03:13 > 0:03:16Asleep, in bed, where any sane person ought to be.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19You young people, you don't know you're born.

0:03:19 > 0:03:23When I were your age, we had to get up before we even went to bed.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28Yes, I'm worried about this counter space.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30That's another thing.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Who in their right mind would be worrying about counter space?

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Because...

0:03:38 > 0:03:40You know,

0:03:40 > 0:03:43when the world is full of beauty and magnificence,

0:03:43 > 0:03:45and Georgina Middleford?

0:03:45 > 0:03:49We're going to have to cut you down on your carbohydrates, you.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52She looked at me and I could hear music.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Although, fair enough, we were in a disco.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04I saw him last night with his tart.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08Tart?! That were prime real estate, mate!

0:04:08 > 0:04:11If she was a building, she'd be Grade I listed.

0:04:11 > 0:04:14She looked like something Mother used to warn me against.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18And I was stupid enough to listen.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21I suppose it's too late now.

0:04:21 > 0:04:26No, no, it's never too late. Remember, there's Madge out there.

0:04:26 > 0:04:30Don't you think she lacks personality?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32She's got tonnes of personality.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35It's nasty, but it's there.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40You're not a great judge of women, Gastric.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43The wife said that, in her very last letter.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Oh, sorry! I didn't realise she was dead.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49She's not dead. She's living with a bloke in Luton.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Well, that's close enough.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57I came home, found this note,

0:04:57 > 0:05:01"I'm leaving you. Your dinner's in the oven."

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Macaroni cheese.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08I could forgive her the bloke in Luton, but I mean, macaroni cheese!

0:05:09 > 0:05:11Oh, dear! Gastric!

0:05:11 > 0:05:17Isn't it strange how fate moves in mysterious ways?

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Because Madge hates macaroni cheese!

0:05:21 > 0:05:24But is that enough for a relationship?

0:05:24 > 0:05:26Oh, yes, I mean, it's got legs,

0:05:26 > 0:05:30it's much better than any physical attraction.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32I don't wish to believe that.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Just a minute, you, Grade I listed,

0:05:35 > 0:05:38you do realise you need planning permission

0:05:38 > 0:05:40before you tamper with anything?

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Should've gone to Australia when we had the chance.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52I'm not going to Australia!

0:05:52 > 0:05:54It's full of spiders!

0:05:54 > 0:05:57Well, Auntie Jesse's daughter's doing all right.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59She speaks the language.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03At least they've got sunlight there.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06It's been dark here all week.

0:06:06 > 0:06:07Their noses go white.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10It's a sun cream.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13I don't suppose anything else is white.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16I'm still not going.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21Don't you ever get bored with the way things are?

0:06:21 > 0:06:24You're just like Dolly.

0:06:24 > 0:06:25Oh, Dolly was nice.

0:06:25 > 0:06:29And now she's dead. Fat lot of good it did her.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Are you saying nice is fatal?

0:06:31 > 0:06:34You think nasty lives longer?

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Doesn't it? And certainly often better.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39And it's going to be different in Australia?

0:06:39 > 0:06:43I'm just fed up with looking at people's heads.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Could be worse.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48You could be a prostate surgeon.

0:06:48 > 0:06:49SHE CHUCKLES

0:06:51 > 0:06:54Right, Leroy, here, come on, come in here a minute.

0:06:54 > 0:06:59- I want to show you something. - Oh, you drag me from me washing...

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Look, MY friends would be humbled at the range of my activities.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Yes, well, don't worry about that. Come in there, into the shop,

0:07:06 > 0:07:09where the customer stands, go on.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Is this an exam, hm?

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Will there be a written paper?

0:07:29 > 0:07:32See, we've been wasting this space, doing nothing with it.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34There's no room behind there as it is.

0:07:34 > 0:07:38This is prime advertising space here.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41Right in front of the customer's face, that.

0:07:41 > 0:07:43- Look.- May I say one word?

0:07:43 > 0:07:45- You may.- Balloons.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Oh, keep still!

0:07:55 > 0:07:58Hey, it's a haircut, not an execution!

0:07:59 > 0:08:03She's in one of those moods best described as "bad".

0:08:03 > 0:08:05I am this week, I admit.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07You don't do so bad most weeks.

0:08:08 > 0:08:12I've always held you up as the perfect example of feminine malice.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16We don't just come here for the hairstyles, you know -

0:08:16 > 0:08:19we come here for the lessons in nasty.

0:08:19 > 0:08:23Let's be honest, there's none of us need any lessons.

0:08:26 > 0:08:27What's it all about this week?

0:08:27 > 0:08:30I don't know, I just hate everything.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Sounds reasonable to me.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35We all get times like that.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37Wednesdays.

0:08:37 > 0:08:38Why Wednesdays?

0:08:38 > 0:08:42There's something about Eric on Wednesdays.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Six out of seven's not bad.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46I know what she means.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49My third husband was a nuisance on Fridays.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51It was his day off.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54He seemed to be under the impression that it was playtime.

0:08:55 > 0:09:00I wake up in the morning thinking, "Shouldn't there be something more?"

0:09:00 > 0:09:02That was him on Fridays.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07I think she needs a man.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10At least it would give her a focus to be miserable about.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Nobody NEEDS a man.

0:09:12 > 0:09:16They're just sort of inevitable.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18If you keep them below room temperature,

0:09:18 > 0:09:20you'd hardly know they were there.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23I don't fancy one full-time in the house,

0:09:23 > 0:09:26but it would be nice to have one for special occasions.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31They say married men make the best lovers...

0:09:31 > 0:09:34but I suspect that's when they're playing away.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38They say that woman in Hardwick Street

0:09:38 > 0:09:40was lifted completely out of her depression

0:09:40 > 0:09:42by him that came to fix her boiler.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45Well, I don't want anybody fixing MY boiler.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49You could use a bit of companionship.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Get a cat!

0:09:51 > 0:09:55Oh, dear, married bliss taking a bit of a dip?

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Do you know what I found in Eric's pocket?

0:09:59 > 0:10:01A lady's stocking.

0:10:01 > 0:10:02THEY GASP

0:10:03 > 0:10:05You go through his pockets?

0:10:31 > 0:10:32SHE SCREAMS

0:10:35 > 0:10:37I believe this is yours, madam?

0:10:37 > 0:10:38HE CHUCKLES

0:11:09 > 0:11:13Go on. Tell Leroy, he'll have some ideas.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15He's always covered in totty.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19- Wouldn't say always.- Tell him.

0:11:19 > 0:11:23- Get some help. - I'm beyond all human aid.

0:11:23 > 0:11:28His wife found a woman's stocking in his pocket.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31He's right, he's beyond all human aid.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34I think we ought to give him a bit of support.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Support?!

0:11:36 > 0:11:39I'm already wearing more than cricketers wear!

0:11:40 > 0:11:43She's got a brutal elbow when you're not expecting it!

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Listen, I've been listening to you lot in there.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51Now, come on, you ought to lighten up, right?

0:11:56 > 0:11:58There.

0:11:58 > 0:11:59HE CHUCKLES

0:12:10 > 0:12:12- Is this a delivery point? - Yes, it is.

0:12:12 > 0:12:15- I've got an item for you. - All right, bring it in.

0:12:31 > 0:12:32Sign here.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35We're going to need a bigger cat.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

0:12:38 > 0:12:40KNOCK AT DOOR

0:12:46 > 0:12:49How long are you planning on staying sulking up here?

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Forever.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Oh, well, as long as you've got some goal in mind.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57I should probably go on hunger strike.

0:12:57 > 0:13:01- No lunch, then? - I thought maybe after lunch.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Why are you always so placid?

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Oh, I was happy to find I'm placid.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11For years, I thought I was stupid.

0:13:12 > 0:13:16Don't you ever get totally, absolutely,

0:13:16 > 0:13:19mind-bogglingly fed up with things?

0:13:19 > 0:13:22You know I'm no good at decisions.

0:13:25 > 0:13:29So, she finds one stocking in your pocket

0:13:29 > 0:13:32and now she thinks you're being unfaithful?

0:13:32 > 0:13:34That's right.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Unfaithful with somebody with one leg?

0:13:39 > 0:13:43They nail you for one leg as viciously as two.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47Well, that's how they are.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49No sense of proportion.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53It seems to me not unreasonable that they might wonder

0:13:53 > 0:13:55how this stocking came to be in your pocket.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57I thought it were a scarf.

0:13:58 > 0:14:02Hang about, just a minute, when you were removing this stocking,

0:14:02 > 0:14:03didn't you think,

0:14:03 > 0:14:06"Well, it's a bit, you know, like, some way from the neck?"

0:14:06 > 0:14:11I've heard of poor sense of direction, but that's pushing it.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13I didn't take it off!

0:14:13 > 0:14:15It came to me empty.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21What, with no leg in it?

0:14:21 > 0:14:23Well, of course no leg in it!

0:14:23 > 0:14:26What would I be doing with a leg in me pocket?!

0:14:30 > 0:14:32Whose stocking is it?

0:14:32 > 0:14:34I've no idea.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36What, you told that to Kath?!

0:14:36 > 0:14:38No wonder she doesn't believe you.

0:14:38 > 0:14:39WE don't believe you.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41Even if it is true,

0:14:41 > 0:14:43on occasions like this, you're better off with a lie.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46Kath can spot a lie at 50 paces.

0:14:46 > 0:14:50There is no reasonable lie that can explain

0:14:50 > 0:14:52a lady's stocking in your pocket.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Can we stop talking about lies?!

0:14:56 > 0:14:58I was stood in the pub,

0:14:58 > 0:15:01this fella brushed up against me, he said,

0:15:01 > 0:15:05"Here, take this. I don't want the wife to catch me with it,"

0:15:05 > 0:15:07and then he rushed off out.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10- I- thought it were a scarf,

0:15:10 > 0:15:13so I put it in my pocket and waited for him to come back!

0:15:18 > 0:15:20I stand corrected.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22Thank you.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24- That's a damn good lie.- Yeah.

0:15:28 > 0:15:32He's looking better, I think, since I got him on antacids.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Does he suffer from excess acid?

0:15:34 > 0:15:36No more than the next chap.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39He used to sound like the bath emptying.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43Sounds like a nervous stomach to me.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46Eric's got one, and it's going to get worse.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48It's you.

0:15:48 > 0:15:50You fly straight to my stomach.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53You're in the first flush of a new romance, man.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55That's not where you're supposed to get excited.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57I'm new at this.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00Yes, and we'll both be old if you don't stir yourself.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02It's fear, that's what it is.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04You overwhelm me.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07Oh, surely not, after our magical picnic for two.

0:16:09 > 0:16:13- When?- Possibly very shortly, if you stop this bolshiness.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28HE HUMS TO HIMSELF

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Ah, you're just in time.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44For what?

0:16:44 > 0:16:46To catch the bus to paradise...

0:16:46 > 0:16:50from my bedroom. I've shifted the baked beans.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52But I've got Madge, who's taken to her bed.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55It's a bad time for buses to paradise.

0:16:55 > 0:16:58Oh, I've got a feeling the wheel's coming off already.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01She's on one of her two-day sulks.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04She goes to her bedroom and she practises being nasty.

0:17:04 > 0:17:07She has to practise being nasty?!

0:17:08 > 0:17:11Listen, I've got an idea.

0:17:12 > 0:17:19Why don't we send Gastric over to release some of his passion

0:17:19 > 0:17:23to show her that she's still wanted?

0:17:23 > 0:17:26She's off men. She'll be nasty to him.

0:17:26 > 0:17:30No, no, no! He's immune to nasty.

0:17:30 > 0:17:32He used to work for an energy company.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Ay up, I think I'm having a brainwave.

0:17:39 > 0:17:43What if I told the wife that YOU put the stocking there as a gag?

0:17:43 > 0:17:46Look at me. It's me.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48I'm not a kamikaze pilot.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Don't you think my missus would want to know

0:17:50 > 0:17:52how come I had a lady's stocking?

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Besides, you didn't help me when she found what looked like lipstick.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58Do you know why it looked like lipstick?

0:17:58 > 0:18:02- Because that's what it was! - You still could have helped.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03- What was- I- supposed to do?

0:18:03 > 0:18:08You could've said you saw me stumble against some lipstick by accident.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Be honest, you thought it were funny, me being caught.

0:18:11 > 0:18:15- Rubbish!- Just like I think it's funny you being caught

0:18:15 > 0:18:17with a stocking in your pocket.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19But you know I'm innocent!

0:18:19 > 0:18:20That's why it's hilarious.

0:18:31 > 0:18:32I hear on the jungle telegraph that

0:18:32 > 0:18:35Eric was caught with an unidentified female stocking.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38Mm-hm. Thrust upon him by a stranger.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40- As they do.- Do you believe that?

0:18:40 > 0:18:44I'm intrigued by it only being a single stocking.

0:18:44 > 0:18:45Oh, you're right!

0:18:45 > 0:18:49It's been my experience that, if you're going to lose one,

0:18:49 > 0:18:52you're probably going to lose two.

0:18:52 > 0:18:56- Oh, yeah.- Might one ask if that has been your experience?

0:18:57 > 0:19:00I don't have your depth of experience.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Oh, don't give up hope.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04There are solutions available.

0:19:09 > 0:19:14You know, Mr Newbold plays bowls and he's a very tall person.

0:19:14 > 0:19:15Well, I fear for his back.

0:19:15 > 0:19:20Well, under your regime, his front's not looking too happy.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22No, it's just the ugly caterpillar stage

0:19:22 > 0:19:25before you turn them into a butterfly.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27Stick insect, more like.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32Is the proprietor not on the premises, Leroy?

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Er, back shortly, Mrs Featherstone.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37Well, I think we'll wait.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Why should we wait?

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Leroy's perfectly capable.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43I often think that.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48And how are you, dear?

0:19:48 > 0:19:51Still mastering the skills of single parenthood?

0:19:51 > 0:19:53Nearly grown up now, Mrs Featherstone.

0:19:53 > 0:19:57Oh, well, I'm glad for you and how is your daughter?

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Pay no attention, Mrs Hussein.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Mrs Featherstone is having early training problems

0:20:02 > 0:20:04with her potential fourth husband.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Just teething troubles.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Fourth time?

0:20:08 > 0:20:10You should be grateful he's got any teeth.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37SHE SIGHS

0:20:48 > 0:20:51This way. That's it.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Hold him there. No, no!

0:20:54 > 0:20:57My way. To me. To me.

0:20:57 > 0:20:58Oh!

0:21:00 > 0:21:01BOTH: Agh!

0:21:03 > 0:21:04CRACK!

0:21:06 > 0:21:08Oh!

0:21:10 > 0:21:13Now look what you've done!

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Looks like it's always been there.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23Yeah.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26I ought to charge him for improvements.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31Gastric's only trying to cheer you up.

0:21:31 > 0:21:34I'm supposed to encourage Gastric

0:21:34 > 0:21:37because he'd be handy round the house?

0:21:37 > 0:21:40You're prepared to pimp me to fix your boiler?

0:21:41 > 0:21:44You will be a bitter, lonely, old woman.

0:21:47 > 0:21:49I'll give it a good try.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05Right, go on. Up you go.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09Quietly, and then, we'll raise the mouse.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12And when you get up there, put your arm around him

0:22:12 > 0:22:16and lean in, cheek to cheek, and smile.

0:22:16 > 0:22:19That is bound to melt the stoniest of hearts.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22- Do I say anything?- Like what?

0:22:22 > 0:22:24If you were to say anything, what would you say?

0:22:28 > 0:22:31Oh, stop being such a misery, Madge.

0:22:31 > 0:22:33From me and this mouse.

0:22:33 > 0:22:34HE CHUCKLES

0:22:35 > 0:22:38Oh! Just smile, will you?

0:22:38 > 0:22:40Now, go on, up you go.

0:22:40 > 0:22:43LADDER CLATTERS Sh! Be quiet.

0:22:43 > 0:22:47Go on. Remember, quietly. Give us a hand with this mouse.

0:22:51 > 0:22:53Here we go.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Ups-a-daisy.

0:23:01 > 0:23:03And don't forget, put your arm around it.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Lean in, cheek to cheek.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Yeah.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22Argh!

0:23:24 > 0:23:26Oh!

0:23:26 > 0:23:28Don't worry, I'm all right.

0:23:28 > 0:23:29It broke me fall.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Look what you've done to this mouse.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34Oh, I'm sorry you're so upset about me(!)

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Somebody's going to be coming to collect this!

0:23:38 > 0:23:40- Thank you.- Oh!

0:23:43 > 0:23:44Ooh!

0:23:49 > 0:23:50HE COUGHS

0:23:55 > 0:23:57It's wet through.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Of course it's wet through!

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Your lady friend poured a bucket of water over it.

0:24:02 > 0:24:06My lady friend? I like the sound of that.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08I could get used to that.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Right then, sir, what are we doing for you?

0:24:10 > 0:24:13- Backcombed, or just a blow-dry? - Come on, Leroy!

0:24:13 > 0:24:16Just get it dry before the owner comes.

0:24:20 > 0:24:25Oh, forget it. Forget it. We'll never get it dry like this.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28We're going to have to try and dry it naturally,

0:24:28 > 0:24:30you know, in the open air.

0:24:30 > 0:24:31Right, come on. Follow me.

0:24:35 > 0:24:36Push it down.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39Watch its head. Watch its head.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48Now what?

0:24:48 > 0:24:52Well, we've got to keep the air moving around it.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Right.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57To you. To me.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59To you.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02You'll put a window out. You'll put a window out.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17- Right.- It won't work. In my opinion, no chance.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19Come on, Mr Muscle.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Right, get it spinning.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24Hey, hey, hey!

0:25:24 > 0:25:26Not dragging it across the floor.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29- Who's doing this? - You. Badly! Now, come on.

0:25:29 > 0:25:31- Get it up into the air.- Right.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33- That's it.- That's it.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Faster. Get it higher.

0:25:37 > 0:25:41Now, let out more rope, so it gets more breeze.

0:25:41 > 0:25:43That's it. More rope.

0:25:46 > 0:25:49Oh, dear! Oh, dear!

0:25:49 > 0:25:51Don't worry, don't worry. I'm all right.

0:25:53 > 0:25:55Is it all right?

0:25:55 > 0:25:58Oh, it's still soaking.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01It's never going to work like this.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03We need more air round it.

0:26:03 > 0:26:06We need a vehicle.

0:26:06 > 0:26:09I know, Gastric's Mini.

0:26:09 > 0:26:10- Ha!- Oh, yes.- That's it.

0:26:10 > 0:26:13Come on. Lift your end. Come on.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18Right, Gastric, ready when you are.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39Well, she's getting some breeze now.

0:26:54 > 0:26:55TYRES SCREECH

0:27:04 > 0:27:05Oh, 'eck!

0:27:08 > 0:27:10That is a dead mouse.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12Right. Come on, give us a hand here.

0:27:16 > 0:27:19'Looks like I've bought me a mouse.

0:27:20 > 0:27:23'You wouldn't have liked living with him anyway.

0:27:26 > 0:27:32'It's a good job I got a reduction on account of your condition.'

0:27:40 > 0:27:42Madge has got a dripping tap.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45Note who she turns to in an emergency?

0:27:45 > 0:27:47THEY LAUGH

0:27:51 > 0:27:54Go on. Say it.

0:27:54 > 0:27:55Hello, Granville.

0:27:55 > 0:27:57Oh!

0:27:57 > 0:27:59Gets me every time.

0:27:59 > 0:28:01It's like music.

0:28:01 > 0:28:05- Fish and chips?- Mm-hm! - Madge is busy with a dripping tap.

0:28:05 > 0:28:06Oh!

0:28:06 > 0:28:09- Can you help me get the mouse inside?- Mm-hm.

0:28:09 > 0:28:12How come she's suddenly got a dripping tap?

0:28:12 > 0:28:14It wasn't as hard as I thought.