0:00:05 > 0:00:08What kind of underpants are these?
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Oh, those?
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Those are underpants for the digital age.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17These are the cutting edge of modern technology, them.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Cutting edge?
0:00:20 > 0:00:22They're just what you need in your undershorts.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25These little wonders were invented in the workshop
0:00:25 > 0:00:30of one Walton Midgely, inventor extraordinaire.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34We had enough trouble selling his inflatable roller skates.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Yeah, but that was only because the water were choppy.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I mean, had it been calm,
0:00:40 > 0:00:43that Mr Ellis would have got right across that canal.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48- And being inflatable, they didn't sink, though, did they?- No.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52It's a pity Mr Ellis did.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57- Mmm.- So, what we got this time?
0:01:00 > 0:01:02"The world in your shorts"?
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Mmm. Connect to the internet.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07You're never without a signal.
0:01:07 > 0:01:11"Stay connected, cold wash, minimum iron".
0:01:12 > 0:01:16And the beauty is, as you're wearing them
0:01:16 > 0:01:17and walking about in them,
0:01:17 > 0:01:20they charge your battery!
0:02:11 > 0:02:14All right, you win.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23Wha...? Steady, steady. You'll be getting here before you've got up.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26I admit to a swagger. I'm on a roll.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29You could soon become obnoxious.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Mother used to say that.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34- Mother knows best.- You think?
0:02:34 > 0:02:37You should have seen who she picked for my old man.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40That's the nature of fathers, to be weird, don't you think?
0:02:49 > 0:02:53- What brings you in this early?- I'm getting on better with that Madge.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57I thought every time she sees you she goes "Ooooh..."
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Not any more. I've got her down to,
0:03:00 > 0:03:04"Ooh, you could do with losing some weight."
0:03:04 > 0:03:06So, what have you got for losing weight?
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Ah-ha. I've got the very idea.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13It's expensive, but you'll never regret it.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15How expensive?
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Oh, worse than that.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Well, look, if you want to be a greyhound, it's going to cost.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Couldn't we start with labrador?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Right. I've done the orders.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34You know what we've been doing wrong in this business?
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Overcharging?
0:03:35 > 0:03:39Apart from that. No.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43We've been neglecting services.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47You see, any competent business supplies not only goods,
0:03:47 > 0:03:48but services.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Name one service we could offer.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54I'm not going out cleaning.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Don't be ridiculous. Nobody's asked you to.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Mind you, it isn't a bad idea.
0:04:04 > 0:04:10No, I'm thinking more of lifestyle guidance.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Like personal training.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Weight loss. Yes, ah-ha. Mm-hm.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Everybody knows you help people lose weight by relieving them
0:04:23 > 0:04:24of their money.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Leave that alone.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Forget it.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33The thing we ought to do, if you want to modernise this business,
0:04:33 > 0:04:36right, is offer a decent vegetarian section.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Oh, don't tell me you're still pining after that loopy bird,
0:04:40 > 0:04:42- are you?- She's gorgeous.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46She's a librarian. How loopy is that?
0:04:46 > 0:04:49She stands on street corners waving placards.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Yes, on behalf of animals.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53She's very fond of animals.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Not on her plate.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Ey up, Leroy, here they come,
0:05:01 > 0:05:05fresh from last night's romantic evening with their wives.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11- Did the Earth move, fellas? - Not very far, by the look of it.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14We just came in to tell you that romantic package you sold us
0:05:14 > 0:05:19- was a flop.- You told us that romantic package would work.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21So, we tried it.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Champagne, chocolates, soft music.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Near-lethal amounts of aftershave.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Well, credit where it's due,
0:05:30 > 0:05:32you smell delicious.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Are you saying that they said no to your gifts?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40Not to the gifts. I've never seen chocolate disappear so fast.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Or champagne.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45I mean, the wife can shift some bubbles when she's roused.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48And when I say roused, I'm speaking optimistically.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52But what about soft lighting, eh? Sweet music?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Didn't you keep the lights down low?
0:05:55 > 0:05:59So low, I trod on her bare foot, didn't I?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01At least you made contact with something bare.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06This looks like a case for plan B.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07We can't afford it.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- You don't know what it is yet.- We're just guessing.- All right, all right.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Well, you'll be sorry because, you see,
0:06:14 > 0:06:1883% of people who use this product
0:06:18 > 0:06:22reported an increase in domestic...
0:06:22 > 0:06:24..connectivity.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Stop trying to beat the Joneses. They're waving a white flat.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42It's her. She says her life needs a change.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45What, and painting one room's going to do that?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47The difficulty I find in life is trying to get his old jumper
0:06:47 > 0:06:50off him for the wash.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Mine was the same.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55They'd get a favourite, and you'd think it was for life.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59I said, "Eric, it's got gravy on it." He says...
0:06:59 > 0:07:02AS ERIC: "That's not gravy, it's rust.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06"The corrosion of our once-playful relationship."
0:07:06 > 0:07:10That's what they're built for - playtime.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Mine was always playing away.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15There were very few home fixtures.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I'm surprised you stuck it for so long.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20No, not really.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22You were never very bright.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Well, she's happier than you.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Then again, so is everybody.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Well, I find that being miserable works.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33You're not inclined to spend as much as when you're happy.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37I know I had a bad marriage, but I was never without hope.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39He was a heavy smoker.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Rhythm! Find your rhythm.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Trust me, I'm your personal trainer.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Come on, get a move on, cos Mavis has to get back to decorating.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00- I'm seeing spots.- Yes, that's good, spots are good, yes.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Are they good?
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Yes. You've got spots that are good.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12You never said.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16- Which spots?- Well, I'd like to be accurate about this.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Can we arrange a site meeting?
0:08:19 > 0:08:22I think I'm dying!
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Ah, yes, you're feeling the burn. That's good.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Dying is good, yes.
0:08:31 > 0:08:36Just one moment, madam, please. There.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Is he dead?
0:08:44 > 0:08:47No, no, it's just the excitement of our special offers.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51He's lying, I'm dead.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Oh!
0:09:25 > 0:09:27HE CHUCKLES
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Oh, taking the old microwave for a walk, are we?
0:09:33 > 0:09:37My wife bought this thing here yesterday.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- Lord knows why.- Oh, yes.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43One of our occasional technological bargains, this.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- It's lethal.- Oh.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48I'm sorry she's dead,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51but you see, we can't do anything about things that happen
0:09:51 > 0:09:53off the premises.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55- She's not dead!- Oh.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58But that's no thanks to you.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00This thing is dangerous.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04Well, it can't be that dangerous, you just walked in with it.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06It's not switched on.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Well, nobody is round here, this is a cultural cul-de-sac, this.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13But then again, that's the way we prefer it.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17You sold her a dangerous item.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20It flashes and spits.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27And the turntable goes round and round in a blur of speed.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Well, what's the matter? Don't you like fast food?
0:10:30 > 0:10:31I demand my money back.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Now look what you've done.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Will you take that damn thing away? They're laughing at me.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- It's embarrassing.- I wondered if we could meet
0:10:46 > 0:10:50just once before I have to go and train as an astronaut.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52You're not listening.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55If you give me your number, I'll call you from Mars.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Question...
0:10:58 > 0:11:00What does your mother look like?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Why would that be any business of yours?
0:11:02 > 0:11:04I want to know how you're going to age.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07It's all right now, kidding people you're gorgeous,
0:11:07 > 0:11:09but what's down the line?
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Nothing for you.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13I do impressions.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Maintain my own bicycle.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19You think Shakespeare was a vegetarian?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Jane Austen used to send out for pizza.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Pepperoni.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Oh, there he is, the jewel in Madge's crown.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Well, have you recovered?
0:11:41 > 0:11:43- I'm hungry.- That sounds like a yes.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- You nearly killed me out there.- But you're looking better for it.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49I thought I were dead.
0:11:49 > 0:11:54I get the same reaction whenever I'm on the phone to a national company.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- You ready for a snack?- I am.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01- That much exercise leaves a hole that needs filling.- Right.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04OK, alert your taste buds.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07This will be ready in 30 seconds.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Oh, make it 29.
0:12:09 > 0:12:1329, sir. All right. There we go.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Thank you.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Ey up, it's getting nasty with me pasty.
0:12:22 > 0:12:27No, no. It's what we call in the trade as enhancing the flavour.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35MICROWAVE DINGS There, right.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Oh, ah, oh, ah, eh, oh!
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Hey! Oh, ah, oh!
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Ahh! Ahhh! Ahh!
0:12:53 > 0:12:56It's only me!
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Oh, there you are.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Did you miss me?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- I haven't had time.- I like that in a man.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Nothing good ever came from wearing your heart on your sleeve.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13I think mine's somewhere under my sock.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Oh, stamping again.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19- You'll wear your eyes out. - It's called philately.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Philately will get you nowhere!
0:13:22 > 0:13:23That's a joke.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Well, you might show some reaction.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30The only reaction you provoke is fear.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Oh, bless you for that.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36That was the basis for all my three previous marriages.
0:13:37 > 0:13:42Boredom time is over. Now, what shall we do?
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Oh. Oh, yes.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Now, that is a very good decision you've just made.
0:13:48 > 0:13:49I've made?
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Yes, why not? I don't expect you to be a doormat.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Later on, possibly,
0:13:54 > 0:13:57but not during this intensely physical courtship period.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00When have we been intensely physical? I must have missed it.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04Well, we haven't. And I appreciate your iron self control.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Less of a struggle than you might think.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10No, Mr Newbold, I know the battle it must have been.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11But courage, Mr Newbold -
0:14:11 > 0:14:15soon I will let you loose to do your will on me.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Why do you seek my company when you dislike me?
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Dislike? This is not dislike, Mr Newbold.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23This is care.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26I am your rock, your security...
0:14:26 > 0:14:29..your fiancee.
0:14:29 > 0:14:34- But I've never bought you a ring. - Oh, bless you for remembering.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36We'll get one later in the week.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Oh, I see your friends are here.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45It's nice to have friends...
0:14:45 > 0:14:50- ..except possibly those two.- What's wrong with those two?- Oh, nothing.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53And I'm sure they'll be perfectly all right without you
0:14:53 > 0:14:54now that you're committed to me.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I can't just drop my friends.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59No, of course not, not straight away.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03- Kiss me first.- What? Kiss?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Yes, it's that thing where you pucker up your lips.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Yes, I know what it is.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Yes, well, I sometimes wonder.
0:15:09 > 0:15:14I'm asking for a courtesy, that's all. It sends a signal.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16A peck on the cheek will do.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19I don't want hands or tongues where they shouldn't be.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32Did you see that? He has this tendency to maul me.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39Ooh. Is it me or is it hot in here?
0:15:39 > 0:15:42I like this kind.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46But then I like this sort as well.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Well, why don't you take them both?
0:15:49 > 0:15:52That's brilliant! I'll take both.
0:15:52 > 0:15:57By the way, where's this hotspot you're advertising?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Don't ask.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01PHONE RINGS Excuse me.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Hello, Arkwright.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09PHONE CONTINUES TO RING Hello?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Oh, that's funny, there's nobody there.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14PHONE CONTINUES TO RING
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Hadn't you better answer it?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Well, it's supposed to be a hotspot.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26It's not supposed to perform as a phone.
0:16:26 > 0:16:27RINGING STOPS
0:16:29 > 0:16:30I hope it wasn't urgent.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Probably somebody just trying to sell me some double glazing.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- Why are you buying her a ring? - I have no idea.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43I'd no input into that decision.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45There must be a solution.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Believe me, I thought about it...
0:16:47 > 0:16:50..but my garden's not big enough.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54And she'll spoil my geraniums.
0:16:56 > 0:17:01Whoa. I think something's spoiling my geraniums.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Listen to me.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06This is Eric the Peacemaker talking,
0:17:06 > 0:17:09with a suggestion less drastic.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Mrs Featherstone has attached herself to me
0:17:11 > 0:17:15- by a grip which is impervious to less drastic.- And do you know why?
0:17:15 > 0:17:20- I must have sinned heavily in some previous life.- You're lucky.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23We're finding it increasingly difficult getting much sinning
0:17:23 > 0:17:25going in this life.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Why do you think she's attracted to you?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29She hates men.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31I'm a human sacrifice.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35No, you are a formal dresser.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Collar, tie, polished shoes.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40She loves all that.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Yeah, yeah, he's right. You want to go a bit down-market.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48PHONE RINGS
0:17:50 > 0:17:52- ALL:- It's not mine.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58RINGING CONTINUES
0:18:16 > 0:18:18How's your hotspot?
0:18:18 > 0:18:22Warm. I fear for my future offspring.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24It's very weird hearing it talking to you.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28Nevertheless, you both look cheerier than when last seen.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31It's the warm glow you get from doing a good deed.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35- Helping your fellow man. - Of whom are we speaking?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Old Newbold.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39We're trying to get him out of the clutches of Mrs Featherstone.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Oh, now, hold on.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Do you think that's a good idea? Because, you see,
0:18:43 > 0:18:45I think they make a perfect team.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47She's been reducing him to a grub.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49You see a grub,
0:18:49 > 0:18:53I see an emerging butterfly.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Mr Newbold?!
0:19:08 > 0:19:11What have you done to him? Get inside the shop.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Go on, get in, quick.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22You look like a map of the London Underground.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25It washes off.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27What do you think you look like?
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Very unappealing to Mrs Featherstone.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31That's where you're wrong.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Didn't she ever tell you what her favourite movies was?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Well, I don't see Mrs Featherstone at the movies.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Maybe a Witches' Sabbath.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43No, it was A Streetcar Named Desire.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47She fell head-over-underwear for Marlon Brando...
0:19:47 > 0:19:49..looking exactly like you.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Well, I don't look like Marlon Brando.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Now, she'll never let you go.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Stay there. Er, Leroy? Come here?
0:20:04 > 0:20:06- Mr Newbold?- But who does he remind you of?
0:20:12 > 0:20:15MUMBLED AND INDISTINCT: Marlon Brando.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Arlon Grango.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23WHISPERS: Marlon Brando!
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Oh, yeah. Marlon Brando.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36There's tea in the pot.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41You do look after me logistically, I'll give you that.
0:20:41 > 0:20:45You still think your mother makes better Yorkshire puddings than me.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- Only marginally.- Wrong answer.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49You undervalue me, Kath.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52You think I'm just an Eric.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Your Eric. Part of the furniture.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Oh. Oh, there's more, is there?
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Sorry, have I been missing something?
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I am at the cutting edge of technology.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06I am permanently connected to the internet.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09I am a walking hotspot.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11PHONE RINGS
0:21:15 > 0:21:18RINGING CONTINUES
0:21:23 > 0:21:26I knew that's where most men's ideas come from.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30It's just teething troubles. The phone's supposed to take the call.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32We'll get it sorted.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Eric, your crotch is ringing.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Do you want me to leave the room so you can talk to it?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40There's no need to be sarcastic.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46RINGING CONTINUES
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Hello?
0:21:48 > 0:21:49RINGING CONTINUES
0:21:54 > 0:21:57We'll keep him in here till Merle comes.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03Merle? You can't throw him to Merle.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10I know, but... Merle?
0:22:10 > 0:22:12She'll be coming here to pick up her order -
0:22:12 > 0:22:15the order that you refused to deliver.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Wait, I am going nowhere near Merle.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20You should be ashamed of even thinking about sending me.
0:22:20 > 0:22:21She can't eat you.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24She ate Mr Pendlebury.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28That's different, he was left-handed.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Are you sure I look like Marlon Brando?
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Well, there are three women outside the front of the shop
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- waiting for your autograph.- Really?
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Just keep him here. I'll let you know when Merle comes.
0:22:49 > 0:22:54If you don't want him straying, you best keep him at home.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58Anyways, how can you be so sure I've been with him?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Am I meant to remember everybody?
0:23:01 > 0:23:05If you want confirmation, you better send me a picture.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10What are you smiling at?
0:23:10 > 0:23:14Nothing, just... You know, grocer's welcome.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- We never got it together, did we?- No.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20So, what are you doing to fill your empty nights?
0:23:20 > 0:23:24Well, not as much as you, obviously.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28HE COUGHS/KNOCKS ON DOOR Sorry, sorry.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31- Have you got my order ready? - Oh, yes, I have.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33It's down here behind the counter.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37I've heard all sorts goes off behind that counter.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40No, that's just a rumour put about by Tesco.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49How are you today, Merle?
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Available for parties.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54And who might this tasty morsel be, then?
0:23:54 > 0:23:59Well, this Marlon Brando lookalike goes by the name of...
0:23:59 > 0:24:01..Pitbull.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03That's not strictly true.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Don't fight it. Live up to it.
0:24:07 > 0:24:12Ohhh! These high heels make your ankles ache, don't they?
0:24:12 > 0:24:14I don't know, I've never worn high heels.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Merle, leave him! He's shy.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20He doesn't look shy to me.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22He looks combat ready!
0:24:22 > 0:24:26Leroy! Give Merle a hand home with this box.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Nay, don't be giving a lad a man's job!
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Here. Give a lady a hand.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35There'll be refreshments at the end of it.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Come along, Pitbull.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Ooh, you've kept your figure.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44I bet you didn't know you were keeping it for me.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47GRANVILLE CHUCKLES
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- You can't let her just walk off with him!- Oh, it'll be all right,
0:24:50 > 0:24:53just for a while. It'll further his education.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58- He'll never be the same.- Don't worry, I'll send in a replacement.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Where are you going to find someone as stupid,
0:25:01 > 0:25:03reckless or as brave as that?
0:25:03 > 0:25:05SHOP BELL RINGS
0:25:06 > 0:25:08HE BELCHES
0:25:08 > 0:25:10What have you got for a midday snack?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12You'd be surprised.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18GEARS CRUNCH
0:25:22 > 0:25:25If it's just a dripping tap, how come it's an emergency?
0:25:25 > 0:25:29Oh, I think you'll find it is an emergency.
0:25:29 > 0:25:34- And what am I doing here?- Hm?- I know you've told me, but I've forgotten.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38Well, I need you here to witness Gastric's skills,
0:25:38 > 0:25:41so that you can go home and tell Madge
0:25:41 > 0:25:43how good he is with the ladies. Hm?
0:25:43 > 0:25:46- Is Mavis coming in with me? - No!
0:25:46 > 0:25:51Er, I mean, no, she'll stay here and witness it from here.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Shouldn't take too long.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55HE CHUCKLES
0:26:06 > 0:26:08I've come cos you've got a drip.
0:26:08 > 0:26:13You're not kidding. I hope you've got more going for you.
0:26:17 > 0:26:22You see how attractive he is to women? Now you can tell your Madge.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Oh. 'Ey!
0:26:33 > 0:26:38You see? There are bigger perils than Mrs Featherstone.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41I never realised there was so much meat about.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44- I can understand people going vegetarian.- Oh, aye.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50- Do you think we ought to leave Gastric?- Yes, leave him.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Let's get away from here.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Doesn't look like a bad back to me!
0:27:03 > 0:27:05- Where to? - Anywhere!
0:27:05 > 0:27:07HE LAUGHS Right!
0:27:16 > 0:27:18That Merle's a pearl.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24I bet we don't see Pitbull any more.
0:27:28 > 0:27:33I thought Gastric was moving BETTER when he fled from Merle's place.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Just shows, my training's paying off.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44PHONE RINGS
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Oh, dear! I bet it's a wrong number.
0:27:50 > 0:27:53It's really no place for strangers.