0:00:07 > 0:00:10You think they'll ever find dark matter?
0:00:12 > 0:00:14I didn't know they'd lost it.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20It's fundamental to understanding what the world is made of.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23I know what the world is made of.
0:00:23 > 0:00:28It's made of people walking about out there with my money.
0:00:28 > 0:00:29Your money?
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Well, it is once I get them in the shop.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Morning, Mrs Hemstock.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38I'm not speaking to you.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41You sold my husband a right load of rubbish.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Well, I couldn't resist it - you've broken his spirit.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49He'd buy anything, him.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58"Art exhibition." Hmm.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00- What are you entering?- Me?- Yeah.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Oh, I shouldn't enter, you. You've got no chance.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08You know, I've often thought, "Who does Gastric remind me of?"
0:01:08 > 0:01:10And you know who it is?
0:01:10 > 0:01:14Picasso. Dead ringer.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Say hello to Pablo.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Oh, I can't paint.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21I mean, I could do a bedroom.
0:01:21 > 0:01:26Well, do something in metal, where your skills lie, hmm?
0:01:26 > 0:01:30Just think how you'd impress Madge if you did something artistic.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33HE BURPS
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Apart from that.
0:01:35 > 0:01:40I know - metal sculpture. Release your inner artist.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42You could be the next big thing.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Madge says I am a big thing.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Ah! Ah, ah!
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Ah. Eh, give me my...hand...back.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Oh!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Oh! Give it me back, will you?!
0:02:47 > 0:02:52That's it, now. You don't get any money at all.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55I think Arkwright's upset this morning.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56I think he got annoyed
0:02:56 > 0:03:00because I bought all that tinned stuff against his advice.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Spoke to you about it, did he?
0:03:02 > 0:03:05No, but I can feel him t-tugging me by the back pocket.
0:03:06 > 0:03:11Oh, sacred back pocket, with his great wodge of notes.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Yes, there's nothing more reassuring, you know,
0:03:14 > 0:03:18than a roll of paper money at body temperature.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21And he was right about that tinned stuff.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24Should have listened to your back pocket.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26- Are you asleep again?- Hmm?
0:03:26 > 0:03:30It's not again, it's the same one from last night.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35Don't tell me you're dreaming about her at the library again, are you?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37She continues to ignore me.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Tried everything within my budget.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Did you give her your Tommy Cooper impression, hmm?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Did it, got nowhere.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- AS TOMMY COOPER:- Just like that!
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Yeah, yeah, just like that.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Didn't you wonder why this stuff was so cheap?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I mean, are you even sure you know what's inside?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Tinned food.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07There you are, see.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11What? It's all written in Chinese!
0:04:11 > 0:04:14How can you possibly know what's in it?
0:04:14 > 0:04:15Hmm?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Ah, duck in plum sauce.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22You don't know that!
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Well, they don't know that either, do they?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Yes, but they will when they open the tin and then fetch it back.
0:04:27 > 0:04:32Then we will refer them to the "no refund" policy
0:04:32 > 0:04:34clearly written on the outside of the tin.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Why do I have to come at this hour?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47And why the back door?
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Did anyone see you?- No. Who's about at this hour?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54You're not dressed.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Don't get excited.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00There's a nightdress under here you'd need a map to find your way through.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- I'm not excited.- No, I've noticed.
0:05:03 > 0:05:08We have to talk about your improper advances.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09I've made no improper advances.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12No, that's what I've noticed, and it's got to stop.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16You've brought me here at this hour to make improper advances?
0:05:16 > 0:05:20You can shelve that idea. I'm nobody's plaything.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Then what's the urgency?
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Urgency - now, that is a good word, and it's time you showed some.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28How long have we been romantically coupled?
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Is that what it's called?
0:05:31 > 0:05:36- It seems like forever.- Long enough for the gossip to begin arising.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- Well, I've heard no gossip.- Nor have I, and it's high time it began.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44I won't have people thinking we're doing nothing worth talking about.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47You want people to gossip about us?
0:05:47 > 0:05:50How do you think it looks if we're below their suspicions?
0:05:50 > 0:05:54No, it's time to upgrade your image, Mr Newbold.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57You are about to reach new heights of impishness.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Dare we say saucy?
0:06:00 > 0:06:03It doesn't even sound like me.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05I wouldn't know where to begin.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Well, you can park a motor car, you'll be fine.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Now, I want you to leave.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16No, no, no. No, this time by the front door,
0:06:16 > 0:06:20making all the noise you like, and making sure someone sees you.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- But won't they think...? - Won't they just?
0:06:23 > 0:06:27And it would help if you can manage to look smug.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29As if you've just climbed Everest.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31And without a guide.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35- There's never a Sherpa when you need one.- Wait.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Ah, ah, no, no, no - don't straighten it.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41That's it, we want the abandoned look.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Smile, man. Off you go.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Oh, you rakish devil, you.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Good morning, Mr Newbold.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- You're up bright and early?- Early?
0:06:59 > 0:07:04- Yes, I admit to early.- Are we to assume it's been a restless night?
0:07:04 > 0:07:08I slept like a log, as you do in your own bed.
0:07:08 > 0:07:09Naturally.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11I thought I recognised you.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14I thought, "That looks like Mr Newbold...
0:07:14 > 0:07:17"..just leaving Mrs Featherstone's."
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Oh, good heavens. Is that the time?
0:07:20 > 0:07:22You can read your watch in this light?
0:07:22 > 0:07:25You must have very keen eyes, Mr Newbold.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28There seems to be no shortage of keen eyes.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Good day to you, Mrs Hussein.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32And to you, Mr Newbold.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Go on, then. What is it?
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Oh, you tell me. I daren't explore further.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Yes.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58A hint of exotic spices with, erm...
0:07:58 > 0:08:02..a cheeky tang of...
0:08:02 > 0:08:04..almost incense.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Yeah, smells delicious.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09It smells like a blocked drain!
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Yes, but a mystical, eastern blocked drain.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17It's rare delicacies, isn't it? They like it strong.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Strong?
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Oh, that's muscle-bound.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25Gourmets, right, they like more
0:08:25 > 0:08:27pong for their pound.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Just pour it in there, let's have a look.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Oh.
0:08:44 > 0:08:45Well?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Goes well with chips.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58I just happened to be at the window.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Again?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02You actually saw him leaving?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04I wouldn't say leaving.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06It were more like sneaking out.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Should we be jumping to conclusions?
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Well, I don't see why not.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12This one's made for a jump.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15I must say, he did look a bit jumpy.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Maybe he's not a morning person.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Well, he doesn't do so badly at nights!
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Good morning, ladies.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Am I interrupting something?
0:09:30 > 0:09:33- No.- No.- I only ask because it was suddenly
0:09:33 > 0:09:36so quiet you could hear a reputation drop.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39We were just talking about some...
0:09:39 > 0:09:41- Weather.- The best way to Middlesbrough.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44- Him from Wilson Street that drives the bus.- In any weather.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46But not to Middlesbrough.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Mrs Hussein was just telling us...
0:09:49 > 0:09:51I wouldn't say telling!
0:09:51 > 0:09:54It were more like... What can I say?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56- Gossiping?- That's a bit harsh.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Where's the harm in a bit of mild gossip?
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Could one inquire whom it was about?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- Her from number 24. - SAME TIME:- Ian from Denby Street.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Two for the price of one.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Ah, now this one is different.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Different what?
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Yeah, looks interesting.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31It looks unappetising.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34It just needs cooking, that's all.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Go on, then.- Hmm?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Read the cooking instructions.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Well, using my best grocer's guess,
0:10:42 > 0:10:46I imagine it's probably this bit here that says something like...
0:10:46 > 0:10:50HE SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:10:50 > 0:10:53..which means, "Just warm it up."
0:10:54 > 0:10:57They eat snakes, you know.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Insects. They eat dogs.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04There's nothing in there to indicate that that is dog.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Well, it's not going to bark, is it?
0:11:20 > 0:11:25Don't feel sorry for me. I hate that.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- I prefer to keep smiling through pain.- I don't feel sorry for you.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31OK. Let's step back a pace.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Ignore my opening remarks.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Go ahead - feel sorry for me.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I saw you putting the damn thing on outside.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43In that case, I may have to turn around and leave.
0:11:59 > 0:12:04Now, they say that it was you who encouraged Gastric
0:12:04 > 0:12:06to do something artistic.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10Yes, I thought that he was underestimated.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13You know, creative-wise.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- I just thought he were ready. - Not only him.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18You want ready, Granville?
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I'm on speed dial.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25Oh, right. Now, what-what-what could I help you with, Mrs Featherstone?
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Those long winter evenings.
0:12:28 > 0:12:29Yes, yes.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Well, of course, that's a bad time for grocers, because we've got
0:12:33 > 0:12:37to dance with bells on our feet for, you know, the winter festivals.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Yeah. Excuse me. Yes.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46And then, of course... And then, of... Ah, there... Yes.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Of course, there is also the candlelit vigil
0:12:49 > 0:12:52in memory of p-pounds, shillings and pence.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Do you need help, Granville?
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Help! Yes, yes, I do need help.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Granville, I have a confession to make.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06You will be hearing stories about Mr Newbold.
0:13:06 > 0:13:12There is a rumour that he has been seen leaving my premises.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14In a hurry?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16No, not in a hurry!
0:13:16 > 0:13:19But outside respectable hours.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Well, yes!
0:13:22 > 0:13:24HE LAUGH
0:13:24 > 0:13:28That's the way to go Mrs Featherstone, yes, yes.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Seize the moment!
0:13:29 > 0:13:32I'm not seizing anything.
0:13:32 > 0:13:37But I wonder how long I can resist his increasing demands.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40If you were to hazard a guess, Granville, how long,
0:13:40 > 0:13:43do you think, before you came to my rescue?
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Well, I...
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Can I help you, Mrs Featherstone?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- How's your leg?- Fine.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Well, it wasn't in the library.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Oh, that. Yeah, no.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55I was just wearing it for a friend.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56Give him a breather.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03Newbold. Our Mr Newbold.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06The one we thought was interested only in foreign stamps.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09You think he was there all night?
0:14:09 > 0:14:10They say he was singing,
0:14:10 > 0:14:12whistling and doing little dance steps in the street.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- He was there all night.- Mmm.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Yeah, you know what that means?
0:14:17 > 0:14:20It's just us now!
0:14:24 > 0:14:29Before we go in, be warned - this is just another one of his cons.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31We know that, we're prepared.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33We're one step in front of him.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Have you got anything on necking?
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Outside. I'll see you outside.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55These are not for eating.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58These are for placing somewhere respectful in the home.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01And then what?
0:15:01 > 0:15:06It becomes a guiding spirit of the house.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09- What's inside it?- Ah, sorry, have to be careful.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Of course, the ingredients have to be kept secret in order to avoid
0:15:13 > 0:15:18people running amok with too much bliss.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20It advises caution on the label.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23You can't read t'label.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26If you place your finger on the label,
0:15:26 > 0:15:29the wonder of this little thing is
0:15:29 > 0:15:32it sends a translation straight to your brain.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45It's not working on me.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49All I know is that if you face the other way, you close your eyes
0:15:49 > 0:15:53and concentrate, put your hand on the top of the can,
0:15:53 > 0:15:58you'll feel these soft, gentle waves as they leave the can.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02So, look, I'm going to stand over there so, you know,
0:16:02 > 0:16:05I won't be able to interfere in any way.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Right?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12All I can feel is the can.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Cold, metal can.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- What was that?- Hmm?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26What was what?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I...
0:16:29 > 0:16:34- What?- I don't know how you did it, but you did it.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Come on, we're out of here.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Don't call us, we'll call you.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43They're only £4.50! Wait...
0:16:49 > 0:16:52You're an idiot. You can't keep doing this.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Anybody but an idiot would know that. It's got to stop.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56I like your eyes.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- Well, I don't like yours. - The left one's not bad.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02You're wasting your time - and mine.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04I'm in a relationship.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Then it's lucky I found you just in time.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- I bet he eats meat.- He doesn't!
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Behind your back, I bet he eats meat.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Oh, dear. What happened to you?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17I collided with a vegan.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19It hurts more than she thinks.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29- You look like you've lost 50p. - I've lost more than that.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33I think I've lost my mojo.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Do you know, I had Eric and Cyril like that,
0:17:36 > 0:17:39and then I let them walk away!
0:17:39 > 0:17:40I'm not surprised.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44I've heard your stories. You can't get away with it every time.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46I feel like the naked grocer.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48And that's another thing.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50I wish you'd stop with your insect stories.
0:17:50 > 0:17:55You invent these bugs and beetles. You make people feel itchy.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57You make me feel itchy.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Well, you've got to sound convincing, haven't you?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02You convinced Mrs Harris yesterday.
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Oh, yes!
0:18:03 > 0:18:06With the old underwear mites.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Oh, she really went for that one, didn't she?
0:18:10 > 0:18:11When she left the shop, she was
0:18:11 > 0:18:13acting like she'd got fleas.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26- What if they won't let us in? - We pour on the charm.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27You pour, I'll just stand here.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Failing that, we'll just elbow our way in.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I feel like we're intruding.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36We are intruding. Get used to it.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Oh, hello, Gastric.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46What do you want?
0:18:46 > 0:18:49A nicer welcome would be something.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53We were just wondering how it's going, your exhibition thing.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57I'm finding it hard. It's a constant battle between doubt and certainty.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Of course, working in three dimensions is exciting.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08I feel I've grown.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09It's been a journey.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11An adventure.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15Dare I say a kind of spiritual experience.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Get him.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Granville, do you know what Gastric is up to?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Excuse me, ladies, a bit of chemical warfare, here.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40I'm not sure we want to come in if you've got a creepy-crawly problem.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42I do apologise. I'm sorry. I'm sure it's nothing.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46It's just that there is a rumour that they... Excuse me...
0:19:46 > 0:19:48..they're in the area. Oh!
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Personally, I think it's just a rumour, but...
0:19:52 > 0:19:55..for which I don't think there's any real... Ooh.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57..there's any real foundation.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00But the problem is... you can't be too sure,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03because they're so small, you see, you can't see them.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07What is this thing that you, erm, that you can't see?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Oh, Microbius itchicanus, yeah.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13You'll probably know it better as the itchy bug.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17If you can't see it, how do you know if you've got it?
0:20:17 > 0:20:19- Oh! Ah.- That's it.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23That's how you know. Just like... I'm glad you asked that.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27In fact, I'm glad about a lot of things about you.
0:20:27 > 0:20:32- Oh, you'll make me blush.- Save it for later, you'll probably need it.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Come on, let's go, give them a bit of privacy.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36OK, yes, off you go, ladies,
0:20:36 > 0:20:39but don't forget to just warn the people out there
0:20:39 > 0:20:42about the itchy bug, because they do say, you know,
0:20:42 > 0:20:45that Mrs Lewis has come out in a load of bumps.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Well, if you want the word spreading,
0:20:47 > 0:20:49I'm sure I can be of assistance.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52- She's not kidding.- Huh.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54But Mrs Lewis seemed all right yesterday.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Well, I spoke to Mr Lewis, and he said
0:20:57 > 0:21:00it was such a long time since he looked.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02He could phone a friend.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Oh, yes.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Tell them there's no need to panic, because we have the solution.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Yes... Are you sure there's no need to panic?
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I can't promise that now we're alone.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27- But anyway, there's no itchy bug, I just made it up.- Good.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30So, can you stop them itching now?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41DOOR CRASHES OPEN
0:21:41 > 0:21:45Phwoar! It's heavy. That's it, that's it.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49Bring it in, why don't you? What is it? Your Mini?
0:21:49 > 0:21:53I want your honest opinion...unless you don't like it.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55I thought you were using Madge as your inspiration.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I was, but it came out too frightening.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01I thought you'd be doing something that would fit on a shelf.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Well, it started that way,
0:22:02 > 0:22:06but you have to go where the impulse takes you.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10Yes. They arrested him from Berwick Street for doing that.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15All right, then. Come on, get this cloth off, let's have a look at it.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18No, no. Not there.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20The light's wrong there.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Excuse us for being such peasants.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26I won't have it diminished
0:22:26 > 0:22:29because he's too cheap to have proper lighting.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32I think your next bill has just gone up.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35I want it to make maximum impact.
0:22:35 > 0:22:40Impact?! You nearly knocked the door off its hinges just now.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43It offends me to see it on the floor.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47It requires height, space...
0:22:47 > 0:22:52..the right eye-line. Here, let's get it up here.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Get it up. That's it. Now, be careful.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59It might be just an object to you, but I can feel its pain.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Just watch my polished surfaces, will you?
0:23:05 > 0:23:07There, that's better.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11- It's a peculiar shape.- Eh?
0:23:11 > 0:23:15If he's going to insult my work, I'll take it elsewhere.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17And to think I used to know you when you were liveable-with.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20It's like giving birth!
0:23:20 > 0:23:25You know? I mean, there's a bond here.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Now, just calm down, right, will you?
0:23:27 > 0:23:30This is emotional for me.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34I'm exposing layers of sensitivity here.
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Get on with it.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39Now, I don't mind informed criticism, but just remember,
0:23:39 > 0:23:42if you don't like it, just keep your mouths shut!
0:23:43 > 0:23:45- Are you ready?- Ready?
0:23:45 > 0:23:48We've been ready since you come banging through our front door.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Now, come on.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58That's terrific, that, Gastric.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01That's sensational. That is just right.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04You'll see where I'm coming from.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08I made the decision early on to drop narrow representation
0:24:08 > 0:24:11of form for a more fluid impressionism.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Can you believe this?
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Yeah. Yeah, you leave him alone, you.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Him - he's my favourite artist.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31- That's nice.- I'm not sure.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Lord help us all if that's in the area.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Or even closer.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03It's got nice eyes.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Just imagine that crawling about your nerve ends.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08I'd rather not, if you don't mind.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09It's very shiny.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11You'd think you could see them!
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Oh, I hate it.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23- I rather like it.- No, you don't.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25It's not your kind of thing at all.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29I wish you'd stop that, it's making me feel itchy.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31It's ever since I saw that damn bug.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Oh, don't scratch there, it looks rude!
0:25:34 > 0:25:36- But that's where it's itchy. - When you're with me
0:25:36 > 0:25:40and in public, you will scratch where it is acceptable to scratch.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Oh, got an itch? There you are, madam, that'll cure it for you.
0:25:47 > 0:25:53£4.50. Thank you. Oh, thank you, yes, yes. There you are.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55No problems at all, keep you happy, that will.
0:25:57 > 0:26:02Death ray? You told us it was improving relations in the home.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06Harmony vessels, you said. You spoke of bringing bliss.
0:26:06 > 0:26:11Which we took to include a full range of activities.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Without which, bliss, we thought, would be largely theoretical.
0:26:14 > 0:26:19A merely notional concept. Difficult to evaluate.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21It does all of that -
0:26:21 > 0:26:24death rays and bliss.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Now, you see, the thing is that when you're
0:26:26 > 0:26:29interested in a little frolic,
0:26:29 > 0:26:33the last thing that you want is an attack from the itchy bug.
0:26:35 > 0:26:40Now, this little marvel will not only improve your frolic, right,
0:26:40 > 0:26:44but it'll make sure that you are kept free from the itchy bug.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Now, the world has been waiting for that, hasn't it?
0:26:53 > 0:26:57Thank you. There you are. One for you, sir? Yes, off you go.
0:27:02 > 0:27:07I suppose some might find the emotional value excessive,
0:27:07 > 0:27:12but for me they make a statement about the purity of the metal.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32What is this doing in our bed?
0:27:34 > 0:27:37It won't do any harm down by your feet.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Eric, I am not sleeping with a can in our bed.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44This sends out waves of harmony.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Wave it goodbye, Eric.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48All right.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51But don't blame me if you don't achieve bliss.
0:27:51 > 0:27:52MOUTHS
0:27:57 > 0:28:01I wonder if Gastric will get to talking normal.
0:28:03 > 0:28:07That Mavis looks well in her shorty nightie.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10I've never seen her in one,
0:28:10 > 0:28:13but call it grocer's intuition.
0:28:17 > 0:28:22It's amazing how people can be talked into feeling itchy.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24HE CHUCKLES